The Mirror of Tisha B’Av: “As Water Reflects the Face, So Does the Heart”

Today is the sixth of in the middle of the nine days that at the end of the week on Thursday we should be celebrating a yamov. If not then we have to go through again tishov. Let me give you I hope some words I hope of introduction and I hope he's overus before tishab from the loan wrote a commentary on the kish which is called the hamdo. In the beginning of safer berius he writes a hagda an introduction to safer beratious which is actually really an introduction to kat raula and he explains as follows. He asked begins with a question. He asked why is it that Sepha Bacius the first of the of the is called in Kazala it's a posican in reality it's talking about the and we know that the obvious wereim and also the righteous people and very pious people ask so why is it called why is it called the book of the right the book of the upright what's the reason for it and he explains as follows the Words comes from the following explanation. If you remember in parenu when in the middle of the sh it says says the is righteous and it's he explains as follows that the destruction the second temple it was correct. It was it was upright. It was a right thing to do. It was a yosha to do. Why explains the native as follows. In the time of the second basd they learned to they learned dafayomi they were careful of all the hum they kept shabas they certainly dab they did everything well but there was what's called sinam at the same time and then said how can it possibly be that there was something called sadikim and yes sadikim and the same time there was and in an awful way in a cat catastrophic way and therefore he explains us it was it was correct that a keshb who destroyed the basikdash for that reason and he explained what was the reason for the sin. The sin was based says in a tip on the following idea. Someone else is not necessarily like me. They were they were suspecting someone maybe who didn't keep the same maybe go to the same sh dress in the same way as they did and they suspected them as being maybe an apicos and a stouki was awful. Someone who's not like me therefore is not the same as me and therefore in that way there was and then says an awful comment a shocking comment. He says as follows. The almighty cannot stomach such people. People who keep the who who learned aomi who are careful of everything that they do in but they're not they're not straight. It can't possibly be. He doesn't he can't take sadikim like that. He can't take people who are sin asam who was mindless hatred at the same time. And and that was the reason for the destruction. And therefore it was Yosha it was correct to destroy the basikdosh. In other words that the personalities and the and individuals the oadoshim that we learn about in safer were all shim. They were straight. They were straight in their behavior. And then civ explains why they accepted people who they were. They recognized that each person was a talim an image of the almighty and they respected and honor them in the following way. Start with a mo. three dirty Arabs turned around and and came outside his door and it was on the third day after his brisk meal and it was a boiling hot day and he was in no way committed to commit the mitzvah of but he couldn't live without it so says Einstein he couldn't survive without it without doing and the says I remember used to make a beautiful comment here doesn't say he and he did a flying leap from the chair he was off he was running you know These words in the beginning of paras really are diamonds of courtesy. How to treat a guest, how to talk to them. And he said mahari and he told sorry to hurry up and there were three Arabs. How can you possibly because there were people and people who were who he could care for he would look after them. Incredible way. I remember reading about Levenstein asked a question. Why is it when a Minu bought the cave of Ma in order to bury Sorrow? He bowed down to him. But Minu knew that he was a mafia godfather. He knew what type of person he was. But he said in the following way, it's courtesy when you do business with somebody to show to them. You hear the point? In other words, whoever they were, at least he recognized who they were. He knew they were and they were the obvious were called Yeshim. Seafer Bacius is called because we're dealing with people who were they accepted people who they were. And therefore, the destruction of the bas was correct because even though they were they were not straight, they were not upright in their behavior. Remember the episode when Abrau begged to save but he knew they were Rashim. He knew they were evil people. What was the reason to pray for such people like that? The answer is because after all they were creatures of the Almighty and the Almighty doesn't want to destroy the world. Maybe there are 50, maybe there are 40. He went down to 10. Maybe there's some way we can possibly save them. Whatever happens, I must try to look after them as much as I can. Lo as well. Lo ran off and he was in danger and he ran up and and went to save him as well. The Oasis were straight. remember with Yeetszro when Aviamelik tried to abduct and and take Rifka and then afterwards he he came and made a treaty with Aimelik and and Yeitzv was quite prepared to make a treaty with him even though he treated his wife and tried to take her away and and entice her away from from remember Yakov also Lan was like a Yasa afat he was like a Kmeni he wanted to destroy everything Yakov had and yet afterwards when he came to him he made a deal with him and he accepted him the Oasisakosim accepted ed people who they were which was an incredible talent that they had and therefore seaf is called they wereim and sadikim and the reason for the basiktod was because as we know there was there was minor hatred and that's not the way it's supposed to be and really the nativ comes out with an incredible conclusion the almighty in order to settle his presence in the world meaning in the bdash there has to be what's called an acceptance and awareness of people who they were even though they might be bad to acknowledge that somebody called at meloim there and that was the reason for the destruction of the B mikdash as we know it was it was correct it was praiseworthy the mighty destroyed so says the of which really is the introduction to all of the as well they were straight the ocean were straight therefore we must look I suppose at the which we are in now at the moment we look about at our society and as you know as well as I I don't know if there's ever been such a period of such enmity and such confusion and such division in the society. It's awful. The media and the courts and it's one Jew