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Tisha B'Av Program 2023,
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Let's Get Real with Coach Menachem Tish BAv Program Rabbi Heshy Kleinman Rabbi Dov Greenberg Rabbi Gershon Schaffel Rabbi Uri Lati Rabbi Daniel Glatstein Rabbi Shais Taub Donate here: https://bit.ly/3NJMfmS
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[Music]
passed away what if a student began his
husband with the posseque
to inform the people about the impending
destruction of the base of English but
he did not tell
to say the word the base of English is
going to be destroyed
instead the Haskell was told to stand in
front of the people and to let out a
very bit of sigh and when the people
would see that they would understand
they would know that there's terrible
news that would cause everyone's Hearts
to melt and everyone's hands to become
weak the students said we see from here
that there are no words that can
adequately describe the enormous tragedy
of the Hogan abayas similarly said the
student with regard to his review
cannot adequately describe the feelings
of the loss that we have
in our case in our generation in our
time
unfortunately we also cannot feel the
loss the enormous loss of the base of
Magnus but it's not because it's
something that we experience and the
loss is so enormous that we can't put it
into words words would limit the
feelings of our loss it's just the
opposite to the contrary unfortunately
we've never seen the tremendous Nissim
the tremendous Miracles that occurred
that existed in the base Amigos
just like if you would try to describe
to an 18th century person they couldn't
yearn for electric light bulbs or for
air conditioning on a very hot sultry
summer's day it's not something that
they experience they cannot comprehend
and therefore in our case the base of
English no one has ever seen the Nissan
no one ever heard the abused his name
emerged from the lips of the Korean
Kippur no eyes experience when client
Israel prostrated to the ground and all
together as one said Baruch
we cannot fathom what it means that the
ability is not with us meaning that the
presence of the screener is not here
with us it's not something that's
revealed for everybody to see
so the question is
we have to be able to rebuild the base
to make this how do we do that if we
cannot feel the presence of the
ablestone if the abuse's presence is
hidden in nature and material things
in the way the world the normal
operations of the world
how do we
how can we actually feel the loss how
can we feel that the abuses presence is
here to be able to connect and to
rebuild the base of English
truth is that with the base of English
was standing the feeling of the abuses
presence was so significant it was so
vivid it was so real
it was so clear that it inspired when
people would go to you
they would feel the abuses presence and
they would want to do sugar for a
various that they may have done that's
how Vivid that's how real the tangible
feeling of the abuses presence was in
the world
and now unfortunately with the
destruction of the basement gosh our
awareness and our relationship who has
suffered it's weakened the ABC's
presence is very hidden from us it's
hidden in nature we cannot connect to
him
our relationship with shrouded in the
confusing events of the physical world
of the material world and of the natural
phenomena
and despite the fact that there's so
much learning Hashem
in today's generation and today's day
and there's so much Hashem going on
we still suffer because we cannot
connect we have difficulty connecting
with the ABC's presence
as it was so vivid in the time when the
basement stood
a recent article written in December of
2022 by Rabbi Simon Russell who's an
LCSW and he said based on his actual
experience treating people
there's a new phenomena he describes it
inert Israel he said it didn't exists in
Lakewood it exists in Brooklyn and in
other places
and he talks about the mostly 60 of
today's students they are the students
in the middle they're not the ones
excelling they're in the middle
and therefore they're still from they
still keep Shabbos they don't do tattoos
he writes in his article and they aren't
angry or rebellious
the problem is that there's no passion
there's no sense of mission or purpose
in their spirituality in their roughness
in fact he's calling the phrase he's
called him on the Derek but uninspired
Jews
so we we suffer the fact that we do not
see the Vivid presence of the abusive
screener
so the question is how do we recapture
that
and in order to build the basement
because it's something that we're going
to have to experience
how are we able to do that how can we
rebuild the base of Magnus if it's
something that we do not feel
so I'd like to share with you an idea a
thought
and the thought is about when Slimer
Miller built the base Amigos
he obviously is the one who built it
but in several places you find that
daughter Mella has associated with the
building of the base Amigos
and the question is how could that be
the one that built it
is
the question
he Sanctified the base of Indus was he
Madness did he sanctify only the tiles
of the base of the floor or was he
Magnus that they made this all through
the ground of the place where the base
of understood
that's a very puzzling question that the
Gomorrah asked because as I just
mentioned the one that built the base of
English
so what's the tomorrow's question when
governor was magdish he's not the one
that built the base amigdus
and that's Tyson's question
answers that it's true
built the physicality because of the
base of Ignus
what does that mean so I once served
from a restaurant reisman the following
explanation
there are two parts to the base of Indus
there's the physical part the stones the
beams the curtains the tiles of the base
Amigos that's the hitsonius the outer
part of the base of English
and then there's a second Paul the
second part of the base of English is
the premius the essence the caducea
that's devotion the longing the CP silly
Yeshua did you long for the return of
the Gullah
of the basement
you find a similar concept
when the third base submitage will be
rebuilt in one place it's masma it seems
that will come in our samayam and the
other place it appears that we have to
build it that's a contradiction do we
build it or does something that comes
from heaven
and the answer is I believe with the
saying you side
that the premius will come in our
samayan the caducea will come down yes
we will build the Chinese we will build
the outer whatever is necessary to
rebuild the stones and the building of
the base amigdus but the premius the
essence delayed the heart the desire the
longing the yearning
the connection that we have with the
screener that will be something the
screener will be brought down Minnesota
in our day and age we also can connect
with the premiers of the screener if you
will
we can do that
by connecting with the concept of
the less Posse is
we're asking the Avista that we should
do sugar
and we should connect we should be
inspired in our sugar and return to him
like it was all the way in the beginning
with the abuses presence was Vivid was
real was literally almost tangible
if we go back to another time in Jewish
history where we also have to do
children
you know what that was I'm referring to
the time of Purim
in the time of Purim de gamara says
something that is very astonishing
you know what enabled Claudia Israel you
know what inspired Clyde Shelton at the
time of the story of Purim
it was not the fact that all the Nivea
had prophecy destruction if we didn't do
chuva
then a VM or then
removed his ring
the ring with the Signet that if he
would have sealed the document then
Homan hirosha would have been able to
have to Solemn start to destroy Israel
when Claud Israel saw that
then they did chuva so the obvious
question is the navient they will
believe totally and completely
everybody knew that what the novem said
was with ruach
and yet Claudia show was not inspired to
do true but based on what they heard
from the Nivea there was no doubt that
it was true
but yet they weren't inspired they
weren't moved to go to the next level of
caduce
and to connect and to do chuva
when were they able when were they
inspired when they experience
removing that ring from his finger about
to seal the letter and to seal the fate
of the Jewish people
that's when they realize you know
something we need to change course we
need to do something different
and therefore they did Hashem we know
the rest of the story
it's true we don't have the Nissan that
existed during the base of Midas when it
was here when Claudia saw Jews would go
to Salim
and they were so taken so inspired they
were in awe of the nation that they
heard that they saw that they
experienced
and they wanted to do Chua for any other
barriers that they have we do not have
that we are not
to be able to see to witness the nation
but we can and we are to experience out
of ordinary situations
that we can see the abused his presence
you know when things happen
run-of-the-mill the usual then we chalk
it up to the usual it's nature we
we lose sight of the avista's presence
we know intellectually theoretically
runs the world
but that's not enough
for a thought to get someone to change
his behavior for the better
it must be something that is
when we experience the out of ordinary
protests that's the first step
in starting to reconnect with the
abusive protest and his presence
to start to get closer in our
relationship
to be able to go beyond just doing
mitzvah's
doing it by Road
it's a mystery true but there's so much
more we are able to do
and if we want to be able to rebuild the
base of migdash
we have to be able to connect
to be able to feel what it means that
the abuse that is present in our world
and again we cannot feel the Nissan to
that
but the Milo of the niece and the
advantage of the nation was it was out
of the ordinary it's almost like it's
the wow moment something happens and you
stop that in your traction you go wow
wow did you see that
we can have a glimpse into that
experience we can feel it to the degree
that it's possible and it is very
possible
that so-called well moment as well when
we experience out of the ordinary
situations
so I'd like to share two suggestions by
God Island throughout the recent let's
call it 70 80 years
as to how we can connect with this idea
of connecting with the avish's presence
is
and again if we can connect with the
natural phenomena we get up every
morning and we say the breakfast in the
morning and we have food to eat and all
those wonderful Assad
that we are able to experience but
unfortunately gets lost in the natural
running of the day
but if we can connect with us mama she
can literally see the Yad Hashem you
stop that in the attraction you say wow
did you see that may not be an S but
it's definitely out of the ordinary
it can move us it can Inspire us to say
that was the other side
there were so many stories I'd like to
share a few of them with you
the first one is about a man who goes to
a kosher food Expo and he's got coffee
beans that he wants to show he wants to
be able to portray what's that's
hispanosa
he goes to the kosher food Expo and
literally nobody signs up to be a
customer of this very deflating feeling
he's wasted time money effort
I didn't get anywhere
so he goes in his car and he heads home
and he's going in New York City on the
FDR Drive
a very heavily traveled Highway
and he looks for the nearest gas station
because he realizes he's low on fuel in
his car
and when he looks away for that moment
the car in front of him
slows down and he
unfortunately crashes into that car
Hashem nobody is hurt walks out of the
car it's a luxury car and the woman
driving in the car in front of him comes
out and said you see what she did he
said the I'm sorry it's my fault no
problem we'll call the insurance
companies let's just give it a couple of
minutes until the cops come
so the woman says to him listen you know
you were going rather fast he said I
know my my mind wasn't in it and I just
came from a kosher food Expo and I I it
was I didn't get anywhere I didn't make
any business I feel so deflated
and she happens to say to him
I happen to be a representative
of several very large supermarkets would
you like to show me what your product
looks like
not believing like what's happening he
goes to the trunk of his car and he
takes out the products
he shows her the coffee beans
she likes it so much and she says you
know what I'd like to buy these as
representative of the big supermarkets
that I represent
it's flabbergasted he goes to the Food
Expo and nothing this is a wild out of
the ordinary experience it's not an s
accidents do happen
people do speak after crashing one car
into the other
but it's out of the ordinary
it's not your usual occurrence
and what are the odds that the person
that you happen to crash into happens to
be someone that can help you out in your
panosa
the makeup to meet in our office the
next day he goes down there they sign a
contract
what a wonderful
protest moment
we can't say no that's nature it happens
you know what I mean on its own by
itself it's a coincidence
this is the avist working
to get him hispanosa
another story
was the future Alta of Nevada becomes
engaged at the age of 18.
