Tisha B'Av "Building Your Own Beit HaMikdash" Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

[Music] welcome ladies there's a place that slight delay so rebus inhaler is internationally known as now seven scholar of jewish studies as well as a gift a lecturer many of you know her and that's why you're here so this is our tourists fan club and average across the river i see you i don't think i don't know anybody here [Music] the when we talk about rebuilding our own basin except there are a few things that we have to say by way of introduction one is the whole kinds of defense of interest is very foreign to us there's nothing here in this room who even could dream of what about having suspense a bit and I'll tell you why Rob said something interesting he said human capacity is only to envision something that has some basic sense of your experience so his example is the senator who's seen a bird and anyone who's seen routine iron innovation and all your words as flies in the sky like the plane 37th time and I encourage supplies on the side but if you examine see metal and you've never seen averted with the outside of your range so we talked about the Venkatesh where toxins and something is out of our range our experiences such that there is a wall that separates the material world from the spiritual world that can't be broken so he can so academically be done intellectually we know that the person next to you is somebody who will be with the same who is the themes would have to do with their soul not their body but we've seasoned it surviving this is how we are we see ourselves the bacon extensions the only prints that ever existed and we since wall separates physical and spiritual existence with local there you can see the stones and you see the soul of the cells you can see the metal and you saw the soul of the metal so the experience is going into the bed commish was one it's because that wall came down it changed the way we sort anything so the base of interest with the magnet so it might think you bad and folks event in history at the base of mikdash briefly and then a little bit about by HDC and then we'll go right into our topic which is what to do with this so when hashem pages the world it says - because the dust of the earth to form other bodies that was us the earth or not first but the judge was dr industry specified so rocky brings us to shut-ins - explanation from the talmud one is that he took dirt from all over the world to make the human body and that's indeed while ear trace metals from all over in our bodies which is up a question the biologists still ask the other thing is entity took birth from Wendy Walter was later stand to the beit hamikdash from a comb hemisphere Samaha claims these are not separate ideas these ideas are what idea which is that the places atonement is universal the place of unity of atonement has been is earth from all over then grammar and exactly loudly continues and says of the reason why earth had to be used Balochistan order that you would need to be buried any place that was the observe animals to die anywhere they can be easy we're serous absorbs so why does a human being need sacrifices to be very special birth this corresponds to his body sunder vision is that even though we've seen the bunyan soul is completely completely separate they're not what in sentence humans remain in God's image this applies to our findings as well everything about our bodies even simple things like effectively of two years and towards only one mass has been to tell us something about ourselves so in the face of a fish that's my introduction so now it's closer to Beit HaMikdash the base that makes you should be noted sanctified house but the fact is that it wasn't even though when you look at the pictures of the base image she sees is huge by building the base image which is in fact a series of courtyards ending with this large building so the court your argument and anyone's ability with the courtyard another one it's more exclusive only Kohanim Olivia another one the tour excluded is by infrared then finally gets to the entrance of this large building which is closed to be your only Kohanim and only within there for a reason and then you can move into the group of qualitative love which is divided into two coalition kadosh kadosh in the room discord coldish has the menorah the sacred table he is involved there then this occurs if a hijacker included seditious and punished condition I want you to hear this clearly in the second page I think you should know open in there how would you know it was in there in the second edition nothing the arm had either been taken off to Babylon were buried says it was a stone there but that Boulder was nonetheless even though there was nothing tangible this considered the holiest of all possible places and the holiness interchange in the Second Temple year is so much that if you study the history of the Second Temple you find there is so many Kohanim gazzola's because the president has had the spiritual fortitude to be there even a moment otherwise humans are the usually holy place so you see is that we move Charlotte Isis accessible to more people and to a place that can't even really be described in human terms the substance of your article is held on and say that's it so what's this have to do with condition what does this have to do with our building our own definition the word preservation Hebrew means separate separate from what separates always from something separate from what so the answer is separate from anything that limits you so my interesting 2004 a moment all of us are limited they're loading year was unlimited what are the things that limit us as human beings and putting this to you and that is rhetorically one keeps what limits us what makes us our minds are limited computer we can't know everything we can't retain every bit of information we have limited access so we're limited because of the limitations of the influence what else what else limits I don't hear you physical we're only don't look so long and