Treat Her Good - Nasso (Rabbi Dovid Kaplan) (Weekly Parsha)

okay pares noo 748 so pares noo happens to be the uh Paras Doo happens to be the longest para in the Torah there are uh there are 100 176 suim and Paras noo 176 which is the longest par in the Torah coinci Al or probably not coincidentally there are 176 sukim in the longest chapter of theill which is 119 they 176 Pim and the longest in the longest m in is Babas has 176 so it starts on B all the start on B the last da of babab Basra is Ku inv which is also 17 6 so there you find that both in the and in the gor and inim the longest one is 176 the significance of which escapes me because I have no idea I don't know what 176 do that I've never seen any explanation for it but there it is so uh we're starting on Paras no now if you notice Paras bidor there's a lot of counting which we had spoken about and then after counting the Jewish people the gumar go the the Torah goes into the the Le the levim and there are three Ley families gon kahos and morui and the Torah talks about what each one of these lazy families because they carried the mishun so you have gon Kos is the Middle Brother in marori now Kus becomes the most prominent one middle middle one is the most prominent one now I I don't I'm only mentioning this coincidentally that I also have two brothers and I'm the middle one but I'm just mentioning that coincidentally but Kus was the most prominent one his brothers probably did not gang up on him like my brothers did on me for Good Reason by the way I don't say that they didn't have their reasons and uh uh but but gon Kus and marori are the three brothers now I want to show you two things first of all each one they're the families of the Lev each family had an assignment of what they carry in the mishun gon carried the hardware They Carried the poles and sorry They Carried the software They Carried the C curtains and the various tapestries and draperies that's what gon carried K mirari carried the hardware They Carried the the heavy the poles the beams the hardware Kus the middle one They Carried the Hol out They Carried the Aron kodes the manora the the holiest utensils so kahos the middle brother is seen as being the most prominent and that's how the previous para ends the previous para ends with the assignment of the Kus what they were carrying that they carrying the the manora and the the the the what you call the mishkan and the uh the what do you call the uh all the utensils that went around with the with with with the main uh uh utensils of the mishkan then the Torah starts on page 748 G the count the and it tells us a count of the family of Kus in last week says and also count the family of gon so you know you guys have learned enough to see every word ofes every letter every word of gorah there's never anything that's redundant there always a reason why why why did they write that and why didn't they write something else here the unfortunate talk about the word gam Ro Ben sh also them why also just say once you've counted the others count them also why gam what is the gam okay so you could you know the plain meaning is well we counted them now we're also going to count them most C proba you make it a little a little cooler I'm just like nervous energy so uh so what do you call it the uh uh uh so why is the gam what's the gam what do you say I would say that when they used G said that like second is as important as the first o nice is real I should I should be absent more often the uh what do you call the uh what do you call the the the gum is to tell you you might think well that's go join us come on in and join us guys can you everybody got a seat everybody got Kish you got Griffin you see where we are page 740 748 so so that's exactly what the commentary say you know imagine let me ask a question you've been on planes you've flown who's more important in in your in your heart who's more the pilot or the guys are loading loading baggage the P yeah right some people say the baggage yeah I can fly a plane I still can't figure out how to get baggage from one place to another right and they can't either apparently yeah so so so the truth of the matter is the truth of the matter is the pilots are more important I've even looked at these guys sometimes the the flight attendants I have nothing against these guys but you know you know to to you know so the when when they're when they're you know the girls come around you know holding handing you a hot a hot nap one of those hot things to wipe on your you know but when guys come around doing it and I just like okay you know all right but but I could think of I could think of you no I like like like you know I could think of a cooler uh profession you know you know it's like you know okay listen to each his own but but in my heart of hearts like and sometime I see these older guys you know they r i mean who are them compared to the pilot the pilot you know you you need the pilot these guys are coming around you know giving you a tray giving you food and that sort of thing the answer is if it's under normal circumstances maybe but what about what about if you're going to fly the presidential plane how would you feel if you're loading the baggage on the presidential you know president travels he travels with about 200 people he's got his people in the the presses you know the whole how would you feel if you're fling the bad bage over there that's a little different when you're