Today's Mess is Yesterday's "YES" | Living with Emunah #375

Good morning, Booker To. Welcome back to Living with Amuna. Back in our regular location and back with our regular people and back together again. So grateful to be together. That was as lukewarm as an applause I've ever heard in my life. Okay, but I guess you're not so happy to be back here, but I'm happy to be back here. Great to be together again. I want to thank our generous sponsors, Dr. Zavia Bella Morgan, a memory of everybody, Dr. Brian Galbet, and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Chanzer. So grateful to the Morgans each and every week for their generosity. The series is co-sponsored anonymously in memory of the 30 fallen soldiers and alumni of Ben David who fell on October 7th. Every week we highlight a different one of those heroic soldiers. This week Staff Sergeant Elashivan Weider 23 years old Hashem Yiko of Yushalami was a squad commander in the Golani reconnaissance battalion. He fell in battle in southern Lebanon in October of 24 during a mission. He was killed alongside three of his comrades. He survived by his parents Mati and Yael and his nine siblings. She followed a family legacy of sacrifice. His grandfather fell in the Yumiper war at the Suez Canal 51 years and one day earlier than when he fell. As I say each week, our learning is not in his memory because he's next to the Kavode and his nama can't go any higher, but our learning is in gratitude to him and all of our heroes who gave their lives. This morning show in particular sponsored by Carol Wald in memory of her brother Ruben Bafin by Martha Smley of Hollywood in memory of her sister Dina Kite is 22nd of an anonymous amuna aava based shai grateful to all of our generous sponsors. Before we get into the letters and before we get into the learning, you may notice this subtle banner sitting next to me. You may notice these subtle notices on the table saving seats in front of you. If you're watching online, you may notice these subtle overlay in front of you. Once a year for approximately two weeks, I wish it were two days. I wish it were two hours. I wish it only took two minutes. But once a year, in order to do all this, in order to provide all this, to have a rabbi who's paid a salary, who gives shurim, to be able to share it and promote it online in a professional way, to be able to have a building that has lights and air conditioning or heat and coffee and slushies and security and parking, it cost money. It costs money. It's unfortunate. I wish it didn't. I wish the way of the world were different. Our members do their part. They pay membership in order to provide it. But if you're not a member and you enjoy it, is there any other area of your life where you gain value and you don't pay? You just expect and feel entitled for it to come for free. Do you walk out of Costco with food? Do you stream things that you watch for free? Do you go places and not pay? Everything else in life that we benefit that enhances our life. The gym, you go work out of the gym and you just insist that you should be able to go and not have to pay. So we need your help. It's not a payforplay. We don't do that. all the shirum everything everyone has access but we need your help to make it possible and many already have we're already more than 30% towards our goal but we need to get to 100% if anyone here wants to stroke one check to get us to 100% I'm done for the year you won't have to hear from me but if not if not and so we reserve seats for our members who make it happen and for those who contribute to the global campaign who make it happen and we ask everyone brsline.org/global /global. It'll enter you into a raffle to spend Shabas at PRS. And you remember last week when I spoke about my French fries, >> several of you asked for the recipe. And guess what? You can't have it. You don't get it. It's not yours. But um if you give $1,800 or more to our global campaign, you're automatically entered into another raffle, which is I will make dinner for you. I'll make steak. Yeah. I personally with my apron, I'll put on my man apron and I will make you dinner. Now, the proper way to eat the steak is black and blue as I told you, but I'll make it the way you like it. Even if it goes against everything I believe, I'll make it the way you like it. And I'll make you my homemade fries. All enter a raffle for 1,800 or more. Okay, let's begin. Ma, I have to make you. You don't have to be in the raffle. Aba keeps reminding me. I got to make you. So, I'll make you. You gave me my wife, so for that, you don't need a raffle. I'll make you dinner. Okay, we've got our first 23 sighting and this was Midwood, New York. Someone looked at their weather and it was 23 degrees and they were excited. Ms. Mulad Capitol 23. That could have been in Florida by the way, which this week was colder than Alaska one day and just asked the iguanas out there. Yesterday I saw walking around the lake. One person collected all the iguanas and put them in a row. And another place there were three iguanas. Someone covered them in a blanket. [laughter] There were three iguanas snuggled up in a blanket. I wanted to like lie down. I was so tired. I just wanted to lie down next to them, take the piece of the blanket. Anyway, so that's the first sighting. Rabbi Gover, thank you so much for the teach and record. I'm so grateful we'll be able to listen to all your different sharing with them. This past week, one of my rabbits at school at a birthday party, she shared the custom of saying the parac tell him for the amount of years your nish has been on earth. This is I believe predominantly a kabad custom. Others have it too. But I know is on it which is that every year every day you say perk of and each year which of do you say each day you say the corresponding number that is your year. Now different people do different things. Some people try to shoot their age on the golf course. Some people are trying to score their age on the golf course. Jews we say the par of that corresponds with how many years we've been alive. She explained that for a year you say the par corresponding with the age you will turn that coming birthday. When she said it I realized I'm 22 the par of I'll be saying this year is I'm excited to try and take the son. Very excited to keep working on muscle. Thank you for everything that you do. That is another psalm 23 kap 23 citing that she's 23 years old. Dear thank you for the shar. Thank you for the compliments blah blah blah. I live in Israel with two children. Now my answer is save the compliment. Compliment me less. bronline.org/global. The greatest compliment you could give me is make me have to let me stop having to do this. I live in Israel with two children currently serving in the army. We made aliyah in 2011. Sher have become a weekly staple adding light and helpful reminders of keeping Amun