TPY Coach Training - RYT

Welcome to the possible you seminar coach training sessions. We are really excited that you're coming on board and I'm blessing you that everything that I share in this training is integrated and that you are on your way to becoming an effective and powerful posing you with the meaning that comes with it. the depth of meaning because you know having meaning from making a difference for a person if you're the kind of person that's meant to be a coach it's one of the most meaningful things in the world and I'm also blessing you that there should be good parnosa coming your way from the graduates and people as well that even if they didn't do the pos seminar so welcome we are going to go level by level in understanding what it takes to be a great possible you coach and one of those things is obviously coming to the seminar as many times as possible. You know the best possible you coaches have done the seminar over and over again. the professor who wrote his doctorate with the possible us a major part of the PhD that he received only understood the seminar on his fifth time doing the seminar which tells you that you need to come through the seminar quite a few times to really be an effective coach. Once in a while we have somebody who's just like such a star coach that they're able to coach immediately. But again, that's like he that guy is born for this. The possib coach stays in the posibu modality while he's coaching. Chances are if you're a great coach, you're going to know a lot of modalities, things that are different than anything that's done in the possible you. But when you're coaching someone who's in the possibly you program and in maybe even the first year from when they do the possibly you want to keep their training in the possibible modality. Don't confuse them with new modalities. Just keep it focused in possibly you. As you develop them as a client, you can certainly use all kinds of other ways of helping people grow. listening, active listening. When you're with a possibible participant and you're listening to them, you're really listening. Really listening means active listening. Normally, we think of listening as something passive because the other person's talking, so I'm passively listening. But active listening causes the speaker to actually be drawn out. they they speak right into your listening. It's a gift to be an active listener, but you can also work on it and and really draw people out as they speak. Another thing that people make the mistake of and you'll make this mistake a million times and that is to say, "Oh, I also had a similar circumstance. Let me tell you a story." That's called teameming. And because I mean in the end it's lashma. You're just trying to let them know you're on the same team, but you've interrupted them and now you're on your own story. When this person's actually coming to you for coaching, you're just, you know, like you you've you lost the plot. You know, you're on your plot now as opposed to theirs. Now, I'm not against a little teeming. It is useful only in as much as it can let them know that you get the context. You understand what they're saying. So there's nothing wrong with saying something like I had the exact same experience when I was a kid or or oh wow I also used to have our family vacations in that same place where that happened. I can totally picture what you're saying. There's nothing wrong with a little teeming because that amount of teameming gets the person more comfortable that they know they're speaking into your listening. But be really careful not to overly share. Listening also comes from a confidentiality that you can say it pull you can tell the person like you should know. I'm just reminding you that nothing you say will ever ever leave the two of us. Whatever is said in this room or whatever's shared in this room stays in this room. You have my word and to reiterate that. But it's also vibration, you know, that people get that you're the kind of person with that level of integrity that nothing ever gets shared. And so you make that real clear. And sometimes you can sense that the person's nervous to speak because you know they just so wouldn't want this getting out. They don't even want to get it out to you. But they certainly don't want it getting out to others is to assure them that this is going to stay within. When you are coaching Impossible You, you're really listening between the lines. Obviously, you want to listen to what they're saying, but you're also listening to the the the spirit of of the way they're sharing, hearing between the words what's what's really going on. People are very careful and protective and they'll speak in a way that they think they're sharing, but they're actually holding back and deflecting what it is they really want to share. And your job as the coach is to hear what they're really saying and to focus them in and to bring them into that. Generally, positive coaches go right to the point. So if someone's saying something like he saw himself as not the smartest. So that's protective. That's not an inner negative belief. The inner negative belief in that case would be dumb. And it's your job not to protect them as well. Meaning they're protecting themselves. But you're coaching possibly you. And possibly you is raw. Possibly you is is like you know what's really going on here? The whole technology is to call people on their bluffs because what is an Emma talk if not, you know, exposing the bluff of a person. And so when you're coaching, you can be as friendly as like the most friendly person you've ever met. You're always friendly. You're always warm. But you're not allowing them that safety. What safety? the safety that keeps them telling their stories. You're you're