Finding Inner Peace in Chaos | Breath work & Healing w/ Dov Ber (Berry) Nash

Do you have anyone in this world that truly knows you? Sometimes people come and say, "My wife wants me to do breath work." That's a horrible reason to do breath work, by the way. So, breath work is an underutilized power that you have to tap into greatness within yourself. What's better? Should I do breath work one-on-one? >> Correct. >> Or should I do breath work in a group? >> Right. >> It's similar to psychedelics that it gives the person what he needs. You you could literally feel like a burden was taken off your nervous And if that's what you need, that's what you'll get. For the first time in my life, I finally felt my self-worth. >> Does the body heal faster than the mind? Okay. Today, uh we're going to have a conversation with Barry Nash, uh a breath work specialist. Barry is guiding people back to their bodies. Uh he teaches people how to breathe again, not just physical, but emotional and spiritual. Barry, welcome to The Struggle. >> Thank you, Joe. I've never heard such a wonderful introduction about myself. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> Wow. Take a breath just with that. >> Yeah. I mean, I want to thank you for coming. I really appreciate you coming in. Now, let me ask you a question getting into the breath work to the to the to the stuff that you're doing, the stuff that you're practicing, you're helping people. Does the body heal faster than the mind? Because people are in therapy for years talking, getting things off their chest, and it's a it's a journey. Now, going into body work, breath work, is that a a a quicker way to get to healing? So, I'm going to say yes. One of the areas that I'm I'm attracted to a lot of different fields and I help and and support people in many different ways. This week I've done a breath work for a group of people. Over subscribed group. In the same week, I've counseled a father and son that are in conflict in business. And within 3 hours, the father says to me, "Barry, I haven't seen my son like this in 7 years. Thank you for giving me my son back." And this week I have a cohort of of men that I train. It's a 7-week program to teach men how to see each other and to be seen. So, these are very very different areas of of practice. What I like about breath work is yes, our minds are constantly moving and very often when we just move into the body we're able to attack the struggle from a completely different angle that people are unused to. >> Correct. >> And because we go and because we go to a place that they've never touched, it unleashes and unlocks so much because often we talk a lot, we learn a lot, especially Yidden, especially from Yidden. We're trained to learn and to talk and to go to shul and we talk to people and there's so much in our minds. Even our own lives are with our minds. >> Right. >> The struggle is with our mind. So, imagine we could open a door that's typically unopened. There's like this this easy access to so much that can be cleaned, so much that can be uh worked through. Uh it would be you know, a person has multiple doors to a home. Okay, they always go through the front door. Okay, so they're always going through the front door. Imagine the whole home is somewhat of a mess and the front door is like they they're always working at the front the front of the house is just always messy and it's always a struggle and then they back door the back door there's so much garbage that's easily accessible to just remove that once you do that you come to the front door and you see the back of the house like whoa, a lot of the garbage is missing. Even though you you haven't yet gone from the front of the house to the back of the house cuz you came to the back of the house you're able to just clean such a big percentage that takes up so much of weight. It's like wow, it already smells better in here. >> What you're saying is that it's another tool between all the tools that we have for self-improvement. Um breath work is another one. >> It's another one that's so missed that's so un- untapped that we don't if if someone let's say it may be more in certain schools that say in certain public schools exercise sport is such a big activity. When you're exercising and and doing sports, your body is so much healthier. So there's maybe for them breath work wouldn't be as impactful as for the overthinkers. I don't know. But that's really the we're so weak in the body that when I work with people and I have a choice let's do breath work or have a conversation and my conversation sometimes can be very very impactful like in this you know father son. In 3 hours massive things happen. In breath work so much can be so much can happen at such a deep level because we're coming out of the mind into the body and it's so fast. It's a 2-hour investment. In those 2 hours, it's very likely you'll accomplish more than 50 hours of talking. >> is it a long-term thing? Like if you tell a person, "We're going to start doing breath work." Uh is this person coming three times, six times, 12 times a year, once a month? What is the What's the length of this uh so-called therapy? >> I tell people, I say if you try twice, you'll know if it's good for you. >> Mhm. >> Try twice. Once you try it, if you have a powerful experience, that powerful experience is going to remain with you. Even if you lose the impact, you still know you had the impact, so you're already see yourself in a different way. You already see yourself in a different way. I have a friend who's big into psychedelics. He's been taking that psychedelics before the you know, before it became very popular. And he We've done breath work a few times. He says, "Barry, breath work's not for me. Can't do it." He never really gets into it. And I know watching so many hundreds of people already breathing, I know he's just struggling to let go. Cuz he meaning he's struggling to let his mind quiet. >> Yeah, it's some sort of surrender that you need before you get into this breath work. >> So, very interestingly, this man, like me, loves helping people. So, um it's common for people who don't trust themselves, but also love helping people, that they're powerhouses in helping people, but then as soon as they have the opportunity to help, they don't feel confident, though they are capable. They say, "Go to that guy." "Go to that guy. He can help you." And I used to do that. I said, "Go to that guy." Cuz I felt like, "Ah, who am I to help?" So, this person he says, "Go to Barry for breath work." And I said, "You know what? I'll come with you." So, he comes to the breath work with his friend. He says, "Barry, I'm really here for him, uh but I'm going to I'm going to be here to support him." So, I said, "Listen, enough enough with the you know, the the play. If you're going to be here to support him, you can wait outside and support him from outside, but if you're going to be in this room, I want you to be fully present for yourself." Meaning, I told him there's no effort like zero pressure. Like, I don't mind if you're outside supporting him from upstairs. If you want to be in this room supporting him, that's not happening. You have to support yourself if you want to be here. No halfway in, halfway out. And I can watch with 10 minutes to we're till we began. You watch how he was unsure and halfway 5 minutes in, I say, "1 to 10, where you holding?" He's like, "Five." I said, "Listen, you really don't have to do this. He's here already. He's happy to be here. You could just be upstairs. You've done enough. If you want to breathe, don't breathe halfway." So, 5 minutes later, more people come. He says, "Barry, I'm I'm doing it." This man let go like no one nobody else. And he says to me, "Barry, for the first time in my life." This man took psychedelics plenty of times. "For the first time in my life, I finally felt my self-worth." Mhm. So, checking with him a few days later. Now, this is someone who's had a struggling life. Brutal upbringing by his parents. So, the self-worth is fractured at a very big cost. Fractured at a very high level. A couple of days