central to our lives. With all the emails about winks and nods from Hashem, I felt I should share a story in case it gives to others, especially at a time we're all feeling the uncertainty again about how things are going to evolve with Iran, which we all are. Short while after October 7th, while we're still very much in the fog of war, grappling with grief of loved ones killed, attending too many funerals, knowledge of hostages held, displaced residents, 70 members of our baconessa called up to serve, daily rockets, entry into Gaza, threats in the north. It was a heavy emotional time. My husband and I decided to go to the Kota when you're getting to Davin. We live an hour and a half drive of Yushim. I stood there pouring out my heart and it was a cold relatively quiet night with only about 50 or so women in the Ezra's nashim. When I finished my I started walking away from the hotel. But after a couple of meters stopped again and stood there facing focusing my heart and mind to Hashem with a sense of confusion about how to make sense of these confusing times. The words of Yeshibo from the corona days echoed in my mind. What can we understand from this? What can we learn from this? Then suddenly, suddenly a song started playing. I was taken a back and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked around and noticed on the white plastic chair next to where I was standing, there was a plastic bag with a phone and a few things inside. I hadn't noticed anyone leaving a bag there, but figured the person must have left it on the chair when they went closer to the Kotel Taf. The phone just kept ringing. the payings of Mashiach, they're coming for about a minute. That was that person's cell phone ringer. No one came to pick up the phone during the time. I stood there with a sense of disbelief that of all the phone rings and all the time someone would leave a phone unattended at the not be there to silence and the minute it rang was when I stood there asking Hashem to show me a sign. Help me make sense of these unsettling times. and the ring. I almost felt like it was too unreal to be true, but stopped and thank for the which he has continued to help me and my loved ones. I shared the story through the journey we've continued traveling as people of Amuna. May we priv have the privilege not just to feel the labor pains but to see and feel the joy of Messiah. Amen. Rabbi Goldberg, I was blown away when you mentioned Michael Jordan this week. Did I mention Michael Jordan? >> I must have mentioned Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan's jersey. Maybe it was one of the weeks that the men were allowed to come to M. Not that the women can't know Michael Jordan's jersey number. Relax. Everyone relax. I can wear an apron. It's okay. Everybody relax. What was Michael Jordan's jersey number? >> 23. You see, you all know. Everyone knows his number is 23. What most people don't know. This is an amazing amuna email. What most people don't know is that his birthday is February 17th, the same as my daughter's. I've heard about this since she was little, and she'll be 17 this month. When you said it, I realized that her Hebrew birthday is and I thought at first the craziness was the 23 Michael Jordan connection. Then I decided to look up Michael Jordan's Hebrew birthday. [laughter] And Michael Jordan's Hebrew birthday is Gimlvat. Do you think that's why his number is 23? Shabbat shalom from Here it is. He was born the 17th of February 1963. So everyone mark your calendar. The 23rd of coming up. Don't forget to send Michael Jordan a yum a yum who let it s. You can't make this stuff up people. Rabbi go my daughter should an embrace your place sighting. See the image below. Mom look at the side of the sled. You ready for this? This is the Israeli bob sled. Olympic Milan Olympic qualifiers. This is the Israeli bobsled. >> Israeli bobsled. On the side of the Israeli bobsled is an Israeli flag. And next to it, it says, "Embrace your place." On the side of the Israeli bobsled, it says, "Gotta love that." What I love most about that is it was a child who saw this online in the NBC Olympics stories of 2026. Uh saw this online and sent her mother and said, "Look at the side of the sled. You got to love embrace your place." They also made a little be a warrior, not a warrior. Thank you very much, dear. I'm writing this after my daughter fell asleep to the sound of your amuna. She's not the only one. [laughter] Many do. I actually highly recommend it for all insomniacs. just put on my shear. I tell people it's dangerous to listen while driving, but if you're lying down in bed, it's a perfect thing in the middle of the night. It feels fitting since she's named after the sheir. Her name is Amuna, named for our sheir. I often joke that she heard your voice so much in Udo that it now comforts her to sleep. Though tonight, they may actually be true. As you know, we're continuing our fertility journey. Even after being blessed with a miracle baby, the nerves from earlier losses still surface in these early weeks. I'm sharing this with you because you've walked this road, too. Because the Torah you teach it by your experience has given me when I need it most. I went back and forth whether I should even share this Psalm 23 sighting. Ble and I my first real positive son in the midst of this fertility journey was on January 23rd which felt like a true Psalm 23 sighting. I see the one 123 as the child I already have and the 23 as a Psalm 23 sighting that I'll have another. I haven't really shared this with anyone beyond my husband and away since his email is somewhat anonymous. It feels like a Psalm 23 sighting with meaning. When you struggle with prior loss, it can be hard to remember where that you are exactly where you're meant to be. Even with incredible organizations like Mama Comfort, we mentioned previously where I was supposed to have a baby. Both amazing organizations, these topics often aren't spoken about openly outside of those spaces. You always have the courage to bring these difficult topics up like the end of your year when you spoke about Kana. The way you explained that her longing was deeply personal yet elevated by her desire to dedicate her son to Hashem. Help me reflect on my own file more clearly, which hasn't been great lately, given the fact that I'm a moa and a mom and not a lot of time. For many years, I haven't just asked Hashem for children. I've asked for children to love and fear him. I found myself thinking more deeply about why I want another child to have a son to name after my Zadei, a Holocaust survivor, so his name and legacy continue. A future great-grandson would be his only male from direct descendant. With that in mind, I found myself thinking, I thought for sure you were going to connect the last hostage's body was returned on the anniversary of the liberation of Ashvitz. Perhaps it's