Torah Ohr Moshe Yedaber #3: So Many Lies Have Attached Themselves to Me — Time to Let Them All Go

a cold winter. >> You want to remember very good. Very good. Let's just hope that next year shouldn't be former [laughter] global warming. >> Okay. We're going to warm ourselves up. >> Okay, so we're up to page 135 column 2 column 2. We did the first few lines. One, two, three, four. Huh? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Today's class is dedicated by Anat Brahman in honor of her husband God ben Aveni. Thank you for your unwavering support and your deep dedication to our family with all the blessings. Amen. Thank you very very much. Okay. So last uh good again last Shia which was Shia number two we began the paragraph of K deashem yeah and here the alterba explains something extremely extremely fundamental which is really a it sheds a light on so many suglanations and so many of in my and I'm going to suggest whoever didn't hear it should listen to the second class because it's very fundamental ideas and the main is that Kana says in her prayer k is hashem what's k is hashem so he tes hashem consists so to speak of two perceptions or contains within himself kis hashem encompasses encompasses two deis and those two deas are not just you say two opinions those two deis From them come all the deas in the world. You understand when it says here, why two? There's a lot of deas. The answer is there's only two. >> Yeah. >> Root of >> these two deas are the root of all the other deas in the world literally. In other words, everything can be traced back to one of these two deas. And this is a very important to understand. That's why it's ke these two deis. It's tekk or at least it seem it seems as two. Let's put it that way. It begins as a duality as deas. And from these two deas come everything else. All the deas in the world come from one of these two days. And you could trace it back to one of these two deas. One of these two deas. One is laayesh or matay and one is layeshay. Laya means the higher you go. Laya. What does it mean? Higher. Higher doesn't mean on top of the empire state building. Higher means the deeper you go into infinity, the less the more no thing it is, the more nothing it is, the more no thing, less tangible it is. The more it's concretized in a finite structure that can be measured, seen, perceived, understood, experienced with as a finite measure. The more you go higher than that, the more you touch yesesh, the more you touch real reality. And the lower you go, meaning the more concrete, the more defined is more iron. What do I mean more in? More iron means the less real, the less substantial, the more dumbed down, diluted version of reality. Like he says, it's the other perception is the opposite. The more mata it is, the more yesesh, the more I can measure it, the more I can touch it, the more I can feel it, the more I can define it, the more I can describe it. And even lower is more yesesh. More yeses. More yes. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. And these are the two deas in life. There's always the approach. You're looking for the laaha and the more and the more la it is, the more yash it is. And the more la, the more iron it is. And the opposite approach is no. On the contrary, you're looking for the la for the when you're looking for the yesesh, you're looking for the l. And when you're looking at la, because you are looking at lama, we're talking here allus. One is one is right. One is a lower unity, one is a higher. So you're looking up, but over there it's ayah. And uh for example, you have a person, a moral person, and there's a there's a fence, a little fence, and the fence has a sign. The sign says, "No trespassing, private property." Yeah. Or better knife. [laughter] Yeah. If there's a chicken or a deer that comes there, what does that sign mean to them? What's the answer? absolutely nothing. It's not that the sign is not there. It's there, but it's it's anything. Doesn't it doesn't say anything to the world of the horse or the deer or the squirrel or the bird or the or the or the chicken or the duck. It's a zgarnish. It's not a mitas. Yeah, it may be a mitas in the sense that there's a physical uh there's a physical sign there and they may touch it. For a moral person, that mitzas is stronger than a tall fence. A tall fence I could climb over. If I know how to climb over the sign that says it's private property sign, whatever it is, I don't give you permission to come in there. This is this is this is right. It becomes much more mitas in in in in the world of in the world of the animal. It doesn't even exist. Not because they don't want to. It's it's not like it's it's they don't argue with it. It never landed in that place. Yeah. Convince a nail to go in to the suka because it's sukus and you have to build a suka. The nail says, "What are you talking about?" The nail understands one language. It's called a hammer. >> A clap. Yeah. What do they say for somebody uh for somebody who's a hammer? The whole world is only nails, right? [laughter] If you're a hammer, everything is a nail. What What else do you want me to do? Yeah. when you're talking to a to to a mature person, right? It's the opposite. If you if you're going to if you're going to take a hammer, they'll run away. They'll call the play. They're not building your suka. Here, what is persuasion? Can we have a conversation? It's sukas. We have to build a suka. I'm just giving different examples. Yeah. In the world of the nail, it's not like he has an issue with it doesn't exist. Didn't register. It's it's not it's not a mitas. Yeah. In the world of abal. It's much more the mitz than anything else. If you persuade somebody, you inspire them with an idea to the point that they really are on fire. You touch them in a much deeper way than if you if if you took them by force. Took them by force. At best, you force them at the moment. And the first opportunity they'll they'll leave. If you persuaded them through words, through ideas, through passion, now now you touch them. So what's in one world? Yesesh, is in another world. And what's in one world is in another world. Yes. And so it goes level after level after level after level. Yeah. If you bring you go to a concert and you bring a a dunkey into the concert, could be the most beautiful, I don't know, opera house or concerto and you have a a symphony with with with 600 piece orchestra >> and that people are melting away. People who love music, they're melting away ecstasy, right? And then you bring in your your horse. You want your horse to be entertained. You want your your donkey to be entertained. You want your goat or sheep to be entertained. And all they have to say is [laughter] me. I don't know. Maybe some some animals they say that some animals are sensitive to music. So maybe the example doesn't work. >> Uh yeah, I think some elephants whatever. But but you understand this is the nud. So in every level of reality you have this. So generally there's two perceptions and all perceptions in the world come from one of these two either or on the contrary one is called the higher unity meaning the unity the way it is from why is it higher higher doesn't mean the higher floor the way it is means the way it is when you're on top looking down and one is when you're on the bottom looking up in both you're looking both fections but in one you're on top looking down meaning the way actas is perceived from ultimate reality so then ultimate reality is a the less definition the less description the less thingness the more reality there's also l because that was created but how is it created through filters and concealments and layers and layers and layers so it's really ko it's minuscule and it's a given like one drop in subsumed in the whole Atlantic ocean yeah there's a drop there no But it's mish like of