now he wanted to learn but unfortunately
his future father-in-law is nifter
and he's left now
to see to it that there's Panacea for
his mother-in-law
her eight children and his wife
so he has to go to work
at the age of 27 he takes a trip to the
town of Israel salanta he goes to memo
on a business trip
he together with hundreds of people are
descending from the
car from the railroad car
and at the other end of the station the
Israel Bistro salanta standing there
you saw solantha's eyes start to focus
on this individual running
he has a reddish beard and he's running
with his Weirs under his arms a lot that
goes over them and says where are you
running young man
so the young man television I'm running
to make a panosa and he tells it what
happened
I'm the one who's off Roy I'm
responsible for my mother-in-law for my
wife and for the eight children
I have to make a panosa
service looks at him and says it's true
you have to make a panosa you have to
tend to your needs you're right
but you have greater needs after 120
years of a less for eternity
you will be there you will be living
there longer than you will be living
here
and therefore what about those needs
those stalk words pierced Rabbi Joseph's
heart literally to the Core
and he resolved at that time to attend
review
in the great synagogue and mammal
and after listening to 13 schmoozing 13
lectures who made a momentous decision
that affected thousands in Clause Israel
he closed his business he put aside a
certain significant amount of money
towards his family needs
and he joined Ruby Soul salantis
coilover learning literally 18 hours a
day
from that he became the Alton of navadik
who literally positively affected
thousands upon thousands
if you do imagine that
it shows a lot that happens to be at the
rail station at the same time that the
train happens then he happens to focus
on one individual
another story
the future has some save the moisture
safer is eager to get married
so they look into a certain young lady
and he would like to get engaged to her
she's a very fine character and he also
figures out he'll be able to continue
learning Toyota
and
it becomes a horse and his mother is not
for the
the mother finds out that there are
certain facts that they were unaware of
number one she's a widow number two she
was older than her son
the future she didn't want it not only
that some Cyprus Rebellion Robin Austin
Adler and the huffler
two of moisture sofa's Rebellion were
also against it for other reasons
he writes the letter to ramnost and he
waits and he waits and he waits for the
response doesn't get a response he's
confused he's uncertain what should he
do he goes ahead with the sheriff
he receives a return letter from his
ready urging him to terminate the sitter
but the future because I'm safer saw the
protest he was already married
and the fact that the letter came too
late was a semen assigned to him that
what he did is something that he had to
do
another story the small grinderman once
traveled to collect money for the Raven
Yeshiva
and they went to a wealthy individual
who was going to give a lot of money and
they decided to stay a little bit longer
to count the money
and by doing so they got to the train
station a little bit late and they had
to wait they missed their train back to
rather than they had to wait four hours
what do we do representative
said don't worry with the abused his
help it'll be fine
sure enough 10 minutes later here comes
the Train the train comes back the train
that left which they missed comes back
why so they used to conducted the
conductor said there was a junk show
where I was supposed to go left
and for some strange inexplicable reason
the train went right
so I had to turn around and come back
miracle
time says no
when a Jew does things with Shema for
the sake of heaven without any personal
motives he is guaranteed that I could
debug will arrange all the possible
circumstances for his benefit
even if it means getting a train to come
back
these are some of the let's call it
Vivid situations of the Avis house
protests and when we see them it
registers at the time wow that's Yara
said while the train comes back
the guys in the accident now has this
panasa some Cipher marries the color
and then it turns out the rebbe said no
but he was already married
these are situations that are Beyond
Comprehension they're not niece him
but they are beyond the usual day-to-day
phenomena
and therefore we can more clearly
connect with the presence of the Avista
it means that the Avista runs the world
and one can connect and say wow
I'm going to elevate my ruachness
when we clearly see the arasan
then that inspires us
but the problem is when these moments
occur
at the moment we might connect but then
we lose sight of them
so I'd like to share with you another
idea
in 1984 ramosha Feinstein pravyakov
kamonesky both wrote The Following
they advocated that a person should keep
a personal journal to document instances
of protests in their life
and by doing so they'll be able to go
back and to re-read it and to live it
and to experience it once again
and they weren't the only ones who made
this suggestion levinstein
would
suggest to his young daughters
in fact he would incentivize them he
would give them an incentive
keep a personal Journal whatever
something happens that you recognize
where you experience where you are
witness to Yad Hashem write it down
keep track of it
and you know what will happen
so I'm old enough to remember the
following you may not be
I remember when Polaroid camera came out
you can open take a picture remember
cameras I don't know if we have that
nowadays anymore
you take a camera you take a picture you
open up the back
and the film would be there
they called it the 60-second land
Polaroid Land Camera
and you would leave it there for 60
seconds
and you know what would happen during
those 60 seconds the picture would
develop
a little piece a little dot another Dot
and after a while all the dots converge
and you have a very clear picture
this is that idea
write a personal Journal of the
situations where you experience
by doing so it'll become one two three
stories four stories they don't have to
be long they don't have to be Miracles
just something out of the ordinary you
happen to have met someone that's an
example of the arasan extraordinary
situations
keep track of that you will start to be
connected with the presence of the abuse
there on a day-to-day basis
you'll be able to accomplish to a
limited degree but it's a start
to be able to see out of them similar to
what Claudia show was able to see when
they went up to saliva the base of
Memphis was standing
because it will need sin
and it was the feeling of everyone
together we can do something very
similar
and I will say that it's not going to be
enough
how can we build a base Amigos with
experiences like that even as only the
start the foundation the beginning of
connecting or being aware of the arashem
so you know something
people make a mistake
our job is not to accomplish
our job is to do
to the famous story with the Mr meliora
of destler
in 1939 the summer of 39 Rob destler's
wife and daughter goes to Lithuania to
visit the family
and we know what happened
World War II broke out Rob Deshler was
unable to be to see his wife and
daughter for six years
and he wondered why they able to doing
this why am I able to be alive and but
separated from them
and two years later in 1941 rub destler
gets a letter
his letter is from rub dog's Ryan
said
and he has a novel idea the letter says
I'd like to start a kylo
during World War II
in England where there are bombs falling
the letter was sent to 22 rabbanim
18 of them did not respond
three of them responded very nice idea
I'd love to do it but hey you know
there's a war going on
is the only one that responds thank you
so much of thinking of me when do we
begin we can make
did not think it would succeed that's
not the reason why he wanted to
participate
rap Tesla would later say
that and he would frequently quote his
great grandfather would be so solante
and here's what he would say
Darkness Upton
ish
basically what that means in English is
our job is not to accomplish
our job is to do
our job is not to be among the naysayers
and say well so what am I going to I'm
going to keep a journal of myself how
are they going to build a base of
English
each individual has their ability
to do what Their Accra is what their
responsibility we need to do imagine if
somebody says we want to build something
it'll be beautiful whatever it will say
yes I want to pitch in can you imagine
if I told you the base of me the snail
that's right today it's outside and they
need people to contribute we would run
I want to give this I want to have a
yacht in the basement but it's no I want
to have a yard well guess what
we can have a yacht as well now
but you'll ask well that actually be the
building of the base of Indus
but I mentioned before the toastness
there are two parts to the base Amigos
there is the stones the curtains the
tiles that's not our job
it's true
then claw Israel will build it
but as individuals as individuals part
of the collectively Israel our job each
individual responsibility like rub
destler said why he participated
in the coil in the time of War he did
not join the naysayers he said yes I'm
going to do what I can do
quoting his great-grandfather the
haliger'll be so salante because our job
is not to accomplish that's the Aegis
the job
our job is to do
I want to leave you with one last point
if you think
that we cannot literally
do and even accomplish when making a
mistake
foreign
Worthy
so even even if the generation is
the Avista will bring them to children
and therefore once that happens
from the highest place
can you imagine we do our part
and we build the premius we start to
connect with the abuses presence it's
true we don't have Nation we don't we're
not Judah to Miracles and it's true the
other end of the spectrum the typical
day-to-day situations are difficult to
connect to cdavis's presence
he's hiding the screen
but we can connect with the out of the
ordinary wow moments
and we can keep a journal of that
and similar to what happened in Vanessa
Purim
where Claudia because they were inspired
when they saw King ahas Vegas about to
sign the letter that decreed to
annihilate Israel
we can experience our own experiences
why do we have to have melancholica
hormone a difficult King that will push
us to do Cuba out of fear
let's Elevate ourselves let's Inspire
ourselves to be connected with the
abusive presence with these out of
ordinary experiences that each one of us
that's right you're driving in the car
you met someone you heard something
all these are yadasem
Hashem
if we will keep a journal so we do not
lose sight of the moments and we start
to connect the dots like the old
Polaroid Land Camera we can make a
beautiful picture
when the dots connect
it'll be the picture of the yadashem of
the avish's presence it'll be as close
as we can to experience the Nissim that
they had in the big doors
and then that's what's it will elevate a
level of the Moon
something that we feel the ultimate
Center of your body is the ultimate
amuna
and that's because and with the fact
that hopefully we will be the doors says
on the shamas comes from the highest
place
we will be able to be zoka to bring the
gaula to do the tuba to connect with the
English as much as is necessary
and then they will say about our
generation
that generation they were the ones that
was over to build to rebuild the
basement
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
hey friends here is a profound and
moving idea
from our tradition about Toshiba on Tish
above
we commemorate The program-based Amigos
the destruction of the temple and Jewish
sovereignty incredible devastation
so if we want to know how to deal with
Urban a little bit
a very good way to do it is to go back
into Jewish history and find when is the
first time destruction all of
unarticulated and how do we respond to
it
the first time
this concept comes up
is when God first created the world the
medrish says
that it's not simply that God said let
there be merely came and God said that
there should be a beautiful world and a
beautiful world emerged now it happened
differently says the medish and
biracious rabba
it's also quoted in gemara
that's
amazing
God built a world but the world wasn't
good enough was destroyed
built another world wasn't good enough
destroyed again and again and again
finally A Beautiful World emerged by
yarily kimchi tave Hashem so A Beautiful
World it was a good one said ah this is
a good one so this Madras is very
audacious what are the sages trying to
tell us
Shem built but it didn't come out good
enough it failed so we needed to do many
tries when it comes to human beings and
human invention because we are limited
and fallible so the road to Discovery
is littered with trial and error with
destruction with bad models bad
prototypes you have to iterate again and
again in Silicon Valley they say we
pivot
something you build it it's not good so
you need to build again
what does it mean that God couldn't get
it right what what's the shot what's the
meaning so in the medrish and in other
places also based on the rambams the
answer is very beautiful of course gods
could have built the world the first
time perfectly no question
a human being
slaquel to model our behavior on God
my gods
so God did not want to create a world
perfect the first time and that should
be the model because in our world that's
never what happens in our life
we build
and we fail we work hard to build our
own life our character our marriage
and then Things Fall Apart in real life
there's a Corbin you're buying you work
hard to create something and then it
falls apart so it could be a person is
going to work hard to build it could be
a business it could be
something spiritual
and then destruction happens mistakes
are made bad things happen
and then the person is full of Despair
he says look such a catastrophe if we
happened and and I'm guilty
I can't recover from this this is going
to Define me I'm trapped in the urban
for the rest of my life my wrong my
addiction my problem is going to Define
me
so what Hashem wants every human being
to know is
that when you build in life when you
work hard to do something what is good
right
and then
there's destruction don't give up learn
from Hashem does Hashem give up now they
nailed me after a corporate so if you
work hard in life you want to have a
certain condition in your life you want
to have something beautiful and there's
this failure don't give up wake up the
next morning and say I'm gonna after the
hormone I'm gonna be waiting again I'm
going to build again I'm gonna create
something new again that's very powerful
that's very realistic so yes there's a
moment of tragedy yes there's a singular
day of Tisha above where we reflect on
what went wrong but the primary thrust
of yiddishka and of Tehran is to focus
on how to rebuild after the urban that's
what Hashem teaches us that after the
hormone you have been able
all of Jewish history is built on
courageous daily Israel courageous
Jewish leaders
and also individuals who after
tremendous Devastation didn't surrender
to defeat but they had the courage like
a lion to get up the next morning and to
rebuild and there's a beautiful example
in the gemara the gemara in
um evamus
I think it's a round of Summer
tells us a very powerful story of ABI
Akiva
some of the story is known but some of
the details are not known not so famous
the Great
influential
mind of the second century molded so
much of yiddishkaits of Jewish thought
and practice
he Not only was in the was he
individually so great but he also raised
and educated 24
000 talmudi rabi Akiva disciples who
were extraordinary people
and these are all the leaders of the
Next Generation 24 ounce we all know to
educate one child properly is very very
hard
so imagine the sleepless nights of rabi
Akiva to educate the mechanic 24
000. should say about them that they are
Kami de rabi Akiva so imagine they're
they're Terror they're London
unbelievable 24 000 and then suddenly
tragedy struck and they all died all 24
I mean akiva's whole life's work Up in
Smoke Corbin could you imagine God
forbid imagine a loss of one child 24
000 tell medium that he loved that he
worked for for decades all gone
he wasn't 20 he wasn't 30 he wasn't 40.
