Torah Yerushalayim: Rav Kook and the Therapeutic Power of Speech | Rabbi Ari Zev Shwartz

to introduce my Tom Cav um Rabbi Ariv Schwarz. How many years ago was it that we were interactive? >> At least 15 years, right? >> Wow. So before I came to the OU, I had the scoot to be one of the faculty members at Yeshiva Oita in the old city as well as to oversee their affiliated program for aspiring educators. One of the first graduates of that program for aspiring educators is Raari Zv Schwarz. Habari Zach Schwarz uh who made Aliyah from Australia is the author of the spiritual revolution of Rafkuk, writings of a Jewish mystic and the spiritual wisdom of Rufk a new collection of writings published through Gethan and Urim respectively. In addition, he has written several other books on the meaning of Shabbat prayer and the para. Currently, Rabbi Schwarz teaches at several inim, but he is most well known for making the beautiful teachings of Moreno Rafuk accessible to the English speaking world. It's a great source and a great source of nas for me to be able to introduce Raaris Schwarz and Rabbi Rabbi Schwarz this evening is dedicated in the merit of a speedy recovery for Zev Wolf Ben for Rafu. Okay. Can everyone hear me? >> Yes. >> Okay. Well, Rabbi Shaw already told you where I'm from. >> Um, can you guess from my accent which city in Australia? That's not so easy. >> Sydney. >> Sydney. Yeah. >> You're well traveled. >> No, it's the only place I go in Australia. Um so uh what I've been asked to talk about tonight is uh the writings of Raf Cook on uh would relate to Rasha Shana. So I thought what we could do is we could study Ruff Cook's writings together rather than me talk about Ruff Cook. Um I wanted to tell you just a little story how I got into the writings of Ruff Cook. Why I'm even up here standing here tonight. Yeah. I have a book here. >> Okay. So, this is a book um that I published about 10 years ago. I want to tell you a little story of how it how it got published. It's quite strange and then we can start studying the writings inside of the book. So, when I was uh 20 years old, I came to um Israel and I flipped out. You know what that means? I totally went from one extreme to the next and um I was not looking like this and really changed my whole life around and I basically spent eight years in Shiva. Um I grew up in the modern orthodox world. This is the world I know. This is the world I grew up in. But those eight years I really went on a very intense um journey and about in the third year of yeshiva I remember going up to one of my rabbis Rashiva and I said to him um why don't we study Ravkok's writings in any of these yeshivot I remember his name growing up and seeing his picture on the walls in my school and so he saidur forbidden >> wow >> so I said llama why and he said he's dangerous So that is the best way to invite someone to learn Rakook's writings >> and that's exactly what I started doing. I remember that week I started cutting my classes in the yeshiva in the morning and I would go to Kon which is in the Arab quarter in the old city and I would go learn from Ainer Rafuk's writings and I remember immediately something in his writings started really balancing me out and bringing me back to uh me and my own real deep connection to Eritel to Amishel to Hashem and um so then I remember I remember the following year where I met Rabbi Shaw And he said to me, uh, not him, but I remember one of the rabbis there, Raf and Rabbini, um, they said, you know, we would like you to teach in this yeshiva. And I said, uh, what do you want me to teach? They said, whatever you want. So I thought, I just want to teach Ruff Cook. That's all I want to do right now. But back then, I didn't know how to teach Ruff Cook. So I just got a piece of R cook in Hebrew. And I remember bringing it to the class of 18 year olds. And we read maybe the first line, and the Hebrew is so difficult. The whole class was basically up. And I thought, "This is a disaster. I don't want to teach her off cook anymore." But but then I thought, "Maybe there's another way to teach RV cook instead of spending the whole time trying to figure out his Hebrew. Um maybe I'll I'll I'll bring in a translation." So I remember the next year I had translated a few pieces of Ruff Cook and put headings on them. Um and thought, "Okay, let's try this out. Maybe it'll be better." And immediately I think we were studying 10 pieces of Rough Cook every class. um we must have got through 300 400 pieces of rough cook every year. Um and I really started seeing inside of myself and inside of my students a huge transformation and people started having an independent relationship to Ruff Cook. It wasn't just depended on me. Um and then somebody said to me, maybe you should put those writings um in a book and I thought I don't want to put it in a book. I would like to just learn it with um learn it with my students. >> Yeah, I need one. Um, >> anyway, so somebody >> There they are. >> So, somebody said, "I think you should put it in a bookstore." And I said, "I don't want to put it in a bookstore. It's not worth it. They're just for me and my students." Anyway, so somebody dared me and said, "I'm going to print it for you. We're going to put it in one bookstore." So I remember a few weeks later um I was had a meeting with Geon