a reminder hears the cries of our people throughout time. Thank you for the Torah. I know I've said this. Thank you. The amunir is food for the nama. Thank you for answering the emails. And all those waiting and longing should hold beautiful baby in their arms. Should keep them up at night. Should make them change their diapers. Should make their house a mess. We discussed this past Shabbas yeshiva week. Our house was very full ble and har with many many grandchildren and children who came along with them. We didn't need them but the grandchildren [laughter] and the house was literally like a nuclear bomb went off inside it in the house in the backyard everywhere. Canara there were seven children under six I think in that book. It was. And every time I felt like complaining about chairs that weren't tucked back in, which was the least of the problems, I reminded myself this is the answer to artillos. We do in for the messiest house in the world because there would be children, little children running around. Never complain. Never be better. Never be resentful. And certainly don't complain to others because you don't know what they're going through, what they're waiting for, and what they would give to have that mess. What they would give to be staying up at night. what they would give to have that dirty diaper. What they would give to have that moment. So never complain to others because you don't know what's going on in their lives. As the great Scottish philosopher Ian McLaren said, be kind to everyone you meet for you never know the battle that they're fighting. We never know the battle anyone's fighting. So be careful. Be kind. But my point is even in our own head and even in our own mind, realize the mess we're complaining about today is the yes to yesterday's prayer. Often the thing we're complaining about today is the yes to the of yesterday of yesterday. And we have to stop ourselves and we have to remind ourselves and we have to say what I'm complaining about today is the yes to the thing I dabbed for yesterday. We have to be careful for it. Dearb gober, I work as an occupational therapist of special needs preschool and I want to share a story from our field trip south. This is in Israel. We visited the hot houses of a student's family. These parents have faced incredible trials. They were expelled from Gushkatif. rebuilt their whole life and livelihood 10 years ago in the south near Stro. They saw it burned to the ground on October 7th by an Arab terrorist and then suffered massive flooding just weeks ago when Israel had crazy flash floods and once again are starting over. Can you imagine any one of those things would debilitate and paralyze countless others? Let me review that. They were expelled from Gashkatif. Then they rebuilt their lives until it was burnt to the ground on October 7th. Then they rebuilt it again until mass flooding destroyed it again. Despite the despite this, they greeted our children with huge smiles. As they handed the kids seeds to plant, they said, "We need three ingredients for the crops to grow. We need water, sun, and felot because without Hashem, we have nothing." They hashem successfully grow lettuce for most of the mahadron companies. The most inspiring detail was the t-shirts the father designed for all the workers. There's a picture of lettuce and below the picture it says but it doesn't say it says because the Hebrew word for lettuce isa dove. It's a beautiful play on words in his great kindness using the word for lettuce to remind everyone their success comes solely from Hashem's mercy. Seeing the workers from Thailand wearing these t-shirts is amazing. On the ride home, my co-workers and I discussed how we were floored by their positivity and resilience. They're not just growing lettuce. They're growing pure amuna. Isn't that amazing? Kasa, just think about this father expelled from Gushkatif field burned to the ground on October 7th. Flash flooding attacking it again. And he says, "Ah, Hashem is amazing and we need Hashem and we can't grow without Hashem." Absolutely incredible. But go listen this week's living. I'm going to show you highlighted the importance of following up and saying thank you. I don't know if anybody listened, but we finally published it yesterday in my interview with Rebbitson Shakar, the one and only Rebbitson Shrear, the great Rebbiten Shakar. And I pointed out it's a fantastic interview. It's well worth watching as they all are if I must say. And who here thinks Y should be on more often? Yeah, there we go. Okay. So Rabbis and Shakar spoke about how often people turn to you when they need help or in crisis but they fail to follow up and you never know how it ends. She said they get phone calls all the time. Her husband the great Marin Rabenu gets phone calls all the time. Can you davin for She said my husband is stilling for men are 900 years old. Nobody ever Nobody ever calls. Nobody ever tells you. You probably don't remember. This person writes this person writes. You probably don't remember. I wrote it five years ago almost five years to the day about the miscarriage I suffered on Shabashira on Shabas Parish at the time you responded with sincere empathy and abra for the future of my family. So I want to say how meaningful and comforting it was that you were no say B with me. Thank you for the kindness and sincerity. I did have four beautiful healthy children at the time of that miscarriage. I did my best to grieve and to come to terms with the loss. Nearing my 40th birthday and not knowing what the future had in store, I told myself perhaps the GBO plans for my family were different than mine. Perhaps my joyful boisterous household with four children was perfect the way it was. But then right after I recovered physically from the miscarriage, I became pregnant and my husband and children were overjoyed to welcome a new baby boy into our family in the fall of 2021. In January 2022, we flew for yeshiva week. Our family of seven spend Shabbashi with my cousin. She and her husband are tremendous as their custom to keep their front door unlocked at night just in case anyone might need help. I woke up around midnight Friday night to feed my newborn who was just three months and nursing every few hours around the clock. After his midnight snack, the baby went right back to sleep. But I, for whatever reason, find myself wide awake. Since I couldn't fall back asleep, I brought a stack of books from my cousin's house to the living room couch where I sat in a comfy tickle and shabas robe, happily reading. At 2 am, there was a light knock on the door. A young man came in and explained that his wife was in labor and needed to go to the hospital. My cousin had offered to watch the two girls when their mother would go into labor, so he was going to wake her. I knew that she had probably gone to sleep three hours before. I also knew that as much