no longer and our body's going to so much and not more is that true true we're live just by time well it is by faith will the bit by subjectivity so kedusha means not denying those limitations but rising above them and taking the body with you so there's a mix that's our condition to you be holy so what do you suppose to do with it you can't say ok from now I don't know everything so now I don't live forever so now on I could you know to commend you remembering right ok faster this is the most peak of whatever what are you going to do with that you can't get in Plymouth so there is two there are two responses that the commentators make that are well known rocky said some Sidoti this room the light he says that what limits you the most in terms of being able to take your physical body and bring it into the world of unlimited non limitation inside having extraordinary extraordinary willingness to make lines to separate you from any possible acts of promiscuity she says what takes the soul and lowers its having the limitations of the body is every unit laced the promiscuity so means that your emotions become tangible physical your heart becomes finite everything of value becomes devoted towards physical experience that's what Rashi says from bonds disagrees does it mean to flavin it we already know that too in those these things and he says no to be holy have to separate yourself from all the things that are permitted to limit you don't be drunkard on kosher wine so these what not kosher food don't drown the materials but that doesn't tell us how to be holding it only tells us how to not be unholy so knees are asking Rahman answered their own question they disappear at the limitations that keep you from being holy joking forgiveness hearing limitation selfie materials but how do you yet be holy let's safe and clean this place then what how you become a holy person when you look at the page to make this is called the place of holiness what you see in the peregrines of password holiness it's becoming more and more in grisly directions so you come to this holy place where there's nothing to even look at the design of the second temple and as far as the first one discussed the author so now we have the main topic that we have to discuss which is what sense with us so what sometimes when you're talking about how you discover something this could be in science this could be the process of therapy those of you were individually reputed methodology you have to intern get has all of the stuff do you know what I mean when I say this not this not this not this not this you have to go through this so similarly in the passcodes condition browser you have man told us how to get rid of all the stuff okay what destroys of a panic - it's going to tell us what some stuffs in but you have to get past so does the first hope to go by your we chose and then by your chain and then buddies we sure would you read the books of prophecy you'll see that the prophets were consistently consistently railing again again again against a lower ship and I worship this island that I love you and when you read it you feel good you never like commandment to the server that make you feel guilty that's the once again speaking Russian higher then the Vegas don't call your child with Ebola that's marvelous guys every like nephew even when they were teenagers I never even thought of doing that so you know that's a good commandment um so you're reading a skinhead because it was so dramatic yes but both of my horrific consciousness is coming to those where survival to come yes that's perhaps a bit of blue Virgin Islands okay but there's more to it than that we also have rarely gets violent we also have against promiscuity and I want to play with the demonic presence about parrisha it says that they lost the fruits of hope they lost the merit of the forefathers that's hard to picture and I want to instance a correctly Thomas who the book was finished they used it up sources of something physical you can only use up something physical you can't use such jealousy there goes for jealousy in the world you can't use the use of a section or going for section how can you use that whatever so here's how I'll explain it what I look this we're in ah there's nothing to abstraction clothes for some us there's something in you that's like opera what's what coming up everyone in this room and then can say this with absolute security even though I don't know someone I don't know most of you we love tensed now something expect Kristen I don't look says that maybe she thinks I love said the diagnosis so not still well I'm going to be food in the word for cousin what kept it really is is heading towards the goal by going beyond yourself all those go pee on themselves we have no choice it's our internal makeup we go beyond our limitations so one form of credit is being kind to each other another form of credit is Sheila we will be unselfish going and speaking to God another form of sensibly because we are self and pursuing any real ideal these all have sudden so the demands would be lost the African within us could you lose that you could not completely it goes into gold goes into hiatus but it can leave your constantly how do you do that so there's an equation that's made okay and of course period equation permitted until we talk about yourself to be lost exquisite interest what was the interest because she talks about infantatum mythical Bora be the first of great strength so what kind of strength to be talking about we're talking about the ability to be two totally devoted totally devoted to her ship so the point said you'll fight any battle intuition will so we talk in our history how many here are another nasty so you all had ancestors who could have made your lies extremely easy by saying one sense you know when the sentences are the lead in him and they didn't so sometimes the gift again is the part of us as strong has an external enemy and we met that enemy head-on every single one of you is the descendent of people made choice of substances and