Publishing House and they said we want to publish this book. We think it will help a lot of people. So it was really an accident the way um this book got put into the world. I wasn't even intending to write it. It wrote itself and it got into bookstores just because um somebody dared me to do it. Um the writings we're going to be learning tonight um are a combination from this book and another book that was just published this year which has another 300 400 pieces of rough cook um on different themes. I want you to know that these writings really dear to me. I only put them in the book cuz they really affected me and they affected my students. Um so I'm excited to learn them with you. Um the topic we're going to learn tonight is the therapeutic power of words. Raf Cook writes a lot about dur andika when to speak and when to be silent. Um so come let's learn together. Okay so the first piece is from Katim of Cook writes the deeper a person is the more one needs to search inside of oneself. This person's understanding oneself is hidden due to the great depth of their soul. One needs to spend a lot of time alone be hit by a doot elevating one's thoughts deepening one's opinions and freeing one's mind. By doing this one's soul will eventually reveal itself. A ray a small ray of light will shine forth from the enormous illumination of one's soul. Okay. So let's stop and think about this piece. I want to relate this to Rashana. In this piece Ravuk is encouraging you to spend time alone. He uses the word. Now usually people use the word like and connected to Rabbi Ahmed. But the way Rav Cook uses it is it doesn't just mean prayer. It could also mean literally just private time away from the noise of the world. And Rav Cook thinks the more you spend time privately alone, the more you get to know yourself. So for Rashashana, I think this is a essential lesson and it's connected to what we were learning upstairs. Um sometimes we get kind of distracted by the noise of the the food and and all the entertainment of rashash shana but we don't spend any time alone in rashana cook really thinks if you want to go through a huge transformation you need to do hoot so it doesn't mean you need to go to a forest um and you need to go scream to god um which is kind of the way rabbi nakman talks about hod but the way cook would want us to use it is you have to have moments of privacy private spirituality um on rash sha that could be anything from waking up early on rash shana morning and getting to shore a little bit before everyone and just sitting down calmly and thinking about what do I want the upcoming year to be. It could also be on the way home. You know, I always think that the walk to the shore and back from the shore are some of the most meaningful moments um of dvening because you're reflecting. Um, it could be also late at night, everyone's gone to sleep and it's just you, Hashem, a book. And just really ask yourself, what type of person do I want to be in the upcoming year? Moments of privacy are hard to find on Russia Shana cuz there's so much happening there. amazing food, amazing guests coming over, amazing doubling, but you need a bit of time alone, you know, and and so I think what's beautiful about these few pieces we're going to read now is it's Raf Cook really saying even though Zionism and Army Israel is very collective, we have to give back to ourselves and uh I do think Russia Shana have to have moments of real privacy. Okay, let's read the next piece. Now the next piece is um from Kalatim also an oreshook writes there are moments when a person feels that one's soul has entered into the in depths such a person is deeply focused on one's internal essence the external world has no effect on them at all this person is attached to the inner depths of solitude if another person comes along and looks upon him from afar this person will not know what is happening inside of his soul This outside person may judge him very negatively. Why is this person not being social? Why has he distanced himself from people? Why has everything the world and all of life become alien to him? However, in the true depths of this person's soul, he feels a great unifying harmony. He feels a deep goodness inside. The inner peace that the entire world is searching for, this person is currently experiencing inside of himself. Such a person is truly dwelling in the highest consciousness of the world. In fact, it may even be possible that this powerful energy of life contained inside of this person is actually affecting society without their knowledge is having a greater effect on the world than all of the loud demonstrations. Okay, we're going to get to the second paragraph in a second. In in the first paragraph of this piece, Raf Cook says that there's always this feeling like I'm being antisocial. That's the Yates. That's the thing that prevents us from spending time alone. If I go away from people, away from my family in Rashan, I'm being antisocial. But Rafuk says it's not necessarily an antisocial movement. He'd better do it spending time alone for the sake of the world. I need to go away from the world so that when I come back to the world, I'll be a better calmer version of myself. For example, if my kids um I have, thank God, three beautiful kids. And if they are, you know, asking me