The Unity Between Yosef and Yehuda - Torah Or "Vayigash" #3 - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

The Yeshiva.net Let's continue another paragraph inside. We have a lot to explain still, but I want to learn another paragraph inside. Daf mem dalet amud aleph. Page 87. Vezel moshe kasav ba'haftora de'parshas Vayeigash. Now we can understand what it says in the haftora of Vayeigash. Kach lecha eitz echad. U'chsav alav Yehuda. The haftora of Vayeigash is Yechezkel perek lamed zayin. The navi Yechezkel, the prophet Yechezkel lived at the time after the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash. In his prophecies, he begins his prophecies al nahar Kvar, ani besoch hagola, I'm in exile by the river called Kvar. And he begins his prophecies ma'aseh merkava and the rest of sefer Yechezkel. The haftora of Vayeigash is the following prophecy. The Ribono shel oilam tells Yechezkel, "Take eitz echad. Take one tree, one branch. U'chsav alav Yehuda. Write on it, 'This is for Yehuda.' U'lkach eitz echad, take another tree, another branch. U'chsav alav Yosef. And write on this one, 'This is for Yosef.' This is eitz Ephraim, the tree of Ephraim. Ephraim was a son of Yosef. So you have here two branches. On each one there's a different name. Here it says Yehuda, here it says Yosef. U'krav oisam echad el echad. And then bring the two branches together. Bring them close. Krav oisam means bring them close one to one. And what happens is, as the haftora says, what happens is the two branches are going to morph into, merge into a singular branch. What does this represent? What's the point? Vehoyu le'echad beyadecha, they're going to become one. That's the quote of the pasuk. And when the people will ask you, "What is this ma'aseh? What is this significance of this?" You're going to tell them for history, for so many years there was a split among the Jewish people. You had one branch of Yehuda and what you had one branch of Yosef. And what split is he's referring to? He's referring to not only the original split, he's referring to the later split. Remember the story. After Hamelech, let's remember a little bit of the history. Yosef is a king in Egypt. He rules. Yehuda is under Yosef. Everybody is under Yosef. He rules. Yosef died, passes away. The exile begins and then nobody's a king. The Jews are in exile. They emerge as a free people under the leadership of Moshe Rabbeinu. They go into Eretz Yisrael, but there's no king. For hundreds of years there's no king. They're ruled by by shoftim, by judges. By judges over the generations. That's discussed in sefer Yehoshua and primarily in sefer Shoftim. The first king is Shaul Hamelech from shevet Binyamin. Shaul fails as a king, as the Tanach describes at length, and in in in Shmuel, in Shmuel aleph, Shaul fails. Shaul ultimately is killed with his son Yehonasan by the Plishtim, by the Philistines. Killed or suicide. And then David becomes the king. David becomes the king after Shaul. This is the first king from shevet Yehuda. David passes away and he's succeeded by his son becomes the melech now. This was a unique period of Jewish history. The Gemara said, the Midrash says about that kayma se'ara ba'shlemusa. represents the moon in its complete in its complete appearance on the 20 on the 15th day of the month. Because if you study Jewish history from Avraham to in terms of leadership, you have 15 generations. So is the 15th, the moon is complete. What happens after the 15th day? The moon starts declining. First it waxes and then it wanes. From Hamelech till Tzidkiyahu, the last king of Yehuda, you have again 15 generations. So that's when the moon goes into exile. The moon is eclipsed. When but it doesn't begin, the decline doesn't begin at the end. The decline of the moon begins already the 16th day of the month. It's already not the same. When Hamelech dies, he is succeeded by his son Rechavam. So you have David, Rechavam, who was a son of The people come to Rechavam and they request him, they request of him to be easy on taxes. demanded tremendous amounts of taxes both in terms of money and in terms of people's service. Because he built up an extraordinary monarchy and he built the Beis Hamikdash and it took a toll on the people. So they asked Rechavam to relax the pressure. So Rechavam consulted two groups of advisers, elderly sages who still served his father, and then the younger people who he grew up in high school with, he would play basketball with them. The elderly said, "They're right. Take it easy." The young people said, "Make it harder on them." So when they came to Rechavam after three days, Rechavam said, "You think my father was tough? You think my father was tough? Ani ayaser etchem ba'akrabim u'vashotim, I will use scorpions and whips on you." So what did they do? They did what Jews do. They created a revolt. They created a mutiny. And they appointed a new king. Who was the new king? Yeravam ben Navat, who came from Ephraim, who was a son of Yosef. And he moved to the north. Rechavam remained in the south in Yerushalayim with the Beis Hamikdash and he moved to the north. And for the next few hundred years there was a split. 10 of the shvatim were not under Beis David. Two of the shvatim, Yehuda and Binyamin, remained loyal to the house of David. The other 10 out of 12 shvatim remained under what's called Malchus Yisrael or Malchus Ephraim or Malchus Yosef, known as the northern kingdom versus the southern kingdom. This of course weakened the fabric of the Jewish people cuz there was a split militarily, politically, on on every level there was a split. And ultimately when the Assyrian king comes, he manages to exile completely the 10 tribes. He attempts also to exile the last two tribes, but Chizkiyahu, who was the melech Yehuda, protects it and he is defeated, Sancheiriv is defeated. This is 150 years before Churban Bayis Rishon. Then with Churban Bayis Rishon, everybody, almost everybody is exiled from the land by the Babylonian king Nevuchadnetzar, 150 years after the exile of the first 10 tribes. So Yechezkel is living in the aftermath of the destruction that happens as a result of the split. So Hashem says, "Take two branches, one Yehuda, one Yosef. And bring them together and let them become one. And people will ask you, 'What's the point?'" So basically you're saying, "I'm taking the tree of Yosef and I'm taking the tree of Yehuda and I'm creating unity between them." There should not be any more a split between the two. As he puts it in Yechezkel, lo yichatsu oyd lishtei malchuyos, oyd, there shouldn't be two empires. Va'avdi David melech aleihem u'ro'eh echad yihyeh lechulam, there should be one shepherd for everybody. One shepherd for all the people, vedavid avdi nasi lahem melech lahem. This is the haftora of Vayeigash. Why do we read this in haftora of Vayeigash? Vayeigash speaks about the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef. Yehuda confronts Yosef. As a result, Yosef reveals himself. Yehuda is seeking Yosef. He needs something from Yosef. He's the victim or not the the recipient. Yosef is the mashpia. In the haftora, the sentiment is the opposite. The two trees become one, va'avdi David nasi lahem melech lahem. Yechezkel is prophesying about a time that the split will cease. There will be one king, there will be one leader and the two trees will morph into one. But it's not that there will be one leader and Yosef will be disregarded. Yosef will become subservient. No, the two trees become one. They merge into oneness under the leadership of David. Does it say in Yechezkel that the the branch of David of Yehuda is on top of the branch of Yosef? two. It doesn't say that. No, no. There's two separately. Bring them together. Krav oisam. He says, "Vekarav oisam echad el echad lehiyos eitz echad vehoyu le'echad beyadecha." It doesn't say va'avdi David melech. No, yeah. He's asking me the trees. Hineni lokeyach eitz Yosef venasati Oh, you mean that. Okay. Hineni lokeyach eitz Yosef asher beyad Ephraim veshivtei Yisrael chaverav venasati oisam alav et eitz Yehuda va'asisi oisam is on top. Va'asisi oisam le'eitz echad vehoyu echad beyadi. Va'asisi oisam legoy echad ba'aretz beharei Yisrael u'melech echad yihyeh lechulam. Vehoyu oyd leshnei lo yichatsu oyd lishtei malchuyos oyd velo yitamu oyd me'aleihem melech le'olam. A beautiful, beautiful navua, va'avdi David melech aleihem u'ro'eh echad yihyeh lechulam. Talked about a time. Hineni lokeyach eitz Yosef venasati oisam alav eitz Yehuda, avdi David melech aleihem, which is the end of the period. Peirush, what does this mean? Ki ya'atov Yosef al Yehuda now Yosef is higher than Yehuda, shunim shel ha'aretz asher gadlu bigoyim u'mitocham avad. I'll He is the cedar who grows in its height and always adds more and more. The same is true with Yoisif to whom you have all the 10 shvatim that belong to him. Reuven and Shimon and Levi and Yissachar all the 10 shvatim with Yoisif besides Yehuda says clearly in the navua it's not just the stick of Yoisif. The stick of Yoisif represents all the tribes as friends. Compare Yehuda as two and he has 10. You know what's greater, 10 or two? So it's not just an issue of quantity, it's an issue of quality. There's something about Yoisif that is far more impressive, far more royal, far greater, far more powerful, far larger than the other one. Yoisif is the cedar tree, doesn't stop growing, there's growth in Yoisif. And that's why he also has the majority of the Jewish people. And that's why he's called Yoisif as we said from the word hoisefa from the word smicha lahoisif more and more and as he explained before Yoisif represents yesoid which goes up to daas, daas elyon, daas oilam da