basically busting them with their with their story and with their protective layers and their protective language. You are listening for what's really being said, what's really being communicated underneath it all. and to be able to know that there's there's something under there and to get to that. Now again, it could be that you'll take this advice and you'll try to dig. You don't have to dig. You don't have to dig and you can and you can ask you can say like uh what's really under that or you know that was a very protective way of saying something else. Is there is there a stronger way, a more embarrassing way, a more shameful way of expressing that inner negative belief that would be more accurate than the way you expressed it to me? And give them that chance to express it. In general, you want to be facilitating their process as opposed to processing them because it's a lot more effective if they come to their conclusions. You may know exactly what needs to be said and it's better you get them to say it. It's better you get them to process it. They'll go much further by processing it themselves than you telling them the answers. You don't want to give the answers too much. That's why the famous joke of the regarding therapists, you know, in the therapy community, they they make fun of the therapist that is busy telling the person what's wrong, telling the person what's going on with them and stuff because if you separate the words therapist to just th it spells the rapist, which means that you're like you're assaulting them with your ability to see what's going on as opposed to facilitating them to go through their process which is the job of the coach. Coaching Emma talks that's really the essence of your work and possibly coaching. So the Emma talks it's got four major steps and the first one should be really looking for what is the actual inner negative belief and not letting them run on and on and on but just I saw myself. So, you're keeping them very directed with I saw myself and making sure they're saying it in the past tense and going into a as concise a word as possible. It shouldn't be very descriptive. It shouldn't be a big description or big story. It's just I saw myself and then unlovable or unwanted or whatever. Clear like that. And then when they share with you how they covered it up, you want meaning survival strategy. Um and in and also I'm just going to add that instead of saying my inner negative belief is or was or the my survival strategy was it's better to keep it in a natural language. So it's I saw myself as without the words inner negative belief and I and instead of my survival strategy was it was I covered it up with and then they should share their fight and their flight. Not everyone has a fight or flight for every inner negative belief, but they should share the fight and flight of it. And and then when you're going into impacts now, it's like you're you're taking them deeper. Now we're leaving the mind. We're going to the heart. We're going into the body. And at that point, you know, you don't need so much talking. By the way, when they say they're in a negative belief, it's a good thing to get the story. If they've if they know the story of where it came from, that itself will get them into their body because if they can go back and share the story of where they got the inner negative belief, the source of the inner negative belief, they'll already go into their body quite a bit, then they can give you the survival strategy. And you know, it's not a big deal if they want to share a few stories of how they do their survival strategy and then they go into the impacts. Now, once they're in impacts, you might notice that they're still sharing survival strategies, meaning they'll be saying stuff like, you know, so one of the impacts is is that I really was avoiding the family quite a bit. And now what they're doing is they're leaving it to you to make a deal that someone who avoids the family is going to be lonely. But you need them to get to the word lonely. You need them to go there. So you would say to them, you're what you're doing right now is just describing step two is survival strategies. Let's go into the impacts. Close your eyes and breathe. We're always saying that close your eyes and breathe. And you're always saying the words, what's it like in your body when you become present to the impact of the having that inner negative belief and the those survival strategies. You want to repeat the inner negative belief in the survival strategy. Don't just say inner negative belief and survival strategy. Okay. When you when you cover up uh unlovable with avoiding family members, you know, what's it like in your body? Always say that right now. Say it. What's it like in your body when you become present to the impact of covering up unlovable by avoiding family members. Just breathe into that. You don't have to speak so much. Just breathe into that. Feel it. Go to your heart. Go into your body. What's it like when you get in touch with that? Just feel that. And what's it like for others? Like who's getting hurt here? Keep your eyes closed and breathing. Who's getting hurt? Who's gotten hurt? And go to that person. Who's that person? Okay. It's your brother. Okay. and what's it been like for him? What's been the impact on his life? And it's good to close your own eyes. As you see, my eyes are closing while I'm doing this. It's like their eyes are closed. They know yours are because it feels funny if someone's looking at you. You can sense someone's staring at you. So, it's good if you close your eyes, too. And let them go into those impacts. If they're talking too much, slow them down to get them more into their body. What's it like in your body right now when you become