later, I say, "How are you feeling?" He says, "It was good for a few days, but then I spoke to my dad, I lost it all." Now, he he's talking as as if he lost it all. I know that the fact that he once felt that self-worth, A, it's more accessible. And B, that's always going to be there for him to know I once felt even though he's not even thinking in those words, it's an experience. Like Not only that, late after that, he was able to stand up for himself in business. He literally showed me messages like I told I told people no. You can't negotiate me like this cuz he was being taken advantage of. He literally >> It's unbelievable. >> Nothing to do that with the business. He just felt more worthy. He was able to stand up for himself. >> But I want to go back to what you said before. You spoke to father and a son and you you tried to make peace. And you said that the father saw his son differently for the first time. >> In 7 years, yeah. >> The question I have is how did that shift happen? Is it because the father changed the way he looks at his son or he just got clarity of the son's view of of his side of the story? Can you share where the shift was? >> What the father, you know, that there because there there's conflict with with everyone contributes differently to a conflict. And in my opinion it takes one person to shift. >> Mhm. >> Once meaning it could be either person has the ability to shift that conflict out. Not Often we don't want to be that one because of like why me? I've done so much already in this relationship. Why should I be the one? He It's not fair. He should be the one. Or we don't know how. Like I really want to, but I don't know how. >> Cuz of the ego or whatever is in the way. >> So no, the ego was the first reason. Like I don't want to cuz he should finally like I've done so much. He should finally And he said he would and he didn't. So there's there's a a fearness of of of an ego feeling. And the second thing is they want to, but they don't know how to. What was fascinating here is that both both these people individually and alone were beautiful good people. And like everyone enjoys being with them. They're not people that have conflict. And And it's so painful to see like amazing good people have conflict. And often when I help people with families and marriage and um you know, I started this work with younger children, showing parents how to have relationship with their younger children. That's how I got involved initially with with being seen by therapist who's helping me with my younger children. So um And And typically I deal with high-conflict situations. Um So in this case, when I see people that are both good people, it's what I call unnecessary struggle. >> Yeah. >> Right? There's some struggle that I consider necessary. Someone doesn't is a health issue. And And of course really every struggle is necessary cuz that's the way I chance of putting it, but there's like unnecessary struggle. Like You don't have to fight. I mean, you could, but it's so avoidable. Just like a little shift. Little shift, very avoidable. And that's what was here. They just needed a little shift. And that's all I did, and they did it on their own. >> So you're saying both of them had a shift, and they looked at each other differently. They they saw the different way of looking at the way the other person is looking at it, and it clicked. >> I don't know who had the shift first. Uh but the fact that they both wanted to be there meant that even before they came in each one was thinking I know he wants to be there. No one's feeling forced. I know he wants a relationship with me. I want a relationship with him. Like all the all the ingredients are already there. So just a few shifts of techniques. There wasn't ego with with with them. There wasn't ego. >> is that is that different let's say in shalom bayis or in a marriage when both come together and there there's a huge rift between the two of them? They both want to make it work. >> I mean marriage is different. It's different because the way we as men function and the way women function and the way operate is very very different. So often the problem with marriage is could be you know, men are much more powerful in the marriage than women are. Meaning more to more influential. And and and I'm sure people listen to this and they're like their wives are hurt you know hurt in the marriage like no, my wife is she's the you know she's the you know the one the destroyer of the relationship. But we're much more influential. And when I speak to women I tell them that that if the men if no one's home in right if no one's home with the men women have the could have the influence for sure. But for us we're much more influential and I'll tell you why. One of the women want to follow men. They want to follow men. >> Nature. >> It's the nature. We want they want to be led. They want to be held. Not that they don't want to exist, but they want to exist in the they want to exist following someone great. And if you're someone great >> her. >> Yes. And men often treat women like men. So when they treat women like men, then that creates such a struggle because women should not be treated like men. They should be treated like women. So, we talk to the our wives in a way of of uh the way we talk with a friend. >> Yeah. >> And we we can't treat them like we treat friends cuz they're women. We have to treat them with care and with and and and with and and in a different way. We're not looking for it to be, for instance, with men, we we love competition. So, if you have two men uh that are buddies, like, "Hey, you know, I did you know, I I I did this. I accomplished this." And and we're and then he says, "Well, I did this." Well, "Come on, you didn't do that, fully. You were just So, if imagine we said that with our wives. They're like, "I had a great conversation with our daughter." And now now we're not looking for competition. If our wife would say that, we're not looking at her like, "I'll outdo you tomorrow." No, it's like, "Wow, thank you for being such a good mother." >> Right. >> Thank you. I want to learn from you how you did that. >> Right. >> Cuz we're not looking to compete with our wives. We're looking to create a family. So, that's just one tiny example of So, it's it's different, but uh >> Why do you think that sometimes you can see couples who are jealous of each other? I mean, they're living in the same house. They have one mission. They have every thing in common, which is family and kids. And there's a certain jealousy that one person feels that the other person is overshadowing the other. Where does that come from? >> What do you think? >> I I was just I don't know. Maybe a self-esteem issue or that she feels that um he's taking something away from her or she's you know it's it's it should be like a a cheering up more than uh >> And and I think I think that if you put a woman in a competitive environment, they will be competitive. So, that's why I say the men have a lot of influence. We want to remove competitiveness cuz women will Once women become competitive, they're very good at being competitive. >> But they're not That's not That's not where they're where they shine. Right? When It's not where they shine. And we definitely don't want to be competitive with our wives. If there's competition, it's the man who needs to remove that competition. >> Yeah. Now, do you feel if a person is going through a hard time in marriage or whatever he's struggling with and probably a lot of underlying problems on both sides or whatever the case is um breath work will uh at least calm the nervous system down, the way he behaves, the way he talks, the awareness that you were talking about now that you talk to uh a lady like a lady. Um is breath work will help the person be in a space be in a different space? >> Possibly. And I say that because breath work was one of the interesting things that I I I that I like about breath work is it's similar to psychedelics that it gives the person what he needs. So, I actually tell people that there's three areas that breath work could help you. It could either