Toldot: The Unbearable Burden of Being Esav | Rabbi Ari Kahn | November 20th 2025

I I had a thought about warning you about what I'm going to do this week, but I'm I'm not sure about all the warnings. What I'm going to try to do is talk about Asov. So, first of all, Asov is our uh hero for today and I' I've spoken about ASOV before and a couple of the random things along the way have come out, but I'm going to try to do this in a little bit more of a I use the word sophisticated. You know, we all have our dreams, but sophisticated. And what I'm going to try to do is also read the midrashim but ultimately to try to show where the madrashim got what they said going back to themselves because again there's always these various stages and and the other warning is is that asov and I say this every year I think that as of is there's the biblical asov in in kish and then there's the biblical as of you know turning into eddom and which is the late what happens later on in history and then of course you have the metamorphosis into Rome Rome and you have the further metamorphosis into Christianity when you look at certain Jewish sources. So you're never really sure who they're talking about and sometimes you know it's suggested that the descriptions that even that Khazal have of the biblical asov is inspired by that generation of destroying the temple and they and they're kind of reading one into the other. So again, we've said that and I want to push that all the aside and I only want to deal with the biblical asaf in this week's para and and so on. So I'm saying that that's that's the first thing. Second, does any is anybody here familiar with the Goldwater rule? >> What >> the Goldwater rule? Some of you should be old enough to remember it even. So when Barry Goldwater ran for president, there were a whole bunch of people psychiatrists who gave their opinion of his emotional ability or mental ability to be president based upon >> you're sorry I'm not going to answer questions >> based upon based upon his public persona. >> So of course the question is based on somebody's public persona, how much can you talk about who they really are? And the American Psychiatric Association actually passed a rule that psychiatrists are not permitted to give a diagnosis of a public persona who they've never met in person and they've actually put through whatever battery of tests they put. By the way, does that stop any again just Trump for example? Did that does that stop anybody from uh going and giving? So again, if you're just you know an amateur so of course you can do it. So I, you know, I kind of wonder is there some kind of a Goldwater rule when it comes to analyzing biblical characters. So I I think that that may be and again not to the way that one would normally articulate it, but that may be the background of what takes place in Israel today between those people even among religious Zionism, those people who will look at the Tanakh and what they call sometimes big goim where you look at them as a regular person. a regular person you could put on the couch. A regular person you can analyze. You can talk about how their mother mistreated them. By the way, I'm getting way ahead of myself now. Or you can say, "No, you these people, all the biblical characters are people completely outside of our realm of understanding, and we fundamentally have no right to go and to try to humanize them in a way where we treat them as if they're regular people." So, as I said, it's not a question of them actually channeling the Goldwater rule, yes or no, but it is nonetheless interesting that there is this parallel approach when it comes to the characters. So, if we were to use Asov and try to use him through modern and I can actually go in two directions now modern philosophy going on for the last 200 years or so, 150 years or so, or on the other hand through modern psych psychiatry and psychology. So we can have a field day with uh with ASV. And of course the the starting point is going to go to this fundamental issue and that is to to what extent the treatment that it has of his mother is one which is appropriate and and and impacts him. So let's as I said let's start from the beginning enough introductions. Let's read what it says. Source number one. Abraham. So the first thing that we're told is when it comes to is the son of Abraham. He is like Abraham. And maybe even right there there's a reason to pause and to contemplate. Part of the challenge of uh of Yitzk's life is that Yitzk to a very great extent only does things that his father did. He is not the pioneer. He's not the revolutionary. He's not the person who walks in, you know, onto the stage and then just does all of these radically different things from everyone different. Yetsuk's challenge is to do what his father did. So therefore, again, if we want to get into our psychological uh nuances and issues, Abraham, you can talk about rebelling against his father, but you can on the other hand, his challenge is following his father. So there's a lot less excitement when it comes to Yeitzkl. But then again, then again, he's the first one who's FFB as it were, and he's the first one now who has those particular challenges of keeping the tradition and passing it on to the next generation. He's 40 years old when he gets married. And one point of information that we don't know, we'll never know. There is nothing in the text about it. And that is what was the age of Rifka when he met her, when he married her, when she had children, and when she died. None of that information is in the Torah. If you look at various midrashim, you can find answers to all of those questions. None of them are based upon any kind of clear statement in the text itself. There's inferences, and some of them are better, some of them are worse. I'm sorry for putting it that way, but I'll say it again. We have no idea how old she was when she got married. And again, those those midrashim that try to paint Rifka as three years old when she met or when she got married. What they're really doing is they're as much as Yitzk follows his father, she follows the same path of Abraham. Because just as Aram finds God at the age of three and leaves his father's house and so on and so forth, she takes that same path. She does the same thing. So making her three years old actually makes her following that whole Abraham model. I believe there's other reasons as well, but as I said, there's a limit to how much I'm going to engage with that as we continue. It tells us that there is going to be eventually we're going to figure this out when we move down. There's 20 years of infertility and I know that not based on her age. I know this based upon his age. He's 40 years old when they get married. And then the next puss says soak again ben Abraham raised in this nice home prays and and again if we went looked at last week's para we find Yitzklik praying in the field. Yets prays. Yitzk is a praying person. He prays. So means that based upon nature she should be unable to have children and God listens to him. So not only is he a praying person and by the way remember also last week he goes out and prays in the field and then immediately she shows up. So just again parallel to the Evid goes and he says his prayer and then he sees her. So then then we find that Yitzel goes out to the field and prays and then immediately he sees her. So it seems to be that same dynamic taking place whereby whereby immediately we have response. So over here again God responds to him and we're told she gets pregnant and here we'll start with the beginning of already going to ask you now and we'll see if you can answer this properly what's going on. But it says now a lot of us immediately will because we don't know what it means will immediately identify with the rashi which quotes the midash that that she finds again as Rashi's going to tell us the two of them are running. They're running back and forth. By the way, there's not a lot of room there to be running back and forth. They're they're running back and forth. One is trying to get out over here. Everyone's