Tisha B'Av Program 2023,

[Music] passed away what if a student began his husband with the posseque to inform the people about the impending destruction of the base of English but he did not tell to say the word the base of English is going to be destroyed instead the Haskell was told to stand in front of the people and to let out a very bit of sigh and when the people would see that they would understand they would know that there's terrible news that would cause everyone's Hearts to melt and everyone's hands to become weak the students said we see from here that there are no words that can adequately describe the enormous tragedy of the Hogan abayas similarly said the student with regard to his review cannot adequately describe the feelings of the loss that we have in our case in our generation in our time unfortunately we also cannot feel the loss the enormous loss of the base of Magnus but it's not because it's something that we experience and the loss is so enormous that we can't put it into words words would limit the feelings of our loss it's just the opposite to the contrary unfortunately we've never seen the tremendous Nissim the tremendous Miracles that occurred that existed in the base Amigos just like if you would try to describe to an 18th century person they couldn't yearn for electric light bulbs or for air conditioning on a very hot sultry summer's day it's not something that they experience they cannot comprehend and therefore in our case the base of English no one has ever seen the Nissan no one ever heard the abused his name emerged from the lips of the Korean Kippur no eyes experience when client Israel prostrated to the ground and all together as one said Baruch we cannot fathom what it means that the ability is not with us meaning that the presence of the screener is not here with us it's not something that's revealed for everybody to see so the question is we have to be able to rebuild the base to make this how do we do that if we cannot feel the presence of the ablestone if the abuse's presence is hidden in nature and material things in the way the world the normal operations of the world how do we how can we actually feel the loss how can we feel that the abuses presence is here to be able to connect and to rebuild the base of English truth is that with the base of English was standing the feeling of the abuses presence was so significant it was so vivid it was so real it was so clear that it inspired when people would go to you they would feel the abuses presence and they would want to do sugar for a various that they may have done that's how Vivid that's how real the tangible feeling of the abuses presence was in the world and now unfortunately with the destruction of the basement gosh our awareness and our relationship who has suffered it's weakened the ABC's presence is very hidden from us it's hidden in nature we cannot connect to him our relationship with shrouded in the confusing events of the physical world of the material world and of the natural phenomena and despite the fact that there's so much learning Hashem in today's generation and today's day and there's so much Hashem going on we still suffer because we cannot connect we have difficulty connecting with the ABC's presence as it was so vivid in the time when the basement stood a recent article written in December of 2022 by Rabbi Simon Russell who's an LCSW and he said based on his actual experience treating people there's a new phenomena he describes it inert Israel he said it didn't exists in Lakewood it exists in Brooklyn and in other places and he talks about the mostly 60 of today's students they are the students in the middle they're not the ones excelling they're in the middle and therefore they're still from they still keep Shabbos they don't do tattoos he writes in his article and they aren't angry or rebellious the problem is that there's no passion there's no sense of mission or purpose in their spirituality in their roughness in fact he's calling the phrase he's called him on the Derek but uninspired Jews so we we suffer the fact that we do not see the Vivid presence of the abusive screener so the question is how do we recapture that and in order to build the basement because it's something that we're going to have to experience how are we able to do that how can we rebuild the base of Magnus if it's something that we do not feel so I'd like to share with you an idea a thought and the thought is about when Slimer Miller built the base Amigos he obviously is the one who built it but in several places you find that daughter Mella has associated with the building of the base Amigos and the question is how could that be the one that built it is the question he Sanctified the base of Indus was he Madness did he sanctify only the tiles of the base of the floor or was he Magnus that they made this all through the ground of the place where the base of understood that's a very puzzling question that the Gomorrah asked because as I just mentioned the one that built the base of English so what's the tomorrow's question when governor was magdish he's not the one that built the base amigdus and that's Tyson's question answers that it's true built the physicality because of the base of Ignus what does that mean so I once served from a restaurant reisman the following explanation there are two parts to the base of Indus there's the physical part the stones the beams the curtains the tiles of the base Amigos that's the hitsonius the outer part of the base of English and then there's a second Paul the second part of the base of English is the premius the essence the caducea that's devotion the longing the CP silly Yeshua did you long for the return of the Gullah of the basement you find a similar concept when the third base submitage will be rebuilt in one place it's masma it seems that will come in our samayam and the other place it appears that we have to build it that's a contradiction do we build it or does something that comes from heaven and the answer is I believe with the saying you side that the premius will come in our samayan the caducea will come down yes we will build the Chinese we will build the outer whatever is necessary to rebuild the stones and the building of the base amigdus but the premius the essence delayed the heart the desire the longing the yearning the connection that we have with the screener that will be something the screener will be brought down Minnesota in our day and age we also can connect with the premiers of the screener if you will we can do that by connecting with the concept of the less Posse is we're asking the Avista that we should do sugar and we should connect we should be inspired in our sugar and return to him like it was all the way in the beginning with the abuses presence was Vivid was real was literally almost tangible if we go back to another time in Jewish history where we also have to do children you know what that was I'm referring to the time of Purim in the time of Purim de gamara says something that is very astonishing you know what enabled Claudia Israel you know what inspired Clyde Shelton at the time of the story of Purim it was not the fact that all the Nivea had prophecy destruction if we didn't do chuva then a VM or then removed his ring the ring with the Signet that if he would have sealed the document then Homan hirosha would have been able to have to Solemn start to destroy Israel when Claud Israel saw that then they did chuva so the obvious question is the navient they will believe totally and completely everybody knew that what the novem said was with ruach and yet Claudia show was not inspired to do true but based on what they heard from the Nivea there was no doubt that it was true but yet they weren't inspired they weren't moved to go to the next level of caduce and to connect and to do chuva when were they able when were they inspired when they experience removing that ring from his finger about to seal the letter and to seal the fate of the Jewish people that's when they realize you know something we need to change course we need to do something different and therefore they did Hashem we know the rest of the story it's true we don't have the Nissan that existed during the base of Midas when it was here when Claudia saw Jews would go to Salim and they were so taken so inspired they were in awe of the nation that they heard that they saw that they experienced and they wanted to do Chua for any other barriers that they have we do not have that we are not to be able to see to witness the nation but we can and we are to experience out of ordinary situations that we can see the abused his presence you know when things happen run-of-the-mill the usual then we chalk it up to the usual it's nature we we lose sight of the avista's presence we know intellectually theoretically runs the world but that's not enough for a thought to get someone to change his behavior for the better it must be something that is when we experience the out of ordinary protests that's the first step in starting to reconnect with the abusive protest and his presence to start to get closer in our relationship to be able to go beyond just doing mitzvah's doing it by Road it's a mystery true but there's so much more we are able to do and if we want to be able to rebuild the base of migdash we have to be able to connect to be able to feel what it means that the abuse that is present in our world and again we cannot feel the Nissan to that but the Milo of the niece and the advantage of the nation was it was out of the ordinary it's almost like it's the wow moment something happens and you stop that in your traction you go wow wow did you see that we can have a glimpse into that experience we can feel it to the degree that it's possible and it is very possible that so-called well moment as well when we experience out of the ordinary situations so I'd like to share two suggestions by God Island throughout the recent let's call it 70 80 years as to how we can connect with this idea of connecting with the avish's presence is and again if we can connect with the natural phenomena we get up every morning and we say the breakfast in the morning and we have food to eat and all those wonderful Assad that we are able to experience but unfortunately gets lost in the natural running of the day but if we can connect with us mama she can literally see the Yad Hashem you stop that in the attraction you say wow did you see that may not be an S but it's definitely out of the ordinary it can move us it can Inspire us to say that was the other side there were so many stories I'd like to share a few of them with you the first one is about a man who goes to a kosher food Expo and he's got coffee beans that he wants to show he wants to be able to portray what's that's hispanosa he goes to the kosher food Expo and literally nobody signs up to be a customer of this very deflating feeling he's wasted time money effort I didn't get anywhere so he goes in his car and he heads home and he's going in New York City on the FDR Drive a very heavily traveled Highway and he looks for the nearest gas station because he realizes he's low on fuel in his car and when he looks away for that moment the car in front of him slows down and he unfortunately crashes into that car Hashem nobody is hurt walks out of the car it's a luxury car and the woman driving in the car in front of him comes out and said you see what she did he said the I'm sorry it's my fault no problem we'll call the insurance companies let's just give it a couple of minutes until the cops come so the woman says to him listen you know you were going rather fast he said I know my my mind wasn't in it and I just came from a kosher food Expo and I I it was I didn't get anywhere I didn't make any business I feel so deflated and she happens to say to him I happen to be a representative of several very large supermarkets would you like to show me what your product looks like not believing like what's happening he goes to the trunk of his car and he takes out the products he shows her the coffee beans she likes it so much and she says you know what I'd like to buy these as representative of the big supermarkets that I represent it's flabbergasted he goes to the Food Expo and nothing this is a wild out of the ordinary experience it's not an s accidents do happen people do speak after crashing one car into the other but it's out of the ordinary it's not your usual occurrence and what are the odds that the person that you happen to crash into happens to be someone that can help you out in your panosa the makeup to meet in our office the next day he goes down there they sign a contract what a wonderful protest moment we can't say no that's nature it happens you know what I mean on its own by itself it's a coincidence this is the avist working to get him hispanosa another story was the future Alta of Nevada becomes engaged at the age of 18. now he wanted to learn but unfortunately his future father-in-law is nifter and he's left now to see to it that there's Panacea for his mother-in-law her eight children and his wife so he has to go to work at the age of 27 he takes a trip to the town of Israel salanta he goes to memo on a business trip he together with hundreds of people are descending from the car from the railroad car and at the other end of the station the Israel Bistro salanta standing there you saw solantha's eyes start to focus on this individual running he has a reddish beard and he's running with his Weirs under his arms a lot that goes over them and says where are you running young man so the young man television I'm running to make a panosa and he tells it what happened I'm the one who's off Roy I'm responsible for my mother-in-law for my wife and for the eight children I have to make a panosa service looks at him and says it's true you have to make a panosa you have to tend to your needs you're right but you have greater needs after 120 years of a less for eternity you will be there you will be living there longer than you will be living here and therefore what about those needs those stalk words pierced Rabbi Joseph's heart literally to the Core and he resolved at that time to attend review in the great synagogue and mammal and after listening to 13 schmoozing 13 lectures who made a momentous decision that affected thousands in Clause Israel he closed his business he put aside a certain significant amount of money towards his family needs and he joined Ruby Soul salantis coilover learning literally 18 hours a day from that he became the Alton of navadik who literally positively affected thousands upon thousands if you do imagine that it shows a lot that happens to be at the rail station at the same time that the train happens then he happens to focus on one individual another story the future has some save the moisture safer is eager to get married so they look into a certain young lady and he would like to get engaged to her she's a very fine character and he also figures out he'll be able to continue learning Toyota and it becomes a horse and his