The Spiritual Origin of Marital Therapy

so welcome everybody and thank you so much for gracing us this thursday morning pepe is the 25th of schwartz 5782 january 27th 2022 i want to dedicate this class and loving memory in layla nishmas of my dear beloved grandmother who's the art site is today her name was tybul lipscore luba alta taiba pass rav ezreal shalom khayim barak the wife of my grandfather bianca lipskis dedicated by children grandchildren and great-grandchildren this is my mother's mother who's uh mrs taiba lipscomb's the art set is today if you watched my hanukkah clips i sent out a clip about her dancing at weddings you may have remembered the story and may her righteousness and light continue to serve as an eternal source of light and inspiration and blessing for all of her mushbacher entire family all of us and all of the jewish people thank you so i hope today we will finish the mimer um from toyota's yesterday we already had three classes on the mimer and today we continue with class number four if you haven't opened your source sheets please open your source sheets if you're in zoom i put it in the chat if you're on the yeshiva.net you have the source sheets right there i'm also going to make a commercial for the tuesday women's class we had a class this tuesday morning and uh it was on parshas pashpaten the title is it's not the trauma or the sin it's the shame that destroys you are a borrower but the owner never left you and we took one of the halacha it's one of the laws of partisan the laws of the borrower which has a very nuanced and strange apparently strange halacha about it the law of the borrower and actually explained not just the legal significance but the spiritual significance and it shows you how one technical law and aparsha really contains within it the dna of the whole terror and contains within it a life transforming paradigm that elevates and enhances a person's life so i would just suggest it i got an email this morning from a teacher he's a sixth grade teacher and he teaches this gemara because the boys in sixth grade start learning gemara fifth grade sixth grade and these are the pieces of gemara that they start learning and he says you know he's teaching it for many many years but he's always been teaching it as a technical law about a borrower who borrows an animal and the animal gets injured or you know you borrow something and the thing gets lost or gets destroyed and what are the responsibilities of the borrower and he says and now suddenly he heard the whole spiritual background behind it and he's so excited to bring that to the classroom so that was very meaningful because when we can teach sixth graders not just the law but the spirit of the law and not just the halachas which are of course critical but also to be able to experience a relationship with god with judaism in an emotional deep authentic way it's it's life-changing for these children when we can help them you know see themselves with more clarity and work through their emotions with more clarity as as children who are innocent and pure and reflect hashem's light in their love and in their heart it really is life-changing because that's the future so i would suggest that class if you have time as usual triple speed if it's too fast you could do double speed if it's still too fast you could do 1.75 and if you'll really like me you could do regular speed but i wouldn't suggest that it's too long although the bizarre says that you're not going to do a sheer more than one speed because it's music and you don't listen to music on double speed but that already that's for each person to decide okay so i in dollar column two please open your sword sheets as i said i indolid column two or page 147 we are up to the second paragraph on the page it begins with nags he says let's get back to our subject not a regular term in a minor let's get back to the subject since this mimer went off on uh i'm not going to say on a tangent because it's all part of one cohesive comprehensive idea but he went to discuss various topics so he says we're going to come back what did we learn last time we spoke about ratso we spoke it started off about the shaifer and from the shaifer he went into the concept of matantara which was spiritual and then it became physical and he started to explain the whole concept of ratsay and shave at length and how each razor brings to a deeper shoe of and then the shoe brings to a deeper rats which brings to a deeper shroove and it's the balance of fire and water is solid and then the giving of the torah allowed this to be experienced through the concrete manifestation of the mitralis and explained that length atari mitzvahs are a hybrid our synthesis of fire and water explain that lane through yakiva's words to his mystic colleagues al time room maya mayhem don't say water water somebody wrote to me says the sheer about don't say water water was out of this world and then he realized that that expression is contrary to the whole class because ruby akiva was saying don't say water water right don't say out of this world see he says but it was also in this world so that was a very nice uh very nice comeback right it was out of this world but it was in this world alzheimer's don't separate the higher waters from the lower waters an incredible insight of the altareb and then mitzvahs also have the fire the fire the the gura the symptom the structure and the discipline and the timing and it's the it's the synthesis of asian mayam that's manifested in every mitzvah and in all of tyra which is basically the concrete manifestation of ratsay and sheriff because it's fire and shiva's water and the kiddush of madantara is that the arousal from below the behavior of a person down here in the physical world creates and this arusa de la ella creates an arousal from above that the mitzvah is conferred on the physical material reality the title mitzvah is conferred on a physical reality that this action and this matter has the power to access the light of infinity why then was the torah not given to avram physically and from here he went into a whole discussion the last paragraph this was the topic of sheer number three how the physical mitzvah that's usually performed in something that is doing inorganic matter organic matter vegetation or the living animal as he gave all the examples from offerings and filling and citrus and really every mitzvah how that has the power to access the light of infinity and explain that length how the vitality of god that is invested in the various physical substances that we encounter whether it's in the earth whether it's in produce whether it's in the living organisms of animals really comes from a deeper place it comes from a much higher place and that's why we need food we live off food every person needs food to replenish them the food becomes the fuel of our organisms and the iran's real reason is because the food has divine energy a person also has divine energy but the food has an energy that's even deeper than the person on the other hand they went through what's called the process of sure is a caleb of breaking of the vessels and that's why it assumes a very physical incarnation and it could schlep you down it can even become an addiction it's binging can become an addiction but even if it's not an addiction he says even it's who's eating with with purpose and meaning still you can't compare to martial not eating 40 days on the mountain he wouldn't even eat man because the toyota is even beyond that and he explains how in the time of avraham the physical matter of the world was not yet translucent enough to be able to absorb the light of infinity that the physical could be called the mitzvah until the jews went through the whole egyptian experience and he compared it to a crucible we spoke a lot about pain causing us to shed superficiality to shed the externalities to open ourselves up to our true authenticity we spoke a lot about evil and negativity flexing its muscles and then just letting out its ear and it shows itself what it is nothing and that's when it dies it dies after it maximizes itself after it expresses itself like the leech which dies after sucking the person's blood and it's after that experience of mitzrayim that the jews were changed and the world the world which lives in our hearts as alumnus some of them was also transformed and that's when the mitzvous myself the physical mitzvah can become a vehicle and a conduit for ains for infinity he answered the question of why some of the others did things that after matante would be forbidden yaakov married two sisters amra married his aunt and he said that's a paradigm for all of history because what happened in egypt before martin taylor is similar to what happens in our exile as a prelude to mashiach but on a much deeper level because comes the whole earth in the most internalized integrated way the whole world will be a manifestation of divine oneness and it's the crucible of galas that opens up the person in the world to that ain't scythe that's a very brief summation of the of the three previous classes let's