trying to get out over there and um but let's read the words first. But you know there's some kind of inner turmoil which is taking place and she says and came by the way that's a very strong statement. It's not the only time that Rifka is going to get overly dramatic. She'll do this moving on in the text as well. But she says no, which means it's not just there there's something happening and and again I want you to be able to tell me what it is that's happening. But she also becomes, you know, part of this prayer community and she goes to seek out God and she's looking for religious significance of what's taking place. So again, you want to read the rash, you want to read the midrash, the e trying to get out or she feels something in inner tormal which is taking place and maybe I'll add one I'll add one or two more things. One is we have no idea that she knows right we have no idea that she knows or that she could know is that she's carrying twins. So therefore, if she thinks she's only carrying one and again go back to the midrash, but trying to get out by the shul as it were midash of shame on the one hand or trying to get out by the beta vod is that she feels again some kind of inner turmoil not knowing that there's more than one fetus. But on the other hand, I I can say that there's something else simpler which is taking place and what's that? And that is that that pregnancy even though most men don't understand that they think as it's well known they think it's akin as having a head cold but most but but pregnancy could be something which is difficult. It could be something which is even painful. It could be something which is maybe not as easy as one would think that it is. But again let's pause here for a second. Especially if you don't have >> let's especially but that doesn't bo again that bothers me much less that really it bothers me much less but pregnancy because you that's why I mean that's exactly the point that's why you're going to get confused. >> Yeah. >> No, no, no. You didn't hear what I said. That's why you were going to get confused >> because you're focusing on the twins. You're not focusing on the problem. >> No. What I'm saying >> I know I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Sorry to give you a hard time. I know what you're saying. And I'm saying that that's the reason that you're having a hard time figuring out what's really going on. Just know this place is full of anti-semmites. I'm just so No, that that that's exactly what I want to point out. I said it and you just accepted it. Child birth is painful. Why? So therefore, instead of going back to kava, you're telling me about carrying twins, >> right? But but is the is really the reason over here. Now what's interesting if you look in source number two and you look at the second there sorry the third of and now I'll ask you from that moment when God says this to going throughout the where's the first time that you find a woman who is in some kind of a crisis when she's pregnant and the answer is Rifka. this is the first time that we're finding it. So therefore, when I said that you're missing the point and that you're focusing on the twins and and therefore they didn't do it, they didn't do the ultrasound or the results didn't come in clear or the technician didn't have enough experience or so on and so forth. That's not the issue. I I understand that having twins further complicates it, but that's not the fundamental issue. One of the words in this verse is what's is the pregnancy. Pregnancies are going to be one which will be full of turmoil. And so I'll ask you again where do you find this coming to fruition to in the first time in the Kish? And the answer is Rifka's pregnancy. So that Rifka now takes her pregnancy and she's reading it within a religious terms. You'd have to now ask yourself, well, how well-versed is Rifka on her Bible stories or on her tradition or on understanding because she is saying this within theological terms? She's turning to God and she is questioning as far as okay, what is happening or so really kind of in a sense what do I do now? Now, those of you who are not convinced that I'm right, I I I know I shouldn't even consider this as a possibility, but uh those of you who are not convinced that I'm right. So, let me add a couple of factors to this to properly frame what is what's taking place. The first answer, the first thing is to go back to the response that she gets. And again, I'll repeat myself from previous years. don't understand why we don't read this at face value. She seeks God. Doesn't always mean movement. Just like we saw in last week's para when Aram comes to mourn his wife. It doesn't necessarily mean that there geographical movement. She is moved to turn to God. But why you need a why do you need to come through via somebody else? Why did you have to speak to? It doesn't say that. She seeks God. God says to her, so full stop. What was said? What wasn't said? Why is this important? And I really again want to unpack this, but unpack this through a perspective that I've already given you. And I and I hope you realize that I'm not moving at this point to midrashim. I'm I'm just reading what the all of this says. One is everything she knows. This is the thing you have to keep in mind. Everything she knows is what her husband doesn't know. Why? But yem God said to her that means she knows he doesn't know. Now you can say why is there more communication? Why doesn't she tell apparently she knows that he's a godly man? Apparently she knows that he is a prophet. Apparently, she knows that if God is something that he wants Yitzk to know, he will say it to her. And here really is this outlying prophecy which comes to her as opposed to going to him. And therefore, she holds on to it. But just again, keep in mind what she knows, he doesn't know. And therefore, you can understand's point of view from her point of view. She knows there's two nations. So therefore, what does he think? He thinks that there's one nation that they're going to separate in two different directions. He thinks that they're going to work together. So therefore, if you want to understand everything going on this para, just take what God says to Rifka. Think the opposite of every word. And now you know what Yitzklk is thinking. Yit >> machine. >> I'm going to You want me now to tell you the psychological state of women? >> Don't does the gold water rule work. Again, to answer your question, she I think I just said it. She She apparently thinks that if God said this prophecy to her and not to him, then it was for her. And if I wanted to tell him there were other ways of doing that, >> is there any other communication between him and those two except when he when she says she doesn't know, you know, that he's going to marry the wrong person. Don't don't don't get excited about um about about full about things the Torah doesn't tell you. Did did Yitzkl and Abraham have any other conversation than that one conversation on the way to the Aada or you say oh and they never spoke again because of the post trauma that Yitzk went through? I mean there's no limit of silly things that people can say and write and publish. But again, I've heard, but no, they never spoke again afterwards because of, you know, the post trauma and I pointed out and they never spoke before either. So, how do you account for that? >> And and and it goes and it goes back to and it goes back to the same point is that the Torah does not tell us every one of the conversations that they have. There is this very tender moment where Avi uh Melik is kind of peeking through the window watching them. So, there seems to be a great deal of tenderness. We're told that he loves her. So, I'm saying the fact that we don't have more conversations. Okay. Not every conversation, you know, I've written a whole bunch of books. Very few conversations with my wife are in any of those books other than the intro other than the introduction to my first book. I did I did put a conversation there. Good. So now again, I just gave you some information. What was it? If