The Single Greatest Segulah To Succeed On Yom Hadin - Rabbi Eytan Feiner Shlita

Welcome everyone. Tonight for sponsoring tonight to Mrs. Alman for support for tonight for his support for tonight's shares for tonight's share is also dedicated in honor of the daughter of which is taking place tonight as we speak. Machas from the newly married couple. Tonight we have the cover to have with us once again from finer to speak on the single greatest sigula to succeed on Madin cover the corner by finer for tonight's Russia. I don't know. Amen. Shalom. Good evening. And of course, an overwhelming expression of a Rabbi to Rabbi in the summer months. said it's a very safer called and it's an exciting compilation of various rash and sophetavis band and if you open up to pages 112 and 113 you'll see several dm a few illustrations of rash tavis ani vidi of course but several others and then the notes that if you take a close glance throughout you'll encounter 15 instances of rashis elo five instances of sophet so how many here can name all 20 how many here can name 15 how about 10 yes you'll open up and and you'll see all right the famous obviously it's a remal and in fact he's not the first one to tell it to us it's the of the harim that the of course is but the kit goes on to say several other corresponding accordingly So we have three, we have four, we have five, 15 examples of rash elo scattered throughout Tanakh and five instances of Sophie. So perhaps not that many individuals and Casol can remember all 20. Perhaps not so many can even remember the Kitsuk's four. But if you were to ask any shim any tell me one illustration of how would you how would you encapsulate an everybody knows that everyone's familiar with everybody knows that's what Elo is all about. But isn't that peculiar? Shouldn't that strike us as somewhat strange? After all, it's a pic taken from Shirim. Sher shim of course is the migillo is the story of the law between as the ko and the that corresponds to that will mention the bas that's why we began the journey the trick to where we got married in between us and writes that pertaining to we derive them from mountain had the mountain hanging overhead right to a safer from Makushian and Omel that was the example of the flame theor kept us for an entire year at the pedmont of Sai why so he had to keep us there's the kept us at the pedmont of Sai for a year's time that's the for year where was the Kenyan In the misadian writes the term writes in the beginning of peress. We have the mission of the outset of kadian. Where was the star via that was how the aister got married to we're no longer to parrot. Henceforth we're to the bore. So we start out as his aod and as we see in the tilis that we're referred to as bon when we crossed we see it in the of the boniz we were labeled bonum we got to until that relationship culminated in the of how apppropo therefore that we're going to lay on the So in the end we're going to learn from that's prop that's very that's all about we understand that's move all of that makes sense. Now here we are in and we're approaching the this is serious business right now. This is everyone's coming in front of the asking for everything. We're asking how our lives are on the line. Everything is determined. This is a time of what? I would think I would think this is we talk about the instead. What's the month all about? It's about the relationship between us and where's the where the is the we got married to Hashem. That's what we're thinking about. How are we to understand this? So perhaps one of the many ideas to be called to be extracted from this concept of anili vidi throughout all of leading us into the that's what occupies the forefront of our minds then clearly we've got to start with and if tonight's topic is the single greatest sigula to be nitin We've established a backdrop, a context of so let's begin with and whether it came to your came to one of your children when it comes to what are you looking for in what are you out to find when it comes to pursuing three things are all that matters when it comes to you got to have three things in the forefront of your mind real estates. It's location, location, location. It's midos and midos. What are we looking for? We're looking for someone who personifies, who exemplifies impeccable character traits, noble personal attributes. Meus is what it's all about. a member of Vad Rabar Felman Rasha Israel gave a few years ago to alumni saying he had the to marry off can I many children grandchildren great grandchildren and he says I could tell you in his life experience that the two most important things when it comes to pursuing a mean number one and number two sharing the same aspirations goals and ambitions in life you're pursuing a scopically the same basic pursuits in life. But number one, what's at the top of the totem pole? The number one key ingredient to look for in a successful marriage is midos. And also, let's open up Revlius. He's anle of Zat and he penned a fantastic and masterful work on aim called and there writes that he asked the illustrious Rabbi Yoshal and he says rebi what's the most important thing to look for in a expected Rabbi Yosh answered like the bells of Rabbi he mentioned meet us three times all you need Rabbi Yosh every word meet us that's it you got to look for meetups meters is the single most ingredient in a healthy shak. But then revalu went to viter and he said zadei I understand it's all about meos but meas is a large category compass is a lot of different meet I had a friend that was in the par for a number of years with me in Israel quite some time ago and he was going through the par was taking him some time and he had a beautiful with the say after dating for some years he goes to meet the and he says rebel I haven't found my basher hurts. What should I do? And he tells him, we'll call this person Ru. He says, Ruv, I want you to write down in a list the 10 things you're looking for most in a calos. He's excited. 