mother is not for the the mother finds out that there are certain facts that they were unaware of number one she's a widow number two she was older than her son the future she didn't want it not only that some Cyprus Rebellion Robin Austin Adler and the huffler two of moisture sofa's Rebellion were also against it for other reasons he writes the letter to ramnost and he waits and he waits and he waits for the response doesn't get a response he's confused he's uncertain what should he do he goes ahead with the sheriff he receives a return letter from his ready urging him to terminate the sitter but the future because I'm safer saw the protest he was already married and the fact that the letter came too late was a semen assigned to him that what he did is something that he had to do another story the small grinderman once traveled to collect money for the Raven Yeshiva and they went to a wealthy individual who was going to give a lot of money and they decided to stay a little bit longer to count the money and by doing so they got to the train station a little bit late and they had to wait they missed their train back to rather than they had to wait four hours what do we do representative said don't worry with the abused his help it'll be fine sure enough 10 minutes later here comes the Train the train comes back the train that left which they missed comes back why so they used to conducted the conductor said there was a junk show where I was supposed to go left and for some strange inexplicable reason the train went right so I had to turn around and come back miracle time says no when a Jew does things with Shema for the sake of heaven without any personal motives he is guaranteed that I could debug will arrange all the possible circumstances for his benefit even if it means getting a train to come back these are some of the let's call it Vivid situations of the Avis house protests and when we see them it registers at the time wow that's Yara said while the train comes back the guys in the accident now has this panasa some Cipher marries the color and then it turns out the rebbe said no but he was already married these are situations that are Beyond Comprehension they're not niece him but they are beyond the usual day-to-day phenomena and therefore we can more clearly connect with the presence of the Avista it means that the Avista runs the world and one can connect and say wow I'm going to elevate my ruachness when we clearly see the arasan then that inspires us but the problem is when these moments occur at the moment we might connect but then we lose sight of them so I'd like to share with you another idea in 1984 ramosha Feinstein pravyakov kamonesky both wrote The Following they advocated that a person should keep a personal journal to document instances of protests in their life and by doing so they'll be able to go back and to re-read it and to live it and to experience it once again and they weren't the only ones who made this suggestion levinstein would suggest to his young daughters in fact he would incentivize them he would give them an incentive keep a personal Journal whatever something happens that you recognize where you experience where you are witness to Yad Hashem write it down keep track of it and you know what will happen so I'm old enough to remember the following you may not be I remember when Polaroid camera came out you can open take a picture remember cameras I don't know if we have that nowadays anymore you take a camera you take a picture you open up the back and the film would be there they called it the 60-second land Polaroid Land Camera and you would leave it there for 60 seconds and you know what would happen during those 60 seconds the picture would develop a little piece a little dot another Dot and after a while all the dots converge and you have a very clear picture this is that idea write a personal Journal of the situations where you experience by doing so it'll become one two three stories four stories they don't have to be long they don't have to be Miracles just something out of the ordinary you happen to have met someone that's an example of the arasan extraordinary situations keep track of that you will start to be connected with the presence of the abuse there on a day-to-day basis you'll be able to accomplish to a limited degree but it's a start to be able to see out of them similar to what Claudia show was able to see when they went up to saliva the base of Memphis was standing because it will need sin and it was the feeling of everyone together we can do something very similar and I will say that it's not going to be enough how can we build a base Amigos with experiences like that even as only the start the foundation the beginning of connecting or being aware of the arashem so you know something people make a mistake our job is not to accomplish our job is to do to the famous story with the Mr meliora of destler in 1939 the summer of 39 Rob destler's wife and daughter goes to Lithuania to visit the family and we know what happened World War II broke out Rob Deshler was unable to be to see his wife and daughter for six years and he wondered why they able to doing this why am I able to be alive and but separated from them and two years later in 1941 rub destler gets a letter his letter is from rub dog's Ryan said and he has a novel idea the letter says I'd like to start a kylo during World War II in England where there are bombs falling the letter was sent to 22 rabbanim 18 of them did not respond three of them responded very nice idea I'd love to do it but hey you know there's a war going on is the only one that responds thank you so much of thinking of me when do we begin we can make did not think it would succeed that's not the reason why he wanted to participate rap Tesla would later say that and he would frequently quote his great grandfather would be so solante and here's what he would say Darkness Upton ish basically what that means in English is our job is not to accomplish our job is to do our job is not to be among the naysayers and say well so what am I going to I'm going to keep a journal of myself how are they going to build a base of English each individual has their ability to do what Their Accra is what their responsibility we need to do imagine if somebody says we want to build something it'll be beautiful whatever it will say yes I want to pitch in can you imagine if I told you the base of me the snail that's right today it's outside and they need people to contribute we would run I want to give this I want to have a yacht in the basement but it's no I want to have a yard well guess what we can have a yacht as well now but you'll ask well that actually be the building of the base of Indus but I mentioned before the toastness there are two parts to the base Amigos there is the stones the curtains the tiles that's not our job it's true then claw Israel will build it but as individuals as individuals part of the collectively Israel our job each individual responsibility like rub destler said why he participated in the coil in the time of War he did not join the naysayers he said yes I'm going to do what I can do quoting his great-grandfather the haliger'll be so salante because our job is not to accomplish that's the Aegis the job our job is to do I want to leave you with one last point if you think that we cannot literally do and even accomplish when making a mistake foreign Worthy so even even if the generation is the Avista will bring them to children and therefore once that happens from the highest place can you imagine we do our part and we build the premius we start to connect with the abuses presence it's true we don't have Nation we don't we're not Judah to Miracles and it's true the other end of the spectrum the typical day-to-day situations are difficult to connect to cdavis's presence he's hiding the screen but we can connect with the out of the ordinary wow moments and we can keep a journal of that and similar to what happened in Vanessa Purim where Claudia because they were inspired when they saw King ahas Vegas about to sign the letter that decreed to annihilate Israel we can experience our own experiences why do we have to have melancholica hormone a difficult King that will push us to do Cuba out of fear let's Elevate ourselves let's Inspire ourselves to be connected with the abusive presence with these out of ordinary experiences that each one of us that's right you're driving in the car you met someone you heard something all these are yadasem Hashem if we will keep a journal so we do not lose sight of the moments and we start to connect the dots like the old Polaroid Land Camera we can make a beautiful picture when the dots connect it'll be the picture of the yadashem of the avish's presence it'll be as close as we can to experience the Nissim that they had in the big doors and then that's what's it will elevate a level of the Moon something that we feel the ultimate Center of your body is the ultimate amuna and that's because and with the fact that hopefully we will be the doors says on the shamas comes from the highest place we will be able to be zoka to bring the gaula to do the tuba to connect with the English as much as is necessary and then they will say about our generation that generation they were the ones that was over to build to rebuild the basement [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey friends here is a profound and moving idea from our tradition about Toshiba on Tish above we commemorate The program-based Amigos the destruction of the temple and Jewish sovereignty incredible devastation so if we want to know how to deal with Urban a little bit a very good way to do it is to go back into Jewish history and find when is the first time destruction all of unarticulated and how do we respond to it the first time this concept comes up is when God first created the world the medrish says that it's not simply that God said let there be merely came and God said that there should be a beautiful world and a beautiful world emerged now it happened differently says the medish and biracious rabba it's also quoted in gemara that's amazing God built a world but the world wasn't good enough was destroyed built another world wasn't good enough destroyed again and again and again finally A Beautiful World emerged by yarily kimchi tave Hashem so A Beautiful World it was a good one said ah this is a good one so this Madras is very audacious what are the sages trying to tell us Shem built but it didn't come out good enough it failed so we needed to do many tries when it comes to human beings and human invention because we are limited and fallible so the road to Discovery is littered with trial and error with destruction with bad models bad prototypes you have to iterate again and again in Silicon Valley they say we pivot something you build it it's not good so you need to build again what does it mean that God couldn't get it right what what's the shot what's the meaning so in the medrish and in other places also based on the rambams the answer is very beautiful of course gods could have built the world the first time perfectly no question a human being slaquel to model our behavior on God my gods so God did not want to create a world perfect the first time and that should be the model because in our world that's never what happens in our life we build and we fail we work hard to build our own life our character our marriage and then Things Fall Apart in real life there's a Corbin you're buying you work hard to create something and then it falls apart so it could be a person is going to work hard to build it could be a business it could be something spiritual and then destruction happens mistakes are made bad things happen and then the person is full of Despair he says look such a catastrophe if we happened and and I'm guilty I can't recover from this this is going to Define me I'm trapped in the urban for the rest of my life my wrong my addiction my problem is going to Define me so what Hashem wants every human being to know is that when you build in life when you work hard to do something what is good right and then there's destruction don't give up learn from Hashem does Hashem give up now they nailed me after a corporate so if you work hard in life you want to have a certain condition in your life you want to have something beautiful and there's this failure don't give up wake up the next morning and say I'm gonna after the hormone I'm gonna be waiting again I'm going to build again I'm gonna create something new again that's very powerful that's very realistic so yes there's a moment of tragedy yes there's a singular day of Tisha above where we reflect on what went wrong but the primary thrust of yiddishka and of Tehran is to focus on how to rebuild after the urban that's what Hashem teaches us that after the hormone you have been able all of Jewish history is built on courageous daily Israel courageous Jewish leaders and also individuals who after tremendous Devastation didn't surrender to defeat but they had the courage like a lion to get up the next morning and to rebuild and there's a beautiful example in the gemara the gemara in um evamus I think it's a round of Summer tells us a very powerful story of ABI Akiva some of the story is known but some of the details are not known not so famous the Great influential mind of the second century molded so much of yiddishkaits of Jewish thought and practice he Not only was in the was he individually so great but he also raised and educated 24 000 talmudi rabi Akiva disciples who were extraordinary people and these are all the leaders of the Next Generation 24 ounce we all know to educate one child properly is very very hard so imagine the sleepless nights of rabi Akiva to educate the mechanic 24 000. should say about them that they are Kami de rabi Akiva so imagine they're they're Terror they're London unbelievable 24 000 and then suddenly tragedy struck and they all died all 24 I mean akiva's whole life's work Up in Smoke Corbin could you imagine God forbid imagine a loss of one child 24 000 tell medium that he loved that he worked for for decades all gone he wasn't 20 he wasn't 30 he wasn't 40. he wasn't 50. you know how old he was he was 80 years old when that event happened imagine the destruction that was in fact the Gomorrah says in describing this situation the whole Jewish world was devastated there was no future it was a destroyed world that they keep a woke up the next morning says and he started to walk through all of Heritage Israel searching for little little new students who we can raise and teach them Taira and yiddishkite in a way that they will be able to carry the burden which was very difficult of the Jewish people and raise the Next Generation and it says he found five Young disciplesi five and he educated them and with these five talmudim he rebuilt all of Jewish history if you look into the Madras if you look in free you can't turn a page without bumping in to some of these tell me them in fact all of halacha basically follows because