you want to understand Yitzklook, read what Rifka knows and just assume the opposite because that's what's he thinking as opposed to what she's thinking. Now again, what she understands is really quite extreme because you would think the two brothers would have at least some kind of relationship. Some I mean, they would be part of the same clan, right? Clan is tribe, tribal affiliations. I mean, this is the most important thing, by the way, from antiquity going to today. It's probably the most important sociological element tribalism and we can't get past tribalism and we just question is how you define your particular tribe. So to be told they won't be part of the same tribe. Again I just want to go back to to you know where they live when they live that that itself is really is really interesting. But so she knows they're not going to work together. She also knows another thing Vavia votes that ultimately the younger one will be successful. Now what what does she not know? because it doesn't speak here in terms of good or bad. It doesn't speak in terms of right or wrong with sadic or Russia. Which means again I don't want to overplay the hand that she's dealt. But how can I overplay it? What can I do to overplay it? And that is again before I get to any midrashim and I keep telling you I'm going to come to midrashim. I even made up a midrash for this week's uh to try to understand something and maybe may maybe I'll share it with you but there's another element. So in order to understand the other element let's just continue and when she gives birth so in fact you know as prophetically she was told there are twins and the first one comes out and he's all covered with red. Does that mean red hair? Does that mean blood? Does that mean both? So over here admoni edom. So we have this this redness connected to him and he's called as which also implies a a degree of maturity. Au he's done he's completed and a person reaches their emotional development by the age of birth then there's going to be a quite constricted emotional uh existence. You may sorry continue also we note the lack of symmetry everyone calls him as or at least both parents but it's and that's in the singular. So whenever we have a lack of symmetry and there's a great deal of lack of symmetry in this para lack of symmetry is what we need to note and therefore and that's where we closed off and we understand now the 20 years of infertility which had taken place until the children are born but I want to go back to avoid become Israel because it's Jacob's entire existence based upon holding on to the echv of his brother. But I want to go back to what I said before and what was that? In order to understand this episode, which episode the pregnancy and subsequent birth of Yakov and Asov, you first need to understand that the pregnancy is one which is painful. Which took us right back to Kava post sin having ingested from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And what happens when you ingest good and evil? You now are carrying good and evil. So therefore, if I then had to divide between the righteous and the wicked, I then go back and I get that much more out of the kava narrative than I get it out of this narrative because this narrative has told me they're in two different directions. and the younger will be successful which itself by the way is the entire story of BCI of brothers not getting along and the younger one inevitably being successful but this actually does something else for me I'm going to say it again when I read it together with brach now you'll accuse me of overreading so I want to go back to source number two again which is perkiml and now go back to our serpent our our core of evil it's [snorts] right am I sorry the wrong place. Story number two. So now the serpent gets cursed. So now notice what suddenly appeared to us in the exact same place and that is the makes its makes its entry over here as part of the tension between the world of good and the world of evil between the evil of the nash which causes all the difficulties that we have and between the mankind who is going to emerge as well. So now I'm going to say it again. When YaKob is born and he's going to be called Yakov because he's holding on to the Achv that should remind you of something. And then you start saying, "Hold it a second. How do I read together these two sections? Because there's something else which is taking place." And this is what's then going to generate those thoughts to for us to understand. Hold it a second. Does does Asov is he somehow connected to the Nahash? By the way, I told you a number of years ago this crazy crazy misinterpretation of the Targum Unkus because it couldn't understand a word that he used and there were those who explained that Asov had a big tattoo of an Aash on his thigh. So don't don't ask me if you heard the sheer you heard the year. if you didn't. But but again, what that was telling you is that Asov absolutely not just Asov is a biker and so on. And then he's got, you know, the tattoos. He's got a tattoo of the nash. He identifies with the nahash and therefore the forces of of evil in the world. The nakash is sometimes connected to the sosial asav. And again, if you know this, then you know it. If you don't, then you don't. But my connecting as of what the nakash and therefore yakov with this other and therefore the good and the bad because that's part of the I'm gonna say it again part of the problem of ingesting from a tree of knowledge of tovara is now the tovara. So now you go back and look what happens to look what happens to rifka who becomes the the one who's carrying good you know tovah and she's carrying this good son and this bad son. So again, all that I did just now is again, you want to accuse me of making up my own midrash, you can. If you want to start searching through all kinds of capitalistic sources, all that I'll say is I didn't overly search, but someone has to say what I said. It's not possible that someone didn't because it's just all of this is just too obvious. But again, the simpler thing that I did is I took her I took her difficult pregnancy and I write it back to where difficult pregnancies came from. I look at the word or the letters and I go back and I find that that's the source of I look at the tovara and I see the tovra and all that we're doing over here some crosspollinization between these two sections and then what emerges over here is I think a deeper understanding of our starting point. Now, what's disturbing with all of this? Let let's let's go backwards to something which is troubling. Is Asov therefore destined to be evil before that he's born? Or again, we're all tainted from this eating of the knowledge of the tree of good and evil. And all of us have to deal with this struggle that takes place within us between good and evil. Because again, I just now read it two ways. Especially if I read it and say, "Well, no, this one is going to work out or this one isn't." Is is this is God telling us what's going to take place in the future or is God determining what's going to take place? And I don't want to get into problems of uh of predetermination because we do know that there's all kinds of biblical characters. You can just choose which one you want. I mean, it sounds very much that Moshe was chosen for his leadership position before he's born. It sounds that way. And once you go to Moshe, you can go to the ha there and you can find your mahu as well. And and there are various people that sound but does as have free will. Of course, he has free will. But I just want to take it one more step and then I'll I'll take your comment and now how much of this now is going to be self-fulfilling prophecy because now I can start saying well of course Asov was Asov because I'm going to say it and then I'm going to retract but let me say it because his mother knowing that he's going to end up being evil and end up being a loser. So therefore he was deprived of his maternal love and therefore because his mother didn't love him. So therefore you have this self-fulfilling prophecy taken. And