The Ultimate Protection - Rabbi Paysach Krohn

so i'm deeply grateful and just so totally honored to have been invited by the organizers of this wonderful wonderful kinos the shame shamayim they asked me not to mention their names for whatever reason and of course i honor that but i do want to thank shifi erlanger who was here someplace for her incredible travel arrangements it was not easy for her to arrange my very very tight schedule this is not the first time that i've had the great schools to speak at a kindest of schmidt saloshan in the nine days and usually when i speak i always call the organizers afterwards and i say you know were the people happy were there any comments good or otherwise and a couple years ago the organizer told me the strangest comment and he said you know i was i wasn't going to tell you this but some lady called me and said how could you bring a guy from america who shaves in the nine days so i just want to say from the outset that the din is if you're a mile now none of you are a merlin but i mean you know if somebody is a mile he's allowed to shave sunday i had two person monday i had another bris and i didn't shave yesterday there's one more thing that i would like to mention before we get into the speech for many many years more than two decades there was a woman who would always be part of this audience her name was fagi esther finkel now she was a great hidden sadiques her husband rabbitshak and mrs finkel for more than 20 years would gather clothing throughout america they would have containers and containers of clothes that was sent to eretz israel specifically in your shalayam and she would send three containers a year to people in here at israel she was going to come here tonight but two weeks ago she was here in ushalayam her husband had gone off to show friday night she heard a siren she became frantic she got so scared and eventually unfortunately she passed away so mrs finkel is not here tonight but we did want to mention her because this was such an important part of her life and that stucker that she gave was such an important part of your shalom in tanaka tells us that when david meller was about to go to war it tells us in shmuel bays that he was surrounded from all sides and so he called his general yayov decided that they would divide the army in two sections and then joyov had to give words of encouragement to the troops to those that were going to fight the war and listen to what he says the prosecution obeys pericured prostitute based be strong and let's all be strong together for the sake of our nation and for the sake of the cities of hashem by hashem yasayiv baen and then hashem will do what's good in his eyes to me it is absolutely incredible that this kinos comes out just right after pasha's mate when we said all over the world at a time when we're surrounded like was with enemies all around the world as rabbi reisman said and what are the words that we have to say to each other tonight the words that were said after kriya satora which are taken from yoyoff khazakh venezuela that's why we come here tonight to give ourselves to understand if we can what is going on and what is our role and how are we supposed to react you know they asked refrain sign they asked them to describe what's going on and he said something remarkable aposic in hazinu listen to this posik and you will see how exactly he touched up what's going on the possibility is dwarim bayes possibly in the outside to shakkel we are being bereaved by the sword soldiers never more than 50 have died already in the outside on the battlefront we are being bereaved because of the sword umekhadorim but indoors in the shelters in the private homes amor there is fear that possibly describes every single one of us on the warfront and on the home front but in a battle when you see a soldier fighting to the best of his ability it gives rizuk to everybody else in the troops because if he's doing his best we want to do his best so let me tell you something a magnificent madrish and pasmatos which will give us insight what our role is in these days the passage tells us that beno was choosing soldiers for the war the posse tells us in bamidbalam la mata el flamatta a thousand per shabbat a thousand per shavette the whole from every mata including levy everybody had to go to the army moisture habeno took lf a thousand lamata from each shavit and so therefore he took twelve thousand but the madras asks why does it say twice ella flamata alif lamata after all he only took a thousand from each a vet and the madras tells us something remarkable the madrid tells us that really he took two thousand from every shay vet elf he took a thousand to go to war but then the lotion of the majesty is she coulomb matimos every one of them had a twin not a physical twin but a counterpart and these youth-based elf my mata the second so there were 24 000 that were chosen 12 000 to fight the war on the front and 12 000 to daven and that's what we are all here tonight we are all part of that ella flamatta the soldiers they're fighting on the battlefield and we have to use our weapon and our weapon is philo and how do i know that our weapon is fila because the posse tells us when they killed bilam they killed him by sword arashi says who cares what's the difference how he was killed we got rid of bilam but rashi says no there's a deep lesson here you know why because what did billam do bilaam normally a going fights a battle with a sword but rashi says who bought israel he came on claude israel he took his weapon he changed it our weapon we get help through trilla that's our weapon he tried to take our weapon he wanted to curse us he wanted to use his mouth hashem said you know something you took our weapon we're going to take your weapon that's why they killed