Torah Yerushalayim: Achieving Forgiveness | Mrs. Atara Starr

Welcome everyone. Um I just wanted to introduce you to um Atara Star. Um Atara Star is a beloved educator at Madasha Haroba where she teaches Tana Jewish philosophy and is a mashka guiding students through their year in Israel. Um she's from New York. She studied Bible and Jewish history at Stern College and got a master's in Jewish education from the Israeli graduate school. Uh my aliyah 2011 and now lives in Rico. She is my neighbor. Um she lives there with her husband and her four children. She also is um one of our kavoya teachers at our U O Israel program for young. Um but it's a pleasure to be able to let the rest of you also hear from her words of wisdom. So thank youara. Okay. There was a pile of soria going around. >> I'm going to leave extra shades over here in everybody else. >> Okay. Okay. Thank you for having me. It's a nice to be part of this amazing uh Torah initiative. >> Can you all hear me? >> No. >> Don't like microphones. >> Can you hear me now? >> Yeah. >> No. >> Okay. Um I'd like to open with a Gamarra. Um that left me wondering a little bit. >> There are more sword sheets if you like. >> Feel free to help yourself. um in verse number one on your sheet. Okay. The p as we'll get to later where Hashem introduces to us his 13 attributes of mercy say that passes over Moshe and there says that had this not been written we would not have been able to say it. Mosha. And we learn from this verse that Hashem wrapped himself in a tal as and showed Moshe the of what it looks like to pronounce the as and Hashem turns to Moshe and says every time that the Jewish people sin do this and I will forgive them. And there's a a lot of issues with this kamara and I can't unpack all of them [cough] but I found this very shocking. It seems like a very simple formula. Right here we are in the month of preparing ourselves for yum had to be judged before hashem and all we have to do is wave a little magic wand and say the 13 and we are forgiven. Right? That's like I don't know what all this work was for for the last 30 days. It seems a little bit too easy to be true. And I actually found it quite disturbing that here we are so engrossed in and all these ideas of all these things that I have to put these work into and we're going to come before to be judged. But now Hashem is full of it's it just didn't really make any sense. So what I'd like to do um here is to really unpack a little bit of what this revelation of the fine um what the revelation of the midim are what what really happened put them into context and to try to understand what it is that Hashem is revealing to Moshe through these midot and why this is the solution to our problem why these are the our answer of how to be forgiven. So, in order to do that, we kind of have to backtrack. We need to open up our Tanak brain a little bit and go back into the story of so I'm going to take you back a little bit and give you a little bit of context um of where we are when Hashem reveals that. So, Moshe goes out to he is delayed or soim and they decide to make a golden calf and they're dancing around the calf and what happens? Hashem is very angry and so he tells Moshe, "Go down from this mountain because that nation that you took out of it, they are corrupt and I'm not having it." And Moshe is a little bit hesitant to leave Harai at that point because he knows that the reality is that if he listens then Hashem is actually going to destroy us. So he first puts in a quick little plea and he says, "One second Hashem, remember there's a vote and we don't want to make a Hashem. you took us out of it. The whole world knows what just happened. So, let's, you know, calm down. And Hashem says, "Fine, I'll calm down." But he's still angry. So then Moshe at that point goes down the mountain. He smashes the habit, that covenant that we just made with God on Hari. And then he goes and he destroys the calf and he kills off all the people who did. And we're like one step closer to a little bit of freos. But at this point, Moshe is still concerned. Hashem has not yet forgiven us. The people are a mess. Everybody doesn't know what's happening. So Mosha says, "Let me go ask Hashem for forgiveness." So he goes to speak to Hashem. And what does Hashem tell him? Hashem tells Moshe, "Okay, this is what I'm agreeing to. You can keep going on to Israel, but is taking you instead of me. Okay, no more in your presence. It's you now because they are and I'm tired of it. They're stubborn. They don't listen and I'm not having it." And Moshe is not pleased with this response. And not only is Moshe pleased, this is where we see, right? The nation is really mourning for this loss of Hashem's presence and there's a little bit of like pain and Mosha sees that maybe there's a little bit of hope. So he says, "Okay." And then we get to I think the weirdest part of the story, which I actually really don't have a great explanation for all the details of it. We're going to look at it from a bigger picture. But we enter Perlid Gibl of Sermote