The Struggle Podcast EP26- Naftali Horowitz – From Rock bottom to recovery

I couldn't I couldn't live anymore. You know that all this anxiety, this shame and guilt. Yeah. I came into recovery around 3 years ago. I went to beautiful rehab. You're going through a lot of struggles without drinking. Yeshiva. I didn't see the the light at the end of the tunnel. You don't see anything. You can't think. You do impulsive moves. You do stupid things. You need to take away your ego. And you need to start slowly getting into recovery. And it's a long process. You need to surrender fully. And it's very hard know sometimes you lose friends too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You lose. I lost a few friends. There is help out there. The problem the stigma people are afraid. They put everything under the rug. I got certified to do international interventions. >> What was your awakening? What was your rock bottom that you decided you know what enough is enough? >> Okay. Today we have the privilege to welcome someone who is sharing a story, a story of courage and determination. It's a tremendous story. Person who fell into alcohol addiction, the pain, the running away and the rebuilding brick by brick. His name is Navi Harowitz who will remind us that no matter how far you fall in, there's always a way back. Nuli, welcome to the struggle podcast. >> Thank you, Joe, uh, for bringing me on here. It's the first time I'm doing this and it's not easy, but I feel that uh, it needs to it needs to uh, go out there. Uh, so if I can help one guy, one person, one soul of this podcast, that's >> it was all worth it. >> It's all worth it. Yeah, it's tremendous courage and I want to thank you for coming because this is not easy. I can imagine this is not an easy thing for you but to come and to uh share and give of yourself and to make a difference in another person's life is a tremendous tremendous that people are looking for. >> Yeah. And that's that's you know we need to that's part of the service and that's what we need to do. >> Yeah. >> In recovery. >> This is your mission now in life. This is your right now. >> Exactly. >> Okay. So let's get into it. Um where did you grow up? I mean where do you come from? What's your background? My brand, my background is um I grew up in Williamsburg and uh normal home. went to yeshiva. >> Went to yeshiva. Went to went to yeshiva. >> Got married. >> Got married and got a business you know ups and downs and um yeah as life you're going through a lot of struggles you know grow up um you know without drinking yeshiva. >> Yeah >> know it's very it's very accessible these days >> right. I think it's a big problem. >> So, it started out with just here and there drink, you know, like everyone's starting out, >> right? >> And um and then then you become more dependable on that, >> right? >> You know, drinking more and more and then you then you can be functional for years if you know if you have a high building up you're building up a high tolerance, >> right? So you were drinking and you were still functioning with the business and was successful and you had children. You had full family. I >> have seven kids. >> Seven kids can. And um >> and the drinking was not in your way at that point in time. There was a a nice couple of years that you would say that the drinking was not in your way. >> Yeah. I always say the beginning when you drink it's a even you drink or use anything. In the beginning it's it's it's it's in the beginning you're happy >> right. It makes you feel good. >> Makes you feel good. And but in the end it's it's it's it's bitter >> point. How many years was this going on? At one point did you feel that this is getting out of control? >> I think after um 20 years drinking >> 20 years >> you were pushing it and would you say that uh you were in denial all these 20 years? I mean >> you know you know you know how it works. Yeah. You're drinking you know you drink more and more. You go to parties, you know, go to business events. Um, you know, it's always drinking, you know, >> there's always alcohol in the table. >> Always alcohol in Boston in our community, you know, more because any celebration is uh, >> you know, you got the four curses, you know, it's a mitzvah, you got to do it, you know. >> Yeah. Kesh the best one. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, it's always you always surrounded with a drink. Um so so when when I got a you know when it came a little older in the mid30s the high30s I I saw that I have a problem >> you know I >> Where did you see that? Did it affect your relationship with the Did where did it >> effects everything affect the business affects the relationship with the with the spouse affects the relationship with the kids. >> The kids sees everything you know they see what's going on in the home. They see what's going on when you drink. You think you don't see but >> right but they see everything. >> Kids, friends, everybody's observing everything. >> Did you tell yourself uh it's okay, it's nothing. Did you like the lies that you you were denying all the time? >> You're denying. You don't want to you know you don't want to you don't want to admit that you're you're an addict. You have addiction alcohol, you know, you're alcohol. You can't you can't live without it, >> right? What was a time in your life that you felt that this is uh this can't go on like this? >> Um couple years ago, you know, I had some uh you know, I saw that uh it's affecting my my everything was affecting my my I didn't feel good. You get sick. >> Yeah. >> You know, you can get you can get poisoning. You get sick. You drink and you start you wake up in the morning, you drink. It's always it's you need it. You know, you kind of, you know, you wake up, you have the jitters, you have the hangovers, you have the you have the headaches >> in the morning, and then you drink again in the morning. >> Then you need to drink again to get all the jitters, >> right? >> Because and you have anxiety, >> right? >> And then you drink and then you drink and you know, you don't feel good. >> How did your morning look like? You got up and you you needed to drink and the afternoon again drink. >> Yes, I got up because I had a you know, I was had a lot of anxiety, >> right? So before you even went out the door, you drank again. >> Before Yeah. Before anything, you you just take a, you know, a glass of vodka and orange juice and you put her in. >> Then you get, you know, you get calm, but you think you're calm, but you're not calm. You know, alcohol is gets you a lot of anxiety. >> Was there a time that you wanted help and uh you you you had an inkling and um you didn't know who to turn to? >> Um what are you goting alcohol? You got >> like whatever you you felt like your life is getting out of control. Well, there's a business running. I have a family running. >> The problem the addict say addiction. You don't want to you think you're smarter than everyone, >> right? >> And um you think, you know, the ego doesn't let you admit anything, you know, you don't want to surrender, >> right? >> So, I tried actually >> to reach out. >> I was afraid from AA. I was afraid from this rehab, from this wall. I don't you know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And um I tried just um cutting off alcohol around 12 13 months, >> right? >> It was very hard. >> You went cold turkey like >> cold turkey and I recommend everyone not to do it because you can die if you have a seizure. >> Amish. It's like >> you're not allowed. You're not allowed to do it. >> So a person would think to themselves, I can handle it myself. But you're saying no, you can't. >> You can't get off alcohol by yourself. >> It's very dangerous. It's it's danger. You can get a seizure. You can get off coke. you can get off any other lot of other stuff but but alcohol is it's it's dangerous >> because what's interesting is that um people are thinking that alcohol between all the other drugs they feel that alcohol is the least dangerous but what is your opinion >> because it's because because first of all it's legal and it's very accessible. >> Yeah. And um yeah, that's that's the same issue with marijuana right now, >> right? >> You