that the majority of mishness the author is Rob Mayer that's one of the disciplesh is the author of the Kabbalah the Jewish mystical tradition so you have two of these talmudim one with the leader the leadership role in terms of Jewish legal thought the Mishra one Kabbalah Jewish mystical thought so here you have rabi Akiva go at the age of 80 years old everything went bankrupt destroyed Corban but he understood that he's not going to be defined by that even though his whole life's work went up in smoke but to be a Jew is to wake up until the dam is local to say I'm gonna be God like I'm gonna have superhuman strength I'm gonna look forward to the future and I'm Gonna Change the Future how does a human being do that when big tragedy happens how do you because you see a human being could do two things a human being could look back at the past and sit and fetch about it and feel sad about the past and ask why did this happen to me and always Define Yourself by the past but human being has a unique capacity because they have an ashama to look into the future not the past the past you can't change but to look into the future and say not why did this happen to me but now that this this did happen to me what am I going to do differently what am I going to change in the future to build a different future so you can look back at the past at a tragedy and an addiction at a sin at a mistake got a destruction and always Look Backwards or you could say I'm an architect of a new future I'm going to build a new world now based on the mistakes I'm going to learn from them I'm going to build something new and Powerful because many in America today look at themselves as a football they're an object they're an object that gets kicked around by faith or genetics or environment or the Yeshiva it's different people's fault I'm a football I'm being kicked around and I'm a victim Akiva looks at it differently he's not a football he's a quarterback so to speak quarterback doesn't say yeah quarterback says the balls in my hand I'm gonna I have a goal a goals and now I'm gonna move a whole team I'm gonna move to Victory because I choose where to move and how to how to develop a victory so that's what a human being has the capacity to say I'm a quarterback I could determine the future because after destruction I could be Baylor Illinois I could rebuild beautiful worlds whatever mistake I'd did no matter what type of Devastation I come from the Jewish people as a nation as call Israel and a Jew individually like Rabbi Akiva has the capacity to say tomorrow is going to be something special and beautiful there was a uh it was a community back in Russia Ukraine where there are many many a big Chabad community and it was called Kharkov fine now at the time the rabbi his name was shalim Devar Shalom he was far away from Kharkov getting medical treatment so he was far away from cargo so it was far away from the big Jewish City and for most of them wherever he was at the time came to visit him to speak to him he had some question to ask Etc came to the river what's going on so the person that you want to know what's going on in Hanukkah the learning is very weak ening going to the shoals it's not uh it's not real you don't see that you don't feel the draco's you don't feel like I'm also very weak there's not enough there people are narcissistic a bit so ber shop said okay and thank them a few hours later another Jose came in foreign coin token of appreciation okay a few hours later these two encounter each other the night they start to schmooze and they repeat what happened their interaction so the one who said that heck of they don't learn so good they don't dance so good he was very upset I didn't get a gold coin in the other concert gave the beautiful report got a golden coin he's upset so he runs back to the web he knocks him on the door comes and he tells that everybody says it's not fair it's not yaisha this is what's not Yoshi he says the other guy come came in and he tell you all beautiful things about Harker he gave him a gold coin he says I told you the truth about Jacob I gave you the real Ms my report was the true report I told you I was military and you don't give me a gold coin why looks at him with a smile and tells him you think I don't know what's going on in Krakow I know very very well what's going on I just wanted to see in what Clerk of do you live [Music] and that's a question that we really face every day each of us and what we choose to live we can choose to look back at our life and say I live in harkov of Destruction I live in because I know myself and the truth is I've destroyed things and because I destroyed maybe things in my own life and in others I'm gonna Define Myself by that and then I live but every day we also could wake up and say I choose to live in a beautiful heart of the heart of Arabia the Kharkov that we learned who builds that after there's the urban our life needs to be dedicated every moment every dot we learn and every mitzer we do to bring the ilum US to be building a beautiful gracious and godly world oh [Music] another year has passed and we find ourselves once again being Miss Abel and you shalim the Gomorrah babadama base famously says that the reason why your slime was destroyed according to the mask on of the Gomorrah is is only because carliso at that time so they were insistent on adjudicating undeciding matters related to Hoshi mishba related to monetary disputes between one another according to dintora and they were unwilling to go ahead and goli film go beyond the letter of the law in order to accommodate for uh for another in tulsos they are right away asked he says what are you talking about why is gamara now giving a new explanation as to why the base of mitos was destroyed because we know the gumrah Newman Testament Bay says that the reason why the base of English was destroyed was because of Cena srinam so if we have a very clear reason in the gemara in Yuma why the basement tissue was destroyed by Sami was destroyed so why is it necessary to come along and give a second explanation and also says maybe it's that both of these factors both Sina srinam as well as the refusal to go within both of those were contributing factors which led to the destruction of the basement in the destruction of you shall I now number one is that seemingly Cena srino is a much more severe Avera than not going within means I have my rights uh I don't want to accommodate for you I don't want to compromise with you I don't want to forgo any of my rights in your favor I'm going to be insistent on exercising my rights so it's not necessarily the best behavior that a person should follow but to go ahead and say that that's a reason for that's a factor as to why the base of meekness was destroyed so that's pretty severe we often struggle figuring out why Sina is a reason for the base I mean the base Amiga should be destroyed but is something which is pretty severe where people hate one another but people who insist on growing refuse to go leave they insist on following din Torah and don't want to compromise okay it's not so nice but it's not so it's not so bad this question uh uh number one and number two is behal how do we understand this idea that if a person has a right to insist that the money which is owed him should be paid him so why is it so bad to go ahead and not be willing to compromise on that let the other person pay me what he owes me why do I have to compromise why do I have to go leave insurance that did in order to accommodate for him let him go according to din which is that he owes me the money so the the notion that this is grounds for you Shalom to be destroyed is something which is a little bit curious and in order to understand the nature of the day of Tish above what being we are being a missable over what we are uh what we lost out when the base of meters was destroyed was destroyed so that's what we're going to try and understand and I think a good starting point a good springboard to understand this is to explore why it is decided when they were sat down to figure out how we are going to commemorate Corbin basalmentus the fact that the basal mintus was destroyed in the Kaiser was sent into gallus how are we going to go ahead and commemorate that how are we going to mark this uh this tragic event in our our nation's history what's going to be the practice which we're going to adopt which is going to express all of those emotions decided to use as their model was Avalos in choosing a Bayless is a very curious thing because Avalos is generally understood when a person dies when a person is nifter so there's an avalis process there's a morning process there's a grieving process whereby we come to grips with the new reality of our loved one no longer being here together with us in figuring out how to navigate what's essentially a new world without that loved one in in our presence so I could understand why it is that we would go ahead and there's a concept of Avalos for something which is so tragic like the uh the loss of a loved one what does that have to do with samitas is the fact that we had a connection with that and we had a place where we could go and we could meet with who we could offer corbanos we could secure forgiveness we can do avoda in its ideal uh Manner and now that place is no longer with us so it's a tragic event what does that have to do without what does that have to do with Avalos we're not mourning necessarily the fact that people went ahead and died that's not uh that's not the focus and it's even more Curious when we think about the fact that in the Phila of nache which we say uh in the afternoon we we asking us and say in the afternoon of Tish above so we use the phrase so those who mournc and More in USA line so not being Mis over the people who died when the base of Mythos was destroyed and all those graphic descriptions which in in the kinos elaborate on in depict for us the tremendous loss of life which clients experienced at that time but we're not necessarily being Mis over the loss of life it's specifically something something related to Sion and you shalline so what exactly does it mean to be missable to mourn over a city which was destroyed in the base amitish was destroyed it's tragic but why exactly did hazal use the model of a Vegas to go ahead and capture that so I think part of that is to understand what exactly is happening when a person is nifter and the significance of that in the on the spiritual level what exactly is the importance of that in what that tries to convey and we know that there's bro who created the world in this tremendous tremendous Subway where one of the things which is one of the things which is stunning and absolutely amazing is ability to link together both rookni and gashmi something which is spiritual together with something which is physical so when we say in the brachim and then we conclude um so many of them are Fortune explained that the ma Fleet lassos is the fact that together with this physical body which we have this behemothika body which we have that there's a spiritual Soul there's a Rufus element which is fused together with the body a nishaba which is taking me from the highest levels of of spirituality of rooknis right beneath himself and he was able to combine that in the summer into a body and we know from any statements of hazal that it's the existence of the nishama in the body which animates the body that's what gives life to the body that's what gives keys to uh to the body is the fact that the nishama is is there and that's why it's clear from uh from hazal that there has to be a nashama inside of the developing fetus while it's still inside of his mother's womb because without the nishama there there's no way the physical part of their body will be able to exist will be able to grow will be able to survive so one of the most astonishing things which exists in creation is not just the physical creation which is certainly an astonishing thing a wondrous thing but on a rooknistical level what's most stunning about all of it is the combination of goof and the shama the combination of rohni and goshami spiritual together with physical in death we know is marked by because they're trying to measure it medically and try and pinpoint exactly the moment of death and that's for the post game to go ahead and decide on a uh on a a gasmus level at what point Allah is going to say that a person dies but an aruth level so we know what the answer is we may not be able to identify when exactly it occurs but we know exactly what it is in death is the moment that the nashrama separates from the body so during lifetime we have rohni and goshami fused together into one they're intermingled into one they become one and death is marked by the separation of the nashama from the Goof and then shama goes back to the various different parts of the summer go to different places but the nashama will just say very simply goes back up to shemaim and the Goof now becomes this inadequate piece of of just uh goofing Goofy something which is just gosh me something which is just physical it doesn't really have any ideas to it doesn't have any life to it anymore because the nishama has left it and that's what we go ahead and we Mark in terms of the availas because we believe that the national lives on then shama goes up to shemaim then the shama goes through its process what happens when it gets separated from the the body the nishama experiences pain many of the halachas and many of the practice that we have in the Shiva house are specifically revolve around this idea that the nishama is present and we're trying to be be Menachem we're trying to offer Comfort not only to the survivors not only to the availability but to the nisham itself which is pained by the fact that it's been separated from its body it's supposed to be together with the body and we know that body and soul nashama and goof are going to be reunited one one once again for eternity so that's the ultimate existence the ideal existence is for the rookni and the goshmi to be together and therefore it's a tragic thing when there's we have to experience for a period of time the separation of the Goof from the nishama and that is ultimately what death is and that's the tragedy of that is that the the in the gosh we have been separated from one from one another that we no longer have access to our ideal existence and this is this idea is not only limited to a person's body but when you think about it so we know that gazelle tell us in many places for example that the base that we have Apostle can tell him means that there is a physical base Amigos which exists here on ours there's a sanctuary there's a place where where we are able to go and connect with in corresponding to that in shamayam there's also a basamic dishes as well in your shalim represents the place where we combine together those two things in the combination of the Besame and the base is also a significant thing because it creates a conduit through which more rochnius is going to be able to enter