help you somatically >> Uh-huh. >> where you could have zero awareness you could literally feel like a burden was taken off your nervous system. And if that's what you need, that's what you'll get. So, that's when some breath works people have a very physical reaction. They feel like uh uh they were you know floating in the air, floating in the ocean. They felt a change in their body. What did it mean? Nothing. Some people have emotional releases, emotional awarenesses, where they realize I've I've had a woman say to me breath work is like, "Wow, I never realized how much I love my kids." Now, this is not a woman who did not love her kids. It's that THAT THAT'S LIKE, "WOW, SO MUCH IS LIKE OH MY GOSH." SO, now she leaves the breath work and she's has what changes will it make with her relationship with her kids? And then the third area in breath work is that people have deep insights. And those insights are it's actually we remain in our head in those types of breath work, but it's at a much uh slower pace, where like the depth of our our intellectual ability come to the surface and we're able to see things in a completely new way. I had actually my sister has done breath work with me and when I first started and a few a few weeks later she called me, "Barry, my Shabbat Hebrew school doubled because of your breath work." I said, "No one ever told that to me before. I should tell all the shluchim to do breath work now. I'll be the biggest promoter." She says, "You don't understand. I was the whole summer I was trying to promote Hebrew school cuz we're going into the new year and every idea I had nothing worked. But in the breath work an idea came to me and I made sure to text my husband, my brother-in-law. I made sure to text my husband the idea right afterwards to make sure I don't forget it. I said, "If this idea came to me during breath work, it must be a good one." She implemented it and within that day doubled her Hebrew school. >> Wow. Now, do you encourage thinking during the breath work? You know, like they do in yoga, don't think, think. >> I I I I I don't get on I don't give too many instructions. Too many instructions makes it overwhelming. >> Mhm. >> And that's why breath work is so good because you can't fail. >> How does a person, you know, you like I said before, you have to surrender. You have to be vulnerable. And trust. How do you instill trust in a group as a circle of people sitting and a person who is never introduced to breath >> work. >> And um who knows what's coming out of this breath work, you know, some people some people break down, they cry, right? >> Sure. >> They hum. And they they make noises. Um do do you get you have to get out of a certain space out of this uh >> So, anything that's foreign, anything Excuse me, anything that we're unfamiliar with seems like it's strange and and difficult. Uh you know, I'll just give an example. I was recently at the Kosel. >> Mhm. >> And at the Kosel, multiple people are crying at the Kosel. >> Yeah. >> And it was very interesting for me to experience it the first time where I go in the stories of that I hear, you know, they speak about how people da- you know, cried during davening. I'm like, I don't see people crying during davening. You see people crying in your minyan during davening? Not common. >> No. >> And if you did, you're like, that guy must have a really really rough thing going on. >> Correct. >> Then you go to the Kosel. It's normal. People are crying. >> Yeah. >> So, imagine you said, "God, I come to the Kosel." It's like, "I got to come to the Kosel. Can I can I cry? People are going to see me cry." It's not a thought that happens. You're at the Kosel. It just happens. And you're at the Kosel and you cry and someone sees you, someone doesn't see you. It It doesn't even up space. So, when people come to breath work, like people aren't talking with one another. People don't even know who's crying cuz they're in their own process. So, as we're talking to about this, it sounds like, "Oh, this is really strange." It's like, "So, I'm second, you go to a restaurant. People see you, too?" I mean, at home, it's my family. The restaurant, they could they they watch what's on your plate? They know what you're eating? What dessert you choose? If you like chocolate vanilla, I mean, that's very vulnerable. They're not wrong. If it's if part of the culture is you eat alone, private, right? The according to tell me the shouldn't eat in public. >> Yeah. >> Eating at a simple or eating at a restaurant is totally inappropriate in the Talmudic way. >> Yeah. >> It actually will feel weird if you're raised this way and then you do it. But, once you do it, it's like, "Oh, it's not that I mean, he's also doing it." Right? He's also eating. >> So, you're saying in a in a group of people, you get lost. You're so focused on yourself. >> Yeah. >> You're so focused on yourself. >> And so focused in your self-improvement that you don't even see what's going on around you. >> You actually don't. >> There's no judging. There's no You just Everyone But, why what's the power of a circle? What's the power of Do you feel that one-on-one has a different impact than a circle? >> So, it's a great question. People ask me this question often. What's better? Should I do breath work one-on-one? >> Correct. >> Or should I do breath work in a group? >> Right. >> When I started getting involved with breath work, one-on-one is expensive. So, I went to a group. Like, "Wow, this is so good. One-on-one, I'm paying the money for this." I do one-on-one, it's like, "Ah, very disappointing." >> Not the >> same. >> Not the same. Now, I was exhausted cuz I did it literally the next day. I just did breath work the night before. The next day I was tired. Did it in the morning. Now, I know that there's a lot of things to make somebody comfortable and make a good breath work. So, often I'll tell people it's not the right time. We're not going to do it. And if I see that they're not ready, canceled. We're not doing the breath work cuz we can only do it if the energy is right. So, you know, in a group if I'm not ready Let's give it Let's give an example as What's If I'm If I'm in a gym and I'm in a group class or I'm one-on-one. So, if I'm not fully motivated who is my motivation? That's me. That's all it is. My trainer. That's it. >> Right. >> If I'm in a group and there's somebody who's going like, "Oh my god, that guy He's like He's Look at him. He's sweating like a dog." It motivates you. >> Yeah. Like a kindred soul from >> So, so it it the group has the power of both. If there are people who are heavy not ready, then it will impact it negatively. But often you have just need one person and then and then it has a positive effect on everyone. This week did a breath work in the Five Towns. Unbelievable. So many positive experiences with with After breath work I I mean I remind myself like, "Wow, this is why I love this." Cuz I love watching people have transformation. And breath work is low risk high rewards. And it's in 2 hours. People are like, "Wow." And they come back and say it was so different than the first time, but wow. So, breath work if you haven't if those listening haven't yet got the point is a underutilized power that you have to tap into greatness within yourself. >> Unbelievable. Now, as far as ages >> Yes. >> How young and how old what would you say? What is your uh recommendation? >> All right. I I was It's a great question. And this is the experience that I have and the training that I have I'll I'll I'll say this. I've done breath work a full session like 2-hour session with 9-year-olds. >> Mhm. >> Now, if I do a family breath work, I've had 7-year-olds there and what after 30 minutes they're so happy to be a part of it, but they're actually like spent. They are there's no more energy in them to do more breath work. They just want to look at see what's happening. So, I've seen multiple 7-year-olds not have the capacity and after 30 minutes, they get up and that's totally beautiful and fine and they get what they need to get in those And and then I've seen Now, those 9-year-olds are