present to that? And speak to your brother. What's his name? His name's Okay, speak to him. Use his name. Says, "You must have gone through." Tell him. Tell him what he must have gone through. You must have gone through such a difficult time growing up with me as your brother. Speak it out with him. Get him in touch with what it's been like for you. Say, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to survive. Re I'm really sorry. Please forgive me. And you just have them stay in there as long as they can. Ideally, they cry. If they don't cry. So, so it might be there's something else underneath all of this that you need to get to. But eventually when they've hit the the depth of the impacts and they the law of economy is kicking in that they realize they just can't trade this anymore. They just can't live that inner negative belief in survival strategies. It costs too much when they get to that point. So then you ask them who are you and when they say who they are. So who I am is right here right now. who I am is and they stay say who they are. You got to make sure that's in the being that it's in the positive. I don't need to hear that. They don't have to worry what the family thinks anymore. That's the negative which in the sub the nois the subject is what people think of them. So we don't want that. We're creating a new vibration. And um and it should be really boiled down to like one creative word, something that inspires them, something that calls them forth into life. It's but it's not in the doing. And it's not words like successful or happy because you're not always happy. A possibility is something that works no matter where you are, no matter what's going on. You could be at a funeral and you still have your possibility. Whereas someone says they're happy, people aren't always happy and so that's not an appropriate possibility. Successful, Hashem is in charge of success. So what they they didn't succeed in something and now they don't have their possibility. Success is a very doing thing. Saying I'm successful. So we are creating the possibility as something that is there no matter what. Now, obviously some things aren't there no matter what. Like for example, money. So if they say I'm a man of abundance and really they're broke, that's okay. Or I'm healthy when really they're sick. It's okay. Let them create that vibration. That's that's good because everyone should be healthy and everyone should be living in abundance in a perfect world. When they finish with their possibility, they should be feeling inspired. They should be feeling energized. They should be feeling empowered. If they're not, that means that they were hiding something else. Now, I know you're probably like, "Oh, man. Does that mean we have to go back to the beginning?" And the answer is yes. You say to them, "Listen, if you're not inspired, that means that there was some other inner negative belief underneath the one you shared." So, tell me, what's under unlovable? What's under that? There's something else you're hiding. What are you hiding in there? What are you afraid to say? what what what are you really saying inside that you're afraid to tell me? Go under that. And so most of the time they'll be able to reveal a deeper thing that's really going on with them. And then you what's your survival strategy? It might be the same survival strategy as before, but now we're now we're we've we're police taser gunning the actual inner negative belief. And you may do that actually before they are uninspired at the end of you know the MS talk. But if they're uninspired at the end of the MS talk, you got to bring them back to what's really going on. You know there's a lot of MS talks that um that can't really be had until there's another MS talk hat. So they're they're in the middle of an MS talk, but really they've got a whole other MS talk that they have to have first in order to get to this inner negative belief MS talk. sharing MS talks with loved ones or business colleagues or you know community members. So when do they share when do they not share? As a coach, part of your job is to make sure that they are managing consensus in their lives, which means giving them the encouragement that they can have MS talks with family members and or or you know, a wife or a best friend or whatever. But meaning their their main concerns, they got to have their MS talks with them. Otherwise, those people are just going to unconsciously crush them to get them back to who they were in order that they could be who they are. The parents when they're doing it with their parents, a couple things to coach them in. One is that there's some parents who won't let them talk. The parents are going to just like interrupt, interrupt, interrupt. So that person they that client you should tell them that they should say to their parent they have something very important to tell them and if they can please give you some time and can you please sit down and that'll get them scared like oh great what's the difficult news that'll scare them and also to get them to promise that they won't interrupt. Of course they're going to interrupt anyway but you now you get to say you promised and you promised you wouldn't interrupt and then they can keep speaking. Uh but with parents there's very often you don't get two chances for this and so you want to make sure they're ready. And one of the ways of getting them ready is also to let them know that the parents response is irrelevant. Meaning you're you're not getting graded on a test and like how they respond is how well you did. It's not like that at all. And even though they're probably looking for like some outpouring of love, some parents aren't capable of that. And so it's important that you reiterate to them that