Torah Ohr Va'era Vayidaber #3 | You Can’t Love G-d If You Hate Your (True) Self

[Music] [Applause] [Music] da [Music] my [Music] my [Music] [Applause] [Music] da [Music] my [Music] my [Music] my [Music] i [Music] [Applause] my [Music] my [Music] a now this is the song you were hearing sung by rabbi yamar and his family inherits israel welcome everybody good morning thank you for joining us today we're going to cool we're middle of the mimer patches of era of the balatanya toyota air patches vader the minute that begins if you did not do it yet please go to the yeshiva.net and you will see on the top it should say hasidis monday there is a green icon on top of the video which says download and if you click on it you shall see the source sheets which you can print out or download on your computer as a file so you can follow inside or nearby it says view source sheets which will actually supplant the video the video will turn to code to the side and the source sheet will fill that space of the video could you guys unzoom let me know if you could see me and hear me rabbi litzman you see me and you hear me yeah the button were good okay so welcome just before we begin i'll announce that the azer hashem was our background shalom when did you move the swiss alps kevaldek you're ready making my morning better says wherever you want to be that's where you are but malcolm shirts where you want to be that's where you are hashem tonight at 9 30 we're going to have a i'm going to have a panel discussion with some other rabbinic colleagues the topic is goodbye 2020 and the state of the union america today we're all experiencing sights and news that we didn't expect so we'll be addressing that asia hashemisbury that's monday evening tonight 9 30 p.m streamed live here on the yeshiva.net everybody's invited in conjunction with kazakh and torah anytime etc tomorrow morning we have 9 45 our women's class and everybody's invited to that as well even the men unofficially again streaming live on the yeshiva.net last week we began the mimer by daburella kim al-mush of emily hashem which begins on page 111 on nun column 1. this is a discourse that de balhatani and altareb said on shabbos parishes which would be 1805 and it's published in his toyota we focused the first two shirum we're focused on shame ali kim shema lekim vs shame hawaii when maisha asks why is dergalas why have you afflicted the people and when i came to paris things became worse why did you send me this is the end of parish mice and hashem says you'll see now good things will happen they will be expelled from egypt and then he continues and he says ali kim speaks to maisha and says ani hashem what is the meaning of that how is it a response to maesha's questions generally what was the purpose of godless misrayam usually there's a sin a penalty here the jews didn't do anything wrong what did they do there's no prerequisite to the story there's no introduction to the story furthermore already by the covenant with avraham of inaudible exile the jews will be subdued and subjugated for 400 years and then i will judge the nation and they will go out with great wealth what was the purpose of it why are ready by the brisbane absurdum when there were no jews yet is this part of the plan so the balatanya begins to introduce a lengthy explanation about the two names yutkay wafkee and eli kim writer by creation it says bereishi's barely kim throughout creation but at the end of creation it says ayla tell the sasha mayan virets be borum because i'll say that there had to be a partnership between utkavaki which he calls hawaii and the name of kim and that partnership was essential to the creation and the sustain and the maintenance and sustaining of the universes and here he went on to a long explanation which we discussed in sheer number one on this moment number two on this mimer and to give the three sentence summation not the three hour submission but the three sentences summation eli kim he said is plural yud kevke is singular ali kim is the only name of hashem that said that something plural alaikum the past success kiddosham not qaddish and the reason for that is because al-kim represents the infinite diversity that comes from oneness or in in the words of the mimer the ziv hashina or the orange seif the light which emanates from hashem the passage says there's a little contradiction here we begin by saying hashem is great god al-hashem um some of you already said it this morning and actually some of you will say it after the um he's excessively praised so we're praising him we're saying he's great then we say by the way there's no way to understand it or to investigate it so why do you start saying he's great you say god lord you even say very very mama's very great praised excessively and then by the way but there's no way to appreciate it to investigate it so the altar episode is not a contradiction both are very true the zohar says so you introduce here another posse you know we have the concept of first you tell me god then you say sorry i can't really talk about it there's no way to research it to investigate it to understand it okay so the the way to reconcile these two halves of the succumb is by a third component it says until them god al-hashem um this is all talent one is one is may ashrae i'm of monday god allah says when he's in the city of l.a cain what does all this mean so the balatini explains represents that which place marks officially no thought can grasp the divine infinite transcendence a messiah who goddel when can we call hashem godel only when divinity restricts itself and compresses itself and limits itself and hashem harnesses and mitigates his infinite energy to be able to become a source for the creation of the worlds and this is called the light of the shrine the light of ainsof or the radiance of the shenanigan because the metaphor for this would be the light of the sun the ray of the sun the ray of the sun comes from the sun but the ray of the sun doesn't capture the full intensity the full heat the full electricity the full warmth of the sun that would be too overwhelming but it transmits some form of light some form of electricity some form of heat some form of energy that we can not only appreciate we can enjoy and bask and bathe in its radiance in its light in its glory especially for those of you who already made your annual escape from new york to the places where you can feel and experience the heat and the light of the sun in a more intense fashion i'm talking here about the mass migration of judea to florida and other places during the winter months so this eve we can relate to the light a ray of the sun that's like this and this zev now becomes diversified in endless ways because