into our physical world and as we said the purpose of the world is that Fusion of together and we need to make sure the ideal existence is when those two things are able to combine together and the destruction of the base amigdas is a circumstance we're in we find out that the uh that that connection which is the ideal connection between us below when that connection is severed so again you can have left behind a physical structure of a base Summit does so you have the physical trappings of a basameters but once the ruachness of the base Amit is taken away but of course says there's no longer room for me here in this physical world based on what's currently happening I need to go back up to samayam so this is again a separation of the nishama of the world from the Goof from the physical trappings of the world which was the base of mitesh itself and when we see before our eyes the fact that the base lost its rookness quality it's characteristic and that's all going back up to Sherman and now you have just a physical based on meekness down here which once it loses its ruthless it it the uh the uh it could be Droid it could be burned down to the ground because it's lost it's Reus and the source for their fears the rookness has gone down back up to Sherman so that is a grounds for Avalos that's a ground the same reason why we're missed Abba when a person passes away because the rookni has separated from the Goof because the spirituality has left from the uh from the physical so horrible represents a similar process where the rookness didn't go away it just went to a different place it went into a different dimension it went back up to shamaim and we mourn when things did not exist in their ideal manner of nishama and goof together with gas means together but when the two parts have to be separated from water from one another that is the tragedy and that is the loss of what we have in that same phrase which is used which is depicted by hazal in some contexts to talk about the Besame so we find a similar thing that usual is also a place which is meant to bring together the ultimate and claudi Israel which are his his children as it were but we are physical it by our very nature in the place where we have the opportunity the best opportunity to be able to connect with rookie when client Israel is able to connect is in the basement itself that's where the shrina is says I'm going to take my divine presence and I'm going to allow it so I'm going to find a place for it to be able to dwell here on Earth there on Earth together with us call yourself so we haven't we have an opportunity to connect with our College Barco at that time represents not only the loss of the connection between the Besame but also represents the loss of us are us Cloud yourself physical beings being being able to connect with the ultimate which is and that also is part of the tragedy which which is there and that's why the uh in the the field of it says right after it says that we're the the mourners of sionu shalai it says because you shalim is something which is there in order to be able to bring children into his domain into his place so that we can connect with him so that we as physical beings could connect with him a spiritual being and we can have that connection that my fleet La souls are bringing us together and once the base of Interest was destroyed and once Harvard you shalim you shalim was destroyed so they had ability to connect the rookni and the goshami was lost and that becomes the novelist and you have a city of yusheline which could be there but if it's desolate of the Jewish people even if the physical location is there is that the caducea remains in place even without a base and even without call yourself being there but seeing the physical trappings of you shalim without her children being there without cloud yourself being there and not being able to be used for its design purpose to create the connection between those of us who are here on Earth those of us who are physical beings together with the ultimate Rooney so that is the greatest tragedy which we could experience and that's why uh well with the clients are of hazal shows the mode of availas in order to capture the essence of what is about because all of their availas is the separation of the nishama from the Goof and samitas represents the separation of the base of the base Amita Sharma from the basamita Sharma also a separation of rohni from ghashree and that also is a tragedy of Israelite is a place where where are supposed to be able to meet where the shrina is shower the screen is supposed to reside and now that that doesn't happen anymore that doesn't exist anymore that opportunity has been lost so it's an avalis for that separation of rookni from gashway but I think it's a little bit even deeper than that and I think the deeper part of that is is that we know that there are certain Mitzvahs from which McPherson tell us that they are Mitzvahs which are not given to individuals they can't really be fulfilled fully by an individual these are crawliest dick of type of missiles we need the the the totality of Claudius throw in order to be able to tap into that Mitzvah Shabbos is one of those things matantoro was one of those things before him say that because didn't do a mountain Torah of Rama vinu he didn't do it for you know he didn't do it for Yakov you know he didn't even do it for yakovino and the chief take Card together because Martin Torah the Torah is something which is supposed to be experienced by Claud Israel you need a nation of claw Israel in order to be able to connect Arthur's walk on table to receive his Torah it is great as the avos were as great as the shifter were as great as they as they were they weren't Ami Israel they weren't Claud Israel to be to the Torah and we have many things which are like that who's connection to Claudia Israel by allowing in in sending his divine presence down by entering into this physical world is also one of those things which necessitates Claus Israel as a whole the same way by Martin Torah we know that khazal teaches that the reason why it was that it was able to be given is because not only was there a cloudy soil but it was there was a Unity of purpose a Unity of mind a Unity of connection with one another and therefore when everybody combines together all of their co-hosts in all of their potential and that combines together so then we come become worthy of the Torah because there's no one person who can fulfill altario misses because some it says are for a king and some it says are for a coin in some it says are for women and there's all sorts of different Mitzvahs and it's impossible for any one person to be able to fulfill them all but we combine together when we see ourselves as a unified cloudy Israel as one is is a unit of clause Israel so then we become zoka to the Torah because the totality of Kai Israel could go ahead and fulfill the totality of Torah and that's why the screen is something which is so essential that even though even on a minor scale the gemaran Sota tells us that ishvish that when there's a man and woman zahu if they Merit so is able to reside in their home but if you separate them out so if you have the ish over here and the ish over there and they're not combined together the screener cannot reside in that house it requires the joint effort of the two of them together to bring our courage into into their home and in the same way for claw Israel in order to be worthy recipients of abasamikdash of au Salim the functioning you shalim and is going to look down from and say that's a place where I feel comfortable that's a place where I uh where I look forward to being able to connect together with the the with Claire Israel only when that happens does the shrina does it feel comfortable and is it willing to enter into our world but when clay Israel don't want to go ahead and do that when they refuse to do that so then of course says if there's no shalomy name if there's no peace between them so then there's no place for me here and I need to go back up to my rooknis sticker place and we'll leave behind the empty shell of the uh of the of the Goof of a Besame without any spirituality which could be destroyed you could have your saline without your children there without her children and that's the greatest tragedy and the greatest loss which we could experience akin to the loss of of a person where uh it's a it's just an empty shell of what was without it being used in its ideal manner in this idea of the unity of classical and there are other uh places where they use the same phrase that you shalim is it's a place where claisal is designed to be haverimzelaze that they're supposed to be friends with one another like we say in uh everybody is supposed to connect with one another and this idea is expressed very beautifully I think by revolver when he talks about where it says where we say that the Torah is our life and we need to think about Claudius throughout in terms of being a living organism that's the muscle that that he uses and when we think of uh of uh clientele as a living organism so we know as an organism as a body many times is used as the muscle so body although it's comprised of all sorts of different parts different so there's 630 different parts which which combined make a body so one could look at the person in terms of their parts or one could look at them in terms of the combination of all of that which ends up making a singular goof and really what we need to do what we need to focus on is to realize that does not want us to be 613 separate a Vari and get in different parts of the the body because Marco wants us to see ourselves as part of a unified I am a unified life which is all of the different parts together the heart isn't life and the Brain isn't life and fingers aren't life and feet aren't life it's only when you have all of those different things together do we say a person is alone AI is the person animate is a person capable of achieving their uh their potential and the phrase he uses this is that we're talking about a person's life we don't divide that into limbs we look at life as the unified existence of the thing all by itself and that's really what the tragedy of Corbin based samitas that's what hazal are coming to teach us over here because it's one thing to go ahead and say that there's Sina when we hear that there's the cause of the of the destruction that's certainly true because descend to such a point where they despise one another they hate one another so that we understand that there's a loss of unity may say I don't want to be interested but it could be even more subtle than that and I think that's what the Gemar in bad Mitzi is trying to teach us that it doesn't necessarily have to be a Cena an outright hatred for one another outright hatred is it's clear that there's a disconnect between people people see call yourself as a varum rather than they see them as limbs rather than as a as a unified that body but it's even more subtle than that when we realize that the when people say I don't want to go ahead and compromise I'm going to go according to DIN and I don't want to go Leaf Neema sure then what would be the reason that a person is going to say I'm going to go only according to din the strict letter of the law this is what my rights are and I'm going to exercise every single one of them see the exclusion of growingly that stems from a perspective where I see myself as separate and apart from you if I see myself as separate and apart from you there's my interest in your interests you are trying to encroach you are trying to cross over into my interest and I don't want to let you do that I'm going to defend I'm going to defend my rights financially because those are my rights and those are your rights and you are trying to take away my rights I'm not going to go ahead and let you take away my rights they're mine and they're not yours so when a person takes that attitude of I'm going to go only according to din Torah and I refuse to go that's a recognition at the source if you distill it out to the the attitude to its source what that means is is I see myself as separate and apart from you there's mine and there's yours and since you're trying to take mine I'm going to refuse and I'm going to exercise my rights that attitude doesn't see us as unified together that attitude doesn't see it says connected with one another is somehow part of different limbs of the same body and when Claudia Soul adopts this perspective that there's me and there's you and we are separate they're separate uh separate entities separate limbs there's the hand and the foot in the hand is going to go ahead and fight against the foot because they have different interests and they're both trying to get the same nutrients in the same blood flow the same as everything else and autoimmune disease which is very dangerous because the body ends up fighting itself so that is what happens when Cloud Israel adopts the attitude that they refuse to go live and they insist on going only according to uh to them and that happens when we can't make space for one another we can't be understanding of one another we can go ahead and accommodate other people's opinions and other people's attitudes and even other people's behavior sometimes when we refuse to go ahead and accommodate and to understand and to be able to appreciate that there's different people and there's different Limbs and they have different functions but they could all be part of the same overall body when we lose sight of that says this is essentially the same as Cena that they're the same thing not so much like toso says that their Zeb is their go-rem but the fact that ultimately stem from the same thing means there's me and there's you and I hate you and I despise you and obviously you're separate from me if I could hate you and the refusal to go listen even means there's my rights and there's your rights should I go ahead and have to compromise my rights to accommodate for you you should be giving me what's due to me but that attitude where a person says I have my rights I'm going to insist on my rights and I refuse to accommodate what you want to do I refuse to compromise with you because I'm I'm concerned with my interest to exclusion of your interest as soon as we see ourselves as separate from one another there's a breakdown in the activists as a breakdown in the unity of Kalisto and once there's a breakdown of the unity of God you saw who says my shrina can only reside in a place of Shalom but Sheena can only reside in a place where is zaku that they Merit have Shalom between them he can only be in you shalim he can only connect with call yourself when there is a unified College Israel says we're not unified I have my rights and I'm going to exercise my rights and I'm going to enforce my rights and I'm not going to make any space for you whatsoever I'm not going to demonstrate any interest whatsoever in your rights or your interests and I refuse to compromise then you don't have a body then you