them and if that's the case the first thing that we have to know tonight is that every single one of us must davin as we have never done before because that's our role in this war we are the elepha and you know something the cover time tells us something that will bring together everything that we came here for tonight the comments claim gives a beautiful muscle and he says imagine that you have a beautiful lake and the water is clear and it's pristine and you want to get the water to the community so you need pipes like this you should go into every building every home but what if the pipes are dirty and filthy and corroded so you can have the most beautiful water and but as you bring it through the pipes it gets corroded by the time it gets to the people's house it's awful you can't drink it torah and trilo are our biggest weapons and it only is through the mouth you can only dive in with your mouth you learn with your mouth when you say the words but what happens if we are over and shmir salashan as we will speak in a moment if you use your mouth in a bad way it's like a corroded pipe it's like a filthy connection i said if then the tree is not pure anymore the torah is not pure anymore and so therefore that's why it is so important that we came tonight to talk about shmir salah because that's the only way that our thrillers are gonna get pure in a pure manito hashem i have a dear friend who's everybody's friend his sister is sitting in the audience tonight i was so happy that i saw her tonight because i told her i'm gonna quote her brother her brother's one of the biggest ballet reset in america rabbi benji uden a fellow new jersey and i told her avenger uden this marshall and he said oh wait i just started something and it's brilliant what he said he said why right after we davishimanesera we finish what are the first words we say alakai nitsar the shiny mera hachem helped me that i shouldn't say bear anything with my mouth what's it got to do with it but now it makes sense it's genius because we just finished davening we want it to go pure hashem please make sure that my pipes are clean it's not corroded now i have those words underlined in my sitter because what rabbi yuden said is terrific you davin you wanted to go to shamayim you have to make sure hashem please help me that i don't spoil it alakai naturally shiny may raw so tonight if we undertake to darwin properly as we'll see in a moment how we have to know that we can't spoil it we have to come to talk about smith in its various manners as we will so that we don't spoil that feel that's what it's all about so some of you certainly here are old enough to remember july 4th 1976. that was the day of the bicentennial of america 200 years old every bris that i did that day i gave the baby a red white and blue yarmulke loyal but you know what else happened on july 4th that year there was a plane that was hijacked from eretz israel and it was taken to uganda and it was taken to an airport called antebe and every year in eretz israel was paralyzed with fear because everybody knew somebody who knew somebody who was on that plane and idi amino was an insane leader had killed tens of thousands of his countrymen and he threatened to blow up the plane and so they decided that they're going to have a young trillion here in your shelian in those days in 1976 raphael schulevs was still alive and they decided they're going to have the m thriller in mir now the layout and mirror at the time was a big base madrish a little hallway and then a little apartment right behind the hallway where abhayam lived so everybody came to the basement rich one o'clock in the afternoon balabatim yoshivalai walks in from the back and he sees this unbelievable crowd and he is so overtaken by the pressure and the fear of the moment that he just sits down and he starts crying and everybody was quiet listening to him cry and then he got hold of himself and he walks down the center reilly walks up to the iron coating she kisses the iron kaidish he turns around to look at the crowd and once again he's overcome by the fright and the pressure of the moment and he begins crying now i have a dear friend his name is moish zucker zucker is a wonderful mechanic who teachers in ezra academy and he was in mir that day he learned in mir and he said said one sentence one sentence that's all he said and masuka tells me that after that sentence the tillam that was said was so strong that even till today all these years later he still gets the chills every time he thinks of that tillman you know what the sentence was davin as if it was your father or your mother or your brother or your sister on that plane that's how you're diving darvin as if the soldier on the front is your brother i have a son of ram zelik who teaches in waterbury he gives a basement here in waterbury two years ago he had a talmud and the talmud's family they moved to eretz israel and that boys now was on the front in waterbury it's a different dovenink in waterbury it's a totally different darkening because they're dabbling for their fellow fellow schoolmate obeismetrichover who was in that same basementation with them i have a sister leia dolinger's here tonight with her family she lives in ashdod you know what it is to hear in new york how many times she runs to the shelter or my brother-in-law's show was driving on the highway and all the sudden he's got to get out of the get out of the car and hide someplace when it's your sister that's in azd or your sister that it's an oscar or your mother's in stay wrote that's a different type of darkening that's how we have to darven you have to imagine that the guys who are going into the tunnel one of the guys wrote a letter to his mother shabbos he said mom we're going into the tunnels friday night i don't know if