"They TALK during davening!" | Letter #2 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

bar we're back for day number two letter number two of 30 letters in 30 days if you didn't watch last night letter number one I uh told a story and at the end of telling the story I said you know every time my friend Ley shamov told that story he says another teacher who was about to quit doesn't quit and maybe that will happen here on 30 letters in 30 days well sure enough this morning as uh I left sh this morning I see a voice note uh from a guy I know and uh I played the voice note and he told me that literally just last night what happened was It was supposed to be his wife's last day teaching on uh on Monday and then what happened is they asked her to come in for one more day so yesterday was not her last day today was supposed to be her last day but then last night she went to the aisle and and after she came back from the oil that and she went to the o to say she's basically she's leaving teaching um they came back home and they were packing shalak Manus and he says oh I want to put on something to listen to while we're packing shalak monus so oh he saw actually he said that he saw in my son hi y you saw in my son y's uh WhatsApp status that we had the 30 letters Shear going on so he played the shear and they're packing shus and they're listening to the the the the shear and we're talking about a teacher facing burnout and uh that EB's guidance how that teacher can definitely return to teaching and be successful and it's just that she got hit by a bunch of stuff all at once and uh she's got AR rest but she'll she'll she'll deal with it and I without revealing too many details but yes this was very very simp not not just the fact that this uh teacher was ready to quit but that she got hit with a bunch of stuff all at once that were tiring her uh physically just like the letter was speaking about uh yesterday and then here's the real I mean the the young man who sh shared this story with me told me he doesn't even feel like necessarily he should share this part of the story I'm going to share it with you anyway but the weirdest thing is three days ago he had a dream of the re and in that dream don't ask me why he saw re Z who who's the in the story if you remember again if you don't know what I'm talking about because you didn't listen to last night's year go back and listen to last night's year but you just you can't make that stuff up they're just too wild anyways an amazing Miracle story literally a miracle story in our time and when I say in our time I mean literally like you know today just happened today um I guess it happened last night but I just heard about it today okay without further Ado yeah but it's it's nice to be part of this you know when we're learning the's letters and we're connecting like this and we really really see that truly that that this is not just something we're reading that's from uh a certain period of time whatever the the date on the letter is but literally these things are happening now and it's it is amazing it's an amazing and thank you to all of you nudniks who harassed me that I had to do this series again even though I don't really feel like I'm equipped to do it but thank you because now I get to be front row to all these Miracles bashem okay letter number two um we're not going in any particular order partially because we're just kind of figuring out day by day which letters we're going to learn if you have a letter that you would like to study please send me an email at info soulwords dorg okay uh if you don't have the PDF so look if you're on soul wordss .org my website then the PDF is right underneath the video player if you're on YouTube there should be a link in the description if you're on uh like Spotify Apple podcasts I'm not sure if there is a link but yeah whatever that's the best I can tell you okay um here we go Brooklyn um by the grace of God the 16th of Kiss Live 5714 that's um the winter of well I'm not sure if it was 1954 yet or if it was still the last days of 1953 could have been like December 53 I didn't look at the English dat um okay and I don't have really any background about this uh Rabbi to whom the letter is written I just know he was a rabbi that's that's about that's about it okay I'm hereby acknowledging receipt of your letter from I'm happy to read that your Health situation has improved and that you uh are happy with your portion uh increase your your success to uh have this portion grow and your sim grow um you know your you're happy with your lot so your lot should grow and your should grow it's a nice okay it's a very beautiful all right Mas now let's get into the heart of the letter the real content all right I shouldn't say that the opening bar is not the heart of the content maybe even that's the most important part of the letter I don't know but here's the the part that I reacted to okay regarding what you write about talking during davening Etc okay so you know you could kind of piece together that apparently this person wrote to the Reb and said that um people are talking during doing I don't know if that was in his sh or a sh that he visited I don't know why he wanted to tell the deba about it maybe I'm not I don't want to like cast dispersions maybe he was like informing on people yeah maybe that's not that maybe that's not the right term but could be he was complaining to the deba that he went to a sh that he felt that the deba should have some type of input or some type of influence and basically saying hey I went there and wasn't very cool people were talking although I'm making that up it could have been that he was saying I'm having a hard time in sh because I'm the rabbi and I'm supposed to get everyone to Davin and people aren't all daving I really don't know the backgr ground I just know