☎️ Thu March 6 | 9 PM ET | Rabbi Shais Taub LIVE call-in show

are live we are live and we are really live cuz I'm going to tell you what I did I put on the ultra L latency and for those of you who don't know what that fancy technical jargon means what it means is that normally there's a long delay between the real thing that's going on and how long it takes to show up on your computer screen or your phone screen or whatever it is but I put on ultra low latency and the reason that I did that is so that you could interact with me um in real time but what does it mean you you can interact with me in real time well I'll tell you who you is who can interact with me anyone who can comment who can comment anyone who's a member yeah I did that why did I do it that way well because I didn't want to get spammed by um irrelevant comments some people just see something live is on they're like oh fun and they just start typing stuff so I created a little filter you have to be a member of the channel uh I think it costs like $2 a month or something I I don't remember what it is but for less than a cup of coffee depends where you get your coffee uh you could be a member and then you can comment are there any members in the crowd in the virtual crowd virtual audience right now go ahead and write in the chat right now maybe it'll Inspire other people who are not yet members to uh to want to become members anyone want to say hi in the chat hi usel T I'm assuming that's usel tab who's the producer of the show along with his wife Mali and yel and Mali had to take off uh a couple weeks ago cuz they had a baby but they're back at it now and um bashem we are back with the live show the live calling show bashem maslov okay um mazov on the baby and on the live calling show so what else did I want to tell you I wanted to tell you that my Instagram got hacked and it was probably hacked for months and I didn't even realize it but finally the hacker outed himself or herself by posting some silly crypto offer in my posts so anyways seems to all be resolved now fear not fear not um so that's all I'll say about that now do you know about Soul Survivors Soul Survivors is a pun usually it's Soul Survivor like s o l e the only Survivor so how could it be Soul Survivors plural it's a terminological in congruity that's a o well no it's not cuz it's Soul Survivor spelled s o l s o l Soul Survivors and it's for sensitive people who are struggling with their embodiment and we want to learn how to be more present and show up for our god-given mission here in the physical world Soul Survivors maybe somebody could post the link to Soul Survivors I mean heck I'll do it I know what it is it's Soul words .org SL Soul [Music] survives bam okay I just put the link in the chat and you can go join our virtual community for Soul Survivors um yeah we started it last month we have I think 118 members and growing barem barash okay uh you'll check it out you'll see what it is and you'll decide if you want to join um I'm gonna make Soul word's house is almost ready I need a little bit of money do you know anyone who wants to give me some money uh the so's house is a half a block from The Isle and we're going to use it for events eventually we're going to do the live in live call-in show from over there because we're going let me tell you a little about the sart's house the first floor is an event space where we'll be able to have events and faans and classes it's going to be awesome the basement is off limits to the public the basement is going to be um a full state-of-the-art podcast studio video production facility so that's where we'll start doing uh this call-in show and all the other stuff will be produced from there and the house is almost ready and we need a little bit more money to finish if you're watching this and you would like to be involved in getting the house finished uh maybe you want a naming opportunity how about that maybe there's a loved one you would like to name something after you could name the kitchen you could name the main event space you could name the library you could name the podcast Studio you can name the um we have guest rooms upstairs for people who are staying for chabas at the you can name one of those um you can name the the garden we didn't do that yet we have that's phase two we're going to make a beautiful garden in the back the deck for like outdoor activities when the weather is nice but yeah if you would like to be uh to support the soulwords house yeah we'll we'll put a link here soulwords dogd donate but if you want to do something really significant give me a call um like a large number like a naming type of dedication yeah if you think that uh that interests you um yeah send me an email uh Rabbi soulwords dorg and uh we'll we'll talk okay um is there anything else I want to talk about for now Isel is there anything else that we need to address um you so you there I think we're ready to start with our first caller and we can take a little break in between each caller if you want to do like an intermission okay excellent so I it's it says um our first caller is K okay welcome K all right hi there hi how you doing you know I have a daughter named K I did not know that yes I didn't know you have a daughter-in-law named Maly I have a daughter-in-law named Maly we just mentioned her that is true malaba our dear malaba for your grandaughter grandson grandson Kim YF grandson yeah wow okay that's so yeah so what's up what's up is that I am dating and I have some questions about marriage specifically um questions about a woman's role in marriage yes um it just like from from what I've learned everything seems like very passive um a woman is Mao she's the receiver okay so let's let's expl let's explain that for our crowd because they may not know all this inside baseball that you're referring to this maell stuff okay and by the way I highly recommend you give the contest well I I will I will recommend to people if they want the real deep dive they should study the from the and if they would like a class in the uh come uh take a look either at soulwords dorg or at my YouTube channel or Spotify or wherever you like to enjoy shaab content and there's some you know look up the but very very very um briefly that there's a concept of the feminine and masculine spiritual energies which is mishia and maabo which I'll translate as provider and recipient and um yeah so yeah let's talk about that at any rate go I I cut you off but I just wanted to fill everyone else in with like those terminologies but please continue no I also thanks for your suggestion about setting that M I didn't that one okay maybe and maybe if if you learn like last but not that okay if you if you if you learn that mimer then maybe all your questions will be answered but then we w't have this amazing call so I'm glad that you didn't learn the mimer yet okay but there we go okay okay but continue continue please okay so we were saying that the woman is the receiver yes um and that's like really that's where all the basis of everything that I think I know from like that's always the the drawing point but that's where yeah um rooted yeah um and then even just like within other helic sources I can't think of much where it's like an active role that the wound plays yeah so you're not getting you're not getting very excited about this idea of becoming uh somebody's receiver no well no no no I actually I don't mind in I'm fully on board but um I've been dating someone and he really he he's been taking it very seriously and he scoped out and really wrote out exactly what he views marriage is and why he wants it and what his like obligations are in the marriage and like what he would bring to the marriage okay and I've been trying to complete my own and I've been getting very very stuck because I'm like ah what am I gonna say I I say I'm going to trust I'm going to receive like what am I actually bringing here that's very deep in other words it's like if you're the provider you can make a whole list of stuff that you're going to provide if you're the recipient it's like well whatever gets provided I don't know I guess I'll find out that's kind of what you're say yeah exactly yeah okay can we can we talk about this like really talk about it like go deep into it that's really good okay awesome okay so masculine and feminine the bringing it out what' you say thanks for seeing the depth in it and like um bringing it out like very deep it's a very deep what I'm really asking yeah yeah yeah it's a very deep question um so masculine and feminine mashia maab provider recipient okay it's a very easy concept to get wrong and to misunderstand so I want to go over it slowly and carefully so we don't make any mistakes okay okay classic example of masculine and feminine energies in the spiritual realm before we even get to male and female are the six work days and chabas the six work dayss are masculine chabus often called The chabus Queen Is feminine what is masculine about the six work days and what is feminine about shabas well the six work days are all about doing they're all about activity and in a certain way it's about conquering because you're going out into the world and fixing what's broken and writing what's wrong shabas you don't fix anything you have a foretaste of the Messiah era where everything is as it should be and instead of doing you are now engaged in being which is by the way why shabas can drive some people crazy because when you can't distract yourself with doing and you just have to be it can become uh like sensory deprivation you know like those people s in those sensory deprivation tanks I'm I'm I'm joking about it but it's actually pretty serious like you're a single person you're dating that means you're single and for a lot of singles like chabas is actually really really really a hard time because you don't have anything to do the whole point of shabas is just to be and it becomes like this very lonely time and uh yeah that's a whole other discussion but so you have the six work days as doing shabas as being and then what's the relationship between them like how do they interact with each other well pretty simple uh we're told that one who toils on ER of chabas will have what to eat on chabus which means basically if you wantan to let's say you want to eat a potato coule you know shabas Fair potato coule you classic traditional uh at least R asaz and potato CLE you know that's a pretty standard chabus dish so let's say you want a potato cogo on chabas well you're going to have to go out make money earn money spend the money at the store buy the potatoes bring them home uh chop them up grate them peel them not in that order by the