not having those experiences that adults are having, but they're enjoying the experience. They feel calmer. They feel more relaxed. They they want to do it again. And I've seen 12-13 year olds have explosive experiences. Crying. Deep releases. Feeling Uh uh yeah, like one one person uh a memory comes to mind where someone came to my breath work and it's such a powerful experience is very why should I wait for my kids to grow up, experience pain, and then do breath work which just I'm I'm feeling it. I'm 50 years old. I'm feeling the benefits. Let me give it to my kids now. Would you do it? I said, yes. So, we do it for his kids. Great positive experience. This person's like My my son's class is coming for Shabbos. They're 15 15-year-olds. Can we do it for them? I say, who's paying? It's very important question. Yeah. He says, I'll pay for them. I say, I want them to contribute. Because part of I've seen that when people get it for free, they're not invested. They're not It's a It's a drastic difference. So, if they give $1, it impacts their experience. Cuz they have to choose to give that $1. So, 15-year-old 15 guys are packed in this room. I It wasn't possible to get them to pay me in the sense of I want them to contribute, but it was the timing is too little notice. So, we just did it. And on my part, better than not doing it at all. Many of them didn't have a didn't have an experience. They They left in the middle. But three of them or four of them had life-changing experiences. One One person lost a family member a few months earlier. And this breath work session is a 15-year-old crying his heart out. Now, there's no way you can watch this and not cry yourself cuz you see someone mourning. You don't even know what's happening. He tells me later what happened. And I say in one word, what happened? I feel unburdened. So, here I have 15-year-old in Yeshiva, going about Great guy. Everyone loves him. Inside there's tremendous tremendous pain. The breath work of 2 hours made him feel light again. Light. His parents wrote to me saying thank you. Now they did not ask me to do it. He was just on a Shabbatone and and they wrote to me saying we were trying to help our son. This helped him so much. Thank you. >> Did you ever do a family like just family? Like like they call you less for Shabbat Hanukkah we'll call Barry and we'll do a you do that and it's okay close family members to just let it go combined? >> So that those are two questions. All right, you're asking do I do it and is it okay to have family together? So as a father if I'm in a situation where I want my kids to be introduced to breath work, there's no way and and the way the opportunity I have is for them to do it as a family and that's like the only way for it to happen which typically is is is is common, then yes. So you know, I sent my question is should I do breath work for siblings? And I've done breath work for my family. All right, we had a my mother's uh we had a celebrated her birthday. We all got together. We're all together for a few days and I gave the family breath work experience. Very difficult. Very difficult on my part. And I know that even though they liked the experience it would have been better if they were not with family individually. But it was still unique to do it as a family. >> Right. >> So if >> But is it was difficult for you or for them or for the entire dynamic? >> the whole they didn't think it's difficult. No. >> Right. >> They had a good experience. They But I know that if I had a room of the same number of people that did not know each other, it would have been very different. >> Right. >> Because there's so much So, it really depends. If I was myself as like, "Okay, I'm going to go with my family or just alone, I'm going to choose alone." But if I want to help and introduce someone to it, and the way to do it is, "I'm going to do breath work for you." Instead of saying, "Hey, my friend Joe Farkas, he's a great great breath with him breath breath work practitioner or go to him." They'll never call you. So, I say, "Listen, we're together. Let's do it." >> Now, let me ask you something about the nervous system. Can you explain us what this means nervous system? And it's your pain and your trauma is sitting in the nervous system. It's regulated deregulated. Give us a little bit of insight what this every person has a nervous system. >> It's a great question. You know, today with my my little baby and and for a moment this tiny tiny baby 1-year-old >> Mhm. >> put her hands like this. It's very cute. It's a kind of >> Yeah. >> Cuz they're it's like a relaxed like life is life is calm. Hands like this. When we experience watching a child have a tantrum. So, as parents we know that okay, the child's off. Like he's not even making sense. He's talking he's not even making sense. We need a reset. Now, how to deal with it is not what I'm talking about. It's just observing that the child is deregulated. The child is so off that um everything is bothering them. The temperature the way they look meaning anything could be bothering them. It doesn't matter what. >> Right. >> They're not Nothing is normal. Nothing is working properly. And then at the very end of the tantrum, if it's a crazy tantrum, at the very end of it, you see them >> exhausted. >> You think they're exhausted. They're exhausted. Really, they just regulated themselves with that breath. >> Mhm. >> So, the breath is actually why they just became calmer. The breath helped them become calmer. So, it would be if somebody is walking and they have a pebble under their shoe and you can see them limping. Now, sometimes people limp for so long they forget they're limping. But you can see the guy's limping. And you say, "Come pick up your shoe. Let me see what's there." And you pick it up. "Now walk." And they say, "Whoa." This feels good. So, as you're watching them walk, you say, "This guy's deregulated. His His balance is off." So, our nervous system is is the core power source of the way we operate. And everything we do either supports the nervous system or ignores or hurts the nervous system. Okay? For example, if a person's you know, goes outside and he's not bundled well enough, eventually, even though he's like, "I'm not cold." You know he's cold. So, but what's happening? He's stubborn about wanting to dress himself warmly. He's outside in the cold. His nervous system is cold. So, he's like, "Oh my god, I we got to survive over here." And then then the nervous system kicks into high gear. I got to do something. I got to stay warm. The body goes into an overdrive of protection. Maybe we'll get a cold. Like maybe we're like something is going to cave. Maybe get a cold or you know, God forbid something else. But if we now bundle up it's like, oh. Now I could I could just be. So, our nervous system often we're constantly fighting to keep our nervous system regulated in an unhealthy way. If we're constantly looking for our phones, which is something I struggle with, constantly looking for our phones, it's like what what would happen if you just relaxed? See what would happen. As soon as we're we're bored how does the body react? A baby can just chill. Calm nervous system. Can we just chill? Is our nervous system desperate to find a band-aid? So, if we could you know, experience some calmness yesterday a few days ago. The feedback of the breath work was from one person I've never had a quiet mind. I say, never? He says, 25 years was the last time. He knew. Cuz now he remembered. Like I remember feeling this way. I don't know what he's done, but he had to be he had to do something. So, when we exercise, sleep, eat well take care of our minds our nervous system is going to be more and more regulated. And if we could attack the if we could if we could if a person's nervous system is regulated, then he becomes the most powerful. Cuz it would be >> It's clarity. >> It's clarity, there's creativity, his body is healthy. There's There aren't these distractions, internal distractions that are that are off. >> Now, is there a exercise that a person can do in his car or in at home? Little tiny, I'm not