The Struggle Podcast EP23 Gedale Fenster - Breslov Self improvement

Remember, the essence of knowledge is to realize you know nothing. You're seeing a movie. It's halfway in. You didn't see the beginning. You didn't see the end. And you're saying, "What's what? This movie is terrible. There's a beginning. There's an end. There's a whole different there's a whole picture happening." >> Yeah. >> That you're not seeing. You know, obviously when I'm giving these classes, I really believe in what I'm teaching. I always call it wow. You can't worry about it. You can't obsess about it. And you can't uh withhold it. It was a very very tough process. And I don't I don't I don't know how how it how I was able to deal with it today. It's one of the tough it's beyond the one of the toughest things that a person will ever go through in his life is going through that >> to get to these places in life and to get to the lessons in life. And there's always a there's always a beautiful lesson in life once you struggle. They're saying struggle is terrible where I'm telling you no struggle is good. You're building a vessel. What is one thing that uh one of's teachings that you think everyone has to live by? >> We are honored to have here today on the podcast um a powerhouse. His name is Gdalia Fster. Gdalia Fster is a kadesh and I'll tell you why. He's a regular guy. He's not a Reb. He's not a rashiva but he's empowering tens and thousands of people including me. He's teaching the teachings of Aman and he is and he's mixing modern psychology with amuna with faith. Um he also has a daily morning podcast who is teaching a lot of people theis of this is a must listen. This is a must listen to everybody and to me it is like a cold plunge in the morning. He says after his butter this after doubling I have to listen to this and this is how I start my day. >> Amazing. >> Welcome to the struggle podcast. >> Amazing. I love the name. >> Yeah. Okay. >> You got to call it the struggle and the vessel. >> The vessel. Right. >> The struggle builds the vessel. >> Right. Correct. >> Beautiful. >> Um let's get right into it. Um you in your life you had plenty ups and downs when you were younger and the story goes that you found a book um you found a book that changed your life. >> Mhm. >> Tell us a little bit about that story. >> Right. So the that was like when I was 22 years old. I was going through a very very tough time uh living in Miami lost and I found a book called advice and which is called by Rabbi Nahmed >> and basically that that book I opened it up. Okay. So I was actually asking for advice. I was begging God for advice and it was just a lot of things was it was almost rock bottom and I asked God for advice and all of a sudden I went to some some like a small synagogue in somebody's house and all of a sudden I see a book called advice I opened up the book opened up the book and the book talked about how uh the root of poverty is sexual immorality and at that time I was dating unfortunately not not the most appropriate girls and I that that shocked me and then right away after that it spoke about the kunaali the the remedy for it and all of a sudden that that just became the day that my life changed and I was hooked on Rabbi Aman's teachings >> so so it resonated with you this idea that sexual impurity leads to poverty >> correct >> why did that click in your head why did you put this together as a young man and you figured there's something right about it >> it just something sometimes when you you I actually read it and I got the chills. It was not even just it was some it was a surreal moment of like wow how could that what does one thing have to do with the other because I was always always aggressively pursuing success and I was always running short you know opening up businesses succeeding failing gambling losing it's not like I always got to the top and then crashed >> so I'm like what's what what's going on something's happening >> something didn't make sense >> something something doesn't make sense in the vest something's wrong >> and I thought you know all kinds of other theories but once I realized that oh my god it had to do with the importance of the the appropriate you know a person's wealth comes from his wife his his sexual energy is very connected to wealth at the time I wasn't thinking about connecting to God or spiritually or that but that I didn't realize that that ended up becoming today that's the biggest connector to spirituality >> right explain this that the the the wealth comes through the wife >> right wealth comes from the the the the wealth wife and money have come from the same source which is comes from the nephesh. So when a person take when a man takes responsibility and he marries the right wife then by him giving he becomes a receiver of the wealth. >> So that's why to be single when you're when you're single you're really limited on on the shea you can receive. >> Um and god forbid if you're using your energy such as sexual energy the wrong way instead of giving you're only receiving. It could it could block the the the blessings from above. >> Right? So what I would like also to discuss is you mention it a lot um the non-negotiables you always say there's certain things that we have which is non-negotiable correct so if we want to tap into teachings really if we really want to understand what is really going on so I would want to stop with one I hear you say it a lot you mention it a lot is conquering the mornings get up in the morning if you're not going to get up in the morning get up 9:00 11:00 then the day is halfway's over why is that so important >> it's important because at night when we go to when we go to sleep at night. Raan tells us we're going to sleep and our problems are not solved. We're really going when you're going to sleep, you're really going into a form of bal surrender. So in the morning, the issue comes up right in the morning and that's when you need to deal with it. That's when you're you get a higher consciousness to deal with it so you can actually elevate it. So if all of a sudden we're avoiding the mornings, we're avoiding life. So the attitude you have in the morning is really really telling you are you are you avoiding life or are you trying to conquer it or you're trying to grow etc. So the mornings itself is an indication of how the day is going to go >> right >> and again energetically the mornings is was when you have the highest energy. So when if you if you neglect that we know that the afternoons have constricted energy. So you're just going into >> this is according to