get back to our subject was given to us in a very concrete way we could learn it we can observe it we can practice it and we can practice it with our arms and with our legs and with our mouths and with our bodies and he says as we said it's fire and water together and this takes the experience of avram which was a transcendent experience he traveled and he returned he longed and he returned ratsaver and it brings it down it's manifested in the physical reality of jewish life through terraria mitzvahs as explained at length canal canal means commercial as has been explained above or caniscular ale as has been mentioned above that's just for your context got it so when we say that the toy gives us the fire and the water together so that every jew has that experience of rama venus because even if i do not operate on the consciousness of rama venue maybe there are moments in life but nonetheless the life of terror amidst this in this world the daily life there is is a very concrete manifestation of avraham's flocks of avraham's movement between messiah nonetheless the question is how do two opposites exist in our life fire and water that the water should not extinguish the fire or the fire should not dry up the water the fact is that fire and water are opposites they can't coexist and when we're saying that toyota is a synthesis of both how exactly does that happen how can the mitzvahs of toyota give us and trigger in our soul the experience of rajya and shu of asian mayan without the water either extinguishing the flames or the flames drying up the water by avraham of what again the my missile avraham avinu experienced fire and water spiritually we start from the physical we start from the mitzvahs and that creates arousal it opens us up to the experience the point of terror mitzvos is not just to practice it in a tedious boring physical fashion devoid of spirituality that's not the point yes a person does a mitzvah just eating matzah is a mitzvah and it's divine but the point of every mitzvah is also like he said before that the physical action should arouse a consciousness there should be mindfulness there should be a sensitivity to it that's why our sages instituted brachas before avi mitzvah because they wanted a meditation before you do a mitzvah before i put on the villain i want to meditate that's the blessing what i'm doing before i light chaba's candles i want to meditate before i light hanukkah does i want to meditate before i blow the shaffer before i put on my titties before i put on my talos whatever it is there's a bracha before how then can this trigger and arouse this experience without one compromising the other some of us tend more to be fiery and some of us tend to go more to water which depends on your personality right some people have a very strong element of fire in them some people have a very strong element of water in them says the altar alzheimer's this the passage says and we say it every day god makes peace in his heights so our sages say as he mentioned earlier in the mimer that bimiraim of in his heights there is the malach the angel of fire there is the angel of water and they should obliterate each other but they don't because isa shalom and that's what we say so today says these are the key words shalom always encompasses two opposites and shalom integrates two opposites why leficia who god oil mishnahim because peace transcends both the taliban and therefore both opposites the paradoxes can be subsumed in the reality of peace that transcends both so the al-taraba says you cannot synthesize the two opposites of fire and water which all of tyra and mitzvahs is that combination and our spiritual experience is comprised of that paradox if we don't have isa shalom we need a sheller shalem always is about two opposites because if not you don't need peace the concept of making peace is making peace just like in a very practical way you say we got to make peace between enemies right so that's in an extreme manifestation of of of conflict and war you got to make peace but on every level what is peace peace is you're reconciling based off of two paradoxes but how not by destroying one not by getting rid of one by connecting both of them but how could they how could you fire and water opposites he says because peace is gudl mishnah that's always the key peace transcends both peace is not fire shalom is not water it's greater than both and because it's greater than both it creates a space where they can both be subsumed they can become bottle they can become they can transcend the need to be stuck in their own form and become nikhla become subsumed become included become part of the cloud nichol comes to the word cloud become part of the shalom the peace which is larger than both and therefore could contain them both and they can both coexist in that largeness now this is a very profound idea i cannot make peace if i don't transcend both i can't make peace by taking sides i was once speaking to a very respectable very respected marriage therapist here in muncie and he's been very successful with helping couples enhance their marriages and i was once talking to him about his methodology and how he works with the couples and he says that he told me this to me candidly he said the greatest compliment or one of the greatest compliments i ever get in my work is that both the husband and the wife feel that i'm on their side the wife feels that i'm completely on her side because they come in right and the husband is like you know she doesn't like me she has all these things against me i don't know why i'm a good guy i work hard i'm trying to be a good husband and the wife is like he completely doesn't get me doesn't understand me doesn't relate to me he's out for lunch it's too often it's two different opposite world views he sees the world from his vantage point she sees the world from her vantage point he sees the relationship from his perspective she sees the relationship from her perspective this is called base in their minds there are two worlds and they're not being reconciled that's why they're coming to therapy so he told me he says she comes to me and says when they have a private session you are completely on my side i like it and he feels the same he says that's the greatest comment i said i asked the stupid question whose side are you on whose side are you on but that's the point there was a foolish question the point is you can only bring them together if two things happen you're on neither side and therefore you're on both sides you're on her side and on his side and that's what al-tareb is saying you need to bring together the two worlds you can't take sides it's a great joke about this brother who moves in to this couple's home he moves into his sister and his brother-in-law's home the problem is they have a studio apartment they really have one bedroom and another half a bedroom and this brother is a bachelor and he doesn't have a job so he's just there with them for days and weeks and months in the beginning they enjoyed it but after a while it just became too stressful so they're trying to figure out how they could dismiss them from their home in a cordial and respectful way but nothing is successful you know they speak to him they speak to his mother nothing is happening so finally in desperation this husband and wife decide they're going to make a spill that night during dinner the husband is going to start eating the soup and instead of telling his wife the soup is delicious as he would usually do he's going to tell his wife the soup is so salty it's horrible and she's going to say no there's no salt in the soup and he's going to say wow you can't even taste how am i expected to eat something from somebody who makes something that they can't even taste and she's gonna say you don't know how to taste it's not salty and they're gonna get into a huge war about the soup he's gonna say that the soup is horrible and she's gonna say that the soup is splendid and in the midst of the conflict one of them is going to turn to her brother and say what is your opinion about the soup and whoever he agrees with the other one will throw him out of the house and because it's done in a time of heated passion and conflict and argument somehow it will be accepted this is what you do when you're desperate anyway dinner time comes and she serves the soup and her husband starts eating the soup honey usually you're good but tonight you really struck out such horrific soup i've never tasted in my life he's like what are you talking about and he's like it's salty it's disgusting it's repulsive i would not feed it to my dead enemies and she's like you know nothing about food and you don't know how to compliment me and he's like this is horrible soup and she's like you can't even taste you lost your taste buds this is wonderful so we're getting into this whole fight a third world war breaks out in the house of course it's all fake and at some point it's the moment of truth the moment they've been waiting for he turns to his brother-in-law and he says what's your opinion about the soup and the brother-in-law