it comes from the ainslief so there's also endless diversity and that's what he spoke about marabu rabu and quantity in terms of the quantity that we experienced the day tremendous diversity down here in this world on our planet of deimont then we have my god lumas how great and he said godlow is the diversity and quality diversity in quality is in the spirituality in the relationship to god every sadiq every neshama every malach everyone has their unique light that they manifest that's why i read sadiq and is going to inhabit 310 worlds and their own 310 worlds yes so just like the physical diversity just stems from spiritual diversity every blade of grass has its unique master it's unique spiritual energy the magodlo there's marabou rabu in terms of so many different creations so much diversity within our planet and within our cosmos and then you have maggadlo masa how great are your myself this refers to as he says all of the spiritual creatures not of this world but of the illuminati of the higher worlds which is also in this world is just a deeper layer of our world and again the the the diversity and the godless of it and ziv hashina includes all of them and this differentiation this hishalkus this differentiation of divine energy into endless different sources of the light and experience is all called ali kim al-akim and the plural why in the plural because it represents how the divine energy is differentiated into so many different experiences so many different tanugam so many different delights each one genuinely experiencing their own experience of elokim so when hashem is in ireland what's eerily keno you remember seyfit syria says that a city is made up of homes neighborhoods and homes a city made for neighbors neighborhoods made up of homes and homes are made up of bricks and that's a metaphor for isis each letter is like a brick you put the letters together and you create a word which is like a home you put homes together and you create a block a community a neighborhood which is like a sentence it builds into a paragraph and then you construct a chapter and then you construct a book era the kenu means the city of alicana what's the city of velikeno when the city is made up of many homes the homes are made up of many letters in other words when hashem's undifferentiated undefined infinite energy is differentiated into letters and into so many different sequence of letters and it's met it's really amazing because today we have the metaphor of dna which is mama's that every nivera every living organism has its own sequence and sometimes the difference between sequences of letters is is so minuscule it's so tiny we share 50 of dna with a banana we share 98 of dna with a chimpanzee so the difference has become so so minuscule then between one person and another person between one sibling and another sibling between parents and child but nonetheless that that tiny variation is what sets you apart it's your building blocks that are different than my building blocks because you are a certain his galas of ziva this is what real individuality is that has this is what real individuality is it's not i'm going to be an individual i'm going to make sure that i don't look like you so yeah i'll wear one pink sock and one green sock i'll dye my hair half red and half yellow so i could stand out okay i mean individuality is not hydronius individuality is panemias individuality is not i'll wear one shoe this one shoot that so i could stand i could stand out somebody once asked me one of our aramuna classes why is it that hasidim they all wear black they all wear black i heard from rabbi manas friedman he he told me that uh he would go to lectures and he would wear a black hat and uh and a black uh black suit a black because like a pot and always the first question would be why does hasidim wear black so once he decided he'll shock the crowd so he dressed up in a completely different uniform he comes in the first question is but why do hasidim always wear black is it why is there not more diversity i said listen there's different ways of looking at it but i just want to bring out one point when everybody dresses differently very differently from each other so then what happens often what happens often is i can get away by with being an individual because of the color of my shirt or the color of my pants the color of my hair or the color of my hat or the color of my shoes or the color of another aspect when everybody is dressed similarly so you can't get away with that so how do you stand out so you stand out by personality you have a different character you're naturally you're a different person so in a way there's actually much more diversity because when individuality becomes about external stuff then it's inauthentic like you really have to resort to that external reality in order to be able to prove that you're different is that how small of an individual you are is that how insignificant your individuality is the only way people will see you as different is if you manage to shock us through the way you look externally what we're learning here is that diversity is interwoven into the fabric of existence that's what ali kim is because without ali kim if there'll be only yot kevke we said shemesh um hashem it's a very geshmakatai of the altar that hashem and ali kim is like the shemesh and the mugging the sun itself it needs a sheath it needs a mug and needs a shield it needs a protector so that we should be able to experience of it and what are we experiencing what we experience of it a minimum and a channeled flow of light that's deserved that's the uh insight and that's what alec him is and in that flow itself there are endless manifestations and differentiation it's like the sun has so many different ways not one ray so the zev includes every single tainuk every single experience every single form of life like it says in taitu every aspect of life in every world every source and aspect and manifestation of pleasure in every world and every state of consciousness ultimately comes from you from the ziv the ziv encompasses all of differentiation so from utkevke itself this absolute infinity undefined infinity because the shemesh goes through ali kim the shemesh has a mug in so therefore this is the is now compartmentalized differentiated in isis in building blocks and each neighborhood has its own isis its own building blocks that's irelaikenu the city that comes from l.a king what's the city the city is a diverse place of different people with different homes each one has its unique stones its unique architecture no matter real city everyone has its unique architecture it could be just the difference of two stones two bricks this brick is here this brick is