against another Jew. It's imams are tragic circumstances that we see what's going on and we maybe we can turn man and sell I hope not. I hope the almighty doesn't turn man and say we learned we're careful about no but maybe in I don't know. I hope not. But maybe is saying saying what type of sadikim if there's division in clalis there's so much enmity and so much macas which is going on it's catastrophic no we've made tremendous leaps and bounds in affluence in communication in technology tremendous advancement but in some way we've regressed and gone back to the dark ages when it comes to human connection no recognizing people for who they were incredible situation here in Israel shalom I'm not trying to dra What's going on here in Cladis? The enmity, the fighting between this group and that group and the the which is going on. We must ask ourselves, are we following in the ways of the are we in our behavior? That must be a question we must ask ask what's happening here in our society. Let me take you back a little bit and show you. Has it always been like that? No, it has not always been like that in Clan. Let me share with you an episode I remember hearing from the washiva of the Mir in Flatbush of Ellia Bhnney Schlito one of the great washivas there. He told the following episode, listen to this to understand and appreciate what used to be in the olden times. Not so at olden times but years gone back in 1877 in the yeshiva inje who was nakman balik was involved in the scholar movement and was an influence on the other bhim. He'd been learning there for about six years and prime to a man who said we have to ask him to leave. He's not a good influence in the yeshiva. He was bringing his books into the yeshiva the house scholar of the of the reformation of different thoughts which was negra and thought he had to leave the yeshiva. It's not possible for him to stay. But beim said as follows if you're going to send him out of the yeshiva we must send him off a certain way. We must not throw him out. and he insisted on taking Balik to the train station when he went off and he tried to appease him and tried to to to to calm him down from his anger. Balik was upset but in the end appeased him and he got out of him an admit a commitment he asked Alik that he saw that his writing was very great very proficient please don't write anything which is disparaging against the am of against Bena this was request which asked him please don't write in your poetry anything which puts down the image of Ben he saw that this balik had as we know had a tremendous influence and this was the commitment which balik had given to solv Raich and he agreed to that. In 1977 100 years later there was a vote which was going on in the Knesset as to whether the yeshiva bim should be brought into the army like we have at the present time. No there was a tremendous discussion going on a debate and eventually after the debate whether we take them into the army or not there was one casting vote which had to be played. One person had to come in the vote and that vote was left to Mosha Diane. You remember the general in during the six day war Mosha Dian had to give the casting vote do we take the yeshiva bah women into the army or do we not take them into the army and believe it or not Mr. Diane voted against it he said we are not taking the shiva bah women and because of that in 1977 the whole bill collapsed and there was no order to take the yeshiva bahim to yeshiva a month or two later evidently Mr. Diane and Manakim began who was a prime minister made a trip to America. But Mosha Sher Levak who was the head of the Aura as you know asked to make a meeting in the house of Mosha Feinstein with all the good with Ravan I think with Rav Hutner and Ravakov Kamitki and they sat together they wanted to make a reception to thank Mosha Diane for what he had done. He had saved the Ola Matra and Mosha turned around to him at the at the reception asked him Mr. Diane, I'd like to ask you, please tell me why is it that you voted against the bill and protected the world of the yeshivas and Diane answered as follows. Listen to these words. Listen to the words. He said, I was brought up a completely a secular Jew in no connection to Judaism whatsoever. We ate on Yamipa. We did not eat cash. We nothing at all. No connection. I was brought up, I think he said, in a school called the Gininoa, in the Galile in a kibbutz. No connection whatsoever. But in the course of the studies we had to learn some of the poetry of Balik and there was one particular poem which Balik had written which was called Hamatmid the Masmid and it was about a person who learned to and in it balik described the enormous devotion and dedication and the hours which are put in to learning Torah by a bento and he said I read the poem and I wrote some sort of report about it. I was very taken about it. It wasn't my scene at all, but I recognized the importance of Tory in it. And therefore, when it came to the vote, I thought to myself as follows. This is what Mosha Diane said to a Mosha Feinstein. Answer to the question. I'll tell you why I voted against it. I did not want to be the one who breaks the whole tradition in the Jewish people. If there are these people who are sitting, if they're devoted to their Torah and they spend so much time all because of the poem which Balik had written, then I'm not going to vote against the taking the Baham into yeshiva. I'm going to vote against it. Hear the incredible point the unbelievable and wisdom which there was behind a prime he saw ahead no incredible of a prime he realized that the poems of bialik would be very very popular and and in in the in the hamo am in the people in the community and therefore because of the commitment which he had given because of that Diane was influenced by it he said I was very much I didn't want to be the one to shake the boat to ruin the whole of khalis of the tradition of kalisur this is what he had said I remember the briskov had once said that he himself has the ability to have a certain insight and foresight to a week or two two weeks ahead. He said my father could look ahead for a hundred years and you saw it. No, you saw it quite clearly. What a beautiful story it is. Meaning there was something called something which was sacraant in clalis the recognition and the importance and the respect for karate which was there at the time. It's interesting the basi who was a father of solvik once showed the writings and the kushim of his son prime tool salant. Soul Saland looked at what the pri had had written in tora his in tora his ideas in tora salad said as follows the writings of your son will save the world of toyra his writings will be very very great in in clisrael it will be