looks at his sister looks at his brother-in-law and in a very quiet soothing voice he says i'll be honest with you i have to live here for another few months i can't take any signs so [Laughter] right [Laughter] it's a joke but it's not a joke but sometimes we get into fights over other people's problems you ever see couples get into fights because of other people's issues because of how late or early we're going to the bar mitzvah we're going to the wedding over the chevy brothers that we're supposed to make are not supposed to make you allow yourself to get into a fight with somebody you love most over somebody else that you know that's not even so connected to you but what this brother was saying is anecdotally saying something very deep if i want to be a peacemaker if i want to be an ambassador of peace i cannot get stuck in either side because then i become part of the problem rather than being part of the solution and we always say you're either part of the problem or you're part of the solution so the altarebia gives us the formula he says shalom always has to bring together two worlds and the only way shalom can do that the only way peace the only way i can become a representative of peace is god oil mishnayim i have to become larger than both i have to be able to see the bigger picture back to the marital therapy i have to be able to see the world of oneness in which both of their views can have place i need to bring together the views i can't obliterate i can't sit down and convince the husband you're wrong you're dead wrong or tell the wife you're wrong and he's right you lost the plot even if you'll be successful short term ultimately you're undermining their individual experience and that will come back to bite the marriage i hope you understand what i'm saying you can't undermine people's individual experiences because that will not be able to help them with the staying power to be in this relationship in an enthusiastic and integrated way so what do i do i have to create a space where both of the world views where both of their emotional experiences can become and not only that talent they have to be able to lose their bite that creates the conflict because they become subsumed in this larger view so here in two lines dr ebba told us how we make peace obviously there has to be good will on both sides there has to be an openness if i'm just going to tenaciously cling to my stubbornness because of my own traumas and insecurities and i'm not open to this so that i'm not open but if i'm open to listening if i at least want if i'm frustrated to the point that at least i want to grow i want to change i want to have a better life i want to have a happier home so then i could be open to this talib and by critical words taylor vanes create a space where there's a clown that they can both be subsumed and then they can transcend the individual space that creates conflict and that's what bitters so how do we create peace between fire and water and the altar says by the way my metaphor is not just a metaphor dr rabbit says on the coat of turtle he once learned i learned to mind was one of the first my modern we learned here in muncie kate said miraculous and he says a relationship between a husband and a wife is a relationship between water and fire that's what he says you have to figure out who's who but it's a relationship between water and fire and alternative even says that's why at a wedding the minig is you pick up the hustle you lift up the huss and on the shoulders you lift up the collar on a chair i always thought it was just a cute thing and you know what although says he said it at a wedding he says no it's essential because only when you lift them up to a higher place that's larger than the individual dimensions of fire and water can they become integrated and not only are they living together but they become synthesized and they become something much larger than they are individually that's what happens to the fire in the water the fire and the water create a new reality that includes and encompasses both but for this you have to find that place that's god oil michele it's larger than both so we lift up the hustle and the kala as he puts it in that miami from amalek to save of kalam from that's the mayama kate said maractin you can learn that we have it on the issue with that so the altitude says but you need to oyster sholem imran so in judaism we have this flux we have this paradox there's the water of judaism and there's the fire of judaism this is the infinity of taina cold water and there's the gevura of torah called discipline structure strength simpson this brings us back to the kyle hasheifer um why so let's understand what happens when you have these two angels the angel of fire and angel of water each one lives in his own world my world view is very different than the world would you but when these two angels come before god what do they recognize not that he doesn't recognize their individuality they recognize that their individuality is part of a larger picture it's part of a large organism that's gudlemish name in others i don't get stuck in my individuality and that's the key in a relationship the key of a successful relationship is not that i surrender who i am for you and you surrender who you are for me so that we both are not authentic because every good relationship needs attachment but i also need to be authentic if i just feel that i'm i'm i'm i'm giving up who i am and i can't be real in the relationship how deep can the relationship be unless i become a smarter right it's time to mute yourself have to mute yourself please huh yeah could you mute yourself or if not i'm gonna mute it's not a threat it's just what i have to do okay thank you so therefore have it so so what's the point so the medra says that and gavriel is you have the spiritual force of fire and water but in the presence of hashem they're at peace all you say shalom yes i'll call you all and there's an old vart that when you go back oh he says shalom you go back three steps what do you do you remember isis shalom right you incline your head to the left right like this is shalom like this and then as i and then in the middle yeah in other words shalom doesn't mean it's an old varchan doesn't mean i obliterate one of you i go this way and i go that way and then we go to the middle we have to bring out the middle the kava and saw you that which synthesizes both what happens in the presence of the king they don't have to get obliterated but they realize that their individuation is a manifestation it's a trickle from something larger that combines both of them and therefore there is room for you in my world view there's room for me and were in your world view but for this you have to be able to have that presence of something larger that could be called a relationship that can be called the divine that can be called the ultimate mission the ultimate purpose says this is what the chauffeur is the synthesis of fire and water and torah needs to be able to have that element of hashem that is not defined by fire and not defined by water and therefore the two can not only coexist but become one because each of them becomes a channel for infinity and each of them finds their unique place as a manifestation of that larger oneness that synthesizes them so he says now we'll understand the shaifer he asked in the beginning why was there a shay for my mouth did we need musical accompaniment and even if yes there are much nicer instruments than the schaefer says you blow from the narrow side from the narrow mouth and then the voice travels through the horn through the ramshorn and it broadens and it emerges from the other side so the uniqueness of the chauffeur that's the uniqueness of the cyphers i think the chauffeur two [Music] and i blow from the from the narrow side if you start blowing from the broadside you ever tried you ever tried long traffic from the broadside let's see i'll show you you're gonna hear you have to blow from the narrow side and that's when the voice is restricted it goes in through the narrow side but then it comes out from the broadside and it travels far and wide [Music] of your says unto hill and we say it in halo i call out to you minhamata from distress from restricted spaces respond to me god from america from expansiveness ah that's the shayfer mean you know where this niggin is from repton when the rabbit would blow schaefer the laboratory he would say that so can be fought kia shaifa this was his negan mean i call out to you min maitzer respond to me from expansiveness how do we understand this passage i'm calling out from the stress but please answer my prayers and give me expansiveness allow me to resolve my tension to resolve my distress to heal my wounds says the altar yes but there's something much deeper peter means a space of narrowness what does it mean doesn't only mean a place of distress i'm pressured i'm anxious i have a deadline i can't deal with it i have too much on my head this is much something much deeper let's take nature at its core it's a space where i get in touch with that