The Soul’s Elastic Tether of Detachment and Reconnection || Likkutei Torah Ani Hashem #3

the yeshiva.net. >> Okay, good morning everybody. Welcome. The first thing is I want to apologize for Monday. I know some of you drive from far or from close or wherever you come from and I pushet slept in. So, uh I really sincerely apologize. >> Huh? >> We forgive you. >> Yeah, >> we forgive you. I woke up 6:32 a.m. and I was exhausted. So, I decided to go to sleep a little more and then I woke up like already after the share. So, I do really apologize to you. I was that day at a eye doctor because I had my eye surgery, Dr. Weissman. So, I told him how embarrassing it was. So, for those who remember the 5:30 in the morning [ __ ] it happened once there too. And I remember how embarrassed I was then and I was embarrassed again on Monday. So the doctor told me he says probably the last year you gave you were fel feeling a little arrogant. So God had to make you feel human and humble. So he says that's what happened. >> Must be must listen to your >> huh. I said you're an eye doctor. You're mashia and I I apologize. So we'll have a sh today basham and also tomorrow Thursday. Okay. Today's class is dedicated by none other than Rabbi Dove Oliver, our very own Rabbi Oliver and his family in honor of the 51st anniversary of his parents, Rabbi Kasriel and Cippi Oliver. Oam on the 13th day of Tamos, avid fans of the yeshiva.net net and we wish them and many many abundant happy healthy years with prosperity and all of the blessings and regards to Australia they watch from Australia Melbourne >> OM is Australia >> order of Australia medal okay that's >> that's directly from the queen okay am it is No, >> no, >> no, no. This the class is also dedicated by Gian Levy in loving memory and Leu Nishmas, her dear friend, Henya Danella Ba Bat Pearlla, whose extraordinary generosity and heartfelt kindness and dedication meant so much to her throughout her Chuva journey with blessings for her beloved childrens. May your soul always be a source of inspiration and empowerment. Amen. Thank you so very much. Okay. So we began the we did two on it last week and this mimer as I told you is dedicated to the theme of tanug of delight of joy of bliss and we are up to in the middle of alf chapter one on the second page of the m page 93ll 93. Huh? Yeah. On top it says it's page 93. In the Hebrew it's me Zion column one. You see column one. So after the questions that asked on the paris twice and he went into the concept of and he begins exploring the theme of pleasure. And the main theme that we learned was in the first two classes by the way very very fundamental themes in uh Yiddishl and specifically especially the last class if you didn't hear it it's to hear it the whole idea of what tug is what bliss is and how it is essential to the entire scheme of creation because in everything in the world there's tyog said everything and it's diverse there's so many diverse types of pleasures even just with eyesight what you can see as pleasurable. So many different types of opportunities I say is true with hearing and with smelling and with touching and with tasting all the senses and then of course higher forms of pleasure whether emotional emotional pleasure that you can't touch with your hands or hear with your ears or see with your eyes but there's the emotional experiences of pleasure whether it's love connection attachment and in that itself there's so much diversity and then there are there's understanding you know how much pleasure there is in grasping and understanding and awareness and consciousness and expansive consciousness and clarity in in huh. >> Yeah. And and so on and so forth. There's the pleasure of music, right, that you can hear with your ears. And then there's the pleasure of art. He speaks about the pleasure of beauty. And everything has a different element of tanuk. And so it goes deeper and deeper and deeper. All tanuk originates from the source. The source of all bliss, the source of all pleasure, which is Hashem. But the pleasure evolves. Just like we have intestines that break down the food and allocate different parts of the food. Some can go into the bloodstream and some become fat and some become glucose and some become and some have to be defecated, have to be expelled from the body because the body has no use for it. But they also become nutrients for for example farms, fields, fertilizer or insects that live off the fertilizer, the excrement of humans or animals. The same is true in the spiritual process as well that the divine pleasure as it evolves you have angels from the word intestines that allocate and what can't be internalized in the higher world goes into the lower world. So what for the higher world is excrement for the lower world becomes >> skyscrapers. Very good. It becomes its its paradise, its bliss, its nutrients and then the process continues until the tanuk comes down into the lowest places which is in this world where you have the pilus of the pilus. Pilus is the the how do you say pilus in English? the >> sediment >> the sediments the residue the excrements of the higher energy that could not be tolerated by the higher world and it becomes the tanuk of this world and that's what was so inspired by when he saw what was happening in Rome and how much they were celebrating life and enjoying life and all of his friends were sobbing to see the contrast between the condition of the Jewish people and the Bameikash which is in flames and here Rome is on top of the world exhilarated celebrating their life with so much bliss and ecstasy and ising and laughing and they're asking him why you laughing says if this is the bliss that is reserved for literally for those who transgress his will you can appreciate and understand ask how much reward is reserved for for those who are committed, who perform his will. At first glance, what's the answer? What's the explanation? He's talking about the future. They also knew that the future is going to be good. The sages that went with Rabaka also believe that there's going to be reward and punishment. They also believe that one day Mashiach is going to come. They also believed in they were talking about now. They were talking about the situation now. they're crying about now is not so what's answer explains there's a deeper element in what is saying he's not just talking about the future he's talking about now if the pilus of the pilus of the pilus of the pilus of the tino has so much momentum it has so much potency and power to the point that they are so excited and in their mind they're literally on top of the world. This itself gave him an appreciation of the bliss of the source itself of itself of a itself. Those were literally the last that was the last point. Yeah. Let's see. It's 1, two, three, four, five, six. Six lines from the bottom but six lines from the top. Mean column one or 93. Yeah. Precisely from this precisely from this experience he realized he recognized you can recognize that to the to the greatness of there's literally no way to investigate it or understand it or inquire it meaning it's truly infinite. If the gallion, the residue, what we called before, so to speak, the excrement the becomes so much because it still has it still has something. It has a residue. It's it's it's yik just like the excrement. It has in it some some nutrients. So it has something and so even though it went down one level another level and it's fragmented and it's completely not connected to the original tanic and still it has some of those residue some of those sparks to the point that it can liven them up so much and they feel like literally life is incredibly amazing. So from this itself said wow tuning in to the source of the what he calls which is which is illuminated which is expressed which is may it shines like he said earlier that's the you should experience not the you should experience the of the face of the pimus he should shine his face to You can't even there's no there's no words for it. It's great and it's abundant and it's powerful. Continues the fact that it's possible for them to get nurture. Unika is nurture like nursing to get nurture and shea flow from the suppernal from the divine from the divine bliss and it reaches even those who are those who transgress his will interesting expression. However it happens, even if you're saying that they're getting not the they're getting from the >> waste, >> from the waste >> from the dregs, sediments, residue, waste, excrement. >> Huh? That was last time. That was love. So he says means however it happens even if it's the so you'll say okay it makes sense but still how do they get that nurture this is like the saying of blessed memory says in mish in his mish proverbs in pedl chapter 30 that's the expression of is translated by most commentators as the spider. She grasps on she clings onto the wall with her arms with her long stretched out arms of the spider. She could be on a flat surface on a slope even if it's a straight slope and she has no problem. With our hands we wouldn't be able to grasp that. But with her hands tapes tapes from the word she grasps she clings to every surface every type of surface she clings with her hands. The mafarim also explain that this is also referring to the fact that taf she grasps her prey her food the insects be through that which she weaves with her hands. Of course, the spider works very, very hard on creating with