that he was complaining that people were uh we're talking during doing okay it is known how the uh Scholars the sages of old have have screamed about this have lamented this meaning to say the first thing that EBA does is establish you're right you're right this is a serious issue the greats have complained about this as well you're in good company talking in sh is not okay and uh you know we we we acknowledge that um that doesn't give any sources however you know what came to my mind immediately was at the very end of Tanya by the end of T I don't mean LM the 53 chapters I mean of the whole five sections or volumes of Tanya the fifth section being so in section nine test of there's the famous letter where the AL actually writes gal gal which is sort of an untranslatable Yiddish expression of um overwhelm the balat is reflecting on the fact that people are talking in sh and he's basically saying gal gal like guys he says this is this is a stumbling block for this is causing us problems this is not okay to talk in sh so the de basically says here you're 100% right this is a serious issue that the greats throughout history have complained about you're right you're right you're right you're right okay a however now here's the pivot after all that certainly you've heard the story that my father-in-law the Reb of blessed memory told a that in his youth asked his father meaning theab so the previous Reb asked his father theab um why was a person created with two eyes why does he have two eyes so his father the [Music] answered with your right eye meaning right eye is generosity kindness you should look at the other guy with a i Ina generous eye I in small and with the left eye that's which is D and restraint judgment you should look at the pleasures of this world so you were given two eyes so that you can sort of pivot between two perspectives depending on what you're looking at if you're looking at someone else use the right eye and see them favorably be a real defense attorney find mitigating circumstances and excuses and that's that's the proper way to look at another person if you're looking at the pleasures of this world then use the left eye and find fault in them and find why it's not really worth it and no I don't want it and find good reason to reject it and to distance yourself from the fleeting pleasures of this world Okay so you have both of these perspectives and you got to know when to use which one okay you you see where the Deb is heading right okay so that deba first acknowledges that the complaint is a valid complaint and it's a serious issue talking in SCH is not a trivial matter it's it really is truly an issue but then theba pivots and says but hold on a second you know are you talking about the issue or you talking about the people when it comes to the people let's look at them with a right eye you're right in principle the issue is a serious issue but you're talking about these people who are talking during ding let's look at them favorably and the debba doesn't just tell them to look at them favorably theb actually guides him through a thought process of how to view them favorably okay you should consider the fact that for these people the the Talkers in sh that all daving is happening in the middle of their work meaning to say you're looking at like how could you come to sh and you're in the middle of daving in the middle of daving you're talking no no you you don't understand the people that we're discussing here they're in the middle of work as far as they see it they're in the middle of their workday whether it's shakas and they go to Davin before they go to work but they could have been to work earlier where they could to work already why they why are they not at work yet because they're forced to be in sh or if it's for sure they had to stop in the middle of the day and and come to sh so they don't see it that they're talking in the middle of daving they see that daving is interrupting the middle of their work you have to you have to you have to appreciate that okay they they do stop they do interrupt their work and they devote a little bit of time to DAV before Hashem right in other words the fact that they're talking in sh is not an okay thing but it also indicates to you where their mindset is and being that that's where their mindset is it's actually if you think about it pretty impressive that they stopped working and they brought themselves to shore H this itself this itself that you understand where they're coming from will help you to see them in a favorable light and and this itself will ultimately lead them to become closer to a tal life in their day in their day-to-day Affairs in other words there's something very subtle happening here I mean to me it is and you got to stop it you got to stop and unpack it or you miss it first the is being okay he's saying it's so wonderful that they're even stopping to DAV all right but then theba takes it further and there's another step here which you could easily or I could easily Miss if I don't read this slowly and carefully in other words let let me back up you know the famous story of he was known as the great uh defend the defender of of the Jewish people he's always finding positive arguments to defend the Jews so there's a story that he was once uh entering sh and he saw a guy intelisent Fillin greasing his Wagon Wheel okay and the and he and the guy was saying schma he was saying schma so he sees this and surely you know how could you see the posi in such a situation this here's a guy in the in talson fill in the middle of schma and what's he doing he's greasing his Wagon Wheel it's so disrespectful toward doing and and the B says Master of the world look at your your beautiful people that even while he's greasing his Wagon Wheel he's saying your praise he flipped it right he flipped it instead