he wasn't 50. you know how old he was he
was 80 years old when that event
happened
imagine the destruction that was in fact
the Gomorrah says
in describing this situation
the whole Jewish world was devastated
there was no future it was a destroyed
world
that they keep a woke up the next
morning says and he started to walk
through all of Heritage Israel searching
for little little new students who we
can raise and teach them Taira and
yiddishkite in a way that they will be
able to carry the burden which was very
difficult of the Jewish people and raise
the Next Generation and it says he found
five Young disciplesi
five
and he educated them and with these five
talmudim he rebuilt all of Jewish
history if you look into the Madras if
you look in free
you can't turn a page without bumping in
to some of these tell me them in fact
all of halacha basically follows
because that the majority of mishness
the author is Rob Mayer that's one of
the disciplesh is the author of the
Kabbalah the Jewish mystical tradition
so you have two of these talmudim one
with the leader the leadership role in
terms of Jewish legal thought the Mishra
one Kabbalah Jewish mystical thought
so here you have rabi Akiva
go at the age of 80 years old everything
went bankrupt destroyed Corban but he
understood that he's not going to be
defined by that even though his whole
life's work went up in smoke but to be a
Jew is to wake up until the dam is local
to say I'm gonna be God like I'm gonna
have superhuman strength I'm gonna look
forward to the future and I'm Gonna
Change the Future how does a human being
do that
when big tragedy happens how do you
because
you see a human being could do two
things a human being could look back at
the past and sit and fetch about it and
feel sad about the past
and ask why did this happen to me
and always Define Yourself by the past
but human being has a unique capacity
because they have an ashama to look into
the future not the past the past you
can't change but to look into the future
and say not why did this happen to me
but now that this this did happen to me
what am I going to do differently what
am I going to change in the future to
build a different future so you can look
back at the past at a tragedy and an
addiction at a sin at a mistake got a
destruction and always
Look Backwards or you could say I'm an
architect of a new future I'm going to
build a new world now based on the
mistakes I'm going to learn from them
I'm going to build something new and
Powerful
because many in America today look at
themselves as a football
they're an object they're an object that
gets kicked around by faith or genetics
or environment or the Yeshiva it's
different people's fault I'm a football
I'm being kicked around and I'm a victim
Akiva looks at it differently he's not a
football he's a quarterback so to speak
quarterback doesn't say yeah quarterback
says the balls in my hand I'm gonna I
have a goal a goals and now I'm gonna
move a whole team I'm gonna move to
Victory because I choose where to move
and how to
how to develop a victory so that's what
a human being has the capacity to say
I'm a quarterback I could determine the
future because after destruction I could
be Baylor Illinois I could rebuild
beautiful worlds whatever mistake I'd
did no matter what type of Devastation I
come from the Jewish people as a nation
as call Israel and a Jew individually
like Rabbi Akiva has the capacity to say
tomorrow is going to be something
special and beautiful
there was a
uh it was a community back in Russia
Ukraine
where
there are many many a big Chabad
community
and it was called Kharkov
fine
now at the time
the rabbi his name was shalim Devar
Shalom
he was far away from Kharkov getting
medical treatment so he was far away
from cargo so it was far away from the
big Jewish City and for most of them
wherever he was at the time came to
visit him to speak to him he had some
question to ask
Etc
came to the river
what's going on
so the person that you want to know
what's going on in Hanukkah the learning
is very weak
ening going to the shoals it's not uh
it's not real you don't see that you
don't feel the draco's you don't feel
like
I'm also very weak there's not enough
there people are narcissistic a bit
so
ber shop said okay
and thank them
a few hours later another Jose came in
foreign
coin token of appreciation okay
a few hours later these two encounter
each other the night they start to
schmooze and they repeat what happened
their interaction
so the one who said that heck of they
don't learn so good they don't dance so
good he was very upset
I didn't get a gold coin in the other
concert gave the beautiful report got a
golden coin he's upset so he runs back
to the web he knocks him on the door
comes and he tells that everybody says
it's not fair it's not yaisha this is
what's not Yoshi he says the other guy
come came in and he tell you all
beautiful things about Harker he gave
him a gold coin he says I told you the
truth about Jacob I gave you the real Ms
my report was the true report I told you
I was military and you don't give me a
gold coin why
looks at him with a smile and tells him
you think I don't know what's going on
in Krakow
I know very very well what's going on
I just wanted to see
in what Clerk of do you live
[Music]
and that's a question that we really
face every day each of us and what we
choose to live
we can choose
to look back at our life and say I live
in harkov of Destruction I live in
because I know myself and the truth is
I've destroyed things and because I
destroyed
maybe things in my own life and in
others I'm gonna Define Myself by that
and then I live
but every day
we also could wake up and say I choose
to live in a beautiful heart of the
heart of Arabia the Kharkov that we
learned who builds that after there's
the urban our life needs to be dedicated
every moment every dot we learn and
every mitzer we do to bring the ilum US
to be building a beautiful gracious and
godly world
oh
[Music]
another year has passed and we find
ourselves once again being Miss Abel and
you shalim
the Gomorrah babadama base famously says
that the reason why your slime was
destroyed according to the mask on of
the Gomorrah is
is only because carliso at that time so
they were insistent on adjudicating
undeciding matters related to Hoshi
mishba related to monetary disputes
between one another according to dintora
and they were unwilling to go ahead and
goli film
go beyond the letter of the law in order
to accommodate for uh for another
in tulsos they are right away asked he
says what are you talking about why is
gamara now giving a new explanation as
to why the base of mitos was destroyed
because we know the gumrah Newman
Testament Bay says that the reason why
the base of English was destroyed was
because of Cena srinam so if we have a
very clear reason in the gemara in Yuma
why the basement tissue was destroyed by
Sami was destroyed so why is it
necessary
to come along and give a second
explanation and also says
maybe it's that both of these factors
both Sina srinam as well as the refusal
to go within both of those were
contributing factors which led to the
destruction of the basement in the
destruction of you shall I
now number one is that seemingly Cena
srino is a much more severe Avera than
not going
within means I have my rights uh I don't
want to accommodate for you I don't want
to compromise with you I don't want to
forgo any of my rights in your favor I'm
going to be insistent on exercising my
rights so it's not necessarily the best
behavior that a person should follow but
to go ahead and say that that's a reason
for that's a factor as to why the base
of meekness was destroyed so that's
pretty severe we often struggle figuring
out why Sina is a reason for the base I
mean the base Amiga should be destroyed
but
is something which is pretty severe
where people hate one another but people
who insist on growing refuse to go leave
they insist on following din Torah and
don't want to compromise
okay it's not so nice but it's not so
it's not so bad this question uh uh
number one and number two is behal how
do we understand this idea that if a
person has a right to insist that the
money which is owed him should be paid
him so why is it so bad to go ahead and
not be willing to compromise on that let
the other person pay me what he owes me
why do I have to compromise why do I
have to go leave insurance that did in
order to accommodate for him let him go
according to din which is that he owes
me the money so the the notion that this
is grounds for you Shalom to be
destroyed is something which is a little
bit curious and in order to understand
the nature of the day of Tish above what
being we are being a missable over what
we are uh what we lost out when the base
of meters was destroyed was destroyed so
that's what we're going to try and
understand
and I think a good starting point a good
springboard to understand this is to
explore why it is decided when they were
sat down to figure out how we are going
to commemorate Corbin basalmentus the
fact that the basal mintus was destroyed
in the Kaiser was sent into gallus how
are we going to go ahead and commemorate
that how are we going to mark this uh
this tragic event in our our nation's
history what's going to be the practice
which we're going to adopt which is
going to express all of those emotions
decided to use as their model was Avalos
in choosing a Bayless is a very curious
thing because Avalos is generally
understood when a person dies when a
person is nifter so there's an avalis
process there's a morning process
there's a grieving process whereby we
come to grips with the new reality of
our loved one no longer being here
together with us in figuring out how to
navigate what's essentially a new world
without that loved one in in our
presence
so I could understand why it is that we
would go ahead and there's a concept of
Avalos for something which is so tragic
like the uh the loss of a loved one what
does that have to do with samitas is the
fact that we had a connection with that
and we had a place where we could go and
we could meet with who we could offer
corbanos we could secure forgiveness we
can do avoda in its ideal uh Manner and
now that place is no longer with us so
it's a tragic event what does that have
to do without what does that have to do
with Avalos we're not mourning
necessarily the fact that people went
ahead and died that's not uh that's not
the focus
and it's even more Curious when we think
about the fact that in the Phila of
nache which we say uh in the afternoon
we we asking us and say in the afternoon
of Tish above so we use the phrase
so those who mournc and More in USA line
so not being Mis over the people who
died when the base of Mythos was
destroyed and all those graphic
descriptions which
in in the kinos elaborate on in depict
for us the tremendous loss of life which
clients experienced at that time but
we're not necessarily being Mis over the
loss of life it's specifically something
something related to Sion and you
shalline so what exactly does it mean to
be missable to mourn over a city which
was destroyed in the base amitish was
destroyed it's tragic but why exactly
did hazal use the model of a Vegas to go
ahead and capture that
so I think part of that is to understand
what exactly is happening when a person
is nifter and the significance of that
in the on the spiritual level what
exactly is the importance of that in
what that tries to convey
and we know that there's bro who created
the world in this
tremendous tremendous Subway where one
of the things which is one of the things
which is stunning and absolutely amazing
is ability to link together both rookni
and gashmi something which is spiritual
together with something which is
physical
so when we say in the
brachim and then we conclude
um
so many of them are Fortune explained
that the ma Fleet lassos is the fact
that together with this physical body
which we have this behemothika body
which we have that there's a spiritual
Soul there's a Rufus element which is
fused together with the body a nishaba
which is taking me
from the highest levels of of
spirituality of rooknis right beneath
himself and he was able to combine that
in the summer into a body and we know
from any statements of hazal that it's
the existence of the nishama in the body
which animates the body that's what
gives life to the body that's what gives
keys to uh to the body is the fact that
the nishama is is there
and that's why it's clear from uh from
hazal that there has to be a nashama
inside of the developing fetus while
it's still inside of his mother's womb
because without the nishama there
there's no way the physical part of
their body will be able to exist will be
able to grow will be able to survive
so one of the most astonishing things
which exists in creation is not just the
physical creation which is certainly an
astonishing thing a wondrous thing but
on a rooknistical level what's most
stunning about all of it is the
combination of goof and the shama the
combination of rohni and goshami
spiritual together with physical
in death we know is marked by because
they're trying to measure it medically
and try and pinpoint exactly the moment
of death and that's for the post game to
go ahead and decide on a uh on a a
gasmus level at what point Allah is
going to say that a person dies but an
aruth level so we know what the answer
is we may not be able to identify when
exactly it occurs but we know exactly
what it is in death is the moment that
the nashrama separates from the body so
during lifetime we have rohni and
goshami fused together into one they're
intermingled into one they become one
and death is marked by the separation of
the nashama from the Goof and then shama
goes back to the various different parts
of the summer go to different places but
the nashama will just say very simply
goes back up to shemaim and the Goof now
becomes this inadequate piece of of just
uh goofing Goofy something which is just
gosh me something which is just physical
it doesn't really have any ideas to it
doesn't have any life to it anymore
because the nishama has left it and
that's what we go ahead and we Mark in
terms of the availas because we believe
that the national lives on then shama
goes up to shemaim then the shama goes
through its process what happens when it
gets separated from the the body the
nishama experiences pain many of the
halachas and many of the practice that
we have in the Shiva house are
specifically revolve around this idea
that the nishama is present
and we're trying to be be Menachem we're
trying to offer Comfort not only to the
survivors not only to the availability
but to the nisham itself which is pained
by the fact that it's been separated
from its body it's supposed to be
together with the body and we know that
body and soul nashama and goof are going
to be reunited one one once again for
eternity so that's the ultimate
existence the ideal existence is for the
rookni and the goshmi to be together and
therefore it's a tragic thing when
there's we have to experience for a
period of time the separation of the
Goof from the nishama
and that is ultimately what death is and
that's the tragedy of that is that the
the in the gosh we have been separated
from one from one another that we no
longer have access
to our ideal existence
and this is this idea is
not only limited to a person's body but
when you think about it so we know that
gazelle tell us in many places for
example that the base
that we have Apostle can tell him
means that there is a physical base
Amigos which exists here on ours there's
a sanctuary there's a place where where
we are able to go and connect with in
corresponding to that in shamayam
there's also a basamic dishes as well in
your shalim represents the place
where we combine together those two
things in the combination of the Besame