what is that parallel wait will talk that younger okay yeah so the other explained trade as you know is truth how could you betray constantly be a trade there people who are fantastic by their natures and relax and kindness they will go beyond us many different directions but happen what's house true betray a lot of them felt lawyer recently well many of us lying less frequently so I want to tell you what truth is because we have a mistaken idea what treatment truth of the whole picture so it's not verbal accuracy you confirm you can be verbally accurate and not be telling the truth I'll give you a sampling that totally Hitler infants the vegetarian the verbal that said firmly accurate is not the truth the husband Hitler was okay so that perspective guess was completely entire picture and the proof of that is that he could give each of this club different lesson they were very different from each other and very different than him because these are the truth and each of them so as I said I tell you in a moment what success to do with anything I will if your life awesome if you will be honest self there's no way that what in the sense of the process we're talking about could be in your repertoire medicine would be promiscuity because all Thomas QT is explained now what I'm going to point here because men and women are different in this regard when you tell a man the skewness exploited you think they agree with you in disagree with you they absolutely agree when you tell a woman promiscuity is exploitive whether they say no I want to be beautiful I want to be desired I want to be beloved I want to have somebody in my life but when they never say is I want to rise beyond themselves and that's the declutter that's missing when you're talking about for miscues relationships if you have gifts up within you if you have incomes within you you can't survive compatible with regard to kids urban islands over here as we mentioned already survivals and the Gemara there's two trays that are presented as being analysis silent worship you know what they are all these filters so many dia trade anger because the voice of anger have you noticed this yet always it's like did you did you ever listen live next to somebody who's learning the piano okay so I remember when I was what are the child in America my neighbor was learning the piano they're little girls and they play the same song again and again some of them listen to Arminius okay so anger only knows one call it applies the same song to every life situation here is the soul this is the way it should be it should be the way I want it to be give me simple something trivial the person could get angry though trap this isn't how it should be perfect be able to get from hard-nosed tobacco in less than an hour how it should be interpretations let me write a letter to their congressman or whatever one does in Israel okay give me example something major something Asian is wrong that is wrong hmm having to losing a family member this is the power today I should be a long way should be locations ok terror this isn't how to be right but it's the same thing it shouldn't be the way I don't want it to be Sofia science the Holocaust and we've replies and we use the same datum for ingrown toenails we do not know another negative so this is everything should be the way I want it to be is self-worship ok if you're if you don't worship yourself okay if you're a yahoo and this is personal to take us to a significant which we're getting till you see the truth if you see the truth you can't murder another person now without this so that you could feel good about is not murdering right give us anointing didn't hurt everyone saying no no another good there yeah Theriot so there's a lot of definition inverted by the way until something is no threat to you so we searched into that okay but there's no again only one sense of considered analogous to murder what's that bears humiliating someone okay if you see the truth of someone you can't humiliate them somebody says much in horror let's show is considered to be more severe than murder you can't speak loshon Hara and someone and when people as Travis the truth of their godliness but that is the first temple how did you thing here that we rectify all three of these things so the question is is why decide let us come back second sample - what we didn't so the second temple was built not in the merit of the elbow because we lost then and you can see we haven't regained it totally the lives we built in the merit of Claudius Trudel which means even if this person isn't all that person may be moral and together together it's good about stillness within us could you see where this is true so I want to give you examples of this not everybody in this room is perfectly kind to everybody all the time I'm sure for all human but clients were full of credit is that true first time examples of that come let's hear who we are some subset of the characterized qualities trail the amount of cabal come you have the harness phone book has something like 120 pages 26 of them are the kamacho okay we see people where happens to AMD's starts with G has no no no literacy introduction tell me more faster than we do that are unique would you find that in B Manhattan phone book you would not the Warthog business of clothing so let's hear what packages the food who was the date all after the calamity who was in any place in the world after the calamity who was worried about the people in Gaza starving to death trust me not the Syrians here we have this as a group we don't necessarily always have individually and purely Chloe Estrella has opera Claudio has info we're very devoted we have the ability to do in a chinois service what's the prune event what's the proof that we have spiritual conscience who we are as people we're here we are here nobody is here in this room for any other reason the disease field is loyalty to something beyond self as natural as innocent only TrueView to subscribe all of those Israeli to push to get on the bus 2012 Russian however every