way um mix them with all the ingredients and bake them uh you're going to have to do all of that on Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday but if it's chabus already and you say oh I want a potato coule sorry too late too late in other words doing is over there's no more doing and whatever you got you got so shabas receives in that sense she's a recipient she receives from the six work days cuz she can't make her own potato coule the six work days are the days for making potato coule they make the potato coule they give it to her she receives it okay now when you tell the narrative like that shabas actually sounds kind of pathetic because she can't even make a potato cogal she can't make anything and she's completely dependent on all the other days of the week to provide her with anything that she's going to have and that's kind of where you started from like with that comment about you know it seems kind of passive right I'm asking like it feels kind of passive yeah but I wasn't coming at it from a um like there was no hesit hesitancy with that I I see how how it can be an active thing but like I'm speaking something even more like I feel like I'm still not bringing enough to the table okay but let's let's continue with with okay right yeah so you you don't particularly have any resistance to this passive concept but it's creating a problem because you you you kind of feel the need to have as robust of a list of what marriage means to you as your perhaps future husband or the guy you're dating and because of the nature of receptivity you don't even know what that list would entail so what I'm saying to you is you might not have this problem uh you don't have this problem but a lot of people do have this problem and now you also have this problem because this list is forcing you to have the problem and the problem is what's up with passivity what's up with like I'm just sitting here waiting for something it's like but what do I do until I get something and what's what's my role what's my activity how how is it defined other than being a response to something else coming from outside of me so let's finish the rest of the story about the six days in chabas and tell the untold other half of that story because if you only tell that half that we told it sounds like chabas is pretty pathetic actually completely dependent completely passive can't do anything for herself okay so the other half of that story is that yes only the six days of the week are appropriate for making cougal or cholent or anything else that you want to make and chabas doesn't make any of that stuff that's true however the rest of the story the other half of the story is what shabas does with the cougle when she gets it you eat a cougle on Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday you're just consuming calories it's just a cogle on chabus it becomes something completely different chabas is a day where everything is Sanctified everything is elevated it's not about the cougle anymore it's about having a day of the week where you get back in touch with your essence like I was saying before six days a week we do on chabas we just be what does it mean to just be it means to be who you truly are to get back in alignment with your truest self and regain purpose identity meaning that's all the that's all the domain of shabas chabas gives us a reason to go back out into the six days that follow her that come after her and do it all over again so in that sense chabas gives the six work days give chabas a cougle and chabas turns around takes that cougle and gives back meaning purpose a reason for going out into the world for another six days which if you have to compare the two what the six work days are giving to chabas and what chabas is giving to the ensuing six work days um you know one is pretty quantifiable and physical and limited the other one is spiritual and unlimited and unquantifiable now if you understand that Dynamic that the recipient that shabas as a recipient is emblematic of all femininity and that when we say femininity is a recipient what it really means is it takes what it received and upgrades it now you can go and you can plug that into to a lot of other masculine feminine paradigms and I want to give examples that are not male female why because especially in 20125 there's a lot of resistance to gender roles and before we even talk about it as a male female thing let's talk about it you know masculine and feminine don't have to be male female proper um for instance I'll give you another example teacher student is masculine and feminine the teacher is the provider the student is the recipent by definition because if the teacher didn't have something to teach then the teacher's not a teacher and if the the student didn't have what to learn meaning some lack of knowledge then the student's not a student so teacher student is masculine feminine Giver recipient but that's only half of the story only half of the story is when you say well the teacher's so smart and the student obviously isn't smart cuz they're the one who has to take the class but hold on what's the rest of the story the rest of the story is our sages tell us I have learned much from my teachers even more from my colleagues but from my students most of all mum what does it mean I've learned from my students most of all what it means is that what a teacher gains from a good student is more than what you can even gain from a teacher that a real recipient draws out things from the provider that the provider did not have access to and then anyone who's ever given a class knows this by the way good students inquisitive students students who challenge students who who who push will draw wisdom out of you you did not even know you had so in that case who's the real provider it ends up being like well there's the provider the recipient but then the recipient ends up becoming also a provider and not only also a provider but in a certain way a greater provider a greater provider because what she and I'll use the feminine pronoun here the recipient gives back to the provider is actually an upgrade over what she initially received I'll give you another Paradigm that's not gender based that's uh a uh a a donor like a philanthropist it doesn't have to be like a rich guy but I'm saying a giver someone who gives charity and the recipient so I say just tell us clearly more than the I'll use the ttic terms balabas does for the on the on does for the balabas more than The Giver does for the recipient the recipient does for The Giver meaning the The Giver gives the recipient some money and whether it's a dollar or a million dollars it's quantifiable but what the recipient did for the giver and allowing The Giver to do a Mitzvah to perform one of God's Commandments you can't put a price on that that's infinitely valuable so again the recipient gives back an upgraded or I should say in incomparably upgraded version I'll give you another example that's also not gender based and that is um the seed planted in the ground the seed is masculine the ground is feminine when you put the seed in the ground what happens they say that anyone can count the seeds in an apple but only God can count the apples in a seed because there are really infinite apples in every seed at least if it's an apple seed there's no apples in a orange seed probably not but there are infinite apples in every apple seed because the ability to reproduce generation after generation after generation is at least it's in principle it's unlimited but that will only be revealed when the ground receives the seed so the if you look at just half of the story you say the ground is so so so pathetic it can't even grow stuff without the seed yeah but what happens when the seed is introduced to the ground the ground takes that one seed and turns it into unlimited generations of fruits that have more seeds so again it's Giver recipient but recipient that turns around and becomes an even bigger recipient you following this so far yeah okay this make sense to you yeah okay makes sense okay makes sense all right all right so now let's go back to your question your question is if I'm the recipient the very nature of my role is going to to be going to be defined to a great extent by whatever it is the provider chooses to provide so how can I come up with a list when B basically I'm I'm waiting to find out you know like I I'll give you another example now it is gender based and I already feel the the push back I already I can already sense the people tightening up but it I give you and they're going to get so mad well not everybody conforms to traditional gender roles I know that I know that I'm speaking in Paradigm not your members your MERS aren aren't thinking like that oh yeah yes yes yes they are yeah of course if they have YouTube if they have YouTube yeah everybody's influenced of course if they have YouTube they're already influenced so um our sages tell us that a man comes home with grain but you cannot eat grain you cannot eat flour it is the woman who turns it into bread and from that we gain nourishment now again again there you have masculine and feminine Giver recipient where the recipient creates an upgrade in what she was provided okay CU think about it like this if the woman is sitting around waiting for the man to bring home the grain he doesn't bring home the grain so she's got nothing to bake with so there's no bread so that half of the story again she's passive she's just sitting and waiting but then you tell the rest of the story yeah but what he brought home you can't chew wheat you can't chew flour it doesn't actually it's it's interesting um it says in the in L of the AL that a person could actually starve to death eating flour I've never tried it and I never like Googled it to see if anyone had ever done such an experiment it would probably probably be unethical uh it would certainly be unethical but apparently the body cannot gain uh nourishment from just flow which is wild if you think about it yeah the Altera says it's yeah it's the water and the fire which have no nutritional value it's interesting water has no nutritional value fire has no nutritional value but you take the flour you mix it with the water bake it with the fire and then the body can absorb the the calories and the nutrients in in the flour so again she's waiting he doesn't bring home any flour there's nothing to bake but even after he brings it home no one no one's living off of this flower she turns it into the form that can actually be uh useful so if we're to understand the feminine role in these terms what more can we say about it to describe this role other than I'll sit around and find out