Purim and Jewish Unity - Rabbi Doniel Katz

I'm heading to America next week for a tour when they say this is Daniel cats from Jerusalem it sounds much more impressive when I say to you it's Daniel cat from Jerusalem is just down the street this much less exciting you can say Daniel cat from Australia that's where I come from in a past life in the same body um that's the accent that was that where's the accent I have a geographically challenged accent put it all it's a chalant of accents it's uh theoretically it's Australian as long as you're not Australian then you you know it isn't but that's kind of how it works that's a Blackberry people still have blackberries that's great um no offense to whoever that was um PM is coming up as you all know well invited me to come and to say a few words to you all on the subject of poem now PM is a very um wide topic a very deep topic there's a tremendous amount to say on the subject and uh you know 60 Minutes is not so long to really say anything especially for me I'm I'm known to speak for lot a lot longer periods of time so we're going to take one little point if we can with the limited time we have to make the most of it I thought I'd talk about shalak Manus which is uh which is much more than just wrapping a couple of edible you know bits of wine or lures or couple pieces of fuit or some chips the rest of us we know and we wrap it in some colored plastic and we pass it on and we can take that little bottle of wine and put in the fridge and let it sit there for you and we can take it out and put in someone else's sh mullets and send it off it's a Minh we've been doing that for nearly 3,000 years now probably the same bottle of wine perhaps for 3,000 years as it says in the mill Esa the sending of gifts between each between a person and another person between a Jew and the brothers and sisters there's a tremendous amount of depth that that we can discuss here and that we need to focus on especially in a time I'm a bit um cautious to say of such political turmoil no I'm sorry in in in the greater part of Cl is but everything exists in the CL exists in in the Pratt as well and these are not these are not fine days for after and AIS Isel unfortunately i' like to tell you differently um so it behooves us it's one of those rical things to say it behooves us a little to maybe discuss a little Aus little AA between one Jew and another between all human beings ultimately because that that's what the goal of shalak Manus is it's supposed to be a mechanism that awakens us to see the world in a different way to see our brothers and sisters in a different way as is the rush of the day we're busily wrapping these things up and putting you know little things on them and little you know to our neighbors and running them over to the neighbors then taking them from the neighbors and giving them to another neighbor and all these kind of stuff so but the Challen challenge is thank God you can get so overwhelmed with these things you kind of miss the heart and miss the soul of them so perhaps we can just refocus our minds on the heart of the soul of the matter and I'm going to go a long way around to do this I I I don't know all of you and I know every different soul is different every different soul responds to a different thing whether you're religious secular whatever those Rel religious ridiculous terms mean um so I'm going to throw out something a little deeper I don't know if you like learning deep things it's a little cabala it's a little pemus of the depth of Torah and and maybe some people respond I find that we're all different on the outside but on the inside there's a United connection and I find that Torah speaks to different people but when you speak from the inner part of Torah that's the place where we all connect to which is really the subject for the class anyway so let me begin here when hon the wicked hon approaches the king with his not so nice plan which is to do the Jewish people for all time there's this one nation who is scattered and dispersed if you want to translate them that way amongst all the nations and he goes on to say these are the people for you know what's $10,000 between friends why don't we take care of them right now and they techic basic meaning of this term Ma and ma means that they're scattered the Jewish people aren't in their Homeland they're all over the place they're all over the 127 kingdoms that uh this Mala was ruling but the the deeper idea that all the mystics discuss is this term there is one nation who are scattered and dispersed now obviously the implication of there's a nation that's scattered and dispersed is there is a nation that's scattered what do you mean there's one nation if there's many nations scatter dispersed well they're not scattered and dispersed there's a sense of unity that is scattered and dispersed now that Mahal and basically every other mystical text discusses this idea on a deeper level or or these patterns these themes on the deeper level which the hint is is what made us vulnerable to the attack those people that don't like us those people out to get us is the fact that we were scattered and dispersed amongst ourselves the fact that we were fragmented as a people it's only when we are fragmented as a people we are we are not just we are one nation One Nation as opposed to two Nations how many nations would you expect us to be We're a nation whose property is Unity whose power and strength his K is Unity but right now we are not in a place of our strength the mystics all say the definition of exile the moral discusses this is that when something which is inherently whole gets fragmented and shattered even Exel of our Consciousness Exel is a person who has a low self-esteem a person who's not functioning to their full capacity in life because they have fears and they have doubts and they confusion their mind they have emotional desires physical desires lust and they are fragmented within themselves even though they have a vision I I want to be doing this with my morning I have to get the assignment done by the end of the day I have to get the project finished but I get distracted and I get confused and I feel guilty then I lie about it and I receive and I'm fragmented within myself so I cannot receive my True strength I cannot produce and and and act according to my true inner sense of unity because I'm scattered and fragmented Within Myself and what happens within the prod within the individual happens within the nation when we are unified as a people and you don't have to believe in God you don't have to believe in Torah to get this you just have to look at history and even thank God recent history there's very little we can't achieve as a people when we are divisive and divided amongst ourselves every kind of opportunity the mystics say the spiritual blessing comes to the Jewish people when they're at a p a place of schamess of Peace of unity and every blessing opportunity can come to us we lose capacity to connect to that to get benefit from that when we're arguing amongst ourselves as as the mid says Hashem will bless his people with peace but there's two ways to read that as the mid indicates there's Hashem bless the Jewish people with peace so we love each other so we respect each other or there's another way to read it which is the deeper way the mystics read that we will be blessed with every opportunity with every goodness when we are in a state of Peace because peace comes from the word which is shalom shalom which comes to the root shal which means whole and complete if you have a box that you want to pick something up with but that box is is lacking the bottom or lacking one of the walls and the box is basically useless sha means that every single one of us is acknowledged every single one of us is valued all the different hashas and philosophies all the different paths within the religion within the religious and secular every person's own contribution is there and together that's AIC together that can hold something much more greater than the sum of its parts the gar the Tad says a famous line a famous is discussing all the different ways you could read we have an obligation to hear every single word of the Milla and the says if a person has to read every word what if I had all the words back to front you haven't fulfilled your mid of hearing the Milla the B spins the words and says if a person reads the M as in something that happened a long time ago you think this is a historical story in his story in history Yi you didn't get it what happened then is happening now the people out to get us and you can think who are those people out to get us and this could be a political discussion right all all the people around us and all the different countries it could be the people you know people are coming to get us in our own life that we feel are giving us hard times or difficulties it can be all the challenges coming if we don't realize that we have to realize let me reframe it that what's happening in our lives today the Jewish people as much as we want to blame all the politics and all the governments or whatever is because we are not in a state of Schamus of completion of wholeness of unity together we are today in we are today divided and today if we could learn to unify if we learn to respect each other have gratitude for each other's contribution then we could turn around our enemies on this on the spot the my said we wouldn't even have to touch our enemies we wouldn't need a clever YouTube video rebranding Israel we wouldn't need to get out and have a better presence on campus we wouldn't need know some cool article in a business review saying look at these great you know Jewish people in Israel look at the kidish AEM they're making out of the world maybe we have to stop hating them and start allowing right would just their enemies would fall away but for that to it's much easier to make a YouTube video than get us all together talking respectfully isn't it let's put like $2,000 into a nice video rather than getting for us together and not you know tear each other apart so that's what I want to discuss a little today I want to talk about the M of loving Jews and you're going to see it's very very deep if I can say something a little deeper than than you may have heard before on the subject I want to talk about Jewish Unity though I'm fully aware if we begin this discussion together there's probably no subject which is more redundant than Jewish Unity hands up if you all think Jewish Unity is a wonderful thing you'd like to see it happen in the world great well my work here is done let's sing shirala swch whatever what a convincing speaker I am it took me 6 minutes they all their hands are in the the problem is there's no issue in the world that we have more cognitive dissonance to than