last one of them is here because something has ended so as you can be here every one of us has a certain sense of truth and every so often it comes out I remember the events of last summer during the war we were so united we all had a sentences that were in it together and there's no one had turns for god I remember a certain radio moderator whose name I will not say because I'm trying to be careful some of you might have heard this interview he said you religious people or thanks to him but you're a fringe group we limp the real Israel isn't there at all don't you know that he was speaking he said to stir up the others laugh you know what he thought sinners joining in Oroville and for him he said I don't know what real Israel you know that is with the other Israel the one you don't know in Tel Aviv said sighs waited with 20,000 people he Caribbean saying to Hillen these are people who otherwise we living in been a broth can you say that I did okay so you tax one behind okay so since it's who we are so what was the second temple destroyed and what are we going to do about it so the second temple is destroyed because of Tina Tina now that person could make you feel good about yourself now I get substances one of they tell me for no reason whatsoever today let's open the phone book okay okay fine I live a bit absolutely any do any meaningful way that I'm going to here okay so none things thing is paid people senselessly Americans are in denial without meeting people at all apparently not senselessly so we're going to redefine pace and we're going to redefine senseless what is listening give me a reasonable definition of love caring for someone okay so that's why you should use this word for many different levels of love right carries for new board is different caring for spouse you can care for a neighbor right okay it has caring that was closest and concern right and I want to thank you nobody felt it necessary to say love is never having to say you're sorry okay so hate is not caring for someone that's what it is Hey means you don't care about someone the Hebrew word for cruel is observe observe is two words that have been put together to give you a concept the words are up meaningfully and Czar's meaning estranged the stranger hatred means when you see other people when you look at them you see a stranger you see something that you don't care about so what is P nominees okay nom means without just school there are times where you have to strain yourself from someone if they're expensive you have some strange people the device of hatred out there and again hatred limitation means lack of feeling concern and empathy towards people just because they're not that's what see nothing of it now those of you who know me know that you'll see from notes that I have something here that I want you to learn with you it's apparent from it's apparent from Tanya and then have to take it to a whole different direction so starting in the middle of the Terry with time limitation what he says is that if you want to love someone you have to realize that their struggles are the same as you are as yours what is that okay so what a crazy looks at themselves I'm going to give you an exercise now I want you to go back to the words moments in your mind in a moral sense I want you to go back to your words moment of defeat when you really do the wrong thing in a circumstance where you should know better I'm not going to ask to share 60 seconds to think of your worst moments and is that you belong you will come up with this so if you had to revisit that place to afford by some unseen hand to revisit that site and you depress the button and make sense everything would be different now as you press that button so in everybody else who makes their choices so when you're talking about seeing the truth and another person that means learning to get past and finding other people by their bad choices so I want to make that I want to make very clear the difference between this and situational morality here transit relational ethics work where a few Russian no group like this again one person has to be somebody okay so the company leaders Russian knows they probably know that in the bad old days okay people who do things that the government viewed as oppositional sometimes that sense who this bad northern area that that quota pool of the goombas was an onion closed prison there was no need for enclosures with no place to go frozen hundred every direction people would send to the below chomping were in the gulag okay sometimes the punishment to their parents and kind of thing with their parents whatever okay a child sniffles in the gulag had to be a thief a child could not survive there without being a thief could you see where that's true they didn't have the strength to work they could survive the mind they had a seal the children became animalistic the children of the gulag were like little the kinds of animal things don't want to wait to find I'll wake up and find some your bedroom they could kill someone okay now picture a child is a gulag ending up in Israel and Wednesday they're in school and the teacher left is Wallace her wallet on the table for a moment is that wall is going to get stolen how do we chances out of 100 this wallet will be stolen okay so how do you think that this child is really guilty the child is not guilty but stealing is still there you understand we're not saying stealing is bad under some circumstances and okay under there's no stealing is never good the child is a victim of his environment and the proof of it is that he steals stealing to the tragedy so you see other people do things that are wrong you don't have to be defined wrong as right but when you do have to do is be able to say this person is wrong they lost their battle they lost it you don't have to redefine failure is victory the same way loss the same way I lose my vessel so this way of thinking of other people where you can identify their battles and your badness as being one you're fighting war let's say what are some real challenges