it's a different home that's irelic and then he becomes goddamn then you could speak about god hashem allah in every world and every neighbor why because alicia is always about gili what does gili mean gili means it's revealed in a way that you can internalize it it's custom-made to your chemistry ali kim is the source of individual chemistry the building blocks of every nivera so that you become the person or the creature that you are supposed to become in an internalized fashion this is your consciousness he says on the top of 12 that's echad hawaii is the source of everything it's the shirish of everything before it's manifested in a revealed way in ireland because this hawaii is not gili what does gilly mean gili means when something is revealed if you reveal the second if i'm giving a shear and it goes over your head that's not the gili gili means that it's revealed to you meaning you can absorb it within your vessels within your kiln within your containers and that's the definition of alaikum and that's why it's the mugging for shemesh so now the alternative continues page 112 the paragraph on the top from eli kim from the name of eli kim from the reality of eli kim nem shakla mata prana there can be communicated down here below the aspect of it is war or reverence commercial kosovo to quote the possibilities ali kim made it so that we should have awe of him so the balatanga is madagasa year it could only come because of eli kim ooksie the pasek further says again in kahellus the end of callous pericard bays asshali kim yura ye have fear of ali kim and of kahalas we know this all saiv davarakal nishma remember kim yirah smith is this is the whole person calhouse ecclesiastes says saved over the end of everything is have fear of god follow observe his mitzvas this constitutes color adam the purpose of a person again as helle kim era when it comes to kim that could be a further passing the bellatonia says this is impartial as hashem here you have a combination hashem why does he bring first the succumb of kahelas and then the third passage of the order of khaman and then kahelas this is a a a a a simple question probably i'm not sure but probably because the first two took him from kahelas what do we see from here we see that year applies to alekim even when it says hashem hashem has to be filtered through elokim says because yira is a very deep experience or a reverence he says when it comes to hawaii it can't shrinker yiri you know why because leicester no thought can grasp it can detect it can define it can articulate it can experience it and therefore there can't be irreformation in order for me to have awe and reverence there has to be an appreciation of it and he says havaya is so transcendent of my imagination i can't experience it only kim what's elicit elokim is the way hashem's good doula is mispassionate hispanics what does his pastors mean it expands right something is mispassionate means it expands it extends it's broadened what does it mean here what does it mean especially that hashem's undifferentiated undefined infinite reality that transcends our description of reality we don't know what it is and no thought can grasp it when i when hashem this goddullah is god allah might be really when it's extended in isis what does it mean in isis hashem so to speak defines as infinite energy as a source of creation it becomes the energizer of existence the animating force the soul the engine the battery of life i can have an appreciation and every person has their own their own appreciation like we spoke before about individuality every tadik has shaiolamas marabu my god here they could be he says here there can be an aimer there can be a sense of or year is basis you as brochure says a very profound sense of reverence junior's abortions literally means a fear that's associated with shame which means the person is is awed by infinity thank you so how value itself you'd give off cases it can't trigger year it can trigger a real year it's too beyond leicester fisa for there to be able to be either there has to be abstract fisa in ali kim they could be episode fisa god al-hashem the ira the same is true with love love can flow only through elokim commercial kosovo as the past success we say this again in the morning this is the end of tehillim we did the end of kahalas now we do the end of tehillim hallelujah hello brickyard hallelujah rice of hallelujah wife good luck right very good yeah have a beautiful voice ishikaya hallelujah i've good hello big virus what's halloween praise him in his gurus and his strengths hallelujah of goodluck praise him according to roy goodly according the to the abundance of his greatness salthead says what is this hallelu the praising and the love and the excitement of hashem could only be rave goodly what's your good lawyer remember when there's goodly when you have the diversity of existence which comes throughout the kip and you have the godless the greatness of existence that comes to elohim the godless of hashem the infinity that is experienced in every neshama as we explained earlier then they could be hallelujah because if i'm praising you i have to be able to appreciate you i can only praise that which i know that which i don't know of i can't praise he's telling us something very deep when i love something it's essentially something that i can appreciate when i'm in fear of something when i'm in awe of something it's something that i can be in awe of that which is really beyond me i don't have law for it and i don't have love for it not because it's not above me not because i'm not excited about it it's too because my my experience of excitement is too inadequate to be able to have a relationship with that so therefore there's no ava nearer there they say a story that mandala mendelo haradakir mendela vitepsker was a student of the market he wrote a safer called pre-hearts so his talmidim asked him if they he could show them if they could show if he could show them at sadiq nister a concealed sadiq so he told them yeah he said amit sadiq nist i'm a concealed sadiq they said you you're not concealed you're revealed we know that you're at sadiq he said given woe to me if my sitkas my righteousness was limited to how much you know about my righteousness in other words you're looking for a seeker a concealed sadhak you're looking at him that which you that which you see from me it's about you yesterday in the sheer basilagani i i said we explained a lot we spoke about names so i said when somebody speaks about somebody else he's not speaking about somebody else he's speaking about himself when you're praising or analyzing somebody else you're essentially analyzing yourself you're describing yourself much more than