and Moshe does a very strange thing. He moves his tent out of the camp. And this is now the place where Moshe will speak Hashem. And he enters into like a philosophical theological debate with God. Sorry, sorry. Right? Like, show me your ways. Tell me who you are. All of our questions about God, we're like waiting for them to be answered. And it's at that point that Hashem says, "Go make a second of and he reveals his 13." So, what just happened? [laughter] something just happened. A lot of things just happened. So, I want to suggest um if you'll allow me that I think there are two main events in all of those series of events that really propelled this this moment of Hashem revealing and that are going to help us understand a little bit about the cha process. And I think those two things more than anything else and not to say that all the stages are definitely important. Those two things are the breaking of the luhot, the actual destruction of the and the fact that Moshe has this deep conversation with God that we actually don't understand. Um to the point that Rafers's entire commentary on Heraclam and Gimmel is tread lightly and do not try to translate this. So I'm not going to try to translate this um because I'm a big Rep fan and I would not dare. Um, but we are going to try to understand a little bit of what happens there when Moshe leaves the camp and starts to engage directly with God because that seems to be a significant turning point. Um, and we're going to work backwards because I think once we understand that we might be able to understand a little bit of why Moshe broke the and how we got to these mid. So, Rabbi Sax has an absolutely beautiful explanation of what happens when Moshe starts to engage with God. If we think about um if we think about the moment that everything starts to shift and really get messed up is the minute that the people think that Moshe is missing, right? Their leader is missing. They don't know where Moshe is, they're feeling lost without him. He has been their guiding light in many ways and Moshe is not there. And Mosha's absence seems to create space for sin. And it seems to be that's the language that Hashem is using. Go down. Your nation has sin, right? your your people. Um, and it's the only time that Hashem calls them, right? It's not my nation anymore. It's yours, Moshe, right? Your people have sinned. You're not there and you need to take responsibility. And the truth is, it's exactly that's exactly what Moshe does. He goes down the mountain and he takes responsibility. He engages and he breaks the lood. He destroys the calf. Like, he does it all. But then once they're like past that point where he's like shown up for the people and he's done what he's supposed to do, says Rabbi Saxs, Moshe does an unbelievable thing. He moves his tent and he starts to talk to God and he says, "One second, this is not working. What's not working?" Take a look at verse number two. He Moshe was in effect saying to God, "What the people need is not for me to be close to them. I am just a human here today, gone tomorrow. You are eternal. You are their God. They need you to be close to them. Right? I've done my part. I have been with them. I went. I stepped in. Where are you? The people don't know the you that I have gotten to know. Right? Rabbi Sax says it was as if Moshe is saying until now they have experienced you as a terrifying elemental force, delivering plague after plague to the Egyptians, bringing the world's greatest empire to its knees, dividing the sea, overturning the very order of nature itself. at Mount Si nearly hearing your voice. They were so overwhelmed that they said if we continue to hear the voice we will die. The people needed said Moshe to experience not the greatness of God but the closeness of God. Not God heard in thunder and lightning at the top of the mountain but as a perpetual presence in the valley below. Right? Our experience of Hashem from the moment we were revealed Moshe revealed himself as God's emissary in Mitim has been incredibly intense. plagues, thunder, lightning, death, right? Massive miracles. We're we're seeing God in his greatest element. This omnipotent God, this omnisient God, everything amazing about God except for the FACT THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. WE DON'T KNOW THAT YET. WE HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED THAT. NOT ONCE. That is why Moshe removed his tent and pitched it outside the camp as if to say to God, "It is not my presence the people need in their midst, but yours." That is why Moshe sought to understand the very nature of God himself. Is it possible for God to be close where people are? Can transcendence become imminent? Can the God who is vaster than the universe live within the universe in a predictable, comprehensible way, not just in the form of miraculous intervention? Moshe is questioning, can the way that God has presented himself to Ben Israel up until this point be sustainable? Is it sustainable? Is this a sustainable relationship between Ben Israel and