the savior of clalism evidently um it was more than that what doic the son of the briskov had said when he heard that he said yes but he actually had the the also to save the olam of because of that in 1977 100 years later. So you see quite clearly it was not always like that in Khan is it was not like that. There was respect which was given for the world of Torah which is now who knows what's happening. It's almost like the dark ages know like the world of Torah the the seen like vermin inside what's going on here and there is in our society now we must recognize it something has to be corrected otherwise who knows maybe the will still say they're not like the I was thinking a little bit further maybe we can take it every day in davening three times a day we say the end of the first what will bring about the the the kindness of the if we follow in the ways of the if we are like them straight and accept people who they are then perhaps we will be able to see maybe go there will be a good we see it quite clearly and that is what we're really up against ourselves I think and there are all different types of people no Someone who's not practic someone who wears a kipasuga I don't someone who has long pairs someone who who dresses like a um I don't know whoever you are a kabadka what whatever you are doesn't there have to be a recognition of people who they are he's a kibbutnik whatever he is but he's a Jew that's the point which we have to recognize he's a mash we have to recognize people who they are and even if they're religious people as well so many people never had the opportunities that we had we Someone showed us how to keep shabas. Someone showed us how to learn to. And we have to recognize those people who didn't who never were told about Shay is who were never told about pesa. We have to have respect for them. They were Jewish people. It had enough in the six in the six million though. We lost so many of them. Isn't that why in Shayim they might turn around and say, "You're not like the other." I'm I hope I'm not making a too sweeping comment here, but we see what's happening here. this this hatred which is going on in in the communities from one Jew to another Jew we have to change this I'm suggesting this this is what the natsiv had said in his writing that's why it's called and that baboai is the introduction to katayula which we must recognize I remember hearing from the shiva in benbraiskio mishkovski had said at the time of the hesp when he had spade him forgian adelstein One of them was she was avich. He said as follows. Mishkovski had asked Gersian why is it that when Gersian was masped he made a feudal oation for Aaron Steinman. All he mentioned was his qualities and his abilities and his mileers. He never spoke about the great to which which Aaron had done and his in tow and how he developed yeshiva. He never spoke about that. But Mishkovski asked Rebian, why did you only speak about this comment of his importance of Gersian had answered and said as follows. The reason why is for one simple reason. I believe the reason why there is no Msiah and no is because of we're missing this point. There's still what's called sinasum inside we might beim and sadikim but there's sin there's a certain mindless hatred which is going on and gersian said this is what felt this was this was what the problem and therefore when I came to ges for ba and le this is what I mentioned because this to him was the most important thing at the moment of course limu and kashus and all the other mitzvah was of course vital but what's missing in our society what is holding up the gula felt was the lack of respect which of recognition were not like the other evidently therefore this year she I would like to suggest is something like you went into a dental surgery in the following way you know if you go to the dentist you might have what's called a shin on it he cleans up your teeth which is quite mild nothing very serious maybe have a filling maybe it's a little bit more serious if you really have a problem and you go to the dentist you have what's called root canal work root canal work tipple shish and I'm not talking about taking out your wisdom teeth. You need your wisdom teeth. You need your wisdom. But what happens when you have, if you ever had root canal work, they drill and drill down. It's a lot of drilling in order to get down to the roots. This she rais is drilling down. I want to go right to the heart of it. What is the problem of of sinam in our times? This is not a shar of of vortim of nice interesting points. It's not cosmetics. It's something much more fundamental. I would like to give lani my opinion why there is what's missing in this concept of sinam and go right to the root canal work and I'd like to give you if you would excuse me painful not painful but we're going to drill down and I hope go right to the point what is the problem in our society at the moment why is there this lack of respect even for people neb even orthodox people and people whoever their breast lovers whatever they are whoever they are we have to move along and change our mindset in how we look at people who are not the same as us, who was different in whatever way. There have always been differences in Khalis. Always the Shvatim, the TWI tribes inside, they were all different. Every chabet had different customs. There's always been differences. But not to respect somebody if they're not like me. That's what's missing here. The sin is based on this point of someone who's not like me, therefore I suspect him. And that's I think is the root cause. He's not like if he's not like me and therefore I I distrust him. I don't have respect for him. And even if it's an image, who know? They never had the opportunities that I had. There has to be this recognition of it. I would like to make the following suggestion. In the end of the 18th century, one of the great tidim who was actually the rov of Frankfurt was the Haflauhovitz. He was called the Haflau. He was one of the great Rabonim in in Europe at the time. He was the Frankfurt. At the same time, Vnosan Adler also had a basim. They were quite different communities. There was the Shiva of the Haflur. The Haflur wrote a famous perish also on Kdushin and he wrote a commentary also on the Kush which was called Ponyos as well. He wrote a commentary on it at the same time as from Nosanadler. He was a famous po. He asked the following question and I believe from this question we can build up a whole profile of how we can correct this problem of of Sinasam. He brought the following question. Do you remember in Batius when um when Rifka turned around and said to Yakov, "You're going to have to leave home and go and live with my brother lovatious." This is what