TNL in Jerusalem #13 - Jewish Survival

oreva Israel national TV and Oram the center for biblical Zionism present Arya brtz and Jeremy gimpel Live From The Heart of Israel welcome the Tuesday night live in Jerusalem n n n let Shalom everybody and welcome to Tuesday night live in Jerusalem so a couple days ago I find myself at the wedding of two beautiful holy incredible very special Jews on the peak of Mount scopus in Jerusalem now mount scopus it overlooks the beautiful Rolling Hills The Old City the Temple mount it was breathtaking now the bride her father was the rabbi who was a officiating the wedding so as you can imagine he was fighting off tears he was getting choked up everyone was getting choked up the bride sisters were balling I mean how could they not their father was officiating the wedding of their sister it was really touching it was so beautiful But the Groom he's what this whole presentation is about in my mind because he's such a special guy I met him a couple years ago when he was here in Israel visiting from his home in Thailand Now by his own admission he was a relatively secular disconnected assimilated Jew and never in his life would he think that he would end up marrying a girl here in Jerusalem making his life here but there we were at his wedding but what was so noteworthy about this wedding were the groom's parents you see his religious wedding the religious ceremony with the hoah with the K the white robe he was wearing was just as foreign to them as the religious LIF style that he decided to take on himself I spoke to his brother beforehand and his brother said you know I was warned about these religious weddings you know I don't really know what to expect I heard that the D guys dance in circles with the guys the girls dance in circles with the girls the whole thing sounds a little strange to me I said it's going to be the best wed you've ever been at in your entire life but let me just give you one piece of advice go and pick your brother up on your shoulders you see his brother is a dominant strong massive guy and he said I don't know you know I have a hernia I ripped it open I don't know if I can do that I said oh please you'll be fine it'll be great you rip it open we'll just stuff the intestines back in sew it up just do what you got to do so we're waiting for them to come out and finally the bride and the groom come out and there's an explosion of energy people are dancing people are singing people are juggling flips it's incredible and in swoops in the groom's little brother and with superhuman strength hoists his brother on his shoulders and dances with him for 5 minutes it was a feat that I could not ever believe now it was such a special wedding there was so much fun and I was thinking how am I going to make the bride and the groom smile and laugh because it's a Mitzvah to bring happiness to the bride and the groom on their wedding day so I was thinking about doing my patented belly flop I've done this before I go and I jump up in the air and I land flat on my face and although it does hurt it's funny it gets laughs but the last time I did it my shoulder hit the ground first and I couldn't move I was actually dragged off the dance floor so I nicked that and I was thinking Plan B is always to take a big vase of water and go offer it to them and then just dump it over my head but the chances of an elder of the wedding slipping breaking a hip it just wasn't worth it so I thought maybe Jeremy wasn't there I'll steal his stick his trick what does he do he goes to the table grabs the flowers shoves them into his mouth eats them and I was going to do that I was looking at the flowers I was weighing the options but my gag reflex is so sensitive that I couldn't take the risk of of throwing up my freshly eaten egg rolls all over the bride so I just decided this wedding I was going to take the normal route be a normal person and just dance and have fun because the last thing that this wedding was lacking was happiness and fun but like so many weddings here in Jerusalem I always feel a little twinge of pain pain for the other half the other half of Jews that are so disconnected and so assimilated that they don't understand the gravity of the error that they're making by marrying out of the Jewish Nation they don't understand what a terrible thing it is to sever the link between their ancestors and their descendants I always think of this fellow I met in Texas he was telling me that he was planning a wedding of his own with his non-jewish girlfriend but he was waiting for his grandmother to die now I know sounds terrible it sound terrible to me but really I think it was coming from a good place because she was old and she was sick and he didn't want to break her heart and I said to him but doesn't it hurt you don't you feel guilty and he said why would I possibly feel guilty I went every now and then to a Reconstructionist Temple growing up it was anything but spiritual it was like a country club he said it was like keeping up with the Goldbergs everybody was comparing everything else with each other he said the rabbi didn't even believe in God his parents his grandparents never really stressed the importance of marrying a Jew and now now that he falls in love now because of some nostalgic sense of guilt that his grandmother has he can't be with the girl he loves you know what was I going to say no that's not the whole story that's not really Judaism to him that