Hashem? that is it possible? Is there another way? Maybe. What's the answer to it? Well, yes. Hashem reveals his midim. And you know how I know that God agrees with Moshe? Because crazily enough, a few generations later, we have an amazing prophet, a very, very challenging prophet to understand. His name is Eli Yahu. He's a little bit passionate. He's a little bit fiery. He's a little bit angry. He really wants Mel to do chuba. He's had it with them because they won't. So, what does he do? He goes running to the desert and he says in source number three, right? I AM ZEALOUS FOR GOD AND YOUR PEOPLE. THEY WILL NOT LEAVE THEIR and they will NOT DO ANYTHING. I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND YOU THEY THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME. I'M THE ONLY ONE who cares about God. Kill me. Now, we have two prophets in all of history that asked to die. Elahu and Yona. They're a handful. Okay. But that it's out of it's out of zealousness for God that he wants to die. He's had it. He can't put up with this. HE'S FIERY. HE'S INTENSE. And what does Hashem say to him? This is actually one of my most favorite episodes in all Hashem sends outside and he sends to him. Hashem sends massive winds and they're breaking things and the rocks are falling. And then Hashem says, "Hashem's not in the wind." Hashem, and then Hashem sends an earthquake. Hashem's not in the earthquake. It sounds like a a children's book. [laughter] And after that earthquake, fire. Hashem is not in the fire. And after the fire, there is silence. And says the Malam that this is Hashem's exact message. Yahoo. You want to be a prophet? You know what it means to be a prophet? It means to be able to talk to the people. You can't come and scream in their face and say you must do chuva or else you will die. This is like kira 101. YOU WANT TO GET A PERSON to do chuva. You want to get a person to come close to God. You can't say if you wear that you will die, RIGHT? THAT WILL NOT WORK. IT WON'T WORK. When I worked in NCSY WAS HANG OUT WITH THE kids and dance with them and SING WITH THEM. THAT'S WHY NCSY WORKS, RIGHT? BECAUSE IT'S love and it's energy and it's music. This is Hashem's message to his prophet. So now we come back to Mosha, we're like, "Wow, Mosha had a good point, huh?" Right? Hashem took it. Moshe had a good point. Not only did we know that he has a good point, but if we think about where said and you go back to the original, let's talk for a second about what did Hashem give us in the original, right? We make a comment with Hashem and take a look at the language of the Luot. Okay, source number three. It's fascinating. Right. I am the Lord your God. I'm not going to go through every but if you skip a little a little bit. Do not bow down to any other gods because I am your God. [laughter] Don't bow down to other gods because I am a zealous god and I will remember if you do something wrong. Not only will I remember but I will remember for three to four generations and I will only do for those who are listening to me who are keeping my word in my Torah and do not do not take advantage of Hashem because I will not forget. Right? There is very different mid described here than what we see in this is this is the god that presented himself to us in har and this is the god that Moshe is asking is there another way right because according to breai the truth is that as soon as we made the ego Hashem wants to kill us and rightfully so RIGHT WE MADE A COVENANT WITH god we stood there ati they are called for a reason we made a covenant and we signed up for this and Hashem said if you don't do it you will be punished and I will remember you not only will you be punished but I will remember you doing this for generations right and I will only do for those who listen to me that's not even mercy for those who do my mitzvot is not an act of mercy that's emtt that is the real deal that is like if you deserve you will get it um which is why when hashem's response is in source number four right I see your nation and they are stubborn. They don't listen to my word. I literally just TOLD THEM DON'T DO IT. And what do they do? THEY DID IT. RIGHT? Like they are so like it's like talking to my 5-year-old. Um right like don't don't do that. Um so now I will eat them alive. Right? So that doesn't work with a child. Now what Moshe has to say is that's not going to work with an Israel either because the reality is that Hashem is right. We are an Araf. You know why? Because we're human and we make mistakes. So we have a problem here. We have a problem with the original breath that was created. We have a problem with the fact we have a problem that if we continue in this fashion, it's not going to end very well. So what does Moshe do as soon as he comes down from Hari? What is the first move he makes? He breaks the he breaks the tablets. Right? And it seems in the puk that he's very angry. He breaks the tablets because he's angry. Right? And the truth is that he is angry. He's angry at Israel because they did not uphold their side. But why does