Tisha B'av: The Danger of Fear - Rabbi Benzion Klatzko

[Music] I was looking at my post this morning and one person wrote, "I'm crying bitter tears that I don't know why I'm crying bitter tears." I think that echoes the feeling of many of us. If you are older and you've been through one tisha after the next, it just seems like it comes around like Purum and Pes and Kaneka and here's tishab and nothing has changed or has it? I want to point something out. It's an obvious point, but it occurred to me this year. And the point is the following. While it's amazing to be inspired and a one-time shot, a one-time event, Judaism does not believe in that. We don't believe in instant bursts of inspiration that have the ability to last. Rather, Judaism says that for every pe for every moment of inspiration, you need preparation, there has to be longevity. Look at every yumtove that exists on the Jewish calendar. There is no sudden burst of inspiration that exists. Shivus while it's only two days is preceded by 49 days of inspiration. Rashana is preceded by an L where we blow chauffear and we recite. Even Khan is your eight days of growing in that connection. Purim is Pesar goes out of its way to say that 30 days before Pes you're supposed to get into the mode of Pesak. There is no such thing as a sudden burst of inspiration in Judaism. It doesn't work like that. Great change doesn't work like that. Great change happens when we prepare for it and when we try to think and we play proper mind games. or as my son-in-law calls it mind chess where we think okay how do I want to feel today what deep well of inspiration and sorrow am I dipping into I will tell you personally that this year was the first year that I went to the camps not once but twice with two different groups I had never been to Poland That's part of the well that I'm dipping into, walking next to a gas chamber that half a million of our men, women, and kind passed away and with the word Shmay on their lips. Those are my inspiration. But if we just come to tishabove and we expect to be inspired one day and then the next day it disappears. That's not going to happen. Even tishabove is preceded by three weeks which then becomes more intense with nine days and then and then the actual day we need to prepare. So what is the mindset that we're going to prepare with on this tishabove? And I'm going to tell you something that I've been thinking about this year in general. I don't speak about things that I'm not working on personally. I find it disingenuous, but this is something that I've had to face this year more than any other. As it was mentioned, I do have the website shabbat.com and we try through that website to connect people for shabas all over the world to make shidim. And the site has grown. But this year I was faced with maybe a realization that maybe the entire side is misguided. Maybe I've missed the boat entirely. Because I realized that when I look at the people who host for Shabas, they really are theim. They really are the individual. They are the few and many many people sign up out of curiosity and they use it to connect. But to actually say yes, it is theim, it is the individuals. And I sat down with a person who develops social media websites. I sat down with him on a mozzabus and I asked him, "Did I miss the boat? Are we not actually the people that we purport to be? Are we not as inviting and as welcoming and as full of full of sympathies, full of empathy? Is that not really us? Do we talk the talk and yet not actually walk the walk? Are we no better than others when it comes to extending ourselves for the widow and the orphan and the divorced and the kid at risk and the recent bal who are we? The entire site was built on the premise that we are a nation that wants to do nothing more than day and night. Maybe that premise is misguided. Maybe it's a mistake. Maybe that's not who we are. And so I began to speak with people. And I asked, "Do you invite? You're on the site. Do you welcome people?" And their answers are, "Well, I once welcomed somebody and they were a little strange, so I never invited again." "Oh, I did it, but who knows what they are, so I never did it." And I was thinking, well, maybe I'm the one who's crazy. Maybe we should be nervous. Maybe we should be scared. Maybe we shouldn't swing our doors open for CL Israel. And then Tishabove came along. And I realized no in actuality there is a grave error and a grave that we must face if we are to become the am that we purport to be that we that we advertise ourselves to be. You know everything in this world boils down to one word. Everything. Every test, every challenge boils down to one word and that word is amuna. Amuna barashmarouch and relie and others who have taken the concept of amuna and brought it to the forefront. We are finally speaking about it in open terms. Every tadic, every all of the aos and the imos were challenged with amuna. All the way back to will you eat from the tree of amuna? I said don't. Noah, you