non-stop, aba, aba, aba, I need your help. Can you cook this? Aba, can you clean for me this? Aba, can you help me with my homework? And I'm drained by that energy. If I don't take some time away from people, away from my kids, I'm actually going to lose control. I'm going to feel resentment. I'm going to get irritated, and I actually won't be a very present, helpful father. So time away from my children for the sake of my children. That is really what is trying to say to us here. So in Rashashana there have to be moments where I move away from the public energy so that when I go back into the world for the rest of the year I know who I am, what I believe in and the type of goals that I want to accomplish. Does that make sense? >> How do women get that? I'm just curious. >> How do women get that? I actually think in terms of it's easier. I teach in seminaries as well as Yeshiva. I I always feel I always say I'm jealous of the girls that I teach in seminaries because there's no there's no obligation to pray in minan. Um I understand you your critique is about the family inside the helm. But from either side, you know, a man would say, "Hey, I have to be around people all the time when I pray. Where's the privacy?" And then the woman would say, "Where, you know, where's the privacy? I'm always with the family at home." Um I I will say I'm a very hands-on parent, so it definitely applies to me. Hey, where's the time? But no, I tell my kids I need to go into my room right now. I need some time alone. Um and and I do think it takes a lot of self-control and self-discipline to say I'm not going to give to you right now so that I can give to you more later on and and it's hard to do. Yeah, you have a question. >> Playing on so >> you know what that is definitely a very famous cabalistic idea that Ruff Cook knew. Well, he doesn't say it here but yeah that's a similar idea. >> You repeat the question. The question was is Cook uh you know his idea rooted in a cabalistic idea called and I said I'm sure it is just in terms of applying this right now in my life. I was thinking today I was so sick and I went to the doctor and he checked me for every single type of virus. I couldn't find any virus. I said but I'm so sick. Give me a virus. Tell me I have a virus. Um and he said no there's nothing wrong with you. I said I I'm exhausted, feel very tired. And he said, just rest. I said, but I have this speaking event tonight. He said, rest so that you'll be better tonight. So that's kind of what we are learning right now. Go away so that you'll be more energized. And I do feel more energized. >> Thank you. Okay. So let's go to the next paragraph. Now the next paragraph is quite remarkable. You have a question before we go in. >> I do agree. I he the question was or the statement was you can do this even in governing. I do think you're right. Obviously in the rash shana itself inside of a minyan you can just stand there and close your eyes and really have a real private moment. On the other hand I often say that it's the highest or most um practical way of doing this is physically to go away from people and not just um emotionally intellectually. Um there are many many secret places um you know all around Jerusalem that you can go little forests that I found at Gansak I live near. There are many special place you can just go for a walk um and a little walk for 10 minutes on rashash shana away from people wow it could make your whole rash shana okay let's read the next paragraph just as this principle is correct concerning an individual person so to it is correct concerning an entire nation when the Jewish people enters inside of itself it feels a great fullness nation is able to build its own world and does not need to chase after all the loud noises of the world instead the Jewish people becomes refreshed crushed. Its life pulsates with strength and it recognizes its own power. The nation transforms the world through transforming itself. The current time period of building is chaotic. The desires of the nation change from one moment to the next. When the various national proposals are not enough to comprehend the inner happiness of strengthening the national internal spirit, then the nation's thoughts focus only on the outside world. The nation searches for happiness but does not find it. At the present moment, our task is to strengthen the inner spirit of the Jewish people to concentrate on using all of its talents, both internal and external. The insights gained from this inner concentration will lead to feeling of peace. As it says, embrace it and he will see how good is his resting place. This is quite a remarkable paragraph. Usually the word hippodit which means spending time alone is used referring to an individual person. Rafuk actually applies this in this piece not only to the individual but to the national. So for example when Cook wrote this the Jewish people were coming back to Israel right this is the early 1900s so he thought that Zionism is one big hit the Jewish people need to go away from the non-Jewish world and get to know itself who do we want to be as a nation okay what language should we speak they were literally debating what language should we speak we have to speak our own language loes Hebrew Irit we have to come back to our own land we have to literally you know