her stretched out arms a very skilled web. And in that web, she lures in the insects that she ultimately enjoys for her prey for lunch or breakfast or dinner. And you know, it's a process of I don't know if you ever watched it, but it's a process of days and days. You need a lot a lot of patience. The way she prepares for her food, she has to weave that web, which takes a very, very, very long time. time and then she sits and waits and then the buck comes. It's a long long long process and then slowly slowly she finally gets her food. So that's bim she clings to every surface with her hands and she grasps to tapes to tapes. She grasps her prey bay through that which she creates with her hands. Most other animals or insects, mammals, fish, they use their mouth and they get their prey. is she with her hands creates the environment which ultimately will grasp prey and she can hang out even in the chambers the sanctuary of the king. In other words, wherever she is, she finds her environment. Sometimes you can come into Melik, the most beautiful, exquisite palace of the king, but somewhere in the corner, somewhere in the ceiling, somewhere on the wall, there's a spider's web waiting for her prey. And even the king knows that this is part of life. >> Of course. >> Yeah. >> The whole story of David is brought in the medish that he questioned why did Hashem make spiders. It seems like a valless creature that seemingly doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever. And she works so hard. And then of course the med says there was one day that was running away from Shaw and he was in a cave and Shaw sent his people to check every cave and that cave a spider came and weaved a web over the cover of the cave and Shaw said it can't be that anybody is in here because the web would have been uh broken. It would have been shattered. So then David realized that the spider web has a purpose. The Reba once told a story. It was Shabas 1978. He was talking about the wagons of the only gave six wagons. Why they were so stingy with the wagons? And the answer is because Hashem didn't create anything in vain. So even everything in the Mishkan was precise. Nothing extra and nothing missing but also nothing extra. So he brought this story from the medish and he said he says that was the he so to speak started up. He challenged this notion that there's nothing in the world that's in vain. Everything is purposeful. Like the bos says even the the the the leaf rolling on the ground and where it ends up is also by divine orchestrated providence and it's to the entire scheme of creation. It's not just it has a plan. It's important. It's indispensable. It's part of the cosmic what he called. It's part of the cosmic plan. So he he was challenging and he was saying the spiderweb that's just you know it's one of the random effects. So Hashem showed him not just that the spider has a purpose but that his entire existence dependent on it depended on it which means not just David's personal existence it means malus based it means the whole malus of David all the way till Msiah which is the whole gul of the world was dependent on what on the spider web that's what he learned so it's not just that David learned there's some useful purpose Everything is part of the ecosystem. It's part of the give and take of the planet which is essential to life which is also very powerful. From every thunder to every lightning to every every storm, every wind, every cloud, every lake, every canal that's also powerful. He saw that his entire existence was dependent on it which means the whole gula was dependent on it which means all of history is somehow connected to that spider's web. So this gave a whole new appreciation in the in the meaning of So this is where is it? It could be in the chamber of the king. So is using this and saying is not stam marveling at the fact that in the most fancy of places in the fanciest of places you may find a spiderweb. Don't don't get so discouraged. He's actually bringing out something very profound. And what is that? He says thehat is not she's also in the she's precisely in the it says if I go up you're there if I go down you're there by you darkness is like light like darkness like light so that means Like darkness like light means that I could be present even in the darkness. Darkness is not a contradiction to light. Like darkness like light means that even the greatest darkness has in it the full presence of so is explaining that the alion like the ultimately in that could be even the spider's web. So even the of the how does it end up there? It ends up there because ultimately the extends everywhere like darkness like light. But now the question is what's the purpose to be able to allow divine to descend so low? You're saying that the spider could be in the chamber of the king because he's not afraid of spiders. The real king is not afraid. But what's tak the purpose that the tuk should be able to descend so low not only that it become degraded and it could be hijacked and manipulated and used in destructive ways. The answer is on this the says yeah says the advantage the means the superiority of light comes comes from darkness everything here is very but he's also answering here a question it says inelis in ecclesiastes says that you know he says I saw that wisdom is better than folly the better than stupidity better than foolishness just like light is better than darkness. So the zy asks a question. He brings it in for this. You need the wisest person to say by the way wisdom is superior to foolishness like light is superior to darkness. Everybody knows that wisdom is better than foolishness and that light is superior to darkness. When it's dark we like to put on a light. So he says it here in two words. You see it's very easy to miss everybody learns the light is greater than darkness. Min in Hebrew could mean two things. It can mean then it can mean from. So everybody learns light is greater than darkness. He says no that's not what he's saying. He's saying light is greater mean when it comes from darkness. The greatest wisdom IS THE WISDOM THAT COMES from foolishness. Not the not that wisdom is greater than foolishness. We know that he's saying something this you need because this is not such an easy thing to digest. Just give me the light. forget the darkness to be able to say that the real that comes that's already that's that's a big it's an emotional it's an it's a transformational it's not such an easy thing to digest but that's the the greatest light is the light that's born from the antithesis of light from the negative energy from the dark energy now when you're in the dark energy it doesn't feel that way because it's dark right when I'm in the stage your foolishness. It doesn't feel that way. But that's the truth of >> isn't there only the reality of light because of darkness? Is there only the reality of intelligence because there's foolishness? >> The contrast the contrast allows you to appreciate it. That's one idea. And here is even a further idea that that which comes from its transformation is the deepest form of light in addition to the what you're saying about the contrast. This is similar to what tell us the you should love Hashem with all your heart. So the says in chapter n what does it mean with all your heart not with half your heart with both of your inclinations with both of your instincts with your heart. This is also connected to what say in sorry but in the place where stand even cannot stand what's the common denominator in all these three statements light comes the greatest light is the light that comes from darkness love hashem with all your heart with both of the place where standikim don't stand what's the common denominator from the opposite from the paradigm from the antithetical, from the other extreme, from the radical opposite. Here we're talking about in terms of pleasure of bliss. In the beginning, the person was immersed and was enjoying and may have even been addicted to pleasures of amhaza meaning of this world not connected, not aligned with source. So the person really was in that space. This was from this will come an outcry, a a thirst, a yearning, a pining, a gain. Yeah. Like that that that deep deep deep thirst that can only come from the fact that the person experienced the opposite with much more vigor is like vigor. It's an expression of desire. This is what we say in with all your means very excessive which is bleak infinity of this is the deeper meaning of the he says my soul craves to you at night. Why at night? Why not at by day? The soul only craves by night. So he says the answer is precisely in this world which is similar to night. It's compared to night because night is a place of darkness. In other words, where there's concealment, where there's no clarity. We when when you're walking in light, you see your way. But when you're walking in the dark, you could stumble. You can fall into a ditch. You can trip. You can get stuck. You can get lost. You can wander away. Haz is a place of you don't know who you are. You don't know who you are. You don't know where you are. You don't know the direction. And that's where a person can easily get lost and stuck and lured into all different types of cravings and addictions. From there, from there will come a tremendous superiority in the light, the tremendous love, the excessive love that will come from from the commission. This is also connected