the people in this room have let's be real from what if the real challenges be safe what the initial to be avenged all the time dealing with health problems that without hatred towards anyone - that anger in anyone the real problems give me some work we have economic struggles together the world component there you have to be able to deal with the economic problems without embitterment without anger without stealing the it whatever we have our issues somebody out there has different issues their issues and not dealing with anger in the faces economic struggle the issue is not any of the things you mentioned somebody out there may be coming to completely different place than you and their issue will be not closing other people out of their lives or their issue maybe not being physically violent when they don't know the words to say and their rage against the spouse or against the child as overwhelms them and it is one of those something better serving people they would have failed sometimes one know something about yourself you're going to fail sometimes so you can either love them because you feel the pain of their failure or you can patient by just associating because their failures are not born failures they have different failures than yours they blow to a different Club that's what peanuts Tina Tina Tina means you you hate them which means again only not feeling close and empathetic because their failures are not your failure okay so why does that destroy the base on Nick - it destroys the Beit HaMikdash because the infighting and the craziness was almost like it is today okay so those are just give you two instances event and we'll get a bit even more positive your other class of our common story right so our Mentalist repeat the story you know the story but in I was writing the story the way I like to call it I would just silence the way it is in the Talmud and the Talmud says because of constant and our concepts the temple was destroyed and everyone sent into exile I would say because of the whole everybody the sentence Asia White House them who Wisconsin was bar consulate the house wanted to invite cops by accident he invited no he wondered by far consummated because I exactly invited I exit invited counsel for Acosta didn't even do anything what he wasn't even as the boring how could you possibly say into the temples of destroyed once again you've all opened your mail husband's out of somebody else's mail right so my eyebrow explains that the word comes so it was probably not anybody's name Kamisha is this you take something you say it's for me it's tension then he just could be financial could be emotional to be spiritual to be verbal are there people out there who are stingy there are you can say that thanks thank you for the fortune okay so content mark Anza are names that are given to people whose main trade would say it has to be for me now let's look at the party let us say this what happen to you your Rison elite company different to the wrong wedding I'm the only one who does you get there is like you're pretty sure minoes well on Tuesday night like everybody here knows like their environment oxygen gosh couldn't possibly be Kelly's wedding okay so you know you're at the wrong wedding what are you going to stick around anyway no if the person said you're not invited use it like they're replaced for every tables it doesn't seem to be one with your name you're going to say okay you have the wedding now the only way a person to constantly do that is if the momentary need to say I try somehow you pay to say I submit in size we must be mistaken they didn't put out a card Lulu yes it's all cut itself okay which is when you're absorbed by self there's no room for any videos 'best comes to bar bounces the political parties of this of that ear was the same as the ones we have today did you know this notice that if you read Josephus if you read your thesis which is a good read anyway okay there's three main political parties one were the assimilation who actually quotes those with President Roh those are the people influence institutes are more like the predominant civilization and everything would be was hunky-dory okay then there was the extreme nationalism and then the ridging ineffectual religious parties has anything changed at all nothing okay we're still stuck there okay so how do you get out of it okay so here's my page I haven't found three simple steps these steps are put together in various significant form by Edison in Milan store rivet agendas so here are the three steps you want to know how to rebuild a stand mixer she begin with these three steps first one you have to be able to look at people when you see them and say everyone is part of me everyone is part of me so you know I you say that because it's true so the famous story mr. Lawry about the man who was going on a sea trip and he bought a cabin he has a cabin made you smooth gets up in the middle of the night the cabinet has a drill a hand what are you doing because what do you care if I get in the boat okay this is a you you can't be like this so when you say everyone is part of me that doesn't mean that's not at all the famous saying everyone is exactly me or even like me the other Koreans were like the human body when you look at the human body even the toenails is as much part of the body as the brains that true or not but the Fox does different parts of the body is different the brain doesn't sit with the hands of the hand doesn't do with the digestive system does everyone has a different mission but you're part of the whole when they connect Israel to rebuild by a Cheney they do this we've look with the music something out there is living the life is totally different than yours who you may disagree with for political reasons for religious reasons for personal reasons but they have a different mission and once you appreciate that it's okay a picnic here is the possible outcome something everyone is part of me think of giving only 10 seconds for this one basis people who use this like you'll never go to