and the base is also a significant thing
because it creates a conduit through
which more rochnius is going to be able
to enter into our physical world and as
we said the purpose of the world is that
Fusion of together
and we need to make sure the ideal
existence is when those two things are
able to combine together and the
destruction of the base amigdas is a
circumstance
we're in we find out that the uh that
that connection which is the ideal
connection between
us below when that connection is severed
so again you can have left behind a
physical structure of a base Summit does
so you have the physical trappings of a
basameters but once the ruachness of the
base Amit is taken away but of course
says there's no longer room for me here
in this physical world based on what's
currently happening I need to go back up
to samayam so this is again a separation
of the nishama of the world from the
Goof from the physical trappings of the
world which was the base of mitesh
itself and when we see before our eyes
the fact that the base lost its rookness
quality it's characteristic and that's
all going back up to Sherman and now you
have just a physical based on meekness
down here which once it loses its
ruthless it it the uh the uh it could be
Droid it could be burned down to the
ground because it's lost it's Reus and
the source for their fears the rookness
has gone down back up to Sherman so that
is a grounds for Avalos that's a ground
the same reason why we're missed Abba
when a person passes away because the
rookni has separated from the Goof
because the spirituality has left from
the uh from the physical so horrible
represents a similar process where the
rookness didn't go away it just went to
a different place it went into a
different dimension it went back up to
shamaim and we mourn when things did not
exist in their ideal manner of nishama
and goof together
with gas means together but when the two
parts have to be separated from water
from one another that is the tragedy and
that is the loss of what we have
in that same phrase
which is used which is depicted by hazal
in some contexts to talk about the
Besame
so we find a similar thing that usual is
also a place which is meant to bring
together
the ultimate and claudi Israel which are
his his children
as it were but we are physical it by our
very nature in the place where we have
the opportunity the best opportunity to
be able to connect with rookie when
client Israel is able to connect is in
the basement itself that's where the
shrina is
says I'm going to take my divine
presence and I'm going to allow it so
I'm going to find a place for it to be
able to dwell here on Earth there on
Earth together with us call yourself so
we haven't we have an opportunity to
connect with our College Barco at that
time
represents not only the loss of the
connection between the Besame
but also represents the loss of us are
us Cloud yourself physical beings being
being able to connect with the ultimate
which is and that also is part of the
tragedy which which is there
and that's why the uh in the the field
of it says right after it says that
we're the the mourners of sionu shalai
it says
because you shalim is something which is
there in order to be able to bring
children into his domain into his place
so that we can connect with him so that
we as physical beings could connect with
him a spiritual being and we can have
that connection that my fleet La souls
are bringing us together
and once the base of Interest was
destroyed and once Harvard you shalim
you shalim was destroyed so they had
ability to connect the rookni and the
goshami was lost and that becomes the
novelist and you have a city of
yusheline which could be there but if
it's desolate of the Jewish people even
if the physical location is there is
that the caducea remains in place even
without a base and even without call
yourself being there but seeing the
physical trappings of you shalim without
her children being there without cloud
yourself being there and not being able
to be used for its design purpose to
create the connection between those of
us who are here on Earth those of us who
are physical beings together with the
ultimate Rooney
so that is the greatest tragedy which we
could experience
and that's why uh well with the clients
are of hazal shows the mode of availas
in order to capture the essence of what
is
about because all of their availas is
the separation of the nishama from the
Goof and samitas represents the
separation of the base of the base Amita
Sharma from the basamita Sharma also a
separation of rohni from ghashree and
that also is a tragedy of Israelite is a
place where where
are supposed to be able to meet where
the shrina is shower the screen is
supposed to reside and now that that
doesn't happen anymore that doesn't
exist anymore that opportunity has been
lost so it's an avalis for that
separation of rookni from gashway
but I think it's a little bit even
deeper than that and I think the deeper
part of that is is that we know that
there are certain Mitzvahs from which
McPherson tell us that they are Mitzvahs
which are not given to individuals they
can't really be fulfilled fully by an
individual these are crawliest dick of
type of missiles we need the the the
totality of Claudius throw in order to
be able to tap into that Mitzvah Shabbos
is one of those things matantoro was one
of those things before him say that
because didn't do a mountain Torah of
Rama vinu he didn't do it for you know
he didn't do it for Yakov you know he
didn't even do it for yakovino and the
chief take Card together because Martin
Torah the Torah is something which is
supposed to be experienced by Claud
Israel you need a nation of claw Israel
in order to be able to connect Arthur's
walk on table to receive his Torah it is
great as the avos were as great as the
shifter were as great as they as they
were they weren't Ami Israel they
weren't Claud Israel to be to the Torah
and we have many things which are like
that
who's
connection to Claudia Israel by allowing
in in sending his divine presence down
by entering into this physical world is
also one of those things which
necessitates Claus Israel as a whole the
same way by Martin Torah we know that
khazal teaches that the reason why it
was that it was able to be given is
because not only was there a cloudy soil
but it was
there was a Unity of purpose a Unity of
mind
a Unity of connection with one another
and therefore when everybody combines
together all of their co-hosts in all of
their potential and that combines
together so then we come become worthy
of the Torah because there's no one
person who can fulfill altario misses
because some it says are for a king and
some it says are for a coin in some it
says are for women and there's all sorts
of different Mitzvahs and it's
impossible for any one person to be able
to fulfill them all but we combine
together when we see ourselves as a
unified cloudy Israel as one is is a
unit of clause Israel so then we become
zoka to the Torah because the totality
of Kai Israel could go ahead and fulfill
the totality of Torah
and that's why the screen is something
which is so essential that even though
even on a minor scale the gemaran Sota
tells us that ishvish that when there's
a man and woman zahu if they Merit so is
able to reside in their home but if you
separate them out so if you have the ish
over here and the ish over there and
they're not combined together the
screener cannot reside in that house it
requires the joint effort of the two of
them together to bring our courage into
into their home and in the same way for
claw Israel in order to be worthy
recipients of abasamikdash of au Salim
the functioning you shalim and
is going to look down from and say
that's a place where I feel comfortable
that's a place where I uh where I look
forward to being able to connect
together with the the with Claire Israel
only when that happens does the shrina
does it feel comfortable and is it
willing to enter into our world
but when clay Israel don't want to go
ahead and do that when they refuse to do
that so then of course says if there's
no shalomy name if there's no peace
between them so then there's no place
for me here and I need to go back up to
my rooknis sticker place and we'll leave
behind the empty shell of the uh of the
of the Goof of a Besame without any
spirituality which could be destroyed
you could have your saline without your
children there
without her children and that's the
greatest tragedy and the greatest loss
which we could experience akin to the
loss of of a person
where uh it's a it's just an empty shell
of what was without it being used in its
ideal manner
in this idea of the unity of classical
and there are other uh places
where they use the same phrase that you
shalim is
it's a place where claisal is designed
to be haverimzelaze that they're
supposed to be friends with one another
like we say in uh
everybody is supposed to connect with
one another and this idea is expressed
very beautifully
I think by revolver when he talks about
where it says
where we say that the Torah is our life
and we need to think about Claudius
throughout in terms of being a living
organism
that's the muscle that that he uses and
when we think of uh of uh clientele as a
living organism so we know as an
organism as a body many times is used as
the muscle so body although it's
comprised of all sorts of different
parts different
so there's 630 different parts which
which combined make a body so one could
look at the person in terms of their
parts or one could look at them in terms
of the combination of all of that which
ends up making a singular goof and
really what we need to do what we need
to focus on is to realize that does not
want us to be 613 separate a Vari and
get in different parts of the the body
because Marco wants us to see ourselves
as part of a unified I am a unified life
which is all of the different parts
together the heart isn't life and the
Brain isn't life and fingers aren't life
and feet aren't life it's only when you
have all of those different things
together do we say a person is alone AI
is the person animate is a person
capable of achieving their uh their
potential and the phrase he uses this is
that we're talking about a person's life
we don't divide that into limbs we look
at life as the unified existence of the
thing all by itself
and that's really what the tragedy of
Corbin based samitas that's what hazal
are coming to teach us over here because
it's one thing to go ahead and say that
there's Sina when we hear that there's
the cause of the of the destruction
that's certainly true because
descend to such a point where they
despise one another they hate one
another so that we understand that
there's a loss of unity may say I don't
want to be interested
but it could be even more subtle than
that and I think that's what the Gemar
in bad Mitzi is trying to teach us that
it doesn't necessarily have to be a Cena
an outright hatred for one another
outright hatred is it's clear that
there's a disconnect between people
people see call yourself as a varum
rather than they see them as limbs
rather than as a as a unified that body
but it's even more subtle than that when
we realize that the when people say I
don't want to go ahead and compromise
I'm going to go according to DIN and I
don't want to go Leaf Neema sure then
what would be the reason that a person
is going to say I'm going to go only
according to din the strict letter of
the law this is what my rights are and
I'm going to exercise every single one
of them see the exclusion of growingly
that stems from a perspective where I
see myself as separate and apart from
you if I see myself as separate and
apart from you there's my interest in
your interests you are trying to
encroach you are trying to cross over
into my interest and I don't want to let
you do that I'm going to defend I'm
going to defend my rights financially
because those are my rights and those
are your rights and you are trying to
take away my rights I'm not going to go
ahead and let you take away my rights
they're mine and they're not yours so
when a person takes that attitude of I'm
going to go only according to din Torah
and I refuse to go
that's a recognition at the source if
you distill it out to the the attitude
to its source what that means is is I
see myself as separate and apart from
you there's mine and there's yours and
since you're trying to take mine I'm
going to refuse and I'm going to
exercise my rights that attitude doesn't
see us as unified together that attitude
doesn't see it says connected with one
another is somehow part of different
limbs of the same body and when Claudia
Soul adopts this perspective that
there's me and there's you and we are
separate they're separate uh separate
entities separate limbs there's the hand
and the foot in the hand is going to go
ahead and fight against the foot
because they have different interests
and they're both trying to get the same
nutrients in the same blood flow the
same as everything else and autoimmune
disease which is very dangerous because
the body ends up fighting itself so that
is what happens when Cloud Israel adopts
the attitude that they refuse to go live
and they insist on going only according
to uh to them
and that happens when we can't make
space for one another we can't be
understanding of one another we can go
ahead and accommodate other people's
opinions and other people's attitudes
and even other people's behavior
sometimes when we refuse to go ahead and
accommodate and to understand and to be
able to appreciate that there's
different people and there's different
Limbs and they have different functions
but they could all be part of the same
overall body when we lose sight of that
says this is essentially the same as
Cena that they're the same thing not so
much like toso says that their Zeb is
their go-rem but the fact that
ultimately stem from the same thing
means there's me and there's you and I
hate you and I despise you and obviously
you're separate from me if I could hate
you and the refusal to go listen even
means there's my rights and there's your
rights
should I go ahead and have to compromise
my rights to accommodate for you you
should be giving me what's due to me but
that attitude where a person says I have
my rights I'm going to insist on my
rights and I refuse to accommodate what
you want to do I refuse to compromise
with you because I'm I'm concerned with
my interest to exclusion of your
interest as soon as we see ourselves as
separate from one another there's a
breakdown in the activists as a
breakdown in the unity of Kalisto and
once there's a breakdown of the unity of
God you saw who says my shrina can only
reside in a place of Shalom but Sheena
can only reside in a place where is zaku
that they Merit have Shalom between them
he can only be in you shalim he can only
connect with call yourself when there is
a unified College
Israel says we're not unified I have my
rights and I'm going to exercise my
rights and I'm going to enforce my
rights and I'm not going to make any
space for you whatsoever I'm not going
to demonstrate any interest whatsoever
in your rights or your interests and I
refuse to compromise
then you don't have a body then you
don't have a living being which is claw
you throw and once cloudy Israel loses
their status as that is
a bunch of individual limbs which are
running around each one exercising in
the Rope their their own Pursuits and
their own interests and their own rights
because I don't want anything to do with
this this is not for me and I'm going to
take the rookies back up to shemaim and
I'm going to leave you there as a
separate body to go ahead and figure out
how to reconnect with one another how to
recreate that Unity whereby everybody's
willing to go live
you're willing to give and you're
willing to compromise and you're willing
to forego your rights because there's a