what kind of flower he brings home you understand what I'm saying like what what is your function other than just saying I'll see what happens if if we are to describe that function within the parameters that we've given anything coming up for you well I've heard you previously explain it as transforming okay can you talk more about that is also connected well trans transforming would would be meaning taking that grain and transforming it into bread and and giving back this this um grain that had all this potential in it but with the potential being utilized in accent so talk more about that like describe what that would look like and if you can start to connect to it personally and envision yourself as the person doing it that would be even cooler what would it look like what does that look like you see on academic level I got it okay let's try to personalize it not on not on a personal level I I I can't connect with do well let's talk it through okay I feel like I'm taking up this whole call though this is your call you're the caller okay you want to know by the way what we're doing right now is feminine um I know that you know you mentioned the word but not everybody knows all this lingo but let's teach them a little bit you know about and Bina so and Bina are both intellectual faculties uh I'm not even going to use the English wisdom and understanding because it's not really very accurate that's the way they usually translate it it's not really helpful but be are both intellectual faculties they're two different intellectual faculties and you know that one is masculine one is feminine in fact one is called the father and one is called the mother ah I heard that but I didn't like it just didn't click which one is which now it click which one is which I the HMA is the father yeah HMA is the father and Bina is the mother how is kma a father and be as a mother kma is the initial like kernel of an idea where it's like really abstract where you don't really know where it's going to go but you kind of have that first inkling of inspiration but it's very very abstract very theoretical and then beina is elaborative thought beina gives Dimension width to uh the little know you talk about kma as being a little kernel or a little dot you can literally think about it as a dot in the mathematical sense and that if if if kma is a DOT a point rather that's the proper term um if if if kma is a is a point then Bina is a plane it gives dimensionality and when we elaborate on an idea we flesh it out like literally when the little dot the little package of DNA goes into the womb and is developed in the womb and becomes a full-fledged baby with uh Limbs and you know uh a personality and a smile and all of that happens within the feminine sector so too with BMA is the abstract flash of an idea Bina is where it gets taken apart put back together analyzed and become something functional and multifaceted complex so what we're doing right now is actually we're in the sector of Bea right now because we're taking one idea and we're looking at it from multiple levels multiple planes until we get it until it you know makes sense not just on an academic level like you said before like yeah I get it on an academic level but in a very practical way um so let's let's let's let's do some beina over here what does it look like to be the one who receives upgrades and gives back can you give an example of of the giving aspect and then I roll with that yeah sure I'll give you an example I would do the same for chat GPT so I'll do it for you and I'm sure you'll do even better than chat GPT okay um a man has an abstract idea he says let's take the kids out but that's about as developed as it is and the the wife says okay well let's think let's think let's figure out something that's age appropriate for all the kids let's think about something that is we can afford let's think about something that is accessible as far as where it's Loc ated uh let's think about something that they'll actually like um you make sure to pack the sandwiches cuz we don't know if they're have going to have kosher food over there and uh here's how many uh uh changes of clothing we're going to have to bring for the for the six-hour trip because you know this one kid is going to mess up his clothes and then we're going to have to bring some diapers for the little one you know and then all right we'll pack the car and then it actually happens so sounds like you've done this before yeah yeah yeah so so um he that's bring an example that's bringing it to life yeah she brings it to life she makes it really happen she really makes it happen so that would be an example now try to can you try to picture yourself in this role and talk about what you might do and how you might add your special touch your special flare um well I guess I I could just summarize what you said okay okay we can start with that like of what of what she's doing now she's she's like flushing out what his idea was and making it more practical and making it like not just practical in a um practical also in the sense of like you know Shing everyone's needs in the situation right and to maybe maybe that could be My Touch like to fulfill everybody's needs I just want to back up the something you're glossing over to fulfill everybody's needs in the situation you're skipping uh something maybe you intuitively know what it is but I want to say it explicitly to fulfill everybody's needs in the situation requires having knowledge of those needs yeah and I don't want to say something sexist but some sometimes men don't really understand what everyone in the household actually needs they understand it in a general way and and I I say that's okay you know for a people are going to be so triggered by this because it sounds so sexist but for a man to say even if a wife is working and making money even if she's making more money than him but for him to say listen my role is to pay for this stuff I don't exactly understand every purchase that needs to be made that's not my specialization I'm HMA not Bina but you know I'll make sure that the family is supported that we have that we can pay the bills but the reality is the purchasing agent is my wife she's the one who knows what everybody needs and when they need it where they need it and you know what comes from Amazon Prime and what we have to go to the store for and what you get from Costco and you understand the the the difference like there's the theory and there's the practice and and a and a wife has to not only implement the practice but she has to be a genius in knowing what the different needs are okay so I interrupted you but try to describe this as a as a real life hopefully your your real life tell me about tell me what it looks like can you can you envision yourself 10 years from now let's say you marry this guy this year like 10 years from now what what does life look like tell me about a day tell me about a moment I can't access that right now just just because we're we're on a like live public ho and it just feels like too like I'm not you'll expose too much information enough in order to do that could you say something super General that could apply to almost anyone um we can do that okay definitely do that okay um okay so there's a mom I'm assuming and you and and that's you that's we're putting that aside really you can't go there yet okay all right I respect that all right there's this mom there's this theoretical abstract faceless mom fa faceless namess mom yeah okay and she's not taking her kids apart cuz that would be taking steing your example um and I I I can't think of my own if you give me like the the guy's idea I can roll up with that but I can't I can't think of my own what what does she do to make sure that shabas is coming um we're setting the clocks ahead this Saturday night which by the way is true we are setting the clocks ahead this Saturday night and that means tonight or this week tomorrow night chabas will be candle lighting time will be something like I don't know 5:45 don't quote me on that but something like that and then next week all of a sudden it's going to be at like 6:45 and we're making kiddish all of a sudden 8:00 so tell me what this theoretical mother does when she knows that all of a sudden kidish is going to be at 8:00 when it used to be at 7 o'clock she's got she's got little kids what kind of what what kind of precautions does she take what uh awareness does she need to have what uh what changes does she have to make make sure the kids hadn't have a nap before or maybe they have an extra snack before candle lighting keep them going a little bit Yeah Yeah and and again not to be sexist but I I the husband is not really the one who's going to make sure that happens really he's not going to be it's it's like so what I'm saying is we started before saying that the female role seems kind of passive but what I'm saying is it's not really passive because she's the one who's really stepping up and getting stuff done in so many ways I'm also also my question is more in the sense of a marriage for kids because I know that a lot of a woman's role revolves around that so I took the easy way out and I described child uh rearing scenarios because that's when it becomes really easy to describe and now you're pushing me and I'm going to I'm going to try to rise to the occasion okay but what about before kids or even after kids but you know you do have a relationship with your husband that exists outside of just being parents right you still have hopefully uh a relationship as a husband and wife even after you start raising kids so what does that look like in in emotional terms what does that what does that look like can can you try to plug this into the Mish maab Paradigm as we have defined it and describe cribe an emotional connection or an interaction between a healthy husband and wife so um I'm giving the the framew for this idea that the husband comes up with an idea and the woman flushes it out scrips it out and and makes it like transforms it and upgrades it yeah and it doesn't have to always be an idea because an idea is intellectual sometimes it's emotional it's not intellectual it's emotional in other words it can be emotional energy that's very important I always tell men you are the provider and provider doesn't just mean financially it means probably primarily emotionally and I I always tell men like when you come home you have to bring the emotional energy and you have to give your wife that that gift you have to give her the emotional energy she'll take that and amplify it multiply it upgrade it but you got to be the initiator but that's what I tell man don't don't worry about that that's none of