the MST talk is not for their father or their mother. The MS talk is for them. And there, you know, sometimes they're nervous about kibava because this is going to be upsetting to their parent or their parents going to blame themselves. So there's never blame. Now they may blame themselves. That's not your problem. Your job was no blame. And so if you say things like because you always wanted to see me make it, you would always remind me about, you know, my financial stuff or or because you always wanted to see me as being you always reminded me about my Yiddish kite. And but it was only because you wanted the best for me. But because I was stuck in my inner negative beliefs, I wasn't able to hear it. I wasn't I shut myself off. I closed myself down. And now that person's taking full responsibility for their experience. You want to be you want them to be ready for that and and make sure they're really ready for their MS talk with their parent. There's also nothing wrong with them telling the person that they're doing their MS talk with. We're we're right now I'm talking consensus now is to let them know that they are excited to do this with them also because it's brand new and they were hoping that this person would be there for them in case they fell away from this possibility because they've, you know, been living differently all their life and now they're creating this new possibility that the person they're sharing with would be there for them if they needed a pickme up to go back to their possibility. What this does is it preempts the issue of I don't want to share this with them because I know I'm probably going to fall and now I'll feel like a fool, but they can actually tell them that I'll probably fall many times and I'm hoping that you'll be there for me. I mean, the whole point of the consensus are those are the people you're closest with. Those are the people you shouldn't have to be so protective with. You should be able to tell them that you had a fall in your possibilities and were wondering if they could pick you up. It's the same as having a beacon really only this person likely didn't do the possible you somatic healing. So the human body masks painful emotions with physical pain. That's a clog. Now, it's not that there aren't real physical things and people actually develop eventually real physical things, but most pain like headaches, backachches, stomach aches, things like that. And even eventually, God forbid actual physical uh things that would show up on a scan are somatic, meaning they're there to protect someone from feeling something. And the way you deal with them including headaches is that you talk to them because you know our nervous system is in the brain but it's also going down the spine and it's innervating innervating nerves innervating every part of the body if that's the biology or physiology. So that means that every part of the body could talk to the brain. Now there are lists of what every part of the body says but that's not rather what you do is you have them go to that part of the body they should close their eyes breathe go to that part of the body that's hurting and they should start by just giving it a shape they just give it a shape and once they can make up a shape sometimes they see it because they're very visual people but some people aren't very visual so just don't give it a shape and so once they give it a shape so and tell them that well that pain let's say it's in their back that pain that let's say triangle in your back or rectangle in your back is not the whole back it's just that spot. So give it a color in contrast to the rest of the back and then they'll usually give a darker color but they give a color to it. Uh, by the way, you can do the following is is for visual people. And how are you supposed to know if they're visual? But you ask them to have a light, a beautiful bright light pierce the top of their head and to move down their head into their body. And please scan your body for a place that's dark or a place that's tight or a place that's hurt you over the years. And you'll notice that it's not letting the light in. Okay, that helps them get the color that it's a darker color, whatever. So they get to that part of the body and give it a color and give it a size. What's the size of it? And once they have it, now they have the now they have a shape, they have a color, they have a size. And um by the way, if it's a headache, you say, "Where's it going now?" And it'll start moving around their head all around. And say, "Okay, where's it going now?" "Okay, what color is it now?" And it'll get lighter and lighter. And what what size is it now? It'll get smaller and smaller until they say it's gone. And obviously you can if it's in the temples you can press their hands here and you always ask permission to touch people. You don't you don't just touch people. You say, "Is it okay if I touch you?" And uh so you press here if it's in the temples, if it's in the rest of the head, if as far as place to touches right under the skull, you know, the meat on the back of the skull and then the front right under the nostrils, two fingers right under there, and you press them, eyes closed, breathing, keep holding there for about a minute, and then you let go at the exact same time. Their headache should be gone at that point. But anyway, let's say they're having stomach issues. So you give them a a give them a a a shape, a color, a size, and then you say, now ask it, are you protecting me from feeling something? If you're afraid they're going to fight it, so just say say they should say, thank you for protecting me from feeling something. But you can ask them, are you protecting me from feeling something? Yes or no? And so they say, are you protecting me