know, it's it's became legal all over the place and it's danger. I'm getting phone calls every day, you know, as I do interventions. I getting phone calls every day from the community that um and I see it also for the youngsters, marijuana, it's killing them. They become sick, you know, they they get psychosis, they they get in psychotic. Let's talk about it because it's very important because since it is becoming legal just like alcohol and it is very dangerous and people don't know about it. This is one part that people don't know how dangerous marijuana is. Now um I don't know how it works but there are some people who are saying that uh it does not affect them. But there's a lot of people who the marijuana can flip you over to the point of psychosis and it can it's it's explain a little bit what you know about marijuana. Marijuana can get you psychosis and from psychosis you get schizoeffective. >> You hear voices in the head. >> Yeah. >> And if you don't take care of it, you become schizophrenia and it's a never- ending story. You're always going to need to live in a in a in a in a community home. >> You're not going to be able to take care of yourself. >> I mean, there is medication for skin. >> It's medication, but it's a lifetime struggle. >> It's a li So there's no reversing it is what you're saying. >> Reversing it. And that's that the marijuana is a big factor that you know that people become I see a lot of in the youngsters in the recovery and the rehabs. >> Yeah. >> Most youngsters are coming in it's it's marijuana. >> It's dangerous stuff. >> You know it's not even hard drugs. Plain marijuana. They they smoke weed when they and they gave him weed. Somebody gave them weed. >> Yeah. >> They think it's a joke. >> Now marijuana is addictive >> 100%. any substance any if you have addictive personality you like you like the effect produced by this particular >> act what you're doing >> yeah it's a it's it's a problem >> it's a problem >> wow so what you're saying is that um children I mean young people and even older people should know that marijuana is not a joke marijuana is not something that is uh you know recreation it's fun >> I think it's the most dangerous right now in the it's most dangerous marijuana. You you take it, you take more, you take more, you think it's, you know, and then you have a bad trip or it wakes up something, you know, you have >> Yeah. It wakes up a chemical in the head >> like like you have you have something like you have to like suppress trauma or any that you didn't have time to. You don't know how to take care of it yet. It might come up later, but the marijuana wakes you can wake it up. >> Mhm. >> And once it's in in marijuana is not going to help it. You don't have the the vessel to help it. You don't have the kylum for that. That's become psychotic. >> This is >> getting Yeah. become become crazy. >> This is not a joke. >> And I think nobody most of the people they don't know how to handle it. Think they think they're going to stop you know it's it's from one slap from one puff. >> Yeah. >> You can become sick loyal. >> And and why uh why are the youngsters why are they pushing it? Like why is it such a big joke in the community? Like >> because because it's easy, it's accessible. It's free. They seem like alcohol. Why are they pushing alcohol? You're going to Yeshivas. You're going all over the place right now. You know, I just got a phone call a couple couple days ago. Um, a girl in one of the camps. They found two boxes of wine on the little bed. Wine and whiskey, >> right? >> A young girl. >> Yeah. >> It's cool. >> And that's that's where it starts. >> Probably the B also. You know, it's all over the place. You know, it's it's a >> I remember when I was in yeshiva, you know, you have peer pressure. Everybody's drinking, you know, beer, wine. They starting with a low, you know, was not clear. >> And also, I think it has a lot to do with um social settings. You know, these young girls and boys, they go to and they go to places and somehow, and we're going to get to this later, somehow they did not work on themselves like on their self-esteem and on their to be healthy. And this um alcohol is taking the edge off. They can dance now. They can act. You know >> alcohol alcohol the minute you drink alcohol you become a new person. >> Yeah >> the anxiety is going off. >> You can become social you're talking become you become confident very confident. >> Yeah. >> You know you're on the show. >> Yeah. But in your experience that that uh that you had with alcohol and that did something for you. You know it took off the edge you know no anxiety. you know, you know, you were nervous about the business, you were nervous about this, and you still say that it's it's it's not fulfilling. >> It's a cloudy. It's it's it's not true. >> Yeah. It's not true. It's it's an illusion. That's what you're saying. >> Yeah. It's an illusion. >> It's a temporary fix, though. >> Temporary fix. Short short fix. It doesn't work. >> You have the anxiety doesn't go away. It's it's becoming worse the older you get. It's progressing. >> You know, it's it's it's it's not getting it's not getting any better. You need to work on yourself. >> You need to work on yourself to build up yourself to a point that you should know who you are and you should not eat anything on the outside. >> Whatever alcohol is doing, whatever weed is doing, whatever anything the dopamine, whatever coke is doing or whatever all other substance or you do heroin, all this stuff, you have everything in your body. >> Wow. You just have to find it. >> You have you have it. what alcohol is doing, what any other substance doing, it wakes up the parts that that the effects, it wakes it up, but you have it. You just need to do it. >> It's hard work. It's not easy, but it's a it's, you know, it's for free. >> It's for free. It's inside. The Bram gave it to you. It's just don't look for it on the outside. >> You can do breath work, you know. It's a free. >> Yeah. Wow. It's amazing stuff. um in your time of your addiction on your journey um did you feel that people around you saw your pain? Did they see what you're going through or did you feel alone? >> It's a good question. Um probably I see like for sure people see the pain you know if you have good friends you have a support system I believe you know they have a support system >> sure you can see but you can see how they see it >> but did they reach out but did your experience was that friends came out over and tells you >> yeah friends >> you're out of control do something about it >> yeah friends can come you know I think it's out of control you know you got to do something about it you Most of the time you don't want to hear about it. You're trying to deny it, >> right? >> But but you need to have a spiritual awakening. You need to become very you need to become very bad, >> right? >> In order you should get to that point. >> Nobody comes in in rehab. Nobody's doing recovery. Nobody comes with a limo, >> right? >> Right. >> You come, >> it has to do with the rock bottom. >> Yeah. Whatever rock bottom they have. >> Yeah. Everybody has a different rock bottom. >> You need to have the willingness to do it. Um >> what was your awakening? What was your rock bottom that you decided, you know what, enough is enough? >> I couldn't I couldn't live anymore. >> Mhm. >> You know, that's all this anxiety, the shame and guilt, you know, you know, you get older, you know, >> they say midlife crisis or something, but people ahead of it before. So, >> if you came to a point, you can you can handle it. You become you become uh literally addicted to the alcohol. You can't live without it. And and alcohol is very bad for you. >> Is is it a feeling of slavery? You felt like your mamm is a slave to the >> I didn't I didn't see the the the light at the end of the tunnel. >> You don't see anything. You can't think. You can't you can't make you do impulsive moves. You do stupid things. You hurt you hurt people in the >> you you have issues you know get into fights >> you know a lot of people you know I didn't have this issue you know a lot of people they do jail institution or that you know yeah >> they they