as I wished I could go back to sleep, I was wide awake. And maybe, just maybe, this was the reason why. I asked my husband if he was okay with me going to this man's house instead of my cousin. I gave my husband the address, and we agreed he would meet there at 7:00 a.m. with our baby who would need to eat again. And that's how I wound up having a kaik and the birth of another baby boy. All because my miracle baby who had woken me up for a midnight feeding. I'll never forget the shabashira 5 years ago, the shabas of my miscarriage. But now I remember it with gratitude. I look at my five healthy children and I sing a shir of my own. Asha for all the brahos that Hashem has given me. Okay. Okay. I I could read emails the rest of the day and I'm tempted to, but I want to get to the learning. One more Psalm 23 sighting. Ah, one more. I've been learning and enjoying your shar immensely. That's they've done so much for me and I'm truly grateful for the podcast. I went for giving myself deadlines for when I needed to be engaged to completely letting go and letting god and that feeling is truly freeing. Working on my amun has also helped me with my anxieties. I came to realize when anxiety don't coexist. I choose amuna and that means anxiety has to go. Over the past year since I began listening to she I've been actively working on my relationship with hashm. I speak to him throughout the day but especially every night before going to sleep. I have an open conver conversation with him. I review my day, thank him for all the good and then I dab him for what I need, especially finding my basher. And I am by thanking him, I thank him for being single. I remind myself that being single means I still have an opportunity to meet someone incredible and that is a blessing. My relationship with Hashem has grown so much and I feel close. When you began teaching that Hashem is my shepherd, it deeply resonated with me and I love hearing the stories of Psalm 23 sightings. Just a few days ago, I returned from an amazing vacation. Everything worked out perfectly, but Hashem I couldn't stop thanking Hashem the entire time. But once I got home, the reality of still being single hit hard and not having something to look forward to. I decided to listen to the latest episode I'd missed while away. And as usual, it gave me automatically felt better and I enjoyed hearing another Psalm 23 sighting, which got me thinking, I want my own 23 sighting and how meaningful that would be, especially now that I could use a hug from Hashem. And that's when it hit me. I am the 23 sighting. I'm 23 years old. Hashem is truly walking with me. He's my shepherd. I am a sheep. He's always taking care of me. Psalm 23 cited. Okay, there are many more. Please continue to write. It's good for you to write. It's good for me to read and hopefully we'll be able to share many more. We're on page of the great saddak was walking us through how to live with amuna. Not just abstract, not just conceptually, but in practice and with purpose. That is our life. Ego versus elocus. and it determines everything about our life. I said this yesterday in the par, but I'll repeat it that there's a Harvard study. I actually still have it here open because it's going in my book. The title of it is beyond work scroll and repeat cultivating meaning and purpose. You ready for this? Over half of young adults, 58% said they had experienced little or no purpose or meaning in their lives in the previous month. Half of young people said their mental health was negatively influenced by not knowing what to do with my life. It has these unbelievable statistics in here about the impact uh what is the biggest source of meaning in relationship with the biggest source of meaning and purpose in life and also having no meaning and purpose corresponds with the uh challenges of mental health. This meaning of per lack of meaning and purpose is correlated in our data with several mental health challenges including anxiety and depression. Young adults who said they had little or no purpose reported more than twice the rates of anxiety and depression than adults who did feel purpose and meaning. 54% versus 25%. Seems clear that meaning and purpose can be a bull work against mental health struggles. But how do those of us with young adults in our lives support them in developing a sense of meaning and a sense of purpose? Living with amuna. Meaning and purpose is not living about ego. It's living elkus. Our life is one or the other. They can't be both. We're either living for ourselves, our happiness, our power, our control, our ability to interpret the world. We're either living with our being in charge or we surrender and submit. We let go and we let God and we enjoy this ride that's called life. We go on this adventure with Hashem in which we take our initiative. We make our effort. We exert and express our best effort. And then we recognize the rest is up to him. And if you want to be mentally healthy, if you want to practice mental hygiene, someone taught me, my friend Chestston taught me, it's not just about mental illness or mental health, you have to practice mental hygiene. Good mental hygiene. Just like you have to shower and brush your teeth and do all the things that we struggle to get our adolescent sons to do. But all of us adults have to practice good hygiene, there's mental hygiene. And there's a long list of things that you can do to practice mental hygiene that include healthy self-care, other things, meditation, slowing down, sleep. There's a long list of things for mental hygiene. But I would argue among the top are working on amuna, living with amuna and working on amuna are practicing mental hygiene. And it's not me saying it. I mean it means to used to mean something to say Harvard but a Harvard study is saying it twice twice. This is not like oh a few more people struggle with mental health if they have no meaning and purpose. Twice as likely to struggle with mental health anxiety and depression if you have no meaning and purpose. And how do you find meaning and purpose? Meaning and purpose comes in many forms. It comes in the relationships that we have and their richness. But it also comes in feeling I have a mission. Meaning and purpose come from knowing I'm not a victim of randomness and chance that I'm here by design and that I have a mission and I have a purpose. Meaning and purpose come from having meaning and purpose. And how do you have meaning and purpose? By having meaning and purpose. And who gives you the meaning and purpose? The almighty God who puts you where you are for a mission. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? How can I embrace this particular place and make the most of it? What's my mission in this moment? Why am I here? And what am I meant to do? How do I get outside of myself? I've been telling you for a long time, treatment for anxiety and depression includes not just listening to living with Amuna and giving to the global campaign, but it includes volunteering, volunteering. This is not just a ploy to get you to volunteer. We opened two new initiatives here. Really, Florida Network opened it. FCN, the Florida Kassid Network, the incredible organization doing extraordinary work that is really about to blow up in big ways. Florida Network, we happen to be hosting it here. One of them is called The Closet. Tremendous thanks to Tamar and uh Alli and others, Sarah, for working on the closet. People donate gently used clothing in many places still has the label and tags on it. That's how gently it wasn't used beyond trying it on in the dressing room. And people who could benefit come and pay whatever they want, whatever they can afford, a few dollars come and shop with dignity and go home with clothing and not have to worry am I going to have y of clothing or food to eat. Can I pay tuition and also what do I do when my clothing is worn out? It's an amazing amazing. But you know what? For it to happen, we need you to go through your closet and to organize and to donate. And if you needed that extra motivation to do it, now you have it. Because now you're not going to have bags of clothing that you don't know where they should go and they're just going to fill up your garage or sit in the trunk of your car. Now there's a place that could benefit and use it. So far the closet was only open one night and it was cleaned out of everything it had which just testifies to the benefit of the people who could use it. It's unbelievable. And separately we also opened something called shea. The word shea means the abundance from hem like hashbah we dab for shea. And it's a cute play on words. Chef ah like c h e f d- ah chef ah food rescue. How many events happen that are catered that people have left over and it could be you at a pizza party in your house and there's a pie left over and it could be an for an anniversary or a chevos and there's an incredible amount. So we now have a place we bought a separate fridge and freezer and all that food can get picked up or it could get dropped off and it gets repackaged into smaller containers. Two nights ago, 85 containers were made and were distributed to people who could benefit from that food. What it would give to them and the treat it would be for them and their family to have dinner, to have a dessert, to have access to that food which otherwise would have gone in the garbage. Now, why am I sharing that? Because first of all, we should be proud that we have it and they're the brainchild of regular people and they're being run and driven not by the personnel and staff of Bocarone Synagogue, but Florida Network and the amazing Sarah, but also volunteers like Tamar and others. And I'm telling this to you because we need more people. We need volunteers when people come up to pick up the food, drop off the food, organize. We need you to donate and organize what's in your closet. And now I'll give you and then we're going to get into the text. I promise I'm going to give you the rule of thumb. It's possible I had to have this with someone I'm closely related to by marriage. But when you're going through your closet and you're deciding what to throw out in trouble for a whole group of things already today, she [laughter] whole group of things. [clears throat] Um when you're going through your closet, here's how to figure out whether you should keep it or throw it out. Here's how. And this comes from the book essentialism because he applies it to how we should view the time in our lives as well. Every article of clothing you lift up and you look at, ask yourself the following question. Knowing what I know now about it, how it fits, how it feels, its style, what it looks like, what it looks like on me. Knowing what I know now about it, would I buy it now? If I didn't yet own it, would I buy it now? And if the answer is not yes, I'd buy it now. It's got to go. When in doubt, throw it out. Don't throw it out. Give it to the closet. But when you look at it, when you hold it up and you ask yourself now that what I know about it now, would I buy it today? That the answer is not yes, I would buy it today. It's gone in the closet. It's out. And the same is true for time. By the way, that's what the book essentialism, Greg McKon, amazing life-changing book says. When you've made a commitment that's in your time, knowing what you know now about it, sitting on that that commitment to this this obligation, if you hadn't yet made it, would you do it now? And if the answer is no, then it's time to get out of it. Okay, page ku. We're talking about amuna. So amuna, meaning and purpose. That's how I got into it. The Harvard study. We have meaning and purpose. We have a mission. There's a reonal and he put us in this world to make a difference. And what is it? You wanted to practice mental hygiene. The mental hygiene is having meaning and purpose. And this must be the conversation around our dinner table and our shabas table with our children and our grandchildren, with our neighbors and with their children. The conversation should not be about our ego. Should not be about ourselves. Where'd you go a week and what did you enjoy and what did you eat and how was it and what did you wear and did you get and did you drive and do you have the latest thing? There's nothing wrong with enjoying all of those things as a tangent to our lives. But those aren't our lives. They shouldn't define our lives. We should never confuse that with who we are and with our identity. That's not our lives. And our conversations should be about our mission and our purpose. What good did you do today? What difference did you make today? How did you get outside of yourself today? Did you live today for ego or for elocus? What's an example of something today where you felt and you connected and you lived elocus, not ego, you did something for someone else. You volunteered. You gave. Because if we want that mental hygiene being practiced in our own lives and in our children and the people around us, it's by focusing not on ourselves, but focusing on our purpose, our meaning, what role, and what we can give and what we do for others. And based on this we can also understand we say in ash we're still now we're still psalm 23 sightings but the last few weeks we've moved over to the great ash which our rabbis promised us that if you say say it several times a day you're promised the world to come. That's it. You could eat kazmats and cheat on your taxes and cheat on your family and and that's it. You just say ash a couple times a day and you're good to go. Oh, it's that easy. Say two of these. That's not our religion. Say two of these and a few of those and >> and you are absolved. That's not our religion. So that's it. Say no, it's not say ash. It's live. Saying it's