was the whole story to him that really was Judaism so what do you do with that there's a Jewish guy a non-jewish girl he loves her and she loves him what do you say to them with such a challenge and tonight we have a Jewish leader that's going to help tackle this issue he's the director of Israelite he's one of the most powerful and inspiring teachers in Jerusalem his name is Rabbi Benny fredman when discussing how to combat assimilation and when people ask me why is it important to be Jewish why be Jewish what's so special about the Jewish people I feel though a non-jew says it better than anyone my mother gave this to me when I graduated high school written by Mark Twain a non-jew in America Harper's magazine in 1899 asked Mark Twain to write an article about the Jewish people asking could you do this without any biased and he said I believe I can this is in 1899 and this is what he wrote If the statistics are right the Jews constitute but 1% of the human race it suggests a nebulous dim puff of Stardust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way properly the Jew ought hardly be heard of but he is heard of he has always been heard of he is a prominent on the planet as any other people in his commercial importance extravagantly out proportion to the smallness of his bulk his contributions to the world's list of great names in literature science art music Finance medicine and to learning are also way out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers he has made marvelous fight in this world in all the ages and he has done this with his hands tied behind him he could be vain of himself and be excused for it the Egyptians the Babylonians and the Persian Rose filled the planet with sound and Splendor and faded into dream stuff and passed away the Greeks and the Romans followed and made their vast noise and they are now gone other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for that time but it burned out and they sit in Twilight now or have vanished the Jew saw them all and beat them all and is now what he always was exhibiting no decadence no infirmities of age no weakening of his Parts no slowing of his energies no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind all things are mortal but the Jew all other forces pass but he remains what is the secret of his immortality why be Jewish because it's magnificent to be Jewish because it's special and wondrous we're all a part of the Eternal nation of Israel and we're all a part of the majesty and greatness of Jewish destiny tonight we want to call on all of our brothers and sisters around the world and say keep the flame of Judaism burning bright our grandfathers and our great-grandfathers sacrificed so much for for us to be here today our lives in Israel are the living dreams and hopes of centuries upon centuries Generations upon Generations if there was ever a time to join the Jewish people on this marvelous Journey it would be today don't break the link of our heritage and if Judaism doesn't mean much to you come to Israel and find out more about who you are you don't owe it just to your ancestors you owe it to yourself because you're a part of the most amazing people that has ever existed on the face of the planet but for now we want you to meet the streets of Jerusalem we want you to hear what the Jews of Jerusalem have to say about being Jewish about staying Jewish because Ari and I want you to meet the street and now meet the street with Ari and Jeremy so what's the best way you think to fight assimilation marry a Jew Judaism is like right so I think that by the time you get married you should like know and like be like solid enough with your religion to like know that it's right and therefore why would you want to marry anybody else except for JE Judaism is life and if you marry outside of Judaism that's already giving up who you are and that your identity and when you marry you're not I mean you're marrying like in your identity you can't marry outside of who you are I think it's important that um that we recognize that we're not just like all other people and that we continue our faithin ourselves and can like you can't fulfill your purpose of what you're supposed to do here if you're not not doing it with the people that you were given to do with for thousands of years like we've been the one nation when every other like ancient civilization has fallen like the Jews have been the one people that managed to stay together and I think an important part of doing that is like maintaining you know like the central CORE family belief because you know once you have a Jewish person and a Catholic person Maring and you're saying to your kid you know you could be Jewish you could be Catholic and you know you're taking away the fact that this isn't something we're necess given as a choice you know we were born Jewish and it's just something that you know we have to accept and you know live our life based on so just have to show you know people like your family you know that this is what's important would you ever marry a non-jew no I don't think so not even not even Brad Pit no doie Hower no John Candy NOP I respect your resolve on the issue if we're going to preserve our identity we have to do it it's a feeling that I need Jewish because I'm Jewish and it's something connected to my soul mer so what do you think the best way to fight aimation is first of all live in a Jewish Society second of all come to Israel