Rifka said to her son. Listen to what I'm telling you, my son. Run away to my brother who lives in and you must stay with my brother Lavven for a few days until your your has stopped being angry with you until his anger calms down which he has towards you. Next sentence. Until your anger has calmed down and I will take you back until your anger also angers changes. Meaning as follows says the haflau we see here it wasn't just the hatred of Asov for Yakov but there was hatred of Yakov towards Asov. This was the problem here. The problem was that Jacob knew what type of person was. It's a kuess to him. Jacob distrusted disliked. He hated Asa for the way he behaved, his behavior, his immorality, his murder, his conduct. He hated Asa for what he was. Vivka saw that. He said, "It's not just Asov's anger for you, but it's your anger from your anger as well." Meaning as much as Asov disliked Yakov, Yakov also had the hatred for him as well. What's behind this point? What's behind this reference of Yakov's dislike for Asov? Maybe in the following way. There was someone who lived in Bagan here in Yaleim who was a famous famous uh Talmud who was actually a genius in Nevesh. His name was Hagma Hoffman. Rav Hoffman was a Talmid of Isaac Sherashodka. He learned in Yeshv and eventually he joined what they called the Saklugim, the clever kabur which Isaac Sher made together. He saw what had happened in Europe. He came from Sabodka. He came to live in Yalaim and he gathered a group of people together. They were also um uh the son of um uh the son-in-law of of um of Cutler Bell Schwartzman and also of Gdalia Eisman. There was a kabura of people who were close together and mahman was very close with this kabua and he was very much influenced by Isaac Sherbaksh gave him tremendous kus together. He became quite renowned in Israel amongst the of having tremendous understanding how to deal with people in their differences in their problems which they have. He knew how to understand people. The Kaz had tremendous affection for him. The ponovich the sapba also it's interesting that eisman who one of the mash in cultiva actually introduced him to shak and I think he was about 20 or 30 years younger thansh. Mshak used to ask him advice to Mahoffman exactly what to do in certain situations. So much so that when became the god lador the ponovich evidently every single weeksh would send his shamus is over to by the gan with a bundle of letters and asking of hoffman how do I answer these questions meaning he took advice from him. I remember once he turned up to asking a question difficulties how to deal with people how to handle people different situations they wanted him very much to be the mash of he refused he wanted to work with people on a private basis individual basis he helped a tremendous number of prisoners help them murderers and serial killers and and and ganovim and he helped people he had tremendous understanding it was a phenomenal I never knew knew him but I read a great deal about him. He had what's called I suppose the golden rule when it comes to relationships, human relation, social relationships. He had what's called he said there's one rule which we can't take from Schlom Mahame from King Solomon and that is the golden rule in any relationship between a husband and a wife how they relate together between a parent and a child. This is this one rule. The one rule applies with neighbors, with friends, with a rebber, with a talmid, whoever it is, any human relationship suits you have. There is one one which tells you exactly how it works. And the is in as you as a person looks into water as the water you walk inside the water and you see a reflection of yourself. So it is with a LA of a person. What you show towards somebody comes back towards you in the same way. You are what's called a mirror image. The lathe gives out emotions and feelings and as you are how it relates back to how you relate to somebody and that is the success in marriage. The success with a talid with a whatever you're dealing with people you show your heart your heart comes back. There's a beautiful rashy in your vom stuff. Kufy Z rashy. If you are mazby be upon him, if you show a beautiful face, a smile towards somebody, the smile comes back. If you are not mas be upon him, it doesn't come back. In the words of the it's called the the light which returns back. How you are in your complexion, how you are in your countenance, it comes back towards you as well in that way. And that is the fundamental rule which it comes in human relationships. And therefore we learn as follows. What happened was that Yakov disliked Asov for what he was. And that was a momentum for Asov hating Yakov as well. It developed and it would it galloped along and it went tremendous tremendous kayak. The hatred maybe began from Bakov to Asov and that's how it works. The kamayim is a lethal lethal tool when it comes to bad relationships. When people don't look at people with a certain countenance and the the wood is so incredibly fundamental it doesn't matter doesn't matter if you come from one end of the world to the other end of the world there's no difference between it you can't hide it there's no possible height you can't possibly be English you know they say by the English they can give you a big smile and put a dagger in your back behind it you can't the always comes out as you are inside your it comes out towards somebody else and that's the golden rule and you can be from one end of the world to the other end of the world. That's what Vifka was telling Jacob. Run away. Run away for one reason because until your anger and he his anger towards you and your anger towards him calms down. It has when it comes down then you can come back together and come home again. And that is the golden rule. It doesn't matter about distance. However far you are, the LA registers. You can be from one end of the world to the other end of the world, but the LA registers and it picks up and it gives out a certain if you are Mazby upon him. Even if you don't see the person, what comes out, the lathe gives out and it comes back again. Maybe we can give an example for it. I thought was thinking of it. Do you remember the episode when Lot's wife turned round and turned into a pillar of salt? When she turned around and looked into Storman, she was told not to turn around and she did turn around. Rashi explains the reason why, excuse me, the reason why she turned into a pill of salt is because she refused to give salt to the visitors. She was mean. She was miserly. The Rambans says a different reason why. She turned around and she looked to the Sturman. She could have been a thousand miles away. However far away she was, she lingered in her mind for those people, her