come back to our own people our own Torah So hu could also apply on a national level. This rash shana how can I focus myself on who do the Jewish people want to be in the upcoming year. Okay. Not does what does America want us to do? Not what does the United Nations want us to be. Who do we want to be as a nation? And that is also a type of prayer. Who am I as a nation? It's very hard when we're always listening to what other people think the Jewish people should be and what decisions we should make. So really I would say this is like a revolutionary idea about hibod is the turn back to the self but it can also be applied on a national level. Okay the prime minister of Israel shouldn't just think what will the rest of the countries think if I make this decision. Obviously that's important but what do we actually want to accomplish as a nation? Who are the Jewish people? Okay, we're not coming back to Israel just to run away from the non-Jews. We're coming back to Israel because we're running to ourselves. Who do we want to be? And I think that's a really remarkable insight into Zionism. Zionism is one big. Okay. Um we're going to go on and talk about Dbor now. Okay. I don't know um how much more time. I don't want to run out of time because I really want to get to the end. Um so why don't we turn to the the next page? When we have time, we'll come back to that other piece. >> You should just know that every piece of Ruff Cook, I really think it has just endless layers of meaning. So, we're just skimming the surface. I've spent the last 15 years of my life um going through these writings with my students and every year I feel like they're just there's more layers and more layers and it's like a good movie or a good song. You know, you listen to it again and again and again and it actually gets deeper and then there's more layers. Okay, so let's uh let's go to the second piece on the page. Self transformation through spoken words. This is from um Olaraya. So Rav Cook writes, "Saying words out loud has a powerful effect on one's life. When a word is spoken, great light emerges with it. The deeper one pierces into the worlds of prayer, the greater the power of light that they will bring and the more influence they will have to create change. The clearer the expression, the clearer the light and the more focus its effect. The words become reality and is impossible. The prayer will have no result." Wow, what a piece of RV cook. One of the things that I love about this piece is RV cook has this 100% faith in the power of words and prayer. He doesn't think maybe prayer works. He says it does work. Question is how. But he does believe it works. So the question of how is the first line saying words out loud has a powerful effect on one's life. If cook thinks every single time you say a word it affects not just yourself not just the people around you but the all of existence. So let's take the example of lash haram. If you speak negative about someone you're putting negative energy negative consciousness into the world. If you're literally speaking to someone the losh it affects them. You're speaking it affects you and obviously the person you're speaking about hopefully they won't get hurt too much but they're definitely being hurt by it. Okay. The the the says there are three people who are damaged by the person who speaks about it, the person who is spoken about and the person who hears it. Which of the three according to gets damaged the most? >> Not the one who spoke. He doesn't say that though it would have made sense. >> Probably the one who heard it. >> The one who heard it. Exactly. Why does he say that? He says that because the one who spoke it, that's his opinion anyway. So he wasn't that affected by speaking. Obviously, it's bad to do. The person who was spoken about, obviously they're going to be damaged by it, but they're not there. But the the person who's just listening before that moment, they didn't have a negative perception of that other person. Now, because of those words they heard, because of that negativity that was put in their ears, it they can never ever go back to looking at that person in the same way. Even if they try and convince themselves, has a lot of writings where he says, "Oh, you have to try and convince yourself it was just their opinion." It's very hard to do. Does everyone know that the was Rav Cook's family friend? They're actually spent a lot of time with each other and when Rafk was a boy used to come to Rafuk's house and literally sell his own books books to Rafuk's father and he he got to know Rafuk as a little boy and as he got older and older he said to Rafuk you know you should you should be a rabbi and Rafuk said I don't want to be a rabbi I just want to study Torah which was what was normal in that time period and uh it was actually frowned upon to be a rabbi it was considered like superficial you should be inside the bait Midash, why are you trying to go out in the world? And so the said took um you're so talented and you have so much to give um when the community's needs and your needs, you should pick the community needs over you. So that is actually one of the main reasons why became a rabbi um because of the so I like putting up the here because he really was a real early influence on Cook's thoughts. Okay, one more thing