get hospitalized they get they get um they get in with in the court system >> yeah they go through the whole system >> they go through the whole system till they finalized or they overdose >> and then they finalize they need to do what I went through a lot of things you know I couldn't you know had issues with my business >> right >> you have issues with customers you have issues with with family and friends >> and just a downward spiral so desperate and I had a few good friends I sat down with them and um they told me you know Nala you got to go help yourself you know all the way with you and um let's do it >> and I made a decision I surrendered Because without surrendering it doesn't work. >> No. Can you explain surrender? What that means? Surrender. >> Surrender mean you're surrendering. >> Surrender to the you give away your power. Surrender your own control. What is it? >> Basically you you you realize finally the first step the 12 steps you realize finally your life became unmanageable. >> Correct. >> And you can't do anything. Basically you tried >> you tried whiskey. You tried son blanc. You tried only beer. You try whatever substance everybody has. You're lowering. You try different places. You move away. It doesn't work. >> You're running the problems run with you. >> You're trying. You're trying any other know all this kind. It's a it doesn't work. You need to work for that. >> You need to surrender. You need to take away your ego. You know most, you know, we have ego. You have the character defects and you need to start slowly getting into recovery. And it's a long process. >> It takes a lot of courage to >> takes a lot of courage. You need to basically, you know, you're going to change your life. >> Everything you were taught from before, you had to switch around completely. >> 180. >> Wow. That is that is crazy stuff. Um, what is the hardest truth that you had to accept um about yourself when you surrendered? >> The hardest truth that I'm not in control. >> Yeah. >> You know, there is Hashem out there. >> Yeah. >> Literally, I'm not driving the bus anymore. >> Right. That's it. >> That's it. >> You're out of the driver's seat. >> Yeah. >> And this is in business. This is in personalwhere. >> Everywhere. It has nothing to do with >> every minute. You're not in control. >> Wow. >> You can manipulate powerful stuff, >> you know, manipulation, >> lying. You need >> to surrender fully. And it's very hard. And I see me people in my in my community, in my sober living that I have, you know, people come in for a month, you know, um two, three weeks, they feel good, they think they got it, you know. >> Yeah. >> And they go back out, you know, they think they don't need meetings, don't need anything. You're talking about surrender. Surrender. It's you also you need to you need to understand when you get into recovery, you need to it's going to be very hard for you. It's going to take a long time, >> right? >> Because you can go levels and levels and levels. It's unlimited, >> right? >> And thank God they have very good support system. I believe everyone who gets into recovery and some people they they sleep under the bridge and they have nobody. They need to have scholarship in the rehabs. and and some, you know, thank God I had a good support system that helped me get into the recovery and I and I and I I took advantage of it. >> Yeah. >> And I know I'm not going to how many times I can do it. You know, I want to do it one time. I want to get it to, you know, still sober one day at a time, but you need it's it's it's a lot of work, >> right? So the reason why a person leaves the rehab and he falls back is because he didn't do it 100. He didn't get the idea of surrendering 100% >> surrender. He didn't surrender >> all the way. >> You know he need to have the he needs to he needs first step. I can't do it. It's it's unmanageable. I I me I can't do it. >> Right. >> You need to have a higher power. >> Wow. >> And that higher power is going to help you. >> Wow. >> And you think this is the hardest part of recovery is to surrender. Always people get people get into rehab, they do the steps, they do a thing, but they always go back to the first thing, you know, you didn't surrender, you know, I remember I came in I came in the very beginning a couple years ago. I came in to uh my sponsor. I had like a older sponsor. He told me come to my home group, you know, it's it's so I came in there. It was like a fancy nice meeting in the morning like we had people that working, you know, say hello to me. this is my sponsor you know and people like like in the beginning I was like shy and people come to me somebody's telling me one day at a time somebody telling me in the in the airs surrender you know >> it was like crazy like people in 10 10 15 years in recovery >> surrender >> this is a lifetime a lifetime journey you know it's a lifetime journey but the feeling of surrender when you do surrender is that is this the greatest feeling in the They're still going to try to figure it out, you know, down the road, you know, how to to manipulate the surrendering till the surrender going to be like a white knuckle, you know. >> Right. Right. >> But it takes time till you get till it takes until it kicks in >> because by nature we are people who want to control a man. He's in charge. Right. >> Yeah. >> But this is the thing. This has to be >> that's the ego. >> That's the ego. You have to uproot it. >> Definitely the ego. >> Right. Can you describe the feeling uh when you were high? The the feeling when you had on the top of when you were on top of the you thought you were on top of the world. What is that feeling? >> Yeah, you're not here. Basically, you're feeling good. There's no pain. You feel that uh you know you feel you feel you feel you're you're confident. You know you're entitled, >> right? >> You got it. You understand everything. >> Yeah. It doesn't let you think, you know, >> right? >> So if it's a, you know, any any occasion anywhere, if it's a shabas in the morning, you know, you drink a couple glasses and you start talking, you know, nonsense. >> The goal is to to get that same feeling from an inner environment. >> Yeah. You can hide sobriety. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But in the books they say that 30 years the brain develops. They say when you get sober it takes like around 18 months. They say you don't make should not make any decisions >> before 18 months in sobriety. Any big any major life decisions you don't do because it takes time till the becomes normal. And um and it's that's how it goes. You don't make any any major decisions. the same motivation. You get sober, you know, somebody's 18, 17, 18, 19 year old, 22, ambitious, you know, you have it, you're not drinking that, you're not doing that, you know, you're not into it yet. >> You have this uh motivation to work, you he gets over, you're getting it back. >> You really go back to that time. >> Yeah. Now, when you were in recovery, um you know, inside outside the rehab, you're working on yourself every day, I imagine. You have to talk to yourself every day. The schedule, you know, I have a schedule, you know, also you got to be very, you know, recovery is very uh disciplined and consistent, >> right? So, you go to meetings >> and also be patient. >> Yeah, >> patience is it's one of the keys. >> Huge >> huge in the recovery and you got to be you got to keep you got to keep you got to keep your you got to keep your uh rhythm. You can't you know, don't take anything on if you can if you're going to quit. You can't be you can't be a quitter, >> right? If you if you do anything, do it all the way. >> And if you want to take on more stuff, go slowly and make sure you're staying there, >> right? >> Stay in the lane, >> right? So, what kept you from going back? So, let's say if you're in rehab and uh do you ever have thoughts like I'm out of here. I can't take it anymore. >> In rehab? >> Yeah. >> No. When I when I got in, I surrendered. >> You surrendered and you felt that that is the place for you. Yeah, >> that's the place I need to train. It was very hard. It was a air pis >> tough you know not being with family and um you know right now I'm