don't have a living being which is claw you throw and once cloudy Israel loses their status as that is a bunch of individual limbs which are running around each one exercising in the Rope their their own Pursuits and their own interests and their own rights because I don't want anything to do with this this is not for me and I'm going to take the rookies back up to shemaim and I'm going to leave you there as a separate body to go ahead and figure out how to reconnect with one another how to recreate that Unity whereby everybody's willing to go live you're willing to give and you're willing to compromise and you're willing to forego your rights because there's a bigger picture which is more important there's a bigger body which is much more important than I is an individual cell or I is an individual limb within that body and if the body is going to be healthy all the different parts and all the different systems and all the different organs ultimately they need to get along with one another because when that autoimmune disease exists when the body is fighting within itself so that becomes very uncomfortable very painful and very difficult and that represents an illness of the body itself and that's what happened in the time of corba Base Amigas that's what the gemara in buddhisti is teaching us when says that the reason why you shalim was destroyed is because they insisted on going according to DIN and they wouldn't go the sadin and that represents at its core the inability of people to get along with one another that represents a breakdown of the actus and once there's a breakdown of The Afters and we don't have the status of Claudius throw because Brooklyn says I'm going back up to Shaman I will bring my screener here into this physical world when you are unified as a people but when you Splinter apart and when you are unwilling to compromise and unwilling to go leave with one another I'm going back up to sumain give me a call when you figured it out when you've realized how essential it is for the function of claw Israel for the function of the universe for the purpose of the universe and the destiny of the universe for that actors to be re-established and only once you go ahead and you re-establish if you could do your part of re-establishing that actors repairing the sinus cleanup like the Gabara in Yuma talks about and when we could go then instead of insisting on our rights says then we can have a third base then we could join together and bring things back we don't have to be this above on the separation of hakun from Claire Israel and the loss of the srina leaving behind a shell of a body which just barely holds on to life which barely has atheist to it Butler says when you go ahead and you could unify once again you can make all of the necessary repairs then we'll have a third base Amigos I will come back into this world all of the ideal purpose of the world will come back together with the rookni and the gosh me the physical and the spiritual fusing together and unifying together once again we should be able to appreciate that and we should realize that we can't expect other people to go ahead and generate the actors this is something which each one of us has to do on our own we have to make the effort on our own to be compromising the integral and to be understanding accommodating and make space for other people even if they're different from ourselves and they may have slightly different views from ourselves and they may see Torah mitzvahs from a different angle than we do but ultimately with Shivani military we can make we can accommodate the different people who are loyal to Tori even with the different nuanced ways that they go ahead and do so and when we figure out how to unify how to once again restore is that we will no longer have to be Miss Abel availity of lime and we should all be able to go back to shalim New York Hashem of the Caribbean [Music] oh dear friends has passed morning destruction of betamidash weeping sitting on the ground and unfortunately Marcia is still not here what are we doing wrong they tell us they tell us basis hatred we're doing all that not here why then is Hashem in every building with Dash so maybe we could offer an explanation and we could still work on it and Hashem could say at any given moment The Madras says that one isab here is that yaakov his father it's says that there were three tears involved one tear fell out of assaf's left eye one tear fell out of ourselves right eye and one tear was stuck in the eye that didn't come down because he cried and it says on him also by the story of the megillah and Estelle It also says and not only that all the suffering and the pain and tragedies and the problems throughout the centuries of the Jewish nation and Jewish history are all because of those three tiers from and the question is like this I saw in one of the Hasidic Masters it escapes me right now his name but he asks like this he says we have a concept in our Judaism in our Torah in the rules which means in very simple limb in terms the classic example we all know a drop of milk falls in the bucket or in a pot of meat if you have 60 times the meat more than a drop of milk it's canceled it's nullified you can eat the pot of meat so how then these three tiers weren't they canceled with all the tears that we have shed throughout the centuries we didn't cry enough in the Holocaust we didn't cry enough in the programs we didn't cry enough and all the annihilations and all the tragedies and all the problems those tears were not enough to cancel out the tears of yourself how could it be how could it be that still today is still not rebuilt because the tears of yourself are still not number four it's still not canceled it was a great red Bay and he once want he want once to um he went once part of me he went once to a hotel and he wanted to stay there for the night and the hotel owner he gave him a very nice room Hospitality everything very nice and he's over there at 12 o'clock midnight around midnight at night and he hears the person next door in the room right next door to him crying and saying oh oh it hurts so much it hurts so much now this rabbit said unbelievable I hate the jackpot I won the lottery I'm here next to one of the subject team of the generation wow he's for sure crying over the destruction of the method mcdosh he's doing something called where every yehudi is supposed to wake up approximately at midnight sit on the floor and weep over the structure he says for sure this is this is one of the guys five minutes pass and he hears even more groaning and more moaning and he hears the person say ah it hurts so bad make it stop it hurts so bad the rabbit says well unbelievable this is for sure one of the 36 subject 36 hidden said they came and the righteous people in the century for sure and the rep is so pleased with what he hears five minutes passing he says he hears the person next to the room next door say ugh it hurts so bad give me some Tums give me some Tums I shouldn't have ate that oatmeal or I shouldn't have ate that omelette before I went to sleep I have so much heartburn the urban says Ah those tears were in vain I thought they were holy tears and I come to realize and know and understand there were tears in vain the rabbi say Isha was crying because of this world because he was running after this world gets all the blessings from his hack his heart is giving him it's all about this world ASAP says I want this world that's what I'm crying about unfortunately when we cry we're also crying about this world when do we realize that we need better mcdash when things that we have in this world are no longer here when there's inflation and problems in the stock market when the tuition bill gets high when mortgage rates get high interest rates gets high then we start remembering so therefore it's not canceled it's not nullified it's the same exact ears I once heard a story a very long time ago details are not important but the message Rings very true there was a rabbit different River there was a rabbit that had a person come to him every single year and ask for advice and he would come to him and he says buy this stock buy that stock this is good this is not good and the person would leave not understanding how the rugby would possibly know about stocks and the business transactions of the world but he trusted his rabbi one year this person comes he says rabbit now what what do I do now what stocks do you have in mind he says I'm telling you put all your money out of the stock market he says we're talking about he says I'm telling you pull all your money out of the stock market it's fine rabbit I'll do that but how do you know you know I never had the audacity to ask you every single year how do you know about the stock market but how do you know I should put my money out this year he says because when you come right before you every single year a very wealthy philanthropist comes very wealthy businessman comes and he tells me this stock is good that stock is good he only wants my blessing he knows I don't know anything about stocks or Wall Street or anything but he wants my bad he wants my blessing and I give him however this year he came and I asked him no let's call him Reuben new Reuben how's it going on Wall Street in the stock markets and he turns to me and he says what could I tell you we need mashiach and when I heard him say we need mashiach I understood that the stock market is going to crash therefore I'm telling you pour all your money out we don't think about mashiach when everything is good because we've become so complacent so comfortable so numb in the in the situations that we're in in the in the environment that we're in when do we start thinking about Michelle like I said when push comes to shove says the rabbi he says no no no that's my the it's tears of Assam are not cancel they're not they're not nullified because they're carrying the same exact ears it's very hard for us it's very hard for us when we say the amida we say it's Sprout forth the coming of you know just like you said it's very hard for us to relate what is what is mashiach in fact what is it it's very hard for us to relate and to cry and to constantly to have kavana in those words but if we just think about something so simple very tragic but so simple then maybe we could start shedding tears maybe we could start nullifying the tears of isab crying about hashem's name being desecrated instead of crying about our own materialistic needs what it's in it's for me what am I going to get when mashiach comes maybe that's why every year I was in the summertime why because everybody's so hung up about their homes their dreams their vacations Hashem says what about my home what about the shakina coming out from the dirt what about the sugar coming out from the mud why don't you think about that maybe that's why it comes every year and comes in the summertime because not about you stop stop being so self-centered egocentric only conceded thinking only about yourself it's not about you it's about Hashem what about hashem's home what about 19 something years 1950 something years Hashem doesn't have a home what about that so something very simple tragic used to always say look at the millions of children that don't even know how to say Shema Israel how about that we should cry about that but they don't even know how to sanctify hashem's name unify hashem's name come close to Hashem can we cry about that can we cry about people they don't even know they're Jewish they are they don't even know that they're Jewish that's something we should cry about when they captured the in the six day Woman They captured the kotel Dakota was back in the hands of the Jewish people so there were two students in Yeshiva one student turns to another and says oh let's go see the quote what remained of the destruction of the beta mikdash of our Holy Temple so his friend turned to him he says you don't have to go to the quota to see the destruction of the temple just open your window and see the people desecrating Shabbat people walking around the street not even know who knowing who Hashem is on that we have to cry and if we acquire those those tears we can nullify we can nullify the tears of ourselves speedily in our days we don't have to wait only once a year to have to start remembering oh we need mashiach we need the better mcdash every single day we have three times an opportunity those words concentrate on those words those words concentrate to nullify the tears of and to bring forth the coming of mashiach in our tears of pure tears of holy tears when we really cry because we want Hashem to have a home again should be spiritually in our days amen [Music] welcome back I'll be glasting to our tissue book program we've had this supposed to have her blessing on many times in our program and for tissue box and here we are again in golus on Tish above we hoped we'll be in yerushalayim and hopefully uh it's gonna happen soon but as of now here we are so I would like to welcome welcome you back Robert gladstein Israelis de Ferris Mordecai in Cedarhurst and Isabel Macabre swarm the safer magazine and many books the darkness and the dawn for those who want to look for it and get started um Robbie Gladstone I know you just finished came back from a trip to Spain and Portugal and I believe you've seen destruction there were many many cahillas over there kahilas that you probably can't believe that it was vibrant full of Yiddish kites I know probably it's pretty empty if you can tell the audience a little bit of what you saw and the inspiration that you got yeah thank you for the opportunity um this is an appropriate time of the year to talk about this subject you know talk about communities in Spain there were Jewish communities there for at least uh 800 years that we shine them live there you had the greatest of all the China you had of course the rashva in Barcelona the run the ramban in garona ravino and of course the rambam the rambam was born in Cordova and uh many many we shine him dozens of reshinen and they were very eminent uh Jewish communities there's nothing there there's nothing to see we thought we would go we would see remnants relics imprints uh some kind of uh no there's nothing to see the country is empty and void there's no ruach and there's no gesham nothing it was startling prepared a lot of uh a lot of information to talk about the some of the gravy okay some of the streets you know the rajva street very good but there's there's no apparent evidence that Jews ever lived in that country there's no shame to share us the closest you'll see is in some doorways there's like a little uh crevice where you know once upon a time there was a mezuzah there but that's it there's no um Patek fares there are no cemeteries there are no kavaram there's nowhere to Daven the rush was in Toledo nowhere to Daven not for The Rush not for the rajva not for the ramban not for the Run not forever they did a very good job points out that uh and it's something we could observe throughout Jewish