which i can't comprehend villain no thought as it says in zoey no thought can grasp ultimate reality ah so minhammed sir is actually it opens me up to the ultimate asp there's no room for it it overwhelms me i mean i made center overwhelms me my brain my brain doesn't feel that it can wrap itself around us that's what makes it makimsar in other words what he's explaining here about matzah is that it's something that's beyond hasaga it's beyond comprehension i feel like this is something so much larger than me i can't hold on to it i can't grasp it that's minhammed sir what does this mean in a person's life whenever i come in contact with something that's truly above me truly transcendent my thoughts cannot hold on to it i can't find myself there comfortably that's called minhametsa it challenges me it challenges me because i i can't get it i can't control it i can't own it it's something that startles me it shocks me it overwhelms me it's a makhamsar shaine musa i want to understand things because that which i can understand i could control that which i can understand i feel it's inside of me i got it you know i got it and now i could relax but this is something that keeps on unbeaconing to me something that my thought can't grasp so if my thought can't grasp i feel like i'm in a place of of of such narrowness like i really don't get it because it's something that's loomed so much larger than me that's what creates matesiah so la maila me colasogus it's beyond all comprehensions it's actually the deeper truth of aids slave the deeper truth of dfinity that's la maile mekola sagas the word hasaga means comprehension the word saga also means grasp i want to grasp i want to attain a saga means to attain because when i comprehend i attain when i grasp i comprehend attaining something is what comprehension is when i really get it i'm like okay i got it now you can relax sit back relax and enjoy the show sit back relax and that's america what's matr mates it is my thoughts are being challenged you know why because my thought can't grasp it my brain can't wrap itself around it he says it's it's beyond hasaga to be able to be okay with the fact that i'm not okay to be able to be okay with the fact that i don't get it there's a humility here there's a very deep vulnerable humility in this process of no makshava grasping truth because it's hagas and that's where the shoifer begins minhammeta karasi the call of the shaifer is the calling out of that space vu indian schaefer and this is the connection to sheikh which comes from the word shaproom like we learned earlier in the beginning of the nightmare he said that schaefer is higher than all the instruments i it's not as musical it's not as geshmaq it's not as splendid but it's the beginning of it he says sha marseille beautify your actions on its own the scheifer is a simple sound too it's not sophisticated it doesn't have the charm and the colorfulness and the beauty and the delight and the splendor and the glory and the geshmach of the violin or of the cello or of the harp or of the guitar or of the piano as dalton said in the beginning of the mimer he said it's called pashut it has a simplicity to it but it's mikhail ratano it's the source of the pleasures and that's why it's called shaproom beautify your actions because it's the source of tainuk because shayfer goes into minha meza it goes into the place that's beyond our saga it's beyond taenuk it's the source of the tanmogim it's the source of the pleasures as we learned in the first class very good place to be it's the beginning we'll see in a moment that's why we start off mean hamatsar karasiya naniba merkovia the merkhav the expansiveness always begins with maidser why because whenever there is serious growth from one place to another place i'm going into a place of distress right this is very important whenever there's serious growth from one place to another place i'm going through a place of distress because i'm going out of my comfort zone when somebody tells me a truth about myself that i never integrated before it's going to distress me it's not going to be easy to hear because it's going to challenge my paradigms i'm not going to feel expansive i'm gonna feel distressed even emotionally you're challenging me you're putting me in a corner you're distressing me i can't make peace with what you're saying i don't know how to integrate it but that's an invitation to open yourself up to something that's larger something that's deeper maybe a truth that's very uncomfortable maybe a truth that i could never face and because of that it's the beginning of a tremendous process of discovery so the voice of the schaefer is undifferent it doesn't have that sophistication that nuance right but it's ultimately the source of differentiation it's ultimately the source of sophistication sophistication sophisticated music the altered says begins with a shaffer and all music is about longing to that which is beyond that's what real music is and he continues and he says the posix says famous pasta can tehillim many say it when they put on after they put on their talos ki with you is the source of life again he brought us in the beginning of the mimer hashem is the source of life he's the source of pleasure he is the source of pleasure but the words is with you is the source of life with you in other words don't define god as the source of life with you as the source of life because the ain't safe itself is even beyond pleasure and that's the mates are that you're experiencing matzah is that the antithesis of pleasure it's distress but he says the reason there is distress is because you're reaching the source of pleasure you're reaching the source of tainock with you is the source of pleasure god is the source of pleasure god is the source of life but that's called imha it's with you it's also subservient to you it doesn't capture you it doesn't define you the source of pleasure is beyond any individual pleasure um from there i call out to ya yud and the calling out always is with yud the youth is the first letter the higher your the seminal point it's known as the second letter is the hay which is already the expansiveness it's known as bina which is associated with the broadness of the river that draws from the spring in which the water trickles very slowly and very condensed and then it expands in the river that's like father and mother the seminal point the epiphany the seed of life which is then expanded there is a meditation a contemplation you know with the lightning the epiphany ever in pitch dark in the wilderness and suddenly there's a lightning and there's amazing incredible light and it casts its luminescence on the entire space that you're in but it also dissipates the lightening comes and the lightening goes that's that moment of revelation that moment of epiphany that comes from a vacuum from an apparent vacuum then there's beena is already concretizing the seed conceiving it developing it into a fetus so the passage says minhammatsar karasi udkay karasi yud and hey because the maidset is referring to the essence which is beyond what i can wrap my brain around which is beyond what i can grasp and maintain and contain and hold on to so from that space corrosion i call out to utk i call out to you and hey which is represents which is again a place in which i never control the idea in khakha you never control the idea you don't get it it gets you you can't prepare for the epiphany the epiphany suddenly comes in it's not something that you can initiate through ego through preparation it's something that comes from absolute humility and then there's the hay that expands the idea that's like the river which broadens the water that comes out and trickles out of the well so the passage says you start off karasi youth from that place of matzah that's where everything begins to emerge emerges and aiden emerges there's aiden and there's ghanaian the terrorist says embarrasses the river comes out of aden to irrigate the garden so aidan is beyond ganedon so he says from there is the beginning of an aden and tyra where admiration is placed in an aiden to work it to toil it and to guard it and to create a garden of eden and the revelation of the pleasure and the comprehension of the summers so you have aden and granadan it starts off with aden and then the river irrigates the garden from the water that it receives from eden aiden represents the core of pleasure before it's comprehended before it's manifested that's that's like the epiphany the lightening and then this ganedin the way the eden translates into a garden where there's much more comprehension that's why hazal said that in ganadon the souls enjoy the radiance of the shrine that's the tainog that's the hassaga so adam is put into ganeden to work it of the ola to reveal the aiden in the garden that's adam's job to reveal the in the beena so i mean from the mates are from the source of everything which i don't comprehend and that's why it's called a place of distress because i don't get it i don't understand it i suddenly feel my inadequacy and that's what real distress