bigger picture which is more important
there's a bigger body which is much more
important than I is an individual cell
or I is an individual limb within that
body and if the body is going to be
healthy all the different parts and all
the different systems and all the
different organs ultimately they need to
get along with one another because when
that autoimmune disease exists when the
body is fighting within itself so that
becomes very uncomfortable very painful
and very difficult and that represents
an illness of the body itself
and that's what happened in the time of
corba Base Amigas that's what the gemara
in buddhisti is teaching us when says
that the reason why you shalim was
destroyed is because they insisted on
going according to DIN and they wouldn't
go the sadin and that represents at its
core
the inability of people to get along
with one another that represents a
breakdown of the actus and once there's
a breakdown of The Afters and we don't
have the status of Claudius throw
because Brooklyn says I'm going back up
to Shaman I will bring my screener here
into this physical world when you are
unified as a people but when you
Splinter apart and when you are
unwilling to compromise and unwilling to
go leave with one another I'm going back
up to sumain give me a call when you
figured it out when you've realized how
essential it is for the function of claw
Israel for the function of the universe
for the purpose of the universe and the
destiny of the universe for that actors
to be re-established and only once you
go ahead and you re-establish if you
could do your part of re-establishing
that actors repairing the sinus cleanup
like the Gabara in Yuma talks about and
when we could go then instead of
insisting on our rights
says then we can have a third base then
we could join together and bring things
back we don't have to be this above on
the separation of hakun from Claire
Israel and the loss of the srina leaving
behind a shell of a body which just
barely holds on to life which barely has
atheist to it
Butler says when you go ahead and you
could unify once again you can make all
of the necessary repairs then we'll have
a third base Amigos I will come back
into this world all of the ideal purpose
of the world will come back together
with the rookni and the gosh me the
physical and the spiritual fusing
together and unifying together once
again
we should be able to appreciate that and
we should realize that we can't expect
other people to go ahead and generate
the actors this is something which each
one of us has to do on our own we have
to make the effort on our own to be
compromising the integral
and to be understanding accommodating
and make space for other people even if
they're different from ourselves and
they may have slightly different views
from ourselves and they may see Torah
mitzvahs
from a different angle than we do but
ultimately with Shivani military we can
make we can accommodate the different
people who are loyal to Tori even with
the different nuanced ways that they go
ahead and do so and when we figure out
how to unify how to once again restore
is
that we will no longer have to be Miss
Abel availity of lime and we should all
be able to go back to shalim New York
Hashem of the Caribbean
[Music]
oh
dear friends
has passed
morning destruction of betamidash
weeping sitting on the ground
and unfortunately Marcia is still not
here
what are we doing wrong
they tell us
they tell us basis hatred
we're doing all that
not here why then is Hashem in every
building with Dash
so maybe we could offer an explanation
and we could still work on it and Hashem
could say at any given moment
The Madras says that one isab here is
that yaakov his father it's
says that there were three tears
involved one tear fell out of assaf's
left eye one tear fell out of ourselves
right eye and one tear was stuck in the
eye that didn't come down
because he cried and it says on him
also by the story of the megillah and
Estelle It also says and not only that
all the suffering and the pain and
tragedies and the problems throughout
the centuries of the Jewish nation and
Jewish history are all because of those
three tiers from
and the question is like this I saw in
one of the Hasidic Masters it escapes me
right now his name but he asks like this
he says we have a concept in our Judaism
in our Torah in the rules
which means in very simple limb in terms
the classic example we all know a drop
of milk falls in the bucket or in a pot
of meat if you have 60 times the meat
more than a drop of milk it's canceled
it's nullified you can eat the pot of
meat so how then these three tiers
weren't they canceled with all the tears
that we have shed throughout the
centuries
we didn't cry enough in the Holocaust we
didn't cry enough in the programs we
didn't cry enough and all the
annihilations and all the tragedies and
all the problems
those tears were not enough to cancel
out the tears of yourself how could it
be how could it be that still today is
still not rebuilt because the tears of
yourself are still not number four it's
still not canceled
it was a great red Bay and he once want
he want once to
um he went once part of me he went once
to a hotel and he wanted to stay there
for the night and the hotel owner he
gave him a very nice room Hospitality
everything very nice
and he's over there at 12 o'clock
midnight around midnight at night
and he hears the person next door in the
room right next door to him crying and
saying oh oh it hurts so much it hurts
so much now this rabbit said
unbelievable I hate the jackpot I won
the lottery I'm here next to one of the
subject team of the generation wow he's
for sure crying over the destruction of
the method mcdosh he's doing something
called
where every yehudi is supposed to wake
up approximately at midnight sit on the
floor and weep over the structure he
says for sure this is this is one of the
guys
five minutes pass and he hears even more
groaning and more moaning and he hears
the person say ah it hurts so bad make
it stop it hurts so bad the rabbit says
well unbelievable this is for sure one
of the 36 subject 36 hidden said they
came and the righteous people in the
century for sure
and the rep is so pleased with what he
hears five minutes passing he says he
hears the person next to the room next
door say ugh it hurts so bad give me
some Tums give me some Tums I shouldn't
have ate that oatmeal or I shouldn't
have ate that omelette before I went to
sleep I have so much heartburn
the urban says Ah those tears were in
vain I thought they were holy tears and
I come to realize and know and
understand there were tears in vain
the rabbi say
Isha was crying because of this world
because he was running after this world
gets all the blessings from his hack his
heart is giving him
it's all about this world ASAP says I
want this world that's what I'm crying
about
unfortunately when we cry we're also
crying about this world when do we
realize that we need better mcdash when
things that we have in this world are no
longer here when there's inflation and
problems in the stock market when the
tuition bill gets high when mortgage
rates get high interest rates gets high
then we start remembering so therefore
it's not canceled it's not nullified
it's the same exact ears
I once heard a story a very long time
ago details are not important but the
message Rings very true
there was a rabbit different River there
was a rabbit that had a person come to
him every single year and ask for advice
and he would come to him and he says buy
this stock buy that stock this is good
this is not good and the person would
leave not understanding how the rugby
would possibly know about stocks and the
business transactions of the world
but he trusted his rabbi one year this
person comes he says rabbit now what
what do I do now what stocks do you have
in mind he says I'm telling you put all
your money out of the stock market he
says we're talking about he says I'm
telling you pull all your money out of
the stock market it's fine rabbit I'll
do that but how do you know you know I
never had the audacity to ask you every
single year how do you know about the
stock market but how do you know I
should put my money out this year he
says because when you come right before
you every single year a very wealthy
philanthropist comes very wealthy
businessman comes and he tells me this
stock is good that stock is good he only
wants my blessing he knows I don't know
anything about stocks or Wall Street or
anything but he wants my bad he wants my
blessing and I give him however this
year he came and I asked him no let's
call him Reuben new Reuben how's it
going on Wall Street in the stock
markets and he turns to me and he says
what could I tell you we need mashiach
and when I heard him say we need
mashiach I understood that the stock
market is going to crash therefore I'm
telling you pour all your money out
we don't think about mashiach when
everything is good because we've become
so complacent so comfortable so numb in
the in the situations that we're in in
the in the environment that we're in
when do we start thinking about Michelle
like I said when push comes to shove
says the rabbi he says no no no that's
my the it's tears of Assam are not
cancel they're not they're not nullified
because they're carrying the same exact
ears
it's very hard for us it's very hard for
us when we say the amida we say it's
Sprout forth the coming of
you know just like you said it's very
hard for us to relate what is what is
mashiach in fact what is it it's very
hard for us to relate and to cry and to
constantly to have kavana in those words
but if we just think about something so
simple very tragic but so simple then
maybe we could start shedding tears
maybe we could start nullifying the
tears of isab crying about hashem's name
being desecrated instead of crying about
our own materialistic needs what it's in
it's for me what am I going to get when
mashiach comes maybe that's why every
year I was in the summertime why because
everybody's so hung up about their homes
their dreams their vacations Hashem says
what about my home what about the
shakina coming out from the dirt what
about the sugar coming out from the mud
why don't you think about that maybe
that's why it comes every year and comes
in the summertime because not about you
stop stop being so self-centered
egocentric only conceded thinking only
about yourself it's not about you it's
about Hashem what about hashem's home
what about 19 something years 1950
something years Hashem doesn't have a
home what about that
so something very simple tragic used to
always say look at the millions of
children that don't even know how to say
Shema Israel
how about that we should cry about that
but they don't even know how to sanctify
hashem's name unify hashem's name come
close to Hashem can we cry about that
can we cry about people they don't even
know they're Jewish they are they don't
even know that they're Jewish that's
something we should cry about when they
captured the in the six day Woman They
captured the kotel Dakota was back in
the hands of the Jewish people so there
were two students in Yeshiva one student
turns to another and says oh let's go
see the quote what remained of the
destruction of the beta mikdash of our
Holy Temple so his friend turned to him
he says you don't have to go to the
quota to see the destruction of the
temple just open your window and see the
people desecrating Shabbat people
walking around the street not even know
who knowing who Hashem is on that we
have to cry and if we acquire those
those tears we can nullify we can
nullify the tears of ourselves speedily
in our days we don't have to wait only
once a year to have to start remembering
oh we need mashiach we need the better
mcdash every single day we have three
times an opportunity
those words
concentrate on those words those words
concentrate to nullify the tears of
and to bring forth the coming of
mashiach in our tears of pure tears of
holy tears when we really cry because we
want Hashem to have a home again should
be spiritually in our days amen
[Music]
welcome back I'll be glasting to our
tissue book program
we've had this supposed to have her
blessing on
many times in our program and for tissue
box and here we are again in golus on
Tish above
we hoped we'll be in yerushalayim
and hopefully uh
it's gonna happen soon but as of now
here we are
so I would like to welcome welcome you
back Robert gladstein
Israelis de Ferris Mordecai in
Cedarhurst and Isabel Macabre swarm the
safer magazine and many books
the darkness and the dawn
for those who want to look for it and
get started
um Robbie Gladstone I know you just
finished came back from a trip to Spain
and Portugal and I believe you've seen
destruction
there were many many cahillas over there
kahilas that you probably can't believe
that it was vibrant full of Yiddish
kites I know probably it's pretty empty
if you can tell the audience a little
bit of what you saw and the inspiration
that you got
yeah
thank you for the opportunity
um this is an appropriate time of the
year to talk about this subject you know
talk about communities in Spain there
were Jewish communities there for at
least uh 800 years that we shine them
live there
you had the greatest of all the China
you had of course the rashva in
Barcelona the run the ramban
in garona ravino
and of course the rambam the rambam was
born in Cordova
and uh many many we shine him
dozens of reshinen and they were very
eminent uh Jewish communities
there's nothing there there's nothing to
see
we thought we would go we would see
remnants relics
imprints uh
some kind of uh no there's nothing to
see the country is empty and void
there's no ruach and there's no gesham
nothing
it was startling
prepared a lot of uh a lot of
information to talk about
the some of the gravy okay some of the
streets you know the rajva street very
good but there's there's no apparent
evidence that Jews ever lived in that
country
there's no shame to share us
the closest you'll see is in some
doorways there's like a little uh
crevice where you know once upon a time
there was a mezuzah there but that's it
there's no
um Patek fares there are no cemeteries
there are no kavaram there's nowhere to
Daven the rush was in Toledo nowhere to
Daven not for The Rush not for the rajva
not for the ramban not for the Run not
forever they did a very good job
points out that
uh
and it's something we could observe
throughout Jewish history is that when
the gullusk comes to an end
then we leave overnight it's not like
the the guy and they come and say you
know we think the time is up we're going
to give you a couple of months you could
sell your homes you could pack your bags
you could take all of your stuff with
you now when the gallus is up
it's all over there's nothing uh
the next night we're out of there and
show explains that based on our the
concept of golus is uh together the new
soy sauce of kadusha that were scattered
all over the world but once we're
finished gathering in those Sparks then
next night we're on to the next there's
there's no delay and that's what we see
in Spain in Spain it's like we took
every last spark of kadusha out
and uh there's nothing left you know
I'll share with you something very uh
powerful
it's even difficult to talk about it
publicly it's the question I had for
many years
and I even offered a explanation and I
wrote it and many people really
um it was it was an approach it really
resonated with a lot of people but going
back to Spain and Portugal
I think there are other answers possibly
to this question and this is a very
important question you know on Tisch
above we mourn many tragedies besides
the actual hormones
of course we've mourn that started
but we were we more in the Crusades
didn't happen at the time of the horbit
it happened uh a thousand years later
we mourn the burning of the shots 12 42.