her children, her daughters who were left in Sud. She wanted to be there. She was there but in her mind she was there in Stoman. The weather that moment in Stoman was gi was was sulfur and salt she turned into because however far you are you are she was there but she was here. It it it carries through the le is there and therefore she was connected to them. Even though you can be far away it doesn't make any difference at all. There's a connection and that's the reason says the Ramban why she turned into pills. She wanted to be there but she was over here. It made no difference between it if that's in the way it works with the punishment. There's a principle which mid to is more than mid. I remember I was just learning yesterday the other day in Kel I think the gamma brings out that how much more is the mid the quality of good more than the quality of 500 times more. Yeah. What that 500 times more more powerful. If that's the case, you can imagine how the quality of good is how how powerful how powerful it is. If the mid well if you pick up can you imagine if you give a heart over and you show a smile to somebody, it comes back again. That is the golden rule in social relationships that what you give comes back again. I'd like to make maybe a to it. I was thinking about it how it works. The shukar brings down as you know suppos supposeding wherever you are in the world you must face towards Jerusalem when you pray when you dab. Why do we face in the in the in the western hemisphere we face east towards misra in the north you face toward you maybe south wherever you are you face towards the brings down why should you face towards you he says as follows in the mishnab in simal in the you must think you are made in the kesh but I'm not I'm in Chicago I'm in Melbourne I'm in Paris I'm in London wherever you are but ku as if you are standing there but I'm not but that's the power of the le the is as if you are there it's not he's not hallucinating here is telling us when you're facing it's as if you are standing that's why we have to stand very still bow down with great respect who you standing in front of here the point is if you are standing there that's the quality here the quality is very very powerful behind is even greater than that and therefore the answer is towards how we composite possibly straighten ourselves out is it comes from us not from the other person. How you look at somebody so it comes back towards you. Let me show you another example which is brought out by the and hoffen explains this also in the following way. This I think raises the drilling when it comes to drilling down and looking deeper into the concept. There's one episode which I myself had tremendous problems always trying to every single year when it comes to the parisha when the brothers came down to mitzvahim and they never recognize yphoiki they didn't rec how could it possibly be that they didn't recognize yph and rashi explains because ysef now had a beard but it's still very hard no I could never I remember when I first came to hoff I remember having a discussion with a few tid there in shul after dabing and what's the reason why they said they But how can it possibly be? How can he not recognize it's a brother? Of course, you see somebody after 50 years, you of course you recognize them. How they talk, their eyes, the lathe picks up certain things and you recognize them. But how can it possibly that they didn't recognize him says the and brings this down as well. It was what happened as follows. The brothers in their mind thought of Yseph as someone a 70-year-old kid who was really an irresponsible child. He was a little like like an asob. He was like, he was a way off check. He was a he looked after his hair. That's why when they came down to Mits, they looked in the worst possible area in the most hopeless, disgusting places. And because that's who Yseph in their minds, Yseph was a write off. There's nothing to talk about with Ysef was nobody to deal with. In their minds, there was what's called a blockage like in a pipe. If there's a blockage in the pipe, the water cannot come through. In their minds, there was a mental block. They had written Yseph off completely. As much as they would look at him, it was not possible. I was thinking in reality, Yoseseph never really spoke to them. If you remember his son, his son Manasha would speak to them. But in reality, he never but he was there. He was looking at them. No, how can they not recognize him? Because in their minds they had written off Yoseph was a nobody. He was a kasadas, not somebody to be waited with. when he left and they put him inside the pit and then they sold him to to Medidion as as a slave. He was all right. He was a nobody. No, nobody to think of and that's what they thought of him. Looking at him in the face, there was no connection. The pipe was completely blocked. They never realized who he was. And that's probably one of the greatest problems I think means there was nothing coming through from them. There was no heart there since there was no heart. It can't possibly be cuz there was a blockage. There was no there was no can the le wasn't there the le wasn't therefore they never picked up this maybe could have been that's why they were overwhelmed they were over completely floundered when he said I need y it couldn't possib because in their mind he was never in king he's going to such this can't possibly be he was a write off in their minds that's the point which we're coming to here and therefore says the reason why the Americanized him because upon Okay, they never thought of him in that way. Rab boy, I'd like to ask you a personal question. You don't have to answer it, but think about it yourself. Did you ever write anybody off in your mind? Ever turn around and say that person is a nobody? Nobody. Do you ever do such a thing in your life? Let me tell you a mice that had happened to me. I remember I tell you what happened to me once and I remember this quite painfully. We had moved into a new area in New Shalim and I went to shul in the morning and I tried to get to know people in the shul and I went up to people after that said good morning pocket and there was one particular individual every time I said to him hello good morning he would go that's all just grunt and I I I thought what I'm trying to say hello to him and he would just grunt at me and just walk on I did it a few times afterwards and eventually I wrote above he was a nobody in my mind a person who just grunts someone says good morning to you after dabbling and I woke him off completely. By it came to judgment day. I was going to London to visit my mother in London Shalom. I was sitting on a plane and I as I was sitting on the plane I heard behind