i'll ever see you again imagine that getting a letter from a child and how could he know that how could he know how can a novel ever see his mother because there's so many cat corners and catwalks and ins and outs in the tunnels to me when i dive and share malaysia and i have a different meaning for the tunnels from the dabs who haven't thought of that before me malcolm usually means from the depth of your heart but now think of one of your brothers or your cousin going into those tunnels you can imagine how those guys are diving in the tunnels that they should be able to get out that's how you dabbing that's how you have to think about it you know in 1809 france was having a war with the austrian empire some safer was in pressburg which was part of the austrian empire and it's amazing the war started their tests thomas that's the exact day the gaza war began tess thomas so if you take a look in the droshos hassam seifer khalid bayes he has a russia that he said to the community on restaurants the eighth day of thomas it's mamash like he was talking to us listen to what he says he says we know that the arrows are flying the bombs are gonna fly in presberg and if you want to be sure that the bombs and the grenades don't hit you and the arrows don't hurt you he says listen to apost possible their tongues are like drawn arrows or deadly spears myrma diber they speak falseness they lie they're deceitful they're not truthful the piv with their mouth shall i miss rayo yoda bear they speak peace with their friends over here by however in the inside of their house of their hearts yosem orbai their planning to do harm it's believe said seifer to the people in pressburg you want to be sure that those arrows are not going to fall on you undertake schmidt undertake that you're not going to say lies undertake that you're not going to be echoed tonight we have to make a kabbalah not only about davning we have to make a kabbalah that we're going to be more truthful that we're going to be more honest honest with our workers honest with our children honest with our students that's a lack of smear salation and that's what the posix says it's not the quran he's only quoting the possible their tongues are like deadly spears you want to make sure those spirits don't hurt you make sure that your deadly spear which is your mouth doesn't hurt anybody else so i want to tell you a story an amazing story that robertson county asked about what she wrote just incredible when she was a little girl she lived in maisha arden it was 1948 and the arabs were throwing pogazim they were throwing grenades and bombs all over your sheliam and rahman also i never knew this she had a little sister rifka and a bomb a grenade fell on the roof of the house where abalayasha lived it made a hole in the roof it fell on the bed that that little girl ripped up and she was killed so by trevor kaniewski had a little daughter of course at that time she was bachel yashev she had a little sister rifka nebuch that was lost in the war in 48. now dalyas have decided they're going to move out of mayashara so they decided they're going to move to an area called mishkanis but the only problem with living in michigan ice was that every makolet was not allowed to sell bread to a person unless unless they were registered the lyasha family was not registered in missionaries they were registered in mayor shahrim so who's going to maya shawarma to the marcola to get bread chef elias at that time she said she'll go so her zeder arya levine said i'm not letting you go alone i'll go with you and listen to this something else that we could absorb in our lives as they were walking she writes my zeta the whole time was saying the capital of yesheve yaheshev which is known as shir shall pigotim the shear that protects us from terrible things happening and he kept on saying it and saying it as they were walking and then suddenly they passed by a hospital and rabbi levine said shiva you go alone go to the store i have to go into the hospital she said zeta why are you leaving me alone and you're going into the hospital listen to what he said he said first of all i have to go be my vagina and even more than that there are many people never that died they're going to make a mass grave and they're going to put all these people on one grave and they're going to be so rushed they won't even write down who these people are i want to go and i want to write down the name of every man that died so his wife won't be in aguna could you imagine and then basheville writes that her father rabble yashev who was the mastermind every few minutes he would stop us learning and he would ask is sheva back yet is shiva back yet hashem she made it and everything was fine but i learned a great lesson here i learned the lesson that yahishev is a very important capital to say and we should be saying it every day as protection so when i read this story i started learning yeshiva i wanted to see what is in it that talks about being protected and i noticed possibilities i'm gonna command to protect you that's why it's called shisha pagoyim and when i heard this and i thought of this it reminded me of a great story that will have an effect on every single one of us there was a young woman in new york she was in her early 40s her husband needed a very serious operation they had had a number of children and the doctor said i cannot operate i'm afraid to operate on your husband because he has to have a full anesthetic obviously and i'm afraid it'll be too strong and he could die on the table i need a bigger authority than myself to rule whether he should have the operation he said to the young woman go find a higher authority than me of course what he meant was that she should find a bigger doctor she was thinking who is the biggest authority and