we
mourn
the Holocaust so there are many
tragedies that we speak about on Tish
above
and it really troubled me why is there
no mention of the Spanish explosion in
1492 I mean 300 000 Jews were expelled
from the country
and everybody knows or should know that
it happened on tishop
it happened on tishima so it's not like
we're sticking to the script only only
we talk about things that happen
throughout the generations and the
Spanish expulsion was one of the
greatest tragedies that ever happened to
the Jewish people why do we omit it it's
like conspicuously absent especially
that barbarinal writes in one of his
introductions that Ferdinand Isabella
they didn't know they didn't they didn't
like look on the calendar let's schedule
the explosion for a date that you know
is well known to be a day of mourning
for the Jewish people as far as they
they were concerned they picked the data
out of the head but it's like tishov is
a lightning rod and when there's tragedy
that happens it happens then
well we know World War one broke and on
Tish above the Jews were expelt from
France from England on tischbar
throughout the generation I remember
when I was a kid
myself the aguda of Avenue L in Brooklyn
it burned down on tishaba
everybody knows when there's tragedy to
happen it happens on Toshiba
and here the Spanish expulsion
divinely orchestrated clearly that it
was scheduled for tishima and we don't
even talk about it on tissue it's
omitted
so in the past I used the following
approach and I think there's a lot of
truth to it but there's something uh
there's something more more I believe
you know the good Island who lived in
those times when the Jews were leaving
Spain they they passed again that even
though it was Tish above
they should play live music
why
one of the reasons is the Jews were so
depressed and they're so downtrend
they're so broken
of the time felt it was it was a
question of life and death the Jews were
in danger of just being utterly crushed
demoralized so they needed to lift their
spirits but there was another message as
well
and that is as painful as it was to
leave the country where we flourish for
700 years for 800 years
but we're not leaving our home
we're leaving the gullus
and a Jew never cries when he leaves the
gullus
and as difficult as it was
we played music to recognize we never
belonged in Spain in the first place
that's not our home our home is ours
Israel you can't cry when you leave the
Galas
you can be attached to the gullus you
can't mourn when a golis is over golus
is over it's not easy it's not easy
being uh completely
transported to a different uh country no
money
broken no livelihood
strangers and a stranger but at the end
of the day a Jew doesn't cry when they
leave the Galas and I believe this is a
true answer
but you know look I know from on your
show
you know you speak about the issues that
uh others are maybe afraid to talk about
so I think this has to be mentioned
after studying I did a lot of research
to be able to speak we had a very close
we had about 40 people
educated people
so I was doing research about the times
that these lived in and the community is
flourished in
you know in 1391 in Spain
200 000 Jews
were forcibly converted and baptized
000 Jews
just think about the magnitude of that
number 200
000 Jews were forced to leave the
religion
okay so you'll say look their lives were
threatened
and obviously who could judge them and
they had no choice and inwardly
many observe Judaism privately
but not everyone
not everyone
but here's what the the painful thing is
and I'm going to come back to the really
painful thing in a moment that but I
want I want to let you know that in 1492
many Jews went then went to Portugal
because at the time Portugal did not
have a policy of
of expulsion
so just went to Portugal but five years
later
King Manuela Portugal wanted to marry
Ferdinand and Isabel's daughter so they
said look you want you want this girl
who has a shoulder here here
you have too many Jews in your country
so you agreed to expand exposure to
Portugal you have her hand in marriage
so he married her and that was the
condition of the marriage now he he was
he understood that his economy was
dependent on the Jews
so he gave them a certain amount a month
six to ten months to liquidate their
assets and to get ready to leave
but he didn't wait for that so on the
first day of pesach
he rounded all the Jews up and he said
either you convert
or your children are being kidnapped
and the King Emmanuel kidnapped every
single child below the eight the age of
18 and no parents saw their children
again
this is something that's not so well
known there was a reshine who lived in
Spain
who went to Portugal he had two children
kidnapped baptized he never saw them
again
these children were taken off to an
island off of Africa where there's an
entire Island just of Yiddish
who were who were
converted and we have no we have no
Shameless of them
so I want to ask you a question
if for a hundred now
here's an important fact
the Inquisition was in effect for a very
long time before the Jews were expelled
in 1492. see the Inquisition was that
any Jew who was threatened to convert
and convert it can now not go back to
practice Judaism if a Jew
maintained themselves as Jewish people
they were allowed to practice Judaism so
before 1492 you had Jews who uh
preserved their heritage and there there
they were not being investigated
they only investigated people who
converted to Christianity and were
suspected of really observing Judaism
that was the Inquisition
so we they were inquisitive are these
converts being faithful to Christianity
so and I ask you a very simple question
in the scheme of History
what was worse
the forceful conversions for a hundred
years of hundreds of thousands of Jews
or the fact that Jews were expelled in
1492.
what do you think was worse
that hundreds of thousands of Jews left
here this guy
what's a bigger tragedy that Jews left
our religion by the by the droves
or the fact that in 1492 Spain said okay
enough is enough I understand many
people converted but anyone who didn't
convert you gotta leave
I mean
in the scheme of things that wasn't such
a big deal
compared to the fact that we lost
hundreds of thousands of Jews in the
last hundred years
so to commemorate what happened on
tissue about 1492
is really insulting if you think about
it and
a lack of appreciation and understanding
and now knowing and being educated what
was going on for for decades before then
but probably the most painful thing
is that there were rapunin that didn't
withstand the test
and without getting into too much detail
one of the great rabbanim Rabbi Solomon
Levy
when he was challenged by the church he
converted
and his talmud rabbit
he
disparaged the rabbi how could he leave
our people how could you abandon us how
can you turn your back on us
and the Ruby challenged him to a debate
Andrew converted
so what do you think that did to the
morale of the communities what do you
think that did now these weren't of the
caliber of
perhapsabah but you know to be aware of
what was taking place in the time you
know we know that rambana had a famous
student I've known that many storms
talked about them talks about the
karayasha talks about
so I'm not trying to you know reveal
things that are not known this is uh you
know it's written bad and all this forum
but
the pressures of the time I would say
like this
number one
you think it's brings covet to cloudy
Israel if we're gonna really
focus in on what what was happening then
in a way it's it's almost impossible to
talk about
and in a way it's disparaging to talk
about you're going to talk about the
Jews left their Spain
that's what you're going to remember why
because it happened on Tisch above but
vis-a-vis what was taking place
um first of all in the Inquisition if
you're suspected practicing Judaism so
they would either torture you until you
admit either that you um that you you
wholeheartedly Embrace Christianity or
they torture you
so I think there are a number of reasons
why the Spanish Inquisition was not does
not discussed too much on tishvab
number one like we said you can't cry
when you leave the Galas
number two the whole Saga
and the whole period
in a way it's it's embarrassing for us
and number three
and this is something I saw on the Rival
now just historically you know there
were three rivets
um
the Rival that we always talk about the
ram I'm on the right that's the rhyme of
the second the rabbit of pokiers we
spoke about about the Rival of pokiers
last year when we visited France
the first private wrote a safer hakabala
he was one of The Shining him he lived
in Spain and he wrote a work of history
from beginning of time until his time
and he says something and I think this
is another reason why we don't talk
about
the period of what happened in Spain
he says
expulsion
that's similar to the Corbin we were
expelled in times of performance hunger
we experienced that time of the hormone
deprivation persecution similar to the
hormone
Force conversion
worse than the Corbin
Forest conversion worse than the hormone
he doesn't say this to answer any
questions he just makes this comment
that this
this part of Jewish history forced
conversion
this is worse than horben base
which might be another reason why we
don't talk about on Tish above because
this is a tragedy worse than Corbin
Basin Tish above is related to is
dedicated to those tragedies that are on
par with corbination there are certain
things that
Trends are even worse than the
destruction of the basement
by the way there was one of the Spanish
guitar
he wrote a safe
and he also invented the Astro lab
and he had Maritime charts so
Christopher Columbus used his Maritime
charts
to uh
navigate and sail to America
writes that in Portugal many Jews
they kill themselves
to avoid being forcibly converted
and many of these are Jews that we know
we know what we know about we didn't
know that they did this but I'm going to
tell you who they were
the wife of the tour the wife of the
balaturam she killed herself so as not
to be forcibly converted
and the questions are you allowed to do
that
and he brings many riots that it's um
that you are related to that
where the children jumped off the boat
to avoid being violated
and he brings many many proofs but this
just gives us a picture of what was
taking place in those times
so there are a lot of things to think
about
regarding what we don't talk about on
Tish above so in a way we shouldn't be
talking about this today
but it's very painful disinformation
that you're sharing it's uh what are we
what are what's what
can the audience maybe you can leave us
with
yes I want to share regarding the first
point you know that we don't cry when we
leave the gaulas that's something that
we we really have to think about that
not to be so attached to uh as as
comfortable as the goddesses
and
as much as we're able to practice our
other sky here in America
but this is not where it's at this is
not our home this is a station not a
destination
regarding
regarding uh some of the sad
occurrences that we're discussing
you know it also gives us a moment to
pause and think that yeah there are
things that happen in our time
what happened to
young men and women in our own time
what families deal with in our own time
when uh
if they're not able to uh
Merit to keep the children on the on the
path
that difficulty and that challenge
that's worse than corbination you know
that's more painful than hormones that's
something that
we have we did not experience at the
time of the Corbin
and it sort of puts it highlights to us
as wonderful as life is today but you
know they're families that are dealing
with challenges that you know go beyond
even what we're discussing on on Tish
above
I want to share with you just one uh
final thing that I learned in Portugal
we were in Lisbon in Lisbon we stood in
front of a church right you're not
supposed to say that a user church has a
landmark so I'm not going to say which
one it was but there was a uh
there was a monument there
and in 1506 there were terrible pilgrims
in Lisbon
let's fast forward 200 years to the year
1755. it was November 1st
what we call All Saints Day
and the whole city was in the church
six or seven different churches
at that moment an earthquake hit
Portugal
the worst the most severe earthquake in
the history of the European continent
it leveled the entire city 85 percent of
the city
every Church in the City was destroyed
so in this city where they forcibly
converted and kidnapped all Jewish
children
it was cemented by a supernatural
earthquake now this earthquake now what
what do the Christians do when they go
to the mass they light candles
the earthquake caused wildfires and
people were burnt alive in the place
that they burnt yet
and then they were looking for safety so
they ran down to the riverbed
and a tsunami came and washed them away
and whoever survived the second tsunami
came and then a third tsunami came
so
who are we to say
why things happen but
sometimes like with Miller would always
says
you know sometimes you have to open up
your eyes but I'll tell you you know see
people see what they want to see
people uh so some of the clerics they
said okay why is God doing this it must
be we didn't
search out every last conversal there
must be some more yeah than practicing
Judaism in secret so they found one more
hit and they brought him a line
so
on the one hand you see open Yad Hashem
and you see how blinded people could be
and this is all this is all part of the
Galas
where
look hazal tell us Hashem is Hashem was
patient but ultimately the government
delay he you know he collects his debt
there's there's a
A Day of Reckoning and at the same time
people could be uh oblivious to it
so it's important for us
to to know what we've been through
what we've endured
and use use uh the real View Window the
rear view mirror
as a as a perspective of how to uh pull
out of the driveway and uh
and plot forward
well thank you thank you so much um
could you leave our audience with
different broker
with the tissue buff I know it's hard
but
but afterwards we wait you know machine
is born and so it's very important you
know uh you would think on Tish above
we're gonna spend the whole day sitting
in the dirt sitting in the dust
wallowing and dust no
we get up
because uh that's the direction of Kal
Israel you gotta get off the floor dust
yourself off brush yourself off roll up
your sleeves and uh plot for the future
look here we are after 2000 years after
everything they've done to us and uh
we're flourishing we're as strong as
ever so clearly Hashem has been guarding