yamakayanas. That's what it is. And here it's even more than that. Cuz over there the drop of water is the same quality like the rest of the water. It's just in quantity. It's much smaller. Here you're talking about a reality that its entire reality took shape only because infinity had to be eclipsed and eclipsed and eclipsed in billions and billions and myriads and until it became a reality that can be incarnated into a physical coffee bean or apple or orange or squirrel or human being. So it's exists but it's that's but it's the opposite. I'm down here and I'm looking up. So I'm looking up and I understand that there's up and I feel that there's up perhaps but la is more yes and the mila is ion. And if it's more mila it's more [panting] right if it's a little bit laa it's somewhat iron but if it's completely not graspable then it's if it's completely then it's completely iron. I I I I I can't even register it. confidence. >> Yeah. [snorts] >> Interesting. You're saying the difference of fractals and big numbers. >> Big numbers. When you think of a big number, right? When you single, it's like a fractal >> versus a fractal. >> I hear. >> Yeah. >> Right. Right. >> Right. >> Yeah. And >> yeah, >> you could do it, >> right? >> And it evolves. It evolves. What's the definition of mitsus? Reality completely depends on where the person stands. Like we spoken last year, it's it's the holes in the net. The net that I'm using will describe and define the fish that I catch and all other fish don't exist. [laughter] They don't exist. But it's extremely also helpful in relationships when you understand this that every person really experiences reality from where they're standing. It it's very true. I have a net and that net will tell me what fish there are here in the ocean, how many fish there are, what they look like, what size they are. And I'm convinced that I'm completely authentic and honest because this is really my net. I'm not manipulative. I'm not lying. I'm not deceptive. This is my net perception. >> Now, with nets, we could all understand it. Nobody can argue about that. But when it comes to the internal world, it's much more nuanced. It's much more complex. So, the, you know, the courage to be able to examine the net that I'm using in order to define reality. That takes a lot of courage because that really goes back to the basics. What are the nets that we're using in order to define reality? >> Yeah. It's a very humbling process and it goes deeper and deeper and deeper. What is the definition of mitsus? For a child, mitsus is one reality. For as you grow older, that reality is still a mitz, but you can't compare it to a deeper mitz. And then when you grow further, you grow more, the other mitsus may still be there. But leg this mitz, it's it's it's mamish koy. It's mamish kay. Like I give the example of a toy versus a check for $100,000, you know, versus versus a deep emotion or versus maybe one of the deepest awarenesses that you'll have in your life, you know, h how real is that? Sometimes that is so real it it eclipses all other realness in the world. Even though what what you saw something? No. But but you perceived something. Yeah. Could you take it to the bank? What are you going to take to the bank? What are you going to cash? >> Right. Right. And we all know like I said last time in our bodies or in the world you know when you talk about invisible reality it's usually the more invisible it is the more impactful it is the more significant it is. People who have access to the invisible dimensions of reality are much more dangerous than people who have access to the visible dimensions of reality. The less visible it is usually the much more yesesh it is. Even though from the outside it doesn't even exist. I don't even I may have we may have never for thousands of years we may have never even known it exists because we didn't have the tools. You talk about atom you talk about atomic energy for example right with with our eyes who sees who you don't see atoms you don't see atomic energy but don't mess with atomic energy and the same is true with so many other things you know backend programs the underlying forces things like electricity things like viruses infections germs bacteria you know cells what cells are made up of DNA all these things the DNA in a person's body Yeah. The genes in a person's body nobody saw it till the 1950s. They did not know there's a mitz is called DNA. That's just a couple of years ago for thousands of years. So you say, "Oh, it's not so relevant. It's not so relevant really. It's literally the blueprint for every single nud in the body." So the same is true with everything in reality. So here you have a vivid example even in the world of science and physicality that sometimes right the more invisible which means the moa the less tangible much more yesesh that which we see and grasp those are outer layers that are important they're significant that's how that that that's what we relate to but in terms of ultimate reality that's just an outer manifestation of a much deeper truth and it's only because of a particular position which is a very defined position based on what my the chemistry of my eye the chemistry of my brain it's how I can grasp that version of reality and that's what it is [clears throat] just rec to to basically create like ornaments that if you continue to increase the big number The ornament has become smaller, smaller, smaller and more more beautiful. So you can take stay take one shape and that shape grows on the edges and the edges of the edges and the edges of the edges and it becomes a gorgeous ornament. It's called mund numbers you discovered in last century. Basically the infinity you go even into fractals it becomes much more infinite picture and never ending and it's the picture is always more >> so it doesn't matter if it's a big number infinity like we understand >> what is it called mundlebrite >> mund numbers >> you're thinking of mandrite [laughter] >> mundlebrite numbers wow okay >> so these are the two perceptions from which All perceptions in the world come and as I said every single day in the world can be traced back to one of these two perceptions. Every sing there's not a day in the world that can't be traced back to these two perceptions. So when you say kale deis it's not just two opinions about akas. It's really the deis that encompass every single day in the world. Obviously the spectrum is very very large when I say all the day is in the world but essentially you could trace back just like you could trace back you know the apple tree from today to an apple tree that existed thousands of years ago ultimately it's every day it could be traced back to one of these twoas and either the more ma the more yes or the kapa said the more mil the more yesesh and the more ma the more and says that their scale day is we don't say one is a mistake. One is a mistake. You're living in delusions. You're living in error. What do we know? You're primitive. Yeah, chickens don't know about signs. Yeah, they're chickens and they don't have brains. That's not the important to understand the two perspectives and it's important to understand what it means. But we say in other words that as he said that is >> doesn't matter where you look >> so it doesn't matter where you looking >> you look into abstract you will find infinity you go down you'll find the same >> exactly >> so that's why of science and theories that ultimately it doesn't matter where you're looking from and that's the revolution here in other words as I said last time the first vort is critical to be able to understand that disparity but here the is that just like the more lower you go it's also doesn't matter how you look just like if you look up what are you going to find you're going to find infinity is reality if you're looking from a higher perspective