he break the tablets? Not because he is angry, >> but because he needs to break the covenant. Because if we keep that one, we're in serious trouble, right? He has to create a change here. Right? And this is what's bring brought down in the source number source number seven. Right? What is this like? So the med gives an equivalent to a prince or a king who goes to he sends a messenger to go be madesh his wife. Like he sends him with a kuba to go be madesh his wife. But then he finds out that she's doing with somebody else. So he's just in the middle of this and you know he didn't do anything wrong. So what does he do? He tears up the tuba. He says it's better that she should be judged as a woman who has not yet married, right? As opposed to the woman who was married. Right? And Moshe does the same thing. He sees that we're in a reality that we have been unfaithful to God. There is truth to that. We have been unfaithful. But the only way to potentially seek any kind of forgiveness is to enol the marriage contract. We have to go back to square one. This isn't going to work the way it is. It's not sustainable. And what do we know? We know also that agreed with him. The gar says, "Good job, Moshe." Right? Because at the end of the day, as human beings, this is not going to work long term. So Moshe makes a decision. He makes a decision that I think comes to our favor in the eyes of God. But I think it also has another layer to it. Their on the one hand protects us from God's wrath in to a certain extent. He's still going to be angry, right? We still have a broken marriage contract. That's still painful. It's still a problem, but there's something else that's going on here with the breaking of the luot. And I think that's the message that Moshe has to make for Ben Israel at that moment. Rabie Ariel and has an amazing calledam, which is all about chuba in um and in Kazal. But um he talks about this idea and he says verse number eight right he could sit down with the people and have another conversation and have some kind of intellectual debate with them of like guys this isn't working out right [gasps] but I can tell you from parenting that I'm still trying to figure out um every single day that often when I take some kind of action And as opposed to saying the same things over and over 10 times, it seems to usually go a little bit farther. So that's what he does. He has to do something physical to get their attention to make them understand that this reality that you have now created is not going to work. So not only from God's end is this not going to be sustainable for us, but you have responsibility in this also like Ben is just because we broke the marriage contract is not just a protection and now we're good to go. He says, "We actually really ruined it. It was us at the end of the day. We ruined everything that we received." And what he's really making the nation think about is where is your hashem? Right? Where is your relationship with God? I think this seems to be the missing piece from both ends. that on the one hand, Hashem has been, you know, fire and passion and harsh words and an intense relationship and on the other hand, Ben Israel have been scared. They're scared and they're overwhelmed. So, this relationship has not yet been created. So, Moshe is saying, I'm breaking things down for you without Mad Harai and without the luot, you need to think about how do you come back? How do you create a loving relationship with your God? How do you take the next first step? And the next first step is always often built after we break things down. Right? This is the famous saying of cuts. There is nothing so whole as a broken heart. If we want to get somewhere in life, we usually have to break some things down first. We usually have to take one step back to go two steps forward. And you see in source number nine beautifully beautifully states. This is one of Mosha's greatest acts. Breaking the here was one of his greatest acts. Right? He could have also he could have broken them up at the top of the mountain. It's very specific. Moshe pleads with Hashem. He gives them the time to like calm down a little bit, so to speak. And then he comes down and the first thing that they see when he gets down that mountain is crashing of the most important things that they could have ever owned in front of their eyes. It was intentional that there was no other way because what is the reality? The people's hearts were so full. They were so full of the wrong thing at the time. But the people are dancing and they're singing around a golden calf. And Moshe says, "You need to break your hearts open a little bit. You want to let God in. You need to you need to realize what you're missing. He had to make an emotional movement to make something happen. There was no other way around it. Can't even imagine what that means. Imagine what that means. What they've been through. I always think about the trauma of the nation that left me. like what they've been through as a people and then they receive this gift from God and there's like all