means don't look at the distress externally look at the distress from a place that you're touching something that you can't comprehend everything that distresses you is an opportunity to transcend you hear what altareb is saying whenever i'm in a moment of distress it's an opportunity to go out of my box my thought process is being shaken it's being shocked in other words i'm touching something that my thought can't grasp great because from there karasi from there you can access from there you can access bina from there you can access aiden from there you can access gon as he says from there that's the beginning where everything is created from that nothingness from that point of intangibility from that seed that decomposed in the ground that's where amorphous and a transformation happens from there emerges from there aiden emerges from their torah emerges that's the scheifer the schaefer is not pleasurable it's not a sound that you can wrap your ecstasy around and melt away in this beautiful concerto the shoifer is the source of the pleasure and therefore it's very simple there's ro it's raw it's a raw voice it's the source of all the pleasures it's the makker hatanoge but from there you have from there you have bina everything emerges from there both sir from maitza karasi that's where you can access which is a new idea a new transcendent idea a new epiphany which will then be developed and concretized in bina and through this you'll respond to me in expansiveness just like the voice the sound of the truth it comes out from a narrow space i blow into the narrow side of the shaft to and from there it comes out it travels and it comes out from the broader side of the chauffeur so the altitude says the mates are which accesses utk then comes back in an expansive way anonymous and then there's the lower you then hey the first uh k is the higher you then hey the higher member the way you and hey come down in a much lower space where there's expansiveness where this comfort where it's very integrated in my identity wow gives us the process it starts off with matzah and the mates are accesses the youth and the hay and then you can get the anonymity the response from a place of america broadness integration because now there's the lower you then hey what's the lower you rendez we go now back to the water water everything is connected rabia akiva said don't say water water you remember you'd bring the lower you'd represents you this bittle it's seminal there's an element of humility it's the lower water tata you'd be safe it represents the higher level of that's what he spoke about the first yud minhamet sakarasi utk that's the higher you're allah and then the lower level of wisdom there's you'd be rushed for you'd be safe there's the unit on the top and this dude all the way at the end and then you have a hey who pregnant with simone shaba and then the lower hay is the way the tattoos translated into a fire and a thirst in the heart meaning you have the utk in the beginning of the pasta that's minhamatsar that's the godliness which transcends my comfort zone and that's why it's called the higher ud and the higher hay the way it comes down in a more integrated fashion it's called the lower yod and the lower hay and that is the rothsayan shave in a person's life the lower ud is as he said the way toyota comes down into wisdom that i could comprehend wisdom that i can actually comprehend and the hey is the fire the passion the thirst that comes from the heart i stand corrected the word is not comprehension it's the way the wisdom comes down into a lower space where the human being can comprehend it you remember he spoke before about maya maya that all of toyota emerges in a place that's where there's no comprehension and then toyota comes out of my law and it comes down to where there's an epiphany in my mind that i can then grasp so ultimately this is the way it comes down into a space of chakra but it's a lower space it's the same concept it's but it's not the way it's in the source it's the way it comes down into a lower space because you remember earlier abe akiva was telling his colleagues don't say water water it's not episode what's water water my emilia name is it's the higher yield which is beyond toyota being revealed it's tired as complete infinity that's toyota the weights and hashems there's no tangible manifestation of it it's pure ain't safe and then arises and then trader comes out of hachem as the tortoise says and it comes down into your tata which is my entertainment where the person can have con toil and have an effort and have an epiphany and then the comes into bena and then it comes into mitsubis and rebecca said don't separate between the water so that's now he's going back to that maya mayam those two youths the higher youth and the lower youth is it clear of course that's why you used to do it that's they call it key words that connect it you'd be relation versus the higher you and the lower youth you'd know in its source and you'd keep in its lower manifestation decoding yeah decoding my meleonum has to be decoded because you know it's a good example you know programming those of you who deal with programming you know you look at the back end you look at the coding most people you know when i look at it it's pure gibberish it it completely senses i remember i once turned to my programmer he was writing programs writing a program for the shiva.net and he he works many hours of the day and of the night he has a few he had a few jobs at the time and i looked at him and i said you do it was just spontaneous i said you do this all day he says yes and it's much more logical than you think it is because all i saw was you know you know those symbols in programming one symbol another similar and doesn't end it doesn't end it doesn't and i'm like what if we could just erase one of those symbols he says oh yeah you're going to destroy everything don't touch it so the point is it's just a good metaphor how on the back end the source of everything is just incomprehensible but not because not because it's gibberish because it's beyond it's beyond my ability to wrap my brain around it so which is the source of torah it's called maya malyanim that's the hyud it's beyond comprehension it's beyond gilroy it's beyond manifestation and then there's mayam tattooing the way it assumes it assumes the incarnation which then will come in tabina and so forth so that's what he says there's the yud and then there's the hay and the hay is taking the same believe nubiana love and allah to bring it into the fire and the thirst in the heart because as he said before the thirst comes from beena and that's the hey she calls her nimsh when i made sure it all begins minhammed sir it all begins from a place of distress it starts off with going back to the source of pleasure this this yeah the chauffeur is an invitation for paradox it's an invitation to synthesize paradox because jude and the hay the yuri and the hay are two opposites you it is i in and hey is yesh you it is intangible hey is tangible hey espina can we make peace between you and hey both the higher you then hand the lower you're then hey the scheifer makes peace between the two mean hamatsar karasi utke the maitzar allows you to access the yud and the hey and then allows you to experience the merch of the expansiveness of both the youth and the hay remember maitza is always a higher reality where you find yourself narrow you find yourself being small what's mate sign mesa means i'm crushed right i'm small i'm fuck-fetched i'm so small i can't flex my muscles i'm in a state of bitter i'm in a state of silence i'm not in a state of expansiveness of integration i'm in a space of of challenge i'm i'm i'm uptight but i don't mean uptight here like a person who's uptight i mean uptight in the sense that i find my i find myself in a very inadequate place in a very small place i look in the mirror and i see i see smallness one of the rebels once said as the altar is in v clean i meant jesus how small a person is and how great he or she can become and it's dependent on each other if i don't know how small i am i don't know how great i can become because the greatness that i think i am or i could become is really much smaller than it really is only when i know how small i am do i also know how great i can become because it's the smallness that allows me to achieve a greatness that i could never achieve without it do you understand your lessons very good very good so the word mates are we translate as distress but really in this mind it shouldn't be translated as distress you're right it's not the stress it's awe it's it's reverence it's it's the smallness that comes from touching something that's completely beyond me where my comprehension ceases and that's called a narrow space not in the sense that i'm distressed but in the sense that i find that all the spaces that i created for myself are too narrow to grasp reality okay now i got the words i didn't have the words before let me let me let me let me say this again because i i i didn't have the words before i didn't have the ices