Jewish Unity it's something we'll write on our Facebook blog after which we go look at those and look at those secular and look at those this and then we all start attacking each other so I I I want to try and work a little together if we can about what's keeping us apart in a deeper sense not the things we usually blame the things with we that are really really motivating our difference on our incapacity to accept each other to embrace each other to support each other to understand each other to respect each other every Jew has so many complaints about every other Jew the easiest line is the versus the the non see how I frame that it's a very perception isn't it want to get that in there everybody else whoever they may be I don't actually know all I know is my gar what's happening over there know they're non right so there's a religious versus a secular and then you know there's ones that learn and there's ones that fight and there's ones that work and what everyone else is doing with the time I don't know but I'm learning and then you know in religious world so we have you know the holy people like me with a a hat up at the front I this is your hat sir your Hat's down NE on you okay one day you'll see the light and my hat will go up right you're still thinking I'm thinking Shay that's that's the de but you and I get along right you know why we get along do you see the rim around the tip of his Kipper you see that he's one of me but this guy what's his problem hetic okay okay so you know we're the rim people you and me buddy okay just keep the pach away from I know what he's going to do he's going to put pork chop in your food watch out for this guy okay watch out for this guy now this guy at least he's black black hipper so we're all together but this guy I don't know what's going on here something happened to a car wash a bleach accident one you'll be as holy as me and the indicator will be this Rim around your velvety black ker let's focus on what matters shall we okay now God forers person would have no Kipper because then they have no soul you know they're directly aligned I saw it under zoha online or something like that I don't know zoho.com um the source of everything I know it's a bunch of YouTube videos by some witch who also L the z um so so this is the problem and the are like these hats are up and these hats are down at least you don't wear a fairy hat and you know the lfxs were all nice litx at least we're not the the LX at least they're not and the the LX they unite together not liking theik right there's one things in common nobody likes the kandic but the kandic like everybody as long as every is going to beanik but if they're not going to Bean but at least we don't wear white kippers thank the good Lord we were saved by that but at least all of us that wear white kippers we wear kippers and the secular people then we have a whole bunch of them right we've got Kadima and we've got I don't know those are the things I'm so I don't even know what happens out there right they sit on the beach and eat pork I don't know what they do with their days so it's it's crazy it's a joke and we're laughing CU it's silly but we also kind of know it's it's everywhere and we also kind of know it's it's awful and in every every organization every Yesa our Yesa is the best versus they our organization right you're the best you're the best right but other organizations in every organization we have complaints and ERS against everyone else in the room I'm sure you have people in this company which you know are evil and you are the right good ones but everyone do this just do me a favor just lift up your hand in the in the air for one second LIF just to prove the point how we all carry these gripes lift up your hands please thank thank you for the high level participation on the counter three I just want you to point to the person in the room that you don't like one two Sammy doesn't have enough fingers that's his problem now what a ridiculous thing to do but you know there's probably someone you can point to besides me right because we carry it seems to be the nature of humanity and the nature of Jews especially that we carry these gbes with us and they they do destroy companies and they destroy organizations and they destroy yeshivas and they destroy countries and and they destroy Nations because because then hum can get us then we become vulnerable they destroy ourselves because as parts of ourselves my anger it's angry at my fear always letting me down and I'm I'm ticked off of myself because of my low self-esteem and I te at myself I spend most of my days trying to help people that are world with themselves forget about the environment around them so what we have to do is learn about this thing called sin baseless hatred you've heard about this thing before Basil's hatred destroyed the Bas of mikdash the Bas of mdash was the capacity for the world to live in a state of connection of revelation of truth of Integrity for every person around the world and we wipe that out because sin now how do you translate this word sin does everyone have a translation for this free hatred how much is the hater there I'm get you a good race today it's free okay it's a so it's usually translated as baseless hatred hating somebody for no reason now I think this is very funny I'm not quite sure what our sages were teaching us about this thing called baseless hatred nobody hates anyone for no reason I'm sure anyone you hate you've got many many reasons why you hate them I'm sure you can write a long list of why you hate those people that you hate in fact I'm sure you constantly have a list running in your head let me tell you what they did to me today so what were our sages saying based that hatred as a problem there's no such thing who hates someone for no reason in fact the way the yaha works is when you hate some you start generating reasons when your spouse annoys you you start writing in your head list and doing kazara constantly on that list to make sure I'm holding Cup in all those all those things that she did over the last 27 years in our life let's run with you see to this it was our fourth night of marriage and she didn't make like the steak High I like medium she didn't make it let's go over that one more time right so so what do you mean baseless hatred baseless hatred nobody has baseless hatred what I say to say BAS hated I'm saying for sure something very obvious now but it still needs to be spoken out baseless hatred doesn't mean that you hate somebody for no reason nobody hates somebody for no reason the secular people don't hate the for no reason the don't hate the secular people for no reason the nature is when we hate someone we generate reasons we think the reason we don't like them is because of the reasons the secret that the S say is we actually generate the reasons CU we already didn't like we already carried that fear chicken or the egg what baseless hatred means is not that you hate that person for no reason baseless hatred means the reason that you think is a reason is not a reason to hate them right Bas hatred think all those reasons and I don't care if your reasons are quote unquote religious reasons but it's a mitz forisa to hate those Jews look how I'm justifying my anger and my catness even then my friends that is baseless there's never a reason to hate another Jew even if they're doing the worst things you can hate their action right you can disagree philosophically that's okay but the second that you feel resentfulness bitterness hate then you know you've crossed a line and you've disconnected from the truth and you're breaking the Shalom and you're cutting out the Shina from the world and the blessing from our lives so I want to talk about the ticken to understand the solution to understand the source of baseless hatred within us let's be a little solution focused to understand the solution we have to focus on the Mitzvah the B always says that when a person has an issue with a certain sin a certain negative destructive action way of thinking way of feeling way of speaking and way of doing in this world that's disconnecting them from God that's disconnecting them from their soul that's disconnecting them from their own Integrity what a person needs to do is find the PK the line in the Torah that speaks about that and and speak that out to themselves if you're feeling angry towards another Jew you find the line that is the Mitra not to do that and you say and and I don't want to go into it now gets into very spiritual weird stuff the line itself has an energy the words themselves have an energy that empow you not to do it but let's just stay in the realm of psychology of things we can understand and relate to without scientific pragmatic Minds The bam TB says that every line has within it line has with it all the secrets you need you need to know to empower you in a compelling way to fulfill that Mitzvah so if we want to get over our baseless hatred what's the what's the line of the Torah that commanders us to love each other rather than hate each other here we go this one work let's stick with a mark you can see so here is the line the have do you mind we just playing in this room everyone heard this line before and you should love not your neighbor right that would be you should love your your brethren your brother your sister like yourself so I want to spend 30 minutes discussing this line and I want to show you something really really deep and profound something you may have never noticed before cuz within this line this is when when I found was starting to Lear over for the first time I was uh when I was 26 27 I had like no Jewish friends no Jewish connection at all um now I'm 28 and look at me today it's been a very intense Year let me tell you how are the hair extensions doing and good right you read that article they just that's what they're doing now all the cool kids are doing it so uh they just Unleashed me from H this morning you're all going to be ultra Orthodox by the end of the class here we go then I get a bonus or something so here we go I'm going to show you something very very beautiful it's hidden in this line not only is this God's dogmatic Mitzvah everybody shut up and get over your fear and just love Jews okay so there's the Commandment okay we know what we have to do but God that's not so easy it's not so easy we don't because they're such an idiot that's why it's not so easy I'm a stic but you've got problems and that's why I can't love you no so first of all is the Commandment here's the Dogma you have to do that that's what you have to do get over it take responsibility for yourself you have to do it but why can't I do it to HD in this line is not just the the mid for to do it one but two is is the secret psychologically of what stops you from doing that as you're