describing the other person when i hear somebody talking about somebody else i hear them talking about them not much about the other person and this is very true because what i speak about you is my experience of you which is based on me not based on you so when i speak about anything including spirituality and transcendence i'm talking about me in other words i'm talking about that which i can experience without says excitement the love and the war only can relate to the way hawaii is channeled through eloquent uk the passage says this where the whole reality of the person becomes subsumed in divine infinity because hawaii is actus prieliky if you want to have ava savai that's the bitter messes in other words the obvious delays the love is to that which no thought can grasp it has to always begin with ellie kim she is boyne and big doulas the person should first be able to become deeply aware of the infinity of ain't so if that's extended and manifested within identity within and then from there you can develop an over to that which no thought can grasp it begins with ali kim and then from there it can develop and mature and grow into the avaya of utkevka and we could understand the reason for this because i have no way of beginning with the avengiri to you to cave off okay because lace marks of its visibility no thought can grasp it so therefore he says it begins with ali kim assala kim yura sasha malek goodly hello big virus for eyes of his symptom restrictions if you want to put it in psychological terms we could say as follows and i think this is true you can't give yourself up if you haven't found yourself you can give yourself away if you haven't first embraced yourself you can't reach the ava and they hear it to havaya if it doesn't go through alike you can't experience bitter bemezias if you first didn't experience mathias and then the mathias can experience betelgeuse because if i'm a vital demethius before i experience the matsias then it's not really bitterly macias there's a difference between bituminous and nullification so in order to be able to experience hawaii it has to go through alikhim in simple english what this means is eli kim is what allows for identity el kim is what allows for individuality not only allows it it is that it embraces that it's the divine as it becomes the engine of your life so the ava and the era of elokim is the avenger of experiencing the magnitude of life the energy of life the miracle of life the infinity of life from there i can say but all of elokim comes from hawaii from the achtus that transcends even a la kim and over there lays mahshava fisabe over there there's no thought that grasps it but from delhi kim prepares me it becomes the catalyst the springboard the foundation the aside upon which the person could then come to to the deeper ava of hawaii of bitter machias martial a person starts with that there's no uh you understand you have to find yourself in order to be able to lose yourself you have to love yourself in order to be able to transcend yourself if you hate yourself you can't transcend yourself if i come to you and i tell you you're nothing you don't exist so now you're a shemata and you feel like a shemata so now you know they love themselves so now your bittle is not bittle your bittle is just very important your bitter is just a crutch to numb the pain of your sense of inadequacy tafasta the psychologist sometimes given your bittle becomes a number for your sense of inadequacy if i feel that i'm worthless so bitter becomes the only way to survive so bitter becomes an oxygen oxygen it's not bitter i'm looking for i'm on the contrary i'm much more into myself i'm trying to survive i don't even feel that i exist i need anything to give my ego something something so therefore i become bottle why because it's based on your nothingness bitter has to be based on your value when you appreciate your infinite value because of eli kim because of your unique spiritual and physical dna because you are a miracle of hashem in the making because you are a divine light in this world now altadeva says don't get stuck there and now from there you got to grow to havaya there's a lot there's a lot inside of these words a lot a lot here the battle wants to know how you know you love yourself that's an interesting question i would say that i don't have a decisive answer for that but i think i think one component of that is when a person finds themselves not competing with others not trying to copy others and not trying to conform to others and not from a place of spitefulness but from a place of inner serenity when i find myself copying others being jealous of others competing with others conforming to others then obviously i'm not in touch with my energy there is divine light that flows through me and flows through you and the only way i can give that light to the world is by being in touch with my isis just like you're being you're in touch with your isis i can't live your dna you can't live my dna i can't live your soul you can't live my that's why there's no real room for jealousy jealousy means that you took something from me or i took something from you jealousy doesn't recognize nobody can extinguish your light nobody can take your light nobody can take my light and it also means that you shouldn't not shine your light to protect somebody else you don't help anybody by you being inadequate on the contrary by you shining your light in full force you help me shine my light in full force sometimes we feel that by us being inadequate we help other people it's like if you know what you know when kids go like this and they think you can't see them you know you know you go like this if i'll go like this you won't be able to see me i'm going to help you because i won't stand out you don't help anybody by hiding your light you help people by shock by sharding your light self love of course is also expressed in the fact that you take care of the gifts that hashem gave you you take care of your body you take care of your mind you take care of your neshama you take care of your gut you take care of your physical life your emotional life your spiritual life these are gifts that your binocular gave you take care of them you take care of them you cherish them you appreciate them you don't just give up on them and neglect them and abandon them and abuse them you have to be respectful of them hashem has given you a life it's your responsibility to take care of it so self-love is not narcissistic it's not selfish on the contrary it's recognizing your responsibility to god and to humanity it's recognizing that there's a light that you are the custodian of there's a divine light that only you are the custodian of of and i have