then it occurred though you know something my husband who was a young man 20 years ago he learned about how much he feinstein that's the biggest authority i'm gonna go i'll ask grab my shop so the doctor calls her up and he says did you find a bigger higher authority and he's waiting for an answer which doctor from which university or which hospital she said yeah i found he says who which doctor she said well it's not a doctor it's a rabbi he said i don't believe it what do you mean a rabbi is going to rule whether i should make an operation a rabbi who has no medical background she said listen i trust him my husband studied in his school and i'm going to ask him he said do you mind if i go with you i can't believe this i've got to see this myself how a rabbi is going to rule whether a person should have an operation so she goes the doctor goes and her father goes and they go through that moisture's house in the lower east side and they tell him the whole situation right but she gives tremendous cover to this doctor and he's asking him all the questions about his illness and the danger of the operation and then ramesha is trying to remember who this fellow was she said he learned in the yeshiva 20 years before but he didn't keep up with ramayana so finally she says rosh yeshiva i have a picture of what he looked like when he was learning it first you shall i am so rasheed says please let me see the picture and he takes a look at the picture and suddenly he recognizes the boy and he starts crying and when he starts crying the doctor turns to the woman and said now i understand why he can make such a decision and listen to what rav maisha said ramaisha said he should have the operation but he should make a kabbalah that from now on he will always say brachus out loud so that people should say amen and he should have other people say barakas out loud so he will say amen and listen what ramaisha said it would sound like a khasirishireba he said amen the word malach angel a protective angel is equal 91 member aleph he said every time you say our main out loud you create a new malach and that malach will protect him and the man had the operation and he lived for another six years and maybe that's what we should undertake tonight from tonight on let us make sure we always tell our children to say brought us out loud let us begin from tonight on saying brought us out loud every time everybody in your family says amane you'll be able to create a mala and look at the malachim will protect you will protect our soldiers they'll protect all the people in earth israel we need to protect us so when i told this story over a few weeks ago somebody says to me do you know how old ramosha was when he passed away i said no i don't know he said 91. and i looked it up it really was 91. he was a malacha like him and then this past thursday night when i read this story about yahshua and bachelor kanyevsky you will never believe this do you know what capital yeshevisa is sadiq aleph 91 unbelievable so i haven't stopped telling this story so somebody says to me do you know what 91 is he says al of dallas and uk vote k is equal 91 both shames of hashem both the names of hashem and it goes on and on and on but it's incredible so tonight as part of our salah to make sure that our mouth is pure we must begin saying broke us out loud to say amane it'll create malachim it'll protect us that's what i'm saying is telling us your tongue is like a dagger but if you control that dagger and you use it for good things as ramesha said say on main and build the malachim then we'll be safe that's one of the cabela's that we have to make tonight now take a look now it gets amazing and yeshiva says you know what it says in sadiq alofosikay loisira meepak layla don't be afraid of the terror at night mikheitz yo your when those rockets and those arrows and those missiles are flying at night it can't just be a coincidence that some safer and ramesha are talking about peritonic aleph and the hait and it says in the past not only so we've spoken about davnik we've spoken about darting as if it's your relative that's there and we've spoken about our main but now let's listen to another possibility and that's going to introduce something else that we can do to protect ourselves the prosecution prosecute bays the abrasion says al-kapayim on your hands you will be elevated i'm a fortune say what does that mean al al-kapayim they will carry you the malachan will carry you on your palms sagan the helicopter you know that means your palms of stucco the tells us we all know the famous passage if we want to be saved from death from those falling rockets from the falling missiles we want the soldiers to be saved we've got to start getting stuck and i understand that obviously a lot of people can't give a lot of stuff it doesn't make a difference how much you give but you got to get stuck up and i want to tell you a zahiras and stucco that will surprise you many years ago in brooklyn there was the captivision cerebra a great sadiq from yeshua hesho and one day he comes to the 47th street district the diamond district and the secretary almost falls out of her chair she can't believe it she knows the boss it's the competition he's got a picture of the rebber hanging and now the rib is right in front of her she cools the butt she says i don't believe it she didn't say the guy on the wall but that's what she meant she said you know the rep is here the guy comes running out he can't believe it ripper rubble what are you doing here i saw you this morning by chakras what do you need from me why did you have to come and schlep from brooklyn all the way to manhattan the rebbe said it's ethical if i need you that i should come to you not that you should come to me rubber please please come in the office he