what do you got to look for in gas you're a Jew you're born in Israel come back to Israel what's fun to be Jewish cuz we get a state in Israel and like you get to be with all these other Jews would you marry only Jewish yeah why why would you only marry Jewish well I feel proud to be a Jew and I want my kids to be Jewish do you love being Jewish yes would you like to marry a Jewish man of course why was it important for you to marry a Jewish man because I'm Jewish and so what does that mean why is it important to have Jewish children yes what would you want to teach them Jewish things are you Jewish yeah sure do you like being Jewish sure do you want to marry a Jewish woman sure why because I'm Jew and the to be be Jewish it's this is a it's uh I can't speak in English God bless you like every like every other religion no matter how strong they are they've always been wiped out so I think like JM is really just like life you know what I'm saying what she said before like it's life it's like Everlasting it's like it's insurance that you have it in with like the master of the universe we have to fulfill and become closer to God as much as we can every single day with everything that we do we keep going on you know what I'm saying and like I think that's what it is it's like God is on our side and like we know what we're doing we're like United in a way that like no other nation is what do you think is the secret to our survival uh I got to say perseverance I think it's Joy I think Jewish people when they come together to celebrate Kim and weddings I think there's a lot of Joy I think that's the secret what do you think is the secret to Jewish survival je mother Jewish Mothers honestly I Jewish Mothers are the one who P trans everything down to their children and to their children and they're the one that keeps the House Coos the one that keeps the um the Jewish theme alive and the love for the Jewish religion and and the and the meim that the Jewish people carry and that's what brought us through what do you have to say about that she usually has she's sleeping if you're proud to be a Jewish person I think that'll come through to your children and I think in any place where they are any place in the world they find themselves they will act as Jews they'll be proud of their Heritage they'll pass a Heritage down to their children are you Jewish no so what is your favorite thing about the Jewish people their love their heart they're just the most magnificent people we've ever met what would you do if all of the Jewish people disappeared we wouldn't exist we wouldn't make it we couldn't we couldn't we couldn't survive without you so why do you think it's so important that the Jewish people exist because you are God's number one group in his Redemptive plan and if you're not there we're not there what do you think is the secret to Jewish survival that's the will the power the uh the illusion the illusion well I mean for 2,000 years the Jewish people were scattered among the Nations the last stop we really had was in Germany where Germans killed 6 million Jews what's it like to be from Germany and see the state of Israel and Jerusalem a Jewish state does that make you happy that we were able to exist I admire I worked for 30 years for for Israeli companies or wow for Israeli companies so you love the Jewish people very much where are you from I'm from from Ethiopian from Ethiopia yes are you Jewish no I Christian people you're a Christian yes do you love the Jewish people yes I love the Jewish people I love Jewish people because they are the people that are is are God's chosen ones they are the people who directed me to the Torah I had I didn't I knew nothing about the Torah um they are the people that taught me how to love how to to to deal with life and to love the state of Israel walk on this land take this land cultivate this land produce it do do what you're supposed to do obey his Commandments and be strong do you speak English uh I'm Shalom and welcome back to Tuesday night live in Jerusalem now for the heart of the evening we have Rabbi Benny fredman with us tonight the director of Israelite in The Old City the rosha Shiva of yeshivat or one of the most inspirational speakers I've ever met and one of the greatest storytellers I've ever heard so tonight please give a warm welcome to Rabbi Benny fredman grabi thank you so much for being with us tonight the question I guess we'll start off with is how big of a problem is assimilation is it as big as we think are we really going down the drain okay it's h good to be no I'm just kidding serious question how big is the problem of assimilation well in order to talk about how big the problem is I guess first we have to Define what the problem is um most people think that assimilation is the problem assimilation is not the problem assimilation is a symptom it's caused by the problem and the problem is education uh one could suggest that the reason that people have such a hard time falling in love with being Jewish um because their education and the Judaism that they view Judaism as being it's just not something worth falling in love with and I'll give you a quick example okay I do a lot of flying and uh there are certain aspects of flying that you get used to and uh you can tell when they happen who the veteran Flyers are so a friend of mine recently sent me an email and uh he was on a plane and uh they have this uh I don't know quite how to describe