by the way, now I can open up all the psychology books today and I can put Asov on the couch again go back to our Goldwater rule. Put Asov on the couch and say, "Well, of course, you know, when when Rifka was nursing Yakov, then you know, it was lovingly and she took care of him and she knew that this is going to be the successful child." Maybe she didn't even bother nursing Asov. Maybe Asov was uh No, no. So again, but but but why do I want to retract this just a little bit rather than myself fulfilling prophecy is because the same way that we don't know about various conversations between Rifka and between Yitzk, you know nothing about the relationship between Asov and Rifka. We know nothing about it. So it's very easy again to say, "Oh, look at all of this. Look what happened." And I I'll do some of it with you. I'm happy to do it and to show you how as but again how much of this is Asov's own choices and Asov's own perhaps superficiality and his own rebellion and how much do you want to blame on his mother or his father or his parents or whatever or his teachers whatever listen it's great to have someone to blame it really is and you know after 120 you go to heaven and God will say to you know what happened to you blame me so you would have given me a better rabbi then maybe I would have been better And look at look what you gave me. This is all of your fault. So okay. So fine. Take responsibility. Yeah. >> Right. >> That's what it applies. >> I'll tell you a secret. It's by all of us. Then say but that's exactly the point. And how much do we deal with it? >> Secondly, why don't we compare it with what about in heaven? >> Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Do you know there's a Zohar that says they had two different fathers? >> What? >> Say it again. >> There's a Zohar that says that they had two different fathers. I wrote about this in two of my books. >> Kane and >> Yeah. Yeah. That that that He is the that He is the son He is the son of Adam. And it says that that Cayenne is the son of the serpent. But don't take these things overly uh literal. Again, unless you want to buy my books, then you could take them overly literal. And uh and it it's talking about that where does this evil come from. So it's exactly what I just now read evil comes from the nash cuz that is what get the only thing about the nash is if you really you want to understand the nash get one minute on the nash the nash is before we eat from the tree of knowledge good and evil. So then the sahara is externalized. What happens when you eat from it? Then the sahara becomes internalized. So what's the difference having an external sahara between having an internal sahara? So I'll just tell you right now an internal is worse because an external at least you know that's the eight sahara when it's internal then you can justify and convince yourself that the bad thing that you did is actually good and that's why religious people are so dangerous. There's nothing more dangerous than a religious person doing a mitzvah because they're convinced that they're doing everything which is good and there but they may not be right as the my favorite of your salant be careful when you put on your talis not to smack somebody else with the strings. which is both practical advice, practical advice, but it's also it it you know it's practical advice, but it's also should be seen metaphorically. When you're wrapped up in doing a mitzvah, don't be smacking somebody else because you're wrapped up in doing a mitzvah, become oblivious of anything else. And then you can step on all kinds of other people because you're doing a mitzvah. Now, you're on a mission from God to borrow from the Blues Brothers. You're somebody who's doing something which is so positive and so good. So I'm saying religious people doing good things are dangerous. Why? So at least no I'm doing something good. Again sedic some commentaries say do sedic but do it in a sedic way. Don't do oh I'm doing sedic. So now the ends justify the means that I can do it any way that I want. So I'm going to I'm going to say it again that sometimes the yates sahara when it's internalized is more dangerous when the sahara is external because when it's internal you don't necessarily realize it's the sahara. When it's external, you say that is a snake. That snake wants to kill me. That snake is dangerous. Of course, when you get a tattoo of the snake down your whole thigh, then you become as used to say that when doing something when someone says he's doing so make sure is >> Yeah. Exactly. That's ex That's exactly the point. Okay. Are we good? Do we at least have some focus right now? Um, notice by the way that the word ech is used a number of times in Torah and it's always used as you know because of right also part of is interesting to work into all of this but just note for example in source number three where is this this is immediately after the which again goes to there will be many of you which goes back to pregnancy it goes back to having children and it says right you'll be blessed Why? Because you listened. And what I skipped along though I know be a lot of you and is also which also all of the sounds actually pretty similar to the prophecy that Rifka is about to get. I mean just just pay attention because a lot of the elements are there in source number four. It's when Yitzik is told don't go to Egypt, stay in this land. Gurbaot again this is very land ccentric and then the blessing of Abraham is going to come to you which we all know will eventually begin over to Jacob which is why Jacob is a part of this again same thing many children you're going to get all of these lands over here goes back to land why [clears throat] and it goes back to this so again just in case any of us think well is this negative thing Akov, Achov is is interesting because Akov is part of this condition, but I'll say it again. Yakov is eventually going to get this other name in verse number five. He's going to be told that we're not only going to always be defined based upon our relationship with Asov and based upon holding As's heel. At some point, why it becomes dealing with and and go back and just think about Rifka for a moment. She goes to search out God. And there is this element in Israel as part of that as well in source 35. Again, his name gets changed this time by God as opposed. And what happens right afterwards again? you'll become numerous and I'm going to give you the landing which is really fascinating because those various which were used which talk about getting the landing being numerous are now exactly Jacob's name become Israel and then now the brah moves over from the echv over to the Israel. So again just to notice that whole element so if we go back to the first source again I want to go a little bit further. Jacob is born. Asov is born. Jacob, the name is only given. We later on will get another name. And there's lots of comments on this, including Rashi, that when they're young, they're almost indistinguishable as much as we imagine them being the same. >> This explain why why the plural anybody grew. >> I kind of explained it, but everyone knew Asov was Asov, but not Rifka never calls him Yakov. Just for example, Yitska calls him. Rifka doesn't necessarily call him. And by the way, you read later on in the para, pay attention to this. She calls him my son. And so she doesn't call him Yakov because Yakov is in relationship to Asov and she knows he's going to be successful over Asov. So therefore, he's called Yakov by some, but not necessarily by her. And his real name, Israel, emerges later on. So again in Z they grow up but they're together. Now some midrashim connect this to their behavior. There's even some that talk about they're more similar than we imagine sometimes. You know we always imagine that they're so very different. But let's continue. They grow up and then it's also interesting the way it frames it. He's a man who knows about hunting and a man of the field. Of course, his father's a man of the field. So there but but his father's a man in the field by planting in