infinity is reality. The more finite, the less real, even if it exists, but it's colloy. When you're looking at the Atlantic Ocean, you're not going to say that the drop of the ocean that's more important than the ocean. It's a drop in the ocean. It's a drop. It's there. But how can you compare to the ocean? If I want to show you the Atlantic Ocean, I'm not going to take a cup of water, lift it up with it, bring you to the house, say, "Here's the Atlantic Ocean. You don't have to spend more. You don't have to spend money on vacation." It's true. It is the Atlantic Ocean. It is. Here, [laughter] look. You don't have to go anywhere. Why? Why you running to Florida? Here you have the ocean and it's not even frozen. Huh? >> Exactly. I'll give you a map and I'll give you a cup. So, it's all it's it's a it's a it's funny, right? Because that's really the the more it is. It's literally like that's what I'm touching. I'm not touching reality. I'm touching reality. But it's like I'm taking you to the ocean. And I'm filling up one cup, one drop of water. I'm bringing you and saying this is it. I'm reducing reality to that. >> It's true. It's true. The metaphor is a very very poor metaphor because even the ocean relative to the whole planet, never mind the ocean to the whole universe. >> Actually, ocean to the whole planet is like less than the skin of the apple is thinner than the right. So that's even the ocean relative to the planet. Now imagine the ocean relative to the universe and all this is still in quantity. Now you're talking here in a different type of quality but it's it's just mashim to give this perspective comes down to and says nonetheless is both that ultimately the two mirror each other that deep down is not a contradiction to you just it's two perceptions and you have to grow up. Yeah either I'll grow up I won't grow up but that's what growing up means. But the truth is what's missing in that that nobody ever really grows up. Because as much as I grow up, I grow up, I grow up, I'm still I so that means ultimately there's a real disparity because you don't really grow up. I'll always remain that chicken. I'll always remain that horse. The question is maybe I can hear a concert. But then there's something else I can't hear. There's something else for me that's so that's not the ultimate v. That vart would be giving up on creation. That vart would be yeah it's immature babies whatever. Let them play in their sandbox and think that sandbox is reality. Kids in the sandbox and sandbox is all of reality. That's what is and everything else is ayah. You tell the children here we have an unbelievable theory that can explain the string theory of the universe and they'll say go get a life. Pass the ice cream. I this will change and upend the universe. Sean, you can upend your universe. I'm in my sandbox. So that's what life looks like. The truth is it's both that really not contradictory even though they are but it's actually mirroring. It's two mirrors of reality and as I said it's like a mirror mirrors the opposite. So is mirroring but in the opposite. So says the opposite. And says and yeah, this mirrors this reality. The two are not essentially there. And you say contradictions. You're here or there, but rather it's two ultimately it's two versions of of of oneness. >> No separation. >> Yeah. But that's the that's the that's the whole revolution of this is the revolution of [laughter] I mean if you could say it this is this is a revolution first understand the difference in other words you don't just say okay it's the same thing that's not what he's saying there's two days and they're opposite on every single level >> huh yeah but the the themes that is both that just like Mila ly the same truth is also mata la but over there it's not expressed through saying over there it's expressed through saying how do you even begin to understand this so for this says this is in olive I told you after she brought she had a baby and she brought him to the mishkan and he started to serve a so she Kana gave her special song and praise of so that's where because Rashashana is the time when Kana was remembered to have a child according to the he was born on Rish certainly says I'm sorry her prayer was on but I'll in the buton she says so the most say it means Hashem has all the perceptions he knows what everybody's thinking and he has he knows he has the mindset of everybody's schemes alilas everybody's actions there's a very interesting thing is with an al but it's pronounced with so it's one of those mystical things in where there's a and we don't know why so he says no it's of that creates from the word like when things are aligned with each other it's called they're with each other they're parallel with each other the become through with an al which is and through with which is mitzvah mitzvah says not and means to him with is the positive and are two opposite words but they're pronounced the same way like so it's and the that's what's and what we and this was the last point last night because the of mitzvah is that you cannot do a single mitzvah without yes if you don't have the yesesh the We perceive yesh I don't mean the way la perceives yesesh if you want you can't do a mitzvah the only way you could do any mitzvah necessitates a yesesh if you want to put tit so you need a sheep with a yesesh and it's and it's and it has colors and it has a certain way of perceiving real it has a certain reality that's defined and condensed and the same is true with every every other single >> mitzvah yes interesting tool. >> It's the tool. >> Very very often we celebrate the future rewards instead of >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Ultimately >> So when you say Hashem invested himself in mitzvah, this is his will, what does it really mean? It means that there's something in the yesesh that speaks to his essence. So it's not just you're immature and it's how we see it and we're going to get for it and it's a struggle and you we develop more and more and more but there's something much deeper that the yesesh is another version of it's a version of it's not a contradiction to even though the version is an opposite version you know version 2.0 Zero is opposite from version 0.1. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Say why? >> Yeah. So there's the real there's a real reality in it. It's not like again it's a fake reality and the more you evolve you shift from fake reality to true reality. That's a true that's a true idea because I could live in a fake reality. That's why it's so important to understand the difference. I could live my entire life in a fake reality because the yesesh that's divorced from the loy and the is a very very uh >> uh contaminated or or so much fake and and and nauseating the inauthenticity of it especially when you get down to lower levels of yesesh it's so inauthentic it's extremely inauthentic right when you say It means when they look at the mat like you you're looking at something. So it's like when you take that so seriously and you live in that world it's like it's repulsive because it's a lie. And whenever you turn a lie into ultimate reality, >> you just downloaded something. >> That's how it goes. The deeper you go in, >> the more the more exciting it is. >> Wow. >> That's it's like a fractal of the fractals of the fractals and the picture never ends. And the more you go, it's >> so mandro the deeper you go, the more beautiful it becomes. So that's an example for this. Yeah. >> Endless. Yeah. Yeah. >> Complex number. [snorts] >> Yeah. >> And it's also true in a person's emotional life. You know, the more the more you're worked out, the less you have patience on one level with with fakeness because because you you touch something true like you're not interested in in in coverups and and and and lies and superficial realities that are