about to see and then the Brilliance and the genius of the pic of the line is is the third level it's going to show you the secret of how to get around the psychological trick to overcome that and that's all hidden these three words but we're only going to discover that if we can if we can deconstruct these words and understand each word and what it contribution is here so that's what I want to do with you over the next four and a half hours so let's begin now what you think we gave you all that pizza um so let's start the most obvious question the most obvious question it means what does it mean you should love your your brethren like yourself this is the easy one okay like just I want to just say love Jews don't argue with Jews don't yell at Jews don't complain against Je love juice don't make negative posts about them love juice what does it mean like yourself does anyone know what's chat what's the basic explanation anyone know anything interesting to say a women allowed to speak of the company that's that's M don't want to be too confronting any of the men in the room is that a question it's okay is that a true question yes I'm testing how religious you are all I'll have to hate you just ignore that whole thing conveniently on the board good and would anyone know what's what's Chad and you should love them like yourself anybody anybody bu yes sir what's that love yourself first love yourself that's a bit ambitious can we have any other offers in the room I really think that's true I think a lot of people say I do like other people as much as I like myself I hate myself and I hate other people therefore I fulfilled the tah commandment I think that's how most people live actually yes so the qua or two of them see women work together that's the problem men always divided the women like holding each other yes sorry nothing have a niess for us no you go first no you go first that's that's why we like wom yes and to treat others how you for yourself to treat others how you treat yourself how you would want yourself to be treat like you want what were you going to say ma'am we tend to excuse ourselves when we make mistakes and we should offer that kind of to other people we're forgiving of ourselves if only we're forgiving other people right so these are all beautiful and true the SW and the IB Ezra say like this young lady was saying as well um which it means that you should basically want as much good for another person as you want for yourself that's already heavy example a it was that last pizza in there on the room right and out comes that person who's like running to get the pizza and you reach forward and grab it right so you already had seven but you really need it right now and she's like I bet she's like standing there starving skinny right just like she's dragged herself over the table she hasn't eaten since breakfast she's famished right she's like just one more I'm sorry I'm can't now you would like so someone to save you that pizza but you can't save it for them it's very hard to really want good for another person as much as you want it for yourself you know when it's your son's B Mitzvah your your children's and you're so happy and you know other people are happy but other people like this is the second wedding I've had to go to this week and I kind of walk into the wedding clock in say mazl clock up walk out but but it's very very hard to truly be as happy for somebody else as you can for yourself that takes a lot of work but that's that's the basic idea of what that involves and that's a discussion unto itself but we don't have to spend our time on chat we have desla goes a little deeper this is not the interesting thing but we have to build the foundations with desla says the secret of like yourself is the following thing he says listen carefully because this is the beginning of something a little deeper he says there's one love that we have in the world which is an inherent love that we don't need to work on there's one person in the world that we truly love more than anyone else who is that what's that yourself just a me you love me that's very beautiful Yu there's one person you inherently love in the world I appreciate that shout out U that is ourselves that's ourselves right even people that kill themselves someone they don't love themselves the the truth is psychologically they kill themselves to stop the pain they kill themselves because life is miserable therefore they see that they're doing a beneficial act to themselves an act of relief an act of benefit because they're still watching out for themselves soes says the secret of this line is you the secret of this line is you take the one fundamental thing love that you have like yourself and you leverage your self-love to learn to love other people how do you do that so this fits in quite well with PM rla says you give them presents you give them gifts it doesn't have to be Hally speaking two food products that are immediately edible but it means giving and investing in another human being this is how he describes it it works it's kind of interesting to think about for a second before we drop in and go into the the real deep stuff he says the following thing he says the primary love that you have is for yourself now if you see a person over there that's lacking he didn't get the extra piece of pizza and you walk up and give him the pizza and then that person is happy you can't help psychologically but go their happiness came from me that person's alone and your M you have kids and that person's alone and they're dating for years but they they can't find it and no one's appreciating their loneliness no one's appreciating their struggle but then you help them make a and you work really hard you make some calls and the degree that you invest in it you investing yourself in them and when you invest s in them then their success becomes an extension of your success so he says love them like yourself by Levering leveraging your selflove to build another person to build somebody else and then you will begin to love them you always begin to love that which you invest in love flows in the direction of giving it's the true with any Sho you've ever been a part of any organization it's some true know and good management I'm sure as they do here they allow you to invest your own Crea it your own Excellence into the business place and then you feel more passionate more connected to the vision of the company what you invest yourself in is what you'll see as an extension of yourself and you will begin to naturally care for the problem is the more that someone annoys us the more we isolate ourselves from them and therefore the less we care but Desa says you can turn around with a practical example find somebody that needs something open your eyes who in this company do you know is in need of something I don't just mean a new microwave a new fidge a new car right a gift wrap something get this person an iPhone it's 2014 right but it doesn't just mean something practical but it can mean something that they need a nice word some happiness they need a pat on the back they need some encouragement they need someone to believe in them when you give to another person you share a little of yourself in that person and you begin to expand the nature of yourself through giving comes love everybody knows the root of the word a is the letters hey and Bas hey and Bas in Aramaic come from the root root have have means to give the root of the word a comes from giving that which you invest in Who Do You Love in the world more than anyone is your children and they're the people you give and invest everything in if there's someone you don't like think about it now I don't want to Mo any denim within you but think about it a little even in this room right now someone's a little challenging to get along with what do they need I'm sure you're going to say a slap on the face maybe but that's that's our fear talking our anger talking now look with a deeper part of your being what could you contribute how could you share with them what could you open up to them it shifts you love flows in the direction of giving there's a lot to say on the subject I actually think it's a little joke that God played on us with the English language because have in English means what I take have in in means what I give so in this world and in a in a a secular mindset you know not secular not as in versus black hats but secular as in a person thinking not connected to the depth of who they are I Look to have in this world by holding on to things and a person that really has something profound doesn't matter doesn't mind letting go of all the details in the world because the giving act itself is really receiving there's a friend of mine that got a lot of money on the stock market he actually had a startup and he sold it to Google and made a lot of money and and when the stock market crashed the bottom fell out of the market I don't know how many years ago it was a few years back and he lost basically everything he had in about 48 Hours lower Leno um I don't have that much to lose practically it doesn't affect me but but I hear it and he actually was in a com State on the floor for 48 hours that's what I heard from his brother um but I remember a couple years later I saw him at at a Simka and he said to me you know these are the kind of things you'd see on a Facebook post a quaint line but the fact that it came from here was so powerful he said everything that I had I lost he said the only money that I maintained was that which I gave to to Daka because that will always be in my he wasn't even a quote unquote a religious guy right he isn't a sh he's Israeli he knows you know he has the right priority he has a big nsh there's no we all know that that that's the reality there for these kind of people he had a big sh and he said to me he said you know what he said what I had what I held on to right what I have that's what I have he said no what I gave is what I have and what I held on to I lost that's profound so the truth is we're very self-absorbed people and we want to take we want to take and the truth is even in marriage this is true unfortunately I have a lot to say on the subject I just want to run through it a minute so I can teach you some real cabala but but in marriage I see that the biggest irony of all marriag is and I deal every day on foring with marriages that are falling apart and people shom bias sh and bias issues but there irony is there's no greater pleasure in this world then a feeling of transcending ourselves a feeling of being more than just me do you ever walk down the street you feel I'm so sick and tired of being in my own head with my own issues with my own problems and my own anxieties and if you think of some of the greatest moments of your life it's when we get out