to what's explained in another mimer. There's two types of There's two types of experiences of bliss by the king. One comes from the mitzvah. A Jew goes and he's performing the mitzvah and connecting to Hashem. This is one. There's a second when he sees his child who's coming back from the distance. He's coming back from a very remote distance. A long time has passed. He has not seen his child. They were separated. They were alienated. What do they call it today? >> Estranged. Yeah. Alienating your parents. When children alienate their parents, he doesn't want to have to do with him. I don't want to see you. I don't want to connect to you. I don't even want to come visit. It's a been a long time he hasn't seen him. When the king suddenly sees his child, the prince, his heart is overfilled with joy and bliss. And this is a metaphor for the whole experience of chuva. And this can happen precisely because he didn't do the mitzvah. So it's a different type of tuk. The first tanuk is the tuk of closeness. They spent time together. They're intimately connected. This is the first tuk of a mitzvah. The second tanuk is the opposite. It's the tanuk that happens from the darkness. It's the tuk that happens from the estrangement. It's the tuk that happens because he's not doing the mitzvah. He actually went away from his father and for a long time he didn't see him. They weren't connected. So what's the tanug? The is when he comes back the whole darkness now becomes a catalyst, a springboard for the and that's why it's so much more powerful. Why is why is it? Because this type of light has in it the energy of the darkness. Regular light is light. It's very powerful. But this light has in it a whole different type of energy. It takes the darkness and it transforms it into light. And when negative energy is converted into positive energy, it has a different type of momentum. It has a different type of flavor, a luster, a richness, a depth that it wouldn't have on its own, an intensity. Yeah. Why? because it takes all of the dysfunction, all of the corruption, all of the alienation and that all jumps on the wagon of intimacy, all of that is slept onto the into the connection. So, it's a different flavor. That's why you don't just say the it's not fair that has been good his entire life and then this goes and you say, "Oh, the sadic can never get there." Yeah, that's not fair. just because I was a good guy my whole life and I didn't sin so therefore what that's why I should lose so it's not a v of jealousy like the saddic will never be there thehat is that the sadic is living in a world of light he's living in a world of connection that's the first ting the ting of mitzvah the space where the boua comes is that all the darkness now becomes part of it and that's a whole different caliber it's a different quality of a relationship never had a darkness. >> Yeah. I mean in this world everybody has darkness but it's relative. Everybody has darkness in this world. >> Only through the ganya only became a gummer. He had to work a lot. Everybody confronts darkness in this world >> because he didn't end he didn't end up in the aby. He he's not coming from the abyss but he still has to face the the challenge the concealment of this world everybody. >> So now that's what he's going to get to now. This is the purpose that the descends all the way down through the breaking of the vessels. Because this generates the second type of bliss which is the chuva bliss. This is the meaning of the expression. You go down for the sake of going up. Is an expression of when it comes to a person lowering an axe in different directions either to lower it in order to pick it up and if they kill somebody by mistake if they of gullis or not but uses this expression as a cosmic insight into life that every is what it's so the that we're talking about in this whole is that everything originates there's only one source of bliss in the world. There's no other source of bliss in the world. Camel cigarettes don't have monopoly on bliss and potato chips and candies and any source of pleasure in the world. Nobody there's only one source of energy of real energy in the world. And there's only one source of tanug in the world. And yet there's so many different types of tanugum. Some are very very lofty. Some are very very lowly. And some are even very very immoral. Some can be repulsive for other people. And yet there's some kind in it. People engage in it. They pursue it. They're addicted to it. They may pay a lot a lot of money for it for a few minutes of it. So there's something there. Something in their system is getting the light. It may last 5 minutes. It may last 10 minutes. It may last 5 years. But there's something there. So says it's not that it doesn't come from Hashem's ten. Of course it comes from Hashem's Tuk. It just went through a process of what's the shattering of the vessels means that the energy that's in the source is now fragmented into ways that you can't recognize it anymore. And just like we explained that the excrement of an animal becomes fertilizer for your farm, for your field, for your garden, and the garden enjoys it. In fact, what the animal re e ejects the earth absorbs with with with with glee with joy. >> Huh? >> Exactly. It can't it can't it can't it no no growth without it. No >> no that's the concept. So what's the purpose of this of the tu going down? So said before that the king can tolerate even the spider and says if this is the tuk of Rome you can understand what it is to have the you can't even compare it if the soilus of the if the excrement from the excrement after millions and billions and billions and billions of levels and still THEY'RE THEY'RE THEY'RE GOING CRAZY from excitement You know what it means to touch the source of t. So you want me to be you want me to be jealous of them? Why was that allowed? So says the answer is that the goes down even to such broken places because from there is comes the greatest outcry, the greatest yearning. That's the balu and that's a whole different tug. That's the tig which takes all the and brings it back to the source. How? Because the frustration the thirstari that is created the thirst that's created is created from the darkness. And when that darkness now becomes the fuel of your thirst, it's a whole different experience of a that's >> and that's the reason we're allowed to we are all allowed to make so many mistakes and allowed to fall and stumble and end up sometimes in very very challenging places of anxiety and deep deep pain and grievances and real mistakes that we make. It's not simple. And we end up in tanugim that are momentarily very very powerful but ultimately valueless, destructive, meaningless, fake news. And yet some of us know we could be entrenched in them for years and years, some of us for decades. Blindfolded, deaf, blind, and yet looking for more because it's giving us some satisfaction in life. And a person can't live without some tanuk. You need some tenug. Tynug is the driving force of creation. Tanuk is the is the fuel of it's the energy of existence because it's behind everything. It's the battery. It's the engine. It's the heart of God. Too is the heart of God which is the in it's the of creation. It's the DNA. It's the nava behind everything. It's the it's the yearning for connection. It's that bliss. >> Is that the only way to get to that bliss thing? only through the darkness. >> No, no. There's the no is infinite. But the reason that Hashem allowed the Ter to come down so low is to be able to create this transformation. So this is the from the Yeah. There's a from the it says inim you know has the fromb so so the the continuation over there is my soul thirsts for you my flesh pines yearns for you in a land that is parched and is exhausted with no water it's like when a person is in a parched dry desert without water and there's such a thirst for just you know one glass of water. But then he continues what does that mean? So here means I wish that when I come to holiness I should be able to see you in the same way. It's David knows that one day he's going to get out of the mess. He's going to get out of it. And what is he afraid? He's afraid that the is going to be gone. So he's he's asking when I come to I should be able to see you. I should be able to perceive you with the same intensity, with the same with the same desire that I had when I was estranged, when I was alienated, when I found myself in a parched desert without any water. Huh? Because this is what you see in life, you know. You see in life that sometimes people are in very very difficult situations and of course they want to get out of it and they get out of it but then they look back and they realize that there was such an authentic uh yearning and purity in that situation that they could sometimes lose because then you just take it for granted. Yeah. You know you're here. The child is with his father every day. So you take it for granted. when he's alienated he feels the angst and that yearning is so so powerful. So the said he was telling himself, I know I know the danger, >> you know, when you're fighting when you're fighting for your life, when you're fighting for your soul, your your your integrity comes out and you feel it. Your authenticity comes out. Something comes out that's unprecedented. That's unpower that's not powerful. That's so powerful. Because what happens then is really all the darkness, the purpose