it it's called wind shear wind shear basically means that your plane is flying along everything is normal and at some point for some inexplicable reason the plane takes a nose dive hits some kind of wind something they don't really know what this is and if you're on a plane and you've experienced wind shear and the plane is flying down you know th000 ft a second you get a little nervous so this Fell's on a plane and the Pilot's doing his thing right the pilot gets on he's got to make his announcements everybody knows he's there you know you'll be flying over Kansas you'll see the Rocky Mountains whatever it might be and he's in the middle of the speech and they hit this incredible wind chare and the plane takes a nose dive okay and uh the pilot doesn't realize that his microphone is still on and you hear over the microphone holy you know I don't know who's going to see this Holy Bagel okay now if you're on a plane and the pilot who's calm a moment ago all of a sudden screams out Holy Bagel you get nervous so you right away see who the newbies are they're all assuming the position and then a moment later you know things calm down and he suddenly realizes that he left the microphone on so he gets back on the microphone he says ladies and gentlemen no time were you in any danger we just hit windsh here we're fine it was just that I just been given a hot cup of coffee you should see my pants at which point somebody from the back stands up and screams you should see mine right the problem the problem is all about perspective it depends where you're sitting on the plane and we need to find a way to share a Judaism that's worth sharing so now you ask me how big the problem is just as an example we've begun a program uh at Israelite it's called or it's a one-year program post high school and as a result I've been visiting high schools here in is Israel and especially in America I have yet to find a Jewish high school that doesn't have a significant number of students who have spent the better part of their youth studying Judaism who are not completely disaffected and if we don't find a way to communicate a Judaism that's empowering that's relevant that's inspirational then the overwhelming majority of the next generation will have no interest in being Jewish that's the challenge so we're wondering then what's the way like what is your approach to solving this problem okay um I think uh I think probably one of the challenges you know R cook who was the first Chief Rabbi of Israel before it was a state um believed that everything comes into the world for reason and that there's Beauty and sanctity to everything so somebody once asked him well if everything is Holy what's holy about atheism like why do we need atheism so R cook suggested that the atheist comes to teach the world something because what is the atheist basically saying he's saying that if this is the god that you would have me believe in that I'm not interested because God has to be better than that and the truth is that the atheist is right God is better than that in fact the god that the atheist isn't interested in I'm not interested in either I just think that that's not really what God is all about I think the same is true about Judaism we need to share a Judaism that's much more beautiful and much more inspirational and I emphasize the word share look if Judaism is that beautiful if Israel is that magnificent you shouldn't have to be convincing or proving to anybody what you jism is you should just be able to share it with them in fact it's like it's like a chocolate bar you know there are certain things that were put in this world because God did us a favor Hershey Symphony chocolate bar I don't know if I'm in trouble for mentioning a name imagine that you want to share with someone just how incredible chocolate is but he's never tasted chocolate so you can talk about chocolate till you're blw in the face until he experiences a chocolate bar he's not going to get it and once he tastes it he gets it so I think ultimately the challenge is how we share the experience of what Judaism is all about with more and more Jews and that's a step in the right there so how do we do that what do we do to let them experience what authentic Judaism is ah okay well first of all I think you all have to come visit Israel and I think you should come now we're waiting for you that's first of all second of all I think that um that those of us who love being Jewish and find Judaism relevant have to learn how to share it and I don't think we do a good enough job at that you know um and third of all I think that there are so many look we're a blessed generation for 2,000 years we've been wandering the face of the globe and today you can get on a plane and I guess the people in this audience know that and for 9.99 you can you can walk in the whole city of Jerusalem you can you can stand in the Golan Heights in the Valley of Tears and witness a place where the Jewish State survived where where where where where one battalion held off entire brigades of Syrian tanks in 1973 you can stand on the kerit I mean wherever it is and well you can't stand on the caner that was done and you know that's different but uh Lake ker but uh I I think the first challenge I think the first challenge is that uh we have to empower people and share with people and offer people the opportunity to come once people come here there's such a plethora of opportunities I also think by