the coverlet or any other Prince peach will play to do this think of people you dislike 10 seconds come up with a cup of people use his life how do you could think of anybody they dislike good for you some people did the rest of us or others know that really okay okay so now do you think about this person they're probably good reasons here just like nobody is seeing that kind of attitude last is liking someone today it's either what they did or what they are is that true and there can be overlap when you realize that this person is part of you like your hands part of your body then if you say I dislike this person because of what they did what they are what you're saying is then the part of me I will never accept because that person is part of me when you went back a few moments ago to your bad moments you remember the stuff what did you do in the wake of the vehicle I don't want to know what the bad moment is I want to know what you did with it but you have moments of failure what do you do this he makes a resolution but when you're still feeling very bad you probably eat chocolate go to sleep and it's been to a friend okay you can see this you don't have to wind up okay so be that person for Sundanese this principle you don't like what they do and you don't like who they are realize they fail have compassion they have a different mission they're not supposed to be living your life have enough compassion II would help improve their moments of failure okay next you know what people will say protect them here's a game play pretend it could come tonight I'm still I'm still stuck in traffic okay you actually won season stuff newer laws but in any case so tags Here I am boss source of traffic either one okay so who did they get to come so instead of getting me they get the bottom salary recently risen from the dead okay so these are here it says here I have knives on the tongue okay and how does that I can I can see all of your pants now the pimple is probably true okay so would you all be fascinated to know what you would say about you okay so people will say is the support that really happened so remember I mentioned on suppose a point of six I can see you Rick stingy you're dishonest you're and I'm good for the souls of obviously listen is true the folks are in would you still like me then no we don't really like to know the truth about ourselves and I want to tell you why the cabarrus often said before times what it has to make an oath yoga poses one of the for this is to eat the big fella siva shyam have to be righteous and that wicked and until they can't be bored so the back of everybody's mind there's a desire to see themselves as good I'm okay so people who live terrible lies redefine good but they'll always want to say I'm so subtle they're okay so what if it has to do with anything the fact that you want to see yourself is okay and the other person's part of you means have to change the way you talk about it don't speak flush and holler it's about yourself that you're speaking don't make accusations of accusations ultimately about yourself okay miss so step one is see everyone as part of yourself so I want to bring dysentery a polluted picture of the situation is domestic situation very easy to miss where something would really aggravate you you tell a teenage child that it is very most of the teenage child that makes a little bit better okay tah tah tah tah their company their twenties I expect better of you I expect when I talk to you to tell me the truth and their answer to that is telling you another line today it gets Cadabby terribly upsetting to be terribly cynical so here's who hasn't used to can go to one is I can't believe a word you say you're allowing what is wrong with you how do you expect every relationship anyone okay that's choice in the case of choice P is thinking crevices put yourself in the shoes the chosen thought and secure you can't tell the truth and let us so they can feel okay I have to make them feel safe okay piers the choice now that's white doesn't mean lying is good doesn't mean it's okay it doesn't mean it's okay it means it's not good but because the child is part of me I'm going to help them get out of it okay people are going to fail so when we want to people who fail who who who steal or violence who who - terrible things could there be juice attorneys technically okay so you have to internalize it the way you feel for ten is a measure of how much you care to the aquas of Claudius rail I want to play the story about four barrio means important like a hero so he appoints himself this is the chaplain of the prison in the 20s and 30s now this wasn't a real job it doesn't like the British hired him to be a chastened he appoints himself chapels so his job at first with the job initial his congregation were real criminals they learned so there they weren't good people feel they're like rapist murderer because of the work and then later would you get towards the late 30s early 40s they took the neighborhood change okay instead of had a criminals they had people were registered by the British proposed in traditional in Israel intended to be like very idealistic young men very different than congregation so a man murdered his wife Eric M Kippur my fish a lion is over ridiculous coral he was sentenced to life imprisonment by the British the prison population rejection they didn't want anything to do with him they put it in sort of a favor so the British did he stopped eating because he was depressed I mean it wouldn't mean to preserve a life sentence and people are treating you like an outcast that's the president so the British who wanted to die in prison because it would make them look there so they brought of arghya into the picture what a creep are you say to this person he didn't say oh you must have been like so upsetting and realise what you do is no that wouldn't justify murder and that would put in so that's like saying to someone from you I expect nothing better which is that's not locking the person that's patronizing its knowledge it's like he