us watching us and if you're here today
[Music]
so you have to know that Hashem has been
guarding you for 2 000 years from all of
these difficulties and all these
challenges be it horben be it Crusade be
it Inquisition hashem's been navigating
you saving you preserving you so that
you could be here today and he gave you
the Baton it's like this has been a long
relay race and now the Baton is on our
hand and we're the ones who have to get
it to the finish line that means Hashem
trusts us he trusts you he's given you
the job that through your learning and
your has said and your Fila you're gonna
take that baton that was passed down to
you from your parents from your
grandparents and it's our job to get get
us to the finish line
to make it happen
how many thank you so much for relaxing
and hopefully we'll meet in person with
everybody listening in your life
[Music]
today is a very strange day to be Jewish
um
complicated
on one hand it's a sad day
I mean that's not complicated that's
okay it's not fun to be sad sad to be
sad but okay I can be sad what's
complicated is that the same time we
don't say takan today because we're told
today is means a holiday or Festival
well hold on a second what's so festive
about Tish above
and the explanation is that well
right now there's so much grief
associated with the tragedies that
befell us on this date that that's
covering over the inner quality of being
a maid but eventually
maybe immediately
the grief will be removed and then what
we'll have left over is nothing but
celebration
which is a like I said it's that's very
complicated
we have one day which is the saddest day
of the year and at the very same time
it's a potential
Festival
in fact it is a festival now it's just
there's too much grief covering it so we
can't connect to the to the Joy you
notice says that
mashiach was born on Tish above
so is teachable of a day of Destruction
or is it a day of of rebirth
and the answer is yes it's both at the
same time that's what I'm saying it's
complicated it's very complicated
now
this sort of complicated situation
of being both
connected with grief and pain and
dysfunction which that's what Exile is
exile isn't just
being banished from our land Exile is
being banished from our true selves
Exiles when we can't
be in touch with the nashama and and
it's
love and awe of Hashem and it's
fearlessness and its bravery and its
Serenity and its peace all of that stuff
becomes removed from us so that's that's
what Exile means means not just being
banished from our land it doesn't just
mean a socio-political Exile it means a
psychological Exile as well
and of course all of this stems from a
spiritual Exile
so on one hand we're very connected to
that
and at the very same time
we're connected to the very opposite
which is the coming Redemption
which we're closer to now than ever
before in history I mean sort of by
definition we're closer to mashiach now
than ever before in history
so we live in a funny
we live in a funny time
where
a lot of our lives and our experiences
have to do with have to have to do with
dealing with the dysfunction of Exile
but at the very same time we're starting
to
get in touch with the glory that's
coming very soon in in gula
a way to kind of understand this weird
time that we live in is uh
Friday afternoon
if you've ever been in any Shabbos
observant household on Friday afternoon
you know it's a funny time
um it can be very stressful
and people can
they can behave in ways that they
wouldn't normally behave because
they feel the pressure
time's ticking
and uh
if you would come into a Jewish house on
a Friday afternoon you might get an
impression wow this isn't a very happy
family
and then you come back a few hours later
Friday night they're all sitting at the
Shabbos table you say wow what an
amazing family they're so bonded they're
so close they're enjoying each other
such peace
and just a few hours earlier everyone
was running around hectic
stressed
that's the time we're in right now in
the cosmic calendar
every Millennium is a day
in the year 5783 we're in Friday
afternoon
so
on one hand we're dealing with the
stress of this really unique confusing
time where we're trying to get ready for
Shabbos already it's coming it's
imminent and there's stress and there's
there's tension
but at the same time it's like Shabbos
is so close
you can already start to taste like
literally you know it's a Mitzvah too
taste from the Shabbos Food before
Shabbos
so we're already enjoying
some of the Schnitzel and the maybe
we're having some other cholin in the
matzo ball soup
and yet at the same time it's
she was in the shower too long tell her
to get out oh no can someone run to
Costco we have no Seltzer right so
that's that's this generation that's the
era that we live in
confusing time complicated time
and
in this generation what's happening is
we're getting rid of we're cleaning up
the last vestiges of the dysfunction of
Exile
and we're starting to experience
the real peace and serenity
of deep healing of Deep
return to our essence
to our to our soul to who we truly are
and it's all they're both happening at
the same time
they're both happening at the same time
that's what makes this such an
interesting time to be alive
where we're dealing with issues that no
one ever dealt with before but we're
healing in ways that no one ever healed
before
I I have a group
a monthly group that gets together
of uh I have a men's group and have a
women's group two separate groups
fathers and mothers who meet separately
on Zoom virtually once a month
who are all alumni of my parenting
course I have a six-week online
parenting course and many of these
people have taken the course more than
once they've taken some take have taken
it two three times
and then as a refresher once a month we
get together
and every month we have a different
topic related to related to parenting
so uh
this month we had a meeting last week so
this month
I I figured for manage is about
it's about getting ready for uh the
ultimate healing
but at the same time like I said the
weirdness of still being in gallus and
having to deal with
the last cleanup that we need to do
before we go into the Redemption
so I spoke about it from uh
a point of view of a of an individual
who's who's who's trying to heal
and specifically an individual who's a
parent and trying to heal
and I said it like this I said you know
we've picked up various different
defense mechanisms that we've used to
cope with the dysfunction of golus
or the people who parented us
picked up different defense mechanisms
to deal with the dysfunction of golus or
the people who parented the people who
parented us picked up various defense
mechanisms to deal with the dysfunction
of golus and we're carrying that stuff
what do I mean by these defense
mechanisms I mean you're living in a
crazy world golus is so crazy that when
mashir comes we'll look back on it and
say it was like a dream
so you're dealing with this
craziness called golus and I'm sure
you've heard the expression a normal
reaction to an abnormal situation okay
so the normal reaction to an abnormal
situation is that unfortunately we come
up with these adaptations these coping
mechanisms where we convince ourselves
that certain things will make us safe
certain things will will grant us
security so some of us learn how to be
mean and tough and if I'm mean and tough
and I can beat everyone up then I'm safe
from this craziness from this crazy
world
others learn
how to be a smooth talker if I can just
convince everyone to calm down I'll use
my words and if I can just flatter
people and talk them into doing what I
want if I become the master manipulator
then
then I'm safe then I'm good then I can
relax
these are the different
Character defects that we all pick up in
childhood or were transmitted to us by
parents who picked them up in their
childhood or
by parents who were
who had that transmitted to them by
parents who had it transmitted to them
and so on and so forth the point is we
all pick we all pick up these different
Character defects which are essentially
the survival mechanism of trying to cope
with the craziness of an of a world that
feels unsafe
some of us learn how to be invisible
if I can just hide and not get picked
out of the crowd then I'm safe
others learn to be super driven
anything that I put my mind to I can do
no matter who I have to run over
determination
that becomes their their coping
mechanism
other people learn to be people Pleasers
I have no will have no desire no hopes
no dreams whatever anyone else wants and
I learn how to appease them and give in
and if I can just give everyone else
what they want then I'll be safe
yeah
and some of us pick up multiple coping
mechanisms
the point is these are all adaptations
to the dysfunction of golus this is what
I'm telling the parents at my monthly
group last week
and they get passed down from parent to
child parent to child parent to child
and at some point somebody's got to be
the one to say I'm not going to carry
forward any more of these coping
mechanisms I'm going to drop
these defense mechanisms and I'm going
to accept the fact that I don't need
anything but Hashem yes this is a lofty
very very spiritual level but you know
what what's the alternative to continue
to perpetuate all these neuroses and all
these dysfunctions we have to realize I
thought I needed to be mean and tough or
I thought I needed to be a smooth talker
or I thought I needed to be a people
pleaser I thought I needed to learn how
to be invisible or whatever it is and
what I realize is no I only need Hashem
and to relax and put myself in hashem's
hands
and that's all I need
and that's all that is authentic to
myself that's what my nishama wants the
real me
and all of the other stuff those
character traits that I picked up that I
became that I started to identify with
they're not the real me that's the ego
that's the ego and that's the ego is
doing what Hashem told it to do Hashem
created the ego to Keep Us Alive so
that's what it thinks it's doing it
thinks it's keeping us alive which is
why everything the ego does always feels
like life and death
I have to do this because it's life and
death
that's the intensity of the ego it
always thinks it's keeping us alive
I have to make more money so I don't die
I have to get another person to approve
of me so I don't die
I have to win this argument so I don't
die it's always with the intensity of
life and death but that's the ego and
that's not the authentic self those are
the gullus adaptations again not the
authentic self so I was saying to these
parents we got to let go of that stuff
because
we don't want to hand that over to the
Next Generation
I told them something interesting the
labova should ever said
this is the last generation of golus in
the first generation of Gola and I asked
why did it ever call it a generation
speaks about he calls it as man he says
in that era in that time
what does that ever call it a dollar a
generation
so I said I'm not 100 sure about this
but it feels right
you know what it means the last
generation of golf's first generation of
Gola means we're the generation is
literally parents raising children
that's what a generation is so we're the
last parents to raise children with a
gaulus paradigm and the first parents to
raise children with a ghoula paradigm
Galla's Paradigm means all of those
defense mechanisms that the ego picked
up and it makes sense it picked it up
because that's the job its job is to
protect you so all those defense
mechanisms that I picked up which become
my character flaws that become embedded
in family systems and in Family Lines
they get handed down generation after
generation we have to be the first
generation of parents parenting children
to say I'm not continuing that
and we have to be the first generation
of parents to say
I'm going to return to my authentic self
to my nashama
the only thing I need for Safety and
Security in this world is Hashem and my
relationship with Hashem
that's all I need and I'm okay and I'm
okay
and then from that place of okayness
to raise children who can also feel
intrinsically okay
and for whom
their relationship with Hashem is what
grants them a sense of well-being not
all the gullus adaptations and defense
mechanisms
I want as far as to say that
the adaptations and defense mechanisms
that we've been carrying
either that we developed in our
childhood or that our parents developed
or our parents parents our parents
parents parents parents I said uh it
could really be called a vedasota
for two reasons it's available because
we're relying on those things instead of
Hashem and anything you rely on instead
of Hashem but I said on a deeper level
because it is foreign to us
those defense mechanisms are a betrayal
of our true selves because if we were
more in touch with our nashama we
wouldn't need to do that stuff we
wouldn't feel that
that that fight or flight that that
Adrenaline Rush that do or die
and I understand why I picked it up for
my grandfather or my great grandfather
or my great great grandfather I
understand why under the dysfunctional
crazy situation of gullus I understand
why we picked it up but we're the first
generation has to say we're not going to
carry it forward
and we have to recognize it as what it
is it's available it is foreign to us
it's not the real me that's
and I don't have to hold on to it as a
family heirloom just because my great
great great grandfather did it he didn't
want to do it
he's looking as an ashama and saying he
wish he wished he never picked up that
that maladaption that that that that
adjustment that he was doing because he
that's the best he could do he he wants
he doesn't want his great great great
great grandchildren to to inherit that
he wants me to let it go so I said it's
not ours it's not ours this Aveda Zara
it is literally a desire it is foreign
to us and we need to let it go and say
this is not
this doesn't belong to me this doesn't
belong to me it crept into this family
however many generations ago and now I'm
gonna be the one to set it down and to
say no more it doesn't move on after me
I came up with this silly muscle I don't
know why sometimes you come up with
a marshall because it's
brings home a point so I said imagine a
from family is Pacer cleaning out of
pesach
uh not just pace of cleaning but you
know bidika's comets are but goodness
so it's the night before Pacer and
they're cleaning for pesach and they're
checking searching for Comet you know
the Father the candle the whole thing
and they look under the couch and they
find a Salem I just made this up as a
silly Marshall I said what do you want
them to do oh no we founded Salem and