talking about a full-blown but just to calm yourself down when, you know, things are going out of control? >> Absolutely. Yes. So when we control when when a person is in a regulated place, they breathe in a certain way. >> Right. >> If we can mimic that breath, we can actually regulate >> the nervous system. >> Our nervous system. Yes. So one rule of thumb is that if you're looking to If you're looking If you're down and you're looking to get strength I think you want Let's go to the reverse first. If you're stressed >> Yeah. >> and you're looking to calm yourself down then it we can manage our exhales in a slower way, but deliberately slower that will actually help us help us calm ourselves down. So right now we breathe. I'm talking, so I'm talking while I'm breathing while I'm talking. But a typical breath inhale exhale. So that took a second. If the exhale took a second, if I could control the exhale to be 5 seconds then I I'm I'm actually going to put effort into it, right? I'm allowing very little to exhale at a time. I'm extending the exhale. The body believes it's calm and then it becomes calm. >> Uh-huh. I mean, yeah, and people can do this it's an awareness, though. It starts with the mind, you know? When you're angry and when you have anxiety, to help yourself, say to yourself, you know what? Let me sit down for a second, and let me start breathing. That's That's the way to do it. >> Let me ask you a question. You started this Struggle Podcast how long ago? >> 7 months. >> 8 months. >> It seems like it's booming. Am I right? >> I hope so. >> No, you know that answer. Yes, okay. >> What what What What type of feedback are people giving you that that that motivates you to continue? >> Um people love it. I feel that I make a difference. Um and people are like learning from it, and the awareness. And I like that I'm honest, and that I like to dance around the bush. >> Right. >> So, it's a me giving, it gives to me it's like tzedakah, you know? You give, it does more for the giver than for the taker. >> Mhm. >> But, that's my motivation. Yeah, I would love to >> Let me give you a So, now, your state of your state of being now, you're already on the giving side of society. You're already giving. Now, we can give without our nervous system being regulated. Because there's a purpose, there's a soul behind what you're doing. And the soul is very loud and very powerful, and it's our That's like That's the spiritual nervous system. >> Right. >> And that spiritual nervous system is like, I want to help people. >> Right. >> And I very much relate to that. I want to help people. Now, there are going to be areas where we're going to be afraid to help people. And the reason we're afraid to help them, reason to do something that's a little off, even though we feel like that's actually the big thing that needs help because our nervous system is off. So, if I had a more a healthier nervous system and you had a healthier nervous system, then the way you're going to give is going to be at a much higher level cuz all of the areas that you're avoiding because of your nervous system not ready to handle it, when really it could, it's just walking a little off. As soon as I can actually hold more weight, then your soul will actually be able to spread light to much more even more. >> So, what you're saying is that if I would go and to a breathing ceremony, yeah. It will amplify my ability to give. >> 100% that's exactly what I'm saying. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> That is eye-opener. >> Yeah. And that's why cuz right now my whole life I was giving. I was giving as a Chabad. I was a Chabad shliach for 5 years. Even before then, I was always uh you know, I was I always loved helping people in whatever way I felt, you know. Now, I'm able to and and I'm not where I could be, right? I know that. I know there's more. But now I'm able to in 2 hours, if as an example, hold space for people in a way where and I'll just give an example. Sometimes in breathwork, this may not be a good example, but I'll give it. Hopefully it will land. In breathwork, a person could be 20 minutes in doing great. Doing great, they're breathing, they're actually but then they get into a roadblock where they're afraid to go further. >> Mhm. How long is a session? >> We breathe for 45 minutes to an hour and a half. >> Wow. Okay, continue. >> And and I see that their body starts wiggling. Like maybe they'll start like there's there's music. So then they like distract themselves with moving to the music. Oh, we're enjoying this music with their you can see like or they start scratching their head, whatever it might be. I already know their body is now deregulated or that they're not ready to they don't have the courage to go further. So what what I'll do and in the beginning this is very uncomfortable for me. But I would go up to them in the middle and would say do you want to go deeper? Some people say no. No problem. Most people say yes. So I say now that already I invited them to go deeper. I say don't move your hands. Right, cuz they're they're dancing in the air, right? They're moving. I said right now I said don't move your body. Boom. Few minutes later they're off. Now it took strength for me to be able to interrupt someone in their breath work cuz I'm taught not to talk to people in in the breath work. It's a very hands off breath work which is very different than a lot of the styles that are common. I don't interfere. I just guide a little bit in terms of how to breathe and I leave it to you which gives people the ability to go very very deep. But when I see this little struggle I just a little tiny question, you want to go deeper? Don't move your body. And it took strength for me to be able to feel like I'm going to interrupt you. And that would be a difference where there's places where we don't want to go cuz we're uncomfortable going. So remember where we started? I'm a I'm a who's afraid of conflict. >> Right. >> So, I'm going to now interrupt you, the breath work. >> Right. >> But, because as my nervous system and I know there's more, okay? I'm not like I'm not a clean >> Yeah. >> So, that that that I think for anyone who's in the world of helping people, they souls, you said it perfectly, will shine brighter and have more ability if their nervous system is more in check. >> Well, now in all these years that you're doing this and you really uh you're feeling it, your life your passion is there. What did you learn about people, about an ashama? What did you What did you learn about the human soul? >> This is what's coming to me right now, Joe, okay? Cuz I can answer this question a million different ways, but right now this is what's coming to me. People do not know their capacity. They undervalue themselves, including myself. But, I recognize that there's a massive differentiation between what's reality and what they think. And and that I think is a definition of of galus. >> What? >> In a spiritual sense, God is invisible. So, he's so invisible that you actually have an idea called atheism. People actually deny it. No one denies my existence. There's no one who denies my existence. >> Right. >> It's impossible. Right? >> Right. You're here. >> I'm here. >> You can see it. >> There's no way you could deny my existence. Now, maybe I'm wrong, but you're with me, okay? That's so far sounds sounds right? >> Yeah, but what you're saying is >> So, now >> that a bunch of them are so is this so complex that this thought of being an atheist also comes he's created that level also. >> Right. That and that's how that's how exactly. That's how invisible Hashem is. Now, imagine a person being an atheist to themselves. Where they don't believe. It's like hey listen Joe, you're a very talented guy. And in mine, he has no clue. I am not talented at all. You have a very high you have a soul. It has it has tremendous light in it. Doesn't exist. My soul, if it ever lived it's dead now. That's that's what I learned about people. People have way more capacity, way more ability, and way more light than we even believe is possible. And often people tell me like