looking back that was supposed to be no that from Hashem >> clearly saved uh my life but uh you have this become you know become you have the strength to do it you know you get into this mode >> let's do it you know we need to surrender let's dive in and I didn't have this um running away situation. >> What is one thing that you for sure know that you needed to let go from your life in order to recover? >> Any behavior that that that that I'm dependent on that >> right? If anything if you're dependent on anything that thing has got to go >> that's got to go. Yeah. >> You can't be you know addictions all we have a lot of kind of addictions >> right there food addictions also. you know, sex addiction, gambling addiction, >> right? >> You know, most people, you know, most of people they're drinking or they're using, they have a combination of addiction, >> a bunch of other addiction. So, you would say that >> addict, you know, is is going to try, you know, it's going from this addiction to that addiction, that addiction. >> If you don't go to the root of the problem, then you will the addictions will go one from each other. >> The root of the root of addiction is the mental health, you know, the things that you suppress, you know, >> right? What did recovery do to you? You know, how long uh are you in recovery now? >> Almost 3 years. >> Almost 3 years. But obviously, it did something for you that you wanted to come out and help other people. >> Yeah. I came into recovery around 3 years ago. I went to beautiful rehab. >> Yeah. >> I needed my phone, you know. >> Yeah. >> Why you need a phone? You need a phone? Because maybe somebody's going to call you. >> Yeah. >> It was very good. It was a 12step based recovery that I really liked it. Dived in 12 steps. >> Mental exercise. exercise for you. You know, resentment and the immense is unbelievable. >> Yeah. >> Believing in everything, honesty, hope. >> Yeah. >> Integrity. And I went to sober living, you know, afterare planning. >> Yeah. >> And uh I went to I needed need a nice sober living, but I came with a nice sober living was probably the nicest living in this in Delray Beach. private bedroom, toilet. I wasn't happy. You know, there two, three nice pool, two, three people live there, but I have nothing with them. There's no connection. >> You didn't feel like it, you feel like a family or like a belonging. >> This of addiction is connection >> and loneliness. Yeah. >> Yeah. It was lonely. You know, we used to go to Rabbi Kler, you know, he's very big in good friend of mine, Rabbi Kesler. He's doing shabas. He's doing Shabbat meals. He used to go he used to go a lot chavas to him. And um but living you know I I see that I saw a lot of people in the rehab you know there a lot of Jewish you know the community you know people people starting to come >> and I felt that uh I'm going to look into slowly I don't I didn't know what exactly I'm going to do but let's try so living >> so I did my research I had a lot of time that time, you know. >> Yeah, >> cuz really I didn't rush anything, you know. I took what took my time with my my schedule, the 12step meetings every day and >> I went for licensing. I did what I needed to do and I opened my first sober living. I rented a house >> and I went through an inspection um licensing inspection and took me a few months you know to get out there you know >> but that is in Florida >> in Florida. Yeah beach >> and um you know from there from there is history. >> Wow. And uh and and now you have um a sober living. And >> right now I have Yeah. Right now I start sober living and then I right now I have like around four houses. >> Wow. >> Over 20 beds. >> Yeah. >> I have a variety from single rooms, shading rooms, and then I again I didn't know exactly where I I still don't know where I'm going with it. I'm still, you know, I'm open. >> But in the meantime, you're helping people >> time. In the meantime, uh yeah, I uh I start sober living then. >> And this is Jewish. It's all based on >> any any Jewish soul. >> Any Jewish soul. So that mean Shabas is shabas. And is it is it going in that direction? >> We have we have um we have a nice amount of people. You have people that observing. You have people that not observing, >> but they have people they come in not observing. They're starting to put film. >> Wow. >> Takes time. It's recovery. >> Yeah. Yeah. And we have a beautiful shabas. >> Every shabas inontiff we had a minion. I u rab caster got me a safer >> from kabat was piser. I had people even have have people even from from New York City from they live in sober living. They don't have nothing and they flew down to flat to be onto there. >> Wow. surround to be in a Jewish community and and I just got somebody just donated to >> came last week. >> You're building a community over here. >> Yeah, it's a nice community and also we have a very we have a very good cook >> really good food. So you put them together a fivestar sober house for these people >> mission style >> you know you can you can check my Instagram account rack recovery >> it's called ralay rightlay recovery which is the sober houses now you take insurance you do all these things >> no there's no insurance for uh >> sober house sober houses >> so far is a cash is expensive proposition this thing >> it's uh yeah it's it's not you know it's >> it's costly to run >> it's costly to run and um you know it's it's a case by case also you You know there a lot of I start with sober living right now doing traditional housing I have to care for mental health >> right >> I do med management people come in they have they're sick they have you know schizophffective schizophrenia they don't know how to run their lives >> you know we have I have staff members and they take care of them there is coaching and there is there's a lot of aspects to this this uh sober living >> afterare program that >> I have and sometimes I have people that just come in, you know, they just come in for six, seven days. They want to get detoxed, you know, they had a bad run, they binging somewhere >> and they don't want to fully commit to a rehab to a rehab. They think they got it. They think they're going to get cleaned and they >> they go into detox. They come into me for a few weeks >> and then >> sometimes they come back and some people sometimes they get a a little awakening and they and they're smart and they they're going to try to they go to 12step meetings after that. >> Yeah. You you you uh you have the meetings in the sober house. We have officially we have a um Friday night we have official like it's it's we need you need every sub needs to have a 12step meeting >> right >> so the official meeting is Friday night with a meal you know I always have speakers um people come in to speak to the guys a lot of people sharing um >> you know it's a it's a nice community >> because what I understand is that you're saying is that you you're not just um renting out beds you I want to build a community of people to feel um they feel home and they they they belong someplace and everybody has each other's back. It's it's more of a a warm place than just like um you know like you experienced before. You got a bed and that's it. >> There's no connection. I didn't have any connection with no one. >> Wow. This was a random sober house. >> Yeah, it was one of the nicest sober house actually, you know, luxury style. Because I spoke to somebody who owns rehabs and he was saying that this is part of his problem. He's making progress with the people in the rehab and as soon as he lets them out, they go and they find the regular sober house on the street, they they fall back. It's it's >> they need the sober house. So important to have one foot outside, one foot inside, and then you integrate back into the community. >> Yeah. I always say um you know getting into rehab is is like ICU. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You go in, you go in, they stabilize you, >> they they detox 21, 30 days, you know, impatient program, >> right? >> They give you food, they do they do your laundry, they pamper you, >> right? >> But it's all a it's everything is FIC care means when you go out from 30-day impatient program, you're starting to do PHP. >> Yeah. >> Partial hospitalization program and then you do the outpatient program IOP. PHP is is outpatient basically sleep by me, >> right? and you go out from 9 to5 classes and oneonone therapy. That's the real work. >> But you find jobs back in the community going starting to go to meetings. You're outside. You have your phone. >> Of course, you get back on your feet. >> You find jobs. You have to work in this place. I mean, is there what's the rule? >> Very simple. Let me tell you something. If somebody is doing a 12step program, you're really surrendering and you stop lying and you you you run your life with with integrity. I promise you, you're going to find a job. >> Yeah. >> It's it's what you want. >> You believe in a high you believe in a higher power, >> right? It's going to get to you. >> It's going to get to you. >> Wow. Wow. Describe the life of of a person who is free of a person who before and after. How does a person who is who is a success in rehab success in a sober house and now he's a free person. How would you describe it with words? >> You know that's it's unbelievable. You know, if you if you do if you do a real >> if you do a if you do the program right, >> then you're a real free man because you don't have anxiety. >> Yeah. >> Because if you do if you work on yourself, if you believe Hashem, >> yeah, >> if you leave everything in Hashem, there's no anxiety. There's no fear. >> There's nothing bothering you. >> Nothing bothering you. And also, you need to work on yourself. You need to do action. What's your action? You do a fourth step. >> You work in your resentments. >> Yeah. >> You can't, you know, the resentments is is a it's a it's a lot of anxiety, >> right? >> If you if you have a whole list, this guy is bothering you. You need to let go. >> Yeah. You're living for another person. You have an image to to uphold. >> And also the principles. The principles. You need to live by the principles. You know, I have a story. I have I usually go I I go to a meeting Monday night. It's in a meeting um like a group of men. I go a lot of man men's meetings. I like it. >> Um and there's an owner of hurry up there. I know him and so you know they introduce yourself you know it's very everybody's very humble you know you know this is my friend Frank tell tell your story to Nali and he's starting to tell you like a long story I'll make it short you know anyway he got to know this guy he's looking this guy a couple years ago he's looking for an apartment he was a real estate broker he came to show this guy the apartment and this guy is telling him like Um, yeah, I'm a recovery, whatever. I need an apartment. I need a house. I want to buy a house. This guy telling to this real estate broker, Frank, come to meeting. Nah, but I mean, I'm addict, not just come, come sit with me. You know, we're doing business now. >> Yeah. >> He came and then he bought another house for his brother in recovery. And then he told him, "Come again to a meeting, you know, come out to eat with us. Anyway, he start going to meetings. He went to like the 20 meetings. He comes home to his wife. His wife's telling me, "Tell me, Frank, what's going on with you lately? Nothing. I don't know. You're present. You the kids something. Everything changed about you. You're like, you're glowing here. Spirituality, the honesty. Tell me what's going on. >> Nothing. I go to meetings. I start living my life with the principles." >> It's amazing stuff. The 12step program is is is next level. Now, the 12step program has a lot to do with spirituality. >> Yes. >> Allah. The first the first couple of steps >> first three steps >> is is is about and we you know as you know our community >> it's basically show it's like the you know straight up it's that it's it's that stuff. Yeah. >> So I just want to understand what is missing by us that um this is happening that we have to go and find out after you know that the people today the young people want to run away. What are we running away from? >> You're running away. You're running away from yourself. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You want to numb yourself. You feel you feel not worthy. >> Yeah. >> The self-esteem is gone. >> Yeah. You have shame, you have guilt, you have anxiety, you don't believe in anything. You start really you don't have you know, >> you start you don't you be you become numb. >> No empathy, no sympathy sometimes, you know, >> nothing >> nothing. >> Yeah. >> And um that's that's how it goes >> and that's what happens. So what happens is the pain from filling something or running away something people will turn to substance. >> You need Yeah. You need a rush. >> Yeah. >> Can use anything for rush. People fly every 5 minutes for rush. People run away from places for rush. >> Yeah. >> And people go to substance in drinking. It's very accessible these days. >> And the solution is something that is in your mind which doesn't cost any money. >> Nothing. You can connect to the then you become an individual and and and and we have to know this from the beginning. It's so important to teach to teach these kids kinds of That's that's that's life, you know. Life life life life is progressing, you know. That's how uh >> and sometimes people have to learn the hard way. >> You can you can get you can get to certain places only only if you go through that. >> If you go through a dark place first, >> you got to go through that. You know, you got to take you got to make sure every everything that is happening. You got to take a you know, you got to it's a gift and opportunity to move forward. What is your message for young people outside that are drinking, thinking this is a big joke and they're experimenting with marijuana and you know it's it's it is a gateway is what you're saying to other stuff. What is your message to them as a person with experience? You you were already there, you came back, you're sitting here now, you're dealing with this every day in your sober house. What should they know? >> Um I think people need to know there is hope. >> Mhm. There is hope and people don't know about it. There is there is you don't need to go through the whole system, the drinking, any other kind of addiction, anything to go all the way. There is help out there. >> Yeah. >> Problem the stigma. People are afraid. They put everything under the rug. >> Right. So when should a person know that um they should reach out for help? You know, when do they know that you're out of control? Drinks by a kidish. No. Is what's a big deal? basically got to educate the the the the parents, >> right? >> Because they think it's also, you know, they don't feel that they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't deserve it. >> If they know the danger, what's going to happen down the road, >> right? >> You become, you know, dependent any substance, >> right? >> You know, it's going to be but I what I believe is there is hope. You know, there is in my times >> Yeah. Yeah, >> when it was a when somebody was, you know, it was a was a a little off a little bit. >> You know, there's not too many. >> If you look at this time right now, this this this this kid probably is old right now. >> Nothing nothing happened better with him. He didn't get fixed. >> He's probably live in a basement somewhere. Nobody's looking at him. He's, you know, a lot of people died young from the choric pain they have. >> But you don't need to go through this struggle. There is help there. There's beautiful nice facilities. You go in for a couple months, you know, you have a life of 80, 90 years. >> Yeah. >> You take off. You take off couple months, you take off a year, it's nothing. >> Nothing's going to happen. >> Nothing's going to happen. Nobody's looking for you. You need to look for yourself. You need to have a relationship with yourself >> before you do anything. >> But >> you get into rehab. You get into you get into you get into the program. You can do you can have you can do there's a lot of programs there's very good mental health facilities these days in Florida even all over the place. >> Yeah. >> They can get you stabilized. You could be become a normal person >> much better than before