To a GRIEVING mother | Letter #6 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

um we are in the mid middle of 30 letters in 30 days and uh you know we can't miss even though shab's just ended but uh it's important uh consistency the only day that we miss is Friday but we don't really miss it because we double up with a little Le mishna on L shishi we do a double letter Thursday night got a lot of comments about the the double letter Thursday night to D L Obama shalam about his miraculous interactions with the politician Yakov zov that was to me that that's a that's just a wild story if you missed that because it was Thursday night and you were preparing for uh chabas or you were I don't know you got home late from CA Milla go back and listen to uh the previous sheer uh just in general if you are watching these classes on YouTube here's something very convenient you can do for yourself just make sure to subscribe to my channel so soul wordss and turn on notifications and then every time we go live with another Shear you're going to be notified it'll just make life so much easier you're busy you know just subscribe and do it right now if you're watching on YouTube just subscribe and hit turn on notifications if you're watching on uh on soulwords dorg on the website I don't have any like notification or subscription like that but uh if you're listening on podcast platforms you can subscribe to the podcast okay um without further Ado tonight's letter tonight's letter is a little bit of a departure it is not from The igos KES um we normally learn a letter from the egis we normally learn a letter from the igis and igis are all Hebrew and Yiddish um tonight's letter is English and to my knowledge it is not printed anywhere it is a genuine Pearson Rin meaning this is the first time that it's being shared on a large scale and I received this letter from a friend uh rabak con of pmic Maryland and Bone Florida a friend a personal friend a friend of soulwords and he called me up and he said he has this really special letter how did he get it uh he actually knew the people involved and it's a tragic story this happened in 1972 where a family from uh well the address on the letter says Silver Spring Maryland but uh a family in Maryland um suffered a terrible Unthinkable loss a tragic loss their the the their daughter was murdered and the mother was understandably inconsolable and and she reached out everywhere for comfort and she didn't really find any type of Solace and somebody told her she was not a laer at all somebody told her to write to the laer Abbot which she did and she received this response she received this response so we're going to read and learn that ebba's response to this grieving mother um raka received I think the photo copy or factly from the brother of the woman who whose life was taken I think that's how he got a hold of it and then he sent me the fact simil um I will uh put it up on the screen so you can see what it looks like as far as the PDF that you can download that's uh we re um laid it out just to make it consistent with the format of the other PDFs and to make it easier to read but I will put the original fa simile on the screen so you can just get a taste of the authentic look I actually have it printed out right here and that's what I'm I'm going to read from the from the fim okay by the grace of God 20th of kliv 5732 Brooklyn New York right that's the it's uh 1972 or it's uh could be the last months of 1971 probably it's not yet 1972 Mrs etel Rosen 10513 Cali met Drive Silver Spring mer marn 2091 blessing and greeting I'm receipt of your letter in which you write about the tragedy in the family okay I I said already what that tragedy was her daughter was murdered needless to say I have heard and been informed about it that is very interesting by the way just that that EBA says needless to say not only that EBA says I already was informed about it but needless to say like I don't even have to tell you but I'm just letting you know I guess in case it provides you any comfort or whatever the case may be but that EB is saying it's like it's an obvious thing that I already know about it which is interesting to me okay it is of course difficult to alleviate the shock of such a tragedy by mere words right so basically the Deb is already saying that you know there's a certain shock of the tragedy I think nowadays people you know 2025 people will talk about trauma right that the body keeps the score right there's certain things that you can't just talk your way out of it's not in the brain you can't just reframe it with your brain your body is actually in shock so you know pretty much what the I is saying here is that with mere words words aren't going to like take away the shock like there's a certain because it wasn't just the the the loss of a of a loved one it was in a violent way in a in a in a shocking violent horrific way so the words don't take away the shock okay okay however I wish to emphasize one basic Point what which must always be remembered namely that God is the Creator and Master Of The World At Large and of each and every individual in particular although God's ways are inscrutable meaning we can't really understand God's ways we must nevertheless firmly believe that there is a purpose in everything and also some hidden good however difficult it is to see or understand okay okay so again this is not to take away the shock but it is a perspective that when you're ready to start to try to view this in any particular way one has to take into account this idea of hus basically is what the rebba is saying okay so that's the first point the rebba points out that somehow there is some type of sense to the senselessness even if it's not something that the human mind can ever wrap itself around a further basic and most important point to remember is that the soul is eternal and that it has an existence independent of the body which in which it inhabits only for a brief period of its sojourn on this Earth there's some type of a correction here I don't know if it's the dea's own pen Mark but it looks like per perhaps the word a is removed and oh maybe it says the on top of a which would make sense which it inhabits only for the brief period of its souljour on Earth that makes more sense that the soul is in a body how long because it exists independently of the body but it exist it exists in the body for the brief yeah that makes more sense the brief period of its sojourn on this Earth or like they say we're not human beings having a spiritual experience we Are Spiritual Beings having a human experience that's an important concept that the soul did not begin its existence with