sits down in the office he says rabbit please tell me why did you ever come whatever you want i'll do the reba said i need money i need money for a family reba just tell me how much i said i can't tell you how much you're the one giving stucco you have to decide the rebel says the father has no job the mother is not well they need a great deal of money for many bills that they have rabbit just tell me how should i make out the check the rev awaits for a moment and says make it out to your brother the man almost fainted and the rabbit taught him a lesson that we have to learn tonight you know most of us when we get stuck we get stuck at the famous organizations we'll get a plaque we'll get them in shabera maybe they'll make a dinner but you know something the real stucco that you're supposed to give first is to your family there are many of us here sitting here tonight that have sisters that are trying to marry off their children and they don't have the money or you have a brother who somehow just doesn't have the pranossa and he's got to pay for camp for a child the tuition for a child and most of us we feel why in the world would i give my sister or my brother first of all they'll probably complain at the amount that i gave and second i want to know how come i didn't give them until now but that's not the problem the problem is that you have to support your family members first listen to this you could look it up 3 24. there was a wealthy person haya mahalik islamiyim he gave money fitztaka and he would give it to the gabai vahoya he had a brother who was an oni and he had relatives that were poor omalayakum the khokham it's not stalker it's a orca it's something that you should be yelled at how dare you give a moisted when you have a brother who's starving or a sister who can't pay her bills maybe that stukka tatsumi mothers that we have to think about tonight is a different type of sucker that we've been giving till now let's think of those that are really close to us even the cousin that you can't stand if she's in poverty make sure she gets the money give it to her rob give it to her neighbor but that's where you have to give it that's the zahiros it's not only darwining it's not only saying amen out loud which is part of salatin but it's also giving stalker and giving stalker even to those that you don't think you're going to get the credit for it now you know the sam saif had taught us that prosecutor and that prosecutor spoke about the arrow that's deceitful the tongue that's deceitful and you know something i want someone to say for something so obvious but you know sometimes you need another talmud to point it out the only avaira in the entire torah that it tells you to keep far away from it far away with vashtaker keep far away from lying and being deceitful and you know something it is absolutely amazing rabbenu bakaya tells us ko hamasik anybody who holds on to being an honest person his thriller will be heard and listen to the riot that he brings we all want our villas to be heard during the war during any time we want our phyllis to be heard he says listen how he touches this busting we've said it ten thousand times in our lives hashem is close to all who call him the simple meaning is to all who call him honesty and sincerely but he has a different shot he says the hall to all those who can say to hashem please listen to me because i am a person of ms oh if you could say to hashem i'm a person of ms then quran hashem the whole korov and then he brings uriah that is absolutely mind-boggling he says in the first passage in the torah bereishis bharara al-akim asa maya the asaarets there is every single nakuda except one can anybody think quickly which nakuda is missing the comet's is there the pasak is there the terrain is there what's missing the shurok the u sound you know why he says shurok cannot exist he says in any shape or form in the first letter in the first plastic in the torah because that's the foundation of color terracula and then he says something that a lot of people say that the last letters are the first three words boracious borah and ella kim which is tough aleph and mem is ms oh if that's the case tonight we have to work on a different aspect of shmir salashan it's not only the vile comments that we make to somebody or about somebody it's becoming more truthful a teacher should never tell our students i'll give you the back the test on tuesday you're not even going to open the test until next thursday because your brother's getting married a kaplan should never say the apartment is going to be ready he hasn't even bought the land yet somebody just told me on the way here tonight all the couple on him are running to where all the rockets are falling in brene brock they never knew there's so much open land they told everybody there's no place to build now they see where there's a place to build it's incredible a father should never say to his child i'll give you a present if you dove and well and then he doesn't give that present i know a mother she told me this story it's amazing her daughter was november and the daughter said to mom could you write me a note it was monday morning that i learned the huma she said what are you talking about you didn't open your homish on shabbos you had your relatives your friends you did ma i'm going to get in trouble if i don't have the note she said i can't lie for you so listen sir the daughter says mom what happened to holland circus the month before in october we were traveling from new york to montreal we were going by the border patrol the guy said he asked you if you had any food you said no we were all sitting on it so she saw that her mother lied so therefore she was going to lie herself so as a parent or a grandparent or a great grandparent right mr sham for everybody