cababala >> cababala according to he calls it his his biness right >> extending the day. So he was also a very uh very on or getting up early in the morning with the nets dominating early. >> It's a it's a breast thing of of conquering the mornings and the mountain speaks about less than 60. >> That's really the key to length of days, >> right? >> Making the day longer, not shorter. >> And you also talk about um getting up midnight. You're getting up. You're talking a lot about now. Not everybody's on that level, right? >> But I I was trying to understand the the non-negotiables of how to break through. I mean that's a that's that's a that's already a elite top level to do that. >> Yeah. So what is that getting up in the morning >> getting is more of getting up 6 hours for example now it's 3:00 right >> so you you would get up at 3 4:00 and you would be able to recite the tikun and what that is is basically it's a it's we're crying out because tells us in a past life we could have been the cause of the of the beta mikdash being destroyed. >> So we're waking up to fix it. So imagine imagine you you you were in a past life. You d you you were part of the destruction of the temple. You were given talent. You were given gifts and you didn't use it. >> Now all of a sudden you're coming back in this world to fix it. So you're coming back and waking up >> to fix it. Right. >> And so waking up in dark in the in the night represents again same thing facing the darkness facing not not avoiding which is the biggest cause really of lack of faith is avoiding life etc. There's also something about breaking your sleep which is like a tava to sleep and you go against your grain by waking up in the middle of the night and connecting that's when you see like a person can see she like that can ask for whatever he wants at that time >> sleep is 160th of death so too much sleep >> is is already it can hurt you >> you know and so you need obviously we need accurate amount of sleeps but but the The rule is always sleep earlier and get up earlier versus sleep late and get up late. That's usually the recipe for for for it's very hard to grow spiritually when you're sleeping late and waking up late. Of course, you a person goes to a party, person has fences, >> but the majority should be taking advantage of that schedule, >> right? But it is important to go to sleep early also. That's why to get up. You can't just uh >> listen, the best quarterback in the world, Tom Brady, these guys are going to sleep at 9:00. They're not hanging out at 12:00, you know, on on PlayStation, >> right? >> It's, you know, there's certain hours you have to turn to. You There's certain hours to peak. There's certain hours for peak performance in life. >> Right. Now, talking about getting up in the morning, uh, according to that, his brother does is supposed to be done in the morning. Correct. >> And and in a place where it's quiet and free from the world. So, whatever is in your your time where you're able to have Yeshua, which is a settled line, >> right? Correct. Now, what is your routine? Uh I know people go into the woods and some people uh how do you do it and and is there a special uh way how to do it like a three-step or whatever, >> right? So, my my routine I have a I have a think I have a house with a lake. So, I I go I go outside and I I'll do it. It's enough. It's enough. It's quiet. It's it's an area where you can remember the whole point is >> um consistency over intensity. It's more important to have consistency because the more consistent you are the more you're able to develop a good habit versus having intense experiences and never do them doing them. >> So you want to have a place where where it's consistent etc. So again what I would do what I do is I wake up early obviously and I I I receive tunat I do my morning stretch cold plunge etc and then I'll go into um a three-step um where it's basically um GI I would say gratitude first you know gratitude intention and appreciation so I'll go into gratitude first and then I'll go into some kind of uh accounting of what happened yesterday reviewing fixing what what could I have done wrong what could have fixed etc. And then I'll go into a a per personal prayer about what's happening in my life, where I'm at, praying for other people, etc. >> Yeah. And you're doing this for how many years now? >> I've been doing it for I don't know 15 years, 14 years. Yeah. >> And how long is a is a does that take? >> From 30 to an hour depending on on where I'm at. >> Wow. >> More problems, longer, less problems, shorter. >> Right. And then you go to Dennis Nets. >> Then I go then I'll go to Davin Nets. Yeah. Yeah. And then you go to the gym. >> And then I'll go to the gym. >> When is the gym? >> I'll go to the gym right after because it's too much. No, I'll give my I'll go to I'll pray and then I'll give my class. >> Class, right? >> Then I'll go to the gym cuz then I it's too much light. I have to I need a break, >> right? >> So then I'll go to the gym, then I'll go to work. >> Now a gym is non-negotiable. What does that gym is non-negotiable? >> What does that do for you at the gym? >> It gives you 4 hours of endorphins of anti-depressants and 5 hours of focus. >> Right. >> So, and it helps for the business. That helps forever. >> It's just everything's energy. Everything's energy. The energy, you know, if you're coming in with the right energy, things look completely different. If you're coming in with the wrong energy, things look the same. I mean, you could be in the same situation with the right energy and look at it completely different. I can walk in with great energy. Oh, this thing happened. Wonderful. It's just a test. I could be in a bad mood. Oh, this has happened. Screaming at this employee, screaming at that employee, screaming at that employee. So, it's really really the the, you know, your energy that you bring to everything. >> Right. Right. But you don't miss a day in the gym. >> No, >> no, >> no, not really. No. >> Um, yeah. >> I mean, we're all addicted to something and the question is, what are you addicted to, >> right? >> So, let let the worst thing be that I'm addicted to the gym >> versus addicted to god forbid other. It's a healthy thing. >> The addictions are going to be there. We're all, you know, I'm a little bit my soul's a little a little bit in toho, which is a little little chaos. So, I need >> a lot I need a lot of light, >> but at least I try to channel it the right way. Right. And um about food, I know talks about food more than anybody else. >> Correct. >> So what is what can you say