about this piece. He says it in the last line, the words become reality and is impossible the prayer will have no result. So just like if I speak negatively about someone and the person is listening, it immediately affects them. It's not maybe it affects them. It does affect them. Okay? If I right now will start talking bad about some politician or tell you some piece of juicy information about some rabbi that you didn't know he did that, there's no way you're going to go back to thinking about in the same way. So so too with prayer. Rafuk really believes that the way prayer works isn't Hashem will maybe listen to you or won't listen to you. That's I wouldn't say an immature way of understanding prayer but that's only one way of looking at prayer. Another way of looking at prayer is God has given us that every time we open our mouth we literally transform and shape reality. So is an exercise in using that power. So when I say in the morning, Hashem, I really want to send a raffl to this person. I'm literally sending waves of positivity of rafu to this person. It affects reality right now. The question obviously will be will it heal them or not, it definitely will have a positive effect on them. Maybe in this world, in next world, but it definitely will affect them. Okay? And if a person doesn't get better from the specific sickness that you prayed for, that's about being humble. In other words, Hashem ultimately will use your prayer the way Hashem wants to use your prayer. He knows more than us. We have to be humble. But will it affect them in a positive way? 100%. Rafuk has a certainty. It's not a maybe. Okay. So, walking into Rashashana with this mindset, I think is very powerful that I can actually do something with my prayers. Not maybe, it will do something. If I want to focus on some person or some event or some important goal of the Jewish people and I spend two three hours really talking to Hashem about it according to Rafuk that is going to bring that into reality. It's going to affect it in a way that it wouldn't have happened if you wouldn't have prayed. Okay. Um, another thing I would say about this piece before we move to the next one is for Raf Cook, God is not like someone in the sky that you have to convince and then when you convinced him, he changes his opinion. God already wants your prayers to be answered. God has literally given you the mitzvah to pray. Okay? So, it's not like a tugofwar that I'm going to convince God and then he'll have to do it. Hashem wants us to use our words to transform reality. So, when I read these words in our cook, I hear like a lot of encouragement. You know the clearer the expression the clearer the light the more focused effect. If you focus on something on rash and you really really spend hours on one person on one important goal you're going to have a different year. Okay Arouch who wrote a very famous book called garden of he gives the following metaphor of how prayer works. So he says imagine if someone gave you 100 shekels and you go to the maulet you go to the corner store and you buy 100 things for one shekele each you can't get something very good for one shekele but if you spend the whole 100 shekels on one thing so then you might be able to get something of quality so so too with prayer says a lot of time we pray one minute on this thing one minute on that thing one minute on that thing it doesn't really have a big effect but if you would spend in a my hour, two hours just on one person, on one goal has a huge effect on the rest of the year. Does that make sense? Okay, we're going to go to the next um piece. >> I gave the example of Rafua spending a long time focusing on someone getting better. really do believe based on of Cook's writings and I I also think this is a a truth about how words work that they do affect people if you spend a lot of time um praying about them. Uh, another example could be about yourself and we're going to get that in the next few pieces about psychology something else you know finishing then you go walk somewhere for an hour and I agree they're two separate things in other words going off is one thing but I think the second half in other words we just spent a little bit of time about the importance of going alone now I'm moving towards speech this can be applied to both the itself inside the shore as well as when you go for a walk. Could be both. It's a good question. Okay, so let's read the next piece. So this is from when one's soul's elevated one begins to feel the incredible power of dour of speech. Such a person truly understands the significance of every spoken word of every prayer and blessing of every teaching and conversation. This person perceives the great importance of all forms of speech and senses how the development of the world and all of its changes are a result of speech. Now, when Cook wrote this in the early 1900s, there was no such thing as Twitter and the internet. But that's exactly what he's describing. He's describing how the world literally changes based on words. Okay? The president of the United States tweets something, the whole world is talking about it. It's not a metaphor of Cook's talking about today. This is a real fact. Words shift reality. How did Hitler come into power? With evil words. He created the Holocaust with evil words. Okay. Martin Luther King Jr. He created civil rights through beautiful, holy, righteous words. Words are powerful. Okay. This is not loss on me that the fact that I spend almost all of my life writing or speaking. Um words are very very real. Okay. You go to a therapist, you spend 45 minutes there and you give them I don't know how much you pay spend your pay to your therapist but I pay good amount of money. Let's say 500 shekels for one session. You know what happens? You get changed by their words. And sometimes by the way get changed by your words. He doesn't even speak or she doesn't even speak. What happened in that session? 