Only How You React - R. Tzvi Sytner - TorahAnytime.com

years ago I was living in New York and uh there was a certain G very very wealthy balabas was not a fir person um but a great guy and he asked to meet with me so we sit down I don't really know him very well at the time we sit down and uh his face looked troubled something he looked he looked like something was wrong we sit down we start talking and he starts to tell me about a situation that he's in where a family member of his is trying to ruin his life equally as financially powerful as he is and I could see on his face his teeth are CL clenched and as he's telling me this story and he's he's so mad he starts to like tear up and he's got like tears like but holding back but so you see he's fuming and this person's trying to ruin his life out of jealousy it was out of jealousy and I and he says to me I I said I said so so like what's happening I see you're very he said I don't understand he says my whole life I build hospitals schools synagogues he says I'm involved with acts of kindness good I do I spend my whole life dedicated to doing good things and this is what I get in return at the end of my life this is what I get heartache humiliation pain and suffering he said this is not the way life was supposed to play out this is not the way life is supposed to be I don't deserve this and I looked at him and I said when he finally calmed down I said so you're you're angry because of what this person's doing to you he said yeah I said like you're angry because at because they're doing this to you and there's you you Tred to stop but you can't he goes yes I said many times in your life you were able to resolve things take care of things if someone need to be you know financially you can resolve an issue he says correct I said and here you can't he says no I was making him angry he was getting angrier I said so let me just so I understand I said so you're get you're really you're you're eating yourself up I said over this what this person's doing to you he goes yeah I said and it's and you realize it's something you can't do anything about it goes yes I said but there's nothing you can do about it he goes no I said so you're really angry and your life you feel is falling apart and you are fuming about something that you have absolutely no saying and there's nothing you can do he said right and I saw like as he said that there was a certain like release like there was this like I guess so and I said to him you know when when something difficult happens in life initially we're shocked by it we're angered by it then we begin to accept that this is the reality we're saddened by it maybe there's more anger again I said but there comes a point when it's something that you have absolutely no control over where you realize you didn't ask for this this is something that came to you this is happen to you I said and you have a choice once you realize that it's out of your control of how you're going to interact with with what's being given to you how are you going to embrace accept interpret reframe what you can't do anything about cuz you can't control that you can only control this sometimes in life we can we can do something we can we can stop it we can talk to some we can intervene we could but sometimes you can't