Should of Done More - R. Naftali Zions - TorahAnytime.com

do chuva when the is still yours. Don't push it off until a person dies because then you will feel bad and there's nothing you can do about it. So now for the story. So my father was was not well just a little background. My father no I I don't believe that anyone is a quote unquote simple balabus. My father was not a simple valus. My father worked he was a IT director but he was extremely learned. He's he he was bar and and he was even offered um various times a position as a mag and so on. He he turned it down. He didn't feel it was his calling but uh his kusas are are named brand rashivas that you could probably uh if I mentioned you you would know when he was in yes that's that's who his friends were and so on. In fact by his um not um when I was sitting shiva some very well-known Russas came in. I was I was a little surprised actually but you know people he grew up with and friends of his and so my father was was bar accomplished but he was like I said he was a balabos that's that's that's how he uh he he worked every day and and and soas but fine a little bit before he passed so I live out of town my family's from New York and uh I live in Memphis Tennessee so we knew that it was getting close so the whole family we all got in the car and we drove 1,000 miles. We got to New York and I spent a couple of days there uh with my family and at one point I was discussing with my father a certain shear that I was going to give and so on. And at this point he he wasn't well he was physically not well mentally he was there but sometimes we weren't sure hit or miss. I was telling him about this share that I was going to give and he started to cry. Yeah. Can you imagine? I'm telling him yeah this this thing is coming up and this year she and he started to cry. So I said, "Thy what is everything okay?" So he like kind of looked down and he said, "I I should have given that chair." What? Like what what do you like what like I'm in Memphis? Like what are you talking about? Like it's I said like I was I was concerned like what what do you mean? So frankly I was concerned for for his lucidity and I asked him like what just what do you mean? And he was very clearly he looked at me and he said, "Of course I'm not going to give that share. Of course I'm not going to give that share. That's your share. I I don't mean that. But I wish I wish I would have given the share. I wish I would have." And he started to cry again. It's it was it was a gut punch. It was a gut punch because like I said, my father was not an unaccomplished individual. He he learned a lot and he had more than cave eat. He had a family to provide for and and and and the pressures that that takes. But that feeling knowing that the end is near, looking back and saying, "I should have done more, more aoda, more Torah, more The alter.