this is really something that the Lubavitcher Rebbe was was was recognized with where people would say, he believed in me more than I believed in myself. That's something that I see. >> Now, it's it's very profound what you're saying. Now, in why do you think that is? Is it the the limitations that we put on ourselves? Is it fear? Um where is where are we blocked? You know, what do we fear most? >> So, I think there's a couple of things. Number one, it's meant to be this way. Right? It's meant to be that there's a struggle. It's meant to be that we don't know who we are. And as soon as we do know who we are, then there's more to know who we are. >> So, we should look for it and search for it and push ourselves. >> Yes, but we must have like for me personally, I'm very grateful for the ability that that Hashem has given me to be able to assist in certain ways. But I still feel like there's more. >> You're still not satisfied. >> I'm still not satisfied. >> You should never be satisfied when it comes to helping people. >> Right. In terms of the ability, like when I first started, I was satisfied. It's like oh my cuz for me that was the growth. It's like oh my I am actually I actually do have an ability to help people. And and like in crazy ways. And it's not my gift. It's not It's a nature that that God gave me. Or another way of saying it, it's just my my my soul coming out. But I know there's more. There has to be more. There There's no doubt that there's more. But for me it's it's a novelty to be even to be able to recognize that I even have this cuz coming in the past before I got into this work, I didn't even though people appreciated me and people would say it, I didn't believe it. Right? >> Yeah. >> Do you Do you relate to this? >> Sure, a million percent. I think that we put limitations on ourselves and we don't give ourselves enough credit and we judge ourselves more than even the the outer environment. And this is this is something this is where the the root of codependency is. The self-love. >> Yes. >> I want to talk about spirituality. Do you >> I am an expert in I mean me and spirituality, anything you need, Joe. What is it? >> I got you. Do you implement spirituality in your course? >> I once had a someone ask me, he's not religious, he says, "I want to bring you to my office. Do you always speak about the neshama?" So, I I I'm just me. So, I think if the crowd is I'm I'm not looking to convince people about a spirituality. I'm just looking to convince people about the spirituality in them. >> Right. >> So, even though I use terms that may be a may be may sound like like a Yiddishkeit idea, it is a very Yiddishkeit idea. >> Right. >> But, even if a person's not willing to go there, it's like no problem. Let's just go to what you could handle. That's really the the goal here. It's like I want people to experience in themselves. Once you experience yourself, you'll find whatever you need to find. >> Correct. Now, my question is like this. I mean, people are looking for help, and people want to better themselves, and they're always looking to grow. And breathwork is another one about another one that's in the doost, and there is a big awareness of it now. But, where does a min and bitochen come in? So, let's say if a person does hisbonenus, hisbodedus, whatever you want to call it, the Baal Hatanya's way of life, if you have a solid emunah and solid bitochen, and you live with this, you understand it, and you go through life, and then couple that up with breathwork, do you find that if someone has that spirituality and uses breathwork, will help the person way greater than someone just comes in and says, like you said before, I I don't leave this out. I don't want to talk about it. Just want to breathe. I look at the world, and I have anxiety, and I'm nervous, and I I just want to adore out. What does a Muna do for a person? >> I think I mean, you you're asking what does it do together with breathwork? >> Correct. >> It It would be like asking, in my opinion, like what does a Muna do for someone who eats lunch? If someone doesn't believe in God and he eats lunch, how does his lunch different than his lunch? >> No, but what I'm what I'm trying to get to is that the person already comes in with an arsenal of, uh, you know, there's a bunch of them and everything is meant to be. His level is is living in a different He's just going through a hard time. He's going through, uh, something. But if a person just comes in and is not aware, not like it doesn't believe, but he he's not aware, he's not connected. Is does breathwork have the same impact? >> So, let's say someone says they believe in God. They're from Jew. They They say they believe in God. Breathwork may actually give them the experience of what it feels like to believe in God. >> Mhm. >> Someone who doesn't believe in God, then he'll lose the opportunity of that because he's locked himself out out of that door. But I've had people who are struggling and their reaction after the breathwork is like this, "Barry, I've never felt held by Hashem to this capacity ever." Now, again, it's like the the woman who told me, "I never realized how much I love my kids." These are They both loved Hashem, trusted Hashem, loved their kids. The awareness of it is heightened. Is It's like they're bringing I'm The breath work is bringing out your own potential. So, someone's an atheist, let's say, and they do breath work. Hashem is still going to give him the nurture the nutrients that he needs from the breath work. >> Yeah. >> Will he have a a spiritual experience? I've no idea. He'll have what he needs to get, whether it might be you know, it might be healing the trauma from when he bruised himself at the at 8 years old. It might be an insight in how to do business. >> Right. >> Eventually, when a person cleans you know, cleans as much rubbish from their system, then they'll get to more insight into more truth, into more of their own soul. >> Because I feel like that um spirituality and bitachon is the biggest medication out there. I feel like that you can get through anything and everything if you really believe and if you talk to Hashem you have you build this relationship with Hashem. And then you know, all the other things you have to take care of yourself. It's part of your status. >> Right. >> Even sitting in therapy for a person who says yeah, I'm sitting in therapy for 20 years. It's a little bit over doing it. Because therapy should take you to a certain place. And coupled up with emunah and bitachon, you already come down from your the ego and you already come down from the high horse when you have when you have emunah a bitter. >> You're absolutely right. I agree with you and I I think you've spoken about this in one of your podcasts about this three Schlaven and his bitterness. >> correct. >> Yeah, and you know, and and that's really I I think that's really the way I see breath work is as a as as a tool to help a person strengthen what they already have. >> Right, connect with with >> But talking in a moon, talking in a moon is one of the strongest core values that we have as Yidden. >> Of course. >> And you know, breath work can assist in that. But you're right, if but like talking in a moon and and it's a different it's a it's it's in a different realm I see it. Right? If if someone is is starving you're not going to say I need to believe in God. Listen, if they're starving and there's no food then you're going to say listen >> I don't have food either. >> Right. >> But this is what I do. I trust. Join me in trusting. >> Right. >> No, that's fine. But if you have food, say listen, I want you to first learn how to trust. >> Right. >> Let me know when you're there and here's the food. No, we just give the food. Right? And so Hashem wants our bodies to be you know, actually in cities they say Adam and Eve Adam >> Mhm. >> What does it mean Adam and Eve Adam? This is crazy, but This is crazy what I'm about to say. I chose the bodies of Yidden. Cuz in the Shamis I don't have to choose. The Shamis there's no choice. It's a Ferrari to Toyota. It's not a choice. A choice is only when