☎️ Thu Jan 30 | 9 PM ET | Rabbi Shais Taub LIVE call-in show

all right we are live once again for our Thursday night call-in show which is called the Thursday night call-in show and at the Thursday night call-in show what we tend to do is we get together on a Thursday night and we have people call in for our show hence the name the Thursday night call-in show so um as it stands standard I do a little bit of uh I don't know uh vamping you know just kind of riffing uh at the beginning um I'm going to pour my drink I got the uh Sprite Zero that's going to be the basic drink the base of my drink tonight going to make a okay goody gumdrops um yeah and I just grabbed stuff that was in the fridge so I don't know you by the way is there a y is there a um a Google doc usually there's a Google doc that we look at the production team oh there it is it's in the chat okay so um you said I don't know is this yours this Tropicana apple juice cuz cuz um I saw it in the fridge and I'm taking it and I'm mixing it with the Sprite Zero cuz uh I'm thinking maybe it'll be a good mix okay to life and to blessing show stats months running three shows eight is this the eighth show or we've done eight shows callers how many callers do you think we've had since our first I think our first calling show was Hal suus was the intermediate days of sukot um so how many callers do you think we've had in that time because I know the number looking at it right here 26 which also is Bam matria shame Hava the tetragramaton the ineffable name 26 we've had 26 callers and they've all been wonderful callers and they've all enriched our lives and we thank all of our callers for their vulnerability and their honesty and their courage and their fearlessness and their openness and willingness um so someone's writing in the chat LOL I am drinking milk well milk is just that's a fine drink do you know that the Jews were responsible for popularizing Seltzer in America did you know that yeah I know a lot of uh sentences that start with did you know that the Jews were responsible for go into into some dark places you know especially nowadays when uh anti-Semitism has become all the rage it's become real uh trendy nowadays so uh yeah but it's true that the Jews were responsible for the popularity of Seltzer especially in areas that had large Jewish populations like New York City Seltzer became very popular and the question is why why the Jews so into celt you know there's a Milton Burl joke I didn't see uncle mty say this but a guy once told me that when he was a kid him and his family went up to the Catskills and they went to the borch Belt uh comedy theaters and they saw Milton Burl do a standup act and he says the one line that he remembers is Milton Burl gets up and he says there's a Jew crawling through a desert and he's saying s s you know instead of water water okay so why did the Jews popularize Seltzer so I'll tell you why uh Bas that's Hebrew for meat and milk it's a Prohibition we're not allowed to eat meat and milk together well most Americans what's a good old American supper if you have some meat for supper and you drink some milk as your beverage but the Jews couldn't have milk with their meat supper so they were looking for another tasty beverage and they decided Seltzer that's that's that'll wash down our supper real nice and so the the because Jews couldn't mix milk and meat they ended up uh getting into Seltzer as their meal time beverage and then it just became super popular a lot of people don't realize that but those are the origins of the popularity of Seltzer how you like that thank you for the donation Canadian $5 which is worth how much I remember times when Canadian was worth a125 us I remember times when when Canadian was worth 75 cents us what's the exchange rate just now CA means Canadian right ca5 I was waiting all week for this live thank you for all your teachings thank you very much Moonlight Monique are you in Canada or you just like using Canadian currency maybe you're not even in Canada you just like using Canadian currency cuz it it's easier to donate cuz it doesn't feel as real you know cuz it's pretty colorful it feels like play money you ever go to like other countries and the money feels like play money and you're just spending way too much of it that's that's happened to me yeah feels like payday I didn't say Monopoly CU that that money isn't multicolored I think each of the bills has one monochrome um I'm just trying to think about Monopoly that that that gold Golden Rod uh what is that are those the 500s that blazing bright vivid Golden Rod that you can taste go break out your old Monopoly set and go take a look at those $500 bills that that that that the saturation of that color will induce synesthesia even in a colorblind man or woman as it were I'm in Canada in Ontario well you're certainly not in Toronto because that's like somebody I'm from Chicago that's like somebody saying I'm in Illinois well if you say you're in Illinois you're not in Chicago if you say you're on in Ontario you're not in Toronto or you'd say I'm in Toronto where are you are you in London London Ontario because I want to tell you something you may be shocked to find this out but my Bobby Al shalam uh was born in London Ontario yes it's true that's where her family lived when they came over from the Ukraine they couldn't get into America they lived in uh London Ontario okay um this is the ninth show we already had eight shows oh and the the conversion rate $5 Canadian is worth $347 us and uh Mishi is telling me that she's a paid subscriber who's a paid subscriber Mishi who's a paid subscriber moonlight moonlight is a paid subscriber are you from London isn't that so cool so my bubby my grandmother was from London or at least when she was a little girl and she says she remembers the little Jewish neighborhood in London Ontario this is back I mean she was born I think in 1910 so this is like before World War I and she remembers the Jewish neighborhood on purm delivering shalak monus delivering porn baskets to their neighbors in London Ontario Isn't that cool yeah anyways thank you Moonlight Monique for being a subscriber and donating and for being from London Ontario V okay um jfyi I just wanted to make an announcement I'm working on a new project it's about to launch it's a about to launch many of you know about my parenting course my six week online parenting course Soul parenting which over 2,000 mothers and fathers have taken and right now we're actually in the middle of one group actually two groups because I have men and women separately so I have a group of men and a group of women I think just uh yeah last night we finished Lesson Four out of six so I got cool news for you which is that right after I I finish the um hold on a second what are the dates just trying to get the dates yeah anyways I yeah that's disappointing want to pull up the dates I'm doing this course not my regular parenting course I mean I am doing my regular parenting course but um I'm doing a new course a new parenting course called how enjoy parenting your complex kid which is about parenting neurod Divergent children and I would never have the guts to do this myself but I teamed up with an expert Dr Alysa Bass from Erol and she is a psychologist and an expert in this field so we got together and we came up with a six- week cont concept of a six-week course um for parents of complex kids neuro divergent kids of different kinds so that is launching right I'm just trying to pull up the dates and um yeah having trouble pulling up the dates but it's in a couple weeks um tyel can you look in the time tree let me know tyel can you look in time tree and let me know when the parenting complex kids course starting and when when does the registration go live and all that all that stuff uhhuh okay anyways sorry for all the delay slowness I wish I were a little bit more on top of things over here I'm doing this alone I'm not not really alone I have my production team which is basically my kids and their spouses but I'm physically I'm I'm here alone um yeah oh thank you tyel she pulled it up February 11th through March 18th yeah it's Tuesdays yeah it's Tuesdays and it's at 1:30 by the way 1:30 p.m. um so some people are going to like that some people are going to hate it uh that's what it is it's 1:30 p.m. enjoying your complex child Tuesdays February 11th through March 18th um it's not ready to launch just yet so there's no landing page to register but if you're interested in a sixe course with me and Dr Alysa bass who is an incredible psychologist talking about parenting neurod divergent kids from a spiritual perspective a psychological perspective practical perspective um let me know that you're interested in that send me an email at Rabbi souls. org again Rabbi souls. org and I will send you the landing page where to register for that course okay cool I guess that's what I got for now um Ty's typing something should uh should we go to the first caller what's Ty was saying announcing Soul Survivor um I could it's not really ready we have this thing called Soul Survivor it's a it's a paid subscription that we're doing um for people who want to go a little bit deeper people want to do a little bit more focused work with me it's called Soul Survivor um I don't know tyo you want to have myi put the link in the in the chat put you could put the landing page in the chat and then I'll read off what it says there um yeah it's called Soul Survivor it's a monthly video conference uh along with some weekly posts and basically what it is it's Soul Survivor not Soul Survivor like the only Survivor s so e but like Soul s so how to help your soul to survive the embodiment experience is basically for sensitive people weirdos and oddballs like me who are just trying to do our best at this embodiment thing and how to find ground and how to stabilize ourselves and find our Serenity and our Center and to make uh good use of this time here as embodied souls okay so yeah I just announced Soul Survivor and uh yeah did someone post the the link for the landing page anyone post the link for the landing page someone's writing in the chat I'm a weirdo yeah so am I um listen if YouTube showed you my content you're a weirdo I promise you that because um you're you're a weirdo in some way and you may be like masking and like you're so so masked that you even think you're a normie but if the algorithm if the YouTube algorithm has shown you my content then that is your diagnosis you are a diagnosed weirdo which is a not an insult the normies made weirdo an insult weirdo is not an insult it's the greatest compliment it's the greatest compliment and this is a safe space for weirdos right okay um could somebody oh souls. orgs Soul Survivors it's posted in YouTube chat okay soulwords dorg Souls survivors I don't see it in the YouTube chat who wrote it in the weirdos unite yeah who I don't see Soul Survivors uh in the in the in the chat I don't see it in the chat where is it put it again because I don't see it I'm looking in the chat I don't see it I don't see it I don't see it I'll put it myself I'm putting it myself because I don't see it now I see it because I put it soulwords dogou survivors there it is there it is okay uh um yeah should we get to the uh should we get to the calls we have calls I mean it is the call-in show callers are muted by the way yeah I know I muted it CU it was I didn't like the noise it was triggering my sensory issues cuz I'm a weirdo all right you just unmuted it okay we're gonna go to our first caller hold on one second do this properly hi is that Rachel hi hi hi all right you are hii how are you bashem I'm well how are you I'm good I'm good thank you for taking my call I'm very nervous okay don't be nervous because you just speak on a live show on YouTube that strangers are listening to and will be recorded and list to by More Strangers so it's no big deal what's up okay um a little bit complex I think but okay um so here is my here's my scenario and then I have two questions okay you'll indulge me okay um okay so I was in in a long-term relationship with my partner for many years uh we co-p parented his two children young children his children not yours uh marriage correct okay so I was their stepar parent for a number of years um I told him when we met that I wanted you know my own children as as well and as we became more and more you know of a couple um you know I brought it up and in the early years he was a little bit you know unsure and then I pushed and I said well continue and subsequently uh we aligned and we were trying we went to coup's counselor counseling what have you anyways uh I'm in my 40s and so we were not successful and you were you were never actually you were never formally married is that what I'm I'm yes correct that's that's important correct we were not married um it took him a minute to get a divorce but nonetheless yes we were not married um and uh about 18 he had been married and that's that's when that's how he has the two children from that marriage and you yes you weren't married you were you were never married correct uhhuh okay okay fine you were together married you've never I don't have children and you don't have children he has the two children you were co-parenting and being a stepmother like sounds like it sounds like to me you know there's different types of stepmothers but it sounds like you are like kind of stepping up no pun intended to like almost a full parental role is that I'm I'm I'm asking yes I was very involved in their lives they're wonderful children I love them very much and vice versa um you cut out 23 you cut out for one second so yeah no it's okay just go back just repeat what you said in the summer of 2023 yeah um I I'm in my 40s and so I let him know hey like it's not working uh you know and I'm going to go it's means my biological clock is ticking yeah fertility clinic okay got it okay cuz he he says he says I've got two kids already I don't need to have more kids and you're like but I want to have kids and he's like yeah but that's not so urgent and you're like yeah it is urgent yeah PR good what long story made short okay I mean is this accurate am I understanding yes yes okay fine so you you said I'm doing fertility stuff and he's like he's like pretending it's not happening because he doesn't want to be involved in it and you're like but I'm really doing this i' have I have an appointment you can come with you know and he's like uh and then finally it happened he's like oh you did it and you're like I told you a 100 times I'm doing it I went ahead I'm just you're being you're being silent when I'm making stuff up I need to know whether I'm right or not so if I'm making stuff so it was correct okay no I just when I'm doing my cold reading I just need you're wrong you'll correct me if I'm wrong okay fine so so far everything I said was pretty accurate thank you all right yes yes I was very I mean I'm now I can laugh but I was tremendously hurt and crushed and I certainly thought that he would come around we were still living together as a family I the kids are bonded to you exactly yes very I'm bonded to them by Versa I went ahead I did IVF on my own I was Bev very blessed with the daughter by the way I hope this is not I hope this is not inappropriate or insensitive but can I just stop you for one second yes okay it's not biologically possible for you to do IVF on your own yes that's correct I did it without him let's put it that way okay I did it in the absence of him as the father right and from your perspective you gave him ample warning that that's what was happening oh he injected me okay like he was doing the IVF and yes he had a front row seat crying tantrums and all that nonsense yeah okay well hold on a second he was helping you with your he was helping you with your treatments but he was also crying about it yes and probably hoping that it wouldn't succeed and I was hoping that I would and I did and you did succeed it was I sure did okay so last year I I you know by the grace of God first try you know conceived and uh when I was about three months pregnant I moved out of our house um he stayed with the children and I moved um it was a p tough tough tough year it took me a few months to you know regain myself and find joy in my pregnancy and you know re acclimate myself to I don't know some sort of single life I guess um he spiraled into a very deep depression his life fell apart and mine fell together thankfully um I didn't talk to him for a while I let the kids you know and I kept I I I didn't infringe on them but when they called I would chat with them um they don't know they're quite young and he asked for them not to know and I respected his decision as a parent and that meant that at some point I had to you know cut off communication with them and also with him um so here's where I have two questions and they're very different from each other okay so you moved out at three months pregnant how long ago was that I moved out in May of 2024 and my daughter was born in November okay so now you have a little baby a few months old yes okay and you haven't really been around your I'll call him ex significant other and the and these two children no not at all not at all