to say this is mine to cherish people often you know ask about boundaries you know creating boundaries healthy boundaries is it selfish and i say it depends how you look at it if you look at boundaries as keeping you away as far as possible you know so you have to ask yourself why is that necessary are you going to be abused are you going to be hurt or not but sometimes boundaries really means simply making sure that i can take care of my light if a person let's say in the morning runs all over the place right before they manage to connect to their neshama through davening so they may not they may be neglecting their responsibility of holding on to their light with which they can feed the world there was a mother during the war they said astoy there was a mother during the war and she found some food and she knew that if she leaves it out everybody's going to eat it so she locked herself up in a room and she ate it so her children were banging on the door and they said mommy what are you doing there she said i'm trying to make sure that you have a mother i want to make sure you have a mother so i have to eat so this is a form of of nurture that allows your light to be able to shine that's all i like him from eli kim i can come to a deeper place and what's a deeper place to the place of absolute oneness with his bitter messiahs where leicester is first you have to realize that he's your god yours yours yours you and you and you and you and you and you alike and assad to be not in a selfish way but this is who i'm supposed to be i'm supposed to be a manifestation of the divine light through me i have to be me and it's true with every person with every race with every nationality with every culture the jew was made to be a jew and the non-jew was made to be a nun the hispanic is a hispanic and the black man is a black man the african-american's african-american and the hindu is a hindu and the indian is an indian every person and every creature everyone has its unique role by being true and loyal to their own alike to their zebras hashem is your life you already love hashem if you love your life yourself your real self is hashem god is out alt has got about then there is the ava of bitter matzias but you can only come to that other if you go through the ava bella kim the avenger of eloquem that's where avenue can begin because there there is a personal experience there is a deep relationship i can't love and awe that which is completely completely beyond me that i have no twist so for this you have to have the unity of havaya with elikim kim speaks to marsha and says by the way wrong name ani hashem it's like i would say rab aaron called me up and said by the way rabbi why why you think my name is ada and my name is yanko by gabriel the kim il-moisha and la kim speaks to marsha and he says by the way hashem so don't say alex solo kim didn't speak to moshe yankel spoke to hayem and he said my name is yanko no mottel spoke to yankel or zundel spoke to the angle and he said by the way my name is not mottul my name is avraham okay what's up i love so he says the shot is very very powerful eli kim is really shame havaya it's the way havaya can ultimately be internalized by you in other words ali kim is an aspect of gilu sheimavaya and therefore through eli kim you can reach hawaii don't think that identity is a stereotypical don't think that loving yourself your real self is narcissistic is problematic is not good no there is in order for undifferentiated oneness to be able to be experienced in the world it goes through elokim al-akim is like the the the prism the prism through which avaya i don't know how you say prism in hebrew it's the it's the channel that's sinner through which hawaii is filtered for it to be this gala so therefore real the real the coup de villa kim is ani hashem it's not that the two are contradictory eli kim allows for matsias hawaii is bitter elokim is the restriction of the shemesh in the ray to create for the existence of creation and the diversity of creation as we said kolkata from sure delay according to your own caleb that's a contradiction of why he says no aniha is a channel of hawaii and therefore from elokim you can ultimately reach havaya this is where the two could come together in other words what al tadab is teaching us here is that alpichidas self-love real self-love can bring you to real bitter and real bitter can bring you to real self-acceptance real self-love real self-love i'm not talking about narcissistic self-love or insecure self-love or self-love that is coming from desperation real self-love which is already bitter alikim is also real means really seeing yourself for who you really are as the divine energy in this world so it's a gili of havayah shall kim tells maisha ani hashem i want you to understand that al kim is also hawaii and therefore through ali kim you will have the ghillie of shema deserves so what happens i appear to have itself what does it mean i appear to have ramit zakanyakov avraham i represent three middahs of rama's love yaakov is compassion yaakov empathy compassion we said how does a person experience through ali kim right through allah kim so he says and he says ani ani i am the one who is going to bring you to havaya because i'm really an aspect of hawaiian so therefore the era i appear to avraham it's what does it mean spiritually i have peter rahman yakov a ramen tsakanyakov represent the manifestation of the divine energy in midas when a jew experiences ava you experience yiri experiencing that is of rama sakayakov how can the beaver area how can there be a gilui of avramitsakanyakov how can you experience this because alaikim says ani hashem because there has to be the oneness of elohim and hashem allah wouldn't be channeled through elokim there would be no avraham if you want the edel of rama yitzhak you need vayidab hashem this is hashem the way hashem is misgala it's the way hashem is restricted and mitigated through the filters of elokim and then the kadhiva's and therefore because allah goes through elokim elokim could bring you back to avaya because it's not really separate so from the bittle of elokim you can come to the bittle bermudsias of avaya which lays mashable real real self-acceptance from elikim brings you to havaya when you're open to the truth of elohim that it comes from away it's just a channel to be able to allow hawaii to come into the world that's him oh now we come back to the beginning of the moment the miners said when hashem created the world has beratious borough ali kim we understand why now because if creation didn't happen through ali kim which is me the sadden me the sag symptom restriction there could be no world like the martial altar that we gave earlier