Hit Song...Od Yoter Tov!

[Music] I'm sure everyone's familiar with this new passionate exciting and emotional song that has come out in the Jewish world and everyone's also familiar with it much of it discusses the fact that with the tremendous love that who loves me and I love him and therefore that I'll have riches I'll have parasa there will be Zim there will be Health there'll be BR and everything will be fantastic and I wanted to a little bit if I can say dissect not the actual song but this concept and try to be able to figure out what we could learn from these Concepts especially over here now that we're in par which is everything to do with the idea of the love and passion that we have for our relationship with at the is the writes at the end of one of the one of were probably the most famous ramban on the planet and over here he writes about the fact he me has everything to do with a andem and AEM our relationship with hem and like I said based on the words of the previous song I want to dissect this concept for a few minutes there is a truth but unfortunately an extended amount of uh mistake of a fallacy that gets into people's mind where they overlap two very important Concepts a very Jewish concept is something known as a kov anyone who's known as a KU someone who doesn't appreciate what is given to him someone who is who is ingrateful as what's known as an ingrate is a very anti-jewish concept we know that we are big people that that understand the idea of of saying a of saying thank you to of course being a is something that is very neged neged to do with our relationship with but many times and yes and far I'm not saying it doesn't appear that way we connect that with the idea of a also meaning a ofm and automatically our relationship to and to other people and especially to our spouse in other words many times the connection that we make is between the idea of a automatically the idea of very famously R desler has a piece in where I'm going to expand and take it a little bit out of the more famous parts and that is where he tries to remove this idea from being understood as a prime type of AA and this is based on two reasons which he doesn't exactly speak out 100% there but this is what he means to say first of all the classic example that we know when you say that I love food or I love danishes or I love fish is the nor example but I love a piece of steak or I love a certain type of vacation most of the time means those places and things and objects that you are referring to that you love is just a love of oneself in as much as you know that it does good for you that I get out of it it's What theim refers to as something that is beneficial for me something that I get to enjoy something that I get incredible amount of and that is a type of AA that is one type of AA but it is a little bit more of what we call a self-love when we refer to the idea of it goes even a little bit beyond this concept if we love only because he gave us life which is incredible and we look into the world and appreciate everything that he gave me and all the things that we have that's fantastic the more he gives me the more he gives me yes that will bring a certain level of AA but as I want to point out this type of AA has two problems first of all it has a Sak it has a certain danger to it because it's what we call an a it's dependent on an external factor and therefore it has wear and tear therefore it has an expiration date that type of Ava is not Everlasting because as much as it's TT on something else so like we said it's fantastic if he gives me par and he gives me bre and he gives me health and he makes it gives me Z and all my work out fantastic oh I love you I love you Hashem you're the best thank you so much for what you did but what what happens when it doesn't always work out when we give those fantastic stories in the war of those people that made it out on October 7th or those people that happen not to be there on September 11th during the by the Twin Towers those are fantastic stories and it can bring out a certain love but what happens to the parent whose child was in the building at the wrong time what about the child whose parents were in the are are are in Aza right now presently as captives are they also singing the songs of if our is completely dependent on what I'm receiving from and of course we're always receiving don't get anything wrong here but sometimes it's limited sometimes it mean leaves things a little bit handicapped it puts me in a place where I don't know where my AA where my love is holding it leaves it in a place that is a little bit dangerous a classic example and the most simple example would be one to one's love to a spouse one who loves his wife because she's just great in the house she's so good with the kids she's a great cook she takes care of the house she does everything they need in many cases she makes the part OFA maybe she brings in the dough and she takes care of what needs to be done fantastic I love her she's fantastic again that's an Ava that is dependent on external factors and again it probably means it's an Ava which is much more of an Ava of yourself what happens when things are not clean what happens when she's getting too old to deal with this stuff what happens when we find certain personality traits which I didn't expect what happens when she gets angry what happens when she's not dealing with the kids the