okay I saw him a little bit a few times but not recently at all and now I I truthfully I had to block him okay I'll get there okay so the there was a you know when two people separate and they live together there's a financial settlement that generally takes place and he didn't want to participate in that and I had to file a seat which was awful and when that happened what what happened you bought a house together or something cuz you never you were never married so what what was the financial linking no I he bought a house we lived in there together we had a cohabitation agreement you know there was repairs and house and furnishings and all the things that you know took place and where I live we are considered common law okay meaning you were you were you were cohabiting long enough where the state law considers you to have effectively been married correct yes it was it was a number of years correct yeah okay so basically there's a financial settlement and the asset is is the house yeah okay so I didn't ask for the house anyways I asked for a small Financial disclosure if you will yeah and he didn't want to agree and then I we weren't talking and then he called me in a you know very upset and you know in the middle of the night you know spinning there was a lot of codependency on my end that I'm working on yeah um and you know when I'm pregnant and I'm telling him this is I you should call someone that's not me and said upset and spiraling and you know you're saying he's calling you in the middle of the night you're saying he's calling you in the middle of the night with a mental health crisis yes that is correct thank you for putting that into words while while okay while you had already moved out and ostensibly distanced yourself from the relationship and you said I'm carrying a child that can't really be dealing with distress and I don't know know what to tell you and then he kept doing it and then that's how you blocked him correct eventually I blocked him okay but during that time when he was at his lowest point I agreed to suspend the to pause he's like um my job is on the line and I said okay I I'll I'll pause it and then a few months later I resumed it and it started up again except it was much worse cuz he was he he was very stressed and you decided to back off from the whole financial thing correct and and just not talk to him at all um and when I resumed it a few months later um it was even worse his reaction was worse still reaction to What and to my resuming it the financial part the first time yeah your attempt to get a financial settlement correct yeah and it was worse the second time and at his lowest coin which you know caused me quite a bit of distress um I agreed to verbally said okay I would I'll just I won't pursue it yeah um and we have haven't signed anything yet and I I feel very manipulated into that decision yeah it's very unfair to me yeah the whole thing is unfair now that I have a little bit of distance and space you know my hormones have recovered it's it's you know I really like I'm I'm very content where I am of course like very very very blessed with my daughter but the whole thing is a mess that I somehow got the worst end of yeah so my question is this how can I so I have two questions how can I reconcile you know in my head that I can pursue the legal matter and not feel so codependent about his mood or his reaction which is not my responsibility yeah even though I care for him and really the second part is like it's just that you know that feeling how can someone who says that they love you spiral so much and yet you know like that's the decision that he made to you know end our family life well okay I I hear you so I'm I'm GNA be completely honest with you and if I say anything that you feels an unfair characterization you'll you'll you'll tell me that you think it's unfair or incorrect so first of all when you're saying how could someone who says they love you so much end your family life um you know I could definitely see his perspective that you were the one who ended the family life I I I I know that that doesn't feel like that to you but from I could definitely he says that as well yeah and I could see that I could definitely see that it's like look we were together for a long time everything was fine there was an understanding we're at a certain age in life where you know it was understood we're not looking to start new things it's we're established this is the family that we have we got these two kids okay so you're not the biological mom but they're bonded to you you're bonded to them this is the story you know we've got our nice little family and then you come with this you know from his perspective I'm sure it's sort of like out of the blue irrational desire I must have my own biological child and from his perspective it's like you're being hellbent that's a little bit of a uh harsh word to use but I I'm just I'm feeling his energy right now um and I'm feeling it from his perspective even though I have never it didn't come out of nowhere right no I know but I'm telling you his feeling I'm telling you his experience so right now the facts are not so important this is this is an exercise and empathy so I just want you to be open to his feeling of where did this come from now I know it didn't really come from nowhere and I know that there were many conversations and his reaction is very much mirrored by your words he because I am feeling I'm feeling his experience right now I'm feeling his experience how am I feeling it by the way am I psychic no I'm not psychic um because I'm talking to you and I guess I don't like to sound like a hippie like energy and stuff like that but if I'm hearing your story you know I'm feeling your story and he's got some of his story in your story so I'm I'm feeling it okay and I'm just telling you the feelings I'm getting um and and you know I've learned at this point you know I'm not that old but I'm kind of old I'm 50 so at this point in my life I've learned that you know to trust my gut to a certain extent that's why for instance before when I was like making stuff up and I was asking you like is that correct my gut is pretty good but it's not 100% that's why I always ask for verification so right now I'm just feeling from his experience he got totally blindsided we had something nice you know where is he also in his 40s yeah okay so we're in our 40s yes we're established okay this is the family that God gave us we have these two kids like everything's fine everything's fine and then all of a sudden I don't know where you got it from you got this Obsession you know your your maternal drive just took over and and I lost this woman that I thought I knew I thought I built a life with and then she sort of comes to me and tells me I'm doing this IVF and there's really nothing you can do about it and here I am weeping and crying as I'm helping her with her treatments basically trying to say to her why are you so out of control why are you hellbent on this why does this have to happen that's what he was feeling now I'm not telling you objectively that that's fact I'm just telling you that's how he felt and since there's always value in understanding other people's feelings I think there's always value in understanding other people's feelings that's why I'm talking about it in other words you're a little bit baffled right now I think you'll be a little bit less baffled if you could understand you know you know what I'm saying like we don't have to agree with him no I I mean I'm very empathetic to him obviously and I have a lot empathetic or codependent because there's a difference yeah yeah probably more codependent more codependent meaning to say you know but that's how I feel I feel like I gave up so much for his family you know like yeah and I those kids I love them like they're M truly so it's not a reflection on them but you know it's like he didn't hear me all those years that's how I feel that's right that's right you're right he feels he feels like what you're saying yeah he didn't hear me he hear and that's why and can I tell you something by the way just because this is so applicable to so many marriages and relationships in your particular case this is like a really high stakes issue because it's it basically comes down to bringing a child into the world so like that's like the biggest deal there could be is a is a life but there are so many examples of this in so many relationships where it could be about other things even trivial things where and I'm going to be sexist for a minute because I'm going to characterize this in a gender specific way and I do believe that there are reasons why it's gender specific where a woman will say I literally told you a thousand times and the man will say where the heck did this come from I'm blindsided you know I I've said for a long time um men don't have marriage problems until they find out that they have marriage problems so I think you're right yeah yeah um so he was blindsided now again I'm not saying objective fact uh I'm not here to I'm not like an AR I'm not here to like arbitrate like uh you know I'm just talking about experiences subjective experiences so yeah I mean he was devastated as far as he's concerned he had a nice little life and this Obsession of yours and I don't mean to denigrate it by calling an obsession but I'm sort of like connecting to his energy and saying like this Obsession of yours took over and upended everything that you ever had and now on top of it he's saying to himself and now on top of it I gotta pay you for the privilege I gotta pay you for the privilege I bought a house what be you were living rentree with I'm I I I don't okay now I just want to be care I was not living rent free were you paying I was were you paying I was you were paying how were you paying how was that how was that set up it was like split all the way meaning monthly bills you were both paying half yep okay okay yep everything everything so that the house is a is a mortgage everything home home repairs everything and the utilities what was the question the house is a morgage the house is a mortgage the home payments is is a mortgage okay fine um correct okay so you were splitting everything what you had like a joint account and you both were working uh we funneled money into one account yes but you were both working and at the end of the month you were both 5050 on all the bills got it okay so there there is some real substance to you saying that this was a 50/50 Endeavor um and if he's keeping the house which is you know it kind of makes sense because the children are with him um absolutely I wasn't debating that I would keep the house yeah um but yeah it does make sense that for however many years you were going 50/50 so you're not just asking for a payday because you live together you're saying I no there's some Equity there Equity EXA yeah there's legitimately Equity okay so you know you have a legitimate expectation for some type of compensation um just you know be realistic about the fact how much stress that puts on him because a again this is his subjective reality but from his perspective everything was nice you got obsessed with this idea of having a baby and you're the one who turned everything upside down and caused our sweet little life to just fall apart that's how he's feeling okay um and then b b it's kind of hard to come up with that kind of liquidity like yeah you've got Equity built up but you built it up over a long period of time now all of a sudden he has to come up with a lump sum to compensate for that it's like that's real pressure so from his perspective he lost his love and and he has this financial pressure to suddenly come up with this with this with this lump sum so you know I could understand why he'd be really really stressed I'm not saying that your your uh desire to be compensated isn't isn't valid I'm just saying you know yes but I carried this I also was very stressed I also had the same experience with him and reverse and you [Music] know I didn't call him with blame and manipulation and you know I like I'm not suggesting what you're saying is not correct because fine I I accept I I see it but there's a different way to behave with someone there's a different way to manage your life like there was no it was so the the nonsense that came at me you know really I know you're calling it you're calling it the nonsense that came at you I'm not trying I don't know how else to call it was okay it was awful and I sat with him on the phone and I cried with him but the fact that he did it already hard the fact that he did I was pregnant was awful I know it's awful but I want to explain something to you not to turn you into the bad guy but rather so that you could be less confused okay like I want you to be less confused about look I'm not defending the manipulation and the emotional blackmail and all that stuff that he whipped out on you what I'm saying is I would like to give you a context within which it's a little bit less baffling for you and that is just please understand that although you spoke to him about the IVF thousands of times and gave him thousands of Opp opportunities to offer an alternative right which the the the primary alternative was that was your first choice which was that he should have a child with you and and you you you you not only you offered him that opportunity you begged him for it is this all correct what I'm saying hello yes yes yes okay please you're you're nodding your head like yes yes you're but I'm sitting here wondering whether I'm correct or not so you have to say yes vociferously okay yes so although you you gave him millions of opportunities to do it differently okay from his perspective he felt that he had a gun to his head he had no choice and this is what I want you to understand that even though you told him what you were doing even though you communicated clearly the moment that you decided that you got to do what you got to do and I don't know what words clicked in your head when you made that decision do you remember making that decision of well I guess I got to do what I got to do do you remember when you came to that point I do when I told him can you tell me about that moment when you said yeah tell me about it so it was summer we were about to go to a cottage for a week and I just spent you know the whole summer making plans for the kids and taking them to birthday parties and I just honestly I wanted to expand our family for so long really it was and with and with him like you said I I really loved him I wanted to have a child with him um and I looked up fertility stuff because it wasn't working for us naturally and I saw that um where I live after the age of 45 they may not take you as a as a client and they may not let you use your own eggs and I was 43 and I it was just it was just sheer panic I said oh my God like I'm I'm GNA run out a time yeah and and I you know I remember one evening it was just us at home and I and I told at home or it was this summer Cottage and I told him just before we went to the cottage the cottage was not great for us it you know was lovely for the kids but it was hard on us it was towards the end of the summer it was like late August and I told him super gently and I hope that you'll come with me and he just he blanched you know like his the same click that went off in my head the opposite you know his shut down yeah he shut down like I could just see like the blood rushed from his body the blood rushed from his body so you were feeling panic I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go and he was feeling dread I'm frozen I can't move I can't move yes he he's a freezer yeah I'm a flight and he's a freeze that's right and I and you flew and I and I at Breakneck speed I knew and the faster you went the more Frozen he became correct yeah that is correct that is correct it was a very so I want you to understand slow bir that moment when you said I got to go I got to do it I got to move and he couldn't he physically couldn't he was paralyzed at that moment I want to be very gentle how I say this to you but you were the one who decided to leave the relationship now that doesn't mean that now you bear all of the fault and therefore you are not entitled to any type of equity in in what you invested in over the years I'm not saying it like that but what I am saying is you know you were saying at the beginning of the story like I don't get it How could somebody you know you're saying about your ex who says he loves you how could he end it like he didn't end it you ended it well how come he didn't take my hand and come along you know why I mean it's not deep it's not complicated he was frozen and the same way you couldn't stop yourself from flying he couldn't start himself out of his position of frozenness you are both in your most Primal mode when things get super stressful he's a freezer you're a flyer and you were both super stressed he was stressed because he saw the amazing uh partner in life who became a mother figure to his children just flying out the door and he was Panic stricken and you were looking at 43 years old and never had a biolog biological child of your own and you were flying and you just went two opposite ways and