this massive excitement around it and then Moshe comes down and said you can't have it you can't have it like the the pain of what it means to break these loot was the ticket to our return right this is this is the path forward that often our our Trouba only really starts to work when we open ourselves up, right? And why are we breaking themselves open? Because if you don't break yourself open a little bit, then it's hard to feel closeness, right? The most important relationships in our lives are where we are able to be vulnerable. And it's uncomfortable and it's a reality that for today's generation, I teach teenagers this is like so painful. Um, vulnerability is not their skill. Um, we're working on it, but this is like a really, this is a really real thing that we have to, you know, open up our whole broken heart before people who we want to come close to. And certainly when it comes to God, if we want to find our path back to Hashem, we're going to have to break our hearts. And that's only going to come for this. What is important to mention um and it's not in your source sheet oh actually it depend on your source sheet in source number 10 is that it's a it's a very well-known idea that the lu the broken luho went inside the aron with the with the second set of luhot and there is something very powerful to be said of the fact that even when we mess up and even when we are broken and even when things are hard it's a part of our journey right we never would have gotten ultimately to this place where hashem is going to reveal himself in a different way that we're waiting for and we never would gotten to the relationship that we have right now with the had we not gone through this reality and it's not something that we're ashamed of. This is not something we look back on. I mean there's shame around it's a little bit it's even hard for us to understand that this is something Israel did when we are objective readers of the Torah and we're looking at all this has happened and we get to see everything and we're like what do you mean this God just took it out of his mind? How could you possibly do this? But the reality is that that brokenness is what brings us to the next step. Um, and it's something to keep in mind in our path of chooa that this is how it works as well. When we come with chuga before he Hashem, the goal is not to wipe our slate clean and pretend that we're perfect. We're not perfect human beings. And that's Mosha's entire message to Hashem and we're not going to be perfect human beings. We're not going to be perfect human beings. So now, so now what? So now what do we do? Right? Cuz here we are now. Okay, we are on the path to Chuba. Mosha's kind of like pushing the in the right direction. He's trying to get them to break their hearts. They're mourning the fact that is not going to come with them to midbar. What is the path forward? How do we do it? So, it's at this point I think where we can come back to to Rabbi Sachs because this is the point where Hashem says, "Okay, we need another way, right? We need we need another path." And this is where Hashem introduces for the first time in Torah the idea of pardon of being pardoned by God. the idea of mercy that I can function differently. That's what I brought to you in source number sorry page in source number 11 right this is the very end of after this whole conversation with Moshe agrees to come back to that's like an unbelievable thing where does this come from because he says continue on the next page because I will have mercy essentially is the answer I really have mercy. >> Yeah. >> Is Isn't that the same way that Hashem wants to create the world with judgments and then be tempted with confessment because he realized that the world could not exist with pure judgments. >> Yeah. I I personally have learned it the other way. But again, I'm a bit of a follower of Hers and he tends to see it the other way that creation by nature is an act of kindness. Um that Hashem creates with kindness and then he has to put that in its place with judgment. I think there's always a balance and I think it's not a new idea that Moshe is Moshe is not introducing something to God, right? We can't even imagine for a second that this is something God doesn't know. But I think as Moshe is a human being and God as the all powerful being, Mosha is saying one second, let's take a step back like this, you know, this is this is a new concept, a nation and a god who are going to have a close relationship. I think this is our whole struggle of what we experience in Russashana. There's, you know, Hashem is au hashem is our father and our king. So which one is it? It's both, right? There is this reality that that I think the miso don't replace. I think this is what we're going to get to ultimately. It's not going to replace Hashem's at the end of the day. But there has to be a reality that even for us to be judged, there has to be a path back because otherwise we would just die. It's as simple as that. It's as simple as if we do the wrong thing, Hashem will punish us. So if we