see the waters coming? I said go in. Do you have amuna or are you going to wait until the waters drown you? Noah failed. Amuna, he said, "Hashem, when am I going to have children?" Amuna, believe that Jacob is supposed to be the son. Believe when I bring you up to the to the altar that there's a reason you have to have a muna. Jacquino, have a choosing you. Don't worry about what love does to you or don't worry about what Asov does to you. Yoseph, have a muna. You're being sold. trust cloud Israel. I said you're going to be a great nation and here you are slaves for hundreds of years. Amuna, amuna, amuna, amuna. It's all about amuna. So I'm thinking, what is the opposite of amuna? Faithlessness. What's the opposite of amuna? And I realized and when I realized what it was, I saw it throughout kazal. And if you are a deep thinking person, this is going to make you smile and it could even change your life. You know what the opposite of amuna is? It's fear. Fear is the opposite of amuna. Fear of change. Fear that there won't be bread on the table tomorrow. Fear that the almighty is not looking out for you as much as you want. That the almighty has rejected you and doesn't care about you. Fear is the opposite of everuna. And that's why not only did the have to battle amuna, but they had to battle fear. Ali, don't have fear. Don't be afraid. Alira, you're going to see that things are not going to go your way. You want to sit bashalva. You want to sit and you want to relax. Don't be afraid. It's all about fear. If you could overcome your fear of Asov, if you could overcome your fear of Lavan, if you could overcome your fear about the fact that you lost your son, then and only then will you be the father of the nation. You argued with me for seven days. Finally, you said, "I can't speak. Why are you sending me to par says Hashem?" Don't be afraid. Aaron will be your prophet. Aaron will speak for you. Says that if I've been able to overcome, he actually could have said to Hashem, "Hashem, don't make me I stutter, I stammer, I have a slur when I speak. Hashem, please take that away." And the Raan said if he had asked for that, he would have gotten it. He just didn't ask. So he didn't get it. Cloud Israel, you're brought into the the Midbar again and again. You're afraid there won't be water. You're afraid you're going to be attacked by the Egyptians and by the mayaveim and the the the Amayim. You're afraid of you're afraid of B. You're afraid. You're afraid. You're going to overcome fear. And if you don't overcome fear, you know what's going to happen? You're going to follow the moragum and you're going to end up in the midbar. fear is the great challenge. What I realized was that the reason that people don't invite for shabas, the reason that people don't make shim, the reason that people are afraid to actualize their god-given inherent potential is because of fear. What if? What if? I'd rather stay safe than sorry. I'm going to tell you something that R of Cook said. I mentioned this a week ago in Beth Gabrielle. It's so beautiful. People said, "Rabbi, aren't you afraid? You have so many people over your house. You don't know who they are and where they're coming from. Aren't you afraid?" And I said, "I'm vigilant. I keep my eyes open, but that won't stop me from inviting." Never. You know why? Because if I stop inviting then the next week that almana that divorcy that baluva that single who's been single for such a long time and every week they struggle you know what's going to happen you know what's going to happen they will have no place so I will overcome my fear and I will continue to invite RV cook says the following he says how is it how is it that were not scared to reach out to a Baltuva or to reach out to somebody who is not from or who even has bad needles, how is it that we're not afraid that we're going to become like them? And he says the following. He says that when we focus on their negative, it will then make us negative. When we're afraid of them, when we're afraid of their negative traits, that means we're focusing on their negative traits and we're afraid of them. So therefore, he says, then you're not protected anymore. The very act of being afraid who you invite for Chavez will make that a danger for you. But if instead of focusing on their negativity, if instead of being afraid, you say, "I'm going to welcome you and Hashem loves you. who hashem loves me and I'm going to focus on the goodness that you have says rakook only their positive will be mashia on on you only their goodness will have an effect on you it is the being afraid that becomes the danger I want to tell you being the first speaker that the organizations that are involved in in this program had a great reason to fear. You know why? Because it's technology and for years we have heard that technology is evil and therefore stay away from it at all costs. And there's no question that technology can be dangerous just like a telephone can be dangerous and the printed