the way that the internet and the web and and we could get going use up our time so how could the average person go and share this knowledge without seeming like a missionary what should they give out books is what would you recommend as far as you know one of the interesting um challenges um we once had a student at Israelite and uh we were doing one of our Retreats plug plug plug and um and we were sort of you know going around this circle a whole bunch of students of every Jewish variety you can imagine and this girl was sharing sort of what she got out of this Shabbat experience and uh she said that she had been in a very traditional high school in Brooklyn somewhere doesn't matter what it was called and um she was describing to us sort of at what point she really took a turn in a different direction she came to you know the school in the morning and they had a traditional prayer service what they call daving and uh she was just not into it wasn't her thing but she was there and she was respectful and she was standing there and she had the prayer book open the sidor and one of the teachers came over her and said you know I don't know we'll call her ra you're not you're not ding you're not praying so she said well you know I'm here I'm not daving I'm I don't I don't really get it but I'm here so the teacher says to her well you have to Davin so the girl says well you you can't make us Davin you can't force us to do this so the teacher says no no that's not true this is part of the curriculum and we expect you to be respectful so the girl says well I am being respectful I'm here I'm holding the prayer book I'm not bothering anybody you can't force me to pray so the teacher says yes we can this is part of the curriculum and if you don't do the prayer thing right then uh then then then we'll ask you to leave the school so of course the girl said well you can't force me to pray so they expelled her now you got to think about this for a minute what's the issue here first of all this girl is probably the smartest girl in the room cuz she's recognizing that she's involved in something that doesn't make sense to her and that troubles her but the real challenge here is the teacher because you can't blame the teacher because I think possibly at the root of that dialogue was the fact that the teacher had no VI way to explain why this girl could find prayer to be a meaningful experience right I mean most people walk into a synagogue and they assume at best that the goal of being in the synagogue is to ask God for a whole shopping list of things let's assume for the moment that you're in a synagogue because you really want to ask God for something that you find meaningful somebody's sick and you want them to get better but then you stop to think about it well you have to go to synagogue to ask God to make somebody better doesn't God know what you want want in fact who made the person sick to begin with God so you really should wake up in the morning say listen God I don't know what you're doing but whatever it is keep up the good work and that'll be done be shortest service in history everybody would love it so so what's the point I think what we need to do is to begin to ask ourselves honestly well so what are our questions why is it that we're not inspired about what we do you can't share something as inspirational until you find it inspirational and the question is how much do we really want that how important is that to us right so that's at least the beginning so if someone is now being challenged they're thinking of intermarrying they're thinking they have a child that's thinking about being it they're just disenchanted with Judaism what would you recommend they do okay well obviously that's a a question that very much depends on the specifics of the case but I'll give you just as a as a broad perspective I think very often the challenge is that we know the implications of the choices we're making that we understand what it is we're giving up you I've met people very often um and I think by the way part of the challenge here also is that uh very often when we're trying to communicate sort of messages along this line people find that to be very judgmental you know imagine if you're you're sitting with with a couple and you know this was your example from before she's Catholic and he's Jewish and uh you know somehow they got in front of the rabbi right and uh you're trying to say something to them what is it you're trying to do what's your goal so in in my perspective I just want to know that the people that I'm sitting with at least understand what it is that they're giving up right and that's a that's that's a very big question what is it that they're giving up do they care that they're giving it up right um you know very often someone will say well you know we'll give our child a choice you know they'll get more for the same Buck they can learn about Catholicism they can learn about Judaism right and that's of course very difficult because it's difficult enough to bring a child up as a Jewish child if you have two Jewish parents if they're getting a mixture of both are they really getting either so the dialogue really is about what it is that you have to offer and what it is that they're giving up but I think on a deeper level I think that people become impacted in these discussions because they feel that they've met someone who sees something that they haven't quite seen and and that's a very