The Struggle Podcast EP14 Joe Farkas - Narcissism

Welcome to the struggle podcast. Today we will discuss 15 facts that you need to be aware of about the narcissist. Number one, the narcissist will never change. And I'm going to say this again because I wanted to resonate with you. The narcissist will never change. They don't have the capacity to change. They don't have introspect. Life is good for them the way it is right now. So they will never change. And the idea what you need to understand is to give up hope. I usually never say this in life. There is no such a thing as giving up hope. When it comes to narcissistic personality disorder, you have to give up hope. The problem that keeps you in this relationship is because you have hope and you need to shatter this hope. You need to give this up and understand that age, um, time, situations, nothing is going to change the narcissist. They are stuck in a certain place and that's exactly where they are going to be and nothing is going to change. That awareness will help you get you out of this rut. So number one is the narcissist will never change. Number two, the narcissist is not interested in learning anything new, anything. They are not interested in education. They are not interested in bettering themselves. They are not interested in self-improvement. They are not interested in becoming a better person. They are the opposite of open-minded. They are actually closed-minded. So if a person does not get up in the morning every day and tries to see maybe I can learn something new, maybe I can learn something from another person. That person is locked in a place where they will never never learn something new. They know what they know is right and that's all they want to know. What they do is when they see something new, if it serves them, they will pick and choose whatever serves them. And that's as far as it goes. So understand something. Don't try to prove anything to the narcissist, which means it's exhausting. I have text. I'll show you. I waited two weeks. I waited two hours. I have proof. Don't prove anything to the narcissist because they decided what they decided already a long time ago and what you will do will not change anything. They are not interested in learning. They are not interested in growing. So don't waste your time. Number three, there is not one person or a thing under the sun that can satisfy a narcissist. You will never satisfy the narcissist. No matter what you will do, they are just not satisfied. It doesn't matter if you're going on grand vacations. It doesn't matter if you are going on outings. It doesn't matter if you take him to a restaurant. It doesn't matter if you will do anything and everything that a normal person would appreciate. You cannot satisfy them. It doesn't matter if you will bend over backwards and you will go against your grain and you think to yourself that you just found out what the narcissist likes and what makes the narcissist tick. They will never never never be satisfied. And there is not one person in the world that could satisfy a narcissist. Number four, the narcissist never gets impressed. Whatever you will do, they will never get impressed. They will not get impressed if you are a good character. They will not get impressed if you are an accomplished person. They will not get impressed if you're an educated person, if you have something to sell. They don't even get impressed with beauty. They don't get impressed with sensitivity. They don't get impressed if you have class. Stop working so hard and trying to impress the narcissist because you are working too hard and you will never see the fruits of your labor. Number five, the narcissist lost trust in the world. They lost trust in the universe a very long time ago. In their eyes, everyone is guilty. They don't trust anybody. They lost trust in their mother. They lost trust in their father. Those are the people that were supposed to not let them down. Now you come into the picture and you expect to be trusted. Good luck to rewire this brain for a person who doesn't trust a soul. They look at the world as a dark place, as a war, as a place where you have to fight for everything and they don't trust and they don't love. Why would they trust you? And that is the reason why you can't love them. They don't want you to love them. Trust love doesn't exist in the dictionary of a narcissist. Number six, the narcissist will always hate you. Not for you. It's just hard for them to pretend. What the narcissist does all day, all week, all year is pretend. And it's hard work. And the narcissist is sick of pretending. That's why the narcissist hates you. A narcissist will hate their mother. A narcissist will hate their siblings. A narcissist will hate an in-laws. They're all about hate. Hate, hate, hate. You have to get it into your head that these people are not well. Number seven, the narcissist is always alert. You cannot catch the narcissist offg guard. you will never see the real side of the narcissist. They're always on their game. They never let that guard down. They always pretend. They always play games and they never reveal who they are. Even though you can live with this person and you can have a relationship with this person and you think you know that person, that person is always always on their toes, always playing a game. Number eight, the narcissist hates to be loved. They believe that love is fake. They can't love and they don't want to love because they don't trust anybody. They don't understand this word love. To them love is a fantasy. Love is a joke. They need something from you. And and for now it is important to call it love. They will call it love. But the word love is so foreign to them. Number nine. The narcissist has no shame. They come back with no shame when they need something. All they have is entitlement. They feel that they deserve everything and they feel that everyone owes them everything. And here's the problem. Here's the mistake. It looks like self-esteem. It looks like, wow, this person can just go out there and make phone calls and send text because this is what he needs now. Doesn't matter if he doesn't have a relationship with these people. It doesn't matter if he didn't talk to these people for 10 years. But the entitlement is because the world was created for the narcissist. No shame, no face, no backbone. In the meantime, it's all arrogance. Don't mistake arrogance for self-esteem. Number 10, the narcissist will never give you a sincere apology. They say what needs to be said, but it means nothing. They never apologize. They will apologize if they need to. If the time is now to do that, to continue moving where they want to move, but know that this is not a sincere apology because a narcissist cannot do anything wrong. They just cannot. They are perfect and they say to themselves, "If I can, I'll do it again." Don't accept an apology from a narcissist. Number 11, the narcissist loves mind manipulation. It's all a game. They get up in the morning and they are on top of their game. They learn about you. They charm the pants off you and they push your buttons. They know your weak spots and they would not hold back. They blow hot and cold. They can be cold and hot in an instant. Whatever needs to be done, their mood changes in seconds. They give and they hold back. They give and they hold back. They give you crumbs and they wait for you to come back. This is mind manipulation. sick manipulative mind games. Number 12, the narcissist has no heart. The narcissist has no heart for family and not for people and not for the sick and not even for people who are dying. To them, it's morning news. What else is news? So what? They even hate animals. They hate the world. They just pretend to live a life. Narcissist have no heart. Number 13. The narcissist has no self-esteem. The narcissist has no self-respect, no dignity, no class, and the narcissist is miserable. That's why you don't need revenge. They're punished already. They are in such a dark place and you don't have to worry about you don't have to think about the narcissist that the narcissist is moving on with their life. You don't need to think about the fact that the narcissist has peace and you're dumb and stupid and you're doubting yourself if you did the right thing or not. They are in their own hell and be okay with that. They have no self-esteem. Number 14. Narcissistic love is a lie. Their good morning is a lie. Their sorry is a lie. Their thank you is a lie. Life is a joke to them. Narcissist equals a lie. They lie even when the truth is a better option. They just lie. This is just in their DNA. All they are is pretenders and manipulators. Remember this, their love is a lie. Number 15, the narcissist will always make you feel less than. They'll always make you feel small and stupid in spite of your accomplishments, in spite of your growth and wisdom. Because that's all they have. They have the power of making you feel small. It's all about control and it's all about power and the ability to break you. And you can't let that happen. They have a masters in making you feel small, broken, and to make you doubt yourself. Be aware this is their tool that they are using. So, here is the brutal and painful truth. The narcissist doesn't deserve you. They're jealous of you. They're envious of you. And they don't want to see you succeed. They don't want you to be happy. They deserve to wallow in their own misery all alone. You don't need to be their pin cushion for their miserable twisted desires and fun. My advice to you is to run for the hills and never look back. You deserve better. Remember who you are. Remember whose child you are. You are the child. Thank you for listening and I appreciate your time.