you have to be a role model do you know now of course i'm going to say something which anybody below 20 doesn't have any idea what i'm talking about an unlisted number how many people here don't even know what an unlisted number is so anyway but it used to be that some people had a number that nobody knew rabbi sufficient had a number like that surabjyakov's wife was very sick and she needed an operation and he wanted a korap moisture for abraha and he kept on dialing and dialing and of course the whole world was calling raw moisture with shilas so he didn't he couldn't get through so one of the children said you have his unlisted number why don't you call him listen to what traviakov said he said they gave me this number only in case an emergency in claudia's trail so i should be able to reach our moisture right away the fact that my wife is sick is not an emergency in claudius it happens to be something that i need but i'm not allowed to use that number imagine that imagine that level of honesty rav segal was once traveling by train from manchester to london and he bought an economy ticket but there were a lot of people hoodlums making noise in economy so in the middle he and the talmud they went into the first class cabin now he was hoping that the conductor would come through and he would pay the difference but la maisa what happened was that the conductor had already come through so when they came to the main train station in london raf segal goes over to the manager to the guy behind the counter and he says you know i switched in the middle from economy to first class i want to pay the difference she said ha it's okay don't worry it's fine segal turns to the tom and says isn't it the bala boss he doesn't own the train he can't tell me i don't have to pay so he goes to one of the managers of the station and he says you know i switched in the middle and i went to the first class cabin so i want to pay the difference the manager was sony spoiled he took the money and he turns to the talmud and he says your rabbi is one in a million so let me tell you what happened with me i was once traveling the first time i was traveling to belgium to antwerp i loved going to antwerp and it was sabina airlines all over shalom and you know so they had this long line in economy and you know i was economy class and then there's nobody in first class and somebody the one of the clerks says anybody here first class i raised my hand he says you got a first class ticket i said sir you didn't ask that you asked if anybody's first class i am a first-class guy he didn't let me travel first class buddy let me get on the line but anyway so honesty is something that is wrong if we if we don't abide by honesty that's mirama that's what the possibility is telling us and just one more story about honesty which is really incredible the kazanish used to have a minion every day from one o'clock for mindra so one day rav granaman who was his brother-in-law i believe said to him you know we're supposed to dive in at one o'clock it's five to one and there's only seven people here if we wait till after one to get the minion i have an appointment with somebody somebody's coming to my house so what should i do should i dive in because you know wasn't going to take five minutes so listen what the haziness told them he said we won't have a minion now for minecraft we'll dive in later but coming late to an appointment is shakir imagine that any doctors in the house here tonight that they should hear that when they make a three o'clock appointment it doesn't mean three o'clock you get into the room with the magazines and 3 30 you get into the waiting room and four o'clock he sees you i have a dentist dr brigitta's not an advertisement for him but i'm just telling he's a wonderful guy when he says four o'clock you're sitting in that chair at four o'clock that's how it should be and you know something if you come late to an appointment forget about the doctor you as a patient that's checker because every especially if you're the first one of the day because then you throw off the schedule of everybody else and it's gazelles man you're wasting everybody's time down the line because you couldn't get your car pulled you know or whatever you have to do here in erc israel coming late to an appointment the shecker so these are all things that we have to be careful about how we talk to our children how we talk to our students how we talk to our spouses and how we talk to our co-workers that's also part of schmier solution not being deceitful you want to hear another thing that rap second says it's absolutely incredible raf segal says that if you notice that things are getting a little bit bitter in your life he says there's something that you have to check he says you have to check your keyboard ava aim why what's the connection he says something you could faint from this he says you know what simon and uradeja ki but aim is simmon reish mem raishman means wrong higher the way you're supposed to deal with your parents is on a higher rama but if hashem somebody and there are so many of us who have parents that are elderly and we lose patience because they're not the same the way they used to be and you say ma like what are you talking about can't you move a little faster when you'll be her age let's see how you move all together right and so we lose our patience so he says the rama simon reshma hospital could become a sim in memories which is bitter and especially people in the sandwich generation who have children that they're taking care of and elderly parents that they're taking care of have to be a little bit more careful so if things are turning a little bit sour in your life take a look at how you're talking to your parents why you still have them because sometimes we just lose