loading the baggage for the king or you're loading the baggage or you're serving the royal family like then you feel a little a little little different this is the torah's emphasizing we're all serving Hashem gam exactly what ex exactly what Israel said g not everybody's going to carry their own kodes not everybody's going to be the leader of the community the rabbi of the community but everybody's got a job you're the Gabby who's more important for the sh the rabbi or the gabbi yeah well the rabbi maybe right Rabbi Salinger just told me he knew somebody who wasn't doing well in second grade kid was you know kid was just a mess you know he said that was his words the kid was just a mess say so the uh the the parents came to talk to second grade teacher saidh how is he ever going to succeed in life they don't worry about it he just needs a good secretary because secretaries basically run the business the guy who's a multi-millionaire today that second grader is a multi-millionaire today and he forgot all about his teacher but the second graders all is is you know me mega mega Buck that's how he put it that's how s put you need a good secretary okay so the Gabby generally runs the sh but who's most who's the rabbi the community is more problem no you're the gabbi you have your job you're the Balor you have your job you're the guy who runs the school you have your job you're the guy who cleans the holes you have your job because we're doing it for the king it's not that doing it for some somebody else I may not feel good about myself but if we're doing for the king that's something else okay now let's go on because now we're going to get to the the the main issue here take a look at PUK yud per uh skip the parakeet parakeet persecute be count to the people and on page 750 uh uh sorry so here the Torah talks about tithing various uh uh ideas in the tithing Pro process and then at the end of the uh uh the P if you look at three lines from the bottom the ISU how do the Arts go translate it's a funny turn of phrase a man's holies shall be his we see what that means a man who gives to the co it shall be for it shall be his what does that mean take a look at rashi rashi is the left column uh about six lines six lines uh from the bottom left colum if you find it please show the person next to you if you find a pach other person next to you what does that mean because the Torah describes the gifts that you have to give to a coin in a Ley you guys are aware that there is a process page 752 P 752 there's a process whereby you have to give things to the kohanim and the lvim when the land was divided up the kohanim and the lvim were not given they were not given land they were given cities but they did not have agricultural plots so the kohanim and the lvim are relying on the people so there are certain things that you have to give to the kohanim certain things you have to give to the lvim there's truma and there's Meer and a cohain does the Redemption of the first I just did a Redemption last week the redemp I redeemed the first born last week 380 shuckles it's so the uh what do you go the uh there there are various things that you have to give to the Coan give to the Ley now Ley you give 10% of your produce Le get a flat 10% that's all they get the Kum get the truma they get the cuts of meat certain cuts of meat if you if you besides I'm not talk about the sacrifices in the base of English if you slaughter a cow so you can have a backyard barbecue there are three parts of ordinary animals we're not talking about we're not talk about Sanctified animals now ordinary animals there are three parts that have to be given to a cooh there is Thea and K the forearm it's a certain cut of meat from the the forearm of the animal theim which is the Jawbone and apparently includes tongue and the Cava is a certain part of the stomach somebody told me that a sirloin steak uh is is included but if you so for example if any of you like tongue in the time of if you want to eat tongue it's only available in one place guess where you got to go to the Kohan and buy it kohanim you automatically every time Griffin you an animal you're going to give a your your favorite Cohen I'm not saying who it should be I'm just saying your favorite Coen uh you're going to give him the you're going to give him the tongue and you're give him the gifts you're going to mosun and anybody else a Isel wants to eat it he's going to have to purchase them for a cohain between me and you there are no discounts so so these are things that a coin gives now which coin do he give it to says the Torah over here the Torah describes the gifts for have thought you might have thought that the could come to your house and help themselves to their stuff they could take it by force a person is entitled to his holy things meaning the benefit of giving it other words something sometimes when you give somebody something there's a there's a a an underlying benefit here if I give my gifts to a certain coin if you give your tongue or the or or or the the what do you call it the meat to a certain coin so there's likely to be a benefit for example if I'm driving past the bus stop and I only have room for one person in the car and there's you and another guy who has not given me the meat because he gave it to somebody else well who am I likely to give the ride to right so so that's what's called toas there's a benefit not who am I likely by the way uh between me and