me the most incredible conversation, a father with a daughter. I realized it was a young child and he was singing Shabas with a girl. He was telling her stories and jokes and I I was listening to this man talking to his younger daughter and she was answering him and they were laughing together and I thought goodness me I felt terrible. I never in my life ever spoke to my children like he did. I got up and turned round. It was him. It was a gruntter. He was sitting there with his daughter was sitting on a chair and she had heavy irions on her legs. She was a clearly a very sick child and he gave me a tremendously big smile. He turned around to his daughter and says, "Oh, this is a friend of mine from Davenport." I thought to myself, I'm your friend. And he introduced me to her and I felt so terrible. I'm your friend. I'm not your friend. He then turned around to me and said to me, yes, we're going to London. I asked him, why are you going to London? He said to me as follows. We have to make a trip about every month or so to go to what's called the Great Orman Street Hospital, a hospital which is for children. And my child, my daughter needs help here. And and I thought to myself, my goodness me, I wrote him off so much. I felt terrible afterwards. I sat down in my seat and I was I felt awful afterwards. I realized who it was and I decided when I come home I must find out who this person was. When I came back to Israel after my trip, I inquired about who he was. Evidently, he was the most exemplary father you can possibly imagine. Nebi had a few children who were not well, not just this one. He was a fabulous father. He was an outstanding talum. He gave a few shirim inside the community. And I had written him off. And I suddenly realized to myself, you know why he probably grunts when he he has no kayak in him. I realized I was wrong. I was so wrong. I didn't realize. I didn't think I didn't give him this. I didn't give him that. I didn't give him that benefit. Maybe there was something more I didn't realize. And he was probably exhausted when he came to sh in the morning. All he could do was grunt looking after the children, preparing his shim. He learned day and night. He was a tremendous sadic. And I had written him off and I realized how wrong I was. Isn't that our problem? We often do that with people and the pipe is blocked. We don't allow boom on the pipe. We don't allow anything to come through. It's one of our problems. Let me share with you a magnificent medish which really describes this I suppose which is human nature but we have to correct it. If you have a chance look at the very last medish rabba in paras ves. It's a wonderful medish. The medus says as follows. You remember the chief butler did not remember and the med says he didn't remember said but I did not forget you I did not forget you the medus then says as follows whoever would have anticipated who are old age pensionists yen you would have written them off old age people they can't possibly have a child would you ever thought that me who ever would have thought that Yakov Aino when he crossed over the Jordan do you remember just for all he had with his stick he had nothing at all he gave everything away to Alif the son of B he had nothing at all and actually when he came back he was a multi-millionaire who would ever have thought that mim who ever would have thought whoever anticipated if you would have seen Ysef inside the ball with all the snakes and scorp and you were standing there you took a picture would you ever think that that person inside the ball would ever become the melit never would you ever think such a Would you have been by the river Nile and you watched Moshe inside the baby crib being that you know who that person's going to turn out to be? Whoever ant you write things off. You don't think it's possible. No, I think it's the same idea. There's a blockage. You you don't think it's possible. They suspected to be an illegitimate child. This woman who was a 40-year-old Moabitete convert who became the the the matriarch of monarchy and in times of what came out to be then the med ends off in a beautiful way whoever would anticipate this period of goddess which we're going through in the end is going to be you go to the alaxa mox eventually it's going to be disappeared completely there's going to be a new md we write things off. We don't see further. We can't see further. That's one of the problems we have. We dismiss things in our mind. I mean, I think with people, with circumstances, and that I think is a lesson of can I upon open up, be a little bit more open-minded. Don't be so closed in, especially when it comes to individuals. The last case study which I'd like to bring to you, I'd like to another drill which I like to put in. What does it mean? Kamay pony pon. Listen to this gamma. This is actually a me which I saw in the writings of if you want to look it up it's in parash in label on the para brings out the following gammor the gumar asks the question how do we know that maybe is maybe upsetting and hurting an animal is really min and the gumar brings the following situation what happens if you see a very close friend of yours a close friend, an of yours who is unloading his animal and that's called to help him out to unload his load, help the the the the donkey to unload everything out. That's maybe you should help him. And on the other side of the street is your your enemy who actually wants to load up the animal. Who should you help first? Do you help your friend or do you help the person who you people who you dislike? says the Gar even though might be a mitzvah it's better to push yourself and try and work with your and go and help your enemy first even though this person your friend is maybe the dismisses it then the brings down the following takes a bit further one minute how can you possibly it's a tophus I think infus brings out good gimmel I think but it's a to hate somebody how can you possibly hate somebody you hate somebody and you still have to go and hate him What's the hating? Tossk explains no. The reason why he decide because there is a reason he did something terrible. Maybe a doa el something which is im and there's a reason to hate him. Nevertheless, even maybe the other person on the other side of the stream is an odd god says the gam it's better still to help to help the person who you dislike and you hate. Why? The reason is because upon him if you dislike him he will dislike you and then you'll have it will grow and grow tremendously. says Peterburgger on that gam meaning you now go beyond the realms maybe you're you're allowed to hate somebody who has a do you're allowed to but when it comes to something which is which is a sinner sinner is like a