of ourselves and we give to another person it could be an organization could be you at a Tish and you're singing together could be in stadium and rock and roll concert but that feeling of actors that Unity everyone knows the same song everyone's United together when we become more than ourselves there are greatest moments in life the issue is that so many people enter into relationships in such a greedy selfish State the reason they go into that relationship is to bond is to UniFi with something Beyond themselves but they're so CAU and I need this and you're not doing that and I need to be more like this they're so caught in themselves that Unfortunately they held hostage to their own needs and they can never transcend themselves and get Beyond themselves that the essence of giving of love loving somebody else is really to see somebody's needs before your own that's a sign a Simmon of true love to see somebody's needs before your own the mystics say I'm sure you've heard all this stuff before they say the numerical value of the word a the 1 5 2 1 equal 13 the same as the word Oneness Unity what's that hey at the end I'm sorry I I have a thing I can't actually teach and write at the same time I make mistake all the time and that of course is five great I thought you going to say hey at the end okay I can't teach and write at the same time which is the root of the word a which is from the Aramaic word which means I can't write and teach at the same time which is a crazy coincidence because that's just what I said wow don't you love when the universe comes together moving right along so 13 is the new president of Iran right that's what it sounds like to me means one Oneness is Unity how do I achieve love is the feeling of uniting with someone of seeing the connection seeing the unity that comes through giving through taking my love getting beyond my needs and desires and seeing somebody else before myself acknowledging that Unity so desla says leverage your self love give to somebody else and you will expand your s sense of self to another person to an organization to a sh to a community to a country to a nation and that's how that works there are many ways that we could talk for a long time about how you increase love techniques you have focus on the positive rather than the negative how you perceive a person is a based on your choices of what to perceive where you put your attention where you put your desk but I our time is very limited so now I want to teach you something a little deeper I've had many many classes over the years of of teachers teaching us how we can increase our love between Jews exercises techniques in Psychology and Consciousness and Sh and bias between a man and wife write a list every day of three positive things the person does and these can be helpful and they can be valuable but there's a deep lie in them this is not really the secret of Jewish Unity it's not even true and I want to try and explain something a little more radical to you right now there's a deeper way to attain love between Jews there's a deeper way to increase love between Jews we understand that idea of giving to another is part of shus when I give to another not I give a little basket of something but I choose constantly who is this person what do they need you know I have a lot of allergies and every year I get a bunch of things in a basket that I can't I can't even touch the basket basically not really true but I like to be dramatic just to annoy people sometimes take the basket back not really but it would be funny would it's a PO sketch um but that sometimes you get a basket when someone actually called out my wife and actually said what can he eat or what can't eat and sends that to you and I have to say it's really moving I still pass it on to somebody else but but the point is I'm religious I fellow customs it's really really moving if the person you're giving the food to is diabetic and you kind of look into it it's very moving to personalize that with a letter I know we have to mass Market Mich Manas but I highly recommend take two or three of them and make them matter increase the connection giving invest in that person but there's another way to achieve love and and that's what I want to say and this is a little deeper and I want to try and explain it to you now always said is good and true but if you think that's the way to achieve true love between Jews then we've missed the whole point of what it means to be an and all this makes sense until hands up if you have children here okay here pardon here here yeah can you bring the mat J me they can probably spell better than me right more piz a lot more pizza um what was it like when you you first met your child CRI cried cried all I also cried not just cuz they were hurting me they also hurt me as cry as a lack of sleep cuz what it was going to cost me the next 10 years of my life but there's that feeling of Tears Again doesn't hit everybody straight away it hits a lot of people straight away when I first held my my first child the son in my arms I remember having a feeling I I felt you know like the the end of yum kind of feeling when you're not really in your body anymore when you're not really you anymore when something it's called theas in when there's a deep expansion of what you are I remember feeling such love such overwhelming love the only way I could describe it it's kind of like you know you know your heart and you know who you love you know who you like and you know who you don't like and I like this person this much I like my husband this much whatever but then one day yes something from nothing it's kind of like you know I live in a tiny little apartment with like three little two little bedrooms and a bathroom and a living room and you go to bed and you wake up the next morning and right in the middle of the living room there's suddenly a ladder and I go up that ladder there's a hole and suddenly there's a massive new floor in the house where did that come from that's what it's like when I met my first child it's like there's an extension right in my heart and there's a whole new room a whole new Temple it's a bit of Vish but you know what I I mean which is dedicated to adoring this person even more than anyone else I ever met hands up if you relate to that a little right so about my child I mean no that's just mine selfish people why don't you give to my child then you like them more um when I experienced that I ran back to my rabbis and I ran back to my teachers and I said you lied to me cuz you always told me that love came through giving you always told me the more time the more energy that you invest right then the more love you have I've never met this child at all I don't know anything about this child you can say I gave you know I helped my wife to the pregnancy whatever you know I helped you know I'm like a modern U AG sensitive man I help my wife deliver you know I said how can I help she said get off I was like I'll be outside it's a team effort we're working together I'm in chees it's right so like what do you really really do at the end of the day I'd like to take responsibility I'll stay out of your way that's the the intelligent male approach to this I actually did work gow and have my wife it's a Lory but if men need help on this subject you're welcome to ask me um at that moment I realized that that you know R Des lit he's talking Psy psychology now he's talking about giving physically giving physically I understand what make childis 20 why I love them because I gave to them right but that's garbage by the way that's garbage cuz you know you love your child fast sometimes it takes people a few weeks or months for that to kick in but once it kicks is there it's got nothing to do with giving and I ran back and I said you lie to me it's not true love does not come through giving and therefore I learned something much deeper you ready there's not one kind of love there's two kinds of love one is a love that's built through investment through hard work it needs to be structured it takes disciplined it takes giving but there's another kind of love qualitatively and quantitatively it's an inherent love it doesn't have to be built it just has to be revealed it's a love that's instantaneous and complete and undying and whatever you do on top of it can make it more but it can never make it less and I wanted to know what was that love where did that come from cuz I want more of that can you create more of that your child you you can create more children but could you create that other people no because people are people your child comes through you but that's the secret the mystics want to teach us the mystics want to ask you a question What Kind of Love Is The Love between Jews it's a love way I have to build I don't like this person I don't even know you people I already don't like you right that's a very high level and if I want to get to know you I want to invest time I want to help you out with your problems of cash I like my my students because I've invested in and the mystics say no that's not the love between Jews that's the love between any human being in the world but Jews are there's a kind of love that's is just like the love of your child that's instant that's complete that's overwhelming that's totally stable and consistent no matter what happens and that's what we're supposed to learn how to access you don't have to build that love you just have to reveal that love the question is what is it how do we get that I want to explain to you this with the last three hours that we have together why do you was laugh when I say that a little CIT us together people can handle that emotionally Miss nagam I hate you people oh no I don't hate you people it's just that there there's there's a there's a beautiful piece of Tanya in in in chapter 32 lamid based life H that describes the mystical secrets that and that's what I'm going to explore in the last few minutes the mystical definition of the true sense of what it really means to love another Jew and for the sake of time I'm just going to read it briefly and translate it briefly we'll try our best to explain it MH all the Jewish people are called Brothers a family our brothers and sisters MH literally I don't what it means literally your parents are different than my parents as far as I know but we're one child to AEM but we're not literally be says we're literally now this is weird mystical understanding so I just want you to stick with me if you don't like this stuff bear with me no one's ever died by L this against popular opinion we are all one and United according to the root of our souls and the root it's like a wagon with when all the spokes go to the center that place all the spokes are one and unified on the outside we appear different our bodies according to the