in the mimer that sometimes you have an idea you always you have an idea and the idea is a very powerful idea but it doesn't have isis yet it doesn't have letters there's no structure it's just like you have this picture in your mind this this flash of wisdom in your mind but in order to be able to think about it and communicate it and write it down it has to become differentiated through isis it has to become defined through isis that's like havaya and eli kim hashems the sacral the idea itself is one but then it has to go through oysters in the beginning there's no isis in the beginning there's just an idea and the idea is deeper than isis isis creates structure it's just articulate it is define it and the more you want to communicate it to people outside of you and more distant from you the more issues you need right if you want to give a presentation about it you're going to have to have a lot of oasis how do you say it how do you convey it the the idea was one idea but suddenly if i want to say it it can take me two hours i need so many different words for it and every word has many letters and every word is part of the idea but not the whole idea that's the marshal for eli kim and avaya what a martial every sequence of dna in our world is part of a lacus everyone it's like every word you give you're reading a book every word is part of the book the idea of the book is one actors one but you you hear the word but every word of the book is part of it and if you cut out a word it's like in the seyfata there's one safer title but every letter is part of it then every word is part of it and if you cut out a letter you're missing to say for tata so he says hawaii represents the oneness el aikenu is the way it comes out through the isis and the words and the sentences and the paragraphs and the chapters that's called irelicano but each one of them is part of it it's not the whole but it's part of it and because it's part of it so therefore it's essentially a gili of havaya but in a way that can be absorbed by the listener i don't have access to your essential idea i need the words i need the isis that's the limit of isis and the blessing of isis avenue can only happen from ali kim but ultimately from that it brings you to the oneness to that so alzheimer's although creation begins with elokim at the end it says day hashem eli kim ha viala can made earth in heaven in other words ultimately there is the unity of avaya and eli kim because the purpose is this should be the geely of shame how violent below in existence that's the concept that from the creation of heaven and earth which is shameless him this is essentially the opportunity to bring out shame havaya down here because like the idea you need the oysters if you don't have the oysters if you don't have the dna it's not going to happen we have here in in in isis of kabbalah and hasidis a very elegant and powerful description of what science and physics are now beginning the last few decades beginning to develop in terms of scientific models and scientific descriptions that the whole world used one dictionary and the world is made up of isis living organisms are made up of isis basarama maurice nivea we call dna letters and that's the ali kim that channels and filters the hawaiian into the diversity of creation what's the purpose to bring it's only a channel for our value that we should be able to absorb it so there are stages i from elekim therefore i can come to hawaii because the two are not really they're not enemies kasper solomon they're here they really want hashem is a god we'll take some questions i have a question you speak about bittle a person's humility a person could have bittle in one of two ways maybe somebody who has a good self-esteem but he realizes that you have to be humble in life the other type of person is somebody who's a smarter he lacks self-esteem to share on a personal note for many people there were many bali chuva who lived in the secular world they hit rock bottom and then they became from out of desperation because they didn't like their lives others were actually on the top they got a good education they were successful they liked themselves or at least perceived on the top and they realized that they're accomplished well but the so-called top is lacking and they wanted to touch something deeper and therefore they became inspired by religion what would you say about somebody who became about truva because he actually felt that his life was worthless is that really a fake form of bitter because you're just trying to feel the fill the pain of your inadequacy so judaism is essentially just a number of your pain that's a good question well we all know what karl marx said about religion right it's an opiate it's an opiate for the masses so i think we have to look at that the moment judaism becomes just a way of escaping my own misery in other words i hate myself so therefore i become very very firm it could be dangerous actually the person can actually do damage to themselves and to others because it can be extremely extremely distorted the essence of judaism is finding the divine inside of you it's realizing who you are it's realizing that you're a helical so becoming a baltruva to escape my lack of self-esteem is a contradiction in terms because embracing yiddishkeit means believing that each person is a shliyak of hashem i see them i see it as a contradiction in terms you could say maybe the person started to live as a religious jew in terms of rituals but in terms of inner consciousness it's really discovering a place of very deep healing and serenity you agree with me the bali chuva here agree with me i'm still trying to become a balchova people need to have proper um guidance uh rabbis yeah to show them the way someone who's very very low when they come to you for as i said they came but it doesn't mean they're going to be completely healed day one day right they need guidance to bring them to the church it's very true that's true but people need guidance and remember there could also be people who will manipulate you you know not everybody who looks solely is so refined so you really have to be able to stand on your own feet as well you need good guidance you need good mentorship people you can trust and things that resonate with you and it's not like you'll come to a community and everything all the problems are going to be solved it doesn't really work that way if you're running away from something inside of yourself you're really going to have to deal with it if not you're going to your children are going to have to deal with it so it's so important to have the right mentorship and also to be able to realize that you know you cannot be exploited you cannot be manipulated