our patience and we forget that one day we'll be there you know it's amazing yeah mia was not the first one to say that a tongue is a dagger you take a look and parsha's vairi when yaakov avinu is giving the brachas to all his sons he talks about yosef and he says the masters of arrows of hatred hated him he's calling his other sons masters of ballet hitem terrible terrible daggers how the brothers threw at him with their mouth and if that's the case again we have to be so careful and i want to say something that i said here many years ago and i'll tell you what happened afterwards i believe as a male i can tell you no grandparent ever should mix in about what the name of their grandchild should be ever i know all the young people want to clap but they're just afraid because the mother's sitting next to them you want to name a baby go out and have another one 9 o'clock parents should never mix in ever fine i said this here i don't know it was the early 90s i was here for the schmitt and i believe people that are old enough to have a baby are old enough to name the baby and they will figure out what the right name is that rizal says the parents get a certain rule so a lady writes me a letter i get back to new york and she says rabbi crone i was in eritrea's royal i was in erits israel and i heard you say about names and i think that you are totally wrong children should listen to parents and get their advice about what names they should give i called the lady back i said they could get their advice if they ask for it but if they if they don't ask you shouldn't give it well she disagreed with me a few years later this mother and her children such a fierce argument that the children sued her in court because of a financial difficulty that they had with each other that's how great the family relationship was that's part of schmier salashan a mother-in-law should not say to her daughter or daughter-in-law i don't know what your husband is i don't know how you married him you know he's not accomplishing anything mother-in-law's should not mix in to how their children are raising their children you had your chance if you failed that's your problem it's not your not the kid's problem and then wait a second daughters-in-law also should be very nice to their mothers-in-law that's very important there you go that's all part of smear salashan that's all part of very important family dynamics but you know something it's very very important not only to watch your tongue of not saying anything bad but you've got to watch your tongue so you always say something good i made up an expression recently if you see something good say something nice we forget to compliment people if you would compliment somebody who's working behind the counter or compliment a pilot i always go up to the pilot okay after 9 11 you can't get it up to the pilot so fast but always say hey listen he brought you up right i don't have to tell you what could happen today right he brings you down so you thank him why not i'll tell you a great story what does it mean to build people i have a friend his name is rabbi avraham mandelbaum he's in the nile in the fourth and fifth grade in a lakewood crater i think it's called urkhas khaim in the fourth and fifth grade they have 300 kids lianara so he told me he's a principal for those couple hundred children and any time a boy is sent out of class they bring him to rabbi mandelbaum he has to give a mustard he gives him a note sends him back to class and he always says he told me he always says to the boy don't forget you see i love you that's how he sends it back to class so he told me a couple weeks ago a little troublemaker who's always in the office he comes in and the rebbe has to give him musser and then he gives him a note and he sends him off back to class and the boy is standing outside the door so he opens the door he says uh zalman how come you're not going back to class the little boy looks up to the review and says rebby you forgot to tell me you love me that's what it means when you say something good i guarantee you this kid will never remember a word that he learned in the fourth or fifth grade but he'll always remember that the rebbe told him he loved him and that's part of shmir salashan smith means learning how to say good not only how not to say bad this is another very important lesson of shamir salashan and i'm constantly looking at my watch because i'm not going to be able to stay for the rest of the program i'm going back tonight with hashem so i'm sorry i'm not going to be able to spend some time with all of you afterwards but i just want to tell you what i have to tell you you know one of the things of shmir sallashan that we have to do is to prepare think about it think about those situations where you might say something that's inappropriate you know what ralph palmer says you wouldn't believe rajpal says you know what the most dangerous hour the most dangerous hour of rosh hashanah is on the way home from shul because people are talking hey this year the chasm wasn't so good oh he sang too long he sang too short or the god the guy who blew the schaefer you know he really blew it you know it wasn't uh you know it wasn't that great oh that guy spent so much money on mafta yeah we went to him to collect money for his ship he wouldn't give us a nickel of course he was giving it to his brother but besides that but the idea was when you go home from rosh hashanah right you spent all that time dabning and the bucket it becomes like a dirty pipe a corroded pipe on the way home you're being avatar all the good things that you said friday night at the table every father and every mother should prepare a vart or thought there's so many things you could hear today all kinds of torah in so many different ways it's not only the