from feeling something? And then it'll say yes. So now that part of the body is talking to them. Tell them to say, "Thank you for protecting me from feeling that." So they say, "Thank you for I'm feeling safe now because I'm doing work on myself and I'm really feeling safe to feel these things. So thank you for protecting me from feeling this till now. I'm ready to look inside." Okay? And then you ask it that part, that shape, that color. you say, "What are you protecting me from feeling?" It might try to bounce around a little bit, but eventually it's going to say um either one of the five fears or some inner negative belief. And so they'll say, "Well, I'm protecting you from feeling worthless." And then you say, "Okay, and let's go back to the first time you ever felt worthless and count them down 5 to one, drifting down to the first time they ever felt worthless." And it's usually in childhood. Ask them how old they are to begin with because you're going to have to count them up to that age. So count them down. Let's say he says he's 41. And you're like, "Okay, go down. Going back five through your 40 through your 30s. Three, sorry, five through your 30s. Four going through your 20s. Three through your teenage years down to your per mitzvah. Two going down into your childhood. One, are you indoors, outdoors, daytime, nighttime? How old are you approximately? Develop the scene. what's going on where this part of your body was feeling this pain this first time that it ever felt that it was worthless. And they'll go to some scene. It might be quite heavy. They might have to go through a really intense uh trauma of some sort, maybe uh you know, could have been an abuse situation, whatever. And just be there with them. And it's okay that they're going into it because it's when you voluntarily go into it. It's very different than when they went into it involuntarily. And have them go through the whole scene and then have them come as a 41y old. So you say, "Please take the 41year-old who's in this room and go back there and hold them and ask them if they believe in Hashem." And the little child usually says yes. They almost always say yes. But if they don't, so transmit to them there is Hashem. You know, it might be a Balu who was taught there is no God. So he'll believe there's no Hashem. So tell them there's Hashem. And then uh let him let the child feel Hashem's love. This is obviously after having a good cry. There should be a good cry there. But now you're telling them you believe in Hashem. Can they feel Hashem's love? And let the boy let the child feel Hashem's love until it's like a 10. till it gets to a 10. So fill it up till it's 10. When it's a 10, say yes. They say yes. And then whisper the word love. Love. And whisper it three more times. Love, love, love. And then you have them go to um security. So it's going to be love, security, harmony. So go to security. And that the boys should say and tell them like I I'm promising you're going to make it. I've come back to tell you you're going to make it. Hashem's got this. You're okay. You're going to be safe. And Let him feel the security until the security rises to a 10. When it gets to a 10, take your time. When it gets to a 10, say yes. Says yes. Then whisper the word security three more times. And then harmony. Harmony means hashkah is that this is all part of a plan. That because the word harmony in music means that these notes that are different notes when you put them together, they all are harmonious. It's like if you're standing this close to a painting, it's ugly. But if you look back, you see the harmony of the colors you were too close to. And the point is is that there's harmony to this. You were you were alive before you were this is a gil gold. This is stuff you had to go through. It's all part of a plan. It's okay. And anyway, feel the harmony until it's a 10. Say yes. And you say harmony harmony. Whisper three times. Harmony. And then ask the boy or ask the child if they'll come with you. The child says yes. And then you bring them up five uh sorry yeah five uh one back to five back to their 41 years. Bring them up one coming up two through your teenage years. Three into your 20s four into your 30s. Five till you're in this room again and the child is with you. And then redo the love, scarity, harmony with the three with whispering it three more times. Each time they say the word, three more times. Whisper. And now go to that spot on your whatever where wherever they were holding that worthless place, which let's say they were holding it in their stomach and it was o it was oval and it was black and say, "Okay, now turn that uh turn that black to light with love, security, and harmony." And when it's full, say yes. Yes. And then you count them out. You'll at 5 through 1, you'll open your eyes. Now, it's it's good to do that also with the rock, that oval black thing in the child's uh stomach to do that before you regress them out. So, they do love, security, harmony, turn it to light for the child. Then, will you come with me? Bring the child back to 41 years old to the adult life. and then do love screening harmony, turn it to light and then um bring them out there as well. Um this gets much more effective if you do breath work at the beginning and do progressive relaxation which means you relax their whole body by saying feel relaxation in your I start with the back of your shoulders. That was my training to your upper back to your lower midback to your lower back to your going down to your thighs to your knees. Feel each time you're saying feel the relaxation. You're getting um feel yourself get more relaxed. As the relaxation, keep using the word relax, relax, relax. And the relaxation's deepening as the relaxation moves its way to