about food? I mean >> food is huge >> because I remember there was a time that you were not eating meat that you change your right is a vegan. >> Yeah. My wife put me my wife put me up to that one. But at the end of the day, if you're eating if you're eating vegan but you're eating, you know, stuff that's not that's modified and stuff that's not natural, it's not going to be good for you. So, >> so you can hug you can go hug trees some other time. So then I said enough I did the research and I realized that there's no point to this vegan stuff. >> Eating meat is much better >> because at least you're you're satisfied. You're not eating other things. >> So eating meat is much better. >> So what what don't you eat? What is out? >> I I try to stick things that have less than five ingredients. If has too many ingredients, it's means it's too modified. It's going to cause inflammation. And the problem today is is 80 to 90% of our serotonin are is in our gut. So our our our mental health is connected to our our our >> the food we eat. So it's not it's not just a oh eat this >> literally 90% of your of your serotonin which is your happy chemical you know your how you make decisions is connected to the food >> right? So um when you're eating happiness could be at the end of the fork >> right >> you eat too much you're tired you're going to end up doing the wrong decisions >> so it's very very important food today so Ramakan had many to Toras he had lesson 17 he had lesson 62 he had less than 60 how food can create confusion and after every single time we eat there is a storm of confusion so if we eat too much we can get a lot of confusion >> right >> so it's very careful to be careful with the food itself >> right Yeah, it's >> very important >> especially in America. America is very very nobody makes money when you're healthy when you're sick. >> Right. Right. Now another non-negotiable according to is um sabris. You know this is something that is >> again it's not that it's non-negotiable. It's it's an emphasis that this is the this is this is connected to this. If you want if you want to be able to have energy you got to eat well. If you want to have a connection to God, you have to have Brit. >> Right. >> Right. Because again, Brit, your sexual energy for men is the right. It's right before mut. >> Right. >> So what happens is if there's a blockage there, there's the shea doesn't go down. It goes distorted. >> Right? >> And that that energy in that area itself if you come with with remember that energy is very connected to sadness. So sexual immorality is very connected to sadness. is that if a person is in a sad place, >> he's going to come to this. He's going to come to this. >> What's the connection between >> because the same angel lit that's connected for sadness is also prosecuting with you sexual morality. >> So it's the same negative angel which is the Satan's wife Li. She prosecutes you first with sadness and then she gets you in sexual morality. >> Yeah. But but but with our feet on the ground, is it just uh is it like a stress relief? What is it? It becomes an escape. It becomes an escape. >> You want to just just >> it's it's a place of escape. It's it's it's the way it's a satan the evil inclination tells you this is the solution, >> right? >> You become you you end up trying to solve problems through a very it's almost like you have imagine you have like a you have an itch on your on your on your skin and there's an ulcer. So what happens is when you itch it you get temporary relief, >> right? >> But then you're really deepening the affection. Correct. >> So the more you itch it, you get temporary relief, but the infection is going worse and worse. >> Correct. >> And also you uh mentioned that this has to do with shame. >> Right. >> Now, how does shame get to it? >> Very simple. Because if you can go and all of a sudden, let's say you feel sad and all of a sudden you can get dopamine. Let's say you're watching porn or you're watching something and you're and you you're getting to a much higher level of energy >> without earning it. So all of a sudden you come back from it and you you it's it's you're coming back from this high, this artificial high and you didn't do anything for it, right? >> So what do you think you get? >> So it's it's like the bread of shame type of >> Exactly. Exactly that. The bread of shame. Yeah. Anything you don't do, you know, anything you get, you know, people take drugs, >> right? >> They get high. But then what happens afterwards? They get shamed because they they didn't earn that light. They stole the energy. >> Right? Now >> it's the energy from the other side, >> right? In one of the one of your classes that I attended actually it was >> recently uh you spoke about unprocessed shame. >> Correct. >> Which means you were saying that everyone has shame. >> Um all of us you can't get away from it. It goes back all the way >> from Adam from the shattering of the vessels. >> Every child who is born is going to have certain shame. >> Our job is >> to deal with it. Correct. Process the correct >> explain it a little. >> Sure. So for example it motivates you because well we'll do anything not to have shame. So for example many people have been very successful to avoid shame. So like you have to Michael Jordan everybody everybody who's had some kind of success today they've used the any ability to avoid pain of shame or failure etc. Right >> because remember shame is connected to failure uh connected to insult. You know Donald Trump became president because of >> correct >> because of Obama insulted him. >> So we'll do anything to avoid shame. >> So it becomes a motivator >> a motivator >> but it you could become a narcissist. So you have to be careful that it could lead you but then you have to know how to let go. So if you have too much for example of ani too much of self it could make you into a narcissist. And if you have but if you don't use shame the right way then you could become a nobody. So either shame inflates you or deflates you. So our job is to have the combination of both driving you but then you have to realize okay it got me here but I don't need it anymore. I don't need it. I'm good. I'm whole etc. >> Right? One of the major strong points uh said is that to other people am is not the greatest. It's not the biggest thing in the world but to me it is everything. It's before everything. >> Exactly. >> What is to you? Amuna to me is believing number one believing that everything's from God. believing that God loves you and believing that there's nothing there's no messengers