children that should say that rahmatus yo solomon says especially teachers many teachers make the shabbos table like a classroom and those kids are not dropouts they're pushouts so what if the kid didn't say that terri you say it you or your husband should say it teach them what departure is all about who should teach it your child should teach it to you you teach it to your child prepare it there's so much that you could learn during the week a man or a woman or if you're going in a carpool or if you're gonna go a day in the park with your children and you're going to meet other mothers all these things that you think about it in advance that's also part of schmidt salashan i just want to say one or two more things and then we'll end with a great thought you know the iron dome is called keep us barzel somebody told me something the other day it's just unbelievable it's all of you all of you the mothers and future mothers and grandmothers of claude israel that are protecting all of us with your trilla and your sincerity you know what barzel stands for it's the four mothers of claudius the four mothers of all the shvatim billah rahel zilpah and leia isn't that incredible that's barzel that's the women the great women of and i'll tell you another woman who would be very very happy tonight and that's esther hamalko because you know what esthar malcolm said gather all the jews together and why did she say that mufashim said because human had said there's a nation mafuza or they are separate they're argumentative they're not getting along and i'll tell you something a personal hagasha i was in zurich just a few weeks ago it was during the time when nobody knew what was happening with gilad ayala naftali and i'll never forget it was in the erika sure a place most of the guys are wearing shrimlach beckishas peas upturned hats and they're right before kabbalah shabbas the gaba got up and said we're going to daven now for the three boys now i guarantee you that five weeks before if any of those shrimlachidan would have seen naftali ayala and gilad maybe they would say somalika maybe they wouldn't certainly they would feel they're not like us through goat different parts of earth israel different parts of jelayim different parts of yeshiva different types of yeshiva but that fella that friday night was so incredible i literally started crying because all of a sudden we were all one everybody was darling like they've never done before and i believe the late shawling that hashem orchestrated those 18 days of actus when we were united let's now we know they lost their lives on the first day hashem didn't tell us that hashem didn't let us know that for 18 days you know why because hashem wanted to create an achtus a love for a fellow jews so that when the war happens we'll be dabbling now like the way we're supposed to darwin today the halogen garage and the helicopter ever and as far as sugar darling they pass skinned we're not going to have a benezema we're not shutting the yeshivas because we have to learn to protect those people could you imagine my humble opinion it never would have happened without those 18 days that's why hashem orchestrated it the way it was he built us he gave us that love for each other he gave us that octopus we're dumping like we've never darling before and maybe that's what why we're seeing so many incredible incredible nissan we don't even know all the nissan that's going to come out in the books and articles later right now we have a war to win and we have a lot to do with it our governing our speaking our encouraging other saying our main being truthful all these things we're the alaf lamata that's what we came here for tonight that's what the woman esther wanted us to do and so i just want to end just with this thing i always wondered why in asia's heil it doesn't say anything about a woman benching lyft if i were to ask you show me a picture of a jewish woman many people would draw a woman lighting candles friday night why doesn't it say anything about a woman lighting candles friday night and i think that it does say something on a deeper level we all know asia's kyle is with the olive base take a look at plastic tests deposit that begins with this sakura she senses that her enterprise is good at night her candle doesn't go out the simple meaning is that a woman a good jewish woman is diligent way into the night she works deep into the night to accomplish what she has to accomplish but i believe there's a deep upshot lila means when things are difficult life means when things are dark and you know something it's you the women stronger than any man that holds up that ammuna and that faith and telling your spouse and your family and your children it's going to be all right it's going to be good because we're darkening and you guys are learning i have a nephew i have a niece here tonight miriam cantor she told me her son is in tifra tiffany is very close to the border and this little he calls his mother he says mom i'm only calling you because i've keep it out of aim i don't want to leave the basement because i believe every day every hour every minute that i stand in the basement i'm protecting those soldiers i can hear them firing i can hear at night i can't sleep but i know when i'm in the basement i'm protecting them when you have a mother like that you have a son like that and it's you mothers all of you help that's what we came here for tonight that's why this kinos from women is so important not only because because you're the ones who really have that faith in hashem keep up the faith keep up your darling keep up you're saying our main keep up being truthful and give claudius for all the giza that we all need so we should be zaika to see meshiach in our time thank you for inviting me and thank you for listening you