at that point there was really nothing that was going to be able to preserve this relationship and he probably had a legitimate Mental Health crisis because of the shock of it and the and the grief I'm not trying to guilt you I mean that doesn't mean it's now your responsib no he did he did he did right and I'm not guilting you I'm not saying to you you got to go back to him I don't even think it's salvageable I mean I know it's not salvageable you cannot have back what you had that's that's over that's done that's gone and especially now you have this baby and you've got to raise the baby in the most stressfree environment so you're going to you know you're on your own for now that's what it is it is what it is MHM but you know all I can tell you is you know like I said for there's a difference between empathy and codependency so I don't want you to be codependent but I do want you to be empathetic so I don't want you to hurt yourself out of feelings of guilt because that doesn't really benefit anybody but I do want you to have a soft heart and to understand why this whole situation is so hurtful from his perspective not just from your perspective so how do I or can I pursue the legal stuff but not have any contact with him yeah that's a question for a lawyer really no really it is but um yeah I mean you can't have contact with them it makes it personal and it makes it much more painful and it makes it much more Tangled [Music] um yeah I mean problem with lawyers is they only have one setting kill kill kill so yeah that's the problem with them like they don't know how to like like you have to find a lawyer that you tell listen I'm not trying to get this guy for everything I can get him for I'm just trying to get my Equity yeah they're they're not really yeah I know I don't know I don't know what to tell you about that they have one speed I it's not it's not mean but they're and they're working on your behalf just like his is working on his behalf right so yeah by the time you're done all the equity you know you're going to spend 50% of that equity on on lawyers fees and you're going to be stressed and you're going to miss out on taking care of your baby I don't know I might even just walk away from it I mean it's crazy but I would even think about just walking away from it just for peace of mind just for the in mind I don't know look I don't want to I don't want to give Financial advice legal advice you no no no no no no no no of course of course yeah yeah it's it's uh it's a sad story you know it's a sad story but you know you are where you are now and especially because now you have this baby you know it's pretty clear that I knew that I couldn't like I would have resentment forever if I didn't try you know to have her like I mean it was it was like a life or death situation for me for for you yeah right exactly it felt like life and death and that's why by the way you went into your Primal mode of of flight because it felt like life and death for you and I just want you to understand for the sake of compassion again that it felt like life and death for him he felt like he was dying yeah it's hard though right someone says oh you're the love of my life I can't live without you and then apparently you can't right well you know you you can live hard to digest that yeah you can live without anybody but it is it is it is devastating so he he was heartbroken he was shocked heartbroken devastated um he felt abandoned and the more abandoned he felt probably the more paralyzed he became yes I supect that yeah any it was it's a sad story but you have this baby now and that has to be your focus yeah and and your focus has to be on providing her with the most stressfree environment possible especially you're doing this as a single parent which is you know how difficult that is I mean you're not a fool you know it's extra difficult so your number one priority I don't know about anything else I really don't I can't advise you and I won't advise you on you know Financial stuff but what I will say to you is number one priority right now is creating a stress-free or low stress environment for this baby that has to be your number one priority in everything that's has to be the question you ask about everything so any other decision you make in your life right now the question is will it bring less stress and more stability into my baby's life CU that has to be the only Factor right now at least for the next 5 10 years and perhaps for the next 20 [Music] years yeah that's fair okay yeah I really appreciate that perspective I was that's not this isn't the response I was I thought I was going to get but truthfully I think it's better what was the response you thought you were going to get well I didn't I thought that you would actually say to me oh like don't it's not about him it's about you and go there because that's because I'm in therapy and that's what therapy is like right therapy is like well you know you're okay and he's okay but you need to focus on you being on but you you know to your point to your words made me see things from his perspective in a way that didn't minimize what I went through but I you know I can see things again a little bit of time has passed yeah with a little bit more clarity and some more probably empathy that and now you know without some of that codependence that was very deeply inamed in me yeah right and I felt responsible for him you know so you got and it's ironic because when you're in a relationship you want to be responsible for the other person right like it's you know maybe not in that way but like it brought me great joy to be in in a family with him yeah yeah so it was it was it was a very big loss very big loss for both of you and for the kids and for the kids yeah but there's no turning back the clock and now your priority has to be has to be your baby the baby that's it that's everything and she's wonderful so okay I'm glad that I surprised you I'm glad that uh you know it's always interesting to me when people tell me Rabbi that's not what I expected cuz in my mind it's the most logical thing in the world because that's just how I think then people tell me no that's not it's not what I'm used to hearing um but I'm glad that you were able to get some very different perspective yeah I'm a weirdo I told you that from the beginning were you on in the beginning no I like it yeah so now actually his eldest is um is near a Divergent and it was he was the most lovely child so you know about different minded individuals yeah yeah yeah yeah so now you don't have to do psychedelic well thank you Al yeah the plant medicine you were going to do you don't have to do it now are you listening to me you don't have to yeah you don't have to do it anymore because yeah the psychedelics you don't have to do it now because what it was going to do for you was allow you to leave your perspective and to experience your entire relationship ship from his perspective and then you would have been left with yeah with Clarity but we did that in our conversation and we didn't have to take any medicine yeah and and you're going to sleep on it and you're going to wake up tomorrow and actually realize that you have a whole new appreciation for his perspective yeah I hope it gives me a sense of calm well it'll give you Clarity and Clarity will give you calmness and uh you know keep your heart soft be compassionate be empathetic which is not the same as codependent which we've said a few times already meaning you don't have to be a martyr you don't you don't have to be a martyr but I mean I could talk a little bit more about that actually sometimes we conflate codependency with compassion when they're really opposites the truth is we're codependents to avoid feeling compassion codependency is is like any addiction it's really an attempt to preserve control so yeah um you know when we martyr ourselves why do we do that because we're under the illusion that that will force the other person into behaving reasonably you know it's that bid for some semblance of predictability and control and then of course when it doesn't work we're profoundly indignant you know that that there's no betrayal like the feeling of the Betrayed codependent who says I martyred myself with the expectation that it would elicit this response and you went and did what you wanted to do even though I murdered myself right and then we get to be really indignant yeah and then you know comes the self-destructive entitlement we get to punish ourselves for having martyred ourselves so what I'm saying is you you don't have to do that you don't have to make your life worse you don't have to sacrifice yourself but what you can do is try to see things from his perspective you should pray for him you should ask that God bring healing and peace to his life life um yeah have a soft heart okay thanks for talking I appreciate it yeah okay take care your baby thank you so much thank you I will shabbat shalom yeah shabbat shalom be well okay all right wow that was that was real that was real that's a real story okay life is interesting Hashem is an author and uh you can't make this stuff up that's really an amazing story okay I hope she has some Serenity some degree of peace from from our conversation all right well um we're going to go right to the next caller who's patiently waiting on the line uh my Google doc says ABC that's sounds like a madeup name ABC ABC you know what ABC is Another Bad Creation that was that New Jack Swing group those little kids remember that the playground you know what I'm talking about Aisha you guys don't know what I'm talking about come on okay I think they were affiliated with B Biv Devo Google it you'll let me know if I'm making stuff up okay all right ABC you who's up next somebody on the line somebody on oh zero in Q waiting oh there's nobody here you is there anybody here can you just come on the phone and just talk to me can you just come out of the line yeah can you hear me I hear you yeah what's up yeah there's zero on the line waiting what happen I spoke to I spoke there's people in the batting lineup but they're not but they're not in the Dugout uhuh meaning because I spoke to the first person too long and everyone ran away um no there's no one on on on the in the live call so somebody was supposed to call but haven't called in yet correct okay so um do we think they may be calling there's no way to know so maybe let me stall for a little bit and let's see if they call maybe you can send them an email and just see if they want to call still because I I could definitely do another call still I got it in me I think I got it in me so I want to talk a little bit about uh ABC about Another Bad Creation um want talk about New Jack Swing I want to talk about Teddy Riley um I think those are important things I think we need to look back at 90s R&B hip hop fusion and I think that's going to explain a lot of things for us what do you think am I talking to myself how do we call someone's writing in the in the chat how do we call well it's not so simple how you call we got a multi-tier system set up to prevent the Baba buoys you know what I mean by that we don't need people calling in and saying Baba buy Baba buy so what you do is you send an email to info@ soulwords dorg send an email to info@ soulwords dorg you say what you want to talk about then we decide that you're not going to say Baba buy and meaning that you have a genuine thing and then we send you the call-in number so the call-in number is only sent to people who first email info@ soulwords dorg someone's writing in the chat that's from God of our understanding what's from God of our understanding you have any jokes to tell they bring so much Joy to the World you want to hear some jokes you want to hear some jokes I got jokes I got jokes for you I'll tell you a joke um joke is I told a bunch of jokes recently so I'm just trying not to tell the jokes that I already told um yeah here's here's a joke this guy goes into a tailor shop this is a joke that my uh Zade ol of a show him used to tell I got this from him this guy goes into a tailor shop and uh he says I'm here to pick up my suit and so they bring him out his suit and he says I got to put it on right now cuz I'm on my way to to a wedding so he puts the suit on and he comes out of the the changing room and he starts screaming at the tailor what did you do to me you ruined me I'm on my way to a wedding right now and I put on the suit that you made for me and it's terrible the thing it doesn't fit he says the Taylor says what are you talking about it doesn't fit so the guy says well look at it the the the back is longer than the front he says oh so then you go like this you bend forward you know makes the material pick up in the back and then you know it'll be okay he says but the right arm is longer than the left arm he says so then you bend the arm so it takes up the fabric he says but the right foot is longer than the left foot so he says so you just stick out the the right foot so it takes up the fabric and then you then it's fine he says but this shoulder is baggy so say stick out your shoulder so he's like okay I I don't have time to argue with you he says look if you just hold that position your your suit will fit perfectly he says I don't have time to argue I have to go to the wedding so he's walking down the street and as he walks by two women pass by and one says to the other o ve have you ever seen such a in your life the other one says back to the other the first one yeah but his Taylor must be a genius how you like that how you like that and that's a deep joke that has profound meaning and I'm going to explain it to you I'm going to break it down I'm going to break it down for you um his tailor must be a genius you understand the suit was terribly distorted didn't fit terrible suit the tailor told the guy to contort his body to make the suit fit so he's walking down the street the first woman says oh you ever seen such a in your life the other one says yes but his tailor must be a genius so here's what I'm want to explain to you some people some people me me yeah not some people me we are in situations that are like a suit that is totally misshaping and rather than acknowledge that this suit is not going to work what do we do we contort ourselves we twist ourselves our our thinking our behaviors our our routines our daily patterns our even even our personality we twist it to fit the messed up situation so the messed up situation will look normal and then somebody watching us who doesn't understand the backstory says oh my gosh look at that and and the the other person says yeah but the Taylor must be a genius you understand the Taylor must be a genius in [Music] other in other words we are so we are so skilled we are so Adept at trying to make a messed up situation look normal that the outside Observer will think that the situation is normal and that we are messed up when really the situation is messed up we could be normal we're contorting and twisting ourselves into a pretzel and uh that has so many applications that has so many applications talk about weed smoking no I don't want to talk about weed smoking someone wrote new addition yeah new addition well it that was really so that was um the precursor of B Biv devau that b Biv devau was new addition without Bobby Brown because Bobby Brown went solo but that's very good yes you're correct uh who was that Mory star managed new addition and then they uh I think that Mor star also was New Kids on the Block so could I tell you a story could I tell you a story yeah Kindel gather around and I'll tell you a story tell you a story you want to hear what kind of story do you want me to tell you you want me to tell you a story that like a historical story that happened in an interesting time and place you want me to tell you a story that happened to me um yeah someone's writing in the chat new kids you're talking about New Kids on the blog yeah that was Mor Star right first he was uh new addition then he was new kids could people just please verify these things for me just so I know I'm not I don't want to spread misinformation then there's going to have to be like this little thing below the YouTube saying misinformation alert okay you want to hear a story I'll tell you a story what kind of story do you want tell me what kind of story you want I'll tell you a story since no one's telling you guys are not interacting with me now I realize there's like well here's the problem first of all there's like a 15-second delay on the live stream that's first of all second of all I set it up that only subscribers can uh type in the chat cuz I don't want random I want Rand typing in the chat so you have to have been a subscriber and also I set it up that you can only type like every 30 seconds or maybe every 60 seconds uh so that you can't just Spam you know that's what these teenagers do these little Tik Tock Zoomers they come on the chat and they just post emojis and all such innan nonsense okay uh um about mssiah and how all of this comes together without all of us losing our minds God forbid that's what somebody said Alisa M said makes me think of Tanya thank you for that like our Nisha not being comfortable with the kipa of the world