the field. He's the man of the field by hunting in the field which is not exactly the same. One is productive and one maybe is destructive. The Jacob is and Jacob on the other hand is either a man of the tents or perhaps a shepherd. You can look at the various showing them how they explain that. Again a verse which is full of lack of symmetry loves because now whatever means the simple way of saying this what we should have said is because he gives him food which again seems quite superficial but then it continues without any kind of reason for it straightforward she loves him. So again, a lack of symmetry, double lack of symmetry. Well, first of all, one parent loves one, the other loves the other, but one parents loves for a reason, and the other loves without a reason. The unconditional love, of course, is the normal love. The conditional love that Asov receives is the strange thing. What we don't necessarily know about is a relationship between Rifka and Asov, or for that matter between >> Yak between Yitzk and Yakov. Although we'll learn about a lot of that later on in the parha which we're not going to get to. But yakov nazid yakov plants sorry but yakovid yakov prepares some food nazid should be some kind of beans. Some of you want to be more optimistic you can say chillant. [clears throat] And of course, you notice the emphasis on the word. What it doesn't say is what we remember it saying, and that is that he's hungry. Doesn't say he's hungry. It says he's tired. Which is a term used Rashi will point out, borrowed from animals, kind of pour into my mouth, which means he's so exhausted he can't even lift his arms. I mean, that's quite exhausted. pour into my mouth. It's also really a primitive way of speaking. There's some regression over here. He's describing the food not by what it is, by what it looks like, by almost the physical stimuli. And the fact that it's red goes back to his own redness and probably feeling some kind of an association with it. Give me some of the red stuff is not again I have not been in any French Michelin rated restaurants but I do not believe that's how you order right I believe that you order in a somewhat more sophisticated manner and the way that he's ordering here is give me some red of the red stuff over there is goes back to this exhaustion so pour this meaning the is the important thing over here almo edom. >> That's exactly my point. That's correct. That's good. And that's why he's called edom. But [clears throat] again, there seems to be that's I use the word regression and you can counter and say, well, how do you know there was ever any progression? But it seems to be that he's speaking in a way. But there's something else that you need to pay attention to before we read any further. And that is I'm gonna ask you a question and you're gonna have a harder time with the answer than you think. So is Asa a good hunter? Was he a successful hunter? So let's just think about this snapshot because it's one of the only ones we have. So he comes in from the field. So presumably comes in. How do I know he came in from the field? >> He comes from the right. It it says but so he's an ish what does it say is so he knows about hunting so is he the kind of guy he knows all about hunting but is he a good hunter >> I'm going to say so I'm going to say it again he knows all about hunting is he and he came home empty-handed and how do we know he came home empty-handed because because by the way think about the terrible situation over here our our ace of our ace of who is a man who's involved of death. Again, when you plant, you're involved with life. When you kill, you're involved with death. Ace of our wannabe hunter, comes home from the field without any hunt. And not only does he come home without any hunt, think about even the worst part of this. He ends up getting for dinner a vegetarian stew. [laughter] I I don't I don't know what could possibly I don't know what can possibly be worse than this. It was It was [laughter] >> I don't know what could be worse than this. >> Maybe he was so tired cuz it said Oh, he ate. >> It says he didn't have time to cheer for himself. >> Yeah, but it doesn't say he brought anything. And you know what? I have a feeling Asov would have eaten Durai, which uh if you don't know what that is, it's a technical term used in the Talmud. Um- which by the >> almost >> almost draw which by the way the reputation that benders has not based on the garra the reputation is that he's a thief and therefore he'd steal food and then he would cook it really quickly it does not say that in the garra that's rather the read that some rishonim have on it but it doesn't say that that that rather murai is and it may be different to the boami but mahersai is considered to be the minimal amount so you take it I mean how long take to take to take some you throw it on again. I get the feeling from ASV that he would have eaten Abram and Aai because the animals dead. So you rip off the thing, you throw it on the grill, you turn it over or even bring it to Yakov and say, "Yaob, we got some steaks for dinner." Again, this should not be all but instead I'm exhausted. Give me the vegetarian stew. You You don't If you're not catching this point, you're not catching the full pathos of this uh of this situation. And I'm going to say it again stronger for the ostensibly the meatloving hunting asov to be reduced to rely on his brother right to rely on his brother to give him the food. So again you want to read into this as who's lacking the maternal love now is to turn to his brother for nurturing from his brother itself becomes a real interesting dynamic. He needs someone to take care of him. He needs someone to feed him. He needs someone to uh and I'll say it again and the tragedy over here of not even having meat for dinner. So this this is when we're reading this, we realize that there's something terribly wrong going on with Asaf. Now Khazal do tell us the background of the story and I suspect a lot of us know this Khazal. It it appears in a couple of places. Rashi actually in source number nine brings a lot of it. If you look at source nine, we'll start with uh we'll start with ket. He's been murdering all day. Now, if you're murdering all day, so why haven't you dragged home any game? Well, doesn't mean killing. Again, unless you are a vegetarian, you wouldn't use the word murder by hunting. You would use murder killing people. It says that Isa was involved in killing people, not necessarily in hunting. Now, that that itself is quite is quite frightening and it actually brings a verse to support this. Um over here, open your mouth and let me open your mouth and pour the food the way that a camel will eat. Why is a camel interesting? Why is a camel interesting? What about our We have some animals that have kosher animal. Yeah. Yeah. Good. >> So therefore, >> therefore on the outside externally appears that it's good, but on the inside it's not >> perfect. And what does that tell you about as >> right? So it's perfect. So it's perfect. that as of over here may have been fooling some people but he again feed me like an animal which actually should reveal a little bit more. It continues and it says adashimote. So what was this adashimote red lentils? >> It's redashim has to be lentils or can't be a kidney bean. It can't Okay, let Okay, fine. Red lentils. Red lentils don't stay red when you cook them. >> No, I've tried this many times. They don't stay red. >> No. >> So maybe they were also they weren't uh they weren't fully cooked at this point. I don't know what to say. Anyway, okay. So that just now gave us some more information. [snorts] Au died on that day of so he doesn't see as of go off the der right that that would that would be the term over here. So if you want a little bit more background and it says that he dies therefore and he's making these he's making this as food to give to the mourers. So let let's have a full stop. Everything we're about to say is really going to be the background in the garra in source number 11 in in Babatra and it's also going to be in some of