they're trying to figure out where does
this come from we didn't buy this house
from non-jews we built this house no one
lived in this house but our family
so it has to be from somebody from this
family what should we do what should we
do I said it as a marshall about when
you become aware of your Character
defects what are you supposed to do
about it so I said one reaction is you
take the Salem and you put it on the
mantle put it under glass shine lights
on it and you make a museum
you see everyone stand around and look
at this terrible thing that we found
look at this dysfunction look what we
found it's revolting and every day you
look at it and feel revolted
so that's one reaction you know you
could do that
or the other reaction put it with the
comments and burn it in the morning
you move on with life
in other words we're bringing up stuff
that previous generations didn't bring
up because they were in survival mode so
they didn't deal with these things we're
bringing it up but once you bring it up
what are you supposed to do with it do
you identify with it do you rehash it
you talk about it and re-talk about it
or do you identify it and say look this
isn't me it's not authentic to me it's
an adaptation to this dysfunction called
golus either I picked it up or my father
my father's father my father's father it
doesn't matter when it came in it's not
authentic to us it's not the nashama
it's a crutch it's a defense mechanism
the anger the rage the fear the lying
the lust whatever it is it's okay we're
gonna put it down
and leave it it's it's not us we don't
want it we don't want it we're purging
it from our family and that's it and
then you move on feeling much lighter
so I gave that metaphor and I don't know
why but I felt like saying it again I
said a second time a from family is
clean for pesos night before pesach
and they've either tail them under the
couch what should they do should they
make a museum piece out of it and
everyone stand around and be upset about
it every day after day after day or you
put it with the comments and burn it in
the morning
and then I said it a third time and I
don't know why but I said it a third
time I was feeling it I said it a third
time
and all of a sudden one of the women on
this zoo was the mother's Zoom
she says Rabbi stop a sec I gotta say
something
yeah go ahead
says I have it Salem
and I'm like yeah yeah we all do we find
it and we gotta get rid of it we have to
know what's available I have a tail on
my real tail
this is a very very firm woman I I know
her husband I know her kids very firm
woman she says
I have to tell him in my car right now
for the past three years
I'm like whoa okay all right
all right let's stop here what's going
on talk to me
he proceeds to tell me a story her story
or family story
her great grandfather was a Moroccan Jew
a descendant of the uh
and they left Morocco they moved to
Gibraltar
then from there they moved to Brazil
and in Brazil they lived in the uh in
the Amazon
there were economic opportunities there
supposedly
and so her great-grandfather this
Moroccan Jew a descendant of the Oregon
is living in Amazon in Brazil
and his young wife dice
meaning the woman who's talking to me
her great-grandmother dies
they have a daughter
This Woman's grandmother little girl
what are they supposed to do with her
the mothers the mother's deceased
there's no mother to raise her anymore
in Brazil the Catholic church is very
strong they came to this Moroccan Jew
and they convinced him give your
daughter to us we'll take care of her
and he did it
and he sent her to a Catholic school and
she was
raised by nuns and the nuns used to beat
her and berate her
and scream at her
when they would make food they would
tell her get away from the food don't
touch it with your dirty Jewish hands
that was her upbringing
one night she was home
with her father having supper
she took a fork and a knife from the
dinner table and she made it into a
shape of the image of the Salem
that she saw hundreds of times a day in
the Catholic school where her own father
sent her
and he became enraged and I would assume
also he was full of Shame and
self-loathing
because it was apparent to him
maybe he wasn't conscious of it maybe he
wouldn't admit to it but he I'm sure
hated himself for sending her to that
place so she made the little
image of the Salem with their fork and a
knife at the dinner table and he beat
her
he beat her
so this poor little Jewish girl
orphaned by her mother at a young age
sent to the Catholic school where the
nuns beat her and berate her
and then she comes home
and her father beats her
because she's confused
she's just trying to be the way that she
thinks she's supposed to be I mean this
is a Gullah story a pure sweet innocent
nashama in a crazy dysfunctional
situation that is gullus
so anyways eventually this grandmother
unfortunately she
she caved to the pressure of the gullus
and she was
baptizedlan she became a Catholic she
married a Catholic
and she practiced Catholicism her entire
life
and she had a daughter and that daughter
was raised as a Catholic and married a
Catholic
and that daughter had a daughter
and that daughter was discovered
by Ashley Abdullah
who told her that she was Jewish
your mother and your mother's mother
is Jewish and she
is the descendant of the kadish you're
Jewish actually met with the grandmother
he asked her various questions about her
upbringing and she
recited different prayers and blessings
for him in Hebrew with a real authentic
Moroccan
accent
and she returned to you this kite and
she lives in Brooklyn and is raising a
very very
wonderful from family
when her grandmother passed away
she got rid of the idols her grandmother
had literal idols
she said statues and stuff and she used
to make clothing for the statues and
dress them it was very very disturbing
stuff and he was this granddaughter got
rid of her grandmother's idols
when she passed away
um
but the grandmother was a
a jeweler a jewelry Merchant she sold
jewelry
and the granddaughter the one who's
speaking on the zoom
she says she inherited a bunch of
jewelry from her grandmother a lot of
different pieces and she said one day
she uh is going through these different
pieces of jewelry and she was shocked
she didn't realize it was there there
was a Salem
now one of the pieces of jewelry was at
Salem
now it wasn't something that her
grandmother had ever worshiped it was
just ornamental and there was a
difference Allah
but she was horrified she didn't know
what to do with it she called her off
three years ago
and that off told her it wasn't
worshiped it's just ornamental you can't
keep it but you're allowed to sell it
and uh you can even keep the money but
you know go take care of it so she said
this is three years ago she took the
piece of jewelry into her car
and she's about to go to the pawn shop
and sell the piece of jewelry and she
froze she said how can I do this I'm I'm
a
I'm a firm woman I'm gonna walk into a
jewelry store and they're gonna see me
with this Salem it's so shameful she
said no I can't do it it's too shameful
she put it in the glove box and she hid
it and she said I'll do it later she
procrastinated I'll do it later
that was three years ago
you said for three years he's had that
thing in her glove box and she forgets
about it because she has it's just too
much shame to deal with
too much shame I can't do I can't
confront that I don't want to do I want
to pretend it's not there and she just
keeps it in the glove box she says from
time to time she remembers that it's
there and she becomes struck with horror
and panic oh no what if my children find
it how confused will my poor little
children be what are they going to think
they're gonna find a tailor in Mommy's
car what will they even do with that
information
and then she becomes so guilty it'll
traumatize her children and then she
becomes Frozen again and you could say
well why why is she so Frozen why
doesn't she just get rid of it why
didn't you just throw it in the in the
ocean you can ask whatever you want this
is a story that happened last week
and for three years this devoted loving
mother
of a beautiful Jewish Family
for three years she lived with this
angst and this anxiety of her
grandmother's Salem
her grandma her poor little grandmother
the little girl who was orphaned
and sent to Catholic school and beaten
by the nuns and came home and was beaten
by her father and didn't know what to do
with all that and became a Catholic and
and
this male adaptation this defense
mechanism this coping that this family
picked up to deal with the atrocities of
gullus became passed down and I told
everyone on the zoom this is not unique
to the person telling the story this is
all of our stories we all have this
Salem we have this Aveda Zara this thing
that is our that is foreign to us that
we picked up or our ancestors picked up
that we we've been using to cope with
the atrocities of golus and to feel safe
and just and secure and we have to
realize that when we finally Discover it
when you find that Salem you have to say
no it's not mine the rage the lust the
fear the lying the deceit the the people
pleasing whatever the these male
adaptations are they are not authentic
to us they do not come from our nashama
and we have to say we're going to be the
ones to get rid of it we're the ones who
will Purge it and clean it we are the
last generation of golus the first
generation of gula we will clean it and
not hand it on to our children so I said
to this woman we got to get rid of this
thing your your grandmother needs to be
set free
who's too busy I called him up I said
you got to help this woman we got to set
this grandmother's name free he said I'm
dealing with with he says it's the nine
days it's the air of nine days I'm
dealing with all the questions with with
showers and FIFA and Mikvah and he says
it's the busiest day of the year for me
I said okay as soon as you can please
look it up you have to instruct this
woman at any rate so he did and he told
her the same thing you told her three
years ago it wasn't actually worshiped
so you don't have to destroy it just
sell it get rid of it do it now
so the next day
she's in front of the pawn shop and I
get a WhatsApp saying I can't do it
again she's freezing she's freezing and
this is what happens to all of us when
we identify the Aveda Zara we freeze
we're so horrified by it we can't part
with it
instead of releasing it we hold on to it
and then what happens
just like this woman with the tail limit
in her glove compartment we think we've
hidden it but really we run the risk of
our children finding it and thinking we
worship it if you have this character
defect this Aveda soda whatever it is
the rage the lust the anger the the
lying the deceit the people pleasing all
these different all these different
adaptations if you're carrying one of
these in your family line and you try to
suppress it and ignore it and pretend
it's not there you keep it hidden in
your glove box all that's going to
happen is you run the risk your children
eventually will discover that it's there
and they'll think you actually worship
it they'll think it's actually your God
foreign
what does it mean they'll think it's
your God they'll think that that's where
you get Safety and Security from instead
of from Hashem
so I told her you're going in that store
right now you're getting rid of it
because we're going to purify your
grandmother your pure nashama of your
grandmother is still carrying this this
tumor you're going to be the one to
clean it she needs a tahada she needs to
be cleansed
okay fine she comes out two minutes
later from the pawn shop it's over she
says you know how much the pawn broker
gave me 40 bucks and she says to me
memsa
the units of measure of water in a
Mikvah she says toher
my grandmother's Soul was cleansed I
said you bet she is now take the 40
bucks take it to a real Mikvah and give
it donated to the mic for now
and this is what happened last week
[Music]
[Applause]
this is not one person's story this is
all of our stories
Maybe
your story isn't that your family
comes from Morocco and moved to Brazil
maybe your family was from Poland or
Lithuania or Yemen
or Syria
or Germany
Tunisia
maybe they didn't move to Brazil maybe
they moved to France maybe they moved to
England maybe they moved to America
maybe they moved
there to throw we all have different
details to our stories
maybe you're not descended for norahima
kadish
but surely you're descended from avram
Malaya
and maybe it's not a Salem
maybe it's something else
but whatever it is whatever it is that
you're carrying because the gullus was
so
unbelievable unbelievably difficult for
you or your ancestors deal with and they
picked up some type of defense mechanism
that the ego thought would make it safe
and now you identify that character
trait and you say I'm not carrying this
forward anymore I can't be the one to
hand this on to my children again
you are the last generation of gallows
in the first generation of Gola this is
the cleansing generation
emotional health
wasn't really something people discussed
in previous generations you know why
because they were in survival mode
but now we're in the generation
where we have to focus on the deep
cleaning and getting rid of anything
that's left over
anything that we or our parents our
grandparents or great-grandparents or
any of our ancestors picked up along the
way to cope with and to cope with
gullies any of these defense mechanisms
any of these Character defects now is
the time to release it
foreign
it's as simple as that don't have to
fight it don't have to Grapple with it
you don't have to make it your full-time
occupation
it is not authentic to you so just just
release it and invite the gang and then
move move on
move on racing your family with joy
and with faith
and one by one it's happening already
I'm telling you
it's not something that's going to
happen it is happening families are
healing
families are cleaning the last
remnants of gaulus
it's Friday afternoon
it's Friday afternoon you can smell the
Shabbos Food
the Shabbos table is set
yeah we're still running around it's
still a little bit hectic getting rid of
getting ready for the last things that
we can do to prepare but it's also we
can feel the peace the peace is about to
set in we're right we're almost there
we're almost there
I want to wish each of you who's joining
me right now that you should experience
personal healing your families should
experience personal healing and
cumulatively the entire world should
experience the ultimate healing
yes
[Music]
I weep with you now you shall I'm
purses to
remember
[Music]