because because you're getting all this coping skills, how to handle trauma and other stuff, whatever going on in your life >> and you you move on, you know, and then you have a therapist after that to maintain if you need another reset. I just met someone. >> He's staying here sober. >> Yeah. >> And he just went to mental health facility for 30 days. Ask him what's going on. I need a reset. You know, I'm sober. fine. But life hits me. My father passed away. My my my kid know they have issues >> and I forgot how to handle it. >> Wow. >> You get in for 30 40 days. If you need 2 months, it's it's worth it's the best thing ever >> to take care of yourself. Now I want to talk about interventions. Um well the regular person always an intervention is a couple of people get together family or friends and start attacking the person. In the meantime that person is not here. He's in his own world. He's on drugs. He is has a brain fog right now and he feels that everybody attacks him. What is intervention? Is there a way how to do it in a loving way? Is there a way how is there sometimes a place that you need to force him? There's place there's cases that people call the police. What what what is intervention? >> Intervention. Intervention, you know, anybody can do intervention, you know. >> Yeah. >> Like if you're going to whatever you have, if you sit down with your kid, it's intervention, you know. >> Correct. >> Depends. But is I I I got certified to do international interventions. >> Okay. What is that? >> And I go a few places. I was in Israel ready for intervention. >> Um I do interventions daily. There's a lot of type of interventions. You know the ultimate question is you know he needs to be willing to help himself you know >> that's number one >> but the idea of intervention is to u minimize the consequences >> dead jail and um hospitalization >> but how do you go about it are you like very tough blunt >> intervention is a whole but intervention there's a lot of you know there is there is you come into a family and you find out that you know there's always enable somebody unable to do all this stuff Right? >> You know, face you got to face first you got to got to you got to know who who's doing it, who's the problem here. And most of the times the the family is sicker than the addict himself also. >> That is that is something. >> Yeah. Because they're so sick they don't know what to do with them and they think by enabling him and giving this it's going to help and and and they understand better and then they and if he's telling if you're telling them something different they like they you know they're out of it, you know. They also have those they all dry drunk. They they they have this ego, >> right? >> They don't they don't want to listen what they say too much. >> They don't know how to deal. >> They also need to surrender, >> right? >> You're willing to listen. You know, if somebody wants to help you listen and if not, you know, they most most of the time they come back. >> After interventions, do you put a lot of people in uh rehabs? Is that what it is? >> I put a lot of people in rehab. Yeah. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. And then after 30 days impatient they come one of the houses of of Faraclay and um depends some mental health some is there's all kind of addictions you know >> and you evaluate them accordingly >> accordingly and um and then they do a outpatient program it's one is one part is PHP called PHP one is IOP and you know the beginning I was only doing so living right now doing interventions I do case management I do med management you know people take medication. Everybody's a different uh >> there's so many, you know, parts of uh >> in recovery. >> But um I'm working right now to opening um hopefully in November or December, I'm going to open a man only uh outpatient program in in Florida. >> Mhm. All your businesses now is in Florida. >> Florida. Yeah. And it's going to be it's going to be very good for the Jewish community because you know if a male in the Jewish community wants to go in a in a in a in in a male only facility >> right >> and it's going to be based on mental health a lot in process addiction like sex addiction gambling addiction >> and it's going to be substance use for sure too. >> Yeah. >> But it's going to be a beautiful nice program. Why why Florida the more New York is not a place for this >> you know you change a little you know it's always nice and sunny >> and it's you know it's called the sober capital >> most of the rehabs are there >> yeah yeah >> you have a lot of 12 steps every corner you have a room you can just get together and >> get some physic you know >> and and jobs I guess there's plenty jobs >> I tell you jobs it's going to come you just need to get better >> right >> you can't you can't you know you can't you can't you can't be future trapping what's going to be with your job you know >> right >> if you come in take off for four or five months do what I tell you to do >> just follow everything will come >> right now when you decided that you want to become better you decided you're going to make a change in your life um how did the people around you react like your friends and family you know they knew you from before and now you're making some serious changes how did that go >> they're very happy >> yeah very happy. >> They want to see you become better. >> A lot of people don't trust you because you got to gain the trust, >> right? >> Yeah. Because you pissed off a lot of people and you recover an addiction, >> right? >> You don't know what you're doing, >> right? >> But uh you know, if you really if you really work on yourself, if you really surrender to Hashem, >> Yeah. >> everything comes back. >> Yeah. >> The friends doesn't want to, you know, the friends they have is H is too, they're not going to come. You know, sometimes you lose friends too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. you lose. I lost a few friends >> because they they want the old you. >> They're very upset at me. >> Yeah. >> Some people want the older me and some people they're very uh upset at me. You know, they they >> upset because they had there was uh >> Yeah. They were upset before. Yeah. But why why I did it and you know why I suppose you know they can handle it basically, >> right? >> They have resentments, >> right? >> But it's not in my control, >> right? You that's the point of the surrender. Yeah. Nothing is in your control. >> This is me. I'm working on myself. Take me as I am. >> Was there a time that u in your uh in your journey of uh struggling that you felt that you don't see the you lost for a few minutes >> when an act of addiction? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You think you >> you think you're the you think you're the you think you're you're king. You think you're the me, >> right? >> Yeah. I don't know. So, >> yeah. Only you only only think for five minutes then it comes down. You get you get taper off. >> That's the worst thing you know. >> You find right away you get anxiety. >> Yeah. In your dark times when you felt like this is uh this is getting out of hand. Did you ever just naturally cry out to the bunch and ask the bunch please help me out of this? I I can't take this anymore. >> Yeah. >> You had those moments. >> Yeah. But right now I talk more to Hashem like from heart, you know. I do every day uh >> I do every day is bothers you. My my schedule my schedule right now I wake up early morning and um I go to AM meeting. I take my guys whoever I send out a message whoever wants to come. It's a 7:00 meeting >> then I walk six miles. >> How long is the meeting first of all though? How long does it take? 1 hour. You sit there everybody is you get everything off your chest. >> Yeah. It's a fellowship, you know, you know, >> and then you run. >> Then I I walk >> walk. >> Yeah. >> Six miles. >> Yeah. Which also helps you. It's healthy. It gives you uh >> you know that's dopamine. >> That's that gives you the dopamine, the goals and everything. It gives you it's all natural. >> Yeah. >> And I and I recommend people to do it. I tell all my guys to do it. >> It's mind, body, soul. This has to be it works together. You do you do exercise and then you right now I'm working I'm busy with the you know a little bit on the phone but I do a lot of meditation >> and then is bothered this also. >> Yeah. You talk to >> talk to Hashem. Oh this is the most powerful thing in the world. >> Talk to Hashem. >> This is like a drug if you know how to do it right. >> That's right. You just need to talk. It's fine. >> Yeah. You talk to Hashem >> and then you know then I think exercise you know. Yeah. You need to have everything like physical, emotional. >> Yeah. What about food? You guys are uh cooking healthy food. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Is it is it you put an emphasis on healthy eating? >> Yeah. Yeah. Most of my foods the food that we have in the in the Rockley community. It's uh good food. I recommend you should come check it out. >> Yeah. Wow. We have a chef and >> chef. It's a whole >> very healthy very healthy based. It's it's you know >> and there's a manager who runs the place in the house. Every house is a manager. >> Is it one of the people from who is recovering? >> Two people that I have as a staff member right now all coming from Rocklay. >> Wow. Unbelievable stuff now. Um what are you grateful for now after all this? Everything. >> Unbelievable. I'm grateful for everything. my life, my kids, for my family, for the work I the work I do. I'm grateful to meet you. >> Yeah. >> Grateful for everything. >> So what you're saying is the the meaning you know that we have to find meaning in everything in every in every obstacle and every struggle. What kind of meaning after after all uh what you went through and where you are right now and you know it seems like you're shining right now. You're a place where you want to be. you feel that you want to give back. Um, what meaning does this uh give you uh what you're doing? >> You know, it gives you a purpose. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You know, it's a never- ending story. You know, you need you still you got to keep uh >> got to keep growing. >> Growing to keep, you know, you can't get stuck. >> If you get stuck and if you get stuck, you fall back, >> right? >> So, you need to get you need to be consistent, disciplined, and keep going. >> Yeah. And helping people. >> And helping people. That's the very important thing. >> Yeah. >> Wake up in the morning, do something for someone, helps someone. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. How bad is the situation in our community as far as young people or middle-aged people or men or women? Is it is it a pandemic? >> I don't know. It's called pidemic, but it's a it's not good. >> It's not good. >> You get a lot of phone calls. I get a lot of phone calls and also I'm not that long in the in the business, >> right? But what you see so far is is not a good >> I see it's not a good people overdose left and right. >> Overdose and what is this intentionally or accidental? When somebody takes pills, if somebody takes any any any substance, deadly substance that he knows, street pills, he knows that something is going to if somebody's doing this, he knows that somebody can put in something, >> right? >> That mean even doesn't know he's going to die because they don't feel any die like he died from overdose. He doesn't care. >> What you're saying is he's playing with fire. >> He's playing with fire. He doesn't care. So if I understand what you're saying is that there is no such a thing as accidental or intentional. You are on a you're in a risk. >> If you engaging in a risky behavior, >> you know, you know, you know, you know you're engaging risky behavior. You know you can die. >> Sometimes you don't know. You know it's like going to die now, >> right? >> But you can die any minute. You can die and people don't >> pick people people do drugs right now. People do 2C, 2CB, 2C kamin all over the place. You know how many people coming right now for kamin? >> You don't know. You put something in or something, you don't know where you're buying it. You you don't know where you're getting it in. Let's say if you know >> you know your high order, you know where you're getting it. If you get out of it, it's if if middle of the night, you don't have anymore. >> Yeah. >> You're going to go anywhere. you you're an addict. You're going to go anywhere to get something and then you can die in a second. >> What you're saying is they're playing with their lives. >> 100%. >> And you see this a lot because you get the phone calls. The regular people don't uh >> No, you can see it right in the community. People dying, you know, they don't talk about it. >> They don't talk about it every day. There's overdose every day. >> Wow. That is crazy stuff. >> Yeah. Yesterday and they gone tomorrow. >> A lot of people become good. A lot of people, you know, I know people in recovery, you know, they got sober and they went out, they went back out cuz they want to try something and and they're gone. >> Yeah. >> Struggle. It's always struggle. >> Unbelievable. And the parents and the family, the the pain is >> gone. You know, here, you know, how many people, you know, Yeah. I'm listening to it's a lot of stories every day. >> Wow. What is uh a big surprise that you uh saw in rehab that you didn't expect when you came in? Was there any surprises that you were like didn't expect? >> I didn't know anything, you know. I didn't know what what's >> to expect. >> I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know anything. It's a total new that basically you're getting you're getting you're getting reborn. Basically >> reborn. >> Reborn. And uh how does a day in the rehab look like? What is the how does a day go by in a month if someone spends 30 days in the rehab? >> You have a full schedule. You go to sleep very early actually. >> 9 10:00 >> 9 10:00 you sleep. >> Mhm. >> You wake up 6 7 You have an option. You can go to the water. They always gives you an option, you know. >> Mhm. >> You go to the water, you go for a walk, you go on a park, you get out. >> Okay. >> And then you have a nice beautiful breakfast and then you start you have groups. You have processing groups, you have 12step groups, you have the every day is a different facilitator. Then you have case load with your the with your with your one-on-one therapist assigned and you have two three times a week case with with her client with he her and she him clients. >> Yeah. Um it's a full day, >> lots of meetings, lots of meetings, >> a lot of classes, coping skills, you know, a lot of talking, a lot of all kind of all kind of uh all kind of classes, >> opening up, >> opening up, mental health, substance, um a lot of processing groups. Unbelievable. And uh then you have lunch, then you have another few a few classes. And then you have dinner, >> then you play games, then you play ball. Every, you know, every app is different. You have a pool, you have a gym. >> Yeah. >> And then slowly, um, you get introduced to the bunch. >> You find yourself also the idea of going to rehab. You know, it's good to sit with yourself a couple hours a day just to reflect on yourself. What's going on here, >> right? >> Be able to feel your emotions and feel your feelings and get to get to know yourself. You don't know yourself before. No, >> you can go 20, 30 years, you will grow up the system, you go yes, >> have no idea drinking, you know, you're going through it goes fast >> and all of a sudden who I am, >> who are you? >> Right? And so basically, it is building your self-esteem. That's what it is. You come out of there and then you you you came you come out of >> different you're not going to build you're not going to get you know you're not going to get fixed from 30 days >> right 30 days is not a long time >> if somebody goes away after 30 days it's it's probably 100 over 100% relapse >> h are there people who sit more than 30 days like 2 months 3 months >> there is mental health facilities that I do a lot uh I you know if somebody has schizophrenia we do >> yeah but mental health facilities are not the same as a rehab right >> no it's the same Think >> it is >> no rehab rehab is a facility over there and then you got to help. >> It's not a psych a psychiatric hospital. >> It's