didn't go there he said into something unspeakably evil - put you in prison engage of the opportunity to do chufa when you do bill to the oldest holy the highest such and the second item is depression that has to give you a relatively contemporary version of the same story my special area there was a girl in the basement was terribly depressed and out of it and I saw this but you know what you came over to something say like you look out of it like you look like you're you know you're orbiting what's the story so you know I was just like watching her and one day she came over to me after class consciousness and the fashion show of reading the rubberized to the presidential harmonies those are the words around because I see something that will be exclusive on what the students and I could say come on let's hear what some kook so she told she told me she'd had an affair with her brother-in-law and her sister found out okay now am I supposed to say so and so she said I can't do choose her for this so I didn't know what to tell her such that I have to think more I went to one of the row button at Nevada that's identifying the girl in any way and I said what they tell her so she says take her to a typical Wasserman but any of you know who were from quarterman was such a remarkable person he was the son of one of the good ole days or pre-war your approval honinbo sermon was very much disposed of shadow if I tell that story it sounds like you've had a terrible life when he would tell us oh you said he had a wonderful life so his father was totally devoted to was killed in the war he survived he he was he valued they had no children okay he started he's human parents remain ages came into the war it failed he started you see even California it failed he started another you see the California what do you think it is he came to Israel open eeschema doesn't one sound like a terrible life here's how he would say I had the course of my life my father so many years I can take this with me forever and I maybe even tired to a possible learning in there was the time for me to move on I made it I knew it was me to move on and in California I got three fuses so many of us get it God does he saw all of the failures and successes because they you really did help people wherever he was so I didn't know what to do and he would come as a gift secrets in a day every so often so I remember the first I thought he looks like Santa Claus well he was all I don't have any look like what he was he he was small and round and white beard and he came up with like notes like this he didn't even begin beating them which I haven't seen directionally but he began to prize that you grow up is so beautiful you're so wonderful what if that happens very emotional and is completely sincere so this is who's around and they told me to take this growth so it sounds like a good idea especially present have any other ideas so he looked on the hosts the red crystal remember this day and as I said walks the bus like you were folks commencement deep in the Bible Belt I'm thinking this isn't a safe is not going to be able to relate her so that I'm there already I went there he was downstairs that's on the door there's his wife who she look like mrs. Santa Paws okay you know around an apron okay look at all big bucks but she yelled fits good crowd we can get some girl from the cemetery came I'd look at who's gonna faint okay so if you take the to the living room political stuff a picture like you see like embroidered things on the arms of the owners of furniture in case this tables were playing on thousand pictures under the glass the whole works and then she takes us into the kitchen and he's as long as you like I had coffee and I had cocoa because some people might call for me and this girl was like she's so the nitrous he is and what a girl I mean I didn't such as and I mean when he got to talkin to the computer it is very chemically so didn't go through study okay he smiled he said I what can I do see a girls today if he couldn't say anything nope so yes I have to talk and I didn't want it like I didn't want to say but we're out here this is a girl and she poses intently for follows chuhwa and he a system has happened the past and well this happens see her sister got married what's the worst thing that you could say now my profession by you and they know what does the know and the brush it was like was a very attractive man he got as soon as I said that you got the whole story short this is during the Future cast and I said yeah and you don't know the ground box I said no he was sure he has a little bladder that used to get the books on the high shelves takes down the rub up and he keeps to the law concerning murder so what's the price until a hundred someone what's the pages they can't bring the person back they have dedicated their lives to making a parallel contribution to the world they took the life they should save life okay so you can do to the terrible act and that's it's the filing and impure and no patronizing here yes before you like to do something pure he said there one day will marry and when you marry you should get a job when you have a job business and dust of your family should put aside money to help build Amisha and you know what she did but I want to tell you what business story means up to me because I didn't know that doesn't happen that this is the closest I have ever seen - Sophia's amazin he revises it so but I mean by that is he was emotionally spiritually gone and you provide so this is what happens again when you see people who are wrong and you can feel compassion toilsome lastest okay so the last step on her list is if you want to work if you want to like people you have to be able to be committed to living what you hold the good life I want to read what she wrote when some of courses can you remember the boats in her shed the person is Justin ages and whatever happens is for our good if it's become financial attitude you can take you can't hire our grudge forgiveness come easily the natural consequence abuse