45 minutes. What am I paying you for? For words. And you know what? They work. If someone can help you speak really powerful, honest um vulnerable words, wow, you can be a different person after those 45 minutes. So too in Rashashana. Okay, look at look at look at this first line. When one's soul is elevated, one begins to feel the incredible power of speech. Ravuk is encouraging us to become more sensitive to how words affect us. Don't think it's a small thing that Rashashana should be spent speaking words. Why not spend Rashashana doing actions? Come on, actions speak louder than words. No, Hashem wants us to spend a whole day, two days speaking words. Also think this is not just about prayer. What are you going to speak at the at the rashashana table? What are you what are you going to speak politics? Are you going to speak about the news? Or are you going to say these are the goals for the year? I know I'm going to do with my family. I'm going to literally ask them, do you have any goals for the upcoming year? I'm going to ask my 10-year-old, "What would you like the the upcoming year to be?" And if she starts saying, "Oh, it's going to be the same." I said, "I dare you to say something positive. I want you to try and use your words to do something today." And it's not. And we often think, "Oh, that must be something mystical." But today, because of psychology and because of the internet, it's quite I think it's quite easy for us in our generation to see how words are real. Okay? Okay. They're not just in, you know, when Freud started um charging people uh for therapy, people thought he was a mystic. That's what they called him as a as an insult. You know, a mystic. You're talking about all these things inside of us, all this unconscious. How do we know this stuff is real? But today, the majority of the world believes that therapy works. Um words can change. Okay? You can literally get sued um for speaking lies about somebody's life. Okay? Um, there was a case a few years ago. I don't want to go into all the details, but there was a very famous actor. Um, and somebody lied and said some terrible, terrible things that he did and they went to court and I think he sued the person who said it $10 million and won the case for lying, using words to destroy someone's life. It's criminal act. Okay, words are real. This is what's so empowering about what we're reading right now. Rashashana is a day to spend speaking positive, empowering, honest words, not just in Davening, but also to your family at home. Okay, let's go to the next piece. Does any have any questions on any of these pieces before we go on? >> We're scared of using our words. >> You should be excited. But you know what? Be scared and speak. >> I do. >> Okay. Let's now read about not speaking. Okay. I brought two pieces at the end here about how Rav Cook is actually worried that sometimes we speak too much and there are sometimes in our life where it actually be better to have okay silence. So let's see what a cook says about silence. So these pieces are from um this new book that I published this year um which there's a whole chapter on dourika speech verse silence. So cook this is from the greatness of silence and its connection with ruesh the holy spirit comes about due to an inner explosion from the wellspring of the soul. This inner spirit requests expansion to a place without any external pressure. emit inner aloneeness is a very serious thing. It needs time to expand without any worldly disturbances. When this happens, the soul creates its value and uniqueness from its own inner strength. The spiritual light, the beauty of life, and its root power becomes stronger and stronger. Speaking words at such a moment disrupts one's inner building. It takes from the old from what is already blurry, dark, and limited. Speaking gets in the way of the fresh stream that yearns for newness and freshness. Just as there is silence in relationship to speaking, so too there is silence in relationship to thoughts. Okay. So let's let's go back to the first few lines of this piece and try and analyze it. If Cook thinks the reason why we need silence is because of an inner explosion inside of ourselves and he says in the next line the this inner spirit request expands to a place without any external pressure. here is referring to is when you go through a very intense experience and speaking about it immediately you may actually overreact. You may say something you're going to regret. Let's say you have a fight with someone that you love. Maybe silence is the best best response. Wait, go eat something. Sleep on it. Then think how do I want to articulate this to them? How do I want to communicate myself? That's