really feels relevant to all of us neurod Divergent weirdos someone someone else says a story that happened to you okay story that happened to me I'll tell you a story that happened to me you want to hear a story that happened to me I'll tell you a story that happened to me the story that happened to me uh I was probably about 30 years old my beard was all brown not this uh salt and pepper whatever this is here I don't know what you call this um was 30 years old and here's the here's the setup it was sucus and there's going to be a lot of Jewish referen in the story and if you don't really get them I don't really have the time or desire to explain all of it so just roll with it and it was it was suus it was yam and I come home from SCH and my wife says to me we have guests coming for the meal and she says I want to serve the meal in the Suka on uh what are they called chafing dishes is that the right you your sells like a little caterer is that what it's called Sterno trays Canned Heat you know what I'm talking about he's not answering me anyway so my wife says to me um I want to serve the meal in the Suka in the uh little Sterno trays you know what I'm talking you take the half pans and you put them in the little frame little wire frame and then there's like a little um holder on the bottom and you put the the Canned Heat you know that gel that you burn some sometimes it's called Canned Heat or it's called the steros okay so my wife says I want to serve the meal on in the in the the Sterno trays I'm like okay great but I said we don't have fire now I said I'm not going to explain all the Jewish stuff here but I yum you can light fire from a pre-existing flame on chabas you can't light a fire at all on yump you could light from a pre-existing flame but we didn't have a pre-existing flame so I said I'm going to have to go back to shul which was like two blocks away and get the fire and then bring it back so I don't remember why I did it this way I think actually come to think of it the Sterno you know it's like this wire frame basically so I believe the wire from and the half pan was back and Shool yeah called chafing dishes somebody's writing it there Baker coffee maker is writing yes chafing dishes so I had to go back to shore I had to get the wire frame Contraption the half Pan and the Sterno can and light it and bring it back cuz I there were there was a flame in sh that I could light it from and bring that whole thing back to uh to the house so I'm walking down the street okay so I did it I successfully got it and I'm trying to get it home so I'm trying to bring this stuff home so I'm carrying the metal this wire frame with the half pan aluminum half pan sitting in it and in the bottom you have that Sterno can with that gel burning it was burning because that was the whole point that I needed to bring the flame from sh okay so I'm carrying it and I'm walking down the street dump dump D Dum and it's windy and the wind it's like really windy um this happened in Milwaukee Wisconsin so you guys if you if you're from the Great Lakes region like I grew up in Chicago so like if you understand the wind as it comes off of Lake Michigan it's it's it's uh like Cuts Like a Knife anyways so I'm walking down the street and the wind is just coming off the lake and this is on the east side of Milwaukee so it's right next to Lake Michigan and the wind's coming and the wind's going to blow out the the flame like I don't want to blow out the flame then I'm going to have to go back to shore I'm already halfway home I'm going to have to go back to Shore and relight it so I'm trying to Shield the flame from getting blown out but then what happens is when I change my orientation to Shield the flame from getting blown out the wind starts getting up underneath the half Pan the aluminum half pan and it's like it's like shaking it's rattling because the wind is like lifting it's the current is getting up underneath the half pan it's going to like blow it out of the wire frame so then I I flip my orientation to like hold that down so it's not going to fly away but then the wind starts blowing on the flame and it's going to blow the flame out so here I am contorting myself going you flipping back and forth trying to Shield the the wind from flipping the tray out of the wire frame and then then I have to go the the opposite way and shield the wind from blowing out the flame and I'm back and forth you know protect protect the tray protect the flame protect the tray protect the flame and I'm going back and and the wind is it's like I feel like I'm dodging Muhammad Ali punches you know and as this is happening and I'm doing a good job dipping and Diving and then all of a sudden just one nice big wind comes up and I don't know I don't think there I really don't think there's anything I could have done there was at that point there was no way to avoid it the wind got up underneath the tray and it just picked up this tray you I'm talking about this aluminum half pan that Caterers use and the wind got up underneath it and just lifted it out of this wire frame and it shot in the air 30 feet like a Chinese box kite you ever been to the beach and you see these guys with the Box kites this tray this aluminum tra just and it flies in the air 30 feet and it's hanging there it's suspended there and I'm just looking at it and it's just sailing and then the wind stops and the thing comes crashing down and it I'm standing in the intersection in the middle of the street okay and the the the aluminum half pan comes crashing down into the street and it lands right on the corner like right in the place where like the most like the exact point where that impact is going to resonate through that entire tray and ring it like a bell like a Gong and it just hits the the concrete and it [Music] goes and I was so frustrated I was so frustrated I was exhausted I was embarrassed I was frustrated I'm standing in the middle of the street and holding I'm still holding the wire tray and just the Sterno flame is still going thank God I'm just standing there like a like a schmendrick and at that moment I suddenly I I hear a noise what is this noise and I look up this this intersection I'm standing in the middle of at the next block is a t and intersection okay so the street that I'm standing in the middle of goes down and then stops and at the end of that T intersection there are two guys standing right in front I mean they're not in front of me like distance-wise distance-wise they're a whole block away from me but they're ex I'm in the middle of the intersection on one block they're standing at the end of that T intersection on the next block like literally and they're leaning on fence they're leaning on a fence they're facing me and they're slow clapping sarcastic slow cap slow clapping my debacle and they go woo oh yeah and I just I felt my whole body go hot just my whole body went hot and I'm standing there in the middle of the intersection holding this wire frame with this Burning Sterno and and this this aluminum half pan still on the ground the wind still whipping off the lake feeling this humiliation this frustration and these two guys are leaning on a fence staring straight down the street a block away slow clapping me yeah one and I was Furious I was beside myself I didn't know what to do and then at that moment at that moment I saw a guy wearing uh running gear with a paper number taped on his back jogging down the street that's perpendicular to me meaning parallel to these guys and there guys running by and then I see another guy running by and I see the two guys who are leaning against the fence and they're still clapping yeah and I realized there's a marathon and that these two guys are like part of the marathon and they're there to encourage the runners and all of a sudden I realized these guys didn't even see me this has nothing to do with me they're encouraging the marathon runners and then I I I I started to see more of them another Runner and another Runner and these guys are yeah and I stopped and I thought to myself if you would have paused the entire world just freezed the world and told me you have a year to come up with a plausible explanation of how it's possible those guys were not sarcastic slow clapping you could you come up with one and if I had a year I am telling you in a year I could not come up with a plausible explanation how those guys weren't sarcastic slow clapping like there's no other alternative explanation they're staring right at me they're facing me I just had this humiliating experience they were there's nothing other than sarcastic slow clapping that they could possibly be doing right now and I and I realized forget a year if you would give me a a millennium if you would freeze time for a thousand years and let me Ponder and contemplate for a thousand years and try to come up with a plausible explanation that they weren't slow clapping me they weren't mocking me it had nothing to do with me I in a thousand years I couldn't come up with an explanation and yet I only had to wait a few seconds and God showed me that in fact there slow clapping had absolutely nothing to do with me and in all probability they were not even aware that I was there they didn't even see me what's the point of the story boys and girls I think you all understand I don't want to belabor the point but what I will tell you is this we need to be humble and we need to know that even when our brain is in capable of imagining a scenario where we are not in fact experiencing indignity where we are not in fact being humiliated and victimized even when our brain cannot fathom any other alternative reality just stop a second and realize maybe our brains just can't do that but it doesn't mean that there's not a perfectly good explanation of what's going going on that has nothing to do with you so don't take it so personally don't assume that it's about you even when you're so sure that it has to be about it there there's no other explanation than that it is about me well no and even if you can't figure out what it is it's quite possible probable indeed that this had nothing to do with you that's the story that's the story what do I think of Iron Mike Tyson I'm 50 years old what do you think I think of Iron Mike Tyson um when I was probably 12 I think is when he went pro what is was he 18 or 19 when he went pro so uh you know and I had a Nintendo played Mike Tyson punch out what do you think I think of Iron Mike Tyson so I guess you're not asking me about him as a as an athlete you're probably asking now that he became like a uh a sage yeah I liked when he had William Shatner on that was pretty cool William Shatner I think he's in his 90s he is in his 90s Kenan H to longa gun yordan and uh William Shatner came on and it was beautiful he just interviewed Mike instead of it's Mike's show he was supposed to interview Captain Kirk but Captain Kirk flipped it on him and he just he he interviewed Mike and it was really really good it it's good stuff highly recommend it um yeah okay Y what was that noise that I heard where in the middle of my story I heard this thing say one that mean like caller one one more caller join the line is that what it means I'm going to take a peek at the Google Doc I'm not sure what that noise was but I didn't hear it and it doesn't mean anything you didn't hear it I heard it yeah okay so you saw what else what else do people want um we have a special thank you a special thank you from whom special special thank you yeah okay I would like to personally take a moment to thank mendle Simon from the 9 by9 Tech Team and it's is this is not a script I actually I actually wanted to say a big big thank you to mle because he's incredibly incredibly helpful he's always there and he literally makes this this this call and show the calls and the connectivity possible so I just wanted to say a big thank you to M sond the 9 my9 Tech Team and if uh anyone here listening um needs like a a phone service a One-Stop service for any communication needs for your small business or whatever it is go to 9 by9 tech.com and mle will be there and he will be awesome he'll be amazing and helpful how do they how do they get in touch with 9 by9 they can go to their website 9 by9 tech.com 9C okay correct cool youell did you know the chafing dish story I did not but T says she was there with you and it happened yeah it's possible because that story would have happened when tyel was four or five years old so it is possible that she was with me when it happened tyo is my oldest tyel is uh 23 Canan and uh she runs the soul wordss backend everything all the logistics when you send your customer service emails to us and you say your website is down and then you find out your computer is unplugged you know tyo is the one who responds to those emails and uh she makes makes sure that everything's running smoothly and all the platforms are just running seamlessly and she does this all while being a mommy of two babies so thank you tyel and thank you Mishi who is Tel's husband and my beloved son-in-law who is helping me right now to build the soul word's house which God willing will be ready very soon and of course you everyone knows because I speak to him all the time um on because he's the one who runs the the phone line and then y's partner is Mal that's uh my daughter-in-law Mal's quiet I wonder if Maly would come on and say hello do you think that's possible you think Maly would come out and say hello hello hey amazing okay I don't want to put any more pressure on you that was perfect you want to say anything more or you're you're good um I don't know if the the number is live but Mony was going to say something about the phone number are we are we say are we announcing a live phone number no this is it's a secret no it's a secret phone number secet secret phone okay yeah it's only for nothing because we don't need prank calls I I'm no stranger to prank calls and I don't want to be a recipient of prank calls so I don't want to release the number yeah is that Maly by the way on the recorded message when you call that number yeah that's what she was going to say she was to say if you want to hear her voice you can go to the okay so I want to tell you honestly I really really was thinking was that like some Professional Service or was that you and I was try I was like I think it's you but I couldn't 100% decide it's very profession monkey is a professional because of schlam office no she's just a professional she's natural just inherently a professional yeah yeah it's really you should do voice over work well the truth is Mali is a singer Mali uh recorded a single um anim which was very popular how many downloads on Spotify like a million downloads on Spotify close to that that's our goal yeah that's our goal mem yeah okay we have any uh caller or nobody else called in I think it's yeah there's no more callers yeah okay fine so you know we could be done I can do a song I know a lot of people wait for the song so uh I don't want to let you down you dos me I heard the one again what was that I'm not sure I'm not hearing it it's probably your system I don't [Music] know [Music] me she [Music] running out of breath she now there's the fate and foul the second [Music] stanza it's a low part [Music] that's the anim M what's your stance on drugs in general you know caffeine is a drug I'm drinking sugar-free Snapple peach Snapple right now I'm doing drugs sugar-free Peach flavored Snapple has caffeine caffeine is a drug you know that caffeine is more addictive than heroin I don't know if that's true it's just something people say what's my stance on drugs in general I really don't care about drugs I have my opinion on drugs is you should go Google it's the same opinion that Peter Hitchens had when he was on Alex o'conor's podcast and if you know that reference you're cracking up right now Alex OK Conor Cosmic skeptic had Peter Hitchens not Christopher Hitchens all of a Shalom but Peter Hitchens on his podcast and he kept asking him question about drugs and Peter hits got so mad if you want to see a meltdown a hilarious meltdown please go Google Peter Hitchens on Alex o coner uh drugs yeah what about shrooms and IAS in particular as a healing modality I told the previous caller were you with me when the previous call I told her she doesn't have to do her shrooms now I was serious what do I think about it I don't know it's it's like Advil if you don't need Advil don't take Advil if you need Advil take Advil it's anybody who's going to tell you it's the greatest thing and everyone has to do it is nuts anyone's going to tell you nobody should ever do it probably also nuts okay it's just a thing it's not the end all be all in either direction at any rate what do you need the shrooms for you call into the call-in show and we get empathetic and we connect deeply and we figure everything out we get clarity get clarity Peach Snapple is the nectar of Life yeah okay I was feeling great comfort and support with AA until I saw documentar about AA being a cult help me understand I don't [Applause] know what do you want to know what should I tell you um every group can have subgroups that act cultish so I guess what I would say is hang around the normal people hang