it's it's very important to be able to make sure that judaism doesn't become a blind reliance on others because you want to escape your own inner wisdom very good question you explained that to love of hashem the love of hashem could come through la kim because i have to be able to experience something we see that the jews in egypt were completely broken slaves no hope of getting out no hope of a free life forget about love forget about loving hashem yet they were freed they were taken out they were brought to mount sinai where they willingly accepted and loved hashem but they couldn't do it on their own it took hashem's initiative maisha is the leader and all the plagues to accomplish this so what does this mean what was their process that's a good question and the nightmare is actually going to continue that theme we'll soon see this is where it gets very very intricate because ali kim speaks to maisha and he says ani hashem has a response to maisha who says why is there a gullis in the chat somebody asks this question question number one i always felt that my clothing makes me part of hashem's army it's the uniform of hashem it's the uniform of hashem's army well certainly that sits as certainly that villain certainly the yamaka can we say that you need to first understand that there is something in order to understand that there's much more than what you understand yes very well next question it's a full-time job to learn how to love yourself okay i hope it's not a hard job once you get through the book one time right once once you get the experience of it and and we all some of us some of us are lacking it we we never really accept ourselves there's so much inner shame and self-loathing it's like the ability to wake up in the morning and say muy danilo in a very genuine and authentic way to be able to breathe it in you know how great is your ammunition next question yeah one second let me just see what this is this guy is asking something deep let me just see it one second remember jacobsen just went into the other room to ask his rabbi for the answer to this difficult question yeah okay why is it that shameless kim is always associated with yira and din but here he says you need shameless him for ava also it's not a contradiction shamely kim represents that simpson the gebura the channeling of divine energy in a way that is particular in a way that is individual and therefore it's something that can be beginning and therefore it can evoke yira and ahava because shameless kim is guru right doesn't only mean in the sense that it's only connected to awe shema kim is the way divinity is channeled in a way that can be experienced by the individual person that like he said earlier the tainough of every tsadek is unique it's completely the pleasure of this sadiq because of the way his spiritual and physical chemistry channels the divine energy and there there can be yira and ava so in this sense ali kim is called in because walden is restrictive din is about sternness discipline boundaries limitations structure din is about structure and it is about abolishing structure din is about structure ali kim is about structure containing infinity that's why it's called din that's why it's called because of that it's your path to yiris hashem and ava sasha as ali kimira as hashem allah next question mushroom was the greatest person and yet he experienced the greatest bittle how does that work that's what made him the greatest person because he was the greatest person he was experienced the greatest bit and that's what made him the greatest person when the greatest person was he was a channel for infinity i'm trying to wrap my brain around this you're saying there's hashem and there's each of us hashem has many attributes and made the same capabilities he also has many names each name channels a different attribute or middle capability but we are each one person albeit we two can have many different attributes let's say it's you and i you are my brother-in-law you're my neighbor you're my creditor you're my mash-pia you're my mentor each relationship between the two of us has differentiated aspects so we're two entities with several different relationships what is the practical difference whether we're relating via one channel or relating via another channel excellent question and this you have to learn the mymerbasilagani 5721 that we have been learning the last few weeks it's on the yeshiva.net we did yesterday segment three but if you listen to segment two and segment three this is a very very big discussion in the language of sifri a love villain about him what do you want to ask about bitterly yes how it fits in with this um yes so that's what he's saying that eli kim is eli kim is the ave and the year and havaya is the bitter matzias meaning bitter macias means when one's mathias is completely aligned and subsumed in the oneness in that which my thought cannot grasp and because my thought cannot grasp it therefore in that space i stop thinking the i transcends the thought process remember isis elokim is isis isis begins in the thought process in that which transcends the thought process there's no isis so therefore the bitter in that space is one that transcends isis and that's the bitter matzias the bitter lovely kim is the bittle that comes with ave here it is a sense of love there's a sense of awe i gravitate to you i'm in awe of you so the i experiences that relationship havaya is where the eye ceases to exist so to speak it goes to a place that's deeper than isis it's not a self-conceptualized identity but it's the way identity precedes my own issues and therefore i reach a place where my eye becomes one with a divine eye and there's no separateness and that's the oneness that precedes the act of creation so there's different layers of consciousness there's the layer of consciousness of ali kim that itself has infinite levels of course and then there's alikim coming to avaya where there is that complete alignment and complete oneness and these are very this is a it's a transformative it's a transformative state of oneness in which there is complete bitterness there is no mathias outside of hashem meaning that i reach a place that's deeper than isis within me deeper than my eye is conceptualized they have my eye the way it's conceptualized in isis the way i articulate myself through letters but then there's the eye that transcends the way i articulate myself through letters and there there is complete oneness because no thought can grasp it the moment i'm thinking about that true me i'm not thinking about the true me it's the way the me is articulated through mahashava if i can go to a place primachava over there the me is a different type of me over there