there's no people there's no situation everything's from God and moon is also being able to to go above your inter intellectual thinking and to be able to have to be positive without certainty to have certainty without without logic to be able to be in a higher state without understanding why it's happening etc because our brain is very connected to the ego is always saying high rational etc. So when I'm in a muna mode I can celebrate in advance. >> I could be happy for no reason. I could borrow but nothing tells us if you're going through tough times what should you do? What do you do when a person's going through tough times financially? He borrows money. So the same thing he says go borrow money. Go borrow go borrow happiness from the future. >> So moon is being able to be in an altered state to thinking greater than you feel >> right >> above the situation. >> That's that's beautiful. thinking greater than you feel that you don't have to see it and it has zero to do with logic. >> You just you you think greater than you feel. >> Yeah. Because the moon is connected to the name yuk which is havaya which is past, present and future. There's no there's no anything can happen. There's no limits. So takes the limits off life >> right >> where if you're stucked to nature tea >> then you're bound to to to the limits of life etc control and you want to do everything correct. It's all it's all a relationship of immature relationship with your creator. >> Yeah. >> Amazing. Amazing stuff. >> But again, to get there, there's a lot of struggle. >> There's a lot of >> to get to these places in life and to get to the lessons in life and there's always a there's always a beautiful lesson in life once you struggle. >> Yeah. So, so if a person let's say uh is listens to this and he says, you know what, I want to I want to tap into this. I like what I see, but he's not there yet. What is his first step to >> right >> start with the mona >> he has to develop desire want to connect >> right >> what uses speech to want because remember there's always a situation in life where the you have to build an appetite so sometimes a person's going through such a tough time but that tough time should increase desire should increase the appetite for amuna >> right >> but again you have you have to connect to something much bigger than ours you know I we connect to raman the baltoval the you know these are these the we don't we don't create new roads. We follow the greats, >> right? >> It's not we're not going to undo Rabman. Rabbi Nakman already mastered these things. >> Yeah. >> So, we're very lucky if we're connected to that we're connected to these sages because they've already mastered these these roads. They've already went through these uh struggles, right? >> Where today, God forbid, a person is not connected to he's just learning all day long. He's not he's not developing a relationship with God. I don't understand how you how you handle life's challenges etc. Yeah, it's it's it's >> very important today to to people to to to be connected to something greater. You know, it's connected to the Rebi. >> You know, you have to be connected. It doesn't have to be. You have to be connected to something much greater than you. >> Right. You were always saying this and I that spirituality makes you content with less, which means that it's enough. Um all of a sudden your marriage is okay. All of a sudden the children are okay. All of a sudden the money you know we all you know we live and we all want things right >> but a person who lives with spirituality explain that a little bit >> right so when you're spiritual you're you're you're going to be content with because you already feel connected and blessed and everything. So if you feel blessed you're grateful you're blessed with your wife. You're blessed with your kids. >> But if you're always coming in with fear scarcity or or lack you're nothing's enough for you. >> Yeah. And it's always and again every single time you you get it now the the the prize is doubled. The pro now the gap is doubled. Person who wants 100 wants 200. So without spirituality you always become a hungry ghost and you can't feed this the the the when you fear when you're just chasing >> right so that's and it helps in all angles. It will help in marriage. It'll help in the business. It'll help everywhere. And if a person says I'm not a spiritual person, this guy is just uh >> without spirituality, it's all about you receiving. >> Right? >> And receiving distances you from the creator >> and it never fulfills you. >> Correct. >> Now, I want to mention this thing that I I I I have to because I'm so overtaken by it. I remember that you have a son that you you lost the son. >> Yes. >> And um I remember at that time when he was sick, I was listening to the classes and every day he's getting better. he's a little bit better. We'll say till him and this and that. And then he got a little bit of a little bit worse >> and yours say let's do more tillum. But you never stopped the the classes went on every day and then it happened. What happened? I remember that day and you came up and you said listen this is what happened. He passed the the way you continued with the classes the next day or whatever the case is is a an example of spirituality of the foundation that you have that gave you and also I need I want you to explain how what went through your mind at that time and the and the way you handled this and how did you go through this for other people or just it's not just talk every day to give a nice class. This was uh modeled before us. A person was living this life just continued like a bulldozer. >> You know what you know obviously when I'm giving these classes I really believe in what I'm teaching. I I it's not coming it's not like uh you know I'm doing this for so I'm really believing in these teachings >> right? >> Uh Rabbi Ahmed lost four children. Um so I I was you know all the Rabb Cook lost children. I mean you you hear this as a situation in life. So I knew pretty much I did everything I could doctors wise, rabbiswise, prayer-wise, possibly for it to happen, for it to prevent it to happen. Now what happens at the end is not really our world. That's God's world. So he could have, you know, I it came to peace that maybe he his mission was he had 15 years to live and and this was his mission and and I had to make peace with it. And at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself, do you want him to be depressed or do you want to elevate his name? So, obviously, if I'm caving in and crashing, you know, I don't