you don't even try getting in the car if you didn't give me your stuff okay I say likely because I'm being I'm being soft but that's the now look at the next line that's the first idea here what does that mean one who does not give away his tithes Lo he will have a tithe meaning if you have $100,000 you should give away $10,000 for example if you don't give away that $10,000 you're going to end up with only $110,000 that means if you don't give away away your money the way you should or you don't give away the produce the way you should low yeah then you're going to have that percentage is going to end up by you that's Rashi is bringing down the medish so I want to tell you an astonishing medish astonishing medish and uh it sounds it sounds bizarre then we're going to see that it's not quite as bizarre as you think it is the medish says there was a man who did not separate his tithes religiously he was he was cutting Corners he wasn't giving away as much as he should and one day he was gripped by what's called a Ru Ru means a spirit of folly call it uh for lack of a better term and he took a club and he walked into his he had a wine Sellar and he took his club and he walked into his wine so he started randomly smashing his own wine barrels so his son walked in and apparently his son go what are you doing and he he he he the father hit the son so the son grab the says watch this and he started smashing wine barrels also and they started smashing up wine barrels why cuz he didn't tithe properly what the M says okay now I want to ask you have you ever met anybody that's done that if you ever met anybody who's walked into the house started trashing their living room furniture not really no you ever met anybody who's going out to their car and started smashing windows in his own car you never you never see that sort of thing where do we find it you ever huh bad Investments absolutely ever seen did you or anybody you know ever make a really bad investment and then you turn around you noo IO it's not it's it's yeah and then you know and something happens and then you say to yourself what was I thinking didn't there ever happen to you in life that you said what was I thinking how did what what was going through my head when I did this I know where where where's my SE where's my head at didn't ever happen to you where there's a mistake this is a very common mistake when you come up with a good idea you think to yourself o it worked out Hashem gave me blessing I had the idea and Hashem blessed the Endeavor I you know I have an idea for for I'll start selling books out of my garage and then it turns into Amazon so you know the Torah attitude is well listen I had the idea but Hashem blessed the Endeavor with with all the success false where'd you get the idea from Hashem something we're always jump in a stage late Hashem drops the idea in your head where do you get the idea from and sometimes to manipulate us a person will has will drop anidea then we're turn around later and say what was I thinking what what was going through my head at the time well I can't believe that I did that what was I thinking the answer is you're right where did you get the idea from go drop the idea in your head so the medish is telling you it's an exaggerated way guy takes the thing and he starts smashing barrels you never made bad Investments you never did something foolish in your life that you went and turn around say what I can't believe I did that I can't believe I shot a spitball right at the principal it's one thing at the teacher but at what was they doing just because Josh dared me so I nailed the principle what was I thinking what was I you know so so where did the idea come from and the same thing when it comes to Investments same thing comes to life decisions same thing when it comes to deciding who you're going to marry you're and then and sometimes later you say what was I thinking right so you should know that re reut like burkwitz re youve heard reut like burkwitz one of the biggest Post in American post you've heard of him re burkwitz say he said any man you listening guys okay here you go yeah he'll take it to the bank right any man who sometimes during the first year of marriage doesn't think to himself I made a mistake is a liar not my words his words that's right that's right it doesn't have to be the first year it could be the first week could be first month could be the first 25 year at some point it's normal it's normal that and you should know by the way I always told guys when you get married I'll give you a pre Priceless piece of advice you're going to experience no matter how long you've known somebody no matter sh no matter how long you've known somebody you're going to experience when you get married a certain point usually early on early on where you're you know you could have a fight or a disagreement or she just you're just not seeing I something and you get a really sinking feeling like boy you know I I I think I think this was a mistake I mean I just think I I think I I blew it big time don't panic that's very normal it's normal it's actually normal and then you'll see next thing you know things get better and what happens is you get gradual chunks of time where you know you go for a few days where you're just you can barely sleep you go then it gradually and eventually you get to the point where you realize yes you have no the doubts are gone this is the one I was meant to fight with