the me is related to yudkevke which transcends alikin which transcends the dna of existence which transcends isis this is the same vital that facilities talks about um that it sounds like we need that bitter to get to that you can get away because ultimately eli kim is not separate from hawaii le kim is the channeling of avaya la mata so the two are not really separate on the contrary from ali kim if it's real it will bring you deeper and deeper to avaya it starts with mahashava and then from there it starts with isis and then from there you go to the place that's beyond isis sounds like a real madrega because he no it's all connected ali kim is also bitter this is what's called bitter hayash and bitter matsias bittle hayash is the first is eli kim is that the ego i realize how aligned i am with hashem and beethoven says the whole self goes through that transformation don't say yeah yeah yeah one one way of making this a little more practical is we have and this is not this is uh i just have to say this is this isn't you know a lot of internal work a lot of internal available hashem but in one very i think real and practical way ali kim is is is a tremendous insight a la kim is the ability to be able to see myself and my dna and my chemistry and my existence as a channel of divine energy that's what it is that's what elokim is i am the ziv hashina i am the light of ainsaf you are the light of ainseith just like the sun has your ray and my ray and the rays are not competing with each other each ray captures and manifests the sun that itself is very very deep place of awareness spiritual awareness physical awareness that's the source of real self-love that's the source of real self-awe it's the reason why every person has inspiration inside of them if i speak to you when i don't see something to be inspired of it's because my my my vision is blocked my vision is eclipsed because every person is a manifestation of hashem's light so there's something very inspirational about every person if i speak to a person for a few minutes to something very powerful something very inspiring if you look at yourself in the mirror and you say i'm bored of this person because you don't know who you are how could you be bored of yourself you don't know who you are now sometimes i don't know who i am so that's the that's the bit level kim bit layers that's all my conceptualized experience of self there could be a conceptualized experience of self that is wounded that's traumatized it could be a much more refined and pure and holy conceptualization of self that's the conceptualization of eli kim you as the ziv hashin as the light of ain't safe in this world and what i experience of hashem you won't experience and what you experience i won't experience that's why we each teach each other and we learn from each other now this itself is already pretty pretty powerful this itself you could fabrengan and you could sit for many years and and really connect the people and connect to yourself and connect to your loved ones and connect to god's world because each aspect of the world is a manifestation of la kim and therefore i have something to learn from you and you have something to learn from me that's why i'll say the wise person learns from everybody you don't cut yourself off from any person or from any experience because when i have to cut myself off from any person or any experience i'm really cutting myself off for myself because it's like the ray of the sun says oh i can't deal with with you whatever in fact you can't deal with me you can't deal with yourself because you come from the sun and i come from the sun so you have to deal with me that's a lick liquid from here the altar tells us the baltania says we go to one step we go yet deeper and that is not a self-conceptualized reality but the self before it's conceptualized he gave the marshall that sachel begins with the isis only at a later stage you have an idea and then it comes into isis how do i articulate myself before myself reaches articulation how do i experience the self in a pre-icy state of reality that takes a lot of a lot of meditation a lot of his blindness to be able to allow myself to go to a place where i don't experience myself through isis i experience my eye in a way that transcends isis what self is there what's left of that self in others when i stop thinking about myself and i tune into the self that's higher than thought and can't be captured by thought i watch myself thinking about myself and then i watch myself observing that i'm thinking about myself and then i watch that and i observe that and i go deeper and deeper and i observe the observer and i take notice that i'm taking notice and and it's very easy to get lost it's very easy to get stuck there it's very easy to get frustrated there but if if i go deeper and deeper and deeper i reach a place where the ali kim is a channel of utkevke but it doesn't become a trap because the individual light can go back to the state of pre-isis and then my eye is not separate anymore it's not a channel of isis it goes back to the havaya which is the source of all the oneness and there the mathias of the eye ceases to be separate at all he says because this is the avid to a place that no thought can grasp place marsha bay so it's not something that i can grasp with mahashava so when i'm in the world of mahashava when i'm in the world of thoughts i'm already in the world which is the energy is differentiated through oceans but from there he says i can't i can't skip that part but from there i can trace it back to a place that's deeper than any form of conceptualizing the self and that's where the self becomes completely aligned with the divine oneness that pervades all and pervades everything and precedes and transcends and permeates all of existence okay we'll take a little break here we'll take a little break here everybody have a beautiful day see you tonight 9 30 on the yeshiva.net for a panel discussion tomorrow morning 9 45 a.m our women's class i saw your chat and i thank you very much for your wonderful feedback ribbon seeing i wish you all a meaningful day so we have tomorrow we have tonight we have tomorrow and then we have also thursday morning we'll continue basing hashem the mimer i send you my love and blessings for a meaningful and inspiring day ready yeah yeah yeah um yes um i tried to call you last night something interesting we heard yesterday from two or three different sources is that it's very possible and i can't confirm that trump enacted the insurrection law and that the military has taken over the united states there's a something going on with the military they're going to start arresting many people because of fraud and different deals you