think it would have done anything for anybody. You know, I had to really use that time to uh strengthen. It was very difficult. Obviously, my my rabbi Rabbi Kramer uh who who he also lost a daughter. So, I you know, thank God I have good mentors. Rabbi Rou I mean I have I have top mentors >> right >> that you know sometimes you you have to know when to surrender and let go and believe everything's for the best etc. But again it's it's it took years and years of >> hard labor. >> Correct. Correct. It years and years of of learning these teachings to really come to this comprehension of BL. >> Yeah. Yeah. And that is amazing. And it was a tremendous for us of regular people were sitting over there and watching this. You don't you don't even know. But people were sitting over there and and watching this thing and saying this has got to work. >> Yeah, it was it was it was something um honestly I was given the energy from above. I I can't even >> I I tried to not resist. I tried to you know I did my grieving. It was the second time his him him getting cancer. It was a tremendous amount of pain. Um you know before before he had it when he was five, he was cured at eight and then he had it again in 50. So this it was just how he got it again and all that. It was during co at the same time. It was just it was just a >> a very very surrendering. I would say it was a it was experience and surrender more than anything. I I didn't resist it. I didn't fight it. I I just let it feel it. And and >> you know you have to feel you have to first grief then you have to feel then you have to heal. >> So I didn't want to prevent that process from happening. >> Wow. >> And I also had a wife and and three other four other kids. >> Yeah. >> So I can't cave in. I mean, that's not it wasn't really an option to cave in. >> No, you're the man of the house. >> Listen, you have to be careful what you sign for in in in the responsibilities that we have. >> Yeah. >> But it was it was a very very tough process and and I don't I don't I don't know how how it how I was able to deal with it today. >> Really? >> Wow. It's amazing. >> It's one of the tough It's beyond the one of the toughest things that a person will ever go through in his life is going through that. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Um, talking about amuna, let's get into business a little bit. What is how do you look at as a businessman? What what is enough? What is not enough? >> Right? Again, I fortadus again you have to take responsibility, >> right? >> You have to create a decoy. You have to create a vehicle so God could bless you through. He doesn't want to make open miracles. But then you have to create trust that you have to make an effort. But your effort is the trigger not that triggers the the the the sheffa but it's not because of your yourself >> right >> so we have you have to have a very good relationship with money itself because money if you have a bad relationship with money then then you can all of a sudden I always call it wow you can't worry about it you can't obsess about it and you can't uh withhold it >> so >> so what is a bad relationship with money >> a bad relationship is always always worrying >> Mhm. Mhm. Worrying that you're going to lose it. >> Worrying you're going to lose it. Worrying is never enough. Obsessed. Being obsessed, that's all you think about all day long. Rabbin says when you're obsessed about money too much, it creates enemies in your life. It creates enemies. You'll have a lot of enemies. And then you have to you have to give charity. >> Charity is really the the savior of everything. The charity at least preserves the wealth because when you're giving away something, it preserves it. So Rabatan tells us that we have to we have to have a good relationship with wealth because it comes from such a high place >> right >> it comes from the same place as the wife the nephesh it's a high high place what you could do with money but usually what money does is it magnifies more of who you are >> right >> so if if you're a worrier it'll just take it to a next level if you're an angry person it'll make you angrier so we have to always be careful that money just multiplies who you are so but if you're a good person then money can elevate you >> so So you have to make an effort but you can't be obsessed about it. You we're not control We're not in control of the outcome. We're in control of the effort. We're not control of the that's not our lane. So we have to very very we have to have a very important relationship on what we how we start something and how much we're controlling the outcome of it. >> Right? And saduka is also a level of trust. You trust >> charity is the highest is the highest thing. I always tell people you don't have to manifest. Just give give charity away. That's that's that overd does all the manifesting and the thinking etc. So in business about manifestation like you were saying uh that a person should should should you should have this this this vision already you know the you should be a visionary to see the business succeeding you walking down the aisle the knowing the menu you always say talk about how powerful um envisioning is >> right so either you're you're visualizing or you're catastrophizing because remember vision is vision >> so it's either going one way or it's going the other way >> right >> you know look look Look at areas in our in Judaism how with the woman visualize the sea spplitting they brought their you know they brought their their trumpets etc. Look at areas where we panicked where with the sin of the the the the golden calf look at the spies right >> look at the waiting for Mosha. So we see the areas in our lives where there was forward vision. Moshe sang he saw the sea splitting. The the areas where there was some visualization possib he dreamed already of of already the bowing down >> and areas where there was catastrophizing >> where it led to where crying for no reason. >> Yeah. So you just look in the areas of the Torah where visualizing positively benefited positively >> and catastrophizing it ultimately tanked us. >> So that's very powerful though. You just have to be careful to have >> you have to take control of your imagination. That's for lesson 25 in the mor which is controlling the mame the deion because it can go forward or it can go the opposite. >> Wow. This is this is >> just like anything money any anything in life can go positive or negative. >> Yeah. >> Anything in anything in life can has both potentials for both positive and negative. >> Talking about business in life also