through eternity right and and you become very subtle at that point at that point you're say yeah that's that but you should know in the early days of marriage is very very very very frightening and you could ask yourself what was I thinking and you should know that put the thought in your head to marry her because it turns out she's the best she's the best thing for you she's the reason you won't end up in prison and therefore she is the best thing for you and the same thing when it comes to Investments and that's what the medish is telling you a guy could go smashing barrels what idiot does something like that the answer is who dropped the thought in his body he had a r the me says he got this R okay now look what happens next now there's a lot of misconception here guys so we got to get this clear there's a lot of misinformation on this next section but any man whose wife becomes unloyal disloyal um she Rebels against her husband she commits an act how does the AR Go translate it she uh commits an act of treachery against her she goes astray and she commits an act of treachery this this is the famous SOA this is the woman who is a SAA and a SOA is oh sorry sorry I skipped one thing before I go each that last pule before we get to the to the woman by what happens what's eventually going to happen to the SAA by the way she drinks the water and then what happens she does not explode that's the misconception like she does not in the word everybody thinks this is a Monty Python after dinner mint you know right she does she doesn't explode she swells if she if she to die she swells up it's not like hit the deck she she drank the water look out it's not she she does explode if she dies if she dies she dies of a she dies of of a painful stomach stomach we we'll see in a second but I forgot one point I forgot one point back back at the previous p and everybody says the same thing she blows up not too much TV guys the uh so on page 752 back at the bottom line what one more I forgot why I forgot mention one thing here so it says so there says there's once a man who had three friends it's very close with ruin he was okay with shim Ley was you know the least of his friends okay one day he gets summoned to come to the king and there's some sort of some sort of uh he's uh some sort of charges against he has to stand trial before the king so ru and his best friend says I ain't going anywhere near there you know you're you're on your own Shimon who's not as good a friend he says well I'll escort you to the gates that's it and Ley who's the least of his friends says I'll go in with you so says those three people represent money relatives and Torah admits this the thing we love most in this world is money my relatives they're okay you know you know they're not money they're not money but whichever one is is higher on your list and the last one is Torah and Mitzvah which yeah we do our Mitzvah we learn our Torah but sometimes we have a rather tenuous connection to them when a person dies he's got to go to the king he's got to stand trial he's got to go into the courtroom those he loves most his money his gold his possessions his material wealth that stops they they they abandon him the minute he dies can't take that with you his relatives they take him to the gates they bury him can't go in with you the only thing that goes in with a person is his Torah and his mitzah the Torah that he studied and the mitzah that he's done and that's why it says the is the holy things those should be for you that alludes to the holy things that a person's engaging in this world the person's learned Torah he's done Mitzvah he's put on Fillin he DAV he he was good to people that sort of thing that a person takes with him other than that a person takes nothing with him okay now let's go to the so so we have a man now the wife has been unfaithful and the husband is not sure about it take a look at a spirit of how does he translate it a spirit of jealousy like it's like the word keenom means a spirit of jealousy a man warns his wife now let me before we read the Pim let's let's let's say exactly what's happening here because there are a couple of fundamentals that we need to get to a man says to his wife he sees her he doesn't like the way she's she's talking to to another to another man and or maybe uh she had a shabas guest and she spent a little too much time chitchatting with them at some point the husband says to his wife don't be alone with Ruan he gives her a specific warning on a specific person and then the wife is isolated at some point there is testimony that she was seen alone behind closed doors with Ru at that point she's brought to the Bas mdash they take hashem's name and write it on a parchment the parchment is then dropped into water hashem's name dissolves the name YK VK the hashem's what do they tell the ineffable name and they drop it in the water and she drinks the water and one of two things is going to happen either she's going to die not explode she's going to die of a painful stomach illness or if she is innocent if she's innocent then according to one opinion in the gamor if she didn't have children she'll have children according to another p no she well that one that's not going to happen but if she had difficult births she'll have easy births if she didn't have sons she'll have sons but not that she's going to go from0 to 60 and have children if she didn't have children that's the two opinions