the easy part. Living it's much harder. The will of those who fear you, you do. And they're pleased. You hear and you save them. If you in fact live and fulfill the first half of that, why do we need the second half? If the what's desire, the will. If the will of those who fear you, if you answer yes to everything your loyal children want, then why do you have to hear and save them from their please? The righteous people, they ask Hashem, "You know what my rats is? I want to serve you. I want to live at the highest level. I want my mindfulness and my intent, my presence and my consciousness. I want to eat out of holiness and sleep in holiness and talk holiness. I want to live and be. I want to embody holiness. But that is a lofty aim and ambition. That's an enormous dream. That's hard to practice and fulfill. Hashem, my effort, my initiative. I can only go so far. But you know my rut zone, my will. My will. You know my want. You know my desire. You know my dream. You know my effort. We gave a whole drussia on this several weeks ago, maybe a couple months ago now, where we said, if you want to know what someone values, what their dream is, watch what they run to. Do you run to the mall? Do you run to the car dealership? Do you run to Again, nothing wrong with enjoying and driving a nice car? And nothing wrong with enjoying and shopping and wearing the latest thing. But do you run to the base med? Do you run to shul? Do you run to volunteer at the closet? Do you run to volunteer at Sheffa? Do you run to see children and grandchildren? Where do we run? Says everything about us. And therefore, it's not a coincidence that what's the Hebrew word for run? What's the Hebrew word for want? Roton. Because where you run shows what your rzone is. Where we run reveals what we really want. And the things that we don't run to, stop saying you want. Stop saying you want. If you don't run to the gym or run at the gym, you are not a runner and stop saying you are. That's the great Tony Robbins advice. I mentioned it recently on behind the beimma. Tony Robbins motivational speaker. One of his pieces of advice is stop talking about the verb what you want to do and start describing yourself by the noun what you do because it'll be I won't I'll paraphrase him. It's past to describe yourself as a runner if you don't run. So you can't say a runner. I'm a runner. They'll say, "Oh, really? When did you have your last run?" "Not yet. I'm going to." "Well, then you're not yet a runner." The fact that you bought sneakers doesn't make you a runner. The fact that you bought the latest and well overpriced running gear doesn't make you a runner. The fact that you even signed up for the next Miami Marathon doesn't make you a runner. You know what makes you a runner? running and until you run, you're not a runner. So he mentions it as a strategy. If you describe yourself as a runner, so now it'll be past. It's embarrassing. It's it's it's shameful that you're a runner who doesn't run. You can't say I'm a learner and you don't learn. You can't say I'm a daver and I don't dain. You can't say I'm a person of amuna and I don't have amuna. So you have to describe yourself. I think about this often. You know, when I think about it, when I leave funerals, as a rabbi, I attend way too many funerals. I know some almost every time I drive away from a funeral, there was something said in the tribute from some that made me think, I want that said about me. And often it's grandchildren talking about grandparents. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes you're at a funeral and felt like nobody could find anything nice to say and they manufactured them and you also think about what kind of legacy I want to leave. How hard will it be to find nice things to say? Will it be clear what I think I live for? Am I successfully transmitting and communicating that? Is that what will be said? But often it's a grandchild talking about a grandparent. The time, the attention they thought of me, the little gift they checked in, they followed up and and I think I I want that. I want to be that. And then I think, well, if I want to be the greatest, I want to be the zeda, a hall of fame zeta. I want to be a hall of fame zeta. But you don't get your picture in the hall of fame if you don't put up the numbers to be in the hall of fame. So you can't be a hall of fame za if you don't spend time with your your kind with your with your ana you got to put in the time the attention the focus the resources to be that they're not going to say it if you weren't it. So whatever that is in life you know another author talks about the personal brand. What's your personal brand? When you walk in the room what do people think? What's your brand? Are you the giver? Are you the taker? Are you the ego? Are you the elocus? Are you are the doer or are you the talker? What's your brand? What's your brand? How are you thought of? What's your legacy? What will people say about you? So all that's rutson. The rut zone is the desire. But your real rut zone, not what you want to want, but what you want. There's a big difference between what you want to want and what you want. Until you start acting like an amazing zeta, you want to want to be a great zeta, but you don't want to be. Because if you wanted to be, you would. We have these things in our lives all the time. Sometimes we even pay a monthly fee for them. They're called the pelaton. We want to want to go on the pelaton, but the evidence that you don't really want to go on the pelaton is the screen on the pelaton that tells you the last time you were on it. You want to want to spend less time on your cell phone, but you don't really want to spend less time on your cell phone. And the evidence of that is the screen time on your phone. That tells you how much time you were on it. So the first step is to be honest with ourselves to look in the mirror and to admit the difference between the things I want and the things I want to want. But when we really want the thing that we really do run to, we're rats because we really ro and that's really where our rut zone is. By the way, when is the time of the week that's most misugal, the energy of the week where we really formulate what's my aim, my ambition, my wish, my dream. What do I want to run to this week? When am I going to fulfill it? When will I when will I merit to get a divine providence and a system to help me fulfill my will, my want, my wish, my dream for this week? When is that time of week? >> It's called ratsos raven. It's the holiest time of the week. And unfortunately for too many, it's the most neglected time of the week. It's the ha time of shalashis. If I've done anything in this campus and in the shul among the things I'm most proud of is something most don't even know about and that's the shallow that happens in this room. It went from a room of people who are just