embodiment and it does not end its existence with emod with the with the end of embodiment it is therefore not only a matter of religious Faith but also of common sense I love that ju position it's not just a matter of faith of religious Faith but also of Common Sense that the life of the Soul cannot be affected by any physical interference nor can it be interrupted by a bullet and the like okay that I was being very specific about the nature of the incident an act of physical violence can only affect the Soul's connection with the body but not the soul itself when I read this I was struck by the similarity with a letter that's in the igis a Hebrew letter in the igis It Was Written actually to a well-known person to arel Chiron who was a general at the time it was right it was it was about a year after The Six Day War which is where he sort of became a well-known public figure um the letter to Chiron is in the igus in volume 25 in and it's letter Tess Shin alif meaning 9,3 from so you're talking about um what the The Six Day War was in C of uh Kion so this is 3 four months later meaning at the beginning of yeah the beginning of the new year uh after that summer arel chiron's son died in an accident at home and that EBA wrote him consolations and it's a very interesting letter because there that EBA unpacks the ham Yim traditional words of comfort that we say and uh first of all the Reb Begins the letter by telling shiron that it was very heartening to see the public pictures the publicized pictures of you putting on F at the coil remember this was 1967 is when Jewish people were able again to access the kovi the Western Wall so the debba says it was very heartening to see a picture of you wearing fill in front of the Western Wall and then the debba mentions the idea of hok which is the MERS of Zion in Jerusalem which means over the destruction of the temple and sort of jux toos with the fact that Chiron was photographed in front of the destru the destroyed the ruins of the temple which sometimes we forget the Western Wall is a is is a ruin it's a it's a remnant of of a destroyed building um Alo one has to tear Creo has to Rend one's garments when one sees the Mak and mikdash the site of the the Holy Temple in such a state whether you do or you don't you have to ask your local Orthodox Rabbi but uh the point is it's a it's a site of Destruction so um in that letter to shiron the reab writes it's interesting that we mention uh a V in um comforting an individual about an individual loss so the Reb says one thing to learn from that is there is no individual loss that we as a Jewish people are united we're one entity one organism and there's no such thing as a private loss of one family it's all just like we we all mourn the destruction of the temple we all mourn the loss that that an individual family suffers God forbid the other thing is uh the says three points second point is that just as we know that mhia will come and rebuild the BD so do we know there will be will be reunited we will be reunited with our loved ones who uh who have passed on and the third thing is and that this is why I'm thinking about it here in conjunction with this letter the third point is that although the Babylonians and later the Romans were given permission to destroy the physical structure of the temple that does not do anything to the spiritual power of that place the sanctity the Holiness of that place so it is only the physical structure that they had power over and were able to destroy but not the spiritual energy of the place so similarly the Reb is saying here that the act of violence an act of physical violence can only affect the Soul's connection with the body but not the soul itself right the body can be murdered and and can have its life cut short that the soul cannot be murdered the soul not only cannot be murdered the soul cannot be even affected it just continues to be what it is and it's not um assailable it is not vulnerable to any act in this physical world it remains which is such a an important idea okay it is also clear continuing here next paragraph it is also clear that the attachment and love of parents for their children are not based on the physical aspects of the body but rather on the spiritual aspects of Personality character qualities Etc such an important point you could make a whole parenting class just on that one sentence the connection between parents and their children is not a physical connection it's not that your relationship with that person is based on their physical qualities oh you're so tall you're so handsome right you're so good at uh basketball it's not based on physical qualities the connection is based on spiritual and what I the rebbit doesn't say this so I please I want to be clear I'm not like saying this is the meaning but what hit me is a concept that theba said many many times in the name of the AL which the alter writes in thees that the life of a sadic is not physical life but it's rather his AEM and Yem and amem so that the physical passing of a sadic doesn't affect the main qualities of the sadic which are spiritual qualities and therefore they remain in full force and if anything they're even stronger because they're no longer contained by bodily limitations so that it doesn't say that here but in my mind it was such an interesting parallel that what's the connection of of the tal to thead it's a spiritual connection so the cessation of the Tad's physical life doesn't interrupt that and if anything it can even facilitate a greater connection so similarly possibly similarly that EBA is saying that the connection of parents to their children is not a physical thing it's not based on the child's physical qualities but their spiritual qualities in other words all the things which are lasting and are not terminated by the Soul's departure from the body there is this difference however okay now having said that there is a difference we're not going to pretend that nothing changed there is something that changed theb is going to acknowledge it right here that the soul of a Jew always wants to do good and so long as it is connected with the body in this life it can do good for itself meaning on its own it can it wants to do good doing doing good means doing Mitzvah and as long as it has a body the soul can if it wants to do a Mitzvah it can do a Mitzvah but after departing from this world and rising to the higher world the world of Truth where its desire is to do all that is good and holy is even greater see ironically now this Soul's out of a body it wants to do good even more than it wanted to do before but not being any more encumbered by a physical body it can no longer do good