of the darkness is now revealed. And when the purpose of the darkness is revealed, it's a whole different level of light. Right? That that's the vart. When the purpose of the darkness is revealed and the darkness starts contributing to the divine purpose, woohoo, now it's light. And that happens through the only through the Yeah. The light is not afraid of the darkness because the real light knows that the whole darkness is just there for the light. Now it's a it's a secret because if the darkness would say, "By the way, I'm only here for the light." It wouldn't be dark, right? There wouldn't be sim, right? If if if the child when he was alienated would know the truth that it's all in order to get back. So he's not really alienated. Huh? >> Yeah. So that's the truth. That's what is trying to reveal that you should know that. But still experientially when we're in darkness we don't know that. When I'm in that place of anxiety or that place of of despair I don't know it. I don't feel it. I may intellectually know it but it doesn't really help. And that's also part of the design because it's in the breakdown. It's in the sim where you actually discover that real yearning. It's a real yearning. It's only a real yearning because the darkness calls itself darkness. Doesn't call itself another version of light. Didn't you say a few weeks ago that that a person I can't be really explain experienced that true bliss? He if he says he does is even to the point that you heard Hashem speak to you like >> Buddh said that >> I don't remember. >> So is that true or not? >> It needs context. I I don't know depends on every situation. I don't know. So this is the second or the so this is a very very this is a very this comes from mitzvah and there's a tuk that comes from the alienation. Now, it's a very sensitive art because essentially, you know, he he he doesn't say there's a t that comes from mitzvah and a ta that comes from a that's not what he's saying. There's a t that comes from mitzvah and a ta that comes after there was a breakdown and there's a new connection. It's a whole different type of connection. But of course, that's not coming from a mitzvah. That's a ta that's coming precisely because there was arangement, there was darkness, there were mistakes, there were stumbling blocks and the child fell fell fell far away. And then when they come back, when the child comes back, it's a whole different time. The reunion and the celebration of that reunion is something that's it's unprecedented. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. If you go to a deeper level too, this is not you could think, okay, this is only true in this world. He says the truth is we say in the morning in Davening we say there's different levels of angels. enumerates 10 levels of malim. There are more but generally there are 10 levels of malim. Soim are way up there. On the lowest level you have what's called so it says means wheels the wheels and the holy animals with tremendous rash with tremendous tumultuousness and excitement they lift themselves towards the towards the angels called which are fireballs fiery they praise and says what's Why is there a rash? Rash means an earthquake. Actually in rash is an earthquake. Rash means a tuml ruckus. Why is it such a rag? Why aren't theim having such a rash? Why? The answer is the da means da. It's precisely because of the concealment of godliness versus the ima is that imma is the mother which represents bina is from the word kain a nest. She nests is k the throne. So the sphere of bina rests inh which is where the are. So over there there's a gill of there's a gill of bino there's a revelation of the light of which is expressed and it's comprehended in the world of bria this is that is where this live that is their inhabit so they're without they stand without a ruckus they say they comprehend They rep they they say this is before the right. What do we say in ding? We say that together and then is explaining the difference on the first ones. You don't say because they're actually you know what do they comprehend? They comprehend. What's kadesh? Kadesh means transcendent, aloof, sublime. What does that mean? Transcendent, aloof, sublime. Oh, so that now let's not they make the mistake doesn't mean Hashem is alive aloof and sublime and transcendent. It means all of reality remains. He's going to explain like the says I haven't changed. There's no shu there's no change in his atmos and his essence between precation and postcreation which means the same oneness of that exists before creation exists also after creation because the source of the energy of all the worlds which is filtered and contracted and ultimately is tailor made and custom made for each world where you have all of the different levels. This comes only. This is this is a ray of him but in his presence in his essence everything is subsumed in pure in infinity only the light. It's like the ray of the sun but it's still inside of the sun. So the ray of the sun the ray which means almost like a ray of him is the source of all of creation but that ray is still subsumed in him. So therefore means that everything is still like before creation. There is that's the real frequency of reality that everything is everything is and they get this that's why it's called that's why in it's called light why light because the mushel would be the light of the sun it does not affect a change in the sun and when the light of the sun is inside the solar core the ray of the sun is inside the solar core it's completely subsumed in the solar core so even Even though the is very very powerful and it's responsible for everything we have on our planet, if there would be no light of the sun, we wouldn't be able to exist for long because this is the source of the warmth and the source of the heat and the source of the energy and the source of all growth and all produce. The entire planet is dependent on the so nobody is doubting how powerful powerful it is. Nonetheless, it's called light, which is a harder, which is a ray, which doesn't affect the sun itself. If we all put down our Venetian blinds and we tell the sun we're not interested in your light, the sun doesn't go into depression. It's not like the sun is redefined by the light. Even though the light is so so so powerful, what's the mush? What's saying? All of creation happens in the world of light in the world of Now, of course, in the mushel, it's two separate places. Because the sun is in the sky or wherever the sun is far away and the light extends and the light has a whole reality. Here you're talking about so the light is still in the sob is explaining like this the world of that's what we learned in basilani at length the world of you have the holist you have all the you have everything that's going on including the fact that we're sitting here and everybody each one of us we feel ourselves and we feel our consciousness and we're working through life but there's a deeper dimension of reality in which the same oneness that existed pre-creation is still existing right now So in avoid what does this mean? How do you know you're doing something valuable? How do you know you're in a place of truth? And the answer is if precreation of the world, this was reality. So that's the ultimate em. If in the state of precation, this would be able to hold up itself to that reality. So that's in a state of emiss. If not, I just have to acknowledge that it's after a lot of concealment. So that's the real truth of reality and the soul the the the soul senses this truth. This is the truth of means that reality remains and transcendent even postcreation is the whole world. Yeah. That's the of that is still subsumed in the source. I inim including in a lot of mym you have the expression the power of the activator in that which is activated. So you're saying it's like is not it's inside the like this explains the difference of we spoke about it a few ago. If somebody's teaching they're completely defined by it. You can't be in two places at the same time is but means is inside the it's defined by it. It's enclosed in it. It goes through a change. The seed becomes the tree. The seed can't say I'm becoming this TREE AND TOMORROW I'M GOING TO BE ANOTHER TREE. It doesn't work that way. You become this tree. In other words, Hashem creates the world. It's like almost Hashem becomes the world. You be he becomes at least a part of him represents the fact that the source of the sun remains and the is still subsumed in the source means no the is in the nifl it's defined by the nifl like the soul is in the body the soul can't say now I'm going to another body no you're defined by this body that's the beauty of it that's what a rel an intricate an intimate relationship I can't be here and somewhere else. If you're here, you're here. So he says that's true. True down here in the world of which is called over there you could speak. You have the of in other words there's the which comes in which comes into the becomes who are in lower worlds then bino then bria where you don't have this revelation and therefore they don't comprehend is there's a tremendous rash. This is similar to the outcry that comes with so much more vigor from being in the darkness. That's why instituted the two blessings before you say before you say before you say to speak about the to speak about the tumultuous yearning of the Because this is a reflection of what happens in this world where