way she used to what happens when her patience has been given in what happens when you start noticing that she has serious anxieties that you never knew about previously suddenly the a pug suddenly it might dissipate suddenly that love that connection that AIX affection that I had hm maybe that wasn't as real as I thought but the answer is it was a little bit of a facade like I said a it's dangerous but even more than that it's almost a sheer it's a love which is true and it's a certain level of love but it's almost a facade it's it's a fallacy sort of speak because you're not really loving her you're kind of loving yourself you're loving everything that she does for you you're loving your personal interest that you're getting and you should have a there's a of and appreciation and thank you and every day you should appreciate every little thing that you get of course however when your whole entire passion love and your connection your your affection is built on it you're putting yourself on a very fine tooth comb you're putting yourself in a very fine line you're not going to be able to get out of it and it's the same thing with our a for our friends or a for it can't only be on that type of level the real type of AA comes from an AA which in these days is a little bit uh you know we say that type of Ava in reference to our CH child our children which is a little bit not connected with any strings attached we talk about a certain love which is non-conditional unconditional love as the expression goes which is not always the best for children I'm not giving a right now so I'm not going to get into that but it comes from a sake of loving for loving itself it comes from a sake of loving and the words of actually give to that person as we know parents love their children more than the children love the parents and that's because of how they gave over to the children they see a piece of themselves in their children and they feel much more connected but it doesn't necessarily come from something that I've received we have to go in the ways of what's the ways of he does everything why he doesn't get anything from us zero but he doesn't need us he doesn't get anything from us does just for the sake of his love for us this maid and that we're learning in the of P we talk about AEM comes from how much he gives to us how much he gives to us and how much he cares about us and everything isem sh that's really the type of love that we're trying to get for a warm comfortable type of feeling to be able to relay to the person for who he is similar to how we understand our love for our children but the more you are loving and you give over to that person just because he is him or just because she is her you live to and you try to give to that person as much as you can you're not your comes from there a person who has a real affection for someone else is happy to give that person a present with no returns I'm happy to give you a surprise happy to buy you that little ring that I knew you were looking for I know I'm happy to give you a little bit of a surprise which is it could be just n you know almonds outside in a place or flowers or chocolates or anything that you know that that's specific person enjoys and you the from that AA the point comes from you from The Giver not necessarily from the taker I'm going to give you a prime example of this and when this we coming to a close where I was able to witness this you know in my Sho about a decade ago there was a person who was there who was very into giving Little V little kabas for kiru for people who were non-religious and he was helping them out getting them back on the D one time I noticed a certain guy there he was you know in his upper 20s or whatever it was and I said he was very into the she and he was very exasperated about the whole entire situation I spoke to the rebi on the side once after nobody when nobody was around after hours and I asked him what's with this boy when he looks very you know into it and he seems very you know on on the on the right path he told me an unbelievable story he said let me tell you about this guy again this is here in erit Israel this guy is a top football soccer player he plays an unbelievable game he's so good that he was a center he was a prime player for one of these bab teams somewhere in this country don't remember which one I really could care less he was playing for babe and he was making a very nice parosa and if I could also point out that's basically what this types of people that's usually what their p is nothing else and as he's being when he's getting stronger he he got into a tremendous query a pickle he wasn't sure what to do because unfortunately unfortunately even here in Israel sometimes these soccer players have to play on Shabbat anyway so he didn't know what to do should he continue the game so the r was speaking to me a little bit in and I went through all the well can he get a hotel nearby yeah he actually could we were discussing if there was ways you know to get around because he wasn't holding yet at making the jump into the deep end to be able to completely relinquish everything that was the question that was asked as we were uh discussing the concept I spoke to him about a certain idea and he actually went through with it this was again a little bit over 10 years ago he went to the great Raj ysf this uh player went with his rebi with this R and they went to