around people who are not cultish I'm sure you can find a meeting you know find find find a meeting like a big book study meeting where it's like people not just talking about their problems talking about their cat you know people who are actually like studying big book some Old-Timers you know with like 10 20 30 years of sobriety and uh I think you'll be okay generally go to the 700 a.m. meetings not the 10 p.m. meetings you go to the you know like the 10 p.m. meetings you're going to find a lot of weirdness you got to go to the 7: a.m. meetings with like the hedge fund guys who don't have time to mess around you know the real successful guys the rich guys who are like 20 years sober and they go to the 7: a.m. meetings yeah you won't find find any cultish stuff there that's that's you're going to find some serious people people there okay yeah what else someone's asking AA what does he mean you know the airline that crashed in DC AA American Airlines that's what he's talking no I'm joking he's talking about um Alcoholics Anonymous would you ever debate an atheist no I would never debate an atheist and I'll tell you why because debate is about rational I mean if it's a good debate unless it's a dirty debate but a real debate is about rational argument and the reality is that you can't I mean maybe I shouldn't say this but I don't feel that you can conclusively finish the whole God discussion strictly with rational argument now some people who worship rational argument as the end all Beall Arbiter of reality would say ah and therein is the greatest proof of atheism and what I would say is well not to me because I don't feel that rational argument is the only tool for knowing reality I think it's a tool but I don't think it's the only tool okay so no I would not debate an atheist I feel like it would make the atheist more entrenched in their beliefs and just convince themselves more and I would be convincing myself more so what would be the point I would hang out with an atheist I do hang out with atheists I would you know joke around and have a discussion with an atheist but not with any goal of convincing each other I don't want to convince anybody of anything I'm not into polemic I don't want to convince anybody anything yeah what else I'm just reading the chats and I'm responding to the chats yeah am [Applause] [Music] what advice would you give to a wife to help her husband not be so insecure [Applause] you know my wife left me for being too insecure oh no she just went [Music] [Applause] shopping I don't know is he insecure because of you or is he is that his his issue it's like he's just he's insecure so if he just insecure cuz he's insecure there's nothing for you to do about it don't be codependent but um if you think maybe you're making him insecure so I want to tell you something tell your husband that you appreciate him thank him look him in the eye take him by the hand and say my dear sweet husband you work so hard you make so many sacrifices thank you so much for everything you do I feel feel so protected I feel so cared for I feel so cherished I promise you that will have a profound effect on him um alcohol is the worst drug I'm addicted to caffeine and weed so what are you saying you're you're addicted to the drugs that are not the worst drug because alcohol is the worst drug and you put you're addicted caffeine and weed which are not the worst drug okay we love your singing yeah we had all thing whole thing about that I'm sure everyone knows we had a guy who criticized my singing and then I yelled at him for criticizing my singing and then he donated $5,000 so please more people criticize criticize my singing yeah um yeah what is what are my thoughts on Islam okay you trying to be controversial okay I don't know I mean I can tell you what my monity says that uh a Jew can pray in a mosque because they're true monotheists Muslims are true monotheists what should I tell you Muslims are true monotheists um yeah that's what I have to say about it uh Rabbi talk more about raising children and being a great father would you say it is more difficult to raise children in modern times than before I don't know I never raised children in any other time so I can't compare or contrast but if you you want to know more about parenting I have tons on parenting I'm not even trying to sell you my parenting course uh cuz it already started four weeks ago but like just go on my YouTube and you know search parenting on the soul Words YouTube channel there's tons of stuff there about parenting uh rabbi's being funny tonight okay I mean I always I always try to be funny What What In particularly what in particular was funny why did you find funny cuz I'm not sure how am I funny to you like a clown to you what did you find to be funny what should I do if I'm in shim and I want to have very high standards in my future home and I'm looking for very high standards in a girl but I myself am not holding there listen chicken 1885 it's time to grow up you are 100% right that you want high standards because that is the foundation you're building your life on you want to build your life on Rock Solid foundation so yeah you want a girl with high standards so you're not holding there so hold there what what's the problem what's the problem what just do it when will the soul house be ready by the I don't know what it's going to be called I know what you're referring to the soul house talking about the house that we bought uh half a block from the aisle I don't know I thought we did we did we started renovation now not renovation uh um demolition uh the day before shivas B that was sometime in July and then I thought we would be done by now I really thought it' be D and now the contract is telling us sometime in March which is like a whole month from now at least they did the spray foam insulation today I was there today I don't know if I breathed toxic fumes all the dudes who were putting in the spray foam were all wearing like hazmat suits and like one of those you know like I don't know what you call it but they look like the basically the guys who abducted ET you know what I'm talking about that's what they looked like and um you know you know what I'm talking about when they found ET gray in the ditch it's most traumatizing image of my childhood so um yeah the guys putting in the spray foam are all wearing hazmat suits like the doctors who were uh going to experiment on ET and I'm walking around taking pictures from Mishi and I'm I'm realizing like why am I suddenly having like Vivid childhood memories of building model airplanes then I realized that I was huffing yeah you know what I'm saying remember the airplane glue model airplane glue it's a Lenny Bruce routine model airplane glue you got to Google my references I'm like the dentist Miller of uhic uh podcasts at any rate so we put in the spray foam today controversial no there are Jews speak what what is why is do the comment start with the words controversial question mark who's it who's the nausey of Our Generation Well the nosy of our generation is according to the LA is his father-in-law is the nosy of Our Generation that is the official answer of Moses's incredible life story what is one aspect that stands out most to you from it King cookus am I saying it right that whole weird era in Misha's life you said Moses but I'm going to say Misha Misha's life and I don't mean my son-in-law Mishi Misha zalig my beloved son-in-law mha zalig but I mean mha raenu the coolest era in his life in my humble opinion is when he was the king of kush you know what kush is Kush is an African Kingdom South of Egypt it's like Sudan or Ethiopia and there was a whole story that he was um he went there and oh yeah what were there what were they called Yannis and yamas the sons of belum belum Russia belum the sorcerer he had these two sons jannis and yamus and the stor and the snakes you guys know the story about the STS and the snakes and the king cookus that's that's to me the coolest thing okay yeah um [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Music] that was cracked there M yeah I'm cracking hi let go go down and act I think I found my voice [Music] now I feel like I'm lower than I should be but for some reason that's where it feels [Music] right too low I can't find the right uh octave there don't know what to do let's try one more time let's try one more time then I'm going to look at the chat and answer questions [Music] hi [Applause] I'm just going for it gonna break stuck The Landing okay that's called getting over our inhibitions boys and girls that's right listen for me to speak I speak all the time I'm a professional speaker that doesn't take guts for me to speak I know how to speak I'm like chat GPT even when I have nothing to say I know how to string words together in an intelligible way it's smooth flows got a nice Rhythm yeah um so speaking is not like getting out of my box singing is getting out of my box because I know I'm not a good singer I'm not a bad singer we've established that don't call me a bad singer but I'm a very let's call it Medi ER at best singer like you know in the bell curve like a little bit you know not in the top like the top means like most average and then there's like the worst worst and then there's like the best best I don't know like Bel Cur like you know like there like that's you know like C+ student yeah like a C+ B minus uh student so that's getting out of my box when I sing publicly yeah Rabbi would you ever shave your beard no no oh my goodness no I would never do that God forbid um clown I was speaking about earlier when you were making joke it was a reference I I'm sorry if I made you feel bad when I said am I a clown to you it's a reference Google it you could Google it am I a clown to you how am I funny to you am I a clown to you was a reference okay uh um kabad Perth wa Australia I got think what is what wa West is Perth in the west I gotta imagine it's hard for me yeah it is it is Perth is path however they say it it's Western Australia because it's hard to think about Australia in terms of east and west but yeah like Melbourne is in the in the East like Victoria is in the East and then Perth is like I guess it's on the Indian Ocean right that's why all the people from Perth go to South Africa isn't that true everyone from Perth no to the contrary I'm sorry all the South Africans go to Perth that's right they leave South Africa and they go to Perth that's right um I've never been to Perth I've been to uh Sydney and I've been to Melbourne what's your three favorite psychology books I would have to have read three psychology books to have three favorite ones uh let me think if I read three psychology books and you're saying I thought you read thousands of psychology no I probably read I'm think trying to think maybe I read four or five in my life um well one of them is games people play which I spoke about recently in a talk about my father all sholom because he gave me that book when I was a teenager so games people play by Eric burn um maybe games alcoholics play by Claude Steiner who was the student of Eric burn it's just same similar type of thing game transactional analysis um maybe I don't know this is pretty trit this sounds like every uh every freshman in college says this but uh man search for meaning Victor Frankle man search for meaning um do you know that Freud wrote a book about Jewish jokes which is like so unfunny but yeah that's not one of my three favorite psychology books and I didn't read it I I perused it um he's got a joke in there literally there's a joke Freud wrote a book about Jewish humor so um one of the jokes there I'll I'll show you how bad the the jokes are so a guy says to the Shad um you told me that the the that the bride's father was no longer living I just found out he's yelling at the shot yelling at the Matchmaker the the the the the groom's father is yelling at the Matchmaker you told me that the bride's father was no longer living I just found out that he's sitting in prison to which the shadin says no this you call living I I'm literally that's one of the jokes I forget what it's called but again Google it Google is your friend yeah okay Rabbi do you have any pets I have some pet peeves but I don't own any pets I have some plants um I have I I I I'm an animal lover and I take care of stray cats and I have videos about it on my YouTube channel at the soul word's house half a block from the oil there is a colony of stray cats so there are two cats in particular who I won the trust of it took a year took a year for them to trust me and now I'm able to get them to eat literally out of my hand I can pet them I can scratch them um and they'll come over and rub up against me it took an entire year like at first they would't even come anywhere near me even if I had food I'd have to leave the food and then walk away be at least 50 feet away before they would even go near the food okay um what's the name of the meaning of the name schneer terms ofne the Al's name was schneer schne are two lights and it uh it means the light of nigla the revealed legalistic aspects of Tyra and the light of nister the concealed esoteric mystical aspects of Tyra and indeed the Ala was the author of the T which is mysticism and a version of sh the code of Jewish law which is the legal aspect of the title um what's the importance of the beard anyway I like it I'm just wondering like why do old why do old rabbis have beards well there's a Mitzvah not to destroy the beard it's a Biblical commandment now there are different interpretations like most things in Judaism there are different interpretations what means not to destroy the beard so some claim that they have a way of removing the beard without destroying it um whatever I'm not here to debate that I'm not here to put it down there are plenty of God-fearing Jews who have rabinal opinions to rely on when they say that that's definitely not the opinion that I follow theed who was the third of kabad who was the grandson of the Alba um and he was also Not only was he a a Mystic he was a pisc he was a legal codifier and he uh holds that you cannot uh you really you can't even trim the beard so that's uh why this is why my beard looks exactly as it is this is just as God made it I sometimes I look at guys should I talk about this this is not the type of thing that I should talk about in public this is like I don't know I'm just going to say it sometimes I look at these rabbis who have like a long beard but it's trimmed and I think to myself why that length cuz like you look at my beard and you ask like why that length well what do you mean I didn't there's there was no choice involved this is just the length that's that's like seeing me walk down the street why why are you that height by the way does everyone know how tall I am I am my height is the most misconstrued I think most misconstrued height everyone always misjudges my height do you know how How tall I am every time people meet me in real life they say you're so much taller than I thought you were you're so tall and then I said how tall do you think I am I don't know 65 can I tell you something I'm 51 and a half if I bump my head I'll be six feet okay if I have a bump on my head I'll be six feet if I'm I'm 511 and a half that's how it's all I am but imagine me walking down the street and you say to me why are you 511 A2 why' you choose to be that height I didn't choose to be that height that's just what how God made me the same thing with my beard why is it that shape why is it that length I don't know this is just what happens when you don't touch it so but then I look at sometimes people like the Beard's long but it's like a certain length I'm like why that length why did you choose that like these are the things I think about these are the things I think about could you tell us a good story about the of course of course of course it's always good to tell a story about the rebba so much to learn from the rebba really any story is well the Balta said you can learn from everything but especially from the life of a tadic somebody who is so plugged in to Hashem and is acting as a conduit as a transparent vehicle for godliness so really anything about the de's life is a way of learning how to ser hasm so a good story about the de so many stories um yeah yeah so uh good story about the rebba is that a guy wanted uh not alaver some guy from burrow Park wanted a br from the Reb and uh he asked for an audience and I don't know what they told him I don't know if they still had Yus at that point or not but maybe they told him y this would be a personal audience with de would be like half a year out or maybe they told him that he couldn't have it at all he could submit something to uh to the Secretariat and they would bring it into the debba anyways but he didn't want that he felt like he had an urgent issue so some laiter tipped him off and said listen don't say you heard it from me cuz I don't want this coming back to me but um if you wait outside of the Deb's house at such and such time you can walk up to the debba and you can ask him for so that's what the guy did and he went over to the Deb as the Deb was coming out of his house on President's Street and it ended up turning into