difficult question um in fact we have time for an example yes I'll give you a quick example I once get a call I was uh it doesn't matter I was in a conference and I kept getting messages from this fellow I didn't know who he was and I just didn't have the time to return the phone call but you know 10 messages in one day so I finally managed to call this fellow back and uh didn't know who he was I thought maybe somebody I knew I didn't remember so we get on the phone I hello I'm Benny Friedman you know can I help you so the guy on the other end of the phone says well you know I am told you are the one to stop and into marriage I don't know if that's true but fine so we get into this discussion and it turns out that his son is seeing this non-jewish girl and that's an interesting question whether that's really my speed but okay so I said to him well look you know I mean I don't know your son I don't know the girl I don't know you but I'm always happy to talk to anybody um you know how serious is this so he says well they're engaged I okay well when are they getting married he says in 2 weeks okay so I said look I'm happy to meet with them I'll meet anybody but I don't know that I'm going to you know but okay so of course go get a guy who's two weeks before his wedding to meet the rabbi right turned out that this father was not planning on attending the wedding put aside for the moment whether that's right or wrong it's a very difficult question a lot of pain involved so I said to the father listen I'll tell you what I don't know this fellow I don't know if he'll come to see me I don't know if we'll get together but you got to be willing to give something up so I'll tell you what I'll tell your son on the phone that if he agrees to meet with me you'll go to the wedding are you willing to do that so this guy after some koling agreed and that's what we did so we got together for an evening and uh we were on the west side of Manhattan and uh we have this whole discussion and we ended up in a synagogue and uh the whole discussion was not about whether I thought it had nothing to do with the girl I'm sure the girl was a wonderful girl and this was a really fine fellow and his question of course well why shouldn't I married somebody who's not Jewish nobody ever gave me a reason to love being Jewish to begin with so we get into this whole discussion and we end up in a synagogue and I had arranged in this particular synagogue which will go nameless or I'll never be invited there again but uh I arranged for the main sanctuary to be open I know the people in the synagogue and I arranged for the ark to be open okay and we go into the synagogue and I can't believe I'm saying this and this is being recorded but we go into the synagogue and uh and we have this whole discussion and I said to him listen I know that your father's giv you a tough time and you strike me as a really you know beautiful guy and uh you know the implications of what you're doing are so significant and I don't think you should break off the relationship I just think you know you have to ask yourself whether you're really to get ready to get married and you know what you're giving up so give yourself a little test you know there's a Torah scroll in there you grew up as a Jew everybody knows what a Torah scroll is okay I take out the Torah scroll and he's holding the sa for Torah and I said to him it's hard for me to communicate why it is that someone like you who I've never met right I can still love and that it would mean so much to me if you would consider how wonderful it could be you know to be Jewish to have Jewish children Etc so I said you have to ask yourself if that's important to you if it's not important to you so then let it go and move on you know guilt isn't good for anybody but if it's really important to you then before you move on and make this decision take some time lots of people put off their marriage so I said look I can't bear to watch this so I'm going to walk out of the sanctuary and uh I'll come back in half an hour and you don't have to be here and uh if you don't care about Judaism one wit and you think the whole thing's ridiculous then just leave the Torah scroll on the floor so I want you to know that if I come back to the sanctuary I check there were no services in the next half hour if I come back to sanctuary and the Torah calls on the floor I'm going to have to fast for 30 days that's Jewish tradition but I'm willing to do that right that's how much I care about you if you can't put the torus scroll on the floor then that means that something's bugging you and you got to ask yourself what that is what you do with that is up to you do not try this at home okay I've never done this again I came back to the synagogue the Tor score was back in the ark it was closed okay and this guy had gone and um I debated should I call the father should I not call the father so I didn't call and uh I figured like life will will will lead me to wherever it's supposed to lead me and about 3 weeks later I get a call not from the father he never called me I don't know what happened there but the boy actually called and he ended up coming to Israel he didn't marry this girl and he's today living somewhere in Israel that's another story so you never know you're a Gambling Man yeah you you you you never really know but I do think that there are two issues that are critical one of them is how we view our fellow human being