Raj to ask about the situation there's going to be an arove what's the grass you're you're next to the hotel Raji YF looked at him in the eye after after he asked the question and gave as everybody knows his cute little slap that he used to give when he would see people in a very beloved way and he started quoting from here for about five minutes he was quoting every M every PK every line in the gar that had to do with the idea ofat all the while slap slap slap back and forth slap slap slap back and forth I was hearing the story I'm like oh man what happened thereo that must have been a very uh traumatic experience he said he walked outside of the of the kesim he walked outside of the office of Raj and that was the whole speech that was it he walked outside and the the the boy said I feel like I just went to the Mikvah I feel like I was just purified I became a pure soul and he threw it off and he said forget about it I'm never playing another game again he went and he left the league in order to become M again what kind of parnasa these guys going to get this is his parasa it wasn't that he was the most educated person in the world but this is the beauty that sometimes of real a real comes from self-sacrifice from you giving just like we say the parents love their children because they give them their whole life so to realm is not so much to see what hm's giving me if it's the par it's the it's a zim and of course we're always asking for we Dove it and we want it and we want to have that relationship with K and it definitely helps and it's yes a type of AA and I'm not denying that of course the sa brings that as the first type of AA but he says the type of AA and this is written in many many of the for is way above that and that's the a of just loving a because of his greatness for who he is and what I can give to him suddenly I see a piece of myself in him suddenly there's a magnetic pull between between us suddenly I feel that much more connected the second I'm willing to leave some of my comfort zones to make a certain type of sacrifice to be able to learn a few extra minutes when I really didn't expect it or to go ahead and in a place when I find myself out on a trip and there's no real kosher food but there's that half a heure with the o r on it you know the Orthodox rabut for the O so and I go ahead and I mid and I override that Yara or when I'm dealing with a business deal and I just have to pull a couple strings not straight check air just a little bit of this a little bit of that a little bit of stray honesty and suddenly I'm going to find myself making of cutting a very good deal or when I feel that need to just get angry get upset or to blow or to somehow break some of my midot in the household when someone is giving me just a little bit too much criticism or someone's bothering me too much or when it's time to be able to get out of bed and whether it's going to make it for minion on time or not those extra 5 minutes we all know oh the pillow is so plush there's nothing juicier than the pillow at early in the morning when it's da when it's time to get up when it's not time to get up it's not comfortable it's da when that alarm clock goes off wow how comfortable it is those minutes are that's those sacrifices that's where real love of will come from that's coming that's really building the connection the used to say that to die on that's not necessarily the Kun that that's not the ideal that's not the the the fabric the the cream of the crop like our cousins the Arabs like to do rather he says to live on to live by he said now that's that's something to live by to be able to live on to be able to make those needs to sacrifice sometimes my personal interest to be able to do it that's the real Ava that's called an that's a real AA which is without any outside factors and even in times when I don't understand what's going on in my life specifically in the times when the parosa is not there specifically in the times when the bre is not there a little bit of problems financially or healthwise or the shid are just not going as I expected I raised my daughter so perfect and I'm still stuck I don't understand what I'm doing wrong and here it is schy she's been going his daughter went out two months and already she got a top what's going on here on that we say every day don't just have in mind you know a little bit of but have in mind the any anything that gives me even when it's uncomfortable over there and specifically over there that is where I want to give to that's that's real that's the sacrifice that's what we're learning over here by when we went out of we realized that we're and he is our tati and he's our we love him we love him why why do you love your father because he's your father not necessarily more because he's giving you things you might already be an adult and he's not giving you a penny you might he might be an 80-year-old man which you have to roll him around in a wheelchair and give him an extra room in the house but you love him because he's tati he's your father and it doesn't make a difference and that is the real understanding of our father of our relationship with a that goes over and Beyond any boundaries you should know with and when even when it's not you should still know that line over there is yes always loves you and he's always L you and it's even when it's even when it's not on the Realms that you were expecting why [Music]