like a whole long conversation and they were talking for like five minutes and uh then after the re left the BAM who were watching from like half a block away they ran over to this guy and they started screaming at him and said you did a terrible thing how selfish can you be do you know how busy the deba is do you know how precious his time is he doesn't even sleep you know how how how could you stand there and force the debba to stand for five minutes talking about what your your your personal problems the debba has the weight of the world on his shoulders how could you do that and in fact you think you're getting a blessing it's going to be the opposite you're going to be punished for this because you've done something really bad you've messed up the divine order by taking the Deb his time and they really made the guy feel awful so he ran to 770 and he wrote an apology letter and he gave it into the Secretariat and basically it was profusely apologizing for wasting the dev's time so I'm not sure how quickly the response came but it came fairly fairly quickly uh that deba wrote back a response and the response said I believe the word words the effect of um who knows if the entire purpose of my soul's descent into this world uh laer Yi was to help this Jew meaning to help you uh are the you know Yesa students to mix into this uh president and what were they doing on President Street at the time of uh Yeshiva classes being in session um it's it's it's absolutely mindboggling laab I mean think about the accomplishments that we know about forget about what we we don't know about what we couldn't even know about because it's just so spiritual and otherworldly that we couldn't even fathom it but even just what we know that EBA came to this world and accomplished that ebba's accomplishments in Torah scholarship that accomplishments in in organizing in in in in meeting with people counseling people advising um publishing um sending out schlim like just the things we know about right like you cannot think of somebody with a more Global impact with a more massive reach than the rebba and the rebba writes to this guy who's profusely apologizing for basically talking about his personal problems with the debba and the debba says to him no don't apologize who knows if maybe the whole purpose of my soul coming to the world was was to help you meaning that I was saying it could be that the whole reason I came to this world was to help you so you're apologizing no don't apologize this could be the entire purpose why my soul came to the world and that that's for me such a an important idea to cling to that you know nobody accomplished more in a lifetime than that ebba and yet he was and he didn't write this as like a way of being nice he he everything that EBA said was completely 100% sincere he literally meant it he meant it in all sincerity like it is possible that my entire purpose of my soul being in this world was for those five minutes to help you so then think like by comparison when we when we question sometimes the usefulness of helping someone or doing a particular Mitzvah and you know we think we have more important things to do and uh we we don't know that who knows like that I said mea who knows maybe my entire purpose was was this thing this thing that seems small but it wasn't small at all it was my soul's purpose in this world yeah how does or should a g know that they're called to return to their Eternal Jewish Family well I mean that's why perspective converts are turned away so much because really it has to be an irrational thing it has to be the person says you know what I have no good reason for this I have every good reason not to do this and I just can't get it out of my head this is what I've got to do so you know when you have every good reason not to become Jewish and yet you just can't shake that feeling that you have to become Jewish then eventually you have to give into it if it just doesn't go away way yeah I'll tell you a cute story a friend of mine told me about this guy he knew in Yeshiva who converted he was an older guy who used to hang around the Yeshiva and study there and my friend was a Yeshiva Bak he was a younger guy so they knew this guy as he was in his conversion process he used to hang around the Yeshiva and learn with the with the guys but he was in a conversion process he wasn't yet Jewish and then one day he came in and he had had his conversion you know he went to the the bezden and the tal and the Mikvah and so he comes into the Yesa and he says to the B says boys I want you to know that I can guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that everything this whole thing Judaism is real and I can tell you how I know that it's real he said I just converted and now I have spus and amona now I have doubts in faith it's a deep I mean he didn't say it as a joke I mean he knew it was funny but he he was also saying it truthfully meaning there's a concept that everything in Holiness has to be opposed by a counter point to make free choice possible so basically this guy is saying you know he wasn't really troubled by doubts in faith during his conversion process now he's Jewish you know he made that step and now now he's getting that attack there's that push back now all of a sudden the yatah Hut is coming to him and giving him doubts so he said now because I'm having doubts that's what makes me certain that this thing is real because I didn't have doubts yesterday I didn't have doubts before why am I having doubts now only because now there's a special push back a special resistance yeah anything else guys [Music] [Laughter] [Music] m m [Music] [Applause] [Music] m [Music] what does that mean I just heard the thing negative one what's negative one what's negative one what is saying that to me I think it's something in your system because I don't hear it and I'm on the phone system not the YouTube system you think it's coming from my uh from my roadcast from your set your setup yeah okay I kind of getting tired kind of getting tired over here anything interesting you guys want to know about what are your plans and dreams for soul wordss like in a perfect world uh well in a perfect world I wouldn't really have to do anything cuz the world would be perfect but if okay so first first of all um let's talk about if you don't have flower you don't have flower not f l o w e r but f l o Ur if you don't have flower you don't have toy if you don't have toy you don't have flower that means that you need the physical to do the spiritual and also you need the spiritual to be blessed with more material but so I would need more money um I'm running a pretty I mean it seems like just me but it's not big operation and at this point we're reaching 10 million people a month it's pretty massive we're reaching 10 million people a month and we're building a property we're not building I'm sorry I'm misrepresenting it we're not building a prop but we're renovating a property which God willing will I'm hoping will be I I I would hope that we could reach maybe a thousand people a year it's not a big facility but you know I would think maybe a th000 guests a year would be a nice goal so we're reaching 10 million people virtually a month we're about to open up a a physical space where I'm hoping we'll be able to host maybe a thousand people a month a year um and I'm spending about $500,000 a year so you know it's it's it's a pretty good rate of return to reach 10 million people a month for basically $42,000 a month I mean go find out any other organization if you know how many people they're reaching per dollar so we're doing pretty good but first thing is I would probably need a few million dollars a year and I get a proper uh staff um get some creative people to work on projects where I could be less involved in day-to-day Logistics and more just implementing my vision you know just creating more learning opportunities I think that's that's what it yeah I would be able to hire enough staff so I wouldn't be dealing with with Logistics of running an organization and you guys don't realize how much behind the scenes Logistics there are just like you me just the bank and thank you letters and bills and and now with construction so it would be nice if I had a whole staff where I could just really focus on content and also higher enough um uh video technical uh help where any Vision that I would have I would just have people either on staff or on contract who would be able to be called in and to implement any type of vision I would have for any type of content um I think the next stage this is not the ultimate stage but I think the next stage is once we have the podcast Studio open at the soul word's house to have some like real A-list um podcast guests I have to think about it also because I don't want to sell out and I don't want to compromise myself I don't want to lose lose my you know Purity but I do think that it would be a probably a good thing to have like A-list uh thought leaders influential people celebrities have them come in and speak to them about spirituality about life um I think it would just help get things out there more it would expand the reach more I think I need to write another book I I I haven't done a book since the amul letters which wasn't really an original book it was an anthology it's two volumes two anthologies of uh magazine articles or columns need to do do another book uh I can't do a book right now because I'm just busy running this organization busy fundraising busy dealing with construction um but another book uh high-profile podcast guests I don't know it would be good for me I think to go on some high-profile uh podcasts as a guest just generally trying to find logical places you know it has to be the right fit can't be like stuffing myself in where I don't fit but finding greater platforms for sharing the message what's the message I mean ultimately it's that's my whole message isus what's the message ofus I don't know that the world is perfect that we're here for a reason that Messiah is coming and that we're a special generation that we're here to perfect the world we're here to spread knowledge of God that kind of stuff yeah okay to set the bar too high to think you'd be decent anyway you should watch your rudess it's disgusting also how are your religious leader and encourage people to find what that's the sentence doesn't you would think of some religious people especially would be more connected to God have a better attitude but God has always made a example of repulsive religious people it was my mistake okay I'm not really following what going on did I do something rude it's possible by the way that's happened many times in my life where people tell me I'm being rude and I'm oblivious to it I don't know I didn't think I was doing anything rude I mean I I have been joking around here this is pretty uh free flowing pretty casual where do I think the Ark of the Covenant is I have a whole video about it that EBA spoke about it it's in the catacombs that Solomon built underneath the temple it's actually directly under the spot where it belongs it's just on a lower level yeah okay ban versus sadic it's Tanya you can watch my Tanya classes I have like hundreds of Tanya classes on the on YouTube and at soulwords dorg anything else how to keep our spirits up in these divisive times focus on doing good don't look at what other people are doing look at what you could do be productive in every moment learn Torah D mitz hasem I have another cyber bully someone is cyber bullying me why are they cyber bullying me just randomly just for the fun of it because they can okay really it's just randomly someone cyber bullying me for for fun that's unfortunate is there like uh okay listen guys we're here having fun this is like the Afterparty okay we're we're just this is very casual stuff I don't know what to tell you you know like what what what can what can I tell you this is just there's no uh no offense intended here I don't think uh there's any ill will we're just joking around maybe some of my references sound uh sound funny Cu uh they're a little bit obscure so might be misinterpreted but this is just this is very casual this is very loose and uh yeah yeah okay no you're not rude Hart you're an amazing leader in my eyes whom I admire okay don't admire me too much because it makes me nervous okay um okay yep what content creators do you follow it's a good question I don't really follow any content creat creators I I try not to consume too much content uh particularly being how addictive social media is so I actually if you look on my Instagram I follow nobody I I says following zero but um you know I try to stay aware at least of the trends of the way people are communicating cuz I think it's helpful to know the the language of the time because when we're trying to communicate to people in our time so it's helpful to understand The Language by language I don't mean necessarily like the slang what I mean is you know the the the the format um the the formula the way that people consume information nowadays okay anyes on the pares means my own novel Insight I don't think I have my own novel Insight no okay I enjoyed your podcast with r man Freedman I was just wondering if marriage isn't meant to be it almost seemed that it doesn't fit in yeah you're talking about the thing I did with with um From the Inside Out podcast with uh RI krinsky and Ida shottenstein so I was on this panel and it was about marriage and I could have kept my mouth shut should have kept my mouth shut should have been normal listen I'm 50 years old and I finally realized I spent a lot of my life reing myself in to try to be normal and I don't think it benefits anybody so I was really I was like should I say say this should I say this should I say this and in the end I was like you know what I'm just going to say it so we're on this panel about marriage and uh I said you know CU we're talking about like what to do to improve your marriage have a better marriage and I said I just want to be clear that some people no matter what they do are going to have a difficult marriage so I said I don't want those people to feel despondent I don't want them to feel like they're being left out like here we're giving marriage tips and everyone who implements it is going to have a great marriage it's not true some people it's just and and I don't know why Hashem chooses some people to have this challenge but some people have profoundly challenging marriages and they can do all of the right things and it's not going to become a great marriage but they can be successful and I and I made the point of like a person can be successful in marriage even if they don't have the picture perfect marriage because success doesn't mean what the marriage looks like success is more like how much can you as a person grow spiritually in the context of your marriage so I know that that's not really what people want to hear um but I felt like that was an important message and then um actually I tell you something galic so I'm going to actually give a plug to a book um yeah so where is the book where is the book it's by Mimi Weisner it's a book about marriage and what's the name of the book I even gave it a h so I'm technically supposed to know the name of the book um I can't find it so she wrote this book on marriage I just want to find it uh I want to say the name of the book the call dropped we're still on give me a second here I can't find it anyways Mimi Weisner wrote a book about marriage about women about modesty and from a real I don't know the the novel op perspective on femininity and modesty and marriage anyways so she actually um sent me a text after that panel that I was on and she was like thank you for um your message about you know sometimes marriage is not picture perfect and like giving validity to that type of experience and then she said a great story so there's a story I'll tell the short version but there it's a story about um this uh this guy Yesa Bak sees this other Yesa Bak who he thinks will be a great sh for his sister long story short they set it up they meet and this bakar is an incredible bakar but he has a limp he's he's lame he has a limp and um so uh the girl sees that he has the limp and she's like kind of like turned off and um so he he he senses that she's turned off and he's like listen come here come with me come to the mirror they stand in front of the mirror and they look in the mirror and the the girl the perspective prde looks in the mirror and she sees her her leg is deformed she seees she has a [Music] limp and she's like what's going on in the mirror and so the prospective groom says to her he says that limp was supposed to be yours in heaven it was assigned to you you were supposed to be born with a deformed foot he says but when I saw that as a soul in heaven I argued with them and I said said it's not nice that a girl should have a deformed foot give me I'm her other half I'm her husband give me the deformed foot and they agreed to it and they gave it to me so the perspective groom says to the prospective bride he says listen you're not bound to marry me it's okay if you don't want to marry a guy with a messed up foot it's okay you know I understand um and she