keser eres balabon and he's referring to what he said before. as it will be in the future When the two Yoisif and Yehuda will unite then here he says words. They will unite together with the ultimate authentic unity. The high numacha kosova yigash elav Yehuda When does this moment begin? It already begins in vayigash elav Yehuda he approaches Yoisif they're becoming closer. Who comes closer the posuk in Eiyov says echod be echod yigashu v'zar lo ya'aveh beneihem one in one will come close and nothing will come in between them. V'zeh yihyeh lo asid l'aveh this will only be in the future when they will become synthesized completely. Oz what happens then is Suddenly the shoresh of Yehuda being deeper than Yoisif will be revealed in Yehuda appear Yehuda emerges as being beyond higher than Yoisif. Kanah as we said before our posuk eishes chayil ateret baalah L'chayei if Yoisif and Yehuda becoming one why is the king from David? Why not the king be from Yoisif? It's not fair. It's not fair. We're really becoming one, okay, make a compromise. What is it called the few years what's what's huh? Rotations? You have Yoisif, you have Yehuda. You say no, but they're going to become one. There will be no there WILL BE NO SPLIT WHATSOEVER. BUT suddenly V'yihyeh echod v'avdi David says again And there'll be complete peace. Why is Yoisif not going to revolt? Ech yihyeh ani melech? What am I? Chopped liver? What what about my bracha? What happened to my dreams? I'm going to be the king you're bowing down to me. So he doesn't say they're not really one. They when they really become one automatically avdi David melech doesn't become a question anymore. V'zeh she kosov this is the meaning Yoisif ha'apek v'chol anashav malav b'hisvada Yoisif el echav After Yehuda approaches him and pleads with him Yoisif can't contain himself. He sends everybody out as b'hisvada as he confesses as he makes known who he is to his brothers. The high numacha That moment was a moment of grace even before Mashiach many years before lo asid l'aveh. It was a moment when Yoisif and Yehuda experienced complete synthesis and oneness that the echod became one with the echod. Echod b'echod yigashu. Umavi echod b'echod is of course a phrase from kegavna in zoyhar that's many say Friday evening before baruchu one became one. Question. Yes. Quickly go over again the reference to the uh eishes chayil ateret baalah how that parallels this can you elaborate I'll stay that line. No no no I'll stay that line I can do that. I'm sure you went through it before I just it doesn't mean we understood it before. I'm just saying you need a couple of pictures. They're going to start giving tests here. So there's a gemara there's a gemara in maseches Shabbos. There's a gemara in maseches Shabbos where it's daf peh ches. It's a very famous gemara the gemara is discusses the posuk in Yisro vayisyatzvu betachtis hahar The Jewish people stood below the mountain. Grammatically it should say they stood near the mountain. neged hahar eitzel hahar Not tachas hahar not under the mountain below the mountain tachtis hahar. So the gemara famously brings about dimi says melamed shikof aleihem hakadosh baruchu k'gigis Hashem took the mountain and he placed it over their head like an overturned vat. Gigis is a vat a huge barrel. He places the mountain on their heads like a barrel. A barrel that's overturned. And he says v'im lav po take for us If you accept the Torah great and if not this will be your burial place. And that's why they accepted the Torah. Vayisyatzvu betachtis hahar they were under the mountain. So the choice was Torah or death. That's one way to get people to agree. An offer they can't refuse right. We'll make them an offer they can't refuse. Okay. So when people do the same today they take a mountain they put it over their children's head or anybody's head and they say if you accept good then if not you'll die. They could point to a gemara and say God did the same thing. Amar Rava Rava says mikahn modaa rabba loireisa From this ma'amar chazal we could learn that the whole Torah was forced down Jews. Modaa rabba means modaa means you moiseh modaa. If somebody coerces you to sell a mafia yosa they coerce you to sell your house and you have to do it because the alternative is the cemetery living in the cemetery rather than moving into a basement you moiseh modaa. You take two witnesses and you say by the way between you and I never wanted to do this and one day you could claim it in court. Mikahn modaa rabba loireisa from here we learn that the whole Torah was forced down their throat. It was coerced. They wouldn't have they wouldn't have necessarily not necessarily would have accepted it. It was forced upon them. But the gemara continues acher kibluha me'achashveirosh Times of Achashveirosh they finally accepted it willingly. That's why it says in the megillah. What does it say in the megillah? kimu v'kiblu aleihem So the gemara says kimu masha kiblu kvar What they once accepted they finally affirmed they said yes we agree. That's the end of the gemara. At first glance it's very strange. The whole thing is very strange. First of all you have the question of toisfus Jews already said on heisev and nasev and nishma. Why on vovsev and we put a mountain over their head when they already said yes? That's the big question that toisfus asks was unnecessary. Regardless of that even if it was necessary what's the point of forcing somebody into a relationship where they don't want to do and the only reason they're doing it is because you're threatening them by death. Imagine if matan Torah is compared to a chuppah to a marriage if somebody would propose this way. You take your girl and you put her under an elevator and you say if you say yes good and if not the elevator is coming down on you. Of course she'll say yes but you understand what that marriage is going to look like what type of relationship is going to look like. The bigger chiddush here is how long did it take from matan Torah till Purim? So the Jews had to go into Eretz Yisrael as we learned in the gemara they were 480 years before binyan Beis Hamikdash. And then the Beis Hamikdash was another 410 years and it was 480 years from yetzias Mitzrayim from matan Torah till the first Beis Hamikdash plus another 410 years till the churban Beis Hamikdash. Then 70 years later was Bavel. So you have 480 plus another 400 is 880 plus another 10 is 890 plus another 70 is 960 years almost a full millennium from matan Torah till Purim. A thousand years is a lot of time. All of Jewish history is 3300 years. A thousand years is a third of Jewish history till today. Matan Torah happened 3300 years ago. This is 960 years almost a full third of Jewish history was completely forced completely coerced. They weren't interested. You forced us into it. And Rava says therefore for a thousand years they had a good excuse. I'm not interested. You forced me. Don't hold me liable. There's something very strange about this. How do we understand this? How do we understand this? So this is something the meforshim struggle with a lot. We once spoke about it in another uh another ma'amar I think Sefer HaSichos has a whole different explanations about kafa aleihem k'gigis. Here I want to bring up one point as a prelude to explain at least partially than here with Yosef and Yehuda. So, what's really deeper? What's deeper? Is it deeper to find yourself in truth or is it deeper to lose yourself in truth? What's What's to be encouraged? What path is a greater path? So, as we've been explaining in the shiur Yosef is higher than Yehuda bizman hazeh. Or to put it in the eyes of the mind, ahava v'yirah is much more compelling than bittul. When I'm passionate about something, in other words, when I feel good about it. In other words, when I feel realized through it. When I feel that this is meaningful. I feel the growth that happens through it. You can't compare it to surrender. Surrender is about obedience. Surrender is about self-forgetfulness. Regardless of what you feel, this is the right thing to do. What we would call in our jargon kabbalas ol malchus shamayim. Accepting the yoke of the kingdom of heaven. A yoke means it's a yoke. If this is the yoke you have to carry, sometimes it gets very heavy and you say, "I want to throw off this yoke." This is I'm yoke. I'm accepting this yoke. Could you compare that to somebody who feels the tremendous growth of this work and therefore there's an inspiration, there's an enthusiasm, there's gusto, there's fire, there's passion, and there's umph. In self-realization and self-expression, there is fire. You're setting us up. towards You're going to turn it upside down. I got it. I got it. Okay. And it unleashes your deepest recesses. I am there. I am present. When you create a burden on me, you're telling me I don't care about you. It's not about you. It's about whatever. You're serving your God, your nation, your country, your family, your your company, your boss. Whatever the authority is, a good authority, a great authority, a horrible authority, but the point is the common denominator, even if it's a great authority, it's not you. You can't fully show up. You show up with your actions, you show up with what you have to do, but ultimately there's a yoke. There's difference between sameayach and doimem. Here I'm growing and here I'm silent. It's like you'll actually tell somebody, "Be quiet. I'm not asking for your opinion. Doimem, be quiet." That's the point. It's about surrender, not about voicing your emotions and your feelings. Yeah. As I said, take an example of a marriage. You don't need to go very far. Take What What if you can have a If there's two paths in a