that are not real, that are not authentic, and it becomes more and more. It becomes less and less significant to the point that you can't even look at it. It doesn't it doesn't even mean anything. And yet for another person they may be stuck completely in that reality and yet how does one make peace with those parts in ourselves because we all have those parts in ourselves. So that's what alterb is saying that it's not sta mistake that the yesesh has its own mystique. It has its own purpose. It has its own mission to be able to be worked through because that is where the fragmented parts of reality that seem so fragmented need to be able to be worked through and aligned. So they do gain not only significance but they in many ways become a mirror image of when you do that type of work. So that's what he's ah yeah purpose. >> Yeah not only a purpose but the purpose [snorts] and that's what he continues. So, we're holding the line. You see it? One, two, three, four, five, six lines that becomes like the What do you mean becomes that the same truth that exists in LA where the same truth exists? the same truth of reality even though I'm down here and this is the lawy and the lawy that we spoke about it says in let us make in our image in our vis says that on a deeper level what this means is how does an become in our image says in my image on the on the throne that is the and represents which according to represents because they represent the internal depth of his will and wisdom where there is no concealment. So in that world, in that reality, the does not eclipse anymore on the light of which dwells in the on the contrary, the entire yesesh is a tool for in the world of the whole yesesh is just an opportunity to be like we spoke last time a Jew wants to say but he can't. It's a But he's inspired. He's motivated. He wants to scream. So what does he do? So he takes a cup of coffee or he takes a cup of oranges or takes a cup of water and suddenly this water and the moment you go to a higher frequency even a microscope you'll see that there's no water here. Ready? Go to a molecular level never atomic level never subatomic. Then when you go toem it's all only because only because H2O two atoms of hydro what is it H2O two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen and that's still not enough. It has to be formulated in a way that we can't see the true reality of it because it's too tiny. All we can see is water and it looks like real water and suddenly you can make a shak. So the whole is not as it's not that's the down here becomes of [snorts] through the through them he accesses and reveals that it should be down here just like it's up there. So that is not only said in law, it's also said in not because there's no we're talking about not there's I'm not I'm looking up but I'm looking from down and when you're looking from down but the of is the down here becomes just like we said before Hashem does mitzvah so you become This is his and now the person accesses and becomes that down here because that is not anymore a concealment and this is the meaning of the it says everybody knows these words don't make means don't desecrate don't violate my holy name. So the word comes from the word like says no the word comes the word in Hebrew means empty right you say there's an emptiness that was left in the room so means what's the don't make believe that there's any place that's empty of anoid mulvad That's that's the expression of pushing away the legs of the push away the leg of the is here. Don't push it away. The moment a person goes into a space where I am broken, I'm lonely, I'm nobody, I'm I'm I'm empty, that's the moment that's because what does that mean? It means that inside of me, God doesn't exist. Somehow I am a lost case. I am the fragmented piece that fell away. Anoid mulvad everywhere besides in my heart. [clears throat] I'm the exception. [laughter] In other words, I'm God. I'm God. Anid but one place he really can't reach and that's inside of me. Me, I'm a lost case. That's if you want to know what is that's [panting] [snorts] not we have to hide all the evil that's being done in communities so that the newspapers don't find out. That's note that's a keshm to expose things. What's hashem is when the person starts experiencing life as this is a place that's completely empty. In other words, there's no presence of the divine here. There's no presence of infinity. And I have good proof. There's a here. So that's the whole of that the shouldn't become. It shouldn't be. This is what the says. I will put my words in your mouth. So he says, my words in your mouth. It's not just you'll repeat what I'm saying. It means my words will be in your mouth. meaning your mouth is a channel for my words. So the yesesh is not anymore contradiction. The yesesh is a channel. It's a channel through the yesesh not through. This channel can only happen in the yesesh that your mouth becomes a channel for these words initi. So mitzvah generally are called garments. They encompass the person is called food because it's integrated because they do two things. A mitzvah like when you eat food it becomes part of you. When you wear a garment it doesn't become part of you but it protects you. It it surrounds you. mitzvah are called and is called muslin. Like it says in your is in my stomach. Why what does mean? Because he's trying to explain that that's what is when you eat food and it's digestible food. It's not food anymore. It becomes part of your bloodstream. Real learning is it becomes so integrated it becomes part of you. It's not anymore. It's something separate. It's how you think. It's how you feel. That's what real learning is. Real learning is not just this information stacked in your brain. That's not learning. It's like taking food and having the food stuck in your throat. That's not eating. Salah. The food stuck. That's not what eating is. Eating is it becomes part of you. That's what pim means. That's what m is. And that's the power of learning. What does learning do? It changes the person internally. You're a different person. The way you look at the world is different. Not only about what you learn. Everything. It changes you. That's what real learning is. That's why it's called muzz. A mitzvah is a lavush. It protects you. When I put on fillain, I can't say that the fillain becomes me. That sits as become me. The putting on of the muza, a mitzvah is a mak. It's an it's a divine energy that encompasses the person, but it's not integrated into the internal system of the person. The learning of it, that's the of says that's why there's two. One is and one is one creates the and then there's the it's an expression that the internal is from the word the internal dimension of the soul is tiled with love meaning internally you're filled with it says your god is a consuming fire. They're both like fire. Hav represents represents mitzvah. So these two and becomes they're both a consuming fire. What does that mean? Metaphor. If you place fire inside of a vessel but also around the vessel automatically the fire is going to gravitate from one side all the other side. So the entire vessel will be consumed in the flame. If you only put fire on the outside it may penetrate, it may not penetrate. It may not be so deep. But if you put fire on the inside and fire on the outside now it's a hopeless situation. Because from any angle the fire is going to go through. Inside is burning, outside is burning. At some point the fires are going to meet and the whole ki is consumed. Is the fire on the inside. Mitzvah is the fire on the outside. by having one is on the inside of the kali and one is on the outside of the kali is is pimi on the inside and mitzvah is on the outside. So they have the potency to have the kayak to completely consume, elevate, burn up the is the brutess, the separateness, the