of saying in the middle of doing the guy's greasing Wagon Wheels no no no in the middle of greasing Wagon Wheels he he's doing flip the whole thing okay and that's sort of what the deba says here that they don't look at it like they're talking in the middle of doing and interrupting daving they're looking at it like daving interrupted their day and as evidenced by the fact that they talked during daving okay but then the goes another step this is what I want to point out to you and says see even if this were just it in other words flip it reframe it see it in a positive light beautiful but then the ne goes one more step and says by the way the fact that they do stop and they do come to sh and yes they don't conduct themselves perfectly in sh but they're they're in sh that's a step and this step is surely going to lead to another step and eventually they will become closer to day-to-day observance of of Tyra and other words it's not just saying let's look at what they're doing right now as a snapshot and find a positive way to reframe it yes that's step one but step two is and and remember it's not a snapshot it's it's it's fluid it's in motion there there's a whole trajectory here and this is one step in a series God willing of further steps so right now they're coming to sh and they're not doing perfectly but they're here let them keep doing that and after a while it'll grow on them and they'll take another step and another step and another step so it's all about the growth it's all about the traj the trajectory and the the movement okay the ne once told someone that anyone who is trying to be better today than they were yesterday is considered my very interesting definition okay uh now this weighed heavily upon me as I Was preparing this year that deba says it's understood that we don't have to necessarily announce that all of the time you understand what the Deb is saying you don't have to get up and say guys it's okay I'm gonna look at you with a right eye with an ey if you talk during daving it's beautiful that you're even here you don't have to announce that this is a perspective for you to have personally internally so that you don't judge these people or to the contrary if you do judge them judge them favorably how beautiful it is that they're even coming to sh and knowing that it's going to lead to further growth in their yish but this is not something that we announce so I was asking myself is this really proper to give a Shear that we're going to put online um we're kind of announcing it uh so I had two thoughts One Is Well theba published this letter so the rebba knew the letter was being publicized so we're not doing anything more than that we're just taking what the Deb did already and I guess sharing it on that on that same level uh same degree of Pearson publicity you know um the second thought is that if you read the letter properly in its entire context it's clear that the debit does not take lightly the matter of talking sh in fact that's the first thing that ABBA says in the letter that this is a serious issue which the sages of old have boned for for ages okay so we don't have to necessarily announce this so that people don't exploit this and use it as a haer as a you know like a kosher stamp on this Behavior we're not saying it's okay it's not okay all right and by the way that's I think this Nuance is one that is worth examining being tolerant not just tolerant because tolerant implies I don't really like these people people but you know I'll be nice I'll let them be here it's more than that being respectful of people saying you know what this guy it's a struggle for him to even be here I respect that he's here I admire the fact that he came to sh so but having that type of um generous attitude toward people is not in contradiction with having standards in other words we can sustain both truths at the same time it's not okay to talk during sh and at the same time we can view people who talk in sh with a with a right eye with an eye in your off okay they're not contradictions anyways we don't want to announce this so that people don't you know take it and run with it and make it into a card blanch but for yourself you have to know this calculation to look at people with a right eye with a generous eye and the above idea or thought will make that easier for you uh says there's an enclosure here it's the printed um pamphlet for it's not just for rather the content that's discussed there is relevant throughout the year with a blessing for good health I wanted to also share another letter generally the letters that we learn are letters from egis that are printed in egis this is a letter that's not in the igus I believe it is originally an English letter I'm not going to read the entire letter but I'm going to read a large portion of it because it's quite connected to the theme of this letter uh this is from the 16th of tamos 5720 okay that's the summer of 1960 so I'm going to skip to maybe the third fourth paragraph here uh you this is not in the PDF I'm just adding this as a little bonus you write about meeting a Jew in the course of your travels who comes to the synagogue to help make up a minion yet at the same time reads the newspaper can imagine the situation it's a town I guess maybe it's a small town they don't have a lot of Jews whatever the situation is but they they need a a center they need a tenth guy for the minion the guy who's the tenth sits and he reads the paper so so in 2025 you can imagine a guy comes to sh and he sits and he Scrolls on his on his smartphone okay so pretty insulting right outrageous behavior all right everyone of course reacts to an experience in a way that is closest to him such an interesting statement wow thus for my part if you if you read these letters slowly you understand that E's giving us a gift right now that EBA