perception of body we are separate I don't know you I don't know where you're from I don't know anything about you the color of your face your history your life I don't know you but our souls are one and that sounds like a very nice spiritual thing to say but he's going to add a very profound psychological idea I do a whole seminar to teach people how to experience this I'm just giving you the the the rudimentary philosophical idea now just so we can hear it and and and and think about it together today he says under the outside were separate on the inside were one and there he says a person who makes in their Consciousness their body and their desires are more real to them than their inner spiritual sensitivity they will see everybody else in the world as different and separate to them but a person that's more in tune with a spiritual inner reality they will automatically perceive other people to be unified with them whether you can see the unity depends on how you live each day in your own Consciousness if you are connected to your soul you will automatically feel and experience the unity if you are connected to let's say in this term your body whatever that it doesn't really mean body it means emotions it means um it means false beliefs and philosophies are negative destructive emotions not the positive ones and our and physical and trained trained conditioned um physical responses if we're more connected and identifi with those then we're going to see is all is different and every person you're going to need to prove to them that they're worthy for you to love and accept but if you're more connected to your soul to the depth of who you are your inner sensitivity then automatically that love will be there now I want to describe for the next few minutes what that means it's a very spiritual sounding thing doesn't really sound so accessible to who Who besides a few s Deon connected to their soul remember the balatan is telling us something that that we can do now you can learn to experience this now let me try and explain this to you as best as I can clock is ticking a few years ago I had a beautiful thing that happened to me in my Suka suus in is a very beautiful thing especially in in my place where I live you can't work you know a few steps without having to duck out of the way of a sucker they're on the streets on the buildings they're falling down out of the sky constantly and uh like it's very beautiful and when you walk home you hear everybody singing in their ciras it's very profound so a few years ago I'm sitting in my C we have a lot of students over and and you know we like to sing a lot and I have a neighbor downstairs who's not religious and we get along very well we spend a lot of time talking I kind of like him more than my religious neighbors but don't tell anyone I said that um and in the middle of the festival one night all my friends are coming over and he jumps into the sucker he pulls out his white satin Kipper feels a need to put it on in the cir I that was very cute I said you don't have to for me he says no it's a cir of course you do so he he he takes a and he says no why aren't we singing let's sing a song so I say Bak what do you want to sing he start singing one of the songs we all start singing so it's like me and him and the T were all singing together and it was very beautiful now we're singing the Suka and we've got ouri neighbors up there and we've got these other people over there and these other people there and we can hear when you're in the Su we're all on top of each other so we can hear all the other people singing you know what that's like it's really really beautiful so I'm thinking to myself it's so nice we're singing they're singing but only I feel like you know what's what's this discordance if that's English that they were all singing different songs so writers were hitting the peak of the song they bang on the table and go SH now that's like you can't you stop a song right when you're building up to the cendo and it was like why are we stopping and I just I tune into those I said listen to what they're singing and then we start singing along with them so we we all feel this is really cute we're all impressed with ourselves at this moment it's a very beautiful moment because they're singing and we're singing we're all kind of getting into it but we're not sure if if they realize that we're singing with them so at the end of the song we start singing our song but then they come along with us we're like oh this is fun right okay so now we have to get oury brothers and sisters up there in the five so I don't know many nunam right but there's one or two that I know and as we're singing the song After the song I suddenly hear that they start singing one of them I know so it's that one that goes that one so I'm joking I it's much more beautiful than you're going to for sure so they're going much more beautiful than uh everything else we have to offer combin so they start singing one of the songs that I know I just don't know them um and then we jump on and when we jump on our neighbors over there jump on so now we're all singing together it was a very beautiful moment so I'm singing all the brethen in all the you know the in our Su and they're singing and I in my imagination it's kind of like a cartoon and all the sukers are kind of like dancing back and forward like this together so make that thing on YouTube for $2,000 so it was a very beautiful moment now after that beautiful moment we when we saw each other we all smiled it was a very cute thing now I I I thought about this for a bit and I'm going to ask you a very deep question and you have to be really a calist to answer this otherwise you won't stand a chance so see if there's any calist in the crowd it was such a beautiful thing to sing together what a beautiful thing to sing between sukers together now it made me think just the following simple question why have we never done this before all year we all live in the same building all year we're all right next to each other why is this the first time that we ever sung together what's the answer to that question and unless you've lived learned all the zoha you probably have nothing intelligent to say on this subject somebody offer an opinion from over here you can hear each other CU you're outside you can hear each other is it because we're outside that we can hear each other we're sitting in the house why why CU you stop and you listen I'm amazed you know so much go you don't even have a beard how could that be a miracle a miracle not even funny hetic um get out can we put him in can we do that is that okay just like putting people in it's hobby um so listen very carefully so she says is it what because we're outside what's the reason outs can hear each other is it because we're outside we can hear each other you're halfway there let a finish it off she's done all the hard work right she's even had to go into to answer it let her get there is it because we're outside what's the reason because you can hear other why can you hear each other okay just going in circles right now what's the reason it's not just cuz we're outside what's the implication of being outside we are how how would you help her out what's that broken the B you broken the boundaries of the walls so you guys are way actually too calistic I'm a simple Jew if you listened in your house most of the time you couldn't hear it either with the implication of being outside my friends just to make it obvious bring it down to earth from the capitalistic Realms but you're right you just so obvious us do that we didn't speak it out yet is is because when I sit in my house with my big thick walls and my nice candal abas and my big bookshelves you know and if I'm in America or B chish right then I have my you know my garden and I have my walls and my swimming pool and my tennis court and you know like like like we have in mesim um and and and and I have all that stuff and when you have all that stuff you can't hear through the walls that's what you mean outside it's not the actual being outside it's that outside of all those walls all that yesus all that g all my walls and furniture and nice fluffy things I put on them and you know all those colors in the guest room and the maid servants quarters and all that stuff that you all have I'm sure working for green smoke if not you deserve a raise um and and so it's when you have all that stuff around you you can't hear the song of the person even though in Jerusalem they can literally be 10 you know 20 ft away you still can't hear it because the walls are so thick that's what you meant right so listen what we're saying that someone can be right next to you but you can't hear who they are because the walls are so thick that's the secret of the Suka the Suka is is in the of a who is shom shom the covered are walls that surround us but they're transparent you can see through them when we live in a reality where the walls that surround us and now I'm not just talking physical walls I'm talking emotional walls so many fears and so many doubts and so much ego and so much defenses we can walk right past to Jew and right in front of me because of the color of the Kipper no Kipper because he has a Kipper whatever it is and we can't see that there's another soul in there singing with something beautiful to sing with something beautiful to express now listen very carefully I'm going to do this as fast as I can three questions which are hidden in this line on the board what does it mean there's inherent love between Jews I don't feel inherent love between Jews some of them I like and some of them I don't let's be honest it's not in heav I I understand I was crying for my child I get that but I'm not crying for every Jew with that love so I don't see that don't experience it one two is I thought we said the only inherent love was for yourself for yourself ah so there's inh love for Jews or they in hand love for yourself and number three what is this stuff what are these walls what's this yesus that gets in the way from loving other Jews and I'm going to show you this in the secret on the board in the next 10 minutes then we're done you ready can you handle 10 minutes to see this break apart this line and you'll find something extraordinary this is what this line wants to teach us if I were to tell you right now you should love your friend like yourself what is the Hebrew word for friend what would you say what's that isn't the word that we often use why did the posic use the word rather than why does it not say so much more commonly used term so there's a deep secret hidden in there that the mystics talk I'm going to try my best to explain it to you in a few minutes if I can pull this off there are two words in Hebrew for friend and re but hold in mindes is a it's a Transcendent