agreed to marry him and he was uh this was the the tanov so anyways she didn't explain the story she didn't have to explain the story but I understood very very clearly what she meant which is that you know some people are born with physical deformities other people have emotional wounds and you know these people get married and then their spouses suffer because you know I'm married to somebody with an emotional wound who's emotionally crippled and the reality is that you know maybe your spouse's emotional deformity is really your own emotional deformity which they accepted upon themselves maybe you were the one who was supposed to have the crippled foot and their soul accepted it instead of yours so when you're married to someone and you see that they're emotionally broken in some way instead of using that as a wedge of division to say how can I be married to such a dysfunctional person instead stop and realize hold on this this is my dysfunction it happens to be taking place in this other person but this other person is not an other person they're an extension of me they're they're continuation of me because a married couple is one unit so uh chicken 1885 says he's getting scared the more I listen to people talk about marriage the more scared I get to get married what can you tell me about that what can I tell you about that I'm not I'm not going to I'm not going to I'm not going to sell you a bill of goods my friend marriage is hard some marriages are nice and sweet and fun some marriages are hellish and most marriages are somewhere in between you know like most marriages are somewhere in between so all I can tell you is this don't get married because you think it's going to be fun get married because you realize that the same way you have to put on filling every day the same way you have to keep shabas every week whether you're ready to rest or not you get married because that's God's will God sent your soul to the world to do Mitzvah and the biggest Mitzvah is to to to build a Jewish Home get married have kids so that's it and you do it you do it you just do it bud you do it yeah what else can I tell you okay it's getting late no what's your favorite Jewish food uh favorite Jewish food maybe kishka when it's done right has to be done right I I make a very good CH by the way with kishka [Music] um my par of chant is better than most meat chants jfyi with all uh humility aside okay all right I think that's about it we've been on for now what we've been on for like almost three hours it's crazy I have to find out what the book is called I don't know Mimi Weisner wrote the wrote a book I forget what it's called man let me just look one more time searching my that that's a woman that's a woman it's called that's a woman Mimi Weisner that's a woman okay that's what it's called yeah and I specifically oh somebody pulled it up can you put can you can you put it in the chat in the YouTube chat can you put the Amazon link can you put the Amazon Link in the chat yeah that's it that's it that's a woman yeah Mimi wisare that's a woman put it in the Amazon chat please yeah and by the way I specifically made a point to tell you the name of her book and her name because um I've had a discussion with her in the past about how awful it is when people who have a platform steal ideas from people from other people and pass it off as their own and uh I'm going to tell you something in Academia they call it plagiarism okay I call it sucker MC's be biting my style okay don't steal my content don't steal my content I don't forgive it don't steal my content okay so anyways Mimi Weisner is the one who told me that awesome story I could have told the story like I thought of it like I'm the genius that's called stealing content [Music] what do I think of what's a Woman by Matt Walsh I don't know it's culture War stuff not into that culture War stuff okay please share the recipes I thought about doing a cooking show I was on you know fix fix magazine so they have a podcast I think called glot so I actually recorded an episode today and then I told them that um I actually want to do a cooking demonstration cuz they have a kitchen in a video Studio or the a video studio in a kitchen so I actually told him I want to come back with meny Herz and make beef jerky meny Herz might even be listening right now at Co safe so I told them that uh told Fay shik's magazine clot podcast that I want to come back and do a beef jerkey demonstration with meny Herz Rabbi tab Fanboy says I was 0.1% of your Spotify listeners last year okay how much of my stuff do you have to listen to in order to be 0.1% like you listen every day listen to a podcast every day listen to all my stuff what' you do went through the whole Tanya you went through the whole sh oh Mendy Herz just texted just in time T tuned in as you name dropped me yeah I'm glad Mendy Herz took a break from watching Cat Williams on theovon to uh catch a little bit of the live stream so what do you say myy Herz you want to go in and uh do a beef jerky demonstration with me we can kibbit it up and do a little beef jerky bit demonstration oh I see big HT 84 let's go let's go all right let's do it shout out to Cove what question would you ask God if you were sitting at a table with God I'd say why oh why God I don't know I would I don't know what question I would ask God I don't know that's okay I don't know what I would ask God if you ask God a question you got to be prepared for the answer you might not be ready for the answer so I'm going to trust God's teaching method you know as a teacher myself I know sometimes it's like better that the student just respect the process and I'll get there all your questions that you are going to ask are going to be answered if you just listen to the end and that's what I probably think God is thinking it's like shase don't ask any questions just respect the process I'm with you I got you just keep showing up and you're gonna see it's going to make sense at least on some level it's going to make sense you're GNA you're going to figure it out anything else why do you love Mendy heart so much like what qualities does he have pure curiosity so I'm I'm not a man who is very social I don't socialize I don't really have friends I don't want to have friends um so Mendy Herz is one of the people who's as close to a friend as I have now you're going to say what do you guys do together did you take a road trip together did you go to Cancun together for spring break what did you guys what kind of bonding do you guys do and the answer is um before I was saying Cottage three times a day basically I would hang out with him in the hallway and Sh and that was it and that's all I can tolerate as far as human interaction like I don't do more than that that's my my maximum threshold so it's not like we spend a lot of time together I don't spend time with anybody I just can't do it I my my my threshold for social interaction is like and it gets less and less and less the older I get what qualities does he have I like real people I just like real authentic people that's what I like I like I I I am I think a real authentic person to the point where I offended that person who was telling me that I was rude and by the way they don't even understand what thin skin I have when some random person on the internet is writing in the chat you're rude and you make rabbis look bad it's disgusting that a religious person would speak that way and I'm thinking to myself oh my God I'm such a terrible person I'm making a and I'm trying to think what did I do that was so terrible and I honestly think it was when I said to that person how am I funny to you am I a clown to you which I thought that every single person here knows is a reference to probably one of the most iconic films of the 20th century I thought everybody knows that that's a line okay whatever I'm not here to recommend films okay this is not the movie night it's not Tish abov but probably they were offended when I said how am I funny to you am I a clown to you Google those words please Google the words how am I funny to am I a clown to you okay I promise you that's what the person was offended by okay and anybody who lives in America and is older than 20 years old knows that that's a a film reference okay come on this is like you don't even have to have seen the film it's like I could have been a contender you don't have to have seen what was that on the waterfront to know that that's a line from a film okay please it's called Cultural Literacy for crying out loud and now someone's going to think I mean really rude because I'm castigating the audience okay at any rate I like authenticity I like so Michael huitt with two T's wrote Good Fellas yes and it's you must be something of a copile you're a film buff you know the quotes from good everybody knows this quote from Goodfellas yes it's a quote from Good Fellas but that's probably what the person the cyber bully who decided that I'm rude it's probably when I said to the other person how am I funny to you am I a clown to you you know what I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they're from another country and that they don't know American film and that's why you didn't know that that was a film reference okay ah so you're an introvert what advice do you have from for extreme introverts start a podcast that person was just a hater yeah I agree like I amuse you like I amuse you I just want to understand okay um so I I Mendy Herz is just a real guy I like real guys I like just authenticity I like rawness I don't like polish I hate polish I'm allergic to polish I abhor affectation do you know what affectation is affectation is like the extra Frills that people put in their like interactions like I was just saying to somebody today I said so somebody said to me like I like your content cuz like you speak like a real person and I said I know because most rabbis when they create content they have this certain vocal register I don't know what it is but it's like a certain Cadence a certain tonality that nobody not even they use in real life and that's called affectation and I don't like it I like realness I just like realness that's what I like just be normal just be you Rough Around the Edges I think the question the comment was about the Islam question what did I say about Islam I said that you could pray in a mosque I said Muslims are true monotheists was that a Muslim being offended that I called their religion true monotheism that's offensive that's the biggest compliment that you could give a religion okay marriage is great if you have the right partner for you and you and your partner are selfless in your Devotion to each other be 100% authentic and most most importantly be honest with yourself I agree Richard Bishop why are you so fun Rabbi that's from Greg Jackson well I'm glad that you think I'm fun do you know why everyone wanted the mushroom to come to the party because he was a fun guy and I hate that joke and I'll tell you why because I'm so pedantic he was a fungi but fungi is plural so he was a fungus that's the singular fungi is plural he was a fungi that doesn't even make sense but that's the joke why did everyone want the mushroom at the party he was a fun guy yeah okay are you a morning person or a night person take a guess take a wild guess I want to tell you something you know that there's a capital not a cap a there's a verse that everyone says for their name at the end ofra you say an extra verse with the first and last letter of your name so the verse that I say three times a day four times a day on chabas and yam five times a day on Yim Kipper is sh you know what that means sh song of his praise uh all the Servants of hem who stand in the house of H at night so the verse that corresponds to my name is the verse that says that the Servants of Hashem will stand in the house of Hashem and praise at Night by [Music] [Applause] LEL at night and you know what the freaks come out at night you know about that you guys know that the freaks come out at night should I become [Music] religious you should try to do God's will as often as possible don't be religious religious is a title you don't need a title just try to do God's will at every moment and if the end result is you look like a religious person that's fine but don't become religious that's not the goal do God's will do a Mitzvah rabie toab you're the best Purple Heart yes you came up on my feed I'm an HSP highly sensitive person for sure your perspective voice and Common Sense approach is very appreciated thank you thank you Emoji that's from Bella Christina soer David change the joke to mushrooms let's try it why did everyone want the mushrooms at the party because they were a fun guy doesn't work doesn't work hey say take out the a they were fun guy the problem is the guy part is singular Fung guy is plural there's no way to make it work alter says hi Mommy oh s David okay got it M's whole family's here okay bashash okay have a whole uh family reunion over here okay um what else can I tell you you know about my Globe let me show you my Globe this Globe goes both ways and the reason why I have a globe that goes both ways is so I can put the holy land on the top the North Pole should not be on the top the Holy Land should be on the top because from any spot on the earth that you go to a Isel you're going up you're making Aliyah you're ascending what room has no walls a mushroom do you like Ticket to Ride I hate it I hate board games the last board game I liked was stro and then somebody beat me at stratigo and I don't like that anymore either are you hiring I wish I were some point God willing I will but I'm very strapped for cash right now can't really hire anyone um yeah what can I tell you what can I tell you I mean covered so much ground spoke about so many things was such a journey the caller was pretty awesome whoever was here like two hours ago that was a real that was a real story was an amazing story I uh hope everything goes well for her I hope everything goes well for all the people who call in that was our 27th caller I hope everything goes well for all the people who shared their stories with us and really is amazing all the I don't know just the richness of it how much life is being lived out there in the world you know we become wrapped up in our own lives and forget that the rest of the world also has complex lives as fascinating and mysterious as our own tro rematch no I was traumatized no I do not want a Stratego rematch I'm done with stro I've renounced it all done with stratigo people often say to me you're you're good at chess right I'm like well I started playing chess when I was three and I never really progressed past being at a three-year-old level chess like I know the names of the pieces I know how they move my problem is I have zero spatial intelligence to the extent where I have to use my GPS in my own neighborhood or I will get l lost so I cannot really it people can't imagine this like oh you're a smart guy well yeah in certain types of intelligence I'm smart in other types of intelligence like there's literally like a piece of my brain missing so I cannot imagine um spatial relationships it's impossible for me to not only can I not think one move ahead it's hard for me you're not going to believe this but it's hard for me to even think about the move that I'm making like it's almost like I'm I'm randomly moving pieces cuz I can't really follow the cause and effect of what's going to happen when I move the piece yeah I heard something about not EA eating ton before cou yeah there is such a thing yeah yeah yeah yeah certain order yeah don't eat chol before cougle you have to eat the coule and then the cholen there is such a thing yeah yeah yeah so the house near the Ole what's going to be there so first of all these are tiny houses 1,200 square ft but the basement is going to be a recording studio so I'm hoping to get like high-profile guests and uh people either people who are coming to the aisle or I'll bring them to the aisle which could be life-changing for them and then bring them to the the studio and record the podcasts so the basement is for uh recording full uh video production facility the ground floor is going to be for events so we'll make like faans we have classes you know let's say yural Nissen is coming and people don't want a Fang in their house CU they already clean for PES okay so we'll go to the s's house fa wouldn't that be nice imagine we have a faan set out at a table with some Seltzer and some Herring some uh some crackers well we have a little fangan we'll have a class once while you know M's putting uh you know Mishi my beloved son-in-law so he's putting video monitors all over the the the first floor is all just one big open area for like classes and meetings and for Brans so he's putting video monitors all around the first floor so like let's say we're learning a text let's say we're learning a mare or something so we'll put it up on the video monitors you'll be able to follow along it would be pretty cool and then upstairs is just too bad DRS and that's for people who stay at the aisle for chabas which if you've never done that you should definitely try it you should experience it what flavor should Dr Pepper try