your business forget that you heard that um okay but think about it emotionally you know what a healthy emotional reaction or or interaction looks like between a husband and a wife who are aligned with that masculine feminine paradigm you know let's say he comes home and he gives you a little bit of attention a little bit of emotional he makes that Overture he makes that bid for a connection so it's the art of femininity to be able to receive it and I want to like stop for a second and just make a disclaimer um no women do not have to receive any emotional energy that their husband offers if it doesn't feel safe then you should not receive it because if you receive something that's that's not emotionally safe if it's disrespectful and then you feel violated so first of all I don't want you to feel violated but second of all it doesn't even help the relationship because all that'll happen is when a woman feels violated she feels like she's being encroached upon emotionally instead of she feels that she's being given to emotionally then a wall goes up and she can't prevent it from going up it'll go up and that's when a relationship dies because out of a god-given defense mechanism a woman will start to protect herself emotionally and she'll eventually check out emotionally and then then you know it's very hard to come back from so no women don't have to receive any emotional energy that their husband is offering only when it's healthy but let's say he does offer some emotional energy some attention some excitement something that he wants to connect with you over so the art of femininity is to take that absorb it absorb it meaning meaning to really feel it to feel what he's putting out there and then to amplify it and return it back to him there's you know there's something really uncanny about like it's it's a weird thing but like for for a lot of men an experience is isn't fully an experience until you've told your wife about it and she's shared in your joy and by the way for a lot of men that is a great source of pain that if they're not able to do that for whatever reason um you know and they can't get that response and it's uh yeah that's that's when the the husband feels very very lonely and then the wife ends up feel feeling very lonely as well and they they're both lonely and especially you know another sexist comment but women tend to have friends and when they have friends they actually tell them about their life men even if we do have friends we don't tell them about our life what do you tell men you know men don't tell them anything so it's like you have someone to process things with and share things with probably have a few people you know right but like a man when he wants to tell something to his wife that in very you know it's very common but that could be like the only real place he has to share anything that's of great personal significance to him like the only place he has to really share and process is in his relationship with his wife no pressure so you understand like what a massive role that is I'm hearing it well and I I never would have thought that like that men desire that yeah I thought of that more as a a feminine thing like wanting that like that woman want someone to be with them in in like in that how um female relationships often aren't like you know always the the complaint against men is that they're trying to solve a problem and a woman just wants someone to be with them in the problem and and they're happy to go themselves yeah well it you know essentially men want it in a little bit different way than women do and of course again I'm speaking in generalizations but yeah it's a great misunderstanding to think that no men don't really want to ever share anything with anyone of course they do of course they want to share it and they want to share it with someone who they care about and when a husband tells a wife about something that happened to him he's telling her because he respects her he values her opinion and in fact if you understand the give a recipient Paradigm properly then this will make sense to you he doesn't really fully know what he's experienced until he re-experiences his own experience Through The Eyes of his wife so when he shares it with her and she's able to absorb it and give it back to him that's when it really becomes real for him wow it's a tremendous power so until he gets married he hasn't experienced of his own experience to a certain extent that's true that's true uh wow you know a single man on his own there's a certain depth of life that is just unreachable you you understand it's not just like oh you get married you have a wife and you can have new experiences like what new experiences you go to Niagara Falls on your honeymoon like that's not what it means what it means is there's a depth and a richness to the experiences of life that you cannot access until you're able to share it with a wife wow would you say the same for women because before you said women have friends to do that way for women what they're getting out of it is a little bit different it's different what men are lacking until they get married is different than what women are lacking until they get married I mean another sexist comment but um a man who's single for too long it takes a real toll um like emotionally a woman women can do much better single for longer um you know they might be unhappy because they're frustrated that they want to get married they they haven't gotten married married but like it's much easier for a woman to have a normal healthy productive life when she's single than it is for a man not saying it can't be done but it's much harder for a man um than it is for a woman so what what what a man ultimately receives by being a provider is way more than what he provides that really like that broke it down like now now I'm getting it and now you see how important your role is and how really you're the one who is going to determine everything you know he may bring home the flour and that will determine whether it's wheat flour or barley flour or spell or oats or rye but you're the one who decides whether it's going to be pancakes or bagels or blindes M sorry for the silly metaphors but I think you understand what we mean thank you so this gives you a little bit of uh something to work with can start on your list gives me a lot thank you very much okay now I have a request from you will you please send me an invitation I will okay B in the right time okay amen thank you very much for your time okay my pleasure okay Al righty do we have a moving on next call moving on to our next caller uh we have a Kate Kate on the line okay hello fantastic hi Kate thank you for waiting hello Ravi how are you thank God I'm doing okay I'm doing okay thank you for calling thank you for calling so what's on your mind this evening so I'm gonna be very honest and tell you that I wrote my question in like a week or two ago and the more time I have spent um up until this moment of being on the phone the more it just my question seems trivial to me in a way and so but it wasn't trivial to you two weeks ago um it hasn't been trivial for about eight months now but I still find myself in these moments where I'm like I already know the answer okay so I what I want to do is I I want to stop you for a second and I want to tell you something I don't want you to be dismissive of your own question now you told me a few numbers that I'm holding in my head 2 weeks 8 months you've been dealing with something I don't know what it is yet but it's been for eight months two weeks ago you wrote a question but now you're kind of feeling like it's not such a big deal and what I'm going to say to you is maybe it's no longer a big deal maybe you've gotten over it but um if it was with you for eight months I don't think it just disappears I think it's significant I think maybe you're having a strong moment right now um and sometimes just knowing that like help is on the way it's a strange phenomenon but like oh I wrote the email already to the rabbi like it sort of calms you down even before you get a response right and but right now you may tell me whatever it is that's been bothering you is no longer an issue but I I want to give you permission to honor whatever feelings you've been having for eight months and not to assume that it's it's trivial um so w w with that preface do you would you still like to share this issue here would you would like to discuss it with me I would okay yes please okay and we we'll see if it's significant still okay okay um so uh just a little about who I am I am a woman who is approaching 40 I am single I have never been married I am not on a marriage track and I do not have children I don't have I've never had my own children okay that being said and this might sound crazy to people but my dogs have been my children my dogs have been my life Companions and eight months ago and this is where I start feeling like this is Trivial issue just mentioning that eight months ago I lost a dog that I had for 12 years okay and it has completely upended my entire life my world viiew um and the thing that I've been struggling with the most is the fact that I do not feel that I have had a single opportunity from my family and my loved one my best friend to grieve the loss of this companion um and the loss of what he and I shared for 12 years taking care of each other and I know that you know I'm every day since the dog has died in June I have cried the cries of just a person that I never even knew was inside me and it has been have you ever lost a dog9 days I have so I lost a dog about um right before I got this one I lost a dog when he was just two it was very traumatizing I didn't expect this to be as traumatizing because I got this dog to 12 years old but it was actually more it was much more yeah the loss of the 12-year-old dog was much more than the loss of the 2-year-old dog in many many ways yes um the the loss of the two-year-old dog was traumatizing to me because it happened when I was in my early 20s I still grapple with the trauma of that but having spent 12 years as a mostly single woman living spending my days getting my oxytocin from this joyous little dog and being able to as a woman take care of something and like I I I have reached out to my family in a number of ways as you can tell I am a verbose individual I use my words uh I've written them letters I have asked them for help in the form of a hug just come listen to me talk about him um please help me make a grave marker for him and not once has any of my family sat in this home with me where this dog and I lived and held me while I cried and they you know are they generally supportive in other ways