history is that when the gullusk comes to an end then we leave overnight it's not like the the guy and they come and say you know we think the time is up we're going to give you a couple of months you could sell your homes you could pack your bags you could take all of your stuff with you now when the gallus is up it's all over there's nothing uh the next night we're out of there and show explains that based on our the concept of golus is uh together the new soy sauce of kadusha that were scattered all over the world but once we're finished gathering in those Sparks then next night we're on to the next there's there's no delay and that's what we see in Spain in Spain it's like we took every last spark of kadusha out and uh there's nothing left you know I'll share with you something very uh powerful it's even difficult to talk about it publicly it's the question I had for many years and I even offered a explanation and I wrote it and many people really um it was it was an approach it really resonated with a lot of people but going back to Spain and Portugal I think there are other answers possibly to this question and this is a very important question you know on Tisch above we mourn many tragedies besides the actual hormones of course we've mourn that started but we were we more in the Crusades didn't happen at the time of the horbit it happened uh a thousand years later we mourn the burning of the shots 12 42. we mourn the Holocaust so there are many tragedies that we speak about on Tish above and it really troubled me why is there no mention of the Spanish explosion in 1492 I mean 300 000 Jews were expelled from the country and everybody knows or should know that it happened on tishop it happened on tishima so it's not like we're sticking to the script only only we talk about things that happen throughout the generations and the Spanish expulsion was one of the greatest tragedies that ever happened to the Jewish people why do we omit it it's like conspicuously absent especially that barbarinal writes in one of his introductions that Ferdinand Isabella they didn't know they didn't they didn't like look on the calendar let's schedule the explosion for a date that you know is well known to be a day of mourning for the Jewish people as far as they they were concerned they picked the data out of the head but it's like tishov is a lightning rod and when there's tragedy that happens it happens then well we know World War one broke and on Tish above the Jews were expelt from France from England on tischbar throughout the generation I remember when I was a kid myself the aguda of Avenue L in Brooklyn it burned down on tishaba everybody knows when there's tragedy to happen it happens on Toshiba and here the Spanish expulsion divinely orchestrated clearly that it was scheduled for tishima and we don't even talk about it on tissue it's omitted so in the past I used the following approach and I think there's a lot of truth to it but there's something uh there's something more more I believe you know the good Island who lived in those times when the Jews were leaving Spain they they passed again that even though it was Tish above they should play live music why one of the reasons is the Jews were so depressed and they're so downtrend they're so broken of the time felt it was it was a question of life and death the Jews were in danger of just being utterly crushed demoralized so they needed to lift their spirits but there was another message as well and that is as painful as it was to leave the country where we flourish for 700 years for 800 years but we're not leaving our home we're leaving the gullus and a Jew never cries when he leaves the gullus and as difficult as it was we played music to recognize we never belonged in Spain in the first place that's not our home our home is ours Israel you can't cry when you leave the Galas you can be attached to the gullus you can't mourn when a golis is over golus is over it's not easy it's not easy being uh completely transported to a different uh country no money broken no livelihood strangers and a stranger but at the end of the day a Jew doesn't cry when they leave the Galas and I believe this is a true answer but you know look I know from on your show you know you speak about the issues that uh others are maybe afraid to talk about so I think this has to be mentioned after studying I did a lot of research to be able to speak we had a very close we had about 40 people educated people so I was doing research about the times that these lived in and the community is flourished in you know in 1391 in Spain 200 000 Jews were forcibly converted and baptized 000 Jews just think about the magnitude of that number 200 000 Jews were forced to leave the religion okay so you'll say look their lives were threatened and obviously who could judge them and they had no choice and inwardly many observe Judaism privately but not everyone not everyone but here's what the the painful thing is and I'm going to come back to the really painful thing in a moment that but I want I want to let you know that in 1492 many Jews went then went to Portugal because at the time Portugal did not have a policy of of expulsion so just went to Portugal but five years later King Manuela Portugal wanted to marry Ferdinand and Isabel's daughter so they said look you want you want this girl who has a shoulder here here you have too many Jews in your country so you agreed to expand exposure to Portugal you have her hand in marriage so he married her and that was the condition of the marriage now he he was he understood that his economy was dependent on the Jews so he gave them a certain amount a month six to ten months to liquidate their assets and to get ready to leave but he didn't wait for that so on the first day of pesach he rounded all the Jews up and he said either you convert or your children are being kidnapped and the King Emmanuel kidnapped every single child below the eight the age of 18 and no parents saw their children again this is something that's not so well known there was a reshine who lived in Spain who went to Portugal he had two children kidnapped baptized he never saw them again these children were taken off to an island off of Africa where there's an entire Island just of Yiddish who were who were converted and we have no we have no Shameless of them so I want to ask you a question if for a hundred now here's an important fact the Inquisition was in effect for a very long time before the Jews were expelled in 1492. see the Inquisition was that any Jew who was threatened to convert and convert it can now not go back to practice Judaism if a Jew maintained themselves as Jewish people they were allowed to practice Judaism so before 1492 you had Jews who uh preserved their heritage and there there they were not being investigated they only investigated people who converted to Christianity and were suspected of really observing Judaism that was the Inquisition so we they were inquisitive are these converts being faithful to Christianity so and I ask you a very simple question in the scheme of History what was worse the forceful conversions for a hundred years of hundreds of thousands of Jews or the fact that Jews were expelled in 1492. what do you think was worse that hundreds of thousands of Jews left here this guy what's a bigger tragedy that Jews left our religion by the by the droves or the fact that in 1492 Spain said okay enough is enough I understand many people converted but anyone who didn't convert you gotta leave I mean in the scheme of things that wasn't such a big deal compared to the fact that we lost hundreds of thousands of Jews in the last hundred years so to commemorate what happened on tissue about 1492 is really insulting if you think about it and a lack of appreciation and understanding and now knowing and being educated what was going on for for decades before then but probably the most painful thing is that there were rapunin that didn't withstand the test and without getting into too much detail one of the great rabbanim Rabbi Solomon Levy when he was challenged by the church he converted and his talmud rabbit he disparaged the rabbi how could he leave our people how could you abandon us how can you turn your back on us and the Ruby challenged him to a debate Andrew converted so what do you think that did to the morale of the communities what do you think that did now these weren't of the caliber of perhapsabah but you know to be aware of what was taking place in the time you know we know that rambana had a famous student I've known that many storms talked about them talks about the karayasha talks about so I'm not trying to you know reveal things that are not known this is uh you know it's written bad and all this forum but the pressures of the time I would say like this number one you think it's brings covet to cloudy Israel if we're gonna really focus in on what what was happening then in a way it's it's almost impossible to talk about and in a way it's disparaging to talk about you're going to talk about the Jews left their Spain that's what you're going to remember why because it happened on Tisch above but vis-a-vis what was taking place um first of all in the Inquisition if you're suspected practicing Judaism so they would either torture you until you admit either that you um that you you wholeheartedly Embrace Christianity or they torture you so I think there are a number of reasons why the Spanish Inquisition was not does not discussed too much on tishvab number one like we said you can't cry when you leave the Galas number two the whole Saga and the whole period in a way it's it's embarrassing for us and number three and this is something I saw on the Rival now just historically you know there were three rivets um the Rival that we always talk about the ram I'm on the right that's the rhyme of the second the rabbit of pokiers we spoke about about the Rival of pokiers last year when we visited France the first private wrote a safer hakabala he was one of The Shining him he lived in Spain and he wrote a work of history from beginning of time until his time and he says something and I think this is another reason why we don't talk about the period of what happened in Spain he says expulsion that's similar to the Corbin we were expelled in times of performance hunger we experienced that time of the hormone deprivation persecution similar to the hormone Force conversion worse than the Corbin Forest conversion worse than the hormone he doesn't say this to answer any questions he just makes this comment that this this part of Jewish history forced conversion this is worse than horben base which might be another reason why we don't talk about on Tish above because this is a tragedy worse than Corbin Basin Tish above is related to is dedicated to those tragedies that are on par with corbination there are certain things that Trends are even worse than the destruction of the basement by the way there was one of the Spanish guitar he wrote a safe and he also invented the Astro lab and he had Maritime charts so Christopher Columbus used his Maritime charts to uh navigate and sail to America writes that in Portugal many Jews they kill themselves to avoid being forcibly converted and many of these are Jews that we know we know what we know about we didn't know that they did this but I'm going to tell you who they were the wife of the tour the wife of the balaturam she killed herself so as not to be forcibly converted and the questions are you allowed to do that and he brings many riots that it's um that you are related to that where the children jumped off the boat to avoid being violated and he brings many many proofs but this just gives us a picture of what was taking place in those times so there are a lot of things to think about regarding what we don't talk about on Tish above so in a way we shouldn't be talking about this today but it's very painful disinformation that you're sharing it's uh what are we what are what's what can the audience maybe you can leave us with yes I want to share regarding the first point you know that we don't cry when we leave the gaulas that's something that we we really have to think about that not to be so attached to uh as as comfortable as the goddesses and as much as we're able to practice our other sky here in America but this is not where it's at this is not our home this is a station not a destination regarding regarding uh some of the sad occurrences that we're discussing you know it also gives us a moment to pause and think that yeah there are things that happen in our time what happened to young men and women in our own time what families deal with in our own time when uh if they're not able to uh Merit to keep the children on the on the path that difficulty and that challenge that's worse than corbination you know that's more painful than hormones that's something that we have we did not experience at the time of the Corbin and it sort of puts it highlights to us as wonderful as life is today but you know they're families that are dealing with challenges that you know go beyond even what we're discussing on on Tish above I want to share with you just one uh final thing that I learned in Portugal we were in Lisbon in Lisbon we stood in front of a church right you're not supposed to say that a user church has a landmark so I'm not going to say which one it was but there was a uh there was a monument there and in 1506 there were terrible pilgrims in Lisbon let's fast forward 200 years to the year 1755. it was November 1st what we call All Saints Day and the whole city was in the church six or seven different churches at that moment an earthquake hit Portugal the worst the most severe earthquake in the history of the European continent it leveled the entire city 85 percent of the city every Church in the City was destroyed so in this city where they forcibly converted and kidnapped all Jewish children it was cemented by a supernatural earthquake now this earthquake now what what do the Christians do when they go to the mass they light candles the earthquake caused wildfires and people were burnt alive in the place that they burnt yet and then they were looking for safety so they ran down to the riverbed and a tsunami came and washed them away and whoever survived the second tsunami came and then a third tsunami came so who are we to say why things happen but sometimes like with Miller would always says you know sometimes you have to open up your eyes but I'll tell you you know see people see what they want to see people uh so some of the clerics they said okay why is God doing this it must be we didn't search out every last conversal there must be some more yeah than practicing Judaism in secret so they found one more hit and they brought him a line so on the one hand you see open Yad Hashem and you see how blinded people could be and this is all this is all part of the Galas where look hazal tell us Hashem is Hashem was patient but ultimately the government delay he you know he collects his debt there's there's a A Day of