one way to understand rough cookook. You need a little bit of calmness calls it like this inner quietness. On the other hand, trauma could be another reason why you would need silence, not just because you got into a fight. So for example, mourning, you know, the laws of mourning of a there's a when you go to sit Shiva with someone and they're the one mourning, you're not supposed to speak to them unless they want to speak. You have to respect their silence. And um silence in that way is a way to heal because right now they don't know what to say. It's too hard for them to process what they're going through. And Hashem um in his rahim is encouraging people to let people um be quiet and let people be silent. Um I know for myself and I've gone through my own share of pain. I'm sure everyone in this room has as well. Um I remember this one time I went through something very painful and I didn't want to speak for 6 months. I remember that feeling of just not wanting to talk at all. Okay. And people would say, "How are you going?" I'm like, "I don't want to talk about it." They say, "Why you're not processing it?" No, I'm processing it. I need to just be quiet right now. There'll be a time of for right now. Need to be quiet. So, in that sense, Rafuk is trying to train us. One of the ways to transform ourselves is actually to have some silence inside. Now, in terms of rashashana, I just gave this whole um you know, speech about how we should use words, but also in Rashashana, be careful. Remember I was I was in this one yeshiva and remember the rashish shiva used to say don't get angry and say something rude on rashash shana just don't be mean to someone. So that's another way to apply this piece on rash shana. If someone you know is rude to you on rashashana if somebody says something or or does something that's very hurtful really really ask yourself is this the time to overreact is this the time to say to them how you feel in the present moment or maybe go for a walk. Okay, go eat something. Go eat some apple and honey, you know, get a bit of sweetness and then when you're ready, come back. I have no doubt that my kids are going to get underneath my skin. So, Shana, I actually don't have any doubt if they're watching. Um, because that's what you have when you have a family. You step on each other's toes and that's fine cuz that's what it means to be in love that you're always near each other. But not to overreact on Rashashana and not to say something you're going to regret. Um, I have this one friend who told me that his father got angry at him when he was young and he said something really mean to him and he says till this day he still thinks about that mean comment. It's still affecting him. If that father would have just been quiet in that moment, wow would have helped that child. Okay, so silence is so important. Now look at the very last line because the last line is quite u mysterious. Um it's like a con conundrum. We have to figure out what it means. He says just as there is silence in relation to speaking so too there is silence in relation to thoughts. Where of cook is talking about is he's talking about that in your mind you are often very loud and just like literally with your words you need to sometimes quiet down also with your mind you have to quiet it down. What they call in Buddhism the the the monkey mind. The mind is always jumping up and down. There's all these thoughts. So in Rashashana sometimes we go into like panic mode. What am I going to do? I haven't prepared enough and Rafuk is saying you have to go into silence in your mind. You have to calm your mind down. Now one of the best techniques I've ever heard for doing this is not judging your thoughts but just watching them. Okay? When you judge your thoughts it gets louder. So let's say you have a thought like oh my gosh I haven't prepared for Rashashana. I'm going to have a terrible yet. That's a very judgmental. So you just say oh hi judgy. high very scared thought and you just watch the thought and it passes by. In the Panther's writing, five more minutes, two more minutes. In the Persin's writings, he talks here um a little bit about this technique about being able to hashkata from the word like shecket. You have to quiet down your mind. So I think that's what Ruk is referring to here that sometimes there's too much chaos going on inside in Roshashana and you have to just say to yourself, you know what, just like with words, I need to calm down. I need to calm down my thoughts. There are so many techniques that people have written about the PZets in my opinion he's one of the greatest how to teach us how to quiet our mind down but I really think that's what Rashashana should be about. Now we got to wind up the next piece is remarkable but it will have to wait for next time. I want to give everybody a braha that this rash shana you really give yourself the gift of spending time in private alone if it's like I said early in the morning late at night um even inside of dving just really close your eyes and what should you do during that time period you should say positive words that you really want to create for the upcoming year and then if something negative painful happens on remember of cook's lesson about silence if you respect the silence eventually the right words will come out. Okay.