and they just don't get this I think that is the bigger picture because they do offer me assistance for example my parents they offer me Financial um financial help um but that doesn't mean that you know for example I'm not hurt by the fact that my father hasn't picked up the phone to call me since the day before the dog died okay so they generally are supportive you have a warm relationship it's just this particular thing about the dog that for whatever reason they don't get how significant it is to you um I think so um I will say though that in general my family is not necessarily a warm family um we are five people in different states and my parents divorced When We Were Young so we have all suffered from that to this day we are dysfunctional um you know I've been told by my therapists for example why would you expect your family to be there for you in this time of crisis when they've never really been there for you ever you know you it's not something that happens in family necessarily okay so then to clarify they're they're not necessarily the warmest people and this is just one more thing that they don't get okay fine so now first to me for some no at first you said that they were supportive and then you said well your therapist really kind of said well they they're not so supportive like maybe financially but well let me ask you let me ask you a different way Financial let me let let me ask you a different way because I just want to get clarity here um your family do they bond deeply over emotional issues like do they talk about feelings no no okay fine so like your therapist said why are you surprised they don't get the dog thing okay fine no problem got it that that that's the clarity that I was seeking about that all right but still it's very lonely because they are the humans in your life and you wanted to mourn with other human beings and nobody's really able to do that um yeah you don't have any friends who kind of understand no I don't I'm not good at um keeping friends or even jobs and professional relationships because I'm I think I'm struggling with I I do I am in the middle kind of of assessing whether or not I have some sort of spectrum yeah I don't know they use the word disorder or you know neurod Divergence or whatever it may be but no I am not I'm not very good I don't at making friends I've moved a lot and I don't have a I don't have a friend yeah and and it sounds like as much as you don't have me meaning F human Connections in your life but you have had some very deep and you have some very deep uh connections with animals um I have very very deep connections with an animals I by the way you just in generally are you in in general like good with animals I'm very yes I'm very good with animals can you tell me a little bit more about that um well animals are um they appreciate my presence in a way that they they generally get comfortable with me um and I have been known to be the neighborhood dog Watcher that people will ask no questions and give me their dogs for a week and I've always had a connection to my pets like my it'll sound crazy but I had a squirrel once that I rescued off the street cuz she was too young and her eyes were closed and that little squirrel still sits deep in my heart even know only had her for two weeks like I and I would like to dedicate my life to helping animals or or helping people but helping one of the two for sure have you ever thought about doing this in a professional capacity I have um one of my concerns was that if somebody who struggles with depression I know that veterinarians have a very high suicide rate and I do struggle with seeing animals in any position where they're in pain now I have thought about other ways that I could go into that yeah so yeah veterinarians have to see animals who are in pain you know but like a a groomer for instance doesn't really deal with right I've been I'm also a I'm a photographer as well so I've also been thinking about doing animal photography like pet I bet You' be awesome at that final days you could give people gift of pictures of their pet if wow yes have you done that have you tried it oh so I have not but I am I am a very very good photographer and I have all the confidence in myself and there's you know there's something about myself that I'm able to touch Dark Places more often and more deeply than I feel the average person is and so I think sometimes the world needs people like me to take those pictures in those moments and to be strong for those people and those animals wow that's is this something by the way is this something that exists because I've I I'm not like I'm not a I should say I don't have any pets I'm not an animal owner although I did win the confidence of a few feral cats which I'm very proud of and I made whole made a whole video bragging about how I got feral cats to eat from my hand which was the extent of my you know relationship with animals but um I've NE so my point is I don't know a lot about like pet ownership um is this a thing that exists like people who take pet photos especially of like pets who are in their near nearing their end of life I believe it is because I've definitely seen examples of it I think at this time it's kind of in a phase where it's like something it's a niche thing that only certain people will go out and search for um but I personally think that with the way that dogs and humans have evolved and how much dogs are like in our life and in our economy and stuff I think that the relationship between dogs and humans is so valuable and that pet um I don't know what it would be called like pet I don't know what it would be called but a a photograph of a family with their pet in their last days when they know they don't have a lot of time left or they don't know how many Summers left they have or they just got got diagnosed with cancer yeah I mean I wish to this day that someone would have done that for me and my dog cuz not a photo of me and my dog exists oh my goodness for years and the only one that does exist is me puddled over him when he was in the hospital hooked up to all these machines and tubes for a month before he died it was a candid so you don't have a photo the dog who passed the 12-year-old dog who passed away uh um by the way you you said you said him so it's a he he was a he yes he his name was Goose goose like the bird Goose like the bird what breed was he he was a little purebred uh miniature pincher like a little mini Doberman um he's just little 10 pounds he was all a lot of those little mini pinches are black with the rust color like ad Doberman coloring but he was all red um I took impeccable care of him I um I viewed him as a just the best to this date the biggest blessing that the Universe has given me and it has taught me more than any other relationship in my life could you share with us I a lesson or two that you learned from your relationship with goose oh my goodness well first of all resilience is key resilience resilience resilience Goose was 10 lbs teeny tiny he got beaten up by big dogs in the dog park and stuff like that but that dog and any dog no matter how low they are beaten down they are so resilient and he taught me resilience there is not a thing that you can't bounce back from if you have the right attitude wow and that that was the main I think of him and I think you know this little 10 pound dog he was so beautiful in such like a Heavenly Godly way just the what he taught me and how strong he was and how much love he gave unconditionally and you know I didn't know how to laugh before I had this dog really and he made me laugh every single day yeah I didn't I didn't know how to laugh like I literally didn't I didn't really have a laugh I was either like you know not laughing or I was like you know when someone gets you cracking up rolling and you can't breathe it was one of those two but now the goose is been in my life I have a laugh I I I know like he just brought me so much joy he uh he taught me a lot do you do you still have access to that laugh now now that you gained it in your relationship with him um have you laughed in the past eight months a couple times I think a couple times I think there's maybe two times um can you tell me a funny story about him oh jeez oh my God I don't even know what funny story tell um I don't even know I don't know like I really don't know one time one time so he used I have to put him in these little like outfits for the winter because he's cold and he's tiny so he had this little teddy bear gream colored puffy thing a onesie that went over him with a hood that had two little teddy be ears on top yeah and he was a squiggler and very energetic and one time actually on two occasions when I went to pick him up from the ground I went down to pick him up and he tried to squiggle out of my arms and he ended up flipping himself over hanging upside down while I'm holding him by the bottom of his little onesie sweater and then I just flipped him right back up and we went upstairs and we went part our business and and and that was it he was just such a precarious um little boy he I always described him as uh having the temperament of a six-year-old little boy forever just being naughty but you know not super super naughty um yeah I mean it's hard even to access some of the good memories and the funny memories there's so many of them but it's hard because for eight months and this is my big thing you know initially my question was about how could my family not support me in this time but I have I have answers to that in my head yeah and I think I understand it too based on what you've told me I understand I mean it doesn't they can't they don't process it doesn't make it easier but like you know it is what it is it is what it is I can't change how other people process grief and I can't make other people understand how much pain I'm going through because this is my life this is my pain they could never understand and I couldn't understand theirs you know I think my greater question is just about more about like just trying to gain a little bit of Enlightenment and Clarity from the depths of pain that a person could feel for an animal not even a person but for an animal yeah you keep saying that you know you're very like apologetic about it and you know like you you you a couple of times you said this might sound crazy and and and here's the thing it's like like you do have deep emotional connections with animals like there's nothing to apologize for it's a skill that you have um it's a skill that you use to bring Comfort to these creatures of God you derive fulfillment from it and enjoyment from it I I don't think you need to apologize for this every time that you