the midrashim. But let let let's stop for a second and try to unpack some of this. What is the basis of what we just now read? So it says in source 11 brought coal. Aram was blessed with everything. The coal again is going to be connected to Yakov as opposed to as Cole. So he's blessed with Cole. So Cole is Yakov, not Asov. So it's actually did you follow that? Cole is Yakov. It's not Asov because again that's the argument or the discussion of Jacob and As when they meet. Asov says, "I have a lot of stuff. I don't need it." And Yakov says Cole I have everything. Over here it also says Bolik that a all connected to Cole. So over here it says A was less. So what does be mean? So the first opinion here that I skipped the dot dot dot that he had a daughter. What was her name? Bakol, right? Lauren Bakol, right? So he has uh it actually g it doesn't say Lauren. The gar says that he had a daughter and that that's how he was blessed with everything. Listen, only have a son. It's not good enough. I suspect my daughter would like this Torah. after four sons, right? And now it's we're skipping a little bit. There's another thing that says, "How was he blessed with everything that he never saw as of now?" Let's do math for a second. I apologize. It's easy math. How old was Ara when Yitzk was born? 100 years old. How old was Yeitzk when YaKob were born? 60 years old. How old was Abraham when the boys were born? 160. See how easy that was? How old was Avan when he died? 175. How old were the boys? 15 years old. That's the easiest math you'll ever heard. If you didn't follow that, give up. Okay. So, [snorts] what's the question, which is not really a question, which they're making believe is a question. How old was Yitzk when he died? He's 180 years old. So, why I'm saying none of this is really a good question. Yakob dies 147, right? Sorry. I mean like like like like stop. But no, why does Aram only live to 175 and not to 180? So it says that he actually should have lived to 180. But God took him away 5 years earlier so as not to see his son go off to his grandson go off to Derrick because it would have killed him. Then anyway he would have died at 175. So So when it says that God blessed him with everything, what did he ble bless him with? He blessed him with an early death. Like like like what is like interesting if you want interesting. So by the way as connected to death as killed Abraham. >> Wow. >> Five years >> as killed Abraham and he either killed him because he killed because of him. He dies early or Abraham would have lived and then he would have died when he saw Asa. As killed Abraham. So who did he kill that day? >> He killed Abraham. Okay. So that's not really what the Gomorrah said. But I hope you I said I hope you appreciate what we just now read. Says on that day died in order to not see as he goes. God took 5 years off him. Right. Why? Because lived 180 years and he only lived on. Right. So why is he making be means? Because he's making the meal that we give the aim after the the funeral. So I I just want to stop for a second. There there's something really interesting which is going to be circular. Now Aram dies as not to see Asov. Now what happens to Asov when Abraham dies and the answer is that Asov has a religious crisis. What's his religious crisis? The greatest man he ever knew, the greatest man who's ever lived died. So there's death. There's death everywhere. As is a man of death. And we'll see more about his man of being connected to death in a moment. If an afraino could could die basically of a situation of Sadi Valo, then why even bother? So the first time that Asab is going to have to contend and deal with the death of a righteous person, he is going to have a complete breakdown. Now why did the right person righteous person die? He died because of him. Why he died because of him is not to see him go off the derek. Why does he go off the derek? Because Araim died. Okay. So um yes. So, so, so, but but you can all say to me, what are you talking about? All of this goes back to the all of this goes back to the to but none of this is predetermined. All of this is going to have to do with how Asov is going to choose to respond to situations because how does Yakov respond to death? Jacob's response to death is it's >> Yakov's responds, listen, let professionals do this. Jacob's response to death is >> is doing a mitzvah is is doing is is doing which means how do I respond to a tragic situation? What good can I do for the world? There are people who are in pain. How do I help those people? How do I help how do I help my father who's mourning right now? So therefore, Yakov's response to death is it's actionoriented. It's empathetic. It's doing something. It's helpful. It's turning tragedy into and by the way again I got up from Shiva a couple of weeks ago and the various you know the amount of food coming in and the and the people and also the people who sent you know takeout from a restaurant. Okay, good. It's it's it's not things that you just, you know, assume people do until you see it and and are the beneficiary of it and you realize, you know, to what extent people have this feeling of and again and and forget about the meal. The people who just walk in with a cake and put it on the table very quietly without saying a word and and and they do things like that cuz people want to be a part of doing something which is good and doing something which is kind and being part of a solution and part of a problem. And there is something very tender in this. And the way that Khazal are reading Yakov's behavior over here is that Yakov is taking initiative and doing something which is positive. And Asov, our hunter could, by the way, just as easily had come in with a whole spread as well. Okay, he goes out and he could have brought in a whole thing, right? Other than Moroccans. People eat meat when they I don't know if you know Moroccans don't eat meat during Shiva. At least some don't. But we eat meat during Shiva. He could have brought him some meat. He could have brought him all kinds of things. He could have taken care of his father who >> know it appears that the >> Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't go so far that he doesn't know. Let's continue a little bit. >> Let's let's go. You're being too nice. Later on in the Gmorra, he had relations with a girl, a woman who was engaged. So she's like officially married to somebody else. So therefore, we're going for all the Noah right now or at least you know ten commandments. What right? and he killed somebody and at this moment he denies God's existence and he denies that there's such a thing as a resurrection and he uh rejected he rejected the as well the the the being the firstborn. So, and then it's going to continue and lay out each one of these things. And the gar is going to show you where it got each of this from. Which means if I'm going to now move over from psychology to philosophy, how you describe what the Gammorra is describing in terms of as this would be not nihilism. This would be saying that basically, okay, most of you would only know this if you read philosophy, which is really unfortunate, or if you watched too much Woody Allen when you were younger, which is a better chance of you having any kind of knowledge of this. But essentially, it's a feeling that uh that life is painful, there's no reason to live, that there's no purpose in life. It it's something that you find in philosophy as Christianity is being eclipsed in terms of the intellectual history of late Europe whereby there's no longer religion as a basis of life. Now what takes its place and what you have is a lot of people just feeling emptiness and then you have various philosophers who are going to deal with this emptiness and some like Kirkagard will see it as the energy which will then help create the leap of faith and the search for meaning. You go for emptiness, right, from tou vavohu to try to to fill it up and to find meaning within it. Or what you do is you say, well, life essentially has no meaning whatsoever. And if life has no meaning and there's