um if you encounter in business people who are um toxic >> right >> literally toxic. You see, we're living in a world of >> and everybody's sweet and everybody's great and let's uh and a lot of times we hear we hear this um statement that this person is bringing out uh teaching you a lesson. He's a messenger the best in you. So this is a nice good way of looking at it a positive way. >> But what about toxic people? Sometimes there are people who will bring you down to the point that you will not recover. Every day you try to get up, you do two steps this way, now you have four steps this way. And so sometimes family members, sometimes parents, and sometimes in business. And is there a time to cut somebody off? >> I mean, there's you have to understand there's a time to learn the lesson. >> Yeah. >> Okay. So, you could look at Israel. Israel could say, "Look, look at all these people trying to attack them. You could say they're all toxic and and cut." No, they had to they had the whole lesson for Israel is to show strength. You stand up for your land. You own the land. Stand up for it. So there's areas in life that people are going to test your test your boundaries, >> right? >> Do you believe test your self worth and you have to stand up for them. You have to stand up for yourself and you have to put boundaries down. >> So these people are coming over and over to so you could stand up for your own values. >> You get it? >> Yeah. So that means in one way you have to look at it like I said before in a positive way. See listen this is a lesson. This is something for you to to grow from. But on the other hand sometimes you have to take the the the weapons out. Sometimes again sometimes you have to put a boundary down but sometimes it's teaching you you have unresolved selfworth issues. Sometimes it's it's teaching you that >> you know it's about says what you don't like about another person you probably have a little bit about yourself >> right >> so it's always teaching us we have to fix sometimes you're actually you sign this is part of your tikun and you have a portion of they have a portion of your soul that has to be they're asking for you to redeem it >> right you know >> you have to go through it even though it's very hard but it's meant for >> you many times I've had people that did horrific things to me and I've used forgiveness and that opened up other areas areas of my life. I spoke about tomar tomar d'vorah where it teaches us where you can use areas where you've been you've been harmed and forgive and that opens up other areas of our of our lives you know stories about the many stories about the tal telling us that why were certain rabbis answered and they were answered because they were easily forgive people >> so that's where the ego comes in this is how a person can test his ego because my question is also >> um what when someone wants to kill the ego I mean we keep you talk about it a lot ego is ego and everybody I Ego is the we all thear. So the question is >> when is it standing up for yourself and when is it uh breaking your ego? >> Blaming the messenger is the ego. >> Mhm. >> You understand? Standing up for yourself is the soul. >> Right. >> Blaming is the ego. >> Right. >> You get it? >> Right. So you when a person is is uh hurting you in a way or bringing you down in a certain way, what is that? >> So again bringing you down hurting you. So that the the concept about bringing you down and hurting you. So we we speak about this many times where people treat you the way they feel about themselves. >> Correct. >> So if you see some crazy person yelling at you, if you see some nut job calling, if you see, for example, you know, somebody tried to cut you off in a car, right? And you found out it was an old lady, you would say, what would you say? >> It's okay. >> You would say she didn't see me. >> It's, you know, you wouldn't take it personal, >> right? But if you saw some young kid, you would take it personally. So a lot of these things is why are we taking it so personally? Because hurt people hurt others, >> right? >> People don't know how to get rid of their energy. People have unprocessed shame, >> right? >> So now they're trying to, you know, make it up through through a false sense of uh strength, >> right? So ego is arrogance. >> Ego is self-centeredness. >> Self-centeredness. >> Ego can also be you could have a big ego and be very depressed, >> right? because you you you are attached to the outcome and you felt you should have had better in life in life. So that's also ego, >> right? And what is confidence? >> Confidence is being able to to you can be confident and have low self-esteem. Self-esteem is is your opinion of yourself, >> right? >> Conf when you're confident, you can you can master a skill, but you can also have you can be very you can be a very confident actor and if you don't get approval, you'll fall you'll fall. Really self-esteem is the key >> is the key is your your what your opinion of of yourself >> person has self-esteem he's very humble >> where where the humility is self-esteem arrogance is low self-esteem >> right how do you build self-esteem >> you take failure well >> you don't take it personal is what >> you you you learn from failure you become resilient in life you don't compare yourself to others You you work on yourself. If you love yourself, you work on yourself. The more effort you put on yourself is how much you love yourself. >> It's very easy to say, "I'm depressed." And say, "I'm depressed because of this guy." >> You know, that's you know, or or the the key is really the hard work. >> Right. Right. Um >> that's exactly what exactly what we're suffering with the with the spies with the with the story about the the they they suffer from low self-esteem. >> Right. Right. They said we're grasshoppers in their eyes. Who says >> they knew how they're looking at them. >> Exactly. So they had a >> not even what they thought. They knew how the other person is looking at them. >> So this is this is a this is a case where God gave God gave them tremendous strength to conquer the land to tremendous upside. But what did they do? They fell victims to a false narrative. >> Right? >> And and this is what we're mourning about in the Shabb. >> So you just understand what low self-esteem >> low self esteem does. the price for low self-esteem. It's the root of all >> Rabbi Torski, may rest in peace, he says that's the root of all addicted behaviors. >> Yeah. >> Is low self-esteem. >> Yeah. And we have to find this in ourselves. >> Um >> Rabbs about find your good points because