language and one of the rules of a Transcendent language without going into the complexities of why this is so is there's no such thing as a synonym Ines you never have two words meaning the same thing if you're not thinking they're kind of the same thing so we're always looking to understand the nuance and the magic the lesson we can learn from the difference so what is the difference between and re and why did hem when he tells us to love fellow Jews why did it say use the word rare rather than so let's explore the word can anyone think of any other Hebrew words that they know why is everyone laughing let's start with this what other Hebrew words you know and there's a bunch of them by the way thanks for being nice about that which are this is the word right now what other Hebrew words do you know which have these two letters as the root what's the one you all laughing about what's that are people banned from speaking the companies this the way you keep them in order someone has to have a strong hand around here if everyone writes off and triplicates the what's that it's good take whatever solution you can get buddy I appreciate that all the way here we go listen very carefully who knows so the first person is said so we one thing that we know it means a friend okay the second we know it means a Shepherd Hashem is a shepherd with an a can't teach and spell at the same time but I go very well in spelling these oh the irony here we go it's also Hashem Hashem Ro so it's also and there's on this in in in the G so it's also one of the words that we use to describe Hashem which is very interesting where else do we use this word does anyone know meaning evil you know how you think all your friends are evil now you have a source it's deeper than you know okay it's actually the Hebrew word for evil it's already Weir that AEM and evil have the same root word that's a discussion yes anyone can think of any others was that which means an event okay that's very interesting I'm not going to put that on the board because that will take me an extra hour and I don't think iion to go there but you'll hold that in mind put that together which means what that guag fragile to in the second of it means it even means to means to to break or to fracture to shatter something so it means to break to break to shatter something now let me click is there any more evil to break oh there's one more there's one that we use on rashash Shana it's a word you don't think of as being connected but the roota the Chau for blow on rash is actually called AA which has the root of the words R so it also means a show for blow now listen very carefully to this I I I'm sure you've learned this stuff before and you know the famous mystical axium that whenever you have letters with multiple different explanations because this is too deep to explain right now because the idea itself in creation is always rooted in the Hebrew letters and the letters are an expression of the idea then when you have multiple different ideas with the same root it indicates they're not multiple ideas they all have exactly the same spiritual property now when I do a 2 and 1 half hour version of this class which is true which is not today I let the audience figure out the connection but because we don't have that time we have to end the class there thank you very much for your time sh hammer what's the connection let me explain to you what the connection is it's it's a little deep and a little beautiful let's start here there's the old question the famous mystical question if Adam and Eve made a mistake why do we have to suffer today all the problems all the challenges in the world everything from the biggest disasters in history to to a person as the says putting their hand in their pocket expecting to find a Dollar only finding 50 it's all because if if if God is perfect and he created a perfect world why is that challenge today it's all because of what Adam and Eve did wrong but the all old questions so why do we have to suffer does anyone know what the answer to that question is the answer that question question is and again you may like this stuff and like to believe in this stuff you may sound think this sounds dogmatic I'm not asking you to believe in anything right now it's not a class in Dogma I'm just asking you to appreciate the patterns just see if you can follow the pattern follow the model and see that it's there the mystics say like I say for like Toma dor that really what Adam was was what's called a CL Adam was a United soul and all of us are really we're called Ben Adam all of us are really part of one Soul which was the prim it's not this guy walking naked through a field with you know the Cabbage Patch there whatever that is right it it's it's something which is transcendent according to the mystical writings this wasn't even in the physical world the time of Adam it's one uni United consciousness of universal sensitivity that all every single one of us were part of but when Adam made that mistake when he fractured his Consciousness every different part of the psyche of Adam's Consciousness and this is a little deep got broken down and fragmented into multiple Parts because each single one of them had to go through and realign and rectify that the challenge the mistake that have made through being a part of that process therefore the mystics say hold hold on just for this two minutes and you'll get this that who we are today we go through the challenges we go through because we are Adam every single one of us we are an extension a part of that Consciousness so there was United Consciousness at the beginning of the time and that got broken down to all the different people you see before you in the world today and especially at the root of them being the Jewish Souls of the world and at the end of the day there's a thing called kibot Gus everyone's heard of kibit Gus so everybody thinks that kibit Gus means at the end of day is all everyone's going to get come from around the world and come back to ER Israel right so I always think if you want a good business tip you guys are business you want a good business tip buy shares in LL that's my advice to you all it's the one stock you know at the end of the days is going to be riding High pun intended so what happens is at the end of the day every all the Jews from around the world are going to come back and unite but the ramal and other sources say that's not the secret of True kibit Gas K's is going to happen after M comes after the B is built after it's hard to imagine this if you have a deep in the soul you'll be able to visualize this or sense this what's going to happen then is all the souls that were once fractured are going to start to unite back together to one universal Consciousness and we're all going to enter in we're going to experience how every person's Journey every person's growth every person's mitzvas every person's challenges they were all part of one being's Consciousness and the mystics even say today that the internet is a clipper of that the internet you see the world is starting moving to a universal Consciousness that's a very deep discussion so the true Unity is we are all one being every Jew is from one Consciousness we all got broken and shattered down into many different apparent parts and at the end of the day we're all going to be unified back together again and everything comes together as a whole now now you understand the true meaning of you should love your neighbor like yourself why like yourself because they are yourself but you just currently can't see that yet do you hear that I'm not asking you to believe that if you're not into these things I'm just asking you to hear the model that if you understand that we have to define the letters Ron Ron mystically speaking always means when you have something which is inherently one but it gets fractured and shattered and fragmented into different variable parts that's what that roote always indicates and hints to something which is inherently one something which is United as a whole gets fragmented into many different parts that's why I'm seeing a Jew walking down the street I go I don't know who you are I don't know what your problem is I don't know where your is but you don't realize love them like yourself imagine they were one and United with you imagine their Journey was your journey that challenge is your challenge why imagine it because it really is true but because you're according a limited perception of reality you can't currently recognize that and see that if you understand that let's break these down see how they all fit it let's start with chaua chaua the word TOA has the root now where does the TR what does the tra sound like now listen very carefully how does it start listen tea one unified hole Tua Tua means the unified hole now gets shattered and broken to many parts and then it unifies again tea do you see how that one Brokenness return return to wholeness um break that's the word of break toel when a unifying H gets shattered and broken into many pieces um evil so this is a very deep profound subject but the definition of evil on a Consciousness level psychological level on a soul level is when we fracture and disconnect ourselves from our root mes a person that runs after their desires in the world gets broken if a person speaks L and Hara the language of RA the language of disconnection I disconnect myself from my brothers and sisters I just I feel guilty and bad about myself so I start feeling guilty I'm disconnected from my soul every time a person you know goes into certain desires they look at certain things on the computer they start feeling guilty they can't tell their family and friends about it they start repressing different desires and anger and frustration within themselves when a person goes after negativity self-destructive that's called has a silent Al the AL represents the soul when I do a I disconnect the expression of my soul the alive therefore I and sin and raw evil is that which dis connects us from our source our Infinite Source within us these are all go on and on a Shepherd everyone knows a Shepherd a Shepherd why all the great leaders of the Jewish history Shepherds it's not because they were all born in New Zealand that's not true um it's got to do with you know they they're in charge of gathering and guiding many different pieces together they take responsibility for many but on a deeper level at sadak is called the shepherd and this is the secret we're going to see today is because they love and see the goodness the light the song in every single person and and they show how every person's gifts talents strengths and abilities can all be United together to perform a cohesive hold Schamus shom as one so that's why a Shepherd is called that you why is hasem called that so that's