in the gumar okay so it's either going to have a positive result or it's going to have a negative result the question everybody asks is why does it say in the first pic the Top Line says if his wife's committed treachery against him yet we don't know that she has CU she may be innocent so why does the Torah say when she Strays and she commits a treachery M obal she's rebelled against her where where where why would she why would the Torah describe it in those terms if she hasn't happened yet she has she may be innocent she may actually end up with children yeah it's only because she goes against her husband's words after he said something that excellent excellent even earlier the fact not only that she went against the husband's word wasn't in other words there are different levels of treachery there's one level of treachery where she committed adultery there's another level of Trey where she disobeyed her husband there's the third level of treachery where she even got to the point that the husband had to say something to her why do I even have to warn you about that the fact you know even in a house parents leave the house for the evening and they turn to one of the sons and they say to him don't get wild in the living room why did they say it to him and not to him they know him they know him he broke the V he he's the one who broke the vow last time and he's the one who with the with with with the the incident with the noodles and he's the one he's the one right so you're already you're already treacherous right you're the treacherous one that's already a treachery the fact that they even have to warn you is a treachery that I even have to suspect you is a treachery so thir tell number one there's already she's done something wrong by even being suspected and like Griffin says and now she's done even more that she was isolated with the guy so what happens they she's alone with this guy who had a husband what do you think they're they're they're talking philosophy back there right well they take him off to the base of Migos and let's see what happens to the base now we'll see and she drinks the water now she could get out of it by admitting she committed the crime but if she commits she committed the crime the husband divorces her and she loses any monetary compensation if she insists that her innocence then we drink the she drinks the water and hashem's name is going to have an effect on her one way or the other positive or negative at the end of the day now there are two big questions here question number one is we never find in the Torah that any you know if you go to Authority let's say you have a question in your kitchen your uh your your Flik knife fell into a hot milk pot with an onion and you know one of these good so you go to a r to ask him is the knife TR is a what's the what does the r do never in history has a prophet even though there we go one second I feel it the knife is kosher right the knife is tra they don't do that you open up the books and you look around and you see what the says in and that's how they it you it based on there is never anywhere where there is a supernatural intervention in a halic process even we learned about a few weeks ago we learned about the guy who has Tas leprosy what do you do when you have leprosy and he suspects it who' he go to you go to the coin and by the way if you come to me be a good idea if you gave me that meat earlier you know sometime down the line I tend to be I tend to to rule a little stringently when guys are when guys are giv the meat to other people but okay so so you go to the co and what does the co do he takes a look at your arm or whatever it is he says okay toor or t how does the co know it the co knows the laws ofas he doesn't go and write hashem's name and drop it on your arm why over here why why does the process change go to the cohain and tell the cohain listen this is what I said this is what she did this is what happened now can I can we live together or not and the according goes what do you call well you know no Heins why is this different no over here all of a sudden we invoke some sort of Supernatural process we're erasing hashem's name why why here does the Torah invoke hashem's name anybody ever a shot and nowhere else no else in history does not work doesn't work based on based on on on any sort of of what do you called uh Supernatural means it's all based on the books clinical and over here does it does it have something to do with peace very good it has not only with with peace it has to do with the most important area of Peace of shalom what's called Shalom bias for the sake of maintaining I mean imagine they go to a cohain and the Cain's listens to the story and he says well what happened well you know I warned my wife and she was what do you call we had this guy and I mean he PRS to be pretty handsome and she's been hanging around with him and I said don't and next thing I know they were in uh they were they were locked in a room for a half hour over there and coin says you know he looks up at toos and he says based on kazaka and Ro and me he gives you a whole dresser over here he says she's fine she's fine you could you could live together she's not she's not defiled the husband will never have the true peace of mind of knowing that his wife is really innocent there's only one way that could happen that Hashem gets involved that Hashem the Divine says in theor says Hashem says I allow my name to