relationship, which one would you choose for yourself, which one would you choose for your loved ones? A marriage in which there is surrender, obedience, and self-forgetfulness constantly? Or a marriage in which there's so much self-expression and self-realization and self-discovery? Self-discovery. You have a partner who BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN YOU, who empowers you. I have a tooth therapist who deal with this all day. What? And a doctor who deals with the consequences when it doesn't work. So, I'm a little trapped here in an environment of uh a bunch of patients. Very good. Huh? my stomach hurts. This is the master. He He's the master today, yes. Guys, if a fellow is enough, uh So, so obviously, you have somebody who empowers you, who brings out the best in you, who brings out your tzemach, how could you compare? Now, again, every normal person understands you're not always growing. Every relationship requires surrender. You can have the fav- most favorite job in the world that you love with every fiber of your being. You're from those lucky people who go to the office or wherever you go to work with passion cuz you love what you're doing. But you all know that some days you're not in the mood. You're under the weather. And those days you're going to have to be in the mode of doimem, of surrender. My feelings are here, my feelings are here. No marriage, the best of the best can be blissful 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The famous expression, tainugt midi ain o tainugt. Any tainugt that's always consistent becomes not pleasurable anymore. There's ups and downs and there's fluctuations. Where is that from? The expression? I think it's the fact of life. It's the fact of life. Yes. But uh but so everyone understands Everybody understands that in the best of situations, the best relationship, there's moments that require surrender, self-forgetfulness. Nothing could be sustained that way because we're not saints and we don't always operate on a maximum level. YOU MAY NOT EVEN FEEL everything about yourself always. People get sick physically, people get sick emotionally, people get down. We all understand that. But when you talk about two modalities, two paths, one in which you feel completely empowered and expressed, and one that's about surrender, Yosef transcends Yehuda. And when you speak about avodas Hashem, one that empowers you, in which you feel the growth, and one in which you say it's about surrender, of course Yosef is higher than Yehuda. But suddenly here he says lo asid lavoi, it turns around. Yehuda becomes higher than Yosef. Why? Cuz he was always higher than Yosef. The difference is it was a secret. It couldn't be revealed. In a revealed way, Yosef had to be higher. It was a secret. It was bamachshava. SOF MAASEH BEMACHSHAVA. ERETZ IS NOT KADMA LESHAMAYIM. Earth precedes heaven. Inspiration precedes action. Eretz is the concrete lowly action. Shamayim is the vision, the spirit, the energy, the the the gusto behind it, the heavenliness behind it. IT PRECEDES EARTH. BUT REALLY really really on a deeper level, bamachshava eretz kadma leshamayim. Masculinity, femininity. Femininity throughout history is a recipient of masculinity, mekabel from THE MASHPIA. BUT REALLY, EISHES CHAYIL ateret baala. Really, the woman one day becomes the crown over her husband. As somebody once said, "With my wife, I always have the last two words, yes, dear." Eishes chayil ateret baala. The woman becomes the crown of the husband. That's malchus, that's Yehuda, that's earth, that's femininity, that's royalty versus Yosef, that's doimem, it's eretz versus Yosef who represents sameayach, zeir anpin, ahava v'yirah, middos hayesod, shamayim, ish mashpia. Mashpia. MASHPIA. MASHBIR, TZEMACH, CHAI versus Yehuda doimem. Yeah. So, where do we find this interpretation of eishes chayil ateret baala meaning that lo asid lavoi, in fact, it's the feminine force that will be preeminent? That's a big theme in the Baal Hatanya's Torah. It's rooted in kisvei Arizal very briefly. That isha is malchus and lo asid lavoi there's going to be aliyas hamalchus. I wanted to see this elaboration in You can email me. I'll send you the sources in kisvei Arizal. I would be fine with the I'll send you the sources. with the Baal Hatanya. Yeah, yeah, in a lot of places. A lot of places. Now, I want to quote again his words to remember the structure. He says sof maaseh bemachshavat chilah. Machshava is chesh ma, tachlis habittul which is chochma koach ma. There's chochma ila'ah which is koach ma. There's chochma tata'ah which is malchus. There's yirah ila'ah, there's yirah tata'ah. Yirah tata'ah is far lower than yirah ila'ah. But lo asid lavoi, we will see that the source of yirah tata'ah is higher than middos cuz it's rooted in yirah ila'ah because really bittul is higher than ahava v'yirah. And that's why in the haftarah, THE TWO TREES BECOME ONE AND THE AVDEI DAVID MELECH aleihem l'olam. In a world where you're separated, where you feel yourself separated from God, self-expression is far more inspiring than self-surrender. Because in self-expression, the I feels fully present. And in surrender, the I surrenders. And when the I surrenders, the I cannot be fully present. On the contrary, the message is, regardless of you, it's time to surrender. So, yes, we understand the value of it. There's no diet in the world that can happen without doimem. If you're always going to be inspired to eat the right things, you're not human. At least from my perspective. Right? There's going to be moments when you'll say Somebody once told me how did he quit smoking. For many years he used to tell himself, "Ich will nicht." Who wants nicotine? Who wants it? Who wants Who wants it? Ich will nicht. And he he was in a in a in a pa- empowered mood. I DON'T WANT. HOW long does he not want? A day, two days. At some point you get into a bad mood and YOU NEED A CIGARETTE, RIGHT? You need a cigarette. And suddenly YOU REALIZE I DO WANT. SO THE THEORY that compelled the quitting was gone. The whole motivation was I don't want. I do want so you smoke. He says after many attempts and many years and many problems he came to a new realization. I WILL YEAH. I WANT. DESPITE THE FACT that I want, I don't have to do what I want. So that changed him. That changed him. Why? It was real. I do want. Not today, I want in an hour, not in an hour, in three hours. If my entire commitment is based on how long I want, the moment I stop wanting it's gone. So everybody understands the value of discipline, the value of committing yourself to something despite your fluctuating emotions about it. And essentially that's what when you say what are you really saying? What are you really saying? You're saying there's a commitment that goes beyond my whims, beyond my emotions. SOMETIMES THERE'LL BE HARD DAYS. Sometimes there are rainy days. Granted. But by definition, by definition the eye is not fully present. The passion is not there. Is there a place for bitter for diamond of a father? But one sec. That's true in a world of separateness. In a world of separateness and self-actualization I find passion. You know why? Because I have not been ignored. But what about in a world where I can discover that my eye is not distinct from the divine eye. In a world where I discover my complete oneness with Hashem because ain't I the one the truth is that my very eye is an expression of the infinite light of God. Here self-expression does not become a necessity because myself is completely one with the truth. But in a world of separateness when I speak about obedience it could sound abusive because you don't know yourself yet. So I must nurture yourself and bring it to a place where then when I speak about surrender and transcendence it's far deeper than self-expression not because I appreciate that you're not here and I appreciate that I dominated you but because what is discovered is the seamless unity that then doesn't require self-expression because the self doesn't have to be expressed because the self is completely one with the source. It is. You want to finish the sentence or you just want to say it is? Then after you cough okay that's fine. It is is better. You don't have to finish the sentence. Come back to that's the story. It's not that Purim something happened. It's like for a thousand years this marriage was miserable and then after a thousand years the woman said you know what? I'll take you. You're not as bad as I thought after a thousand years I decided yet. First it's a whole different world. On Purim the Jewish people discovered the of God entering into a relationship with you without asking. On Purim they realized their oneness and because they realized their oneness they appreciated the beauty of entering into a relationship without the need for them to give consent because there's no separation. There's oneness. Let me give you an example. I'm looking for an example for this. It's in today's day when people speak so much about independence and self-confidence it's hard to find an example for a subtle idea. I'll give an example. I'm going to give an example. Let's say again it's a very really really very cynical world with a lot of leadership corruption. So it's going to be hard for people to relate to this but imagine a more idealistic space. Imagine you have a or somebody in your life that you trust with every fiber of your being. But it's not just an external trust because you were brought up that way, you were indoctrinated. It's a genuine trust that comes from a very very deep and authentic place. It comes not just because somebody told you or because the you were pressured into it but because of a genuine appreciation of who the person is. And you would do anything for this person just like they would do anything for you out of complete commitment that is based on unwavering love that touches you in your deepest place. A friend, a mentor, a teacher, a of that caliber of that and it's real. It's very very real. So I once heard from a something and I always thought because not so more than the story his reaction to the story. There's a I know has happened his name is Posner. He tells me a that happened to him. And this was in 1943. How many years later is it today? 