no rules, there's no boundaries and it just becomes a search for uh well, let's start with let's start with the girl that that he's sleeping with right now. And and again, you want to blame his mother, he can blame his mother for for everything. But let let's start with Asov's sexual sins. So over here we have one the garra reads into it and says it happened that day when he's 15. Okay, good. Where do we actually find Asov's I'm going to call it a sexual rebellion. If you want to, you know, make it a little bit nicer, you can call you could put it nicer terms. Where do you actually find it? >> So okay, good. When Asab gets married, where do we find that Asub gets married? I'm sure I have this someplace over here. As [clears throat] >> you >> 12 is as good as any other number. Sorry. In 12. Yes. Source number 12. The second. So 25 years later, >> 25 years later. Good. So you're saying that in terms of the timeline, this doesn't work at all. But let me point something else out. Now you see I'm smiling already because you know I'm going to say something which is clever. [laughter] So these girls or these women, however you prefer what? Well, we go let's go back to tribalism. So what tribe are they from? >> Better says, why can't we read the words, >> right? Where does live? The Hittites. >> Where do they live? >> Where in Cananan? We met them. We know them. Where did we find them? >> They buried where the >> where the Ma is. So where do they live? >> They live by. So now explain to me how does Asov hook up with these women who live near. Now let me just continue the point. If you chart Yitzk's life from after he meets Rifka or when he meets Rifka all the way through till Asov gets married at 40. You never find in any place other than the absolute south of the country aza right look at the ple before what are we talking about we're talking about all we're talking about places which are all the way the south of the country not by the only time that you find him by there was one one time that you found him by and when was that by the funeral that's shot in the Torah by The says that that and Ishmael buried their father by Mara which goes back. So now I'm going back to when does that happen? Try again. When he's 15. When they're 15. So when they're 15 there's a funeral to go to. Whose funeral? >> Abraham. They go to the funeral. And what's as doing? >> This is the medush I'm making up. is that during during the grandfather's funeral, Asov who is in great pain now adopts a philosophy of nealism. Everything is meaningless. Aram is dead. Nothing counts. Why be good? And he starts breaking down all the kinds of of rules in the world. By the way, according to the midash, who does he kill? We can look inside if you want to see it. Who does who who does he kill? He kills he well he killed he kills Nimrod that day as well. So therefore you know the two sides good and evil by go back to go back to uh if you want earlier in terms of the atvar they both according to the medash both av and nimro die on the same day but I'm saying now there's going to be a new aim and what was nimrod of course nimrod is a hunter. So what do you have now? What was a man who makes his living in the tents? What is yakov? Yakov is a man of the tents. So over here you have Ara and Nimrod dying on the same day and you have Asov taking out of this. So why bother? Everybody dies. Well, he both died at his hands. That's really what I'm claiming. He actually kills both of them. He kills Nimrod that day. That's the rats that he does. But he also by extension kills Abraham. He he goes and he's involved again during the funeral. He is he's hooking up with these girls. Now maybe maybe this is the part I can't prove or you can't disprove is that maybe when it's time to get married and he's always superficial. His father got married at 40. So he gets married at 40. Who does he marry? Well, he marries two girls. Well, why does he marry two girls? Are you going to go back to the psychological problem? He's looking for he's growing up without a mother figure. He's looking for something to take the place of his life. He turns to Eeros because he does not have actual uh a strong emotional life. So that all all of the two bit psychology you can you can throw into all of this. But we're running out of time. So I just want to point out two more things. Okay. One thing that I want to point out is that there's another biblical character who also loses his mother at a relatively early age. I say also, okay, grows up without a mother. And who's that? Yoseph. >> Yoseph. >> Yoseph. Yoseph ends up being the complete opposite. And I and this I need to nuance a little bit more to make sure that we get that we get it properly. When we continue in the first source, YaKob's response right away is if you're not going to even be a successful hunter, right? Part of the problem is he's not taking responsibility. See, also when it says, a number of the commentators including Rashi say is that he would fool his father with the words that he would say. What took them that in that direction? Because he never brings food. He doesn't bring food. So then he's a talker. Oh, you know, he's like the fisherman who talks about the one that got away, but he but but he doesn't really succeed in doing this. So, so what kind of hunter? So, it says then that he goes and he asks his father and you all know the rashi, do do I take uh micer out of salt or out of te or out of straw? Now, think about it. His father, that was the other pro I skipped before the med understands that took me. So, that's the mitzvah of so he wants to connect to it, but he he doesn't do it. He he just talks. He doesn't do anything. And part of the problem with Asov is again, what did it say in in the Gmorrah and in the Midash? He doesn't believe in the world to come. He But what does he believe in? That's the problem. He believes in the here and now. And therefore, when YaKob turns to him and says, "Will you s get sell your future? The birthright. The f what does the birthright include? It includes the promise to Aram. It includes 400 years of slavery. It includes the land of Israel. As of is here and now. No, I'll trade all of that for a bowl of beans. And they're not even magic beans, right? I I'll tra I'll trade everything there for what I have in front of me right now. That's the problem as a lack of believing in the future. So what does the Gar do with this? He doesn't believe in he doesn't believe in he only believes in the snapshot of right now. And that's part of being tired. He's tired of who he is. He's tired of his life. This is depression. This is an inability of dealing with the life that he has. And and and what's the opposite of depression? Again, I'm gonna say I really want to be clear on this. What is the what per all of us could all know what's correct? No. What's no what's better than that? All of us can have something bad happen to us and all of us could again be stuck in the present. That's depression. The opposite of depression is saying, "Well, tomorrow will be better." Just believe in the future. Tomorrow's going to be a better day. I'm going to go to sleep. I'm going to get up in the morning. Sun's going to shine. have a nice cup of coffee, life is going to be good again. Which means I if you believe in the future, then you're able to deal with the present. It's the person who has no hope in the future who can't deal with the present because do I why do I believe tomorrow is any better? As of is tired. As of is depressed. Asov now believes in nothing. Aram is dead. There's nothing to believe in. And therefore, Yakov is calling him on this. And he goes, "Well, what about the future?" The birthright. By the way, the birthright may go back to tra trauma of birth. Again, lack of relationship to his mother perhaps, perhaps. But it's and it's funny because as the first born, he turns his mother into her mother, but nonetheless, she seems to only be a mother of his brother who again a slightly different relationship. Now, now let's try this again. Yoseph, he loses his mother. Is he lost in depression? What does