bring it up and to say that the loss of this this this companion is not significant or even the way you started the call with me and I'm just it's just occurring to me you know when I picked up the phone you were like yeah I wrote the email two weeks ago but I'm over it it's not so significant but it is significant it is significant I and I want to give you a permission not that you need my permission but if you if you're waiting for someone to give you permission I'll be the one to give it to you to recognize that this relationship was significant in your life and I understand like you're not one of these people and now I'm going to get hate mail from people who they going to be triggered by me saying this but you you do understand the difference between a human being and an animal like you're not you you do understand this is human this is an animal but that's irrelevant to this discussion because as far as your experience you had very significant life lessons um you you had you had experiences you had insights like you got your laugh from from this dog so like that's a that's a significant thing he was my whole heart he was my whole heart he was all of my joy so it doesn't matter if this is a human or an animal the point is what he gave you was extremely significant and and I want to encourage you to honor that and don't apologize for it maybe maybe you can help me out with I mean maybe this is a an ingrained belief that I have because you know maybe it's I'm all I'm also kind of making this assumption about my family is that they they think it's just that dog and that's why they're not coming in to help I don't think that's failing in all but I don't think that's it I think you already told me what your therapist told you which is not that they're dismissing because it's just a dog if they were super super lovey about everything else and then when it came to the dog suddenly nobody's home but that's not what it is it's not what it is that and by the way just to evoke a little bit of compassion for them you know how you have trouble forming deep relationships with other human beings you might kind of get it from them you know I don't even you're saying you're wondering maybe you're neurod Divergent maybe one of your parents or both of your parents are also neurod Divergent and maybe you all have a hard time forming deep connections with human beings human beings are difficult you know uh so yeah yeah so that that is what it is but your relationship with this with this companion with this dog was a huge part of your life and you don't have to you don't have to minimize that um I have spent a lot of time talking to um I think I'll use the word God okay and in these last eight months and I have asked him many times um perhaps what I can do better or maybe what led me to this point where I have had eight months of My Life falling apart and nobody helping me and you know the conclusion one of the conclusions that I've come to is just that I have to be strong I have to keep going even if it's by myself yeah um yeah you do have to be strong I think someday go ahead go ahead but I think someday I just I'm I'm worried about someday 30 years from now when I'm older looking back and still hating my whole family because they didn't give me one shred of dignity respect or honor during this time yeah and I don't know how to I forgiveness is definitely something that I'm struggling with here tell because I wholeheartedly believe they dropped the ball yeah they didn't drop the ball they never to drop the ball you have to be holding the ball you you already established for me they're not the type of people who are good with feelings so it's not about the dog don't take it personally it has nothing to do with the dog I mean this is a terrible thing to say but like you could have like been married and lost a spouse and I wonder if they would have been any more helpful if you would have like you know lost human probably not because I've been through I mean I've been through things like I've been through you know cancer and they weren't there I've been through AB Rel goodness this you left out of your story so you had cancer and they didn't know how to deal with that they just okay I don't know yeah call us when you're better um and now you're wondering why why with the dog maybe they have a certain thing against the dog they don't have a thing against the dog they they're just not people know how to connect but I think it's against but I wonder if they have a thing against me is what I'm wondering they're punishing me cely for everything I've done wrong to them nah I think they just don't know how to connect for being I I think I think you're right on that I think I'm trying to accept the way that it is and the way that they are and I'm trying to find a way to find some light because I even if I accept that they can't help me right now they can't um I'm still deep in a hole yes and I'm trying to find the little light that I can look up to and start moving towards yes so I I think I know what it is I I think I know what it is and I think you told it to me and I'm going to tell it back to you that picture that you wish you had of you and Goose you know a picture could have been taken before he got sick you know a picture of you taking a walk or sitting in your favorite place outside or whatever it wouldn't even matter just to have something and you don't have that picture which is which is remarkable if you think about the fact that you know you were with him for 12 years and you just you don't have that picture um but you understand the meaning of that picture you understand the value of that picture like like nobody else can understand it and I think that that can drive you on a mission to get other people that picture of them and their dogs or or or other animals sounds like you you have a good way with all types of God's creatures so any type of animal I I think that this this is something that you should start doing it especially you have a god-given talent for photography and you have a god-given talent for dealing with animals and you have this experience that makes you uniquely insightful about the relationship between people and animals and you also told me that you have a unique ability to go to the Dark Places you know if somebody is if somebody knows that the they have a pet whose end is near I think you would be a uniquely compassionate person to be able to enter that type of a very very touchy situation and not only give them a picture that they could keep for their memories but to be so sensitive and and and careful about how you how you speak to them in that in that in that place of impending grief and I think you should really do that are you comfortable sharing where you're geographically located in this world um I'm in New York state New York State okay you don't have to give your address or anything but you're in New York state okay yeah and are you willing to travel a little bit like you know drive an hour or something for a job um yes yes okay so I I think that people who have uh any interest in getting a picture with them and their their pets should contact UM your name is Kate right um yes it's Kate with a c c AIT T C AIT T yeah okay maybe you set up an Instagram account or something but people should contact me and I I can I do I have permission I could forward information to you if people are interested in such a service um that is that is fine with me and I'm I I've thought about this idea and I I'm offering I mean I would offer this for no cost like to I want to do something to help and okay how about this it's not something I would charge people for well I think in the end you should charge for it but I I'll I'll advise you about that at a later time maybe to get started you'll do it for free and you'll get some nice pictures to put on Instagram eventually though know you when when when you do something that has value you have to charge for it now you can turn around and give that money away if you want but you have to charge for it because it's it's a form of self-respect at any rate um true yeah I I I really want you to do this I really want you to do this and um you know it would also be really really good I think yeah what yeah if when you visit people and you have uh you know this experience with them for the for the photo session and I bet you could do this I bet you know how to do how to do this if you could get people to laugh oh yeah I'm excellent at getting candids I'm very good at that so you're saying get people smiling and laughing in the yeah because that's something that goose taught you or he gave you he gave you your laugh so if you could be with people when their Pet's time is drawing to a close and you could get them in a mo mode where they're laughing with that with that animal and you can capture that that would be an amazing gift it would be like the gift that he gave you you're giving to others true well I I appreciate that and you know as something I've been thinking about for a few months now I think that that's a very significant nudge for me to take action on it um I I think one thing the main thing that I've kind of taken away from the last eight months of my life is just for whatever reason at the end of the day regardless of what's happened or not happened I I know for some reason inside me now that I must give a gift to the world but I'm not saying that in a self in a way like I have a gift I'm saying I know now that my role in this meat suit on this planet is to help yeah and I want to help and so the career discussion continues to come up when I discuss the dog with therapists Etc and the three things that I've gotten the feedback I continue to get are I should think about three areas the pet photography yeah um some sort of pet death Doula or death Doula in general and then some Avenue of licensed clinical social worker that could assist people with bement I like the photography because it brings in that other Talent puts your multiple talents into one place also I you're a very sensitive person I don't think I want you being there when pets pass away but you know to be there when they know that the time may may be coming to a close that's you know I think you could handle that but I don't I don't think I want you being around when it P actually passes away I think you're too sensitive for that I mean I completely agree with you so I think there's an opportunity for like there's a very small space that I could fit into where I could give a gift to people that they normally wouldn't receive left and right yeah so I mean and I'm surprised but not surprised in a way that this has come down to a conversation about kind of like career or purpose