gas. Gasus is the coarseness, the the crudness, the arrogance, the separateness of the animal consciousness which eclipses the light of which permeates it that it appears as a yesh that's completely it's divorced from Hashem. So if I have only a on the inside it's powerful. If I have only on the outside it's powerful but it's not completely consuming. That's the of and the isit is both have. So you have mitzvah the on the inside which means the fire that's integrated into the person's ideas and feelings and thoughts like food. And you have the mitzvah which is theem that encompasses you both what are they reveal what are they doing they're helping you see the from the perspective of so that the two become one and that's two words and one is through and one is through and that way the whole what do we The Bahamas, the Baham is the part that sees itself always as separate and detached and divorced. In other words, the divorced from Hashem that could be consumed in the flame. Which flame? The flame of oneness, the flame of infinity. So that which is the classic example of of of layesh is really just another tool for connection and for relationship. It's not separate and that he says because it feels separate. That's why it requires its cleansing. Why? Because it's needed because it experiences itself as separate. So is describing here what's ganim is getting rid of the perception that I'm alone, that I'm separate, that I'm broken. Yeah. >> Huh. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> In other words, he it looks like he's just saying he's really describing what what's the what's the essence of gem? The real essence of gehennam is like this is the key. It's cleansing. He says what is it? It conceals the to experience itself as a yesh and a separate thing. That's what ganam is for.cess. >> The process of cleansing the the experience of myself as being broken, lonely, detached, separate. The need of my ego or my insecurity to always remain separate and self-contained and divorced from unified reality and to build my life around that trying to protect my individuation as separate from That is what hell looks like. Forgive my English. And that's exactly what hell is trying to help you help us heal from. That is what ganam really is. And that is the part that needs that needs that experience. >> Yeah. That is the cleansing. >> Not only the winner. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's a very difficult paradigm. >> Not really. wants to be consumed in the fire. >> You don't want to be alone. >> Well, we're looking at it physically. Yeah, I understand. >> But the truth is that's true. The mush is an intense mush. But when you're talking about emotionally, it's the opposite. >> Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> To Yeah, >> it's it's yeah, it's really extricating all the all the all the dirt, all the filth. So in a person's life in a person's life [snorts] he says what's the it's the part in the person that is completely aligned and is comfortable in its vulnerability and therefore completely comfortable in its being subsumed in oneness that there's no gene over there. Why? Because that is your truth. You you are in touch with truth and you're radiating it and you're channeling it. Gehennam is challenging the fakeness in me. >> It's not a punishment. It's exposing it's exposing the fake parts but in a way that I can't deny it anymore. And then it gives me an opportunity. You want to let it go or you don't want to let it go. Whatever you want. And everybody knows what they will want at that moment. It's very clear. So the perception of ganim simply means that I cannot deny anymore all these fake parts in me. So imagine my entire life not even consciously is based on fakeness. And the deepest fakeness is not that I'm trying to be seductive and I'm going to manipulate and liar. I mean you have that too in in life. But the real the deepest fakeness is that it's not even intentional. It's the sense that I am separate. I'm separate from an [snorts] I'm a wretched small creature and therefore I need my ego to protect me and your validation to help me feel real and significant. And my entire identity evolves around that. The compliments create me. The criticism breaks me. And if somebody's challenging me, that's a form of a death threat. And every person in their own life whatever that means right every person in that life the way we shift and shape and assume that identity but whatever it is it's in order to hold on to the so my sometimes the core of the philosophy that makes me tick is one big lie it's literally one big lie it's it's a fiction it's myth even though I may have made it very successful And sometimes my entire life is dedicated to avoid seeing that it's all fake. You have to realize sometimes we create we're so sophisticated we create such developed developed skills and tools that help us avoid ever seeing the truth. Our protectors do not allow us to see anything of the truth because if they do that's one of the most dangerous realities. My entire life is built on this fakeness. So now I have to see it. I won't be able to live with myself. >> That's and that's ganim. >> That's ganim. The only difference is that in this world I don't call that ganim. My gehenn becomes ganed because for 10 minutes I feel good about myself. That's the lie that we can do in this world. We can turn geanim into ganed, but we know deep down it's ganim. So we go deeper into gehenn and we make bigger signs that this is ganeden. And when those signs don't work, we make bigger signs. And when that doesn't work, we accuse the sign makers as being frauds, fake, and phonies. And we hire a new company to make unbelievable signs that this is gunen. >> And this is what life looks like for many of us. first. >> Yeah. And the rest of our life, we're taking the first guy to court for making such horrible signs. Yeah. I I I mean this, of course, metaphorically because it's not a sign. But you understand what I'm saying? And when I get a little older and maybe I get a little smarter, I need a better sign. I need a more sophisticated sign. But the main thing is it should say everywhere, this is Grenaden, Grenaden, Grenaden, Grenaden. And the moment I get into a relationship with somebody who challenges that they become enemy number one and it's really all in in a funny way it's just the yes trying to protect itself. It's really trying to protect protect protect itself. And then comes one time in life that I actually face reality and it's like oh my god wow the pain of letting go of that reality that is ganam. The pain of letting go that reality of cleansing these lies cleans living myself saying this is not me this is not me what do you mean it's not me 50 years this is me 53 years this is me 63 years what do you mean it's not me of course it's me no it's not me you know how hard that is if something is entrenched you know you have oil entrenched in your shirt it was soaking in oil like a latka for 50 years and now you have to take it out the shirt says this is me no it's not you a beautiful shirt just think of the bread you're a beautiful soul. It's not you. It's not you. You're not rotten. You're not rotten. You're not a sick. You're not sick. You're not a traumatized sick person. You're not. You're actually a beautiful person. No. This is me. This is me. Do you know what that process is? Or we call that gehenn. >> That's the biggest bliss in this world to experience. >> Of course, this is this is the deepest bliss. So why do we call gem painful? Because there is a deep pain there. It is a very deep pain because I have been convinced that this is me and I have been holding on to it and I've been holding on with with it for my life. I've been holding on to it. >> Huh? [laughter] >> What do they say? A good politician. Yeah. Good diplomat, right? He sends you to hell, but he makes you look forward to the to the journey. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In other words, there's a part of what makes it ganim is that the y is screaming. You're amputating your legs. You're amputating your heart. You're amputating your brain. Of course, that's ganam. Just imagine that somebody comes and starts amputating. Of course, that's ganam. Who's screaming that? The yesesh because his homeus was separate AND THAT YOU'RE TAKING AWAY from him. That's amputation. The moment you go into your ion and you surrender, you're not amputated. You're a safe breathe. >> Now you could breathe. Yeah. There's moments a person goes through sometimes gam in this world. And what's the process? The process is that the y starts screaming. If you continue this journey of your own healing, one of two things is going to happen. Either you're going to die or you're going to end up in an insane asylum for the rest of your life. That's the yesh saying. Without me, you're dead or mug. I'm the one who kept you normal. The reason you're a respected person in the community is because of me. >> Yeah. Ah, you're in Ghanim. But everybody thinks it's Ganeden and it's good for the kids. At least the kids will be in Ganeden. But next level, >> huh? [laughter] >> Next level for the kids, for the kind I'm the one who kept you normal. I'm the one I made you alive. I made you a respectable person. Everything me without this either become a mishuga and they'll put a sign on you that you're mug or you're a dead man. So of course the yesesh is screaming don't do this. It's it's amputation. The yesesh screams this is amputation. You're cutting off an arm and a leg. That's not that's painful or not. The only thing a person can do then is surrender. And when they surrender, they realize they were never a yes. They were always saying sorry. Ah, wow. Oh, this wasn't me. Okay, leave it alone. But that process, that process is ganim. The yesesh creates the ganim and the yesesh needs that ganim. And then you can let it go. Yeah. And that's why it's called fire. What does fire do? >> It destroys it. It It goes into those places. It says either you're part of the fire or you don't belong here. Is oneness. And in that oneness there's endless passion and heat and love and bliss. And the yesesh says, "No, I'm separate. I'm separate. them separate. The vulnerability of letting go is really ganed, but it can be interpreted by the yesesh as ganam. It's extremely vulnerable. So the yesesh screams this is ganam. It's the worst thing. And he explains this is the says on the end of the says what's so doesn't mean like he always says in my somebody who was a scholar who learned a lot means of so he says and that's it. Because so has the on the inside, the mitzvah on the outside. What happens when you have the fire on the inside ON THE OUTSIDE? THE fire meets. Boom. So it cleanses inside and outside. Right. So he says SO becomes so what's the what's the need for you don't need so that's the it's not the idea if I learn a lot I sit and I learn a lot I mean that's a beautiful thing but here means somebody that becomes that's Two souls meet. >> The two souls meet. Then allows itself to be surrendered in the flame of one in the flames of oneness. >> Yeah. That's why because you need the fire on the inside, the fire on the outside. Where's the you don't have to let go of anything. You became a complete complete channel. So then it's all part of that. Nothing has to be burnt out, so to speak. Nothing needs to be cleansed. [snorts] What's this whole with the mountain is on fire. God speaks from fire. Everybody's with on fire. What is it? Was like a fireworks show by mountain. The fire is burning and the smoke and the fire speaks from the fire. What does that mean? It's all a metaphor. It's all a metaphor for Gilm to be able to remove, to eliminate, to clean out, to burn out all of the infections, all of the definitions of reality that are alien to the true core of reality, which is anoid mulvad. But in it's easy. Over there, it's intuitive. That's the reality. That's a that was the who continues to live in that frequency of of course. So the gendum is always relative to how many fake stories I created to substitute my real identity with a fictional identity. It's ganim. If you want to put it in simple words, gehenn is not anything new. Ghanim just shows you what this is good. Ghanim shows you what you were living with your whole life. That's what it does, but it shows it to you. That's painful. And that's why we call talk about the future with because in this world I could live with gehenna my whole life and say it's gan and I do it very well. Deep down I know it's ganim. Deep down everybody knows it's ganim. Deep down. Unless they're completely fried, their brains are completely fried, which also happens. Maybe they took enough drugs or alcohol. So then then they're not here anymore. But anybody who's here know, but in this world, I can deny it and deny it and deny it and deny it and deny it and deny it. Not only that, I may not even know that there's anything outside of gehennam, which is the worst gahan. The worst geanum is that you don't even know it. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, that there's a reality outside of gem. My nervous system is so shot, is so disoriented, so never experienced safety that I don't even know there's something outside of this. The best I can hope for is that are always available. >> That's the best. That's that's my grenaden. And that's why we put on the that's the I could love to and if it's then it's ganed. If it's not, if it's brown instead of black, it's ganed. So that's sometimes the highest perception I can get. A vacation here, a distraction here, distraction here. That is the ultimate in I just can't delude myself anymore. I could see I see it. It's like suddenly everything is open. All the defenders are gone. All the blockages are removed. Here face it. It's the greatest favor you can do somebody. But you have to be a kay for it. So it's always proportionate to what is really going on inside of me and therefore what I need to let go of. And that's the moment I I want to let go of it. Y everybody's understanding this year. >> Huh? >> Of course this is this is don't hear any of this with judgment. I always tell if you're hearing these my with judgment you're not hearing the mimer. It's another gehennam. [laughter] It's another I'm horrible. I'm worse. I'm guilt. I'm shamed. That's the opposite of the whole point. >> Hen is to get rid of all of that. Yeah. >> There is two types of fire. >> Yeah. >> Destructive. >> Destructive fire. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Very good. >> He's talking about something. >> So that's that's very you've defined it beautifully. When we say, we can hear fire that's going to destroy you or we can hear like fire of love. Like it says in Hashem speaks. What does that mean? I want to destroy you. I'm I'm Look, look at me. I'm a raging fire. I'm going to come kill all of you. The fire from Harina. I'm coming right down like a train that's unstoppable. Right. An F-16. I'm going to burn all of you up. Like that was Martin. [laughter] I took you out of so that the train could come and just kill all of you in one second. Boom. Harishimo Nagasaki. You think that was bad? I'll show you my fire. But what if we can look at it as a fire of engulfing you with love? >> With warmth. Yeah. Literally with literally warmth. That's the That's the idea. Bliss is very associated with openheartedness, with warmth. It's like that safety, that security, that ability to surrender, to go into the relaxation. You're actually safe. actually loved. You know, we people describe love as a warm feeling, not as a cold feeling. Why? Maybe it's a cold. So, we all understand. Go into your heart and you'll see the energy of love is associated