malignant cancer there's no remission it just grows and grows and becomes worse and worse it fers inside the body inside the heart and it grows you go beyond even though it might be a mitzvah to help the person to to to help to to a mitzvah sorry to hate somebody else it makes a mitzvah because he This may be a washer but nevertheless says the forget about the go and help somebody who is your because that is much more important to overcome your midas says the person must always work on the mid why maybe that's the reason why you're alive just to work on the mid help somebody even though you might because it can build them in tremendous cancer of hatred the summ like that therefore It's all because of what happens is if you hate somebody then he hates you and it it goes right out of the mitzvah and now you're into the realms of of which is the worst possible thing he can't stomach people who behave in such a way that's the answer behind it and therefore from these cases of vifka from the brothers who never recognize Ysef we come out with a principle which hofman said is the basis of all human relationships It is as follows. Show a smile, show connection, show love towards somebody else. It will come back. And if not, you generate what's called a hatred which fers inside and it develops into a synagogam person. Whatever, he's not your community. He's not the same as you. Whatever it is, maybe he's a he's a Jew and we lost so many. No, there's no room for hatred in Khanis. There can be no room. That's the drilling which we have to reckon. Whoever he is and whatever he is, he's different from me. All right. I don't agree with the policy. I don't agree with his ideas. You should know something. Just a point of information. You should know the satire was fire against anybody to connect him with Zionism. Fire. He couldn't tolerate it. And yet everybody and anybody turned up his door for money. You could be the the leader of the misraim. You can believe the leader of all of all you would come up the door and the sati would give you money. Why? Because by him a Jew was a Jew. He was able to separate between the person and the the That's where we go wrong. We make a tremendous mistake. We put the two together because he has a certain policy which I don't agree with. Therefore, I hate the person. And that's a tragedy because a person has a certain sympathy. Maybe he's kabad, maybe he's breast, maybe he'sidish, maybe he's a kibbutnik. Whatever he is, whoever he is, he's not like me. That has to be dismissed. There's a person there. There's aim in front of you there. And that's how the care is. And this only comes out of kamayon upon him upon him. Once the lab is motivated then it becomes a little different. That's the drilling which I'd like to give. I remember I was once sitting at a wedding at a kasna in London and next to me was one of the rambon of the community his name shiman wangartenita in the community. I was sitting next to him and someone had got up to speak about the father of the kala and he was describing how the greatness of the father of the kal and he's very particular about all his mitzvah and very careful about coming to davining on time he's careful about his casual whatever and then he went off and said this person said as follows he's not a yker he's not a yker you know how yakkas behave how yuckers talk he's not a yaker he's just very careful about his mitzvah after he sat down by wa turned he said what are you talking about how can you talk about people like that a yaker why do you give a disparaging name about German people. What is this this description of a yaka and the way he spoke about them? You make fun of them. Don't make fun of another group. And Baba wine garden told him and said you don't make fun of another group of people. You don't do that in public. You don't do that in private. You don't talk about people like that. That's the point here. There has to be a recognition of who the person is. That's the point behind it. All I took that sahad so much. I remember when he told them that. I was listening to when he told him you don't talk like that. Don't talk about yeas or spaldim or whoever they are or there has to be a recognition of the celame and that's the the the root canal work which we have to recognize and even if he doesn't keep anything but he's Jewish he's Jewish whatever it is he never had the opportunities that we had no one ever showed him about shabas no one ever told him how to learn to no one ever told him how to put on he doesn't know he doesn't know and therefore there has to be a certain recognition that there's audim there that's what we have to work on and that I think is what the niv when He said that there has to be this recognition of who the person is if there isn't like that yesterday was a the fifth of a which is the y site of the Arizal I'd like to share with you an episode which happened since it's the yacht site of the Arizal something would happen in the Arizal the Arizal lived as in the 1500s something like that it's interesting how he used to teach his talidim the Ariza used to hardly He he didn't sit so much in the B major with his T. He made a Kabur of people around him and taught them Kabala and tremendous secrets of mysticism and Kabala and they walked towards me all the time and they used to stop at the Kevo. They used to stop at a place called the Idra Vidra Rabba where would teach all his talim and the knew where the sit sat where was his tal and he would teach them in that way. But the Aizel said that his mission in life he had three points to his existence. He knew exactly why. He said the reason why I've been born and come into this community is as follows. I must give over all my knowledge to was a famous talid. My mission is to give over all the secrets of Kabala that I know to and to make people aware of the depth of secondly I have responsibility to encourage people to be more careful with to mitzvah. And thirdly, I must make people aware of the spark of the amuna for the Msiah will come soon. But he said nothing will work in my tidim unless all the kabur he had a small group of people who he taught who taught them all the secrets of kabala unless there is complete shalom and a love and peace and well-being in the talum and he insisted on that nothing will work nothing were given over if there's any contra any m everything collapses it's not worth me teaching anybody in other words he taught everything over to that he knew but nevertheless he said you as a group together my talim you have to stay together with love and affection and always dab for each other in the best possible way. But heayim it came out the one day there was a plague in the gal. I think it was in the 1570 there was an awful plague and