in a way because it just keeps coming up yeah but I think that this is the nudge that I needed to say go back to your roots being you were a photographer since you were a child it was your first love go back to that bring bring everything with you that goose taught you yes goose is gonna be there at every single photo shoot spirit so so okay well I think that I have to I'm G to carve a couple hours out tomorrow to put some um some things on paper for myself so that I can take action because I think I just need to go with this I almost am kind of feeling at this point like yeah it was the worst thing that happened to you worse than cancer worse than anything you've been through to lose this dog after 12 years but you have two choices you give up or you move on and I have to choose to or not move on but keep moving and I just have to sometimes I feel I got to pick up my head and just be like listen you lost an amazing you lost your heart and that's that's the way of things and now is your time to pick your heart up and give your heart to the world give your heart to another dog give your heart to another family that's grieving there you know the impending loss is like so I appreciate this conversation because you know as you can tell I struggle with this like kind of societal thing that we have where people don't I don't think in the United States people necessarily understand or respect pet grief like they respect the loss of a human so I I just really appreciate this conversation so much I really I really do I appreciate you having the trust in me to talk about this and I I really hope that like you said tomorrow you're going to carve out some time to put some stuff on paper and I hope it goes even further than going to paper paper I hope that uh we hear some good stuff from you about your uh your mission and how you going to bring Comfort to others can I can I send if I set up an Instagram or something like that can I just send you my Instagram ABS that email Absolut say like I did this absolutely and I'll share it I'll share it God gave me uh close to a half a million followers on Instagram and what do I have it for other than to help people with so if you set up an Instagram send it to me and I'll post it all right and I I just want to take a moment too to thank all the people that are that are listening because you know at this is the biggest thing in my life that I've been through um and like you said I I don't give it credit I think sometimes and so I appreciate the people that just took the time to hang out and listen and I appreciate you all so much it's an amazing ual Community we have here yeah yeah yeah okay amazing I want to hear good news from you all right well send me that Instagram okay thank you again and yes you'll be hearing from me okay with a c c AI T yay yes sir all right have a good evening and thank you again okay be well thank you okay yo we have more callers yes yes we have one more caller we are going to welcome ANZ to the call-in show now welcome hello all right hello how are you thank God I'm doing well how are you doing you know what I am just fantastic I really want to tell you how important you are to me okay I am not a Jewish person I've you know I don't you it's for me it is you know you you don't have any other rabbis no no no you're my first okay awesome you are my first all right you know what I just appreciate you I appreciate your way of being your patience your calming I I look at your post and I look at your stuff on YouTube and it's just amazing but I really wanted to I I originally the the original issue I was calling you about yeah let me tell you yeah you I watched a video where it it was about letting God's blessings flow yeah you had a conversation with a lady named Jodie I remember that I'm telling you when I listened to that it was as if Jodie was speaking for me wow all of her concern are my concern just remind everybody if they didn't if they didn't hear it because not everybody listens to every episode but I remember this jod called in she said she feels like she's Unworthy of God's blessings and her feeling of being Unworthy of God's blessings is cutting off the flow of blessings and she doesn't know what to do about it and we spoke about that just to catch everyone else up okay go ahead yes well the end you know you enlightened us to the fact that God's blessings have nothing to do with our worthiness or unworthiness yeah that's what I it is about the it's about the mission it is not about me that's right it's about the mission yeah and so I it it's almost like it freed me to it emboldened me to to go ahead and to I I to give you a little bit of background I'm an Autism mom my son is 29 years old I also have a daughter who is 17 and has autism so I've been I've been at this for a really long time um my son was diagnosed um back in the 90s when the Rainman movie came out I remember they had just kind of started up autism research and that kind of thing my son was getting ready to go to school when one of the first autism opened in the country in Columbus Ohio fortunately I was you know living in Ohio Ohio state did a lot of research in that kind of thing with autism so anyway fast forward to today I was a special education teacher uh dealing with children with emotional disabilities Okay I uh um taught in a unit where uh you know kids these are the kids who have hit the teachers they have Hur other their children and it's like you know these are my people I'm drawn to these kids you know so I anyway started teaching with school district short long story short I walked away from my job I quit my job two weeks ago two weeks ago because I how long were you at this job yes now how long were you there I now I've been a teacher I've been a teacher for 23 years I've been in a classroom for 23 years I taught in Ohio uh for 19 well for 18 of those years okay in Ohio it was just like the best thing ever never thought I would be anything else then five years ago you moved somewhere Texas okay yeah yeah Texas is different okay and so I found myself being a square peg trying to fit into a round hole you know I believe in um educating the whole child I mean you you have to address their immediate needs before you can do anything else if a child is hungry you can't teach them math first you have to Fe them very good yeah and so so I I was part of a system that did not that that thought differently in Texas and so I just yes in Texas they didn't really I just no longer feel you didn't feel that you had the support of the school system that they understood what the children needed and they were just sort of saying well just do your job but hold on a second there's more to the job than just the job and they weren't really getting there yes yeah yeah and then and then you left two weeks ago that's right so yeah I just left what I am what you're listening to the conversation between you and jod really helps me do yeah I am actually going to launch a community uh on zoom and it's going to be for parents of children with autism great from everywhere great and twice a week we will meet from 9 to midnight you know I I kind of think about Delila the the radio show Delila where you know she plays music and people come on it's just a really Feelgood kind of space but I want is it as good as the Thursday night Callin show that we do I'm joking with you no why it's not gonna be that's why it won't be on Thursday it won't be on Thursday very good but you're on Central time you could do it at 9 Central and I'll start at 9 Eastern okay okay that works okay that works do do you have do you have any of this set up yet by the way like do you have any contact info that you could give out so people can find this community yes this is give a plug plug away plug away please Instagram I am on Instagram at inspiring okay so send me a direct message in Instagram and I will post your account in my story usually about 20,000 people see my stories thank God so send me your Instagram handle in a direct message I'll post it in a story and hopefully it'll get awareness out there well you know what because that's that's that's the thing I have all of this experience I have my professional experience yes I have my you're doing the right thing the school was limiting you you're way bigger than any school system the world needs you you were being held back you you you were a big fish in a little Pond you need to just go swim in the ocean now yes yes yes well you know what listening to that conversation with you and Jodie I'm telling you it was like it helped me make a Quantum Leap great and I I have I have fought with you know the inner sabator that says oh you're too old and oh you're running out of time and you know it brings a lot of anxiety oh you're not going to have a steady p check oh you know you're going to do a lot better on your own something is tell financially I'm just saying even from something is just telling me just go from the from the most simple Financial Lev you're going to be much better off be much better off and then you're going be way more fulfilled because not you're not going to have a boss to answer to no one's going to tell you what to do just your own conscience and uh yeah you're going to be very happy and successful yes and my and my conscience just tells me to let those parents know that I have been there I see them and I can't help yeah just to bring Comfort to nurture them to strengthen them Y and then to do it twice a week and you know somehow maybe I'll do a service where maybe they can have access but I would love for people to be able to call me in the middle of the night because I remember it was such a lonely time for me night time was really hard because it was like every everything from the day would come crashing in and I still had work to do I still had to do my schoolwork you know so it's just like but somehow I made it somehow I raised three children I got a master's degree in special education during that time you know I used to drive 58 miles one way to work wow in Ohio yes yes and in the winter time you know but somehow during that time I raised this this lovely boy who speaking of my lovely boy I would love for my son to make contact with your last Carla Pate the one who lost her dog yeah uh C yes C AI t k yes I would love for him to make contact with her because I would love for him to do a painting of her and Goose oh together your your your son is an artist her the visual he's an artist oh yes so maybe she could send him the P remember she said she had a picture but he's like already in the hospital and it's not a happy picture yeah maybe your son could take the image and put it in a happy setting oh yes yes that's it and and