73 years later. He told it to me last year or two years ago. More than seven decades later he has a glow on his face from the story. What's the The is he in the early 1940s there was a Jew known as the sixth ever whose son-in-law succeeded him after his passing in 1950 the most recent He called him in. He was a young young and he sent him on a particular on a particular mission I think to open a somewhere. Chicago maybe. I don't remember the details to open it. And he said he already arranged for him to go there. I didn't ask you before. You know why? Well I for my I consider you a limb of my body. You don't ever YOU DON'T GO TO YOUR HAND AND YOU SAY BY THE way my brain has an idea that you should you should go like this now. What do you think? And the hand says let me go reflect, I'll do some yoga, meditation, exercise, pilates, I'll go to therapy for things. I'll figure myself out and I'll decide if I want to be obedient to you or not obedient to you. It's not how it works. Why? Because the arm and the brain is the organism is one holistic reality. The central nervous system of the brain encompasses the ENTIRE BODY. IT'S ONE. The decision of the brain is the decision of the arm. The arm without the brain is a lifeless unfortunately a lifeless piece of flesh. And it happened once in life more than once that the all the limbs of the body came together and decided enough with the dictatorship of a little few inch piece of jello in my head that decides everything for me. With one my muscles are stronger THAN MY BRAIN. I'LL DESTROY the brain. Who is this little little idiot just because he inherited the from his father knows nothing. It's a enough. And the guy drilled up in his head and he took out the brain and he threw it in the garbage and he screamed free at last, free at last. But the end of the story was that they called the for his godly because there was no body left because the brain is not A DICTATOR. YOU ARE YOUR BRAIN. Your brain is you. Your brain represents your identity. Your brain is what gives you consciousness OF WHO YOU ARE. BUT IMAGINE A PERSON DOESN'T EXPERIENCE THE brain that way. ALL I HEAR ALL DAY IS DO THIS, DO THIS, DO THIS. Don't do this, DON'T DO THIS. THAT IS TO STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I AND THEN YOU REALIZE WHO DID YOU KILL? YOU KILLED YOURSELF. Your brain is not authority that dictates you. The brain is an expression of you. The brain is brings out who you are. It allows you to be alive. It allows you to have vitality. It allows you to BE WHO YOU ARE. IT ALLOWS the arm TO BE AN ARM AND THE FOOT TO BE A FOOT AND THE KIDNEY TO BE A KIDNEY AND THE HEART TO BE A HEART AND THE NOSE TO BE A NOSE AND MAXIMIZE THEIR POTENTIAL. So is surrender to the brain surrender or self-expression? So in our own organism thank God naturally most of us don't have these issues. Some people do and it's not So he looks at this boy and he says I consider you my my organ. I didn't ask you. I sent you. He looks at me and he says can somebody get a better compliment than this in life? I'm looking at him and I'm thinking, "Interesting." Another person would say, "EXCUSE ME, WHAT?" WHAT? NOW I'M LIVING FOR YOU? YOU decided something and I'm changing my life for him? Who is the greatest person in the world? He says, "Nothing in life could have come close to the hearing those words from the Rebbe." That he didn't have to consult me. Ah. What a compliment. What he sees in me. I'm part of him. He didn't have to consult me? Wow. When can you have such a person life? But now I ask you a question. Can you say this to anybody? Your therapist will say, "He's abusing you." You have to assert yourself. You have to say no. Who's right? Depends where you are in the world. Who's right? Depends where you are in the world. Sometimes every relationship between spouses, they're so close, yeah? They're so close. Okay, you have to be careful with this. Again, in today's world, you're not allowed to speak about this cuz everyone has to be independent and then and then and then cuz for sure that make a decision without me and then I'll bring you to court. And who do you think I am? And I'm a nobody but try to live with This is This is just a response to dysfunction. It In In an ideal world, sometimes you're so close, yeah? My decision for you is not abusive. If we're really really have that relationship, so it's my mission I'm not abusing my arm by telling you what to do. We're taco one. It's taco cool hot. God takes a mountain and he says, "I'm giving you tired of Kafal May Kigi Gus and my my daughter the whole thing was forced. Other people may have WAITED DOESN'T MEAN PULLING THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT? FROM NOW ON JUDAISM IS IS WITH VOLITION. TILL NOW, WE'RE WE'RE EXEMPT." ON PURIM, they realized on Purim they discovered the value of Kafal May Kigi Gus. What means they went they went they went couple of the fear? They were my couple of the fear. They realized that the fear represented the unity that they have with Hashem. You know, this Kafal May Kigi Gus doesn't mean I force you into the relationship. It means you and I are inseparable. You The Myral says this in his types in his language that Kafal May Kigi Gus meant to show that it's not like you can accept Torah and you could not accept Torah. It's a holy from a thesis. It's you'll tell me you could live with breathing and you could live without breathing. You could choose Yes, I mean, you could choose to You could choose to This is This is This is true to your system. I'm breathing. Oh, I'm not going to allow myself to be influenced by the air oxygen outside of me. Sorry. And generally this whole idea with food who came up with food? I'm going to be subservient to nutritious elements. I'm going to eat. I'm an independent person. So you choose not to eat anymore. You choose not to It would be a nice thing. It would be a You're denying your system. You're denying yourself. So Kafal May Kigi Gus means that on Purim they discovered that what we call forced from another paradigm is not forced. From another paradigm it really means that I cannot choose to be something that I'm not. How could I? I mean, I can decide theoretically that I'm a horse this morning. I'm a cow. Some people do that. Some people decide they're a behavior and they live that way. No question. But that's only a temporary decision of insanity. Ultimately you are who you are. So the more freedom, the more you're aware of who you are, the more freedom you have. Because the greatest freedom is to live the life of who you really are. The worst The most horrible thing is when a person doesn't know who they are and they're constantly groping in the dark trying to figure themselves out in the name of freedom. So what happens what people call freedom is really a form of slavery. Cuz I'm searching. I'm searching. I'm searching. I'm searching. And in that search I may be betraying myself again and again and again. The clarity of who I am allows me the freedom to be able to say, "Let me live who I am." And no, I don't have the choice not to be. I don't have the choice to be that which I'm not. I don't I am who I am. But that's the matter of emotional Buddhism. He gave us something a thousand years I was ahead of schedule a thousand years before we could realize. So for a thousand years he gave us a struggle couple of Kigi Gus that we were not up to it that time. Was that our concern? Was that that he gave it to us before? He wanted us to struggle to get to that matter. Was that It's a It's a process of discovery and realization cuz what happened on Purim? On Purim it made sense for them not to be Jewish. Because to be Jewish was a liability. Haman said may not have to have a notion. It was the first time that the law the extermination did not have to do with anything but the fact that you're Jewish. It wasn't territorial. It wasn't tribal. It was simply you were Jewish. As in our generation with Hitler. You must show my. Naturally the instinct would have been, "Who needs it?" For the whole year between the which came out missing till you dollar order you give a lot of when the Jews were in jeopardy for 11 full months literally with a pending law of pending edict of extermination may not have to have a notion. They suddenly discovered a new facet about their relationship with God. So when they celebrated the victory, they went back and they read the find their relationship I might have tied her. And they said, "Ah." They realized that the Kafal May Kigi Gus wasn't forced. It represented the intimate inseparable oneness between the two of us. Thus, in the process of avoid this Hashem, you have the same process. You would uh represents submission. Is submission inferior to passion or superior to passion? It's inferior to passion. That's only in the hierarchy of say the result of the hierarchy of the Michigan. Where you you say must be beyond you would uh Why? Because with this say may act there's more life, there's more vitality, there's more self-expression, there's more intimacy, there's more oneness. The MS is however that we saw