precisely the lack of comprehension and even the darkness and the confusion becomes a catalyst for a whole new type of experience of growth as a result of the arousal from below of the is the yearning the tremendous pining that happens through the darkness. The word is the same letters like this opens up a gate. It reciprocates creates the creates a shing. The word you have with a shin and you have with a sin. With a shin it's called sh which means a gate. with a sin it's called s which is here. So you have the rash creates a sh but it creates two types of shs. One is a sh with the right a shin has a pint has a point on the right side and a sin has a point on the left side. One is and one is cyrus means this is the gate to the left. says in Amar he says an image he saw Hashem sitting his garment was like white snow and the hair of his head like white wool like clean woolar is wool and is clean white wool the hair of his head was white like white wool of sheep what's the idea here grows from the brain comes out from the skull and it grows from the brain But it's a very external ray of the brain. If you cut hairs, you're not going to feel any pain in the brain. Literally, there's no nerves in the in the here. So the here is alive because the here is growing. But it has such a little so so to speak, spiritually speaking, it has so such minute energy. So it's called an external ray. If you cut another part of the body, there's tremendous tremendous pain because it has vitality. The energy of the brain is invested in it. There's nerves in it. But the here is also alive. But it's a it's an external spiritually. The is called Hashem's like it says in his are his um His locks of hair. His locks of hair. Talm. Talim means uh like be um >> huh curls. Yeah. They're like curled up. Talm are like little mountains. They're curled up into into groups. So this is theim that my beloved one is knocking on the door. Open up the door. my head is filled with dew and are my hair locks are have the dampness of night and he says over there she describes her groom of that the locks of hair are curled up. So the garra says on this timal is mountains a tail is a mountain a mount mountains upon mountains of fascinating that's what the garra says so the are compared to locks of hair of hashem because every is like another strand of hair another braid another braid of hair another thread of hair every has its detailed you know when you really learn hal so intricate. Every is like another strand of hair and they're all mixed up together. So you have to brush them out. You have to brush them out. You have to comb out the here. You know when you separate it's it's all interlocked and interconnected. And that's what a lot of is right differentiate between this and this. It's not a contradiction. in the in the in this is in it's literally combing out the so what's the is to hear now we'll understand says in the comes from it comes out of hashem's wisdom this flow it comes from the divine bliss it comes from The source of all bliss that exists this flow that comes from the source of all bliss into is called. It's called a strand of here. Why? Because the source of all is Hashem's essence. It's his you can't compare it to the that we have here below. Why not? If you're saying that all the bliss in the world comes from Hashem, so you could compare it. Our bliss comes from his bliss. It's his it's his energy. Says you can't compare it. Why not? Listen to what he says. Huh? Okay. It's filtered. But there's a fundamental difference. He says, But it comes to a person all of our is receptive. You receive your there's something that's causing you from this thing, from this person, from this experience, from this state of consciousness. There is something physical, spiritual, earthy or divine, lofty or lowly. But there's something which is giving you time. It could be a rip piece of rip steak. It could be a symphony. It could be an orchestra with 600 musicians. Yeah. Could be a gavaldic gavaldic niggan. It could be a mathematical the answer to a mathematical riddle. It can be experiencing infinite consciousness, experiencing the divine energy of the world. So many different types of tamuka. It can even be potato chips or a glass of coke. I mean, but it's fine for our discussion. It's something that's causing you >> something in the world. Yeah. Huh? What? >> And we're with the receiver. We're the receiver. And then we And then we pursue it. We pursue it. Yeah. Could be the body, the physical body of another person. It could be the love of another person. The gashm of the like we learned before, there could be a smell and it could be a beautiful landscape. But I'm looking at a piece of art and I'm like, "Wow, I'm hearing a piece of music and like my heart is expanding from and this is true in every world and in every frequency and in every reality even the bliss of the souls is not a bliss from something whether food or music or an experience that you see or smell or taste. It's coming from the from from their own reality from the from from their from their of of the true but they're receiving energy. They're they're enjoying they're basking and they're receiving bliss from the radiance of the when you talk about the source of you have to graduate from all these definitions. Why says something? When you talk about the source of the pleasure, there's nothing outside of him. He's now quoting the children who he says because wants you to conclude the sentence yourself. So it's always says meaning he is the knower. He is the instrument of knowledge and he is the known. And the main idea that Amam is making is that Hashem knows everything not by knowing everything but by knowing himself because self-nowledge is the knowledge of all of reality because all of reality is an extension of the divine. It's a divine energy, right? So just like how does my brain know what's happening in my pinky? How does my brain know what's happening in my toe? Who told it? Somebody came and informed. You could come to me and tell me a story about somebody else and now I know about it. But what's happening inside my body, my brain knows because it's happening. It's happening inside my brain. It's not happening anywhere else. The nervous system that extends to every single part of the body is in constant communication with the brain. And whatever happens anywhere, the brain is the one that feels it and interprets it and explains it and defines it and does whatever you have to do about it. Right? It's it's incredible. There's no part of the body that's not in the brain. So that's a marshall gives us that the knowledge of creation is a form of self-nowledge. Thank you. The for the the the experience of Hashem's knowledge is really self-nowledge. It's self-awareness which tells us how deeply the connection is. Right? Nobody has to tell you that you just stubbed your toe. Oh, I stubbed my toe. BRAIN, I STUBBED MY TOE. COULD YOU GO? THE BRAIN already knew because it it happened to the brain. So that's what there's nothing outside of him. Who am he is the instrument of knowledge. He is the knower and he's the known. There's the knower. There's the known and there's the mind that processes the knowledge and brings it into me. And I learned today about somebody or something that I didn't know yesterday. I'm always learning new things. But by him it's all you dear. So says if that's the case. So the tug in him is not a tinug that you're receiving from something. You're giving me pleasure. Your body is giving me pleasure. Your soul is giving me pleasure. Your music is giving me pleasure. Your art is giving me pleasure. Nature is giving me pleasure. The hike is giving me pleasure. The food is giving me pleasure. The smell is giving me pleasure. Here the is. What does this mean? He is the How do we call this? We call it we call it the source of the because he is the source for every single experience of that we have. He is the source of it. So this gives us a deeper than what was saying all the in the world as high or low as you go you're always in a mode of receiving it. There's the pleasure that you're detecting that your sensors are picking up. They're processing. You're processing it and you're internalizing it from the highest to the lowest from the deepest to the most superficial. from the most authentic to the most fake. But it's something that is giving you a momentary or an eternal tanuk that's coming from that dove or from that thing. Hashem, what's his tanuk? Where is that coming from? There's nothing outside of him. Oh, I like that. So the is that is him is him. That's part that's so to speak his >> yeah he is not he has he gets receives there's something that's causing him so he is like it says he is the that's why it's called so that means this is say any pleasure you will ever have in life what are you actually touching you're touching the divine Because he is he is the tanim. That's why he says that is what is not tuk from SOMETHING ELSE. IT'S PLEASURE AT ITS CORE. NO, there's really no way to describe it because what we're describing is always our description of trying to negate what's that. We never touch we touch the tu that I'm experiencing from whatever is giving me tanuk. That's why they call it he's referring to tin not to something else. But you could call it any name. Hashem is everything. He's not we only call it tan because that way we can we experience it. We experience it. Yeah. Means what does bliss