you have equals. What I chose are the bodies of Yidden. The bodies of Yidden are holy. It's Hashem's becoming into us. Hashem wants us to be taken care of. So, like we're thinking right in this conversation, the question is like Oh, bitachon. We need we can neglect our bodies cuz I have bitachon. Well, actually maybe uh our bodies are holier than our neshamos. Maybe. And according to this when Mashiach comes our neshamos will be be nurtured from the bodies. So, right now you get the the premise is the premise of your question is our souls are the main thing, our bodies are just >> Yeah. >> you know, tagalongs. And okay, we never need a body and a person's struggling, bitachon. Not taking that away, that's a great thing. >> Right. >> But the premise is that the body is uh whatever, second second degree. When Mashiach comes, it says that the bodies are going to nurture the neshamos. >> So, what I'm hearing from you is that you're saying yes, we have to have emunah and bitachon. This is what this is the core foundation of Yiddishkeit. But we also have to do hishtadlus. We have to do hishtadlus with parnassah. We have to do hishtadlus with all that. It's it's it's self-explanatory. The body the the to take care of your body to regulate your nervous system is part of the hishtadlus. So, it's not taking anything away. It's actually doing what you have to do. >> I'm saying a little more than that. It's not only that that is a true a true thing that Hashem wants us to be mishtadel, to do, to take care of our bodies and everything. But there's also a deeper truth that we're unaware of and the reality is we we don't see it yet is that our bodies don't need to be taken care of just because it's a vehicle for our souls. >> Right. >> It also needs to be taken care of because we're instructed to take care of it because in the future that's actually the truth. Our bodies are greater than our souls. And what's interesting tying this back to men and women is that I was just in this in this past like 2 weeks I went to a Shiva house. >> Mhm. >> I went to a bris a bar mitzvah and a wedding. I had a life cycle in like a week. I don't know. It was very short. 2 weeks period, whatever it was. >> How was that for you? Did you have a Your emotions were going on all the different directions? >> Absolutely. But so one of the things feminism began in the '60s. And feminism is like, "Oh, women are also important. No, we're more important. Women are There's a truth to this. When Mashiach at the chuppah the woman circles the man seven times. And according to the chassidus, why does a woman circle the man seven times? It's because one day when Mashiach will come women will have a higher status than men. Which is why according to chassidus, men have more mitzvahs than women. Cuz women don't need to wear a yarmulke. They're already more connected. We our bodies it needs a little We need to prepare our bodies >> Mhm. >> to to uplift the bodies that it could then nurture the soul. That's why women will be on a greater level. I'm talking socially speaking. Today men are more respected. Men are more powerful. Men are more influential. That has shifted in the '60s. And now women their status is being raised and it's not just a 20 you know, 20th century phenomenon. It's actually preparation for Messiah when women will circle the man in status. So there you go. >> Beautiful. There are people who numb their feelings. >> Okay. >> They numb their emotions. Now those people would would are not even candidates for breath work because these people are not searchers. They're not looking to You see there's a person who shut their feelings off. A lot of pain or whatever the reason is. How you go about with with with with those people? I mean those people >> this question. I love this question. There's always going to be someone who is not ready to breath work. Then you have people who are not ready, but they could be prepared for it. And the preparation is just someone who they feel can hold space for them. So often, let's say with this friend of mine who's done psychedelics many times and he's done breath work. It took He was not ready to let go. >> Right. >> And I think it's a phenomenon that you're able to take psychedelics for so long and still not ready to let go, but that's another conversation. It just shows how much pain this person's in. >> Right. How much he's fighting it. >> Yeah, and how much he's fighting it, but there's a reason he's fighting it because of how much pain. >> Right. >> I mean with all that with all those you know all that support to still a fight. So it took it took a it took an invitation that didn't have any pressure. So for him he already knows breath work cuz his friends and he's actually sending me people to do breath work and they're coming back with good experience. So he recognizes I'm not yet ready. He recognizes that. So in his case what's going to make him ready? You have the ability I tell him. It's just your decision." So, he needed someone else to let him know you're ready. >> Mhm. >> That's all that person needed. Sometimes people come and say, "My wife wants me to do breath work." That's a horrible reason to do breath work, by the way. Horrible reason. >> Cuz the wife wants him to calm down and >> wants something from you, and that's why you're here. If you're inspired by your wife and you look up to your wife and you're like, "Wow, I see the changes it made in her. I want to try for me." It's like more like uh I asked her for a favor. I owe her one. So, I'm doing her favor. I'm going to do breath work. Fine. So, now I'm set up for a very difficult situation. >> Right. >> So, what I first do is I remove that necessity. I say, "Listen, you don't have to do the breath work. Even though you say you do, done. I only want you to do it if you're willing to try." So, now it all changes. He doesn't have to do the breath work cuz he promised his wife he's going to do the breath work. Done. That's We'll figure that out later. We can do 5 minutes and we'll be right there. >> Yeah. >> Okay, there's always been the avid. >> Yeah. >> So, now you don't have to. So, for that person we're we're going to say he has a disorder that he can't let go. Maybe he couldn't. But now, if we help him, he can. There's a famous story, and you're going to like this. >> Mhm. >> Where one of the Chabad Rebbeim the Tzemach Tzedek had seven sons. He appointed the youngest one to take over Chabad. So, one day a brokenhearted man comes to the the Rebbe, the Rebbe Maharash, and he says, "Rebbe, I did a horrible thing." Doesn't say what he did. Maybe he killed somebody. Maybe he stole. I don't know what he did. "Please help me. I'm ashamed that I've done this thing. Please help me." The Maharash looks The Rebbe Maharash at him. He thinks for a few minutes and he says, "I can't help you." "What do I do now?" "I don't know, but I can't help you. There's other people waiting." So, the guy leaves the Rebbi's room. He's like, "Holy moly. I go to the Rebbi and he can't help me." Now, the guy is totally broken. He didn't have to wait till he goes to the kois el to cry or breath work. He's crying without any of this stuff. He's walking out and he's just so in in such despair. He's on the street sobbing. The Rebbi looks at He had his oldest brother a very a great relationship. He sees the Jew crying. He says, "What happened? Can I help you?" He says, "I just came from the Rebbi, your brother, and he said he can't help me." Now, the Now, now this older brother is thinking like, "I know my brother. He's a Rebbi. He Of course he could help you." So, he runs. He says, "Wait here." Goes into his brother's office, the Rebbi's office. He says, "How can you send a Jew in pain away?" He says, "Every time someone comes to me, I see how a part of him is in me. >> Right. >> He was so low, I couldn't find it. But now that you tell me he's crying, I think he he correct Now, I think he corrected what needs to be corrected. Now, send him back. I can help him." So, when people are deregulated and they're separated and they feel like there is a wall up, we have the ability to bring them to the place