the show us of you would uh the show us of them. When you look at obedience on the surface, it represents surrender of self. In the show us of it, it represents complete oneness. And because there's complete oneness, I don't need self-expression because self-expression I need if myself is detached and therefore myself has to be involved in the process so I should be able to feel good about it and I shouldn't feel that you are overwhelming me by you and therefore I need the I. SO IT'S A STUBBORN RESISTANCE to let GO OF THE I. BUT THAT'S A PATHETIC STATE because I have to carry the burden of existing. And that's the greatest burden. I have to exist. I have to tell my ego, "You exist. You exist. You exist. You won't die. You won't die." Which is a form of essential cosmic insecurity WHICH IS PART OF THE PROCESS. IN THE WORLD OF US AND LOVE AND HAVE IT BY a hot, IT'S NOT YOU WOULD have to become higher. Oh, now he'll flex his muscles. Suddenly we can appreciate the show us of you would uh we'll be able to see that the diamond even now in the show us COMES FROM KOYA MA KASHA MA IN WHICH THE words are not separate from the truth and because the words are not separate from the truth, you don't need self-expression in order to be able to be self-expressed because your eye and God's eye are really one. But I can't talk about that secret if I don't go through you say so. If you don't go through you say so, if you don't go through you say so, ultimately I deprive people from the ability to experience ever intimacy. Why? Because if the system of education is what? The system of education is I don't recognize you before you realize who you are. Ultimately what happens? You jump ahead of yourself and that you comes to haunt you and bite you because it's not been nurtured and it remains completely detached from the process. And then the obedience ultimately lacks something very very profound. So therefore the journey is you say so higher than you would uh and then you get to you would uh that's higher who's higher than you say so. Let's put it as cloud product of cloud that we spoke about in the mind of the show before the show show now. One of the 13 formulas of interpreting Torah is cloud product cloud. And in shots it's a very important subject. This cloud product product cloud cloud product cloud. Many are written in a way of cloud product cloud and we learn out how to deal with the different ways. It's a very fascinating subject. You need cloud product. It all comes from the spiritual idea. Everything begins with cloud. Cloud means oneness. Everything is part of the oneness of God. But existence is about differentiation prat. You are you and I am I. An undefined God created infinite diversity. And I live my life, you live your life, and I have my little issues and you have your little issues or big issues. This has to do with personality, chemistry, composition of your psyche, emotions, intellect, nature of your soul, your nurture, your upbringing, every person with their whole gestalt, everything you bring to this room or you don't bring to this room, you should bring to this room. Everything you come in with, everything that's happening in your heart that you know, and then a million times more that you don't know. And maybe one day, that's the prat. And we live in the world of prat. We live in that world of prat, the world of differentiation. Where if you come to me and you say, "Rabbi Jacobson, you should move tomorrow to Chicago and open a Yeshiva." Right? I say, "You could move to Chicago and open a Yeshiva." It doesn't work that way. Dictatorships work that way. But dictatorships are going to fail because their modus operandi is you don't exist, only I exist. Huh? We still have some dictatorships. They failed in the world, but in some places you still have dictatorship. Huh? It failed. It failed internally, but on the surface for another few years the the the cards, what is it called? The house of cards still stands. Right. Prat, you have to nurture the prat. You have to nurture the prat. When you're educating a child, take take a marriage, yeah? Take a marriage. You don't You don't start with that You don't You can't start a marriage by saying uh you're completely one, right? There's no you, you don't need self-expression, cuz who are you? You're completely one. What happens then? It happens, but it doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? Because you're failing the prat. You're not sublimating the prat. You're failing it. You're ignoring it. Are you introducing a higher vision? When you introduce a higher vision before you introduce a lower vision, it's translated as abuse. So why Even though in an ideal world it's very meaningful, it's translated as alienation, as disregard, as pain, and it creates trauma. So you have klal, then you have prat, and ultimately you have the new klal. But the second klal is not like the first klal. The second klal brings the prat back to the klal. It elevates the individual with the collective, the individual identity with the klal identity. In the world of prat, Yosef has to be higher than Yehuda. There is room for Yehuda there, extremely. This is what's called kabbalas ol malchus shamayim, surrender, discipline. In any life, as I said, is Yehuda. Without Yehuda, there's no success in anything. But the Yosef is higher than Yehuda. The Yosef Yosef has to be the king, and Yehuda must learn from Yosef. Yehuda gets his inspiration from Yosef. I need to inspire people. I need to teach people. I need to elevate people. I need to empower people. They should be ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THEMSELVES THEIR DEEPEST self in their full glory. AND TO SAY, "WHO ARE YOU?" THAT'S THE ONLY MODEL. THAT'S WHAT WE SAID TO MR. GARNISHED. RIGHT? IT COULD BE AIN'T NO MUFADOI. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. THIS PERSON IS not hearing no ain't no mufadoi. What this person hears is, "I hate your guts. You're a sick dictator, and I'm a nobody." That's what I heard. I didn't hear no ain't no mufadoi. That's what I heard, and that's what I processed. And therefore, forever, my selflessness will be tainted by a self that despises it. And whenever your selflessness is tainted by a self that despises it, you're not selfless, because your self is completely rebelling against it. And when your self rebels against it, you can't even be selfless, cuz self-less means that the self is less. Your self is not less, your self is just hiding, traumatized, and when it emerges, forget about it. There will be no relationship left. The prat must be elevated to the klal. When you have Yosef, when you have tzemach, that inspires the doyim, and the doyim receives from the tzemach, that's the mishkan. In the ultimate Beis Hamikdash, suddenly the doyim is elevated. In other words, that commitment of all those thousands of years that often Jews looked at and said, "What's the point?" When you wake up in the morning today in the world of Yosef, and you're not in the mood of learning, or you're not in the mood of a relationship, or you're not in the mood of davening, or not in the mood of a mitzvah, and you do it nonetheless, really it's doyim. On the surface, it's empty Judaism. It's robotic Judaism. Right? There's nothing there. In the shoidish, however, in the shoidish, however, it's the deepest form of a relationship. But in order TO APPRECIATE THAT ITSELF, you need Yosef. You need Yosef to enlighten what the depth of the doyim is, and then there comes the time when automatically Yehuda's true shoidish is revealed. When Yehuda's true shoidish is revealed, then of course the doyim is much deeper than the tzemach. Not because Yehuda flexed his muscles and he punched Yosef in the face, because the energy of self-transcendence is where there is complete oneness. And when there is complete oneness, then you and I become one. So my eye and God's eye completely merge into one. Which is why Matan Torah, the order was right. First they were kabalnei daas. Yeah. They were the Yosef. Yeah. And then they gave after, because that's the ultimate goal, to get to kabalnei daas. Right. Right. Put him The relationship became so powerful, they could look back and they say, "Ah! Ah! Wow! Thank you for not asking me." Thank you for not asking me. To ask me would have been such a powerful insult. It would have been such a such a powerful insult. Right? So uh So you know uh So let's say you you take a have a chossid and a rebbe that have that level of loyalty and level of trust, right? Um the greatest compliment for the chossid could be that his rebbe calls him in and he says, "I think that for the rest of your life you should go here and here." And he will celebrate that for the end till the end of his life. Which lechora'ah, what do you mean? First go to a counselor or go to a career counselor, you know what they do and they'll they'll examine you for 20 years and figure out all your issues and they'll decide maybe you're good at this and that. What's the compliment here? So on one level you could say, "Oh, if he's brainwashed, yeah, that's a compliment." You know, if the guru tells you. So that's in a cynical world, that's how we say it, right? But in an ideal world where these things exist, then let me tell you, with certain people they exist, even if it's not rampant, then he doesn't feel a greater privilege than this, that you didn't you didn't ask me. You didn't consult me. In other words, I discover I see myself in an extraordinarily uh deep and powerful way that I couldn't even with my own power I would have never attributed to me such elevation. Okay. So let's continue on. So that's the cutting down of What are we talking