your toes. Feel the relaxation even deeper as the relaxation moves back up from your toes into your legs to your stomach. Stomach is usually fears. So any fears in your stomach are releasing as relaxation penetrates your stomach up to your chest. The relaxation chest is uh anxiety. Any anxiety you're holding your chest, it's releasing as the relaxation moves its way up to your shoulders, which is stress obligation. Any uh any obligations you're holding your shoulders are releasing now as relaxation moves in into your arms, your hands up, back to your shoulders, to back your neck. Any stress you're holding the back of your neck, it's relaxing. scalp is relaxed, your foreheads relaxed, your ears relaxed, your jaws relaxed, your tongues relaxed, and your mouth, your eyes relaxed, your sockets, your vocal cords are relaxed. You get them totally relaxed. And then you say, "Feel a wave of relaxation move its way from the top of your head down to your toes. They feel that wave." And I usually do on a count of three. On a count of three, then they feel the wave. They say on the count of three, feel the wave move back up as you move into a deeper state of relaxation. And then I count them from 10 to one. With each number, you'll get to a deeper and deeper state of relaxation until you get to one. And you'll be in a full state of relaxation. Coming down 10 deeper. 9 8 7 6 5 1. Okay. Now feel a light piercing your m your head. Look for the part of your body that's not allowing the light in. What part of your body's tight or hurting? So I understand that. I explained this a little backwards, but you can listen to this again and again and again and and be able to help people with uh healing those parts of their body and and the way we set it up, we just heal the body without an MS talk. But all of that is connected to heist talks because that inner negative belief is got a survival strategy and it's got impacts and and they can come to a possibility. You can do that in the meditation as well. regarding avoiding relationships. Unfortunately, in the, you know, therapy world, there's a lot of people who say like, "Oh, you should probably stay away from that relationship or you need space from your parents or whatever." In the possible you, we don't want space from anybody. You see, if there's a parent who's triggering you or a sibling that's triggering you or a person at work that's triggering triggering a person in the community, we're not looking to get rid of the trigger. They're the messenger. The trigger is me my messenger. What I want to do is do my inner work for what it's triggering. So, possibly you coaches are always working on what's getting triggered. And but we have as a principle in the possible you that families are together. In fact, we even encourage that family members do the possible you together. Even sons-in-laws with father-in-laws, uh, siblings, uh, mothers with daughters. The most beautiful seminars are when family members are actually doing it together and they're growing together. And they don't have to be kusas in the in the seminar. They don't have to be in the same breakout group. And if they really got to share something that they don't want their father to hear or their kid to hear, they can ask them to go out for a minute and and share it. But there's so little sharing in the posio anyway that there's no reason they shouldn't be there together. We believe that that our relationships are to be had, not to be avoided. And that's a rule. I mean, if you ever wanted to coach someone to tell them that they no longer need to be in contact with that person. So you would that's only with an okay from me meaning I would have to hear the scenario because I all I myself will figure out a way that we can do this without separating a family. We don't separate people we put people together and that's the words in the pos song is the person of your dreams coming into view. Nobody can take that dream away. Nobody can take away your possibilities. If you really have your possibilities and that person's so abusive, they'll just go abuse other people. But you're no longer a clickable. You're no longer a a a vessel, a receiver, a receptacle of that garbage. They'll go bother someone else. But we don't avoid family members. You can preempt this whole discussion of never separating from family members with the fact that it was a very European thing to uh just get angry at a sibling or get angry at a at a parent or something and cut off from that. That's considered normal in the European community. And no matter where you are right now, let's say you're in North America, you're in New York. The we're not Americans here. This is this is Europeans asserting or litish whatever European culture on America and so people think it's totally normal. There are even rebies that don't talk to their own siblings in the from community which is sheno you know it's all normal it's not normal possibly you coaches possibly leaders everyone having anything to do with the possibly you knows that that's not normal and that families are together and we are bridges we are bridging people back together and we do it with everything we got and if you make that the commitment it will go and The and also another thing, what if the person what if the parents actually abusive? What if the parents actually like a really terrible person and like belongs behind bars or something? So maybe then the kid can can separate. No, what you do is you give the parent rules. The parent has rules and you and so you tell the daughter, listen, you need to be in touch with your father. The problem is your father can't be trusted. So we're going to make rules. Let's say he can send one text a month, but he's got real rules. Meaning if he sends two texts a month