essentially what you're saying at the heart of these discussions is that someone has a different perspective and you disagree with their perspective that's a very difficult thing to say to somebody it's especially difficult if you're saying it or sharing it or communicating it with someone you've never met you can only disagree with someone this is just an opinion when you first respect where they're coming from you have to really respect where a person is coming from and they have to sense that you respect where they're coming from then you have a right to disagree with them and I'll give you an example okay I hate the labels I think labels are a terrible thing I think we put ourselves in the boxes you know are we Orthodox are we reform are we conservadox right those labels didn't really exist in the same way thousand years ago the word religious is a very difficult word what does religious mean who do we Define as religious I would like to think that when you think a person is religious you immediately assume that he never Slanders his fellow human being you immedi assume that he's so respectful of his parents you immediately assume that when you run into such a person this is the person you want to be around I don't know if that's true but okay in Jewish tradition by the way to the best of my knowledge you do not find in traditional sources the word religious because to be able to judge the totality of a person you just don't find that you can judge an action but okay but let's assume for the moment that uh that a person you know is coming from a different perspective so we'll use a label for the purpose of this discussion take the reform movement now the reform movement came on the scene a couple hundred years ago and they had very good intentions right the world had locked us up into our ghettos for almost 2,000 years and in that process we had developed a system of ethics of of of love for our fellow human being that was to be modeled and now the ghettos were opening up we were able to own land we were able to vote we were able to to be a part of of of of society so came along a group and said let's let's join Society let's share with them the beauty that we've discovered the ethical worldle that could be and in order to do that let's assimilate into the world let's meet them in the boardroom in the bedroom everywhere and let's be part of them in fact the original Reform movement actually had their rabbis taking off their kipot because that way they weren't separate but a part of society they removed all mention of the land of Israel from their prayer books they were vly against by the way the establishment of the state of Israel because they did not want to see another Jewish ghetto be created let's be one right imagine there no peoples right John lennin now that's a beautiful idea and before you can disagree with it which I do you have to respect where it's coming from that's beautiful once you respect where it's coming from then you can disagree with it theologically and by the way that's the dis difference between a disagreement and an argument so I think the same is true as individuals too often I've seen people who are so dogmatic about how they view Judaism religion tradition it's not good personal right you know and and and and it comes off as as as such a judgment in fact sometimes you know you meet a guy I've met students who you know became more involved and sort of deeper in meshed in Jewish tradition and sometimes they become very dogmatic and you'll hear somebody talking to someone who's new to Judaism and you have to take that person aside say you know if you had met you 5 years ago you wouldn't be a traditional Jew today so that's a challenge we have to learn how to let go a little how to make it about sharing and not about convincing RBI thank you so much for being with us tonight thank you pleasure a dear friend of mine he was on the verge of marrying his non-jewish girlfriend and much to my shock I couldn't believe it he received almost no objections no problems from any of his friends or his family they all really strictly adhered to the Western philosophy of Live and Let Live whatever makes you happy and honestly I couldn't do it maybe it's out of style but I said I couldn't do it and I would not go to the wedding and Not only would I not go to the wedding but our friendship would never be the same and we had discussions and we had arguments and we had all sorts of dialogue for a long time and really the whole thing throughout the entire process I can tell he wasn't really fighting with me he was fighting with himself and this went on for a while and in the end thank God he ended up breaking up with his non-jewish girlfriend but what makes this story so special is that soon thereafter he called me he called me and he thanked me for disapproving he thanked me for saying no for standing up against him and really standing up for him he was so happy he was now married to a Jewish that he fell madly in love with and he for the rest of his life now you see as a people as a nation it's time for us to stand up it's time for us as r b said to stand for Jewish identity not necessarily fighting against everything against assimilation against intermarriage fighting for the Jewish Family fighting for Jewish Education and the Jewish identity because our future depends on it Shalom from Jerusalem High look at how beautiful the je people are wo I'm I'm oh all I know know all know God w