a a deeper thing because we are portions of godliness we are portions of the one so if you understand all of that let's be very careful now so means what it means friend but there's another word for friend the root of the word is means joined and bonded and unified and connected now this begs the question so what ises Torah teaching us is our Jewish Brethren people were inherently disconnected and fragmented from or is it teaching us that these people were inherently connected to do you guys hear the question so let let me ask you a question what's your name sir Bernard Bernard can I ask you a question I hope it's not too emotionally challenging how how wide is this book that you're looking at uh about 15 cm 15 cm are you a centimet person are you a centimeter person you're an inch person you can handle centimeters per second good how wide is this book um 15 cm is it 15 cm oh that oh I'm just asking to look at what you're seeing um this way no about 20 20 oh we have another ma Locus between Jews here we go right now so this Bernard says it's 15 and you say 20 you want to put one of you in which one should you put in P first what else would you like to throw in of the political mix right so we have Aus of 15 and 20 so who's right both what's the difference perspective sometime in this world you can have two people that are right even though they're saying opposites because they both have a different perspective what is the difference between re and when you meet a person you don't know who they are you don't like them the new kid in the workplace you make some space you make some room you have to move your desk over but I was comfortable with that little corner at that moment moment they you don't know who they are but like them like yourself because you will see who they are but is after time you become you learn together you go together become your when you see a Jew is inherently bonded and connected part of you then you call them right so if you get that now explain to me why God used the word in the midst of Sir more Brad and then connect to everything not only the so the first answer which is good because it's more broad you can connect to everything but but now we're going to push it even further not you can connect to everything but it's easier to love somebody who has the same opinions as you as a when you're already I know you got closer some you still have with that's the person you have is it doesn't we all do the mitah you know how we translate that of course I love Jews I love the Jews that I love I love my community I like my family I like I like the people like with my hats they're the people I like everyone else they're not choose we don't actually say that out loud but that's how we Fame it so hashem's smarter than us here's another proof he doesn't say the MIT is to love the Jews that you're connected to he says love and give and nurture and invest in the people daa specifically the ones that you see as separate you know why because they are you but you just can't see that yet love the person that you're convinced is different from you that's where the Mitzvah is now if you get that and we're really really nearly done now what stops us from doing that what stops US what gets in our way why can't we do well nothing ahead that's a beautiful message and here's the last 2 minutes you ready why don't we do that what others walls now we understand why we're inherently connected because we are one what does it mean that I thought the only love is is self love isn't the only love in heav love self love what's the answer to that question it is but because you are myself of course I naturally love you but when I can see that so the final question is what are those walls that stand in way if a person see themselves as a body they'll see everyone is separate so I'm going to give you an exercise to do when I do this in a longer class I get everyone to speak this out and burst into tears but now I'm going to get half of you to do that the men's side let's let's be honest they need it don't they I'm not going to make you do the work but I want you to just do it enough in your head that you can realize it and think about it what is it that gets in our way that does not allow us to feel that love so let me show you I want everyone to do an exercise with me last I I can't make you do this I'm not here to make you do this exercise I'm just facilitating an opportunity if you want to think about this really you'll just follow my instructions right now think right now of one person that you really really adore in the world besides yourself if you are stuck in the desert island or in the in the office late at night with one other person right who's that one person you would want to be around doesn't have to be in the company it can be in your life in general who's one person you really feel connected to you love to be with if you're in a challenge you love that person to be there I want you to think of one hands up when you've got it do anyone not have anyone they like in the world I have a whole class on this you should hear it not enough okay I just I feel the same about you too sir if I can say that out loud okay so now here's the challenging thing just just to yourself I want you to think of a person that you really don't like at all now listen very carefully as Define this I'm not talking Adolf Hitler okay I don't mean someone who's actually what we call evil and God forbid if you've been through any abuse God forbid I don't mean someone who's done something bad really bad to you I'm just talking about a person that you know theoretically for all intents of purposes is a decent person but they just irritate you they just frustrate you you know what I mean by that there's always someone in this class that says Ah it didn't work LBI because you know that person did this terrible thing to me so that's not what we mean a person that you should be that person could be a void if you have a MIT to stay away from them that's not what I'm talking someone that you just don't like you just don't feel comfortable you just don't want to be around they irritate you they irk you I want you to just be very clear about who that person is right now hands up if You' got it please don't pick me please do someone else my my self-esteem is the women don't have anyone like that they're cool on this side of the room what's that no I'm sorry I was joking about I was going to make them men like they really need it I'm not doing any of the work I do this emotional stuff all the time women someone that annoys you they're in denial okay so here we go you ready so fine now first exercise go to that person that you really really like now this is hard to do and you have to be real with yourself if there's one you're going to say I don't know what it is but you'll be able to find it you watch in 10 seconds if there is one thing that you really love about them that a certain character trait they have an energy that they have or sensitivity that they have or thing that they do just who they are they're so compassionate or they're so introverted they're so extroverted they're so vilant insightful they're so disciplined they're so all you know free what is that one thing you really really like about them you can get it close your eyes tune into the feeling and and see what you get try and pin one word or two words in the ballpark hands up if you got it okay now here's the harder part the person you don't like what's the one thing you don't like about them and I know you have many things you don't like about them but if it all falls down to that one thing that's so annoying they're so loud they're so vain they're so quiet they're so aggressive they're so passive they're so funny you know the snow whatever that is if you had to find it I know there's a lot of things I know you have just what if you could tune into the energy the essence boil it down what's the one thing that really irks you about that person hands up if you got it okay so here we go anyone see this coming if you look to the person that you really really like and you are conscious about what the property is you really really like about them hands up right now if that's also the same property that you have or you really want to have or wish you did have it's which is it's the same thing as you right it's probably other things than you see yourself or something you really wish you had hands up if that Rings true for you now hands up high let's see okay most of the people in the room how did I know that because I looked at your records before I came into the building they gave me complete access to everything because the BAM says the whole world is a spegel the whole world is a mirror when you look at the world and when you look at other people unfortunately you don't see them we see the world through a filter system based on our own emotional reality we rarely see another human being you can learn to see another human being all of say the are all about I transform my emotional reality to learn to see the true real goodness in the world around me but none of us have done that work yet or we're all going slowly and surely we haven't mastered it yet so I already magically know that the person you love the most is because they're reflecting something within yourself now of course once you say that you can see the reverse coming as well well this is a little trickier think about the person that you don't like think about the person that you don't connect with think about that property that you don't like about them now I want you to think two things a is this something that you have and you don't like about yourself now some of you may go yes and some go no that's not true but it's also because you're not aware yet that you don't like that about yourself or B is that thing that they are that thing that they do is that reminiscent of something that your parents did or a challenge you've had all your life that always annoys you about other people all people like that always tick me off it makes me feel angry or upset or sad it makes me feel abandoned or I have to protect myself or afraid that that's something you have in other areas you can see that pattern in other areas of your life through your history it's something you don't like in yourself because you have it yourself self as the G the says in anyone that writes off another person because of their issue it's because it's because of the issues within themselves that they're focused on that issue in other person hands up if you can see that hand with that that thing you didn't like hands up if that's you can see that within yourself now often there's less hands there once I was teaching this n and a girl came up to me and said Baba your whole exercise didn't work I was like okay why I just Ed to know she said this girl is a