want a a room for there to exist any space for tuba then we need there to be raim in the framework of specifically. Um, and I think it's at this point that Hashem sends Moshe back up and he says, "Go make a new set of and it's fascinating because if you look at the and the way that Hashem appears and if you happen to sorry I should have made this in a chart form, but if you happen to look at the same time at the in source number three of the midot that Hashem revealed himself with during the first set of and now the way Hashem reveals himself in the second set of it's it's eerie. It's it's exactly parallel to each other, but this time with a whole new a whole new energy, right? Take a look at verse number 12. Moshe gets the second set of ready also to know that they are basically man-made this time. They are not God made because there's an understanding now that man have to be a leader in this relationship with God. We have to take charge of our relationship with God. It's not random that is it begins with us. It's it begins it begins with us actually doing the work to put it in. You can't come before without having put in the individual work. And at that point, Hashem passes over him. almost the exact same attributes in the opposite form. Right? Hashem is forgiving. Hashem is patient. Hashem will withhold his anger. Hashem will withhold his anger for many generations so that we have time to do chuva. Right? What Hashem has literally introduced in between the lines of the text right here with the giving of the second is chuva. Chuva is this massive concept that exists in. And there are very few sources that are very clear about what exactly Chuva is in. Um there's obviously very beautiful about returning to Hashem, but this is our first national understanding of what does it mean to have an opportunity to do Chuva. This is as far as we can go from Britzai and we've come all the way back around. That is an unbelievable thing. It's an unbelievable thing. And I think that when you put this back into the context of Hashem's and what is he revealing to us, right? If you go back to that original garra, what's happening when Hashem wraps himself in his talis? So again, what exactly that means and and what exactly we Hashem is saying? Why is this the key? Why is this the answer? Why is this the you are forgiven if you accept or if you say the misotraim? So it's obviously easier easier said than done because it's not just a matter of saying the we have to live by them. We have to understand that if Hashem has given us this opportunity for Chuva, we have to take advantage of it. We have to break our hearts open when it's the month of we have to break our hearts open during chuva. We have to beg for that closeness. We have to seek it out. JUST MEANS I HAVE GIVEN YOU AN OPPORTUNITY. If you take that opportunity, you will be forgiven. Right? It's that simple. Do it. Right? I just gave you all the chances in the world. So if you're given the chance, so then do something about it. Right? And there's a very well-known saying in that the whole concept of it'll happen just to teach us about the concept of chuva. And it's for this reason, right? And the shalom continues in the same piece that I brought to you in source number 13. This entire thing happened all these three. They all happened to teach us about chuva that us the readers of here in 2025 that we are going to know what it really means to do chuva that it begins with the breaking of our hearts. It begins with recognizing that that we are not where we are supposed to be. That something is not right. That we don't have it all right. It's very easy in the modern era to feel like we're living. We are living actually in many ways in the luckiest time ever. We have Torah at our fingertips. Safaria and Allah Torah. Everywhere you go is a bait midash. Everywhere you go there's right. We're living in unbelievable times. It's very easy to feel full in our hashem. It's a it's a it's a braha that we could feel full in our hashem. Look at everything else we're dealing with. Don't tell me that we're living in 2025 and we can't break our hearts open a little bit. Right? It begins with Shiv Aliv that there's something missing. There's something missing that I don't feel the direct connection. At the end of the day, we're living in Gal. We're living in exile. There's Heran. I don't feel Hashem in my midst. We have been fortunate enough in the last two years to see outright miracles in our lives. Outright miracles. Are we living with that awareness that God is in our midst every single day, 247? Are we are we living with a feeling that God is in my midst and I just I can't access him and I can't feel there's a shival name there's a feeling of something is not right there has to be I'm skip a A person who really understands this this mida of breaking our hearts open of breaking those l of realizing that we have not come all the way that this this greet that we've made with Hashem is not working the way that it should something is missing. Hashem will never forsake that person. This is