really kind of imag he because my son has autism and that's just one of his things he he is a great he's a digital artist but man he is he's amazing he's on patreon and he's done some really amazing thing I mean I'm I'm floored as his mother you know because I'm telling you if I could raise a child like him and help him to see his autism as a superpower and as a gif then I mean gosh anybody can do it I'm telling you I'm the most flighty person I think I'm a I'm like half fairy and half unicorn you know I I'm like funloving I I love you know I'm like the adult that wears cat ears to the grocery store I just you know it's just like it's just the part of who I am and if somebody like me can find it and can raise can raise such a good human being being two good human beings my children are so I I I'm telling you I'm so blessed and they taught me so much they have literally raised me as a mother they have raised me and so if I can do that anybody can do that but I would love to put him into contact for you know in contact with her because yes I made the info I I just think he yes I will we'll do that we'll put this all together that's amazing amazing yes and you'll send me the Instagram I will do that and I'm gonna share it yes I will DM you on Instagram and you know what I really want to tell you I I pray for you every day I pray for strength and courage and wisdom for you and I I like look forward to like you know when you post things you you're just amazing you're amazing and it doesn't matter it it transcends religion it transcends anything that stands between us you're you're an amazing amazing amazing leader so thank you so much a thought leader thank you I appreciate it and uh yeah send me that info because it'll be my honor to to share it and continue the the chain of of helping and enriching each other and supporting each other yes yes and and my space is called actually the blue cocoon okay and the reason why I well blue obviously is for autism but cocoon a cocoon is such a wonderful place it's a place of rest but it's also a place of great transformation and I want a space where people feel safe unwinding and letting people see some of the ugly parts of of being a an Autism parent because it's not it ain't just all cool you know I just want to give people a place to go where they can they can be amongst amongst the people who understand the journey that's tremendous that's tremendous it sounds like your your mission is very clear and it's taking all of your life experience as a mother and as a teacher and just putting all all together and sharing it with others and I love it yes okay yes okay okay well thank you so much for this my pleasure and my hon for your time thank you to your listeners for listening to this crazy lady I appreciate it and um you know what keep doing what you're doing and we will be in touch absolutely yes send me that info thank you thank you so much absolutely okay all right you we have any more callers on the line waiting tonight that's thank you for all the callers okay so now we're officially finished right right we're officially finished we have the main segment has now concluded and we have the unofficial a bonus section unofficial bonus section unofficial bonus section okay by the way I'm hearing feedback when you talk I hear myself bouncing back are you on speaker or something yes I'm not going to be talking anymore no Just for future when you do come on you shouldn't use speaker because it bounces back like you should use okay I run the I produc the producer uses a laptop so I have the phone call on the laptop so the phone is over a laptop okay so I'm gonna have to get you a pair of headphones that you can plug into your laptop okay okay what kind of a jack does your uh laptop take like e inch a MacBook Air MacBook Air you know what I'm so such an old fudy Dy you probably can get Bluetooth headphones okay at any rate I'm gonna send you I'm gonna send you some headphones then and can't hear um we'll get three headphones okay okay all right singing time Mo'Nique writes is a singing time yeah let's sing a song um porm is coming so uh the porm story is written in the Milla Milla is the scroll Mill Esther The Scroll of Esther and it begins in the days of who uh he is the same who ruled from hu to Kos which is uh according to many commentaries from India to Ethiopia 127 provinces in his Empire so here's a little [Music] song for [Music] okay you get the idea ah ah yeah anyways that's a song about porm and then a month after PM is PES you know what PES is p is so we're going to sing about means going out of Egypt the exodos the exodos yeah [Music] um I'm a little bit low I'm a little out of my range that's probably [Music] better yeah okay any requests anyone have any requests singing stories jokes questions complaints hold on a second here yeah uh what does that mean Mendy Herz texted me I like the high the high what the high what the high part that's what you mean by the high I [Music] part you know that it's from the shall n not not getting it it's not in my range shall [Music] El [Music] de say no [Music] now who would be foolish enough to send me a WhatsApp voice note while I'm alive on YouTube and he knows I'm Live on YouTube and he writes the text play it okay if there are any swear words in here this guy is not my friend I don't know who he is let's see okay okay let's see so you can [Music] do so you don't have to go higher okay thank you myy Herz it's my voice coach he's actually not my voice coach my voice um inspiration I want to be like meny when I grow up we got to do a thing meny since you're listening um ha um songs PES songs and then like the post stuff you know theas and stuff and the we had to do a whole episode just on PES songs it'll be a hit be a huge hit okay anything else what Mike it's Mike okay anything else I'm looking in the chat oh a story okay you want to hear a story got to think of a story um okay what kind of a story do you want to hear like a story like like that happened to me or like a classic story oh I want to be like Mike sometimes I dream that he is me can't you see that's how I wish to be or something like that I never understood that cuz why would you dream that he is me that's ridiculous you don't want Michael Jordan to be you because then he wouldn't be able to play basketball anymore or at least not on the level that Michael Jordan plays it should be you are dreaming to be him I dream that he is me pun it always annoyed me always oh Knife Fight okay Mendy Herz requested a story called The Knife Fight I think I've told this story I think I even told it uh in a in a lecture which is on YouTube called the stories of my father or something like that my father passed away a few months ago and so on his schim on the 30-day Memorial I give a lecture about stories that my father told me or stories that happened with my father so manyy Herz wants to hear the KNE fight story so the story is like this my father was on the boat going to Korea this is right after the Korean War but they were still sending Americans to Korea I guess they still it probably but this is they were sending a lot of Americans still to uh you know he was in the Army so he was on a army boat going to Korea and um you know what Korean war was like you know that show MASH so that that was the Korean War okay so my father's on the boat going over to uh Korea and there was a guy doing knife tricks and he was doing like thing where you take a knife you go in between the fingers right and he's showing off and he's doing knife tricks and my father comes over to the guy and he's like hey you nice knife tricks do you know how to knife fight I don't know why he asked him that and the guy he stops he looks my father he says you're lucky I don't do to you what the man did to me who I asked how did knife fight my father gets kind of kind of nervous sounded very ominous he lucky I don't do to you the thing the guy did to me like so my father says what did the guy do to you who you asked to Knife Fight he says I I saw a guy just like you saw me you know doing knife tricks and I came over to him and I said do you know how to knife fight and uh the guy goes takes his knife and he says he just sliced it right across his forehead he said just the guy I guess had such skill and control that he was able to slash this other guy's forehead just like paper cut thin like just enough like to scrape not even to draw significant blood like he had that level of control like that right across like right above his eyes so but I'm slowing down the story the guy so the guy says like this you're lucky I don't do to you the thing the guy did to me who I asked how did I fight what did the guy do to you who you asked how and I fight I came over him I said you know how did I fight and he goes slits me across the forehead and he says lesson number One never ask a man how to Knife Fight never ask a man how to Knife Fight there you go there you go all right we'd like to extend a special thank you to mendal Simon and 9 by9 tech for powering this call-in show and making it possible for us to connect with our amazing audience 9 by9 Tech a onstop offers a One-Stop service for all your communication needs along with personalized Tech Solutions catered specifically towards your business visit 9 by9 tech.com today that's 9x9 tech.com thank you mendle and the team for your incredible support and if you would like your product placement on the Thursday night Soul wordss call and show let us know about it send it over here I'll tell you how much we'll charge you for it okay um if you want to be on the oh thank you to all the callers again I'm repeatedly Blown Away by the quality of the calls like the the depth the honesty the vulnerability like it's just so amazingly cool so thank you to all the callers if you would like to be a caller on a future show email your question to info@ soulwords dorg that's info souls. org and we want to thank also our amazing listeners you hear how inz was mentioning how she draws support from the listeners so um yeah it's not just the callers but I guess it's the callers and the listeners and sometimes listeners become callers and that's when you say longtime listener first time caller you know that right that's the thing they call talk shows long time listen to first time call I guess maybe that's like sports talk shows you guys know what I'm talking about okay have a happy shabas um shabas Z is it shabas zahar I think it is shabas zahar and uh see you next oh my goodness you know what next week Thursday night is the um the mcgilla reading we're not going to have a call and next Thursday night yeah just realized that okay thank you so much to everybody God bless you all