enjoyed a good life free of the weight of anger envy bitterness and Nicolaitans accounts with others what you saying the hardest thing to deal with when you feel hatred towards someone is if they've done you harm of course we have this tricky little psychological mechanism if I feel okay about him and he did me harm that means a harmony isn't real so if the harm is and feels and what they painted up in the standards people think that if they can blame someone then the event didn't happen people want an event to be validated yes he did me harm imagine child comes from a very abusive home okay physically abusive emotionally abusive as I suffer all sorts of issues within themselves because of this because arrogance will try to experience before anything gets into you as they were the victims and somebody else was the perpetrator that's basic people feel if somebody says you could forgive that they don't understand the pain what's you be a lot so that everything ultimately comes from hush because through people but from passion through people they make their man choices but from has shared everything is different people have the ability to walk through life and say I'll leave the challenge of whatever Hashem brought me instead of I'll spend the rest of my life and environment and an anger against this person but most of include which I probably should have been oiled over that's life okay I'm not to conclude collectively to do for many of you okay when the story of Rebbe masculine least the fragment of the story and this story some of you may know it safari of the town and the car so there were two children who grow up in a certain channel one of them was the Tom used he approached white as it is today we didn't survive that we needed to be met the simple the other one was sophisticated he had to deal with things in terms of his own feelings illogical they were to adulthood they went in different directions the he more sophisticated some went to Warsaw making the story shorter than it normally is when his horse saw he saw the big city he got a job and story saw that he was really something that he knows no he didn't work in something you something a dozen profession but you next entry was the doctrine of people haven't listened the world is done to three thousand doctors you have to be make veal money in people to think of you so he began to save his money that you're about to make big investments he got serious money when Beck's was supposed to get married so in the meantime the simple sunset time there were two living shuttles for jobs and even any old job okay as with no he felt strongly is the sophisticated friends then he has to work he had Hawaii who had a similar background which is why he went back to the shtetl to get married because now what's happened the sizzle ceased ad saves of his old friends the time so here has the total if you get up in the morning and even kill his wife why can you pass you guys hope and she'd say which one and he'd say my final compensation sure every day but you taught him his old bully master code from Beverly old and he'd say faith in come home she said what he wants breakfast he said we'll drift what I want I think I would like freshly squozen orange juice and maybe some desserts and a little slice family and she said what you were and what you get is caring and bread okay anything great this is the town skipping Samantha says the case was very curious about both of them how do they maintain a friendship he want to meet them she call from the boat the boats coming for the panelists so the sophisticated would send a sophisticated message or deportment so what finish for the King why is he being to tell the King to give you instructions himself into now I got through the Secretary and waited for secretary is from one of the administrators where did he get it from the one in charge of the household a witness how do we know they're even indicate you never get anyone who never spilled cocaine sit back together and they divide the theory there is no pain people just made up this story in order to control us no Cain and they became very highly reputed intellectual circles until a way to assert because it's a legion what you're said about leaving in the king in the meantime the simple sons back to the palace and the king interviewed him is everything that you would want as a minister he strayed these olives he does enough court matters that should be taught now going down you get to the Royal City he has been a key highway prevention center he's lecturing against existence to the king but one of the people there was a man who owned the main hotel of the city for the King last week he reportages and the King had him sentence to what was the worst sentence in their kingdom they had fooled that had christened in it so the criminals would be thrown into school and if they couldn't stand and they couldn't sit and I've been asleep in the drowned in the mud now in the meantime the simple the simple friend has become Minister of Justice and he was examining all of the files of the very severe case he looked at he said who was Benson quick man looks at the photo I want to meet him personally ghost is it you and he says it is and he says why are you here he said because in this kingdom you can't tell the truth or I told the truth there is no King what do you think the simple sunset I see in the Kings face this very day so that's more or less how the story ends but we can tell you the story is if you want to rebuild a beit hamikdash in yourself you have to learn simplicity that's where they said to accept things and people as they are you have to feel compassion for them you have to see them is one of yourself you have to not be able re disappointment in them to color your compassion you have to thwart them back to you as well I want to tell you something it's relatively easy to do this to people who are listening it's much harder to do this with people more than you did you see where the success there's two dozens of people more than you as well as people who live [Music]