just made a statement everybody will react to something in a way that is reflective of their personality so when the debba says thus for my part meaning how the debba looks at this situation the debba is telling us signaling us that he's going to give us a glimpse into his personality okay this is a a moment I I I feel for a to have a sort of personal connection to get a glimpse of how the Reb looks at life okay thus for my part I make the following two extreme observations first I see in it the extreme Jewish attachment which one finds in every Jew for here is a person who has wandered off to a remote part of the world yeah what I was saying before is a small town yeah it's a small town it's a remote part of the world and has become so far removed not only geographically but also mentally and intellectually as to have no concept of what prayer is or what a house of God is ETC yet one finds in him that Jewish spark or as the old rebi the founder of kabad expressed in his t the Divine Soul which is truly a part of God from chapter 2 this Divine Soul which is the inheritance of every Jew seeks expression as best it can and in the case of this particular Jew it seeks expression and at least enabling other Jews to pray congregationally and he therefore goes out of his way to help them and at the same time to be counted with them okay so first extreme observation the extreme attachment to the Nish has to hasem which is evidenced by the fact that here's a guy who doesn't even care about daving anymore at least outwardly at least outwardly and yet he cares enough to enable others to Davin that's profound in other words you could even say if the guy doed you could say he's at the minion because he wants a minion he doesn't even want the minion at least not outwardly but he cares that there should be a minion and and that and that's something beautiful and it shows the profound attachment that calls extreme attachment of the Nish to hasem okay my other observation following from the above is as follows if where the odds are so great against Jewish observance yet a Jew can remain active and conscious of his jewishness it can be it can easily be seen what great things could have been accomplished with this particular Jew if at the proper time he should have received the right education in his early life or at least the proper spiritual guidance in his adult adult life this consideration surely emphasizes the mutual responsibility which rests upon all Jews and particularly on those who can help others in other words here's a Jew Who Was Not educated properly and he has not received Jewish support at any juncture in his life and yet and he's barely hanging on and yet he's still motivated to make the minion you could extrapolate from that a imagine if he had been given support imagine what this guy would accomplish and don't just imagine it internalize that as an obligation to you that when you see somebody realize that when you lend them support in their spiritual growth there's so much potential for what they can accomplish if they're actually given some some Aid in this case this guy was given nothing nothing so that's why he's acting the way he's acting but if he were given more and again how do we know that he would do more if he were given more support CU he was given no support and look at look what he's doing it's this thing that's seemingly irrational he doesn't even care about the minion outwardly and yet he wants to be there so if he's doing that without any Jewish Education imagine if he would have received the Jewish Education all right I will not deny that the above is said not in a spirit of philosophizing but with a view to stimulate your thinking as to your own possibilities in your particular environment and what the proper attitude should be meaning the rebba doesn't allow the person to leave this as a what the rebba called philosophical idea that I was saying I'm being pretty like forward with you like I I I expect you to actually reach out to other Jews Like don't just tell me oh I saw this weird thing this guy reading the paper in the shore yeah no you saw it okay so this is a call to you get involved and help people I'm just going to finish one more paragraph of this letter we must never despair of any Jew and at the same time we must do all we can to take the fullest advantage of our capacities and abilities to strengthen the Jewish Consciousness among all Jews with whom we come in contact for one can never tell how far-reaching such influence can be to concl to conclude this letter on the happy note of the beginning of your letter relating to your marriage this person who was newly married it could even be that he saw the newspaper guy on a honeymoon trip for for all I know that's kind of I don't know what I imagined may I again reiterate my prayerful wishes that you establish and conduct your home on ever on Everlasting foundations of the Torah and Mitzvah and thus enjoy a totally happy and productive life both materially and spiritually which go hand in hand together um I trust both you and your wife I love it did you understand let me just finish the sentence I trust both you and your wife will find the enclosed copies of my recent message interesting and useful hoping to hear good news from you always I don't know the guy's relationship with the I don't know the context of it but that debba Mak sure to include his wife that the messages of empowerment of obligation toward our fellow the the whole the whole tone of this letter it's not just for him it's also for his wife she's also called upon to to do what she can do to support other Jews yeah galic absolutely amazing okay that's our letter for today uh if you have any favorite letters you want us to study over the next 28 Days please send me an an email at info@ souls. org thanks so much for joining us tonight