it just came in now because of uh aviva aviva's question because of of means spring aviva means spring so she uh she allowed the words to blossom it's just a blossom minha meza means it's a space that i feel all my space we all create spaces right we create spaces we create homes and spaces and careers and ideas it's my space this is where i live in physically emotionally when i suddenly realized that all these spaces are too small to grasp reality that's called minamiza i suddenly realized that all my spaces simply can't contain what there is to contain because even my thoughts my transcendentals can't grasp so my thought can't be a space so all my makhaimais become minhametsa they become too narrow because they can't contain they can't channel that which is beyond channeling so that's the experience of maidser minhammed sir that's what he says it's a mokken sar mean amitsar is interesting i think that's what he means it's a space of course that's the key that's how you transform the stress into a very meaningful and positive growth joined experience all joining this class is because that's why we're getting awe because we're even here yeah yeah it's not running away from that which i don't understand we often want to run away i want to go back to my place right just i want to go back to my space i already have a space i have a closet i have a closet i have a locker room this is my space i know it i'm familiar i control it when i the real experience of chauffeur is as mean hamates are suddenly i realize all my spaces they're so narrow they just can't contain reality so what do you do so people do one of two things either they reduce reality to their space they reduce reality to their space and they shut down from anything larger in other words they fit the reality into that pre-existing space or they let go of space and there is a painful experience there because letting go is painful in a good way it's shedding it's shedding layers letting go of space is very very hard i'm saying this because it's important to acknowledge the pain of it because if i don't acknowledge the pain of it when i feel the pain i'm gonna get very startled enough to get startled when somebody tells you something that's really challenging your paradigms for example my natural inclination is you know fight or flight right fight tell them you're wrong you're judgmental you're horrible or just run away but that's not the chauffeur the chauffeur is to stay in the place of matzah to put your voice into that mazar to to really to really embrace to really embrace that because that's karasi that will access a new yud that will access a new hay and anonymous view and then it will be integrated but it's going to be integrated in a much broader way so the scheifer can make peace that's the only thing that can make peace between fire and water between and bina between ratsay and shaiv the peace between the two levels is done through the cipher why because the scheifer transcends a particular individual identity it's like we spoke before about couples therapy about relationships if i take sides i already lost the plot i have to open myself up to a place where both worlds can merge into oneness and that's the power of the shaifer the simplicity of the shaifer that comes from an undefined oneness even when it comes out in chachman bina which is yud and hey there could be shalom isa shalom because in the source of pleasure there is always room for the different manifestations of pleasure but for this i have to go to the source of pleasure rather than to an individual expression of it and that's a very profound transformative process and that's why the kailhasheifer is the one that could combine utke minhamatsar karasi utke which is also connected to the two experiences of ratsoy and shroff and as he said earlier ratseyan shaiv is the difference of khachma and bino because shave is where i realize that i don't get you i i can't comprehend you i can't contain you and therefore i have to have that respect that aw that's and bina which is associated be nalib of assembly be nubina creates the thirst the comprehension creates thirst for more and more and more because i feel like i'm a good and i feel that kinship that closeness and that rhythm of life is essential to the heartbeat it's essential to oxygen to inhaling exhaling expanding the heart contracting the heart and that's the very rhythm of life and every shoe brings to a deeper rat so and the rats he brings to a deeper shove and brings to a deeper rotc and that relationship that rhythm continues and the paradox can exist because something that is higher than fire and water and therefore doesn't get threatened not by fire not by water because it could contain both realizing that each one is part of the rhythm of a relationship part of the rhythm of life and if i don't have to squash or crush any one expression in order to feel safe and secure but the only way i can do that is when i go to that place of matzah when i go into that place where my spaces become narrow and therefore i reach out to that which my thought can't grasp and can't comprehend and i have no space for it and that really creates a whole new dimension of awareness generally this is associated with the silence of davenink which is because davening has different stages there's the part of davening where we say the blessings before shema and then we say shman over there there's a lot of fire we speak about the angels right remember there is commotion there is intensity there is tremendous passion boyerus camarilla it speaks about the fire of the angels val zednam of asaka-sarakiya kanthayam ushares shakan fam nicarafi fossum biraci mata lamela british priest and that's where the navier haskell speaks about that under the heaven they have straight wings what's this idea that angels have wings we imagine angels with physical wings he says no wings represent longing when a bird soars upward with its wings you know you sit in the plane and you watch those wings that allow the plane to take off from a terrestrial domain into a higher space so the wings of the angel represent the ability to fly up to dream it's the ambition it's the yearning it's the aspiration it's that longing there's something very rich and beautiful about it you're flying up from a lower place to a higher place because you have this passion that takes you out of your present domain and that's what the angels are doing that's the anger the wings the wings of the angels you know you speak about the wind beneath the wings or that which allows your wings to to soar to fly that's the russo the is what allows them to fly the kosovo takasa this is under the heaven what does this mean says there was a heaven above the angels that was frozen as ice frozen as eyes doesn't mean coldness it means bittle it means sometimes in a state of absolute humility i'm frozen in a good way i'm not expansive i'm not expressing myself because there's a silence there's an awe so there's what the angels experience and therefore they long to it but above that is arakia and that's the ice that's the that's the bittle so there's two levels when i'm under the ice when i'm under the heaven and i could still comprehend i yearn for more i want more i want more i want more that's why he says takasarakiya under the heaven kanfeyam yeshares their wings are straight and directed they're flying and soaring but when you reach to a higher place when you reach that rakia suddenly your saga experience is bitter this is where i cease to comprehend this is where i cease to understand and then i can't fly anymore and that's when there's shuv that's when you're returning that's the ratsay and the shave so that i i soar but all soaring is because i appreciate that which is ahead of me that which is beyond me that's what he says wow so we have three stages there's the stage of ratsay this is the stage of shave and that's when there is a silence there's a humility there's a reverence there's an oar there's a boundary ratsay comes from comprehension shruff comes from a deeper place that i can't comprehend and then he says the passage continues this is all explaining heskel chapter 1 the version of the chariot so it is the angels with the wings and then there's the heaven which is like ice which represents the bittle the silence the shiv and then he says there's a voice rascal says above the heaven on their heads and that's when they shed all their wings what an expression the angels let go of all their wings they stopped flying why he says what is that about he says that's the shaifer the shaifer which is above their akiya baam um that's when they're standing that's what fila represents krishman the brachas is the fire the fire the rats the fire but then when i reach that rakia you can hear the voice that's above the rakia above that heaven and in that space there is no ratsa he says and there's no shuff he says the razor becomes subsumed and even the shrub becomes subsumed they both become one and it's not defined not as ratsuri and not as shuff there's three stages there's razor and there's the shove and there's the point