word can be dangerous as well. And yet by being afraid, how much Torah would have not been, watched, listened, learned from, even you who are watching this on the computer, you owe a great deal of thanks to those who were not afraid. It is fear that stops us from becoming who we need to be. every great organization, every important movement started by someone who said, "I'm not gonna be afraid. Yes, I may fail. Yes, people may yell and scream, but the upside is I can change the world." And Hashem does not want us to be afraid. Hashem wants us to have amuna. And amuna is the opposite of fear. One of the stories that inspired me growing up, one of the great stories was from a book All for the Boss. And one of the stories had Rabbi YaKob Yoseph Herman who used to teach public school children after school. He used to get them, get them together, give them little treats and teach them Torah, teach them laws. And one day, it was on a Friday night and a man comes banging at his door. He opens up the door and there's a guy standing there and his face is red and he says, "Are you Rabbi Herman?" And he says, "Yes, I am." He says, "Did you teach my child after school? Did you teach my child about keeping kosher?" Rabbi Herman said, "I believe I did." And the man said, "Do you know what my child did? He came to the kitchen. He took all of our dishes, my wedding dishes, and he said, "They were not kosher." And he took them and he threw them on the floor and he shattered those dishes. Those were priceless dishes. I am going to shoot you now. And he took out of his pocket a gun. He brandished the gun and he held it to Rabbi Herman's chest. And Rabbi Herman stared him in the eye, opened up his shirt, and said, "Go ahead, shoot." And the man looked at him, and there was a standoff. One second, two seconds, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. And the man, his hand began to shake as he held the gun. And then he put the gun down and put his face in his hands. and he began to sob and he says, "Now I know why my son listens to every word that you say because you are fearless. You do what you need to do. You change the world for your lack of fear." So many people sitting here in this room are destined for greatness. Can do great things just like a Kazak. Nobody appointed Kazak and this wonderful family to start this. Nobody did. They did it and they were fearless. And thus you are here today. And so, and there's lots of children sitting here in the room. Listen to me. Forget about the older people. They're burnt out. They think their time has come and gone. It hasn't. But they think it has. But you, the younger children here, let me tell you, you're supposed to do great things. You're supposed to don't wait for the other people to do it. My son told me yesterday, Tati, don't tell people that most people are supposed to be followers. It's only the few that are brave enough to actually change the world. Let everyone else follow in their path. Maybe, maybe he's right. I'd like to believe he's not. And even if they are, maybe there'll be someone in the room that will overcome their fear. And you know how you overcome fear? If you want to change the world, if you are Jewish and you want to change the Jewish world, there's a really good way. And the way is to stop being afraid of your fellow Jew. Rav Cook says that and loving your fellow Jew and hating your fellow Jew both come from the same shesh. They come from the same source. What does that mean? Loving and hating your fellow Jew come from the same source. What does that even mean? He says the following. He says both the lover and the hater, they want to live in a world of beauty and truth. The only difference is that the one who is involved in sinam, he is so afraid that he doesn't recognize you. You don't practice exactly like him. You don't wear the same hat as him. You don't wear the same yamaha. And therefore, there must be something lacking in truth. There must be something lacking in the beauty. And therefore, I hate you because I'm afraid of you. Love and fear come from the same source. They come from the desire of truth. The only difference between andum is whether you're afraid. You're afraid. So you look at somebody and you say they're not like me. You know there are people who are listening to this talk right now and when I mention Ruff Cook they'll take a step back. Well he was controversial. I don't want to hear. Goodbye. You know what you are? You're afraid. You're afraid because throughout Israel, throughout history, there have been many gdylum and many movements and each one brings something to the table because Hashem wouldn't allow them to exist. Hashem wouldn't allow them to thrive if they didn't. The brings something valuable, their sim and their devotion. the sardim atari. It's happening in our days. They're godless, their beauty. I have a a brother of a kakan in my he's spreading Torah, light, bright, shiny, gorgeous, smartish vad who was justar. Nearly a million people came to