Reckoning and at the same time people could be uh oblivious to it so it's important for us to to know what we've been through what we've endured and use use uh the real View Window the rear view mirror as a as a perspective of how to uh pull out of the driveway and uh and plot forward well thank you thank you so much um could you leave our audience with different broker with the tissue buff I know it's hard but but afterwards we wait you know machine is born and so it's very important you know uh you would think on Tish above we're gonna spend the whole day sitting in the dirt sitting in the dust wallowing and dust no we get up because uh that's the direction of Kal Israel you gotta get off the floor dust yourself off brush yourself off roll up your sleeves and uh plot for the future look here we are after 2000 years after everything they've done to us and uh we're flourishing we're as strong as ever so clearly Hashem has been guarding us watching us and if you're here today [Music] so you have to know that Hashem has been guarding you for 2 000 years from all of these difficulties and all these challenges be it horben be it Crusade be it Inquisition hashem's been navigating you saving you preserving you so that you could be here today and he gave you the Baton it's like this has been a long relay race and now the Baton is on our hand and we're the ones who have to get it to the finish line that means Hashem trusts us he trusts you he's given you the job that through your learning and your has said and your Fila you're gonna take that baton that was passed down to you from your parents from your grandparents and it's our job to get get us to the finish line to make it happen how many thank you so much for relaxing and hopefully we'll meet in person with everybody listening in your life [Music] today is a very strange day to be Jewish um complicated on one hand it's a sad day I mean that's not complicated that's okay it's not fun to be sad sad to be sad but okay I can be sad what's complicated is that the same time we don't say takan today because we're told today is means a holiday or Festival well hold on a second what's so festive about Tish above and the explanation is that well right now there's so much grief associated with the tragedies that befell us on this date that that's covering over the inner quality of being a maid but eventually maybe immediately the grief will be removed and then what we'll have left over is nothing but celebration which is a like I said it's that's very complicated we have one day which is the saddest day of the year and at the very same time it's a potential Festival in fact it is a festival now it's just there's too much grief covering it so we can't connect to the to the Joy you notice says that mashiach was born on Tish above so is teachable of a day of Destruction or is it a day of of rebirth and the answer is yes it's both at the same time that's what I'm saying it's complicated it's very complicated now this sort of complicated situation of being both connected with grief and pain and dysfunction which that's what Exile is exile isn't just being banished from our land Exile is being banished from our true selves Exiles when we can't be in touch with the nashama and and it's love and awe of Hashem and it's fearlessness and its bravery and its Serenity and its peace all of that stuff becomes removed from us so that's that's what Exile means means not just being banished from our land it doesn't just mean a socio-political Exile it means a psychological Exile as well and of course all of this stems from a spiritual Exile so on one hand we're very connected to that and at the very same time we're connected to the very opposite which is the coming Redemption which we're closer to now than ever before in history I mean sort of by definition we're closer to mashiach now than ever before in history so we live in a funny we live in a funny time where a lot of our lives and our experiences have to do with have to have to do with dealing with the dysfunction of Exile but at the very same time we're starting to get in touch with the glory that's coming very soon in in gula a way to kind of understand this weird time that we live in is uh Friday afternoon if you've ever been in any Shabbos observant household on Friday afternoon you know it's a funny time um it can be very stressful and people can they can behave in ways that they wouldn't normally behave because they feel the pressure time's ticking and uh if you would come into a Jewish house on a Friday afternoon you might get an impression wow this isn't a very happy family and then you come back a few hours later Friday night they're all sitting at the Shabbos table you say wow what an amazing family they're so bonded they're so close they're enjoying each other such peace and just a few hours earlier everyone was running around hectic stressed that's the time we're in right now in the cosmic calendar every Millennium is a day in the year 5783 we're in Friday afternoon so on one hand we're dealing with the stress of this really unique confusing time where we're trying to get ready for Shabbos already it's coming it's imminent and there's stress and there's there's tension but at the same time it's like Shabbos is so close you can already start to taste like literally you know it's a Mitzvah too taste from the Shabbos Food before Shabbos so we're already enjoying some of the Schnitzel and the maybe we're having some other cholin in the matzo ball soup and yet at the same time it's she was in the shower too long tell her to get out oh no can someone run to Costco we have no Seltzer right so that's that's this generation that's the era that we live in confusing time complicated time and in this generation what's happening is we're getting rid of we're cleaning up the last vestiges of the dysfunction of Exile and we're starting to experience the real peace and serenity of deep healing of Deep return to our essence to our to our soul to who we truly are and it's all they're both happening at the same time they're both happening at the same time that's what makes this such an interesting time to be alive where we're dealing with issues that no one ever dealt with before but we're healing in ways that no one ever healed before I I have a group a monthly group that gets together of uh I have a men's group and have a women's group two separate groups fathers and mothers who meet separately on Zoom virtually once a month who are all alumni of my parenting course I have a six-week online parenting course and many of these people have taken the course more than once they've taken some take have taken it two three times and then as a refresher once a month we get together and every month we have a different topic related to related to parenting so uh this month we had a meeting last week so this month I I figured for manage is about it's about getting ready for uh the ultimate healing but at the same time like I said the weirdness of still being in gallus and having to deal with the last cleanup that we need to do before we go into the Redemption so I spoke about it from uh a point of view of a of an individual who's who's who's trying to heal and specifically an individual who's a parent and trying to heal and I said it like this I said you know we've picked up various different defense mechanisms that we've used to cope with the dysfunction of golus or the people who parented us picked up different defense mechanisms to deal with the dysfunction of golus or the people who parented the people who parented us picked up various defense mechanisms to deal with the dysfunction of golus and we're carrying that stuff what do I mean by these defense mechanisms I mean you're living in a crazy world golus is so crazy that when mashir comes we'll look back on it and say it was like a dream so you're dealing with this craziness called golus and I'm sure you've heard the expression a normal reaction to an abnormal situation okay so the normal reaction to an abnormal situation is that unfortunately we come up with these adaptations these coping mechanisms where we convince ourselves that certain things will make us safe certain things will will grant us security so some of us learn how to be mean and tough and if I'm mean and tough and I can beat everyone up then I'm safe from this craziness from this crazy world others learn how to be a smooth talker if I can just convince everyone to calm down I'll use my words and if I can just flatter people and talk them into doing what I want if I become the master manipulator then then I'm safe then I'm good then I can relax these are the different Character defects that we all pick up in childhood or were transmitted to us by parents who picked them up in their childhood or by parents who were who had that transmitted to them by parents who had it transmitted to them and so on and so forth the point is we all pick we all pick up these different Character defects which are essentially the survival mechanism of trying to cope with the craziness of an of a world that feels unsafe some of us learn how to be invisible if I can just hide and not get picked out of the crowd then I'm safe others learn to be super driven anything that I put my mind to I can do no matter who I have to run over determination that becomes their their coping mechanism other people learn to be people Pleasers I have no will have no desire no hopes no dreams whatever anyone else wants and I learn how to appease them and give in and if I can just give everyone else what they want then I'll be safe yeah and some of us pick up multiple coping mechanisms the point is these are all adaptations to the dysfunction of golus this is what I'm telling the parents at my monthly group last week and they get passed down from parent to child parent to child parent to child and at some point somebody's got to be the one to say I'm not going to carry forward any more of these coping mechanisms I'm going to drop these defense mechanisms and I'm going to accept the fact that I don't need anything but Hashem yes this is a lofty very very spiritual level but you know what what's the alternative to continue to perpetuate all these neuroses and all these dysfunctions we have to realize I thought I needed to be mean and tough or I thought I needed to be a smooth talker or I thought I needed to be a people pleaser I thought I needed to learn how to be invisible or whatever it is and what I realize is no I only need Hashem and to relax and put myself in hashem's hands and that's all I need and that's all that is authentic to myself that's what my nishama wants the real me and all of the other stuff those character traits that I picked up that I became that I started to identify with they're not the real me that's the ego that's the ego and that's the ego is doing what Hashem told it to do Hashem created the ego to Keep Us Alive so that's what it thinks it's doing it thinks it's keeping us alive which is why everything the ego does always feels like life and death I have to do this because it's life and death that's the intensity of the ego it always thinks it's keeping us alive I have to make more money so I don't die I have to get another person to approve of me so I don't die I have to win this argument so I don't die it's always with the intensity of life and death but that's the ego and that's not the authentic self those are the gullus adaptations again not the authentic self so I was saying to these parents we got to let go of that stuff because we don't want to hand that over to the Next Generation I told them something interesting the labova should ever said this is the last generation of golus in the first generation of Gola and I asked why did it ever call it a generation speaks about he calls it as man he says in that era in that time what does that ever call it a dollar a generation so I said I'm not 100 sure about this but it feels right you know what it means the last generation of golf's first generation of Gola means we're the generation is literally parents raising children that's what a generation is so we're the last parents to raise children with a gaulus paradigm and the first parents to raise children with a ghoula paradigm Galla's Paradigm means all of those defense mechanisms that the ego picked up and it makes sense it picked it up because that's the job its job is to protect you so all those defense mechanisms that I picked up which become my character flaws that become embedded in family systems and in Family Lines they get handed down generation after generation we have to be the first generation of parents parenting children to say I'm not continuing that and we have to be the first generation of parents to say I'm going to return to my authentic self to my nashama the only thing I need for Safety and Security in this world is Hashem and my relationship with Hashem that's all I need and I'm okay and I'm okay and then from that place of okayness to raise children who can also feel intrinsically okay and for whom their relationship with Hashem is what grants them a sense of well-being not all the gullus adaptations and defense mechanisms I want as far as to say that the adaptations and defense mechanisms that we've been carrying either that we developed in our childhood or that our parents developed or our parents parents our parents parents parents parents I said uh it could really be called a vedasota for two reasons it's available because we're relying on those things instead of Hashem and anything you rely on instead of Hashem but I said on a deeper level because it is foreign to us those defense mechanisms are a betrayal of our true selves because if we were more in touch with our nashama we wouldn't need to do that stuff we wouldn't feel that that that fight or flight that that Adrenaline Rush that do or die and I understand why I picked it up for my grandfather or my great grandfather or my great great grandfather I understand why under the dysfunctional crazy situation of gullus I understand why we picked it up but we're the first generation has to say we're not going to carry it forward and we have to recognize it as what it is it's available it is foreign to us it's not the real me that's and I don't have to hold on to it as a family heirloom just because my great great great grandfather did it he didn't want to do it he's looking as an ashama and saying he wish he wished he never picked up that that maladaption that that that that adjustment that he was doing because he that's the best he could do he he wants he doesn't want his great great great great grandchildren to to inherit that he wants me to let it go so I said it's not ours it's not ours this Aveda Zara it is literally a desire it is foreign to us and we need to let it go and say this is not this doesn't belong to me this doesn't belong to me it crept into this family however many generations ago and now I'm gonna be the one to set it down and to say no more it doesn't move on after me I came up with this silly muscle I don't know why sometimes you come up with