to invent next and what should they definitely not try to invent I don't know man I don't know I did the Oreo Coke Zero that was enough for me is that what you're referring to I don't know what Dr Pepper should do but I want to tell you something about Dr Pepper I want to know why Dr Pepper is a flavor okay and what I mean by that is there are hundreds of generic Dr Pepper ripoffs that are variations on the name Dr Pepper but what do they call it what flavor they always call like doctor something like I think Kirkland maybe has like a Dr k or something it's doctor flavor I ask God why me and all I received was laughter okay I don't know if you're being poetic I don't know if you're being literal I don't know if I should be concerned about you so funny you hate SL don't like people you are such a great speaker I didn't say I hate people please let me set the record straight I didn't say I hate people I said I have very little desire for socializing and I have very little bandwidth for socializing doesn't mean that I hate people God forbid it means I can't tolerate being in Social settings for too long okay I just want to clarify is Dr Pepper even a doctor I don't know it's a quack um how often do you go to the aisle well what does it mean go to the aisle like actually go into the aisle um not that often because I need to be prepared and usually I only go in on like days when I'm I'm forced to go in because I always feel unprepared so finally when it'll be like you know a l blamer let's say so like okay so you got to go in I just forc myself or yot coming up so you have to go in but I always feel unprepared so I don't go in that often but I to be near the aisle like I'm there all the time I don't know three four five times a week what else okay we'll do one more song over here [Music] m [Music] n [Music] so you say I love your tone J Graham says I love your tone so you could credit Michael huitt that's my voice coach had one lesson with him but he's my voice coach so yeah you can credit my tone you know why cuz I always sang like this but I was always like tentative about it cuz you know inhibition self-consciousness and Michael was like no no no that's that's it that's your voice he the coolest thing he told me and I'm going to and I'm going to share it with you I'm sure he'll have no problem with me sharing with you he said the most authentic voice is a baby's cry because when a baby cries there's zero inhibition think about it okay I'm not going to do right into the mic because I don't want to like break your tanic membrane but babies cry you know people people imitate babies cry like what do they say ww gooo G it's not W it's like a lamb bleeding right when babies cry but if you think about the way they the tone that they use it's basically the most uninhibited most authentic most raw most real and it cut the sound of a baby's cry cuts it will you'll hear it through walls which is you know the way God made babies so that they will be protected it's a survival mechanism it's a feature of of of survival but that absolute pure unfiltered uninhibited voice of the baby cry that so there's a little bit of that in singing you know it's like he [Music] you I don't know the words for it see I'm actually holding back because of the mic because I don't want to like go into the Red Zone but like if I back back up you know the real you know if I were to fa let's say we're at the so word's house let's say it's udol niss and Fa at the so word's house and we got like 50 guys there singing so I can sing at the top of my lungs and not worry about it because I'm like mixed into the crowd so be like [Music] hold on let me take this [Music] off see you here there's like a little bit of that baby cry like realness pess like just the the quintessential voic of it you know what I'm talking about you know what I'm talking about if the caner has a sick day does the rabbi tag team in I don't know if the Yates a Hut is so creative why can't it at least be productive and help me write a book or something oh my gosh cats imitate baby crying do your cats do that my cats used to not speak and then when they became more socialized they started speaking it so interesting they used to be mute and and now they'll cry to get my attention yeah like that if I work on B and quit my job how long before my wife kicks me get back to us and let us know one of my favorite stories is about the baby crying with the m okay here comes its time I'm get my [Music] guitar Once Upon a Time I'm going to tell it normal okay this is not my it's not my jam the story is like this okay the mitl Abba when he was married he was living in the house with his father uh the aled Abba so one time uh the Alba who the grandfather comes out with the baby and says like the baby was crying and it was the mit's the M son the baby was the ml's baby so the mitl hadn't heard the crime because he was deeply immersed in his learning so the Alba says to them it you should know that no matter how immersed you are in the holiest things one must never be in a state where one will not hear the Cry of a child that's it that's the lesson in life no matter how immersed you are in the holiest things you must never be in a state where you will not hear the Cry of a child tell the world why you revealed the cats tell the world I'll tell the world because Mendy Herz who I referred to earlier as just a real authentic guy he told me this is a perfect illustration of what I mean by Mendy Herz being a real authentic guy I said to him I said Mandy I have these cats these stray cats at the is house who I I've been like coaxing them to get closer to me and I think it's really fun but people don't like it especially like I don't know should I say this like in the in the from Community like people get weirded out by animals domestic animals so I said people are going to mock me and Mendy hurt said don't worry about them mocking you but he said it in really like salty language but which I'm not going to repeat because I'm online he said' don't worry about it and uh so yeah it was his encouragement to just be uninhibited be real be yourself be authentic don't care about the haters the S is that's the haters they hate us because they ain't us did you know that which that means the reason they hate us is because they are not us that's right what does c say about overcoming fear and anxiety yeah if you have trust in Hashem you'll never have fear and anxiety you just got to know everything is from Hashem it's all from Hashem just relax just Release Yourself surrender to it it's all good it's all good um when the bem said to find a lesson in everything does that include traffic jams and burnt choling yes it does I mean if that's what's happening to you you don't have to go find traffic jams in order to learn lessons but if the Divine Providence is that you're in a traffic jam yes then that will be what you can learn from and if there weren't anything to learn from it Hashem would not have made the traffic jam and he wouldn't have put you in it what's the biggest mistake parents make when raising children um taking things personally got to take your ego out of it I love when you tell us more about your father's wisdom that's from the new Sigman Freud I don't know if I have more stuff from my father because I I did that talk already where I told all the great stories from my father all the stories that I could tell I have more stories but I don't know I have all his crazy stories um I don't know but those are the good ones I told the good ones already trying to think about another I mean whatever those are the good ones I told the ones that are like for public consumption if B talken means trusting Hashem can I trust that my alarm clock will wake me up for shakas or do I still need to set three three alarms it's a good question good practical B question how do I get my kids to think I'm cool without actually trying I want to tell you I want to tell you something Billy Joel you know Billy Joel nice Jewish boy from Long Island so he I remember he said years ago when his daughters were teenagers he said when I'm in public with my teenage daughters and they're not listening me and I want to get them to behave I just threaten to sing and they get so mortified they'll do whatever I tell them I thought that was so interesting because probably for most people one of the coolest experiences you could probably ever have is to be seen in public standing with Billy Joel while he's singing in public unless you are Billy Joel's teenage daughters in which case it's the most embarrassing thing in the world so I tell that story because you could be cool but your kids don't think you're cool and don't worry about that it's not our job to make our kids think that we're cool there's absolutely no utility in your child thinking you're cool however can I tell you what is absolutely essential to your child's well-being your child has to think that you're safe so it does not matter if your child thinks you're cool but it's really important that your child thinks that you're safe because a child who thinks that their parent is reliable and trustworthy will grow up with self-confidence with courage and have a much better chance at a successful life so don't worry about your kids thinking you're cool worry about your kids thinking that you are safe and the way to establish yourself is safe is with the little things like being true to your word and uh you know be accepting not judgmental that kind of stuff RAB If my spouse says I don't want anything for my birthday is that a test or a trap it really depends on the person some people really mean it I don't know I don't know it really depends on the person scream it let it go I'm singing with you okay next next and we're going to really belt it out we're going to Belt it out how can someone incorporate the concept of self- nullification from CI without losing their personal identity well you know personal identity is a subjective concept because like what are you calling your personal identity you know sometimes you have a whole personality that you've constructed that you really deeply identify with and the reality is that the whole thing is just one elaborate defense mechanism so you're like this is my authentic self but it's not so what I would tell you is B will never take away your authentic self BTO May strip you of the trappings of the constructed false self because the constructed false self is something that we put in place to protect ourselves it's a survival mechanism B is when you're in a state of complete Reliance upon Hashem so you know longer seeking man-made mechanisms for ensuring your safety because you know that your safety is completely in God's hands so when you're in a state of self- nullification um you will drop a lot of the affectation a lot of the constructed false self and you may mourn the loss of it because we identify with it so deeply we we we think that it's ourselves and then when it's gone when it drops away we at first it's shocking it's even we have to go through a a grieving process but you're never going to lose your true self through b you'll only find your true self through b Release Yourself to God's will surrender to the Oneness and I promise you you won't become less of your true self you'll only become more of your true self how you like that is it a kesem or AEM to correct someone's Hebrew grammar on Twitter well you know it depends it depends how it's done depends how it's done I don't know the context sounds like that's a really specific reference to something that actually happened I don't know what happened what was the actual scenario why is self-esteem a good thing in Bala AA what is the difference I don't know who says self-esteem is a good thing self-esteem can mean a lot of things self-esteem doesn't necessarily mean a good thing you know cidus talks about self-love as being a problem self-love is the root of self-deception so there's definitely a type of self-love that is an obstacle an impediment to spiritual growth but on the other hand there's a uh there's a good type of self-love which is identifying with the godliness within yourself and letting it shine and being fearless and bold about doing your mission being true to yourself so it's all context like everything it's all context everything's context I tried working on ble but my toddler already treats me like a non-existent entity does that mean I mastered it yeah probably toddlers will help you with your ble uhhuh that was great thank you very much okay oh that's from JH who asked the question how do you incorporate the concept of self no nullification from a cus without losing the personal identity so I'm assuming you're referring to that answer okay what else do you guys want to talk about what else is on the agenda what else do we need to cover how do I develop b that my diet will work without actually dieting uh I don't know how should a Jew navigate the overwhelming amount of information and distractions in today's world my gosh it's so true it's so true there's so much listen you gotta you gotta you gotta focus on the you gotta have priorities okay it's like R will keep you Saye okay and ra probably three three chapters of M day and if you have to do and RAM every day and that's like that is a inviolable rule in your life then uh yeah if you keep good on those commitments it'll sort of by default prevent you from wasting too much time at least it'll minimize or it'll decrease the amount of time that you waste psychologist once told me is simplest way while GAA is about good things don't in the past while self-esteem is about knowing we can do it selfworth and able I'm reading that wrong literal I could only laugh too was overcome with ecstasis during self-inquiry meditation that's cool how do I develop kutah without sacrificing compassion and kindness you often speak about addiction how does one balance the idea of radical self acceptance acknowledging one's struggle without shame while still holding themselves accountable to grow and change are you a grandfather like me I'm a grandfather like me not like you cuz we're all unique yeah I'm a grandfather even though I'm young I'm only but I got married when I was 25 and my daughter was born when I was I I think 26 and then she got married when she was 21 she's got two babies so yeah do the math my father calls kitas his anchor it's what keeps us grounded and centered before going out into the world oh I wish I finished kitas before I went out into the world that's the best way to live if you doas and Raam before you go out into the world go to Davin with a minion hus and rambam and then you go out that's the best Bo El and why not Le El yeah that's a famous thing Shem is saying I'm already there like come I'm here I'm here meet me meet me over here this explains it even deeper based on the Z that par is the ultimate ego ultimate Clipper completely self-absorbed and uh Hashem tells Misha meet me here within the ego of pharaoh because Hashem says the reality is that the absolute kutah the the the narcissism of pharaoh actually is a Mis appropriation of God's absolute existence so when you actually delve deep into Pharaoh's narcissism what you actually end up finding is the absolute existence of God and that all of the the the posturing that the the clippa that the forces of negativity that the they're presenting themselves as autonomous and separate and independent where do they get that from where they actually get that from ironically enough that that itself they get from God that itself they get from God in fact it's the most direct expression of godliness atheism is the greatest proof of godliness that any being could feel autonomously existent that itself comes straight from God because in truth he is the only being that really is autonomously existent how you do at 7:30 Mendy are you going to be there M's been busy he was under the weather his wife was under the weather you're going to be at the 7:30 shakas I want to thank kab the five towns 7:30 minion it's been an anchor in my life since uh my father passed away I been saying kades ding three times a day from the uh from the omed the from the from the lecturn and uh yeah that 7:30 shakas at K the five towns on Maple has been an absolute godsend so anyone who wants to DAV in shakas with me tomorrow yes I invite you 7:30 a.m. at K the five towns we will D shakas it's so late started wonder if I should say kishma for tomorrow morning how can someone break free from the cycle of people pleasing without feeling guilty thanks for answering my questions you're an amazing person Jas that's so sweet of you can you or have you made a video on free choice um I don't think so I don't know I don't remember how you nearly missed your flight is that an actual thing how you nearly missed your flight how you how you nearly missed your flight is that a story is that one of my stories that I tell okay guys we've been going on a long time over here going on a long time okay we're going we're gonna do one more again okay are you GNA belt it out with me ah let me get the voice [Music] by the way this nigun is in H I think it's called three four time like a waltz [Music] y [Music] [Applause] you go back to the beginning okay we're going to say good night