it needs to be. >> Mhm. Yeah. That's beautiful. >> That's what I believe. >> But let me ask you something in the work that you're doing like we were spoke before with the father and the son. Sometimes you talk to people as far as coaching and stuff like that. Was there ever a time that you saw uh such a negative environment that you that was you know, because you sound like a person who was for peace and understand each other, see each other's side, but is there something is there is there ever a time when you have to cut off or remove yourself which was for for health reasons? >> Yes, sure. Um I mean there's also another aspect. Yes, you know, sometimes one one interesting thing that happens is that when people are so desperate that they find someone who actually cares for them then then they become codependent on that person. Right? So it could be the therapist like they need the therapist so badly >> Mhm. >> that they constantly like make the therapist their savior. >> Okay. >> When really that might be a good relationship if if you you know, it was 30 years earlier and and it was over a span of 5 minutes where you need something. Ah. >> Yeah. >> But if it's over you know, in an unhealthy way, then it's my job to realize that I'm not helping this person. I'm just I just become a I just become a pawn in their chess game. >> Right. >> And I need to leave the game. >> So you would recommend somebody who feel on the outside it seems like shalom is the thing to do. But sometimes there is a time that you're saying for for your own benefit, for your own mental health, you have to remove yourself and call it quits. >> Well, you're emphasizing on my mental health. I mean, that's true. Uh but and there's also an aspect of their mental health. >> I'm talking about their mental health. >> Right. It's like I I'll tell them it's not it's not working. It doesn't work. Or I'll say, "Listen, you're using me too much. It's not a healthy way." >> Right. >> I I like to I try to say the truth. You know, meaning and not cover it up because this way it actually helps people if it's done in a kind way. >> Right. >> And that's one of that's that's some of the ways that I see help it helps people. I just tell them the way it is. >> Yeah. And sometimes this has to be done, you know, even though it doesn't sound so nice. >> Yeah. >> But um coyote cut me. >> Yeah. Do you have this? >> Um yeah, a few times I had that um I don't know if it was affected me. So, I had to remove myself. Not so much It's not about the other person. It may be like I don't know. The other person may be a nice individual for a million other people. But if it doesn't work for me because I take over energy >> Right. >> like a sponge. >> Yeah. Yeah, you're you're right. There are times that I'm I realize that it's too intense. And I uh >> Because it they'll bring you down. There is something to it. It's not something that I'm going to put up this big uh facade. >> Correct. >> Uh people who are sponges take over and their whole life is being affected by it. >> And sometimes I think you're right. And then there's another scenario where someone wants our help, but we don't They're not going to take our energy, but it's just not something that brings us the energy to support them properly. >> Mhm. >> So, even though it's easy to say yes because they'll pay us um and maybe we'll help them a little bit. But, ideally we want to be able to help people that we're excited to help. >> And when they help themselves. >> But, it's sometimes people want to help themselves, we're just not the right fit. >> Yeah. >> So, if if if we're not getting that energy out of it, >> And it's okay. >> good to to to to say no. >> I have a final question for you. >> Okay. >> Who is your role model? >> I used to have one role model. And uh at this point, I don't have one role model. >> Mhm. >> I uh I have many role models. So, I have right? As I as I So, so that's that's the short answer. And the people that I work with, that I'm close with, I work with a lot with uh with Shimon Semp. >> Mhm. >> He's big role model. And a lot of the my closest friends. Right? I teach men how to have close relationships with men, so this way they can kind of really be seen and and and learn how to see others. Uh so, my my group of my group of friends and eventually even the people that I train become my friends. And in the areas of their where they shine, they're um they are my role model. >> Mhm. Yeah. It's beautiful. It It It you can build these type of, you know, today a friend is a rarity. >> This is an unnecessary struggle. It's unnecessary for us. Like there are so many good people in our lives already. If I could just show you how to be seen and see them, the whole universe changes. >> It's heaven on earth. >> The whole It's It's everything. And And I'll ask you, right? Do you have anyone in this world that truly knows you? My goal is that everyone that comes through my men's program experiences that people actually know them. Because at the heart of it Another question that I like to ask people is does anyone really care about you? Do you really care about other people? Many people I asked this them this question. Room of 10 men, I ask each of them this question and they say no one really cares about me or I don't know. Do you? They shine up. The truth is, if you really care about other people those people don't actually know it. And that's what I do. >> Right. But what does caring mean? I mean, if you have a good friend from when you were young >> Yeah. >> and you have this relationship with this person and there was no bumps in the road. I mean you go to his simchas, he comes to your simchas. You wish him the best and he wishes you the best. Is that called caring? >> Well, let's ask another question. Do you have to do anything to care for them? >> No, I just my heart is there for them. >> Yes. And if you did need to do something, would you? >> it. >> That's what care is. It's like I don't have to actually do anything >> to prove it or something. >> Yeah. So, what's going to help them? It's What happens now if they if you call them I know I know you like me but to that degree, thank you. It changes our life. >> You're saying it's communicating. Just say how you feel. Don't hold it inside. I mean, it's like an unwritten, unspoken >> Yes. >> feeling that I care for you, you care for me. >> It may not No, it's actually it's not actually an unspoken feeling. So, imagine Imagine you be Now, I'm sure. I'm sure. >> But imagine you felt it. >> Right. You know it. >> You know it. >> Yeah. >> So, that's That's what I'm talking about. When I was 27, 28 years old, of course, my parents, my siblings, of course, friends. I had a I had that. >> Right. >> But I still felt no one really gets it. And Matt Everything changes. So, I'm not going to tell your friends to tell it to you because I don't know your friends, but I know you now. So, if you actually told them, even if you told Even if one of those people are your wife, >> Yeah. >> and you said, "I really care about you." She's not going to say, "I know." She's going to tear up. >> Right. >> And that's going to That's literally medicine. Better than breath work, better than the psychedelics. >> What you're saying is the power of words. >> Yeah. >> Of the heart. >> Yeah. >> Rabbi Barry, >> Yes. >> keep doing what you're doing. You're doing the right thing. You're doing Hashem's work. This conversation was not only about breath work, it was about the courage to feel what we're running away from. To live in the present. You don't just educate, you transform, like you said before. And you see it. You see what your clients You love when you see a person coming out on the other side with the new insight, with the calmness. >> And I'm excited for you. >> Yeah. >> For you cuz I'm >> got a good a new friend. >> Yes, but you your friend >> Yeah. >> just got a deeper friend. >> Correct. >> That's what I'm excited about. >> My bro who came to you is a sham should give you gezint panusa and nachas and everything your heart desires. And I thank you so much for coming. >> Amen. >> Thank you. Thank you.