or he tries to find out where you live or whatever, then you um then he's not allowed to be in touch for three months. So two texts means three months off. He'll keep it. Okay? And he may make a mistake and try to figure out where you live or something. He'll say, "I found out you're trying to find out where I live." That's three months off because we said that's one of the ground rules. And so you may be listening to this saying like, "What is a text a month?" Like that's really worth it. Ask the person. Ask the girl who's getting one text a month from her father. I promise you, she's waiting all month for it. And if you ask her how she feels now that she gets that one text, she'll tell you that she feels alive for the first time. And so any amount of contact, but no contact is not allowed. Even a little contact is a huge oxygen for your client. What'll happen is also because we're a European community is that people have a really hard time forgiving. They really can't forgive people. And here's the thing is that it's become part of their identity. Part of who I am is my resentment for so- and so for having hurt me, for wronging me, for whatever. And so people really like just say, "I can't forgive. I can't forgive." What they're really saying is, "I don't know who I would be if I forgive them." But who they would be is free. If you think about the word forgive, it means uh meaning forgiving is forgiving because you never want to give to someone you hate. You don't want to give to someone who you resent. So but if you forgive them then it's forgiving. Now you could actually gift for them. And uh forgiving is forgetting. Forgiving and forgetting is forgiving is you can now finally give and also now you can get u what you can get is free. you can get your life back. Uh there's a couple steps in helping people forgive. Um first is help them understand that this is an identity they've created and they're stuck on and they don't want to let go of. The other thing is that when you have resentment for someone, it's when you wish someone would die, but you drink the poison. And when you forgive somebody, it's when you set someone free. Sorry. When you forgive somebody, it's when you let someone out of jail only to realize that person was you. You're the one in jail. When you hold resentment, that person lives their life while you're just suffering. You're eating your heart out. And so, you spit the poison out. You just got to spit it out. That's poisoning you. Well, how do you do it? This person's not asking forgiveness. So, here is some of the steps to forgiveness is one of the things is that they are uh messed up. These are people are messed up. Like they if you knew their upbringing, if you watched them a film about their upbringing, you would totally fall in love with them watching the movie and then later you would see that they wound up harming you and you'd be like, "Oh gee, maybe I'm not going to forgive them." But if you didn't know who these people were and you saw their upbringing, you'd just be like, "Oh my gosh, this person's messed up." So that's the first thing. And it's called seeing the innocence. See their innocence. What do you mean they're not innocent? Look what they did to me. They are innocent because they were doing their best in their life. If everyone's doing their best, show me anyone not doing their best. Their best may be criminal. You know, maybe they belong behind bars, but that is their best. They're doing their best what they got, and that's their innocence. The um the next level is that you are um giving the forgiveness as a gift. See, normally someone asks forgiveness, you know, and they they humbled themselves and they said, "Please forgive me." And so you you forgive them. Here, no one's asking you for forgiveness. You're gifting the forgiveness. Why? Not because you love them so much, but because you love yourself. Like why do I have to why do I have to go through this? Like I'd rather just forgive them and let it go once and for all. And you can give them the prayer of forgiveness which is something like I forgive them. I let it go and I bless them to live a long happy life and may they have a refugee from whatever they've suffered in their life that's making them be hurtful to people. But I let it go. Then a deep breath just let it go. I'm done with it. I'm not carrying this pecula around. I'm not interested anymore. allowing people to really go deep when you're coaching them is going to happen because you're courageous. Like you're creating the space. You're holding the space for them. If you're afraid of the depth of what's going to come out of them, so they're they're going to be afraid of it. But if you're courageous and you go in there with the intention like whatever this person has to go through, I'm going to hold the space for them. Even if they have to like totally fall apart, even if they're going to be screaming on the floor shaking, so be it. Like, I will hold the space for this person wherever they go. That really creates a vibration of safety for them to release their pain, to release their stuff. I'm really excited to have you aboard in the coaching staff of the Possible You. We're creating a team that is going to ultimately help the Jewish people be who they're meant to be for the times of Msiah. There's no reason people have to walk around with all this pain. The possible you is a direct access to free yourself from all the stories that have been holding you back in your life. Like that's that's what we're doing. We're freeing those clients. but you play an essential role in facilitating that freedom for the individuals that do the seminar. So, thank you so much for being on the team. Let's work together and let's make a really big difference for everybody.