buying time to like marav and makeah to the holiest and happiest and most amazing time. And we have the space for women. There are women who come too. The singing, the diver Torah, the energy, the spirituality in that room. It is gamechanging and life-changing. It's amazing because that's the energy. What do we say at Shabase? My prayer to you in this time of It's an ace. It's an described as the of Shabas. It's the of Shabas. You know, you're tired, you're thirsty, you're hungry, you have nothing left, but you find a way to pull it together for because the energy is so special is the of Shabas. It's the time is the Aramaic foros. And why is it that? I'm so sorry to take you on this detour, but sorry, I'm not sorry. It's because when did Hashem create the world? I'll give you a hint. It's called the first day. When did he create the world? In Judaism, the day follows the night. So when did creation begin Shabas? Saturday night mo Shabas is when creation began. Now we know and we sing that it was Hashem first decided to create a world before he created it. So when did he decide to create the world before he created it? time shabas time right before Saturday night before the precursor to yon is when he made the decision to create the world that's why it's the raton it's a time of and therefore we embrace it as a time of any people here they see it as such a holy time they don't eat how could you eat in the time okay how does that good question not for now they view it as such a holy time. How could you eat in such a holy time of we do eat the mitzvah they have to eat. So this is the time and every week at I encourage us all myself included. This is the what's your for this week? What's your rats? Make more money, buy more things, have more pleasure. Nothing wrong. Those should be somewhere on a list way down. It's okay to have that on the list. What's your will? What's your want? Where are you going to run this week? Are you running to be the Hall of Fame Zeta, Hall of Fame Bubby? Are you running to be the Hall of Fame husband or wife? Are you running to be the Hall of Fame friend? Are you running to be the Hall of Fame volunteer at the closet, at Sheffa, at whatever other amazing organization in the community? Are you running to give to the global campaign so your family is listed because you want to be among those who are counted as caring, as giving, as having hakara satov? Are you running? Because where you run will say everything about you. And when will we decide when do we determine when do we become focused? When do we begin that run? And here's the kicker, ladies. I'm sorry to tell you that the is women have to eat shall just as much as men. Ah, grandma maybe maybe women should be exempt. So because women too were in the miracle. You know why we eat three we had we had enough food for three males on chabas. Did women also benefit from the mun fell falling? I would argue women benefited the most. You know why? >> They didn't have to cook. I'm not trying to be gender specific. I already told you I'll cook dinner. Okay. I got another thing on the list. I got to apologize for that. That, that, and now this. Okay. Can I just give one that will cover all? I have to give apologies that will cover all or I have to be specific for the anyway for now and I'm going to apologize before this year and just say if I say anything it should all be covered in advance. I'm going have to speak to my lawyer to write something up. So women are also obligated in but you shouldn't feel I'm obligated. You should feel I have the privilege of shall you could come to the one we have together or you could do it yourself at home but you got to sing m three times. It's unbelievable. The roof almost blew off last week at this year. We had Rabbi Kaish. She couldn't get a seat. The room was packed. It ended with standing and holding hands. It was unbelievable. And we went into that week entirely different. And by the way, all the braha, all the blessing that you will want in the coming week, do you know when it's allocated and determined when it's given? Shalash says on Shalash it's actually a PK in last week's para in last week's para says that the manfell the word is used three times in the corresponding with the three meals we eat on Shabas and it says you eat the three meals you won't find it in the field says you won't find it in the field it could have said it won't fall why doesn't it say the m doesn't fall in shabas why does it say you won't find it in the field says because we have a tradition that all the blessing you're going to get in the coming week it's allocated on Shabas at shall it gets delivered each day of the week the day you need it so lest you think I'm going to neglect shall I'm going to neglect Shabas altogether and then I'll dab in hard on Monday for my parnasa on Monday I'll dab in hard on Wednesday for the parnasa on Wednesday I'll dab in hard on Tuesday for the doctor's appointment on Tuesday it's too late it's the shabas before the energy the activity the love the connection the experience of shabas that hashem sets aside all the braha for the week and then it gets delivered. The Amazon Walmart target delivery comes Monday for Monday, Tuesday for Tuesday, Wednesday for Wednesday. But the bundle of what we're getting that week, when does it come? When is it allocated on the Shabas before? Does that not change your Shabas? Does that not change your Shabash? You sit there and you think not is it almost yet? What should I wear Shabas? What events do we have Shabas? What should we eat? I really shouldn't eat anything. I ate so much on chabas. I'll start that tomorrow. Let me just have pizza today. You that whole conversation about you can't wait for Shabas to end. That's not a Jewish conversation. That's not a shittas. That's not a shabid conversation. The shallist conversation with ourselves instead is is what is what's my ruts on? What's my ruts on this shash? Where do I want to run this week? What's happening? What's on tap this week? What's on tap this week? Same way we've talked about that a Jew begins every day by saying to the shalom, here's what's on tap this week. The greatest motivator for for shakers is to look at your schedule, your calendar. How could you look at your calendar that day? I don't care what age or stage of life you're up to and not find something on your tap that day that you don't need his help with. I need his help every single day. This meeting, the Faka global campaign, this trip we have to take, this parent teacher conference we have to have. I Okay, the next thing is I don't go to parent teacher conferences that she has to have. [laughter] I took that one off the list. That one I corrected in real time. The every day there are things on our calendar and schedule that we need his help for. How could you tell me I don't want to dive in again. It's the same words. I'm bored. I'm