in life you're going to have >> you're going to have many things in life that are not it could be better. My marriage could be better. My part my business could be better. my way could be better. But if you're sing focusing on what's not good, it could lead you to sadness and low self-esteem. But if you focus on the good points, per progress versus perfection, that could lead you to that's the pro that's the key to self-esteem. >> Wow. And why is talking about why is that such a central pillar when it comes to breast teachings is is number one >> because because when you're ch you're choosing to be happy. You're choosing to focus on the positive. You're choosing to focus on the momentum versus the opposite. >> Remember the essence of knowledge is to realize you know nothing. >> Right? >> Okay. So the majority of the what I what I would say is the majority of sadness that people go through is they're misdiagnosing their problems. They're saying struggle is terrible where I'm telling you no struggle is good. You're building a vessel. >> So a lot of people are misdiagnosing their problems, >> right? >> They're misdiagnosing things. They it's a lack of dot, >> right? And when you lack that, everything else goes to. So this is what our what do you think we're creating the podcast for? Right. >> The podcast the whole purpose of the podcast is to reframe everything to in a higher consciousness versus a lower consciousness. >> You always say that question your thinking not the creator. >> Question your thinking not the creator. Correct. >> You know so if you question yourself is then you can build self-esteem that you know. >> Correct. You ask yourself, why do I feel why do I need this another person's validation? >> Why is it important what another person has to say? Why is that making me feel good? Right. >> That's question you're thinking. >> Exactly. Exactly. Cuz again, then you become a prisoner. >> Yeah. >> Cuz what happens if this guy's in a bad mood today and you don't get validated, >> right? >> Then you're stuck. Anytime you again, anytime that we're focusing on the external >> to validate the the the internal, it's just you're you're you're in a trap. Yeah, >> you're in a trap. And when when that runs out, you run out. >> Right. >> So you could you could see how that could be a problem. >> Yeah. Now in the world we live in is a world of control and a world of fixing. We all want to fix everything. And you talk about letting go a lot. Let go and let God. What is letting go look like? >> Letting go is is not really focusing on the outcome. >> It's not your job. Yeah. Listen, I could I could teach my kid my whole life and all of a sudden I can't control the results. I can't control Results are not up to you. >> And you have >> That is not your lane. >> And you have to know it's very important what you're saying. >> Yeah. It's not your lane. It's not your thing. >> What you're saying is >> I can't control my spouse's spirituality. I can't control these things. So >> control anything. >> At the end of the day, it's not your job to control. It's not really your your job is to focus on the effort and not to fall into this trap of control. >> Right? So it's not like a report card. your children are not your report card at the end of them and that 20 years old like this is what you this is what you bring to the table um nothing is your report card your business is not your report card and this is how you build your self-esteem is what you said before is not >> right I mean you could you could you could see that when you trust when you're less controlling anytime you're controlling you're taking you're in God's lane >> so once you're in God's lane then it just it becomes a mess >> you're in the wrong position Correct. Now simplicity is a big word when it comes to breast lifter's teaching. What is the difference of simplicity and complicated? Right? >> Where can we find complications? >> Again, sometimes we we miss we we don't think that the power of a even a conversation with God can do something. We don't understand that a power of a tikunali can change my mental health. We think everything has to be very complicated. So because we think everything has to be very complicated, we complicate life. But you could do simple things like talking to God, like saying I'm sorry to somebody, like forgiving somebody, and it could change your energetic level, >> right? >> But you think it has to have a, you know, a PhD, it has to have FDA approved. >> We sometimes we think that things have to be so much more complicated. I could tell you, listen, sometimes you can eat better and work out and you'll get out of depression. No, it has to be complicated. >> So we we we create this conation was talking a lot about simplicity in every avenue. >> He says that's the greatest the there's nothing more comp there's nothing more greater than simplicity. Correct. You spoke about it many times. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very it's very powerful powerful stuff. Now when it comes to cha and talks about in his brother this does you take some kind of uh you know you make uh >> right accounting accounting >> accounting so the difference is he was he's always talking about having a broken heart is the most beautiful thing that you feel by yourself maybe you could be a better person you could be better than your yesterday >> but uh where is despair come in you know if you have this broken heart and you feel like I'm I I'm not happy with myself which is okay but again there is a a line where can you can go over and say I'm a big failure >> right >> and and you're disappointed in yourself where's the balance where can we find balance of >> right so again this is a it's a loaded question number one sometimes your falls are divinely ordained that they're meant for you to fall second anytime you think it's a fall it's really a new high okay third anytime you have a fall it's getting you to a place where you're creating something brand new. So there's no such thing as despair. >> So that's what he says. >> Yeah. There's an illusion exist. >> No, because God created the world that he would never destroy the world again after the rainbow after. No, he says I'll never destroy the world. >> So you can we always assume we're always going to realize that after what big the biggest darkness will come a big light >> which is which is throughout our life. If you if you follow this program after every darkness has become a great light, >> right? spiritually, mentally, but some people stay in the dark. >> But a broken heart is will humble >> a broken