he do? He believes in the future. How do you know he believes in the future? He's a dreamer. He dreams this is what's going to take place. Yoseph is the is the greatest dreamer that we have who believes that such you know elaborate perfect everything's going to happen. So look at Asov and and Yoseph. And by the way Yitzk is all future oriented as well. Yitsk will laugh. It's in the future. Yitsk sees things in the future and Asov sees things in the present. Asov is stuck in the present. the present is bad. Aam dies. It's never going to get any better. There's no there's nothing to believe in. So, he believes in nothing. And therefore, he has this life of uh again of searching to solve the pain that he's in by fleeting relationships. And maybe he doesn't believe in life. So, he kills. But he doesn't even kill for a purpose because he has nothing to bring home afterwards because we don't see him. By the way, there's even this terrible taramon. I have it here on the page someplace that later on when his father tells him to go hunt. So I give you brah. It says that he ends up bringing a dog and feeds it and wants to feed it to the already ate earlier that day because and it's trying to say the same thing. Asab's not a successful hunter. He's y he knows all about it. But but but even that he doesn't do it in a successful way. And that's why again I'm pointing out in this terrible scene over here where he comes home exhausted and I keep saying it. He's exhausted. He's tired. Tiredness. Exhaustion is has to do not with hunger. You could be you could be very hungry but you know he can't even cook. He can't even do anything. And now Yakov calls him on it. And that's what the Gar understands. You look at Yoseph. Yoseph believes in the future. Now go back to that moment where Yoseph also has an opportunity to solve all of his problems with a fleeting relationship. And what does he say? No, there are rules and it's wrong. And again, As there's no rules, which means again, this goes back to his nihilism. There's no rules. Why be good? It doesn't make a difference. There's no standards. And instead, what does Yoseph stand up? Yoseph preaches. Yseph says, "This would be wrong morally between me and your husbands. This would be more wrong morally between me and God." And now you look at the difference between a Yseph and Asa. Again, and if you're not aware of this, there is this great teaching. It says that as soon as Yoseph is born, where do we have this? That as soon as Yoseph is born, source 19, let me go. But hold it. Why can he go now? Isn't Asov still waiting for him and said that I'll kill you? Look at Rashi Misholnos as Yoseph is the Asov is the Satan. And who's a Satan? Who's who's his adversary? Yseph. That's from Lakash. Who's going to burn the te that that that Asov only talks about? Again, Asov's a talker. Who's going to burn that? Yoseph can take him down. But now you see, again, there's other levels of this that I've said at other points, but now you look over here and you see this this Yoseph versus Asov comparison. It's great because they're both coming from theoretically a similar type of a uh of a situation and Yoseph difference. Yoseph has morality in the present and believes in the future. Does not look for short-term solutions to all of his problems. Asov is willing to sell his whole future for a short-term solution right now. And to live your life that way is not going to be a very uh happy type of life. There's one other person who the Medish tells us that we should be comparing them to. And that is if you look at source 24 and it says there's lots of firsts over here. Go down to the last paragraph it says his spelling of blood is all you know you can see it. It says sorry here it's quoting that when which is in source 23 and that's when is born. It says that David had the same qualities as but he but he had soft eyes. He had kind eyes. By the way, eyes is what allows you to see. And therefore he sees things also for potential in the future and there's a kindness to him. But also notice something that Yoseph and David together those are the two Messiahs. Yseph Mashiah cababalistically Yseph is yod is actually the thing which is it's the person who's able to control urges where asavv is the kipa is the opposite of and he's the one who uses gura not in terms of self-control but in terms of controlling others and and again doing terrible things while you find that David Hamelik ultimately is the one who is legit the legitimate one who is uses power but he uses power with complete authority in ways which are proper and ways which are regal which eventually in the future is what brings about a type of redemption. So I go back to as I go back to my questions of predetermination and God is saying that they're going [clears throat] to go in two different directions. Both of them have capabilities, which means you could take everything about Asov and become a Yoseph and everything about him and become a Davidid. And you can use all of this in a positive way. Or you can use all of your life circumstances as an excuse for doing for the reason why nothing's ever going to work out, but that's going to add in this other thing, this immediate gratification, which by the way goes right back to Eve. Eve sees the tree and wants it right then. Immediate gratification. I mean, there are teachings that had she waited till the next day to would maybe it would have been permitted at a later point, but that's the immediate gratification. It goes right back over there. But there's always going to be these two different strands. One is going to again, and this is the good versus the evil, even when they're internalized. Do I just say, I need this, I need it now, and you know, whatever are the consequences, who cares? That's in the future. Or do I say that no, there are rules and there are laws and I need to be able to do things in the proper way and I need to be able to uh to to to be decent. Yakov is the one who who who responds to death by turning this into compassion. On the other hand, Asov returns to death by saying all of life is meaningless and there is no future whatsoever and I may as well just do anything that I want. the same qualities that creates an asov. And again, I'm getting rid now of all the psychology and all the philosophy, but I'm going straight to the cabalistic sources, but the same the same energy which can create an asov could have been used in a different way and could produce a yoseph could produce a dovet and even imagine a dovet and a yoseph coming together and working together within one personality. So Asov is very strong but Asov ends up becoming incredibly superficial and he allows this moment of death to become somebody who is completely wrapped up in death. So therefore, what is his response going to be when he says, you know, sell me the first the birthright back in the first verse? I'm going to die. Everyone's going to die. Everything is meaningless. Like what difference does any of this make? And the answer is it does make a difference and there is decency to do. and even in the face of death and we can take care of mourners and we can reach out to people who are in pain and we can try to lift people up who are on the ground and we can try but Asov does not is not interested as somebody who uses his first meeting with death to again for excuse for everything and as I said I'm willing even to take his later meeting with the theite girls and say well when did that happen midrashically that works perfectly that h that first happens on this day and the only thing that he did later on is to marry two of them Why do you need to marry two of them? Goes back to the same problem. And again, while he is trying to somehow superficially follow his father, he's actually going completely against his father and his grandfather. Especially what Alam said not to marry somebody who's local. So Asov ends up proving that again, what do we see? He's superficial. He's not even a good hunter. He ends up having to eat a vegetarian dinner. I don't know what kind of bigger punishment there possibly could have been.