very bright intelligent Russian girl she said because the girl that I chose was really stupid and I don't like it cuz she's stupid no I I didn't want to say anything but the girl who said that is actually very in intellectual very intelligent so I was like okay it doesn't work there's other factors involved so the girl's about to work I said by the way Jen I just want to know when you said she's stupid you mean intellectually stupid and she said no that's not what I mean I said what do you mean she stopped and she said it's just like she keeps making destructive decisions in her life but she's so stupid she doesn't learn from them and at that moment she burst out crying and ran out of the room because we're not aware of what it is that we don't like about them because we're not aware of the issues we're having within ourselves and if you understand that mechanism here's the secret in the words watch the words on the board right now the reason you love other people is not because you see them is because you see yourself the reason you don't like other people is because there's emotional blocks and issues and pains and fears and ego which is causing a filter system to how you perceive that person if you got that therefore if it's because you don't like yourself what would be the secret to learn to love that other person if that person's got an issue with anger now you have an issue with anger so when you see that anger you hate that person cuz you really hate that anger within yourself what would be the secret to loving that other person what's that love you have to love the shattered part of them how do you learn to love the shatter part of them because every time I look at that shatter part it triggers my shut part and I hate that Within Myself so of course I'm going to reject it in them so what would be the secret to loving that shuttered part of them to look at yourself if you could love and accept your negativity your evil your Brokenness doesn't mean I approve it doesn't mean I want to be angry but I don't hate myself and resent myself I say okay that's because of challenges and pain I've been through and slowly I'll grow and develop if you could love and accept your negativity for sure you would begin to love that person that's exactly what's in the board you should love your friend like yourself how do I do that the word re also means your negativity if you love and accept your ra your Brokenness and shatter this then automatically you would see the good with that person like you do that person you already love you guys get it there it is on the board the shus is an opportunity to to look within your own heart oh you have to give a gift is everyone getting this already not to the friends and neighbors that you already like to the ray R everyone writes these list we have another FID here's all our favorite friends in the area let's go give them shalas what about them we should yeah but I can't be bothered bew let's give them something cheap what did you say it's going to be awkward giving them up right isn't it that's right that's the one the class oh I gave you brother well you really hate me what what do I ever do to deserve this it's really expensive you hate me that much I also saw his class you know I hate you here have something else have this Dum p on if it's kosher I don't know right so it's very interesting listen very carefully there's a mitz where to stop and think about that other person who don't you want to give it to why can you work on that on yourself you see how that becomes a transformative act to give it to that person with a with a la sh to give to a with all your heart make sure there's two or three that that you're increasing the the r with with the r not the not the ending on a story I went out with my wife a number of times before we got married three or four it was like married with kids in the ultra Orthodox world that three or four dates is already like commitment and uh she's a and she shared with me a story that she wrote and when I read this story I thought I'm in love with this woman and I want to share with you the story because this this story sounds to me if there's ever an image in my head of what what Exile looks like to be an but we're so absorbed of our lines of pains we don't see another but when we can put down our ey put down our anger and ego and pain and look up and suddenly there's another person there it's this story and the setup to The Story Goes Like This my wife was 19 she had no religious connection either and she was involved with this theater acting workshop and and it was run they went away for a weekend a group of women 40 women as run by this famous feminist author and another woman who has an actress has this very freeing vocal method and they do all these self-discovery exercises and the final finale for these 40 women is these women sit in this massive Circle and they go around and they're going to present their lives and they their they journey and they've got four different exercises where they're supposed to stand in the circle and present their lives and like one exercise is you have to sum up the most challenging moment of your life for example with with in six words another example you have to CH up sum up the most another challenging powerful moment of your life with a song any song you can choose it so what happens is there's four example is like that and everyone sing the circle and they spend basically half a day each woman comes up and each woman you know gives over this challenge of her life and everyone B up crying and hugs her and then she says you know this most challenging moment in life I'm summing up with a song and she sings and there's an idea that that they said everyone's going to join her in the song when the woman starts singing you know the song You All Join in but just let her sing it one time through by herself and everyone will join in so they do this for like 6 hours you imagine sitting in a room for the first time it's beautiful and the second one is also beautiful and the third time is a little boring and the fourth time you're wondering if there's any pizza left in the other room like you are now etc etc so what happens is nly there H what happens is she start they start going through this and it's like it's like 8:00 at night just like now but right and she's been sitting in that room and she's tired and exhausted and and there's finally everyone's going around and they're all singing you know all their secular songs and all that kind of stuff and finally you know she's there and she's done hers hours ago and this one girl gets up my wife doesn't really know anyone in the room my wife has no Jewish identity no Jewish awareness and the scho gets up and my wife just like you know she's in her own head she's worried about going home and her stresses and her family and issues and her mother what's happening and this girl gets up and she starts doing a thing my wife gave up paying attention a long time ago and this girl gets up my wife described her as having like dark hair and a dark complexion and she starts singing a song now my wife is not even paying attention to the song she's not even paying attention to the story but the first notice that my wife has is something going on is she hears the people next to her snickering kind of laughing and my wife just looks up you see other people are kind of laughing something embarrassing is happening and she kind of puts her desk on Tunes in to see what's happening and and the girl is singing but she's chosen a song in another language and it's such a weird language nobody even know no one can sing all these people around this room no one knows what it is and she's suddenly in this very awkward position where she chose a song that she obvious had some meaning in her life she started singing it but nobody knows the song she chose a weir L and everyone's kind of a bit awkward embarrassing and my wife's like that's weird how or she goes to tune out but she listens with her ears and suddenly she goes wait a second this this is [Music] familiar and as she begins to tune into it she goes wait a second that's a weird godal words and she goes wait a second I I know this from somewhere I know this tune from somewhere she's going back in her mind she hears everyone's laughing at her nobody knows what this word right it's in the room of non-jews and there's like you know one Jew they even know she's Jewish I don't even know what that is what is she singing and my wife starts going what like suay school well I think my mother my grandmother sung this to me once and my wife looks up and starts my wife then she's a young girl right she's a young girl now um 20 was last year and and and she starts she starts hearing this song and she realizes I know this but I don't know the words but I want to sing with her and I'm trying to find the words and and and everyone's laughing at her and I just want to read to you if I can the words that she wrote I glance around I glance quickly around I have known this prayer for as long as I can remember but no one else's face shows the slightest flicker of recognition the Hebrew syllables sound comforting and familiar the woman keeps singing alone I am the only one that knows how to join in tentatively I grasp a fragment of the new Melody and try and attach the words to it my voice quietly at first reaches out to meet her the woman hears that she is no longer alone her eyes quickly scan the audience trying to find the source of the new voice at the same time that I feel nearby participants turn to face me astonished that another person among them can match these gutal foreign sounds but I am oblivious to their stairs I am singing only for this woman towards this woman to whom I suddenly feel a deep connection I know the meaning of her singing even though I do not understand the words of the song but when our eyes meet the look that we share is so intense that time stops I see her relief and profound gratitude at having been saved from the nakedness of singing alone to dozens of uncomprehending faces but beyond that we recognize each other as sharing something that no one else in the room has she does not need to tell me her story I already know her story just as she knows mine I know you we sing through the Hebrew words eyes riveted on each other I know what you mean she smiles at me warmly and we are lifted ever so briefly out of the room together if ever there was an image to me of what it means to be an exile to be an Amur that two Souls singing the same song can be in a room and not know each other because of their own stuff and suddenly one looks beyond their own walls through the Suka of fears of doubts and sees beyond to the goodness of a song and finds that song within our own heart you know that that we are called yel I'm sure you know that yel