where they become completely one because of that which synthesizes both of them and combines both of them and then there's no contradiction in other words the mittal rebbe the balatanya's son when he explains this mimer he gives a metaphor that in his day and age was very practical because monarchy was very authentic and the czar was considered something very special you know there was that element of a king of melech so it's hard for us to relate to it but it's worthwhile to repeat his example he says if a person a regular citizen gets a summons that the czar wants to see him he says wow this is like very it's very intense it's like there's a lot of excitement and there's a lot of nervousness and there's a lot of anticipation and a lot of longing and i'm gonna get to speak to the czar and and connect to him and see him and appreciate him again we don't appreciate this because uh you know i don't know if you would have this with joe biden or even with donald trump or bill clinton or barack obama maybe but you know the kings of yore was like this this sense of absolute respect and then and sometimes it was you know pure tyranny but the point is the mellor had that you know that charisma that that rich sense of of royalty and aristocracy and monarchy says when you're being invited you have all this excitement or anticipation he says that's as long as you're not close to the palace he says once you get to the palace now the russia is substituted with shiv he says now there's there's just a certain humility that takes over why because as he's about to enter into the king like there's a certain frozenness frozen is that comes from an awe and a respect and a silence and a reverence and he says that's the two levels of the angels right there's the angels flying with their wings mitaka syracha and then there's therakia where there's ice but he says this is all when you see the palace he says then when he comes in to the king himself he says now it's not rotsi and it's not shave anymore now the eye just seizes i think one way of of understanding a little bit of this muscle could be understood in a relationship with a real real sadiq sadiq who really has no ego who's a manifestation of hashem's light a real real real rabbit where there's three types of three levels in the relationship there's a relationship of razor which is very powerful there's ecstasy and there's delight and there's yearning and longing and looking forward and then there's an element of awe and reverence which comes from boundaries which is the concept of shaiv in which i become karak and that's terrakia the person realizes the the the you know how much i don't know how much how much i don't understand how much i don't comprehend and that's an element of truth there's a silence there's a humility there i'm not ambitious now on the contrary um there's an element of withdrawal in a positive sense an element of silence it's like the respect in a relationship and then there's the actual encounter the person comes in into the presence of the rebel and then it's not razi it's not shy it's complete oneness and in complete oneness there's no experience it's not an experience i'm longing i'm not moving i'm humble i'm not humble i'm not not humble i'm not in awe i'm not not in awe my eye became subsumed in a larger reality now in our culture we don't talk about these things because we're all afraid of being abused and exploited and manipulated but that's a pity because we don't have models that we can experience this with but we're talking about a real authentic rebbe who is not manipulative and it's not on the contrary is completely humble is a conduit for god so these experiences are really very rich because they allow the soul to dance the souls dance is comprised of three experiences ratsay and shuv and that which is beyond experience and when you go beyond experience ratsay and trevor not a contradiction and that's the shayfer that's the source of the pleasure where you and hey can come together so he says in davening we have these stages there's the blessings before krishna and then there's kriyashma and then this is silence why silence because the silence represents that which is beyond razia and beyonce and that's where the two come together the the two come together and although it says um and then comes expansiveness because ultimately we have to integrate i can't stay in the palace all my life i'm going back to my home i'm going back to my space i can't live in spacelessness he says then your integration becomes much broader for six speaks in yeshaya about peace he will make peace for me peace for me so hazal say in sanhedrin 99 peace in the higher entourage peace in the lower entourage above and peace below means that the higher and the lower become one there's no contradiction between the two and that's what the territory wants to do create peace between fire and water that the unit and the hay the higher unity become one the lower unit and hey become one and the consciousness above becomes the consciousness below so that there is complete integration so even when i so does be go back to my space i can synthesize both of these movements and what this means in a person's life is it's a very powerful idea that the contradiction of razia and shaiv only exists when i'm stuck in a place of experience now we're always in a place of experience right but when i can experience that which is beyond experience i can really open myself up to that then roxy and scheife don't contradict each other and the alternate finish is the last the last few lines here let's do the last few lines it's the top of page 148 we're going to learn for like another five minutes visel versus now we'll understand the idea of the nation watching seeing the sounds the fire and the scheifer koilos heymam sounds represent just as physically the physical sound brings the breath from the heart and it communicates it through your mouth verbally it's an allegory it's a metaphor for infinity the light of infinity becoming actualized from a place of concealment into revelation that's called coil so when we say they saw the coil it's there was a revelation of infinity the coil is lost in rabbit kamamer azal it says many sounds because hazal say that zorcher the reason there are many sounds is because ghazal speak about that somebody who goes to a wedding and brings joy to a groom and a bride which is the peace between a groom and a bride fire and water they merit torah which was given through five sounds it says there's five times kailis tito was given through five sounds he says it's also five times water in the story of voracious in the creation of water on monday the division of water mayam is mentioned five times on sunday light is mentioned five times we don't realize this but there's light five times water five times so that's uh and mayam and then the sounds by titus says five times water represents acet that which comes down to the lower space where infinity is manifested and comes down into our daily lives and into our mitzvahs so the kailis the five sounds represent the five times water the five times light you get the turtle which was given through five sounds there's five elements of hesse those are the five fingers of the right hand just like this five elements of guru which are the five fingers of the left hand now he's not getting here into the five it's beyond the shear but the point is says that you could see the manifestation all the sounds because there's different frequencies just like when i create sounds and it creates sound waves and it travels at different frequencies so there's different sounds through which the ain't scythe is manifested in our life daily through our title through our mitzvahs through our living so those kailis those kailas represent that gilui that that revelation so you have the water and now you have the fire which is the lightening fire by our is kamara halipid and biracio mata lamaila there's the water element of tyra and that's the kailis five kylas corresponding to the five times water which is a voice what's a voice what's a sound it brings out from your inner emotions from your inner breath it comes out verbally which is the answer of coming out in a revealed way which is what water is water trickles down as we spoke earlier fire goes up water goes down that's the coilus they saw the water of the either sky but they also saw lapidim they saw the fire of yaduskite the water and the fire together one creates ratsoy one creates shuv as he said the fire represents ratsuri going up the water goes down that creates shrub that's the flux that's the rhythm and that which i comprehend and the humility the rakia the ice remember carrack ice is frozen water because water is flowing ice doesn't flow in other words there's a complete moment of congealing but that's a powerful moment it's a moment where i freeze i don't mean freezing and trauma there's freezing and trauma but but this is how you transform the freeze of trauma how do you transform the freeze of trauma by this experience because let's go back we spoke about the stress all the stress and anxiety