nothing psychiatric rehab facility, mental health facility. It's there is beautiful programs out there. You come in, it's a it's a resort. It's a you were saying about schizophrenia. If someone has a >> Yeah. this that somebody has like schizophrenia or schizophffective or he needs like very like a lot of tense mental health needs stabilization I'm going to send them to one of the places that they have um 3 4 months um impatient program >> wow >> and you find that a lot a lot of people suffer >> yeah sure >> yeah and this is where is this coming from >> they come they come out beautiful they come to sober living they come to FDA planning >> but the the schizo effectiveness that you're talking about this is a result from taking the drugs or there are people who have this as a >> a lot of people a lot of people >> um develop develop it but when you do drugs or you do any substance it comes out very fast >> and you don't know how to treat it then it gets very like it goes from psychosis to schizopffective schizophrenia right and you can you can you know it's very hard you know it's very hard to take you know you got to take care of it >> right >> you Oh, people don't want to go then, you know, it's progressing and then when it comes when you can't handle it anymore, you're going in there. >> But, um, you know, people with regular schizophrenia like regular, you know, they got diagnosed when they were young as as any any um like any disorders. >> Yeah. >> They go there. Yeah. >> Wow. Now, how does someone, you know, a person uh hears what you're saying and they decide, you know what, I'm going to try to be honest with myself. I want to become a better person. I will check in. I like the idea of the surrender. I want to find myself. Um, but like you know, he he messed up before. How does he build trust again with his, you know, family, friends, and business? >> Action. You got to show action. You show that you changed. >> Yeah, we got you got to show it for a long time. >> Now, I I know part of the 12step program is to make amends. You have to go back and talk to these people. >> That's action. >> Is that the hardest part of the 12step program? >> That's action. Action is you you work in resentments and uh you work on your character defects six and seven. You get get humble. >> Yeah. >> Humble is very important. >> Yeah. And um then you make a list for you know then you work on the amens. That that is that is you know you don't need there is there's a there's a living immense you know you show who you are you show how you you know you show how >> you're not the same person like you were that's that's a living immense you know people see >> how does someone fight their uh thoughts urges cravings you know because you know this is we understand that this is a lifetime thing and we By nature we always want to go back >> only Hashem higher power >> talk to Hashem >> talk to Hashem pray >> pray tell Hashem put your d into my >> ask Hashem to to take away your obsession. Wow, that's powerful stuff because I can't do anything about it anyway. Powerless. I'm I'm going to get up in the morning and these thoughts are going to hit me again and the cravings are going to hit me again. Please, I cannot handle it myself. I'm giving it to you and help me just not fall. >> Yeah, >> that is powerful stuff. >> Yeah, >> that is surrender, right? >> Yeah. It works for everything. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's not for drinking. >> No, it's it's the it's the healthiest way to live. The healthiest way to live. >> You know, you learn every day. You have you have you know that's I tell you at night. Yeah. >> I wake up in the morning. I went to Davin whatever somebody's in recovery doing 12 steps. >> You helped someone. >> You took care of your your family. You have responsibility. You're working. >> Yeah. >> You know you come home. You have a whatever whoever whatever where you are in life. Somebody has a she somebody goes to a game. Somebody has you have a routine and you go you go to sleep at night. You make a check check check. You know I didn't I didn't I didn't you know I didn't bother anyone. I didn't I didn't piss anyone off. >> I was honest. I didn't lie to anyone. If you check off >> those boxes, >> there's no way you're going to drink >> again. >> You're holding yourself responsible is what you're saying. Like you said, this is the tool. This is the tool to use for triggers and for stress and a sponsor helps you feel that sponsorship is a a tremendous uh >> sponsor is very good you know >> because sometimes when you get triggered or you have the stress and you have a bad day and of course the first thing you want to do is go back to the addiction you pick up a phone and you talk >> sponsor is very good that's the model we have in Rocklay recovery you have you have a lot of people and uh and everybody knows each other and everybody has the other back you know if somebody has an issue they know where to reach Well, >> and have even people they left already. Rock, >> they still went back to live. They keep in contact with the with the, you know, with the with the guys in the community. Any favor, anything going on? You know, you need a need a ride there, you need to have a meeting, you want to go to the grocery store, anything you know, it's a the community is very important. >> Wow. Wow. Community connection. >> Connection is very important. And also if you're spiritual if you if you connect to the you also don't feel lonely you feel that has you you have the we have a relationship now with and whatever you went through it doesn't matter what it is was meant to be and I'm growing from from it and this is a stepping stone look what you're doing you're you're making a you're leaving a mark on the world you're changing people's lives that's what it is yeah it This is like you would never come to this place if you wouldn't go through what you went through. >> Exactly. >> Pay the price but uh >> it's hard you know sometimes you're thinking back but >> but now you can say thank you. >> No you move on. You you take the good you know you do good for that. >> Unbelievable stuff. So now what is the name of your place? >> The name of the place is Racklay. >> Racklay. R O C K L A Y. Racklay >> recovery. >> Racklay.com. and we'll put it in the link for people who see this and they feel that they they want to reach out. It's tremendous. Um all I can say I want to thank you for coming in. I want to thank you for your honesty and thank you for the for inspiring all of us and the courage that you took to come in and share your story so other people can see there's light by the end of the tunnel. It's not the end of the world. I went through what I went through but I picked myself up and um you should continue to bring light uh to the people. >> Same to you too and I just find out about you called me and I >> check out a few of you a few of your uh you did with you did with >> Gdalia. >> Yeah Pinson >> it's unbelie It's good stuff. >> It's good stuff trying to help people. We're all trying to help people. trying to say to make a little bit a little difference in the world and um the message the message the takeaway today is years boil claw >> there's hope >> there is hope >> wow >> and and you know and one more thing I want to big message is you're not going to have a quick fix >> right just like in business no quick fixing there's no shortcuts right >> I go ask Ibegan I boa yeah >> kamin any other it's it's okay there's no quick fix you need to work for it >> yeah but what you're saying is that even Iaska and all these things that people you call it substance you're doing it you're take you're doing something that something from an outer environment that didn't give you what you're saying is you have it in you >> you don't need anything else if your mindset is right you connect to just needed to do the next right thing. What's really >> your first instinct say to you that he can do it. >> Yeah. You have to trust your gut is what you're saying. >> Wow. Amazing stuff that should give you a gizent pan and all the good stuff. And thank you for coming and thank you for sharing your story. >> Thank you. Thank you for having me. Exam.