the message of this is the message of it's miraculous that Hashe it's miraculous right it makes no sense you read like we were out of there but the fact that there was a shiv there was a recognition there was a vitu right the next the next reaction When they find that Hashem is on their list, there's there's mourning, right? Mourning. Real mourning. Do we mourn that we don't have a direct connection to Hashem nowadays? That's what Hashem is asking for for and I thinking about this a little bit more because and the way that Hashem describes it in or the way that it is described in the Gar that Hashem described to Moshe, it's a that needs to say, right? I don't have the uh greatoot these days as a mother of little children to get to um most of the time. Um which means that I don't really get the opportunity to say which this was really my chance to engage with it a little bit. Um but it's not surprising to me that it's something that we say in right it's something that you have to say with you say with the minion and I think that it's because there is this national aspect of awareness that Hashem gave us a gift as a nation to do chuva that part of the chuva process is not just about me and and it's about being part of a nation that we all hold this responsibility to come close to hashem and my chuva is dependent on your chuva and your chuva is dependent on the next person's chuva that we need to be doing chuva as a cloud Raers speaks about this um in in quite a lot of places but I brought to you one where he speaks about um in his collected writings in in um his fourth volume of El and he says all the lurggical works which comprise the prayers of have in common one characteristic virtually all of them ask us to mend our ways and seek God's forgiveness not as individual human beings but as members of the entity that is the Jewish people if we were left to our own devices and certainly we would voice our needs and hopes only from the vantage point of our personal lives. They address themselves to us as members of a nation in the fervent hope hope that they can best achieve their purpose by appealing to our Jewish national awareness. These remind us of our national sufferings past and present. They seek to make us feel the impact of restrictions, the pressions, the pressures, the contempt, the pain, the size, the distress and the misery that blight our existence on earth. We realize that if anything, these sufferings are proof of our moral defectiveness, of our need to mend our ways and to obtain God's forgiveness. Right? We think when we come into al and we're saying I would think that we're already starting with this you know gazal that it's all about what I've done wrong and I've done this wrong and I've done that wrong but it's not it's not what it's about is about our national suffering it's about what we are experiencing as a nation and the fact that we are still suffering nationally very much in the here and now means that we still have ways to go and it means that as a kal we have not accessed this point of think is this reminder that as a nation, we need to come before God, right? We don't have to go very far to feel a little bit of brokenness for our nation. We don't have to look very far, right? We don't have to think about anything really beyond this room to think about what what we still need as a nation. What is missing? I think, you know, we sit here every single day. We're doubting for our doubting for our hostages to come home. We're dabbing for this war to end. We're dabbing for Mashiah to come. I think I actually saw something very very beautiful that Rah's son writes in the half of Rashashana. On the first day of Rashashana, we read about Kana and it's a very beautiful and fitting thing for Rashashana to read about and how to how to den and how it's answered and it's almost like this beautiful package of this is how to get your to answer on the second day of we read from right the story of crying for her children and it's really about the return of which doesn't really exist anywhere else in the nobody else really talks about the 10vat the lost 10 tribes coming back to Israel. And Reverse says there that one time a year, just one time a year, we should remember that 56th of our nation is gone, right? That we we think in this generation that you know when when we look around, if I were to ask you, what is the worst tragedy that has ever ever befallen our people? So the Shawat is is a really serious one. There's no question. But there was a time where we lost five sixth of our people. That 10im are gone, right? And here we are. We are struggling. There is real brokenness in this room for what we are experiencing here in this land. And there is also a deep awareness of the closeness that we have with Hashem that he has shown us his miracles. He has shown us his kindness. He has given us a way back. So I hope this year we can really come together in a unified way and Davin as a nation that our shon will take us all the way home and that Hashem will reveal his mercy in the most revealed way possible.