with warmth, not with coldness. Because the warmth represents openness. The warmth represents, you know, you're cold, everybody protects themselves. In warmth, we can like let go. Things congeal into oneness. You say was such a warm feeling. What does it mean? A was a warm what was a warm feeling? The heat actually wasn't working. It wasn't so warm. A warm feeling, we all know what that means. A warm feeling means when people could let go. They're not defending themselves. You say it's a cold place. It's a cold sh. People say some shuls are cold. What does it mean? It's a cold sh. The heat is very good in that shul. >> Huh? >> But but the is like don't get close to me. Don't get close to me because I sue anybody that gets close to me. And I don't even have to sue you. looking at me will already feel like you're being sued. >> Yeah. And never mind if you sit on my place and then it's already cuz I walked in and somebody was sitting on my place. And the truth is if my whole religion is about protecting my comfort zone, the worst thing is somebody sitting in your place. It like disorients you. Like I finally come to schul, right? My whole life is chaos inside. And even if it's not chaos, unconsciously there's so much. I have one place where I'm protected and that's my seat. And now this lowife Ghan of Gazlin Shakran is sitting there. That's gem. You have a bigger gehenn. So the point is say plots. We all understand what that means. It means there's walls. It's very you come into a house. It's a cold house. You can I'm giving you the cold shoulder. She's giving me the cold shoulder. What does that mean? The shoulder doesn't mean cold physically. That's the idea that the fire is it lets go in a good way. It lets go of all the things and people could become one. What allows people to become one? >> What allows people to become one is letting go of the parts of us that have to protect ourselves and force us to be detached from each other which are all normal human parts. It's all normal human parts. And sometimes you're in a situation Yeah. where you have to protect yourself. If you're a bunch of sharks around you, you got to protect yourself. I mean, if you're in Gaza, yeah, protect yourself. Like, I don't you should have become one with your environment, right? All in one, one and all. Like, you know, like you Yeah, that's that's part of the yesesh. That's part of gennim. But in a in a real moment of worth, people can just let go. They can let go of all the layers that obstruct us because there's trust. The only way I can do that is if I don't feel you're going to use me. If I feel you're going to use me and manipulate, I'm not going to do it. Nobody will do it. So, as long as we feel Hashem as using us or competing with us or or trying to control us, if that's Hashem, of course, I'm going to stay in a posture of gehenn. So sometimes the worst gem is letting go of our images of God, which is of letting go of that. That's the gem. It's literally burning up statues. You know when you put metals, you put metal in fire and it burn. is literally burning up statues of deities of God. I think that's a very good definition. Burning them up. Literally burning up all these images in our brain and letting go of them. Letting go. And then the biggest of is burning up our image of ourselves as separate. That's the biggest of the biggest of is turning me into an egotistical or insecure entity. That's the biggest of a desire [snorts] instead of a channel of so the moment the becomes aligned with there's no ganam separation >> there's no separation there's no separation there's no gam and not because there's no yesh there is a yesh but the yesh is a tool for the separateness is only a tool if there's no there's no kit if you go to It's impossible and ganed is on a very high mga but the mitzvah of he can't do and the mitzvah of he can't do they're [cough and clears throat] on very high mas over there but for an estric you have to have an estric tree you have to have a farmer and you have to have earth and you have to deal with bacteria and worms and viruses and pesticide and law there's no pesticide huh Yeah, if it's before davening, you have to go to the bathroom. To go to the bathroom, you have to have a toilet to have a with all of that's only happens in and you're not allowed to say Hashem's name there. And yet that's the you understand. So everything becomes it's not that the parts of me there's I said it's an unbelievable once said if the of life is people spend time in the bathrooms and days it was probably different than today people sit they answer their emails they write letters chat yeah people nobody comes out anymore that's where their offices nobody has offices anymore Yeah. Everything you do over there. Yeah. Amald was a place you had privacy. You thought a little bit today. There's no such a thing. He's answering most of his emails, right? People would know most of the emails you're getting. You know, I love you. You're amazing. You're incredible. It's not coming from such a fancy place. He's not sitting in the lobby of a hotel. >> All the meetings, [snorts] >> huh? The meetings, everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One, somebody once said, one of the great things of Zoom was Yeah. that he could come to the meeting like Adam and Kava before they ate sadas. You just has to have a shirt on top and that was it. Nothing else from the shirt and below it could be that was the of anyway. So the says the says everything in life is oneness. He says where's the when you go to the basis where's the you're not allowed to learn you're not allowed to dy you're not supposed to think these things it's a very we all know what it is. So the bash says where is there a bigger in life than separating the from the than separating that belongs in you than that which doesn't belong that that is where is there deeper vas yeah that's a classic example that is not that is but it's all [laughter] that you can't say we no that v is only in a yesh in a yesh I have to go. That's why I have to go to the bathroom. There's parts that belong to me. There's parts that don't belong to me. But what's the whole here? You're separating. That's the fact you could say this doesn't really belong to me. It's in me. It's inside of me. I'm dealing with it. It's hard for me. There's a lot of betrayal. There's a lot of pain. Okay. Yeah. But the question is, am I going to live with that space? You think about in relationships. Sometimes rel people's entire relationships are based Yeah. Sometimes people are married to their wives. They look at their wives as their mothers or they look at their husbands as their fathers. They need their husbands to save them from a father that they didn't have or make become a father. They need their wives to become the mother they never had. So all his feelings towards his mother, he's now projecting on his wife. So if he has betrayal from his mother in a very deep unconscious way. These are very common things. So he puts it all on his wife. So whatever she does can't be good because it's triggering his own sense of betrayal from age two and three that he never dealt with. What does what does what does look like in that moment to say there's no yes there's no betrayal there is a betrayal that's what yes is if I would be there would be no betrayal [laughter] but over here there is betrayal I feel separate but the one thing this is what the is saying is I could say I'm going out to the basis say this is and this is this belongs to me this I'm going to own in other words this I'm going to go with for the rest of my life and this is something I'm going to work with because ultimately I want to get let go of it. It's in me. I have to go to the bathroom. I'm not denying that it's not in me. That's bypassing. That's the don't make even in those fragmented places you could bring