people were dying in a terrible terrible situation. The Arizal found a courtyard where all his tamed and their families could come together and live together. So they would stay together and not mix in society because the plague was so de devastating. It was terrible. And they all lived together in this this community together in a courtyard and they were careful of the plague. It happened one air of Shabas that two women had an argument with each other inside the courtyard. The husbands got involved and it became a major mus inside the courtyard of these two families together. It was of Shabas the Arizal then went to Makab Shabas. As you know, if you ever go to Tafas, there's the Arisa where the Aris is now is the place, the field where they used to go out to Mimikabul Shabas. They went out to Mimikab Shabas and afterwards they came back into the shimal saw that the Arizal had a very long face and was very down. He never ever looked like that on Shabas. He always looked tremendous joy and simra the on Shabas. He asked him, "Revy, what is wrong? What is disturbing you?" And the Arisa turned around to him and said as follows. I heard I met the Malakamovis and the Malakamov told me that I must die now. There's no there's no way I can live any longer now. Why? There was a Gazadin made against us and the Gazadin could have been changed. But because there was a Mus in the courtyard therefore there's no way you can survive anymore. On Moshes a became sick and he died on the 5th of Ab. He was 38 years old. tragedy when we lost the he was opening up all the toy all the cabal all the secrets of the he died at that age and the reason why he died so young he said he knew because there was a mus nothing works nothing passed over nothing can survive if there's mus that's the problem here it's a beautiful story what happened here with the how careful we have to be of scholam and avoid mkas inside the community I remember reading a beautiful story about the alter from kelm the alter from kelm was when he used to walk around the town. Kel was a small little town, little village. He walk around with with some of the rabbon and some of his people and he would meet a wagon driver. He would go over to wagon drive. What a wonderful horse you have. In the middle of talking to his horse looked the legs look very good, very strong. I hope you have great success. In the middle of talking in to he would talk to the wagon driver and give him a ba and they gave a broker. You hear that? The connection he made with people. The connection the altar was so careful about the the human touch. You know that the the the relationship between the two of them. The great was once sitting on the head table with another wash famous. As he was sitting there they say uh baka came over to him with long hair and a t-shirt and started talking and stopped to talk to him for about five minutes. After he left the other basha turned around and said to him why do you spend your time? These are your talidim. These are people you bring into your yeshiva. since we turned to him and said as follows. I have a mas from my to accept everybody. If I would have looked at him if like you look looking at him if someone looked at me like you looked at this baka he said I would never be sitting there here today with you today. I had never look at me like that. I think when he came into the mirror he was wearing a baseball cap and accepted him in that way. He said if my rebers would have looked at me like you're looking at him I would never be sitting today as a mash of mir today. You hear the point? The point is how you accept people to give a smile. If your mazby be upon him the o is it comes back again from one to another. That's the connection between the two of them. Let me finish rabbi say it's been a long year. Let me share with you a beautiful gamma which ra Hoffman used to bring. I remember reading in his writings as follows. There's a gamma in the gador dapes on the base. The Gwa brings down a beautiful episode of Shiman Hatsadi. Shiman had said it was the coin god. The god lador the god lador in the basa mikdash. One day he saw a baka walking through the basa mikdosh and with beautiful long hair and he was a nausea beautiful long hair. He turned around him and said as follows. The god lador the kind god turn around and said beni. He hear the words beni my son. Why are you why are you cutting such beautiful hair that you had? You hear we would turn around and say a You know someone like that walked into a metric. What's he doing here? This the Beni Why are you cutting your beautiful hair? And the boy turned around and said, "I'll tell you what happened. I was working for my father in the fields." And I looked at my reflection inside the water and I saw a beautiful person. I decided I'm going to become a nausea and cut my hair so I don't get caught out by my yet. Shim haz go gave him a kiss and said as follows, I'm going to eat your carbonas of a nazu. When nausea brings cob on us very often never ate from a cobb of the no why because he was maybe he was careless but such a person he said I will eat from your cob here I he was mabling no the beautiful way of being mab somebody else the co god the god talks to a person with long hair ask him my dear son beni such a beautiful expression no it's how you accept people how you work with people if you're imagine tremendous which the boy must have had otherwise it would just been sent aside and put aside. No, isn't that the point here between it all? I remember once explained in the beautiful way after Jacob had been studying Tory for so many years in he came to the well he turned around to the sheb says my brothers how does he know how to say my brothers how you talk to people the opening line know the welcoming the beautiful thought behind it allai I would like to suggest that is our voyor of tipple shish of root canal work we have to it's not them it's us we have the fault insiders we have to not have a right not write people off not to commit people not like I did with the gr not to be like me to be accept people to mind him then the heart opens up if we are mas be upon him says then the mazby upon him comes back as we offer to people that's what was telling yakov you your anger it's not his anger it's your anger to y to which you have that's the point behind it all to learn the mness of what the niv is saying maybe then we going to ask if we can act like the they were they were they were straight. They accepted people who they were. They recognized that and that is our whoever they are and whatever they are. If we can promote this instead of the should have on us and bring us the gurim, we should have an easy fast, a meaningful fast and we should hear good news bes. Israel cult.