look like at its core. Not we say well the music is beautiful. This person is beautiful. This physique is amazing. This idea wow what an idea. What what what an emotional experience. So it's all a certain experience from a particular reality from like he says even in it's when you speak about the mak of tanugim it's it's it's tanug in its purity it's tanug IT'S CALLED itself from what he says that's tenug IT'S TUG IN ITS OWN atm is in its own essence in its own core what would it be to touch that and that's why wasn't impressed by Rome it's not just this is less tiny this is more tanuk they have palaces and they have their their their heis and they have their wine and they have their women and they have their their power and their mastery the difference of the of the tug of alus is that the tug of alus yeah in its source you're not touching tanuk from something you're touching atmas of Tanuk itself and that experience of Tanuk is even the word infinity can't apply there. It's it's so overwhelming. It's so infinite that it's just where there's nothing outside of the Tanuk. It's not a TU that's defined by anything. It is tanuk itself. It's the source from where every single experience of tanuk comes from because every tanuk don't take his point is don't take tanuk for granted. It wasn't like not like mindless cells came up with this consciousness of bliss like I always say in the right everybody experiences love everybody here has love right where did it come from it came from somewhere right? We didn't create love. Like it love is a big big thing. These things just so don't happen on their own. There was a cell for 25 billion years and mindlessly one day it's like oh I have this consciousness of love. When you have consciousness it's a gift. It comes from somewhere. It comes from a source of consciousness. It's the most foolish thing in the world, right? To say that kind of some spontaneous random experience existence that literally came from nowhere without any source of consciousness and just mindless cells that happened to come by mistake one day emerged with this with this great consciousness. Obviously, the source of it all. So any bliss in the world is coming from somewhere. It's channeling a frequency. We all have antennas that are channeling an energy of tanuk. And you can go higher and higher and higher and higher and higher. And what is it in its source? In its source, he says it's not tinuk from something. It is tenuk. That's the source energy. And that is tenug. And that tinuk is not tinuk from something. It's tanug that comes from tuk. So over there it's and it's in in in the in the highest form that we can't even describe in words and that's the source for every type of that comes and Hashem planted in every question how much is it reflecting the source is it pilus or is it if it's pilus it falls down into a lower world and then it falls down into a lower world falls until it becomes the tanuk that saw in Rome and it's also tiny or it's deriving it's less filtered and it's more expressing its source and then there's an experience of a siphon it why is it a whole different magnitude because when it's a tin of you're already touching the source of so you can never compare you can never compare so saw that in he said this is they're disaligned AND THEY'RE STILL THEY'RE STILL GOING CRAZY FROM EXCITEMENT When you're when you're aligned with that pain, >> he didn't deny he didn't deny the pain. But knew very well the pain. He understood why they were crying >> in the in the pain and in the difficulty. He was also experiencing something unbelievably powerful. So before >> explain what you mean. >> Because of the pain he was able to have this awareness able to have this open. >> Explain why. Explain. >> You need to see the contrast. Please you need to feel the contrast. >> He has no words. I wish I can get away with that. I can also say I have no words for anything here. shine. >> Maybe he felt the pain more than any of the other tech. Maybe he he sat with the pain more than any of the other technique. And at the core of it, he understood that we sat down into the depths and the depths and the depths of the p of of silos. Right? I was saying about chubako goes gets further sense because get gets sent further and further and further and further. Right? In other words, the only way that we can actually access this osmos the way that they designed it is only way that we can access the is if we get to the the end of our to where we end many times at the end of our pain is where we begin. at the end of our pain where at that moment where we where it's too you get so low and you get so far and you get so detached is where things start to crack open. >> Yeah. >> And maybe the other didn't let allow themselves to go far enough into the pain of what they were able to feel. So they were still stuck in the pain. They were still stuck in in the darkness. So they they wanted to just sustain but that went to the to the full extent the end of the pain and that's where he was able to seem the truth of where everything all >> this from the's grandson he says I once saw he says something incredible he says is always moving always moving like we learned in a previous mimer that the are called notim are called them because they remain standing in one orbit. Nishamas are always growing and moving. There's quantum leaps, quantum change, transformations. So he says, but nobody but we don't know which direction it's moving. So sometimes it's going upward, sometimes it's going downward. He says, so the nama goes down and down and down and down until it hits the lowest of places. >> What we call today rock bottom. Doesn't use that language. He's writes in Kadesh, but that's what he's describing. And now it has nowhere else to go because it reached the lowest lowest spaces. It reached into the abyss. But >> yeah. Yeah. Huh? >> Yeah. Rock bottom. Yeah. So what happens? But then Shama is a mahalak. So what happens now? It has to start going up because it's moving. So now from that moment it starts going upward only because it hit the lowest space. If it wouldn't have hit the lowest space, it still has where to go. What does this really mean? What does it really mean? Is sometimes the soul is sent on a mission to experiment every type of experience it could experiment with to see how far it can go to discover truth. Of course, it's subconscious. It's not always conscious. So, the soul will go further and further and further. It's like almost like a child is testing, you know, testing how far can I pull away and still discover truth. How far can I pull away and see who you really are? See what truth really is. And the soul goes to the furthest furthest places. It can't go any further. And then what happens? And from that place, it's like, ah, okay, I get it. I see who I am. Sometimes you have to completely estrange yourself from yourself to the point that you don't recognize yourself anymore in order to be able to recognize yourself. Now it's not an easy process. This is a very very difficult process because it's the soul really really tuning in to the purpose of the darkness. So it's going further further further further further further. On one level it's completely being alienated. On another level it's preparing the grounds for the ultimate deepest relationship. And it's it's hard. It's not easy because it's going into very very difficult places. And and some people actually have some experience of this. It's a very very powerful experience because the soul knows everything. And deep down it guides us in our journeys of life and it can take us to this insanity and to this craziness. But knowing all well that over there it's not going to get lost. It's just stretching it all the way. Stretching, you know, the the the rubber band all the way. All the way. And then, you know, you stretch the rubber band. And then you let go and boom, do you fly back. You fly back with such momentum like never before. And that's why it went down so low in order to be able to experience the ultimate unity. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. >> I didn't leave. >> The Romans killed him. >> How did they kill him? >> No. >> Tortured. >> They tortured him. Yeah. >> And what did he do when he was >> he was saying? Yeah. >> That was And that's when he understood that's when he was able to touch and he was in the deepest part of his pain. He was So you're talking about he he was laughing at the Romans. He was killed by the same Romans. Yeah. >> Went through he felt the pain of the Romans more than anybody, >> right? He felt the pain more than anybody. >> And that's why he was able to touch one day >> because >> Yeah. Sometimes when the soul reaches the depth of its pain, it starts seeing the truth of it all more than anybody else. Because remember, I don't mean to put it to give it words so much, but but remember what he's saying here. If the purpose of all darkness is to bring us back to the light with more intensity, that means the lower the darkness, that means the further we go away, the greater the light that is there. Think about it. If the purpose of the darkness is to bring us back, the so the greater the more is invested in that. the more darkness. Why do you need so much darkness when you had yesterday less darkness? And the answer is because I want you to have more light. So the contrast is the paradox is the further you're going away from the light, the closer you're getting to the light because that's the WHOLE REASON THAT YOU'RE going so far away. The whole reason that the child has been sent so far away from the father is to be able to return with much MORE LOVE. SO THE FURTHER HE SENT AWAY, the further the distance, the deeper the connection, right? The deeper the potential for connection, the deeper the intent. So when the soul goes to those furthest places, what does it really meet? It meets the power of the connection. It meets the craving. It meets the it meets the only in that place much more than in any other place. Now, how do we even relate to this of anything besides Hashem himself is receiving tanuk from something? There's me and there's the tenuk. Let's take it the most simple tenuk. There may be a piece of delicious food and there is me and I digest the food and it's causing me tanuk. I may be inhaba and receiving a flow of the and it gives me tuk. I may be learning a lot gor and I understand it and I comprehend it and I say ahra the gor was the source of the tanug the idea in the gor and I took it into me and I received it that's what everything is says besides in the source in the source he's not receiving tanuk from something he is the tanuk he is the source he is the essence of tanuk he is tenuk a equals tuk So that's a different magnitude of tus, different level of tenuk. IT'S NOT just more tinuk. It is tanuk in its atmus in its core. So this is really the of what was saying because here it is every you receive in life that's not a that's not you will always be a recipient always. You have to be I didn't create it. I'm always a recipient. The moment you tune in to the frequency of Tina that comes from Melus, you leave the mode of being creation and you enter into the identity so to speak of creator and now you're not anymore a receiver of the tanuk. Now you are the bliss. And said, "Wow. And that's why it's a whole different That's why once you touch that tanuk, you're never going back. It's not like, you know, the food was good, but the niggan was better. That's not what we're talking about. If it's a tinug of elus, you're not a receiver. If you're touching that frequency, so to speak, you don't experience yourself as a receiver anymore. You experience yourself as creator. In the it's there's no mitas outside of and that is a different level of tanuk. Suddenly you and the tanuk become one and it's so powerful that almost you feel like you're going to die in a good way. Not you're going to die because of pain. You're going to die because of bliss because you can't be separate in this bliss. You can't be separate. And if you can't be separate, you don't want an existence that's separate. So if you don't want an existence separate, you just want to surrender. No took it all the way, which was a sin because you're not supposed to take it all the way because you we're supposed to be here. He could have taken it all the way. He said we have to go back. The reason we can experience it is just to bring it back into this world. didn't do that. But what was it? The moment a person experiences of they're not receiving anymore. They're touching the source of it all. And now you are source. And therefore the bliss is so overwhelming and existence becomes a contradiction to it because existence means there's me receiving it. And here you merge into a and that tanug is so beyond overwhelming that the person wants to surrender everything. And there's nothing more powerful than that. But Hashem says I want you here in this world so bring it back. And that's why once you touch a you know there's a reference point forever that there will be no other bliss in the world that can even be a close what do they call a close second a substitute. Of course, myahara may still overtake me and you know I may get lost in some tiny for a few minutes that's pleasurable. But when you're present, when you're mindful, you know immediately that this is not just a bigger pleasure. You're talking about a completely and not even a different frequency. You're talking about of a different magnitude to the point that there's no word even to describe the differentiation because the remoteness between the two is infinite that there's no way to describe it. It's not like heaven and earth. It's not like the sun and the moon. It's not like versus a [ __ ] You're talking about a distance that's not describable in words because this is and this at best is you're a recipient of some AND IN THAT ITSELF IT could be the excrement. >> See the story how he the real way he acknowledged just by laughing. They asked him, "Why are you laughing?" He had to explain it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. He didn't have words. He just started to laugh. Very good. >> Yeah. Just started to laugh. They they they they were challenging him. So, he gave them a couple of words. And even those words, it took 2,000 years to understand. Even those words had to reveal to us. We got to do it >> because all the have a different explanation. Nobody says this. It took almost 2,000 years I'm telling you 7600 years 1700 years even for the words to be deciphered the the ponymous of the words every interpretation in words from all the maf is mis but the pimius the pimius of the words of revealed by the alterab to me like the whole thing is you got to do chuba I mean, just like the prince, he's going to come back to the palace and he's got >> he's going to come back. Everybody's going to come back. >> But the king ultimately the king has to be the one who gives who comes out. The king has one come out. >> King is waiting. He's always waiting. >> He never disappears. >> Of course. Of course. They say from the of they say the holy he said like this. It's a very very uh intense comment. He said when a Jew sins when a Jew sins essentially he's beginning his intention is to pave a new path off the beaten track to the he said he captured this whole vert. You hear when a Jew sins on one level he's BETRAYING GOD. HE COULDN'T CARE LESS. HE'S LAZY. He's lowly. He's immoral. He's weak. He's promiscuous. He's wounded. He's wicked. Whatever your your therapeutic diagnosis for him. And that's true. That's true. That's true. Nobody's turning sins into mitzvah. But the duj said if you want to do a MRI, if we can do a real MRI of what's happening inside the depth of his brain, a spiritual MRI, I mean, so let me tell you what's really happening. What's really happening is his soul wants to pave a new path to Hashem that was never paved before. It's like you're going on the 17 up to the cat schools. It's Friday afternoon. There's no way you're going to get to the bungalow colony. So you have a good jeep. You go into the forest and you pave a new path off the 17, off the beaten track to get to your estate in upper in the Catskll Mountains in New York. The Jew is craving to reveal to create a new path to Hashem off the beaten track. It's not the path that Hashem made. It's not the 17. It's not the road, right? It's not the So you say, "Yeah, he's he's lowly." I just that's on one level. That's the level of niggla. On the level of niggla, that's true. The level of pimus there's something deeper happening. He wants to create a new path. What's the new path from the darkness to come to light to COME FROM THE HOW IS HE doing that? He just sinned. The answer is from the sin he's going to have a yearning and a thirst and then what's going to happen is the says the sins are going to become mitzvah. Now become mitzvah. This is the vert of this mimer. They become the fuel of a hashem. They become the oxygen the the gas the the the energy THAT CATAPULTS him to speak. He says >> that's what the >> other spend a whole life regretting and kicked yourself. >> Of course, >> this is not here to say to go do sinning. If you're doing it with consciousness, it's aus. Of course, it's like betraying your soul. You put your finger in fire so you can go to a good doctor and get nice treatment. I mean, Yeah, >> if you're in your right mind, you don't sin. Of course not. Why would you detach from the source of life? But but was saying, but Hashem created darkness and he created opportunity for people to fall. And so you have to understand after you fall that it's not you're just a mistake. There's purpose here and ultimately you can take it with you can take it back. And that's the and that's why the tanuk falls down so low that from he says being immersed in tanugaza the breakdown that happens there's a thirst that happens and I say wow where was I all these years I was in such darkness I was in such confusion I was so disassociated I was so fragmented literally and from all the brokenness and fragmentation the vessel that you create the closeness that you create is of unprecedented bliss and and and attachment So he's quoting the say somebody says I'm going to sin and I'll do chuva afterwards. They don't give him a chance to do. So he says that said a Jew who says I will sin and I'm going to do it's not a suffic that he's going to do must speaking from the word suffic. It's not a doubt that he's going to get there. In other words, he's not contradicting the literal image. He's speaking from a soul level that deep down in the he knows I'm going to do chuva. This is just a for my chuva. So it's a no suffoc is going to get there. >> Everybody's looking for connection. And that's really that's really the essence here. There's nobody that's not looking for connection. That person has not been created