in light. You could bring in but it's a different it's not different than that is but it's the version of and the whole revolves around this and that's why Hashem speaks from the fire. What's the speaking from the fires being on the fire is that what's being in this gal at mat is essentially a fire that has the power to burn out and to consume everything that's alien to your being warmly embraced by divine infinity. Anything that doesn't belong to this ash you could is is going out. That's what it is because ash is the ultimate uh cleanser and divider. It extricates. It extricates things. When you want to remove dross from silver or gold or metal, what do you do? >> You can't put it in a cold mikvah. You put it in hot fire. The silver smith, the goldsmith mitzvah of you put it into a crucible. It's called you put into a crucible. And what does that do? The fire is not here to destroy the gold. It's here to refine the gold. It removes the dross. Dross is the the the impurities. Exactly. the sediments, the the impurities, the dross, d o ss, I think it's spelled. And now the silver is refined. He's not trying to destroy your gold. Fake. He wants you to have 24 carats instead of uh he wants you to have the best gold in the world. He wants you to have clean gold. Clean. Pure pure gold. Zar. Oh, but the problem is it's filled with dross. It's filled with dirt. So that's the fire. So for the draws, the dross doesn't want to leave. This is me. But for the gold, it's the best thing that ever happened. >> Yeah. But the real pain is because I'm not ready to surrender. I'm still holding on to that part. Yeah. Imagine there's something fake connected to me and I think it's me and now you're trying to take it away. I scream amputation. Of course, I'm screaming amputation. Ghanim is not going to take away anything of you. Remember this ganam will never take away anything of you. The only thing it takes away is the parts that I decided became me and it's so hard for me to let go and not necessarily my fault. And that's why gem is also very kind based on where the person is right. We speak about so we hear the word gem. Ganim is very kind. It's a very tailor made therapy. If something has attached to me completely not by my fault, I inherited it. epigenetics things happen to me. Gahanam also has to remove that but it's a different type of removal. It's not you're you're to blame. No, I just need to take out the splinter. I need to take out the infection. This is not you. It's painful because in my mind this became me. But it's never taking away anything that's really you. Anything ever. That's the V of this of in this mime. It never takes away anything that really is you ever. You don't have to worry about that. It's taking away all the parts. What does he say? The part of me that's not me. I went into fiction. I went into delusion. I went into deep deep wounding. That's what it's taking away. But if I became the wound, yeah, that's very very uh if I have a huge scar on my nose, I have a huge deformity and I think that is who I am essentially and you now want to help me. Of course, you're the enemy. Ganim is not the enemy. >> Yeah. Yeah. We all have to heal. Even our perception of gehenn we have to heal. People are afraid that when you speak about this, people are not going to be afraid of gehenn. It's the opposite. What is trying to teach us is not not to be afraid of gehennam. It's not the gehenn you're afraid of. It's you want to be afraid. Huh? >> Yeah. >> Exactly. There's a vert from the majish mag. It's a beautiful vert. He says this is what he says that uh uh I think so the gar says it's a small thing what does he ask of you only to fear God your god it's not such an easy thing so the mag says like this what it means is what hashem is asking of you is to fear sin sin like Hashem fears sin. And he explains like this. This is his mshel. He says a kid was running and he got a terrible splinter. Terrible. And it really went deep inside and they finally got it out to save him from infections. The next time, oh, as the as the doctor was taking it out, the kid was screaming from pain. Screaming. Says, "Tati, why are you letting him do this to me?" But the Tati knows that the worst thing is not to cause this pain because then the infection could spread to his body and endanger his life. So the best thing he can do is help the doctor take out the splinter. Next time the kid is running around in the street again and he's afraid he's going to get a splinter again. He's hanging out in the same area. So he wants to tell him, "My zun, my my my son, my malik, please don't get a splinter into your body because that can create an infection." But when he says that to the boy, he says, "I don't care. He doesn't know about infections. He doesn't know about his life being in danger." So what does he say? He says if you run over there the doctor is going to do what he did last time and you're going to scream. Oh, now he listens. You understand? He was he wasn't tyuda. [clears throat] Of course we don't want the doctor to take out this but that's not the verd. The doctor was actually helping this kid. But the kid is not typhus the value of not having an infection because he doesn't know. So all I could tell him is I don't want your skin to hurt. I don't want you to feel the prick. So the mag says that's how life is. You learn and you think ganim THAT'S THE ISSUE. THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE. I'm worried about much more than the gehenn. [laughter] I'm worried about your your gehennam. You being in gehenn in this time you're being in gennham. The lie is much worse than the consequences of the lie. Being caught is not the issue. Doing it is the issue. a person is having an affair on an affair in his marriage. Being caught is not the problem. That's that's the benefit. That's when you'll do chuva. It's the thing itself that's that that that that's the pain that you're so disassociated. You're so disconnected. >> Is afraid. He's not afraid of taking out the splinter. He's afraid of the splinter. He doesn't want you to be infected. That's that's the Yeah. So that's the that's the that's the that's the nuda. Huh? >> You could breathe a whole week. >> When you're a sensitive person, right? If you're sensitive people sensitive to food, a diabetic or anybody. If I'm eating toxic, poisonous food and I don't see the difference. It's on the table. They gave it for the kiddish. I'm eating it. I'm eating it. I'm eating it. So you tell the guy you're going to end up in the hospital, but that's not really the issue. Ending up in the hospital is yeah, to clean out the system. The issue is the taking in the food. I'm I'm I'm contaminating myself, but I don't see that. I'm not sensitive to that. [snorts] So Ghanim is simply mirroring to me what happened at Citad. It's showing an X-ray of the nicotine that has become clogged up in my lungs over 50 years. It's an X-ray. Here it is. Really get it. Get rid of it. So that's what it is. And that's why it's really it's a dimension of life. It's a dimension of reality. So because when he's in that paradigm, when he's in that awareness of being connected to so that's And when we confront the yesesh that's separate, it's not something to run away from and avoid and start lamenting that I'm not in and run away from the world. No, this is a different version of it's a tool to be to be because it's empty. It's the yesesh seems an empty place. It's I'm not here. Yesh is is is me. I'm devoid. This is a place that's devoid of me. Here you could be the country not to be how through the and that's the whole of with either through mitzvah or through with Okay, we're going to stop here. Everybody have an amazing day and a beautiful week. the fusion. Okay. Will resume next week because I'm not here this week. I told you a lot of y What comes out comes out, you know.