the Levia Ashkanazim Sadikimski great sadikim and I want to tell you it's not just them people say oh what about the modern orthodox well guess what NCSY is their movement And you know how many people have come back to Torah through NCSY and the U. You could take each movement. You could go there at Israel and see on a bus and I've seen it and if you've been on a bus you've seen it seats and in one seat you'll see two bak from Misha sitting and they've got a gumar in hand and then two seats later you see two and they've got a hands and they're learning and then two seats back you'll see two settlers they're the kibut with the white knit and they're sitting and they're learning and they're all sitting and learning Torah and they're all bas and they all love their Israel and they all love Hashem and they all love Torah and stop being so afraid. Stop being so afraid and you don't have to agree with everything. You could be a little bit humble but know that there are many hidden out there that have a be beautiful tora beautiful mahalakim to offer. We have to appreciate that it's fear that's pulling us apart. It's fear that's not allowing cla to bring Mashiach in our days. We don't know who Mashiach is going to be. Will he be avarti? Will he be a kassid? Will he be an Ashkanazi? Will he be a settler in the gush? Will he be a temani, an Iraqi, a bab, a satmer? We don't know. And what's going to happen when that person comes and stands? What's going to happen to all the other groups who look down? Oh no, he's aarty. Mashiah is aarty. What am I going to do? Mashia is a you know what's going to happen? A bunch of people aren't going to follow Msiah because it is fear that will pull us apart. We can have our own menhugim. We can cherish our minhagim and yet value the next yid and say I love you. You are great. You bring mashiach together with me. You learn Torah, you teach Torah, you keep Shabas. Few years ago, there was a CD that came out from uh Journeys, old Journey CD, wonderful CDs. And in that CD, they sang. There were Ashkanazi who lived on two floors in Brooklyn. And they never had anything to do with each other. And they used to sing their own samirs. And once they went to each other's house and turns out the Mayadidus was exactly the same but just one was singing with a one was sing with Ashkanazi that's it you know by by Davening people Ashkanaz they start [Music] with people they start with it's different we're different we can't marry each other. We can't be with each other because we're so different. But you know what? They meet together when they say the words. When they get up to those words, they come together in harmony. It's a simple lesson. What I'm telling you, if we learned this lesson not to be afraid, we would do a little bit more kiru. We wouldn't be afraid. Oh no, they're going to be my family. I can't bring them into my house. Who knows what they're going to say? Who knows what they're going to do? You're right. You don't know. So, you got to take a chance. Use the R of cookook method. Look at the good in them. This way, you'll be protected. And those of you who are signing up for the Shabas project, I love it. That's great. But don't just make it one week. Remember, oneshot things are not Jewish. oneshot inspirations is not the Jewish malik. There's not a yontiff that it's a one-shot deal. Every single yontiff has a a prelude. Every single yontiff has an introduction, has a warm-up period. Every yontiff has a lasting inspiration. And you know, if you want to join the Shabas project, you want to to stay inspiring, you sign up for a Shabbat.com. You sign up for a Torah anytime. You learn more about Chabas. You go and inspire people and you bring them into your house. And stop being so afraid. Stop being afraid. Classel, you've got the best player on your team. You know, in basketball when they used to have Michael Jordan on their team, they felt invincible. They had LeBron James, they felt invincible. Well, Aavdo, an infinite number of Abdullah. You know who we have on our team? We've got the team. We We've got the predestined team. So, we don't have to be worried. We don't have to be afraid. I have a friend here in the audience. I'm not going to embarrass him, but I'm pointing to him to your ear. And he's not afraid. He makes initiative after initiative. Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he doesn't, but he tries. It is by trying and not worrying about failing and by not being afraid that we will come to love each other that we'll be able to start initiatives and we'll be able to bring the gulus. I give you each time to stop being afraid of the Jewish people. Stop being afraid of Kali Israel. Stop being afraid. Look at the fellow Jew and say, "You know what? I may not practice like you but the way you practice is valid in Hashem's eyes and I love you for it and I support you and we will have and when we have there's no question that next year instead of beel we will be we will be in in arid during Msiah's times.