a broken heart means you're in pain, but you're trying to connect, but you can't. Despair means nothing's working, >> right? >> There's a problem in heaven, >> right? You're disconnecting. >> Correct. >> Now, explain why the question, why me? Uh why is this happening? >> You listen to my classes a lot, huh? >> Yeah. You're saying >> he's got every one of my classes on. Incredible. >> Yeah. So, so explain why me is so poisonous >> because a person could say to himself, you know, he looks at other people, looks at his neighbors and he looks he says, why t me? Why? Why? >> He should also say why me when he gets blessed also. That's the problem. >> That's we we don't say why me when we get blessed. We only say why me when we have ne it's the story of the guy upstairs. He's on and he's on a building and he's throwing dollars up and everybody picks up the money and they walk away. But when he's throwing rocks, then they look up. >> Yeah. >> So again, why me is self-centered? Why me means self-centeredness. It's a victim mindset and he has to get into what's next. Because again, we you have to get core. There's certain core beliefs that whatever God's doing is for your benefit. If you're living in this world of faith, you have to believe that everything is happening is happening for your benefit, >> right? >> You just don't understand it. Now if something is a bad is happening how how how can we interpret that to kindness? It's not the BMP would say don't say the word bad. Say the word bitter. >> Bitter. >> Bitter. Again, struggle. What is struggle? >> Struggle means vessel. >> If the struggle means desire. >> Most of the time people after they go through a very hard time, it goes by it goes it goes through a while and they see the kindness and it made them who they are. They all come back and they say, "I wouldn't change." >> Exactly. Most Exactly. But when a person is in it while they're going through this, this is not easy. This is easier said than done. >> Yes. So they have to stop resisting the problem. They have to they have to let they have to feel it. They have to let it happen and they have to stop resisting the problem. They just have to understand it's for the best, >> right? >> You know, it's it's again blessings are are hidden from the eye. Correct? >> Yeah. >> We know that line. So what do you mean the blessings are happening hidden from your eye? >> It's happening when you're not seeing the blessings, >> right? >> It's not designed this way so you can see it. >> No, because then you then what blessings you can that's revealed. >> It's the hiddenness is where you get the test. That's why God says whoever puts me as a partner in distress gets double. >> What is one thing that uh one of teachings that you think everyone has to live by? I would say zamra fi finding the good points in yourself finding the positive momentum. >> Yeah. >> What's right versus what's wrong. >> Yeah, that's a powerful one. >> I think that's what he says that you should live with. >> What do you think about surrendering? How do you surrender to the >> surrendering means there's a much greater picture happening that you don't understand? That's what surrender means. >> So you got to be very humble for that. You're watching, you're coming, you're seeing a movie, it's halfway in, you didn't see the beginning, you didn't see the end, and you're saying, "What's what? This movie is terrible." >> Right. >> There's a beginning, there's an end. There's a whole different there's a whole picture happening. >> Yeah. >> That you're not seeing. Reactiveness is very distant from the creator because it means you're not it's the ego asking for constant asking for um rationality. trying to understand again Judaism is all about transcending understanding. >> Now you are also on uh giving out a book soon. >> Yeah. What what is it called? I surrender. >> I surrender. Yeah. >> And what is that all about? It's going to be 365 meditations of like daily classes like small one page specifically for my add brothers and sisters that only have five minutes to to learn >> and they can listen to a class. they can just read a page and it'll give a powerful lesson and there's going to be 365 of them. Most importantly, it's going to be like where we used to have a one of our rituals in the Shabbat tables was we would sit down and we would there was a book called um Sephraid which is the alf book and then we would all open up the page ask a question what do I need to learn this week we would open up the page and point to a specific thing so this also book is going to be where you're stuck or you have you have advice you need advice >> and you're going to ask what do I need to learn today you're going to open up to page 188 and that's going to be your message. >> Excellent. >> It's going to be two two aspects, not just I wanted to make it something special. >> Yeah, I'm looking forward for that. >> I'm I'm also It's done. We just need the cover and we need the wife to write the um the introduction. >> Wow, the forward. >> Yeah, I want her to do it. Got it. >> Very good. Very nice. And your wife also gave out a book. >> She just gave a book. Marriage I forgot the class they forgot to teach. >> Where can we get that on Amazon? >> Amazon. >> Very good. Amazon. Excellent. Yeah. >> Um one final question for you. Who is your role model? Who is my role model? God is my role model. >> Excellent. >> God is my role model. >> So it's like ter like you said you want to emulate. >> I try to emulate God by becoming a giver not a receiver. >> Right. So you always want >> I try to connect his 13 attributes of mercy. >> I try to do as much giving going against my nature. >> Just like God goes against his nature. He forgives us. He's patient. He's kind. He's merciful. He's slow to anger. He throws away our sins. I try to emulate him as much as possible. >> Amazing, amazing, amazing stuff. Gatalia, I want to thank you. >> My pleasure. >> Thank you for teaching us what rising up means. Thank you for teaching us what rebuilding means. Um, this is like a train, you know, a train that moves fast. You know, you want to hop on or you want to be a spectator. This is this is >> life. Life is like that. Life is like that. >> Positive stuff. Positive positive stuff. And we love it. >> I want to give you a >> Amen. Amen. worship help you should have. >> Amen. Amen. >> And your words should penetrate straight into people's hearts. >> Amen. Amen. >> You and your family should have health. Amen. Panusa and Amen. And thank you for being you. >> My pleasure. >> Thank you. Thank you for coming, Adalia. Thank you.