be erased for the sake of Shalom Bas and gentlemen that tells you how important it is shom BAS that shom for a husband and wife to get along when husband and wife get along well the divine presence is there and when they're fighting the divine presence leaves and Hashem says for the sake of maintaining peaceful coexistence between a husband and a wife I allow my name to be erased which is a less it for us that every man has to allow his ego to be erased for the sake of Shalom Bas because that's the thing that destroys the home is the male ego problems in marriage it's the husband 99% of the time if there's a problem a serious problem it's the husband the husband is not treating his wife properly the women will be good if the man is good they'll be good they'll re reciprocate that's a rule and if a woman is having a trouble woman's in a bad guy says yeah my wife is miserable she's always in a bad mood well go look in a mirror I don't mean a physical mirror that too that could be but that's not it go look at a personality mirror are you are you list are you interrupting her when she speaks are you respecting her more than yourself like the gamorra says do you compliment her on a regular basis do you criticize her guys ask me when can you criticize your wife when are when and how do you criticize your wife right like it's like asking when and how do you go to Vietnam right to fight in the Vietnam War how do you you when when how do you don't criticize who said you have to criticize her who says you have to criticize her ever yeah but she's doing something I don't like so work on yourself and they have an instinct they have an instinct to know they'll the more you work on yourself the better they treat you and and the more you criticize the worse it becomes that's your fault not you the husband it's a male so if Hashem allows his name there's a medis listen to this one there's a woman came home a woman went to hear a Shear from Reby mayor she went to rebi Mayor Shear the medis say rebi mayor was giving a Shear Friday night the woman went to the shear and she came home late apparently her husband was hungry said where were you she said I was a rebi mayor Shear so the husband was ticked off he said well go back to Reby mayor and spit in his eye I'm not letting you come home till you set foot in the house till you spit in rebi mayor's eye woman was not going to go and and spit like somebody say go spit Rim K's eye right rer was bigger Ra was the goor was the to of rebbi Akiva so so he goes to the woman starts walking around outside the base Mish rebbi mayor with Roes he saw the woman out there and through rues the the Divine what's it called how do you translate Divine Spirit rested on Reby mayor and he knew what happened transpired between the wife and the husband so re mayor sees Other Woman and walking around outside El he goes oh my eye oh oh I need some human saliva lady lady come here spit my eye seven times so she say are you sure he go yeah quickly quickly so she go she spits in his eyes seven times so says okay now go home and tell your husband you told me to spit Raber's eye once I spat in his eye seven times so she goes scampering off happily and R's disciples were there say okay what was that all about come on come on well come on yeah pain in your eye what was that all about sh Mary says well they she had a spat no p in with her husband and uh what do he call and uh this says this is what needed to be done so tell me said well why didn't you tell us we would have uh we would have applied some physical therapy and uh to the guy and I would have accepted his wife back very happily after we got finished with him what uh what happened here sir Mary says listen if AEM could allow his name to be erased for the sake of shayas so I could allow my dignity to be set aside for the sake of shom and I'm not kidding guys this is the number one interrupt it what what messes up marriages because husbands think they know it all and they got they got the they and and it's got to be done their way and if they're not pleased they yell and they holler and that sort of thing that destroys a marriage and a person has to know if a is willing to let his name be erased for the sake of sh a man has to set his name aside also by the way I was uh I was reminiscing with a friend of mine you know you guys grew up you guys have grown up in a generation nowadays every other magazine every other what do you call psychology this and raising children is psychology parents have to be psychologists it a psychology qu how to raise children I was reminiscing with a friend of mine when we were growing up our fathers weren't psychologists our fathers were physical therapists you know and and and they straightened you out good and proper you got a couple you got it when you deserve and and believe me you deserved more and you got straighten out good and proper then you went on your way you know there was no psychology there was no psychology in my house then I could tell you my father had his his left hand was a psychologist they graduated physical therapy school with with with so and not too often maybe I only got it maybe two three times in my life maybe three maybe three four times in my life not more than that not more than that cuz he can't he can't do it all the time because do any good but and and when I got it I knew I deserved it and I got it it was fair and that took care of it there was no say oh you know you're