can be aligned with experiencing transcendence and then you transform your anxiety into a transcendent experience i'm being anxious you know i am anxious i'm anxious because i'm trying to hold on to that which i can't hold on to that's what anxiety is at least some forms of anxiety i'm trying to hold on to that which i can't hold on to right you made a to-do list how many things do you have on your to-do list today 10 20 if you're a good jew okay you have four so you're normal but many jews have 93 things on their to-do list how many do you end up doing one and a half if you're lucky maybe two and a half super mom six and a half okay dad usually one and a half or a half i'm anxious because i create i want to control things where i have to let go so anxiety is an invitation to a deeper level of mates are here too freezing when we freeze in life we sometimes go offline but the real freezing is i'm opened up to something that causes me to freeze because that's sheif it's i comprehend that i comprehend the fact that i can't comprehend that's the mayan that becomes ice that's the second level of the angels remember there's the angels flying with their wings that's ratso and then there's the angels frozen that's shove and then there is the estrogen the silence where the two become one and they shed all their wings they shed ratsay there's no name for rats anymore there's no name for suv because they're completely one because they go to a place beyond so he says the people saw the sounds that's water they saw the fire that's fire that's shuv and ratsu the khalam they saw this eye to eye they experienced it they saw that which is usually heard what does that mean you see what is usually heard and the answer is very deep is seeing beena is hearing an epiphany you see an idea you hear you get it you comprehend it you don't see it has a clarity that bina doesn't have you when you have that epiphany it's like wow but then it goes away and now you have to hear it the difference of seeing and hearing is when you see you see the whole picture and then you analyze the details when you hear it's detail after detail of the detail it's right brain left brain one deals with the whole and the other deals with individualism with particles one is a wave one is a particle chakra is a wave being is a particle khachma is seeing beena is hearing by matantora they saw that which was hurt became one that was usually here they saw that which you see they heard that's why they needed the shaffer the chauffeur wasn't music for music you could have gotten the violin the schaefer was that which could combine that which you see and that which you hear shaquillah shay for me the koila shriver that comes from a place of mate so what's a place of nature when you touch transcendence who makara tanoogam is the source of pleasure um and from the source you can have water and you can have fire even though they're paradoxical they're completely one commission as parallel as we explained before i think i had my workout for today okay let's take some questions that's actually somewhat of a new mimer it's somewhat of a new mimer um i'm not sure we'll see let me see what the islam here has to say ratze reshave beautiful comments is there a stronger proclivity from either the fire people or the water people to be stuck i'm finding there's a certain type of person that would like to go back to amul to the past and have a hard time with hearing about a new consciousness a redemptive consciousness is this fire or water or neither what's the tendency of being stuck or is it rearing is it about family culture it's a good question i don't know that there's one common denominator i don't know i have to think about it earth and air right right right right the way i understand wretched and show if somebody writes is i have this yearning to go beyond my individual identity always but then i have the sense of calm and realizing i have to embrace myself and doing god's will in this place and in this time and to be able to be content with my boundaries and limitations it's very deep yet is this why kids have so much anxiety perhaps especially teenagers right i feel that there can be both distress and pleasure in learning in real learning you have the stress and pleasure you have pleasure because it's incredibly fulfilling and you have the stress because you're frustrated by that which you cannot comprehend that's very good i want to tell you something whenever you learn about real things you have to feel the stress in a good way because not bad the stress it's not anxiety and and negativity and toxicity it's the stress that comes from wow this is so beyond and i would have loved to grasp more of this and the only way that distress doesn't become a source of anxiety is when you have the humility of realizing that i am a conduit for that which i have to be a conduit and i'm not god i'm an aspect of god and that humility allows you to embrace your limitations as much as it emboldens you to go beyond your limitations and it's it's a very delicate balance you have it in a relationship also you know i want you but i also can't have you i have to be me you know what's the problem when people you know people have crushes what's the problem with a crush right the crush is i want you instead of me and that doesn't work you know people have crushes sometimes young people older people i want to live my life through you it doesn't work i can't live my life through you have to live my life through me i can be close to i can have a relationship with you we could become very close but i have to live my life through me not through you and there's a lot of balance that's boundaries and boundaries people don't like boundaries right the 60s they wanted to obliterate all the boundaries and intimacy because it seemed so much more authentic so much more loving but there's no staying power there's no staying power if we obliterate the boundaries of people it's beautiful when you're 21 years old and you're on lsd for a couple of years but staying power must have you must recognize the world of limits you can't only live in fire you have to live in water the problem is when we go back to shreve we can also become estranged we become there's no fire anymore you know there's no passion and some people run here some you see it in judaism some people focus on the infinity and some people love the structure right and they could feed ocd and that's where you must have the undefined god the scheifer when you don't have the schaefer you get stuck this person is running into ecstasy and this person is running into discipline you know this person loves structure and they deify structure everything is about structure everything is about the clock and it's like it kills it it's dead and the other person is like they destroy structure but with the s the essence the schaefer does not get caught up in one or the other there's there is a fusion because it's beyond this experience of that experience and each experience is part of it and that's a very humbling humbling idea yeah anybody wants to ask something very beautiful comments and probably on the website there's many more comments and you could read them for yourself um oh wow i can't see it but um oh wow okay maybe you could take a picture and post it or email it to me and we could post it with your permission well that's the point of the miami right simplicity the chauffeur is very simple it's not complicated to schaefer wow reno where are you from you're in czechoslovakia that's that's where you're now in czechoslovakia which city lipstick wow so you see i want everybody should realize who we have we have our dear friend from pakistan today we always have her and we have czechoslovakia of course we have great britain and we have the holy land i see atlanta and i even see a colleague from muncie and i also see antwerp and then i see a lot of people from new york so it's mama sheedon from all over the world czechoslovakia wow is this your first time here no no i've been i've been many times here and i'm listening for maybe two years wow okay it's a pleasure to have you poland and slovakia and moravia but i married to my husband who who works in lipstick wow so you live in lipstadt yes he is so how did you find out about these classes okay wow okay beautiful thank you for being here it's an honor to have you reena and thank you everybody else for being here it's an honor and a privilege to have everybody here i wish you all an amazing day and a beautiful shabbos and by ezra hashem we we shall resume um monday morning i'm actually for shabbos at a shabbaton in california in encino but i'll be back sunday night so basically hashem monday morning we will resume everybody have a beautiful day and happy birthday to zalman you should have an amazing year a healthy year you're turning 18. wow okay amazing wow i remember when i was 17 yeah it's a great age it's a great age ratsay and shove [Laughter] full power i'd say and show full power amen your father should find the amazing yeshiva for you and you should find the amazing yeshiva for you in that yeshiva okay that's it