about? The cutting down of the cedar for marriage. Somebody once came to a rav and he said he wants a divorce. So the rav said, "Why?" He said, "I was looking for a BMW and I ended up with a Buick." So the rabbi says, "The problem is you were looking for a car, not for a wife." So this uh You remember that, too. So many people are looking for cars, they're not looking for spouses. A car is not a spouse. So there's a Torah from the Mesivta Maggid. I said it I think on Yud Kislev. The Maggid says as follows. It says by the Nevi'im in Melachim there's a pasuk. Vayehi kenagen hamenagen vatehi al love ruach Hashem. When the menagen started to be nagen vayehi kenagen hamenagen. Nagen comes from the word niggun. Song, ballad, melody. Vayehi kenagen hamenagen. When the menagen became nagen, in other words, when he started to sing, vatehi al ruach Hashem, music is conducive sing song and music is conducive for the divine spirit, vatehi al ruach Hashem. He asked, "What is the meaning vayehi kenagen hamenagen?" Vayehi kechaloiso lenagen when he started to sing I mean I not chaloiso means when he finished. Vayehi bechilo lenagen, when he started to sing What's vayehi kenagen hamenagen? Vayehi kasha niggun. What's kenagen hamenagen? So the Maggid says vatehi al ruach Hashem doesn't mean you sing a song. Kenagen hamenagen means that the menagen becomes a nagen. Nagen is an instrument for melody. It's an instrument of niggunah. When the menagen becomes a nagen when the singer becomes an instrument in terms of the terms of the fact that the instrument has no self-consciousness and the entire identity of the instrument is simply a conduit for the music to come through it and out of it but the heel of Ruach Hashem that's when the spirit of God can dwell on him. When the menagin, the human being who's a menagin morphs, it becomes a nagain, becomes the violin. Rebbe Yehuda Halevi said it in the poem Tzion Haloisishi al lishloim asirech one of the gems, one of the greatest gems of Jewish poetry. We say it on Tisha B'Av. Rebbe Yehuda Halevi says, "Ani ve'eisaich leim sheva shvusayich, ani kinor lishirayich." Which is then the song Yerushalayim Lion shall Zahav paraphrase Rebbe Yehuda Halevi but the source of Yehuda Halevi ani kinor lishirayich, I am a harp for your melodies. In other words, Yerushalayim is a shiyr and I am a harp on which the music of Yerushalayim plays itself out. It resonates through me. I am the kinor, the harp for the song of Yerushalayim. Ani kinor lishirayich. Today they sing l'chol shirayich ani kinor but the original Rebbe Yehuda Halevi which is of course um 12th century, 11th century Spain, is ani kinor lishirayich. Now, what does the magain mean? What does it mean vayhi chinagan hamenagan? So, let me share this with you. I once asked a grand great pianist who played in Carnegie Hall plays in Carnegie Hall what is the definition of success? How do you know you're successful? Sitting by the piano and you're playing, what do you call success? Standing ovation. For how long? For 10 seconds, for 60 seconds, for 3 minutes, what's success? He said something I didn't expect. He said, "Success is I'm in the middle of playing and I don't feel that I exist anymore. There's no I. I'm not playing. And therefore I'm not deliberating what's next cuz I'm not present. My fingers become the music. I become the music. I am just a conduit for a certain energy of music that works through me. It plays through me. Vayhi chinagan hamenagan. He was saying in other words, the menagin became a nagain. Any artist, this is true about speakers writers, all artists if they know what they're doing and they're in tuned with deeper deeper spots of the self know success means that you're not there. And therefore you're not thinking, "What do I say next? What do I write next? What do I play next?" That's all me versus the truth. Me in contrast to THE MESSAGE. I AM saying a message. I got to be entertaining, I got to be engaging. Sometimes I have to say something that makes sense. Usually it's better to say things that don't make sense cuz then people think you're intelligent. Right? That's why we do that over here in the shiyr as often as possible. But sometimes it has to make sense, they shouldn't think you're a wacko. You have to have the right symmetry between between today's day and age between humor and and substance cuz the attention span of most people is less than 12 seconds. So if you stick to one subject to 12 seconds, you lost them. They start texting. So these are all the laws, the laws of communication. And the same is true of the laws of writing. Playing an instrument, whether the piano or the cello or the violin or the harp or any other form of art. Painting, athletics, whatever the form, everything has its its art. But that's not success. That's success in the modality of self-consciousness. Real success is there's no I anymore. Does it happen often? It can't happen often unless you're in a different space. But when it happens, you know it immediately and you know it because you're not there to know it. And then what happens is there's almost no I. You become a complete conduit for the energy. And therefore you're not deliberating, you're not struggling. And what happens is the audience, they may not be so sensitive, so those who are sensitive know the difference. Even those who are not sensitive they know that there's a level of trust that they experience that they couldn't experience otherwise because the person communicating doesn't block the energy. He is completely or she is completely transparent. And because he or she completely transparent, they allow every person to connect to the truth directly, intimately without the barrier. Again to quote the Baal Shem Tov the pasuk says, Moshe Rabbeinu says, "Anochi oimed bein Hashem u'veaineichem l'hagid lachem es dvar Hashem." Moshe says, "I stand in Devarim. I stand between you and God to tell you the word of God." So the Baal Shem Tov says, "It's the anochi it's the sense of I that is oimed that stands between God and the people. L'hagid lachem es dvar Hashem. It's the sense of anochi, of ego, of I that stands, creates a partition, a mechitza, a hefsek, oimed beinichem u'veain Hashem that you don't allow people to experience because I insist that I am going to communicate the dvar Hashem. It's the anochi that's oimed bein Hashem u'veaineichem l'hagid lachem es dvar Hashem. Right? Again the Baal Shem Tov pasuk in Yirmiyahu, "Im yisoseir ish bamistarim v'anochi LO YE'ERENU UM HASHEM." CAN A MAN HIDE in the closet and I WON'T SEE HIM? I SEE EVERYTHING. Baal Shem Tov says, "Im yisoseir ish bamistarim v'anochi lo ye'erenu." If a person goes into the hiding I'm still there. I'm there. I don't v'eisaich gedol astureh b'seich astureh b'seich astureh. But if anochi if your ego takes over, ego is easing God out ego lo ye'erenu. I won't be able to see I'll be able to see you but you won't know that I can see you because you're not allowing the relationship. And then he said, "Im yisoseir ish BAMISTARIM V'ANOCHI LO YE'E NO ANOCHI, THEN YE'ERENU. THEN YE'ERENU. So Yaakov Avinu says in parshas Vayeitzei, what does he say? Uh v'anochi achain yesh Hashem bamokom hazeh v'anochi lo yadati. God is here and I didn't know. How did he know God is here? So the Vilna Gaon says, cuz the rocks are fighting with each other. And only in a shul can even rocks get into a fight. If God wasn't here you know, if you ever go to shul board meetings, you know they fight over the rocks. But the Pnei Menachem says achain yesh Hashem bamokom hazeh v'anochi lo yadati. You hear the problem? In Hebrew grammar you have a problem here. You don't say "God is here and I I don't know." Unless you're writing a poem. V'anochi yeah? Lo yeida. V'anochi lo yeidei or v'lo yadati. Achain yesh Hashem bamokom hazeh v'lo yadati. What's v'anochi lo yadati? The sense of anochi. Huh? The sense of anochi. V'anochi lo yadati. You know why God was here? Cuz there was no anochi. The anochi is lo yadati. Now somebody who hears this, if they're coming from a place where their entire life they heard "Your I is the worst thing in the world." In fact, your I is the source of all problems. Anybody got that message? The very fact that you have an opinion that is the devil. It doesn't even matter what your opinion is. As and you always the Yiddish the Yiddish expressions are the best. The Yiddish curses are the best. The Yiddish expressions are the best. There's no abuse like the abuse in Yiddish, right? Alle tzeiner zollen fun di aroisfallen, chutz fun deim vos iz tzu tvei. Right? All your teeth should fall out besides the one that hurts. You know what I mean? Besides in Yiddish or besides Yiddish you can't come up with such a curse. Zolst azoy zayn vi a laychter, hengen bay tog un brennen bay nacht. You should be like a candelabra. You hang during the day and you burn at night. Where do you get such Where do you get such wonderful expressions of love love and affection? So in Yiddish one of these very pedagogical instructive terms is ver bist du b'chol tzoch aveina de'ah. The people who grew up with Yiddish are laughing. Who are you b'chol tzoch to have an opinion? It's not what you say. You may say good things. Your your anochi doesn't exist. So when this person hears vayhi chinagan hamenagan he can't hear it. Cuz for him what does nagain hamenagan mean? You're a violin. Be quiet and stay in the closet till I'll take you out for a concert, for pictures. Cuz you're coming from a place of of deep pain. So self-transcendence really is translated as self-abuse. Okay? That's why I'll tell you very honestly, people who learn sifrei chassidus or sifrei mussar when they hear the word bittul, they