bad you know you're you're just not good none of that stuff none of that at all okay one last question how do woman get to this point who we're talking about here we're not talking about some girl at a frat party in arizo State University you're talking about you're not talking about you know you're not talking about you're not talking about you know we're talking about what do you call you're talking about a FR woman who you see on the streets of er Israel with a tile and with nine children around her her buggy each one all under four years old and uh and and she's dressed like she's she's wearing a tent you know and and and and what and what do you call and and all of a sudden her husband her husband name is cman zman schnitzel and he says there and and he and all of a sudden he said and he and he says b Miriam said you better not be alone with with with borim and ruven imagine giving this guy an Aliyah you know who are we talking about over here you talking about a family the worst thing that they ever do is they bench too fast oh I can't believe you didn't say Asher yuts are from a sitter yeah you know that that's who you're talking about all a su the husband talk about you know that guy over there honestly half the time you go into a fir house the women have nothing to do with them and they're on the other side of the table there's no interaction over who are you talking about over here and if you are talking about a woman's if you're talking about a woman who's what do you call it who who's running around with clothing allergies okay that I understand but if you're talking about a from bakov girl over here who's who's what do you called who speaks Yiddish you know all she talks about is KP and all of a sudden all of a sudden you're you're warning her about about why about about about being a li I like what happened over here so T's teaching you you're right it didn't happen overnight it's not like one day it's not like one day she was saying to hilum and the next day she hit a club you know it didn't go from from Zer to 60 they had a guest at the house one shabis and a little chitchat across the table maybe a little less more more than more than appropriate and then they invited this guy it was an interesting guy and then they invited him back a couple weeks later and he helped clear off the table in the meantime the husband Friday night you know was tired so he just got hor Al real quick and the wife was left with this guy they start and then the next thing you know she invites and she's pushing to invite him back again because she enjoyed him so much and the husband is a dreadful boar and it's got a who who whose devor is long long long and and and and and works like works better than a than a sedative and and uh and and this guy's clever and witty and what do you call she and next thing you know uh she she she he needs to go back to the house he STS the wife volunteers to walk him home they go all B it it's like gradual boom boom boom boom little increments that's what the Torah is teaching you you maintain the line over here because that line gets pushed and when the line gets pushed I had a guy here once he told me that he was going to college and he promised himself I'm not going to get caught up in that that that that that that absolutely uh hefer Behavior you know completely you know completely you know just just do anything you want said I promised myself I would he said within three months he turned into an animal guy told me that to it didn't happen over he didn't jump into college and next thing you know jump it you know you get get get get get trashed took it 24 hours you know takes it takes time you got to get you got to get adjusted you know got to meet your roommate first I had a guy here told me his roommate was such an alcoholic he said this guy used to put this guy had beer everywhere he went they had beer in the car beer beer in class beer everywhere he used to in the morning he put beer in his Cheerios and it was just just just what you know you know okay what what do you expect so there are people who mean well but the next thing you know they turn into they turn into some sort of subhuman what happened it didn't go happen automatically and the gor says be careful because one day you'll do this AA then take a from guy you take a from guy thear says you the from guy me the from guy we the from guys one day you could do this AA the next day you'll do a bigger a the third day you'll be and eventually you're going to worship idols so if you tell me this guy worshiped Idols I mean this guy's such a from guy he learns bakama he worships well he didn't start didn't close his babak and go worshiping idols and went from here went to then went to that's what happened to her that's what the Torah is teaching over here nobody is immune that's why the mionion says in don't believe in yourself till the day you die because anybody could anybody could go off Yan Co was the COO for 80 years and at the end of his life he became a sasy became a saduki the the reform of the day after being a CO goto for 80 years and he went off at the end of his life nobody's nobody's immune that's what to tell you about this woman this woman was a good bakov girl a wonderful BAC that's why he married her well one thing led to another one thing led to another and eventually the husband got to the point where he had a Warner all right but they don't she doesn't explode guys she doesn't explode