checked out. It doesn't speak to me. It doesn't speak to you. Look at your calendar. What do you mean it doesn't speak to you? Look at your calendar. Whatever you have, maybe half of those things on your calendar you have to say, "Thank you for Thank you for the mess we had this past Shabas. It was the most glorious, most beautiful mess that's ever been created. Thank you for the mess that we had the shabas and hashem thank you that they left and we cleaned up and hashem thank you that they're going to come back again how how there things on the calendar every day to ask for to be thankful for the calendar is the biggest inspiration for that there is at the beginning of the day and then the at the end of the day like the author of the email that we got today who says every day she lies in bed and she covers and reviews that day and says thank you including she finds the will and the way to say thank you for still being single But can we stay at the end of each day? Thank you. That thing I asked you help did work out. Thank you. Thank you. That it worked out. Thank you. That one didn't work out exactly as I hoped. Hashem, can we can we move it to tomorrow and still work on it in a different way? So, where are we going to run this week? What is on tap this week? It's all decided. It's all determined. Don't neglect it. Lean into it. And if your community where you live, they don't have it. Bring people. Do a woman shar to host a sha. Bring a sha. Get lost in shashidas. Turn out the lights. Lights out shalash. Ditch and throw out all the clocks for shall because Shabas is where you want to be. It's the maka. It's the holy of holies. It's the payoff and the payday. We don't rest on Shabbas so we could work all week. We work all week so that we can have the hashabas. You don't look at your vacation and say, "I can't wait till it ends. Is it almost over? I want to go back. Are we almost done?" You say, "Oh, I don't want this vacation to end. When is the next one? I can't wait for it. Shabas is that vacation in the week. It's before Mam Dani. What was the ultimate snow day? He destroyed the snow day. The bigger hate crime than being an anti-semitite is he took away the snow day from the kids of New York. It's mamaisha hate crime. [laughter] I'm saying as a kid the greatest thing in the world is when your parent told you go back to sleep. School's canled. It's a snow day. He said turn on Zoom. School from home. That's a hate crime. >> Not specifically to the Jews. That's a hate crime to humanity >> to take away the snow day. Every Shabas is a snow day. No matter how many errands, no matter how much you have to do, no matter how much on your plate, you can't do it. It's a snow day called Shabas. So, who would want that to end? Who would be running or rushing for it to end? I want to stay in Chabas a little bit more. I want Shah Shabas to last a little bit longer. I don't want to make Abdullah and go anywhere. This is where I want to be. Why would I want to be anywhere else? And this is where I'm thinking, what's my ruts? Where am I going to run this week? What matters? Which Hall of Fame am I going for this week? Hall of Fame friends, Hall of Fame volunteer, Hall of Fame husband, Hall of Fame wife, old mother, father, son, daughter. What's on tap? My profession, my career, where am I running this week? Because that's what will say everything about me. So, back to this. Why did I get into all of this? We'll end with this and then we'll do our question and answer. Although only for those who are live here in person because When we communicate to Hashem and we demonstrate to him what we want, where we're running, he lets us break through walls. He lets us run through limits and ceilings. He lets us achieve and accomplish that which was unimaginable. It's the story. It's a story that we just read of Mosher Rabenu and Bisa Basparo, not Basia because that's not her name. and her name is Bisha Basaro, the daughter of parro who sees the basket floating and it's far away from her further than an arm's length. She reaches out and grabs it anyway. And the kazala rabbis tell us a miracle occurred. She reached out, her arm stretched and she was able to pull it in. And the commentaries ask if it was so far away, why would she reach out? It was beyond her reach. Why did she bother? And the answer because Hashem made a miracle. And the miracle is when we reach out, we recognize that sometimes, to quote a famous English author, that which is beyond our reach is still within our grasp. Sometimes that which is beyond our reach is still within our grasp. But you have to reach out. If Biss was sitting there, the basket didn't float up to her. Even when it seems too far away, when we express our rut zone, my rut zone is to reach for it. Even when it's beyond our reach, Hashem makes it beyond within our grasp. Even when it feels beyond our reach, Hashem makes it within our grasp. That's reach out your hand. Show it your and he'll make it within your grasp. So you say, "How am I going to get through this? How can I be the hall of fame of that thing? I've got to overcome this illness, this partners issue, this issue, that issue, the show the rut zone. Demonstrate the rut zone. Recite the rut zone. Run to that rut zone." And when we reach out, when we show Hashem, even when it seems too far away, even when it feels impossible, even when you say it can't happen, he makes it within our grasp. This global campaign, every year we do it, we set a target. We say it's impossible and it trickles in in small denominations and it feels like we'll never get there. And I'm so grateful that we're at 30%, I could actually give you the live update. We are exactly at 31%. Beautiful. During this year, how are we going to get to 100%. Just keep reaching out. Emails, texts, and obnoxious mentions in Shirum and obnoxious in-your-face popup posters. I wish we didn't have to. And I'm bringing it to you really as an example. But small, little incremental, just keep reaching. And Hashem says, even if you can't see, even if you can't see the finish line, I'm going to put it within your grasp. I'm going to get you there. If it's what he wants, if it's his will, then he'll get us there. So all of us, I end with says all all Torah should end with. And maybe we should start doing that more often to end with should help us formulate our and our should be his as the says our should conform with his our will and want should be part of his plan for us. We should take advantage of the of the on each week to know what to run to and what to run from and to express that will then not only therefore to extend our reach but hashem Hashem should put it all all the braha within our grasp. Thank you to those who've responded to the global campaign. Thank you to those who will respond to the global campaign. And we continue now with a live question and answer for those who are here in