do not know what it means cuz they translate it from a place of Nullification. And the book is just saying the same thing. Tzarich levatel tzarich levatel atzmo kol v'chol l'Hashem Yisbarach. What does he hear? My whole life I said I have to be mevater myself to my father, then to my rebbe, then to my principal, then to the big rebbe of the community, yeah? Then to my shviger, then to my wife, and now to God. IT'S ALL THE SAME THING. Then I didn't exist and I won't exist. So, without knowing it, what he's feeling is very negative energy. He can't say it to himself cuz he doesn't want to be deemed a heretic. But every time he sees the word bittul, he doesn't understand what it means. He doesn't understand what it means. Because for him anochi lo yadati, for Yaakov Avinu it was a celebration of life. For this pianist, it was THE CRESCENDO OF SUCCESS. TILL THAT POINT, he was playing little league. He was playing In the same way the way it's true in sports, the same is true in exercise. What's called success in exercise? When you don't realize you're exercising. Right? If you sit and why am I doing this? CUZ MY WIFE SAID IF YOU DON'T LOSE 40 lbs, don't come home. Ha ha ha. It's better than nothing. It's better than than eating cheesecake, no question. It's better than eating cheesecake and using the treadmill for your suits and towels. Come in they're going to give them a for summer. But you're not one with the music. You're not one with the energy. Right? You have some of these kids, you know, sports or these things, you get consumed in the process. Whatever I'm not now talking about the value of it, whether it's music or sports or art, but the point is by he can nagin amenagim. And the best example is always from biology. Mibsarai from the body. The best example is from the body. Uh A Yid once came over to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and he said "Wie filter zich?" It was an old Yiddish. "Wie filter zich?" In Yiddish again. Wie filter zich? You don't have a translation in English. What's wie filter zich? How do you feel yourself? So, without skipping a heartbeat, he says "As me filt zich, is shaynish gut." Wie filter zich? As me filt zich is shaynish gut. Why? He said the shver cuz he called his father-in-law. When you feel the limbs of your body, it means you're not perfectly healthy. Think about it. When do you start feeling your pinky? When do you start feeling your head? When it hurts. When you have a scratch on your pinky. When you have a black and blue mark on your on your arm, you feel it. When you have a headache, a splitting headache, you feel your head. What about if you're in perfect health, in perfect condition? And you have a great workout. After that, what do you feel? You feel nothing. Your body is light. Why? Because health means, spiritually speaking, that the body is a conduit for the soul. The more synchronization between the body and the soul, the more health. The more self-conscious the body is, the more it's detached FROM ITS OWN SOURCE OF LIFE. SO, you feel it. So, you say "No, if you're healthy, you feel yourself. You feel your head. You feel your head." No, no, no, no, no. If you feel your head, your head is not where it where it should be. If you feel your feet, your legs, it's not where it should be. You feel you You don't feel anything. Amachaia. And the less you feel, and when you mamesh feel nothing, you're in perfect condition, relatively speaking to a human being's perfect condition. Why? By he can nagin amenagim. Cuz the body is just a conduit for the for the flow, for the for the circulation, for the adrenaline, for the energy, for the soul. Kol haneshamah. And really, you know, a person who's by Hashem in that that health condition, you don't feel it. This is physically, but spiritually, psychologically, it's the same thing. The feeling of self is a burden. It means the self is detached from the real self, from the source of self. V'atihil of ruach Hashem. Now, I can't force this on me. I can't speak and say "Don't exist." Because then I exist even more. It's like telling people stop thinking. You ever do that? STOP THINKING. DON'T THINK about this. It's almost like in Chumash when you say we're going to skip this parsha. Right? And that's the parsha everybody reads most. It's like when you ban a book and it becomes a best seller on the black market. YOU TELL SOMEBODY "DON'T THINK. DON'T THINK." THEY THINK ABOUT IT BUT THEY THINK ABOUT it even more. The Kotzker Rebbe said something very poignant. He says As me tzubrech the taiva, vert fun ayn etzva. When you break a taiva, what you did is you made one into two. In other words, not only did you not accomplish anything, it's going to haunt you much more. Because you're not dealing with yourself. Tzubrech the taiva. You have to understand what's going on and you have to deal with it. It's a brechness. All you do is you turn it into two. It haunts you. It bites you even more. By he can nagin amenagim when the menagen becomes a nagin, v'atihil of ruach Hashem. Why? Cuz in that moment, the self doesn't have to be self-actualized. The pianist is not sitting "Oh, finally, my moment of fame." If you're experiencing your moment of fame, it's not your moment of fame. It's your moment of insecurity. Enjoy it, but it's not your moment of fame. You're not one with yourself. You're still in the mode where you're looking for the validation. When I'm not here, I'm not looking for validation. As long as the speaker is looking for the validation, for the approval, he's in a golus. He's in an exile. He blocks the energy so the dvar Hashem can't even come through him cuz it gets blocked. And those are the moments when he or she ceases to exist that miracles happen through them. And people hear things that they didn't even expect to say. Well, people always hear things they don't expect to say or you don't expect to people hear. But what happens now is things come through that you can't even be cognizant of. You can't. It's a different It's a whole different level of communication of energy. But you grow into this. You grow into this because I can't force this upon you cuz if I force it upon you, the taiva becomes two. The you BECOMES EVEN MORE. LOSE YOUR SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS RIGHT NOW. OKAY, LET'S DO THAT. Let's lose our self-consciousness. Exactly. Lose it. The more you lose it, the more you have it. Right? The more it disappears, the more you have it because it becomes even more powerful cuz it was repressed. It It was crushed. It was destroyed. You with me? So, who's greater, Yosef or Yehudah? Who's greater, Yosef or Yehudah? What's greater, tzamei'ach or doimem? That's Huh? Masha versus the divine So, that's the idea, yeah. That's That's That's the evolution here. In today's day and age, in terms of our relationship with God, Yosef is a higher madrega than Yehudah. There's a hierarchy. The ruchniyus precedes the the the tzamei'ach precedes the doimem. Not that doimem is insignificant. Doimem is very significant, as we said. No long-term relationship will be sustained without obedience, without discipline, without commitment. If you wait for inspiration to do whatever you want to do, if you're not going to wake up in the morning without inspiration, you will probably not wake up in the morning 90% of the time. There was a component of You got to do what you got to do. But it's not just temporal. It's not just in today's age versus the future. It's the evolution of a person over the course of his avodah. Exactly. Wonderful. Not just time, it's in terms of every person's individual evolution from a state of the Mishkan to a state of the Beis Hamikdash. Yes. I'm not 100% certain, Yosef. That's good. That everybody in this room, as they hear your words of his about hanagin amenagin, realize it applies to every one of them today and is accessible to them today. Not 24 hours a day, but everybody has places in their life where they are able to open themselves up to that experience if they believe it could happen today. I'm not sure if everybody in this room, you know, when they hear Rabbi Jacobson speaking about it, so certainly Rabbi Jacobson experiences. I don't know if they have it, but it's available to every one of them. Question. Question. Okay, you want to Should we take a vote? Does anybody believe this is Dr. Suskind says not everybody I'm I said I'm not sure. Right. In other words, it's not We're not talking here about The point is musical in genius artists. We're talking here in every field, every person in their own life in so many different areas is capable of that can nagin amenagim. Feel all right. Yes. Someone wrote about a 10,000 hour rule that the menagen is not is not again after he reaches a level where it's intuitive. Now, how can it be that I'm able to come on to that level when I haven't worked at it for assuming that that predicate is correct? Like that. Right. I think the 10,000 hour rule, the way I understand it is to perfect a skill. Whether it's basketball or painting or piano. So, when you're talking about perspective Right. But here we're not talking about we're talking about skill. In other the technical skill only through time, yeah. So, that I could have the perfect skill, but I'll never lose myself. I'm too afraid to lose myself. To lose yourself, you have to have a lot a lot of trust. A lot of trust in yourself, a lot of trust in God. Also a lot of trust in the people. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll tell you. I always tell people a lot you'll see this with people get up to speak. Their greatest mistake is not what they say. Their greatest mistake is what they look like the 4 seconds before they start talking. Always. They lose the trust of the audience before they open their mouth. Okay, once they open their mouth, the loss of trust is confirmed. And and everybody understands why their hunch was right. But the trust is not lost when they open their mouths and they say in this week's parsha, you know, there's a some safer. Uh That just confirms that uh he's not going to say anything. But uh I don't mean some safer, I mean the the one who misunderstood the some safer. But uh but it's it's the seconds before. Why? Because there's a certain it's a very subtle energy. Person gets up and feels confrontation with the audience or I'm going to prove a point or I'm going to control or I'm going to be good. They already lost. They don't allow emerging of energy. And therefore there can't be trust. And for for that to happen, there has to be a very deep confidence that they project and it's so they're so confident that they they can completely lose themselves in the process. And people are very sensitive to this energy. They don't even know themselves, but they could see it in the energy even in the gestures of the person. So, it's a really it's it's a it's a very profound idea. I once heard from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks. You know, the former Chief Rabbi of Britain. Who's a great he was a profound a profound man, profound mind. He said something very interesting. Lord Jonathan Sacks, yeah. Not to confuse with the Lords. Huh? Yeah. It's the British Lord. In Britain you could be a Lord. Huh? The House of Lords of Arda. So, I once heard from him it was just a very profound observation. He said that in 1968 he was a student in Cambridge University. He came to America and he visited 50 Jewish scholars. He was a curious young man and he had a great mind then as well. And he went to visit 50 Jewish personalities from all what we call denominations, from all schools. He got onto a Greyhound bus. Remember those? And for a few months he traveled and he went to interview them. And he described a few of the interesting encounters he had. So, I heard from him once that he went to visit the Labavitcher Rebbe and the appointment was approximately 2:30 a.m. 2:30 a.m. And he was in the room for 2 hours and they had a conversation. And uh So, there was one detail of the conversation that was very interesting that you know, he was he was a philosopher, secular trained philosopher. He still is he's that that field him and the rabbinate seemed to be like further than Mars Mars and Venus. In other words, men and women. But uh and at the end of the at the end of the conversation the Rebbe said that uh I think you ought to be a rabbi's rabbi. You ought to be a teacher of rabbis and this he said set the course of his life. But he I heard from him one thing once. He said that uh the conversation touched him very deeply. It really changed the course of his life. He became very very entrenched in Yiddishkeit. He went to Yeshiva. And he ultimately turned around his life cuz he was, you know, a real British philosopher and that's where he was going. He probably became a Jewish voice. So, he said that at some point he was reflecting on it and he he he couldn't articulate what happened in the room that was that was moving to him. It was an intelligent conversation, no question. Uh the Rebbe was quite well versed in the disciplines that he was versed in. And he was a quite a very a very intelligent person and a a scholar. But there was something that he said touched him very deeply and then he articulated it. And I'm going to quote him not verbatim but the concept. He said that uh he realized that during the entire conversation the Labavitcher Rebbe was not present. Now, when we say not present it means, you know, you're busy texting or you're busy thinking about supper. What he said he was not present is his sense of self was not present. He says most conversations you're talking to somebody even if they're good people they feel that they they need to reciprocate. They have to prove a point. I want to show you that I'm also intelligent. You'll ask me a question. I want to I want to flex my muscles even if for good purposes. I want to enlighten you, but there's there's you and I, there's I and thou. He said what happened in that room was he felt that the Rebbe had no need to be present. So, therefore he actually suspended himself and he felt that the Rebbe's objective for those 2 hours was, I quote him, to serve as a mirror for me. Meaning I should be able to look at him and see me through him. Allow me to see myself in a deeper way. His whole objective was this is meeting is not about me. This meeting is allow about this young man having the ability to be able to see himself in a new light. All I want to be is a conduit and a channel through which he should be able to experience himself in a deeper way. So, of course he'll answer questions and he'll respond, but the objective of it all is to be completely tuned in to the presence identity, journey, search, aspirations, dilemmas and ultimate potential of this person. And he says for a person for 2 hours to be able to become a mirror for somebody else you have to have a lot of confidence. But you also have to have a lot of selflessness. That's another form of I he. Can I gain? I mean I gain. And that's where unity is created. Now, do you lose yourself in that process? Of course you lose yourself in the process. Is it called loss? Is it called loss of self? It's not called loss of self, you know why? Cuz you don't need a self that you say if you don't have it you lost it. When we use the word loss, it's a loss. A loss means you had something and you lost it. Self-actualization is necessary when you have a self that you have to actualize. And when you don't, you get frustrated, you get annoyed, you get upset, you get angry. When my self is one with the truth I he can I gain I mean I gain but he love Ruach Hashem, self-actualization is not a necessity not because I hate myself but because my self became one with my ultimate self, with the ultimate I. The managin became a managin but he love Ruach Hashem. In Avodas Hashem this is the process of Yosef and Yehuda. There's a stage in history when Sameach is higher than Daimon. Daimon is submission. Surrender of self. Sameach self-growth, self-actualization. Sameach is higher than Daimon. There's a place for Daimon, but Daimon needs that Sameach, receives from Daimon, gets inspiration to fuel me even in the bad days. Famous words from the Chernobyl Rebbe, David Nachum Chernobyl. And more of a Marta Chazal say Rashi brings Lahazir Gedolim al Hakatanim. What does it mean? There's three mitzvahs where the Torah says that adults are obligated to uh warn the Katanim to do it. Not to eat blood, not to eat shrotsin and tumas Kohanim. Lahazir comes from the word Zohar, Zohar. Zohar means La shine light. Lahazir Gedolim al Hakatanim means you have days in which which are Gedolim and you have days that are Katanim. You have days in which you're mature and you have days when you're a baby. You have days when you're an adult and you have days when you're a crybaby. You have days when you feel empowered and you have days that you're needy and desperate and you you want mommy should just pick you up pat you on the back and say, you know, it's going to be all right, it's going to be all right. Somebody was in Costco and he sees this guy this guy holding a carriage a carrying a David David we're going to be home soon, we're going to be home soon, we're going to be home soon. He says, "Well, well, who's David?" This little baby says, "No, it's me." So, you know, he's talking to himself. We're going to be home soon. So, Lahazir Gedolim al Hakatanim means you have to take light from the days of Gedolim to illuminate the days of the days when you're in the of you have to take the light from the days when you're and say yeah, you know, right now this marriage is not blossoming. Let's put it frankly. Right now we're in a crisis. We don't know why we're married to each other. I'm I'm talking about marriage again. May not be relevant but we don't know why we're married. My mother was right. I don't know why I'm doing this but you know, 11 kids later maybe maybe it's worth to to experiment another way. What do you do? So you come home so what are you going to be obnoxious? You're going to be obnoxious. You're going to be you're not going to come home for 3 weeks. Well, how you have to take the days of you have to take hours a day. And you have to say, you know what? Now you got to push through. Now you got to push through. It's who's the man? Do you need do you need of course but we need your inspiration. is your is gorgeous. is beautiful. YOU LOOK AT AH INSPIRES people to optimal uh optimal performance and optimal inner performance. BUT THE TRUTH IS huh optimal experience. The truth is everything grows from the earth. In the in diamond is much much deeper. The surrender in is mine. It's the battle. The way it plays itself out in history may be lower, may be inferior. When everything emerges including God's killer when you become one with one then automatically and it's not that because is crushed. It's not at that moment WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. GET OUT. NO, NO, NO. If so, you can't say the two sticks are one. It went over to it went to no, once it goes to the it encompasses the But he can is not abuse. IT'S NOT CUT IT DOWN. WE DON'T WANT YOU. IT'S THAT THE YOU is a different type of you. I look at the first This class is brought to you by the Yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. 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