10 things. Okay, I really have a hundred, right? But I could I could cail it down. I'll summarize 10. At least I get 10 things. And he takes a couple of minutes sitting by the skyba and he jotss down 10 things that he's looking for in ab looks at the list and he says, "Ru, now I want you to go ahead and erase six of them. I want you to take six of those things off the list." He got engaged the very next month. How many people were looking for 10 things, 20 things, seven, eight? Rabbi told him now wrote it down to four and of course Midas as expected was right there in the pole position in spot number one. So it comes down to meas but it's a very broad category. Which meas should one focus on? So Rippa continued and said Zadei and of all the myriad positive character traits which measurable the carnal ingredient in a happy productive successful marriage. The number one is midas havatronis being selflessly just to letting go sacrifice. Midas havatronis is the single most important trait for a healthy and successful marriage. the dorms. So on the par of let's head back to the real para of let's rewind to parasur is the search of the servant the ev and pursuit of the successor to the next and the matriarchal line the one who's going to take over alongside yetu after the petira the tragic untimely demise of suro at 127 years old albraino babam sends his trusted servant who grew grew up now in his house and was Elazer Kazal as well. Was he the son of Nimrod? Was he the evident of Nimro? Different opinions even og making correlations between Og and Alzar says okay past there were two different oaks in the end of the day Alzar was given over to Abraino and Alavino has his trusted servant who becomes the domestic we turn to do. He is the ev who's taking the gold and he's transmitting it to all the other people the trusted he's in the end of the day is listed as one of a nine people in the end of first who was the ganed and elzar was nish and elezar the trusted loyal servant is sent by Abraino to find a successor to Sarina. So he goes looking and what is he looking for? It's very clear from shelikra and of course we have the famous Iran in the dashes where Iran tells us why in the world is Abrau sending Elzar out of all places the home of Lava the home of Lovan who is engaged continuously in duplicity and deceit you're sending him to the house of what's going that's where you're going to run with a clown around yes they is they espouse idolatry but they have to understand that then also needs a beer but of course we do have and even says the reason why and was the one sent out by the shepherds she was a katano even said makius there's no way I'm going to send the gdola into the fields they certain this photo even writes the love on and when Rifka comes back with all the uh jewelry says hey you have invite him into the house a loving a yes there's certain basic meos that even loven and his family espoused and therefore what Dr. Hale Garan they could be ozor but if they have gus you could build on meas if someone has gus then we're in big trouble but it's got to be musen on great meos and that's on go out and find a girl with so we make our way through paras and what happens in fact how many times do we encounter camels camels all throughout the para with the recurring theme of camels that alaser leaves the house of Rome he's got 10 camels and toe writes through and his the gumm is to accentuate to emphatically drive the point home to Elazar. I want you to look for someone who is go the course is the paradigm of accordingly corresponds to he is the Torah dedicates revolving on the hinge of unique and unparalleled more than anything else he is the quintessential bass and that ma was sorry as well so what's he looking for the next in line the moes you're looking for sorry successor I want someone meas I want someone who's going to come along and not only give me water to drink but someone who's going to say I'm going to give you camels to drink and we're going to constantly talk about camels because it's going to be ingrained in the psyche of I want you to look at the camels the whole time and I want you to think Gome Gomez and that's what Gabino needs. So he goes out yes Tinus and Elas are still listed as one of the three who was showogen but he still got answered because of Kosovi had certain prerequisites criteria and play that set the stage for Rifka to go ahead and offer the water to Elazar to the camels. She is the one. She is the one. Why? because of her because of Gilas because of her midos to admifas