a marshall because it's brings home a point so I said imagine a from family is Pacer cleaning out of pesach uh not just pace of cleaning but you know bidika's comets are but goodness so it's the night before Pacer and they're cleaning for pesach and they're checking searching for Comet you know the Father the candle the whole thing and they look under the couch and they find a Salem I just made this up as a silly Marshall I said what do you want them to do oh no we founded Salem and they're trying to figure out where does this come from we didn't buy this house from non-jews we built this house no one lived in this house but our family so it has to be from somebody from this family what should we do what should we do I said it as a marshall about when you become aware of your Character defects what are you supposed to do about it so I said one reaction is you take the Salem and you put it on the mantle put it under glass shine lights on it and you make a museum you see everyone stand around and look at this terrible thing that we found look at this dysfunction look what we found it's revolting and every day you look at it and feel revolted so that's one reaction you know you could do that or the other reaction put it with the comments and burn it in the morning you move on with life in other words we're bringing up stuff that previous generations didn't bring up because they were in survival mode so they didn't deal with these things we're bringing it up but once you bring it up what are you supposed to do with it do you identify with it do you rehash it you talk about it and re-talk about it or do you identify it and say look this isn't me it's not authentic to me it's an adaptation to this dysfunction called golus either I picked it up or my father my father's father my father's father it doesn't matter when it came in it's not authentic to us it's not the nashama it's a crutch it's a defense mechanism the anger the rage the fear the lying the lust whatever it is it's okay we're gonna put it down and leave it it's it's not us we don't want it we don't want it we're purging it from our family and that's it and then you move on feeling much lighter so I gave that metaphor and I don't know why but I felt like saying it again I said a second time a from family is clean for pesos night before pesach and they've either tail them under the couch what should they do should they make a museum piece out of it and everyone stand around and be upset about it every day after day after day or you put it with the comments and burn it in the morning and then I said it a third time and I don't know why but I said it a third time I was feeling it I said it a third time and all of a sudden one of the women on this zoo was the mother's Zoom she says Rabbi stop a sec I gotta say something yeah go ahead says I have it Salem and I'm like yeah yeah we all do we find it and we gotta get rid of it we have to know what's available I have a tail on my real tail this is a very very firm woman I I know her husband I know her kids very firm woman she says I have to tell him in my car right now for the past three years I'm like whoa okay all right all right let's stop here what's going on talk to me he proceeds to tell me a story her story or family story her great grandfather was a Moroccan Jew a descendant of the uh and they left Morocco they moved to Gibraltar then from there they moved to Brazil and in Brazil they lived in the uh in the Amazon there were economic opportunities there supposedly and so her great-grandfather this Moroccan Jew a descendant of the Oregon is living in Amazon in Brazil and his young wife dice meaning the woman who's talking to me her great-grandmother dies they have a daughter This Woman's grandmother little girl what are they supposed to do with her the mothers the mother's deceased there's no mother to raise her anymore in Brazil the Catholic church is very strong they came to this Moroccan Jew and they convinced him give your daughter to us we'll take care of her and he did it and he sent her to a Catholic school and she was raised by nuns and the nuns used to beat her and berate her and scream at her when they would make food they would tell her get away from the food don't touch it with your dirty Jewish hands that was her upbringing one night she was home with her father having supper she took a fork and a knife from the dinner table and she made it into a shape of the image of the Salem that she saw hundreds of times a day in the Catholic school where her own father sent her and he became enraged and I would assume also he was full of Shame and self-loathing because it was apparent to him maybe he wasn't conscious of it maybe he wouldn't admit to it but he I'm sure hated himself for sending her to that place so she made the little image of the Salem with their fork and a knife at the dinner table and he beat her he beat her so this poor little Jewish girl orphaned by her mother at a young age sent to the Catholic school where the nuns beat her and berate her and then she comes home and her father beats her because she's confused she's just trying to be the way that she thinks she's supposed to be I mean this is a Gullah story a pure sweet innocent nashama in a crazy dysfunctional situation that is gullus so anyways eventually this grandmother unfortunately she she caved to the pressure of the gullus and she was baptizedlan she became a Catholic she married a Catholic and she practiced Catholicism her entire life and she had a daughter and that daughter was raised as a Catholic and married a Catholic and that daughter had a daughter and that daughter was discovered by Ashley Abdullah who told her that she was Jewish your mother and your mother's mother is Jewish and she is the descendant of the kadish you're Jewish actually met with the grandmother he asked her various questions about her upbringing and she recited different prayers and blessings for him in Hebrew with a real authentic Moroccan accent and she returned to you this kite and she lives in Brooklyn and is raising a very very wonderful from family when her grandmother passed away she got rid of the idols her grandmother had literal idols she said statues and stuff and she used to make clothing for the statues and dress them it was very very disturbing stuff and he was this granddaughter got rid of her grandmother's idols when she passed away um but the grandmother was a a jeweler a jewelry Merchant she sold jewelry and the granddaughter the one who's speaking on the zoom she says she inherited a bunch of jewelry from her grandmother a lot of different pieces and she said one day she uh is going through these different pieces of jewelry and she was shocked she didn't realize it was there there was a Salem now one of the pieces of jewelry was at Salem now it wasn't something that her grandmother had ever worshiped it was just ornamental and there was a difference Allah but she was horrified she didn't know what to do with it she called her off three years ago and that off told her it wasn't worshiped it's just ornamental you can't keep it but you're allowed to sell it and uh you can even keep the money but you know go take care of it so she said this is three years ago she took the piece of jewelry into her car and she's about to go to the pawn shop and sell the piece of jewelry and she froze she said how can I do this I'm I'm a I'm a firm woman I'm gonna walk into a jewelry store and they're gonna see me with this Salem it's so shameful she said no I can't do it it's too shameful she put it in the glove box and she hid it and she said I'll do it later she procrastinated I'll do it later that was three years ago you said for three years he's had that thing in her glove box and she forgets about it because she has it's just too much shame to deal with too much shame I can't do I can't confront that I don't want to do I want to pretend it's not there and she just keeps it in the glove box she says from time to time she remembers that it's there and she becomes struck with horror and panic oh no what if my children find it how confused will my poor little children be what are they going to think they're gonna find a tailor in Mommy's car what will they even do with that information and then she becomes so guilty it'll traumatize her children and then she becomes Frozen again and you could say well why why is she so Frozen why doesn't she just get rid of it why didn't you just throw it in the in the ocean you can ask whatever you want this is a story that happened last week and for three years this devoted loving mother of a beautiful Jewish Family for three years she lived with this angst and this anxiety of her grandmother's Salem her grandma her poor little grandmother the little girl who was orphaned and sent to Catholic school and beaten by the nuns and came home and was beaten by her father and didn't know what to do with all that and became a Catholic and and this male adaptation this defense mechanism this coping that this family picked up to deal with the atrocities of gullus became passed down and I told everyone on the zoom this is not unique to the person telling the story this is all of our stories we all have this Salem we have this Aveda Zara this thing that is our that is foreign to us that we picked up or our ancestors picked up that we we've been using to cope with the atrocities of golus and to feel safe and just and secure and we have to realize that when we finally Discover it when you find that Salem you have to say no it's not mine the rage the lust the fear the lying the deceit the the people pleasing whatever the these male adaptations are they are not authentic to us they do not come from our nashama and we have to say we're going to be the ones to get rid of it we're the ones who will Purge it and clean it we are the last generation of golus the first generation of gula we will clean it and not hand it on to our children so I said to this woman we got to get rid of this thing your your grandmother needs to be set free who's too busy I called him up I said you got to help this woman we got to set this grandmother's name free he said I'm dealing with with he says it's the nine days it's the air of nine days I'm dealing with all the questions with with showers and FIFA and Mikvah and he says it's the busiest day of the year for me I said okay as soon as you can please look it up you have to instruct this woman at any rate so he did and he told her the same thing you told her three years ago it wasn't actually worshiped so you don't have to destroy it just sell it get rid of it do it now so the next day she's in front of the pawn shop and I get a WhatsApp saying I can't do it again she's freezing she's freezing and this is what happens to all of us when we identify the Aveda Zara we freeze we're so horrified by it we can't part with it instead of releasing it we hold on to it and then what happens just like this woman with the tail limit in her glove compartment we think we've hidden it but really we run the risk of our children finding it and thinking we worship it if you have this character defect this Aveda soda whatever it is the rage the lust the anger the the lying the deceit the people pleasing all these different all these different adaptations if you're carrying one of these in your family line and you try to suppress it and ignore it and pretend it's not there you keep it hidden in your glove box all that's going to happen is you run the risk your children eventually will discover that it's there and they'll think you actually worship it they'll think it's actually your God foreign what does it mean they'll think it's your God they'll think that that's where you get Safety and Security from instead of from Hashem so I told her you're going in that store right now you're getting rid of it because we're going to purify your grandmother your pure nashama of your grandmother is still carrying this this tumor you're going to be the one to clean it she needs a tahada she needs to be cleansed okay fine she comes out two minutes later from the pawn shop it's over she says you know how much the pawn broker gave me 40 bucks and she says to me memsa the units of measure of water in a Mikvah she says toher my grandmother's Soul was cleansed I said you bet she is now take the 40 bucks take it to a real Mikvah and give it donated to the mic for now and this is what happened last week [Music] [Applause] this is not one person's story this is all of our stories Maybe your story isn't that your family comes from Morocco and moved to Brazil maybe your family was from Poland or Lithuania or Yemen or Syria or Germany Tunisia maybe they didn't move to Brazil maybe they moved to France maybe they moved to England maybe they moved to America maybe they moved there to throw we all have different details to our stories maybe you're not descended for norahima kadish but surely you're descended from avram Malaya and maybe it's not a Salem maybe it's something else but whatever it is whatever it is that you're carrying because the gullus was so unbelievable unbelievably difficult for you or your ancestors deal with and they picked up some type of defense mechanism that the ego thought would make it safe and now you identify that character trait and you say I'm not carrying this forward anymore I can't be the one to hand this on to my children again you are the last generation of gallows in the first generation of Gola this is the cleansing generation emotional health wasn't really something people discussed in previous generations you know why because they were in survival mode but now we're in the generation where we have to focus on the deep cleaning and getting rid of anything that's left over anything that we or our parents our grandparents or great-grandparents or any of our ancestors picked up along the way to cope with and to cope with gullies any of these defense mechanisms any of these Character defects now is the time to release it foreign it's as simple as that don't have to fight it don't have to Grapple with it you don't have to make it your full-time occupation it is not authentic to you so just just release it and invite the gang and then move move on move on racing your family with joy and with faith and one by one it's happening already I'm telling you it's not something that's going to happen it is happening families are healing families are cleaning the last remnants of gaulus it's Friday afternoon it's Friday afternoon you can smell the Shabbos Food the Shabbos table is set yeah we're still running around it's still a little bit hectic getting rid of getting ready for the last things that we can do to prepare but it's also we can feel the peace the peace is about to set in we're right we're almost there we're almost there I want to wish each of you who's joining me right now that you should experience personal healing your families should experience personal healing and cumulatively the entire world should experience the ultimate healing yes [Music] I weep with you now you shall I'm purses to remember [Music]