yet and it looks like won't be created. I mean unless God has other plans that I don't know about that alterba doesn't reveal but that person was not created yet. Every person is looking for connection. And there's nothing. This is true. There's no sin that any person ever does. That's not a form of looking for connection. I'm looking for attachment. And this includes addicts who become addicted to craziness and insane. They're looking for connection. It's fake connection. It's it's pitiful connection. It's pathetic connection. But it's connection. And the same is true with mistakes and stumbling blocks and affairs and flirt flirting and all types of things that people do promiscuously immorally. It's all a search for connection. The question is what connection are you really looking for? And really we're looking only for one connection. And we're looking for one form of vas with a so what the is telling us and what this m is revealing to us is that deep down even that connection that this person is searching for and they're not going to find it in what they're looking for deep deep down their soul is guiding them with a GPS with God's positioning system and taking them to this fake connection which ultimately will become a springboard for their real connection and the fact that they're falling down into the abyss cuz this connection is not going to help them on contrary it may destroy them is only going to elevate them to much higher heights >> darkness >> from the darkness >> huh >> tug is the ultimate connection yeah because what is be what what what is behind attachment is tinug is the fuel behind attachment why do we want connection whether it's connection with your mother that's the first connection we crave connection with your father what is So you could say well I want milk. My mother gives me milk so I want milk. That's true under that I want connection because connection is the ingredient which is behind the creation of the world. It's the I want your I want connection. >> So that is what gives us life. That is what gives us the ultimate purpose. That is what fills our soul. The greatest pain of the soul is the disconnection, the the the detachment. And that's why when there's no attachment, it is so so difficult. And that's why for the bump of everything is everything is vus. The bump have nailed it. You know, people think that today's the world of psychology focuses very much on attachment. That's like, you know, one of the key words today in in psychological work. You know the wounds, attachment wounds and healing the attachment wounds from childhood and most issues in relationships and marriages is because of a lack of attachment. It's wounded attachment and you know we all have wounded attachment. Very few people don't have wounded attachment. So the bump in one word he said everything is about either you're attached or you're not attached like it's not so complicated. And what's 24/7 you never not you never don't want to be attached. There's no person in the world who says for 6 hours I don't want any attachment. I just want to be free. Cuz real freedom is attachment. Lack of attachment is not free. There's no there's no freedom without attachment. Attachment begins attachment to self to your soul to your divine to your inf. So in attachment you have tuk because attachment is bringing us closer to the core of everything and the core of everything is that in atmi is just tuk. Now you can ask a big question. How do you know that atmos hashem is not defined by anything? He says it's atmos >> right. The fact that there's tug here everything here comes from a source. That's why in Hashem there is tan and Hashem there is love. So it's not that it defines him doesn't define him. And because it doesn't define him the question becomes the answer. Because it doesn't define him that means that the tanug is beyond any definition. You understand? I was challenging it. I was saying how do you know there's tinug there? Maybe there's no tanug. The answer is we have tenug here. It comes from the source. That means there's tenug in him. But because he's not defined it doesn't mean there's no tenug in He means THAT IS SO POWERFUL that you can't even define it. That's how deep it is. And that's what he's saying. It's an which is itself that can't even be defined in words. And this is what everybody is searching for. This is what everybody is searching for. And we just don't know how to get there. We don't know how to get there. This experience, this is what gula looks like. This is what Msiah is. This is it. You saw it here first time. This is it. This is he's describing it. The moment you touch, the moment your soul, your heart feels, touches this nikuda, the source of tenug. This is it. This is this is the redemptive consciousness. Uninhibited redemptive consciousness. That's infinite. >> Sure. only if you're going to give it words. >> You said before that >> exquisite moa exquisite. You understood what he said? >> Yeah. >> In other words, I'll I'll I'll just summarize. >> That's what I was asking. So this was practical. >> This was practical. >> Not easy. But >> you have a dollar and you got a vending machine. >> Show us to summarize and we'll continue basing Hashem tomorrow because this this goes on. He's quite not finished the discussion here and actually he's going to discuss what you just said that every tiny in the world we can look at essentially as a vending machine. Right. And that's what I'm looking for. And even God could be a vending machine. Mhaba can also be a vending machine. And certainly physicality, spirituality. And I'm a receiver. I'm a receiver. And that's what I'm looking for. And it could be spiritual things. It could be very pure and very idealistic, but I'm still looking for the vending machine. Or as he says here, I'm looking to receive tuk from something. That thing has the magic. And I want to get it. It may be on a lower level. It may be on a more sophisticated level. It may be on a more spiritual level. It may even be on a holy level, but essentially I'm receiving from that thing. And then it could be the ultimate level, which is I want to ultimately receive everything and melt away into ecstasy and not exist. AND GOD IS NOW THE ULTIMATE VENDING MACHINE. The vending machine that becomes overwhelming and there's nothing else left outside of the vending machine. I merge into the vending machine. You know the miser with the balm. You know the bump, right? He showed his talmid once Friday night. They closed their eyes. They sang a niggan and they suddenly saw an oximel. They saw an ox with a striml on his head. So the bos said that this guy is now eating meat of an ox on Shabas and he's so immersed in the steak that he became the ox. So they said what? This is because the is of Shabas. It didn't change. So it's an ox wearing a Yeah. So I merged with the vending machine. I became it. So it's over here it's not an ox, it's alab. And what you're saying, what is saying is that there's something even deeper. And that is that since we're so Hashem gave you a piece of himself, so to speak. So you are the source of the tanuk. You are the vending machine, so to speak. What does it mean? You are the vending machine. You're channeling the divine in this world. You're the you are Hashem. You're one with Hashem. You become of of course because of your B, not because of your ego. Doesn't mean I am Hashem. My ego is Hashem. Because of my B. Because of which is one with Hashem, which is bottled to Hashem. So you are the source. You're not the recipient. You are the source. So when you're looking for where you looking, go deep inside, right? Go into your silence. Go into your kesser. Go into the depth of your soul because you are channeling Hashem who is the source of all of all the tanug. And then ultimately you learn that it's not. It's not about your death. You becoming not you looking to go and saying fill me merge me with your vending machine. I want to stop existing. There's something even deeper and that is one second. You are the source. So, and you're supposed to be that source in the world. So, why are you running away? This is part of the wholeish of or I should say the emphasis of says in another the mistake of the mira was that they huh >> they looked at themselves as they're too small. A and Eve does a mimer here in he says the mistake of the said that eats up its inhabitants. So is that it's a land that eats you up that you don't exist anymore. When you get eaten up the food doesn't exist. It becomes part of me. Right? The coffee used to exist but now where's the coffee? I I drank it. Says this in he says the wanted to experience to be completely subsumed in God. Yeah. What they weren't ready is for a deeper ble. The deeper bit is not that you merge with God and you cease to exist. The deeper bit is that you're actually separate from God. and you're present in this world because you are Hashem. >> That's a deeper B. THAT YOU ARE IT. YOU are the source. Don't run away from yourself to the source which is amazing. It's very very powerful. And in fact, if you don't have that, you can't really have the shuv because if you don't have any of this, so then you're just in the world separate. You can only appreciate this once you appreciate what we're negating, right? Okay, we'll see the he of all of this. We'll continue tomorrow 8:00. Everybody have a beautiful day. This class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.