deeds in this world for itself so it has an increased appetite for doing good but but it can't do it anymore when it had a body all it has to do is want to do a Mitzvah so go do a Mitzvah who's stopping you when it doesn't have a body it wants to do a Mitzvah uh but it has no body how's it supposed to do a Mitzvah so there what what therefore what happens but must depend upon those near and dear ones left behind especially parents to do all the Mitzvah and Saka Etc which it would have done in other words in addition to all the good that the parents and relatives of The Departed Soul do in fulfillment of their own obligations they now have the obligations and both obligations and meaning it's a it's an obligation it's a duty but it's also a it's a privilege to do a little quotes around little a little more on account and in behalf and for Theus of the dear departed Soul so something did change what changed is that the soul can no longer do what it wants to do which is to do good here in this world but that's where you come in and you are going to act as the arms and legs of that soul and do the things that it wants to do the soul which is now in the higher World derives great satisfaction from what is done for it in in terms of Torah and mitzvas and is very grateful for it though it cannot directly convey this gratitude when I read this line I was also reminded of a story um I think it's in to know and to care story about a from from Yim who was waiting for Yus and he saw someone in front of him a rich man who looked very very agitated go into Yus and when this rich man came out of Yus he looked like his load had been had had been lightened he looked like he was relieved and so theid asked this uh he asked maso actually who is this guy they said he's this wealthy guy he lost his his only son so he asked if you don't mind he asked the guy if you don't mind like I see that you came out from you hi this looking so like relieved what what happened so he said um the rebba asked me if your son went to a foreign country and you could not communicate with him and he could not could not communicate with you but you knew he was well taken care of and that he was in he was in the best condition that he could be in would you accept that and the guy says yeah I guess if I had to accept it I would accept it he say so the de says and what if I would tell were to tell you that you could even send him gifts and he would appreciate those gifts would you send him gifts would you accept that he said aha yes I would I would send him gifts and the rebba said every Mitzvah you do on his behalf all the Torah you learn on his behalf every word of prayer that you say on on his behalf those are the gifts and he appreciates them you can't communicate but you can send them gifts so I thought that was reminiscent of this okay I mean especially with the next line but the important thing is not to receive words of thanks in this case right because no communication so you're not going to hear words of thanks for the mitzvas you do on behalf of The Departed soul but to know that one is doing do the right thing yeah it's tough because you're not going to get your certified answer yes we've received your Mitzvah and high it has been counted in the Merit of this Nish you're not going to get that but you have to know that that is in indeed the case much more could be said on this subject but I trust that the above will suffice I merely will summarize you and your husband because this was written to the the mother but it's apparently also for the husband you and your husband should be permeated with the idea of the eternity of the Soul right that the sensation of physical embodiment does not change the soul and permeated also I love this word permeated like not just to know it but to really absorb be fully conscious mindful of this idea and permeated also with the idea that in in addition to your own Good Deeds right you got to still do you know you got to still do your own Good Deeds put your uh oxygen masks on first right uh you now have to do a little more the dev says little this is the second time the dev says little like I guess not to make it intimidating like just a little more a little more to do a little more in behalf of the soul of your dear departed daughter and that if you should do this with devotion and inspiration and that you should do this with devotion and inspiration in the full knowledge that it is a great for your departed daughter peace to her soul it's important that is saying here that you should know you should know what is happening when you're doing this little more that this is a benefit for her right so the soul is eternal the soul continues the main relationship and connection between parents and children is a spiritual connection that hasn't changed and you can do things for her which she will deeply appreciate may God grant that henceforth you should have only good news to report the kind of good news that is revealed and obvious because at the beginning of the letter that deba said that there's hidden good in everything but that EBA is concluding the letter by saying you shouldn't have the type of good that you have to go searching for you have to figure out how maybe it's good or you have to use your amuna to believe that it's good even though you can never see the goodness no no you should have the good that's easy to identify as good with blessing that Dev his holy signature in English PS although the letter has been written to you in reply to your letter it is of course intended also for all those with whom you may wish to share it and to whom it may hopefully be of benefit I'm sorry if I'm getting slightly emotional but I've personally seen you guys don't know all the stories that I know every time we do one of these classes I get Communications from people calls texts emails about ways in which these letters are just relevant in such an uncanny way where they really feel that there's a a real communication going on here and now when you explicitly have the PS that EBA is saying to the recipient of the letter that this is not just for you it's for anyone you want to share the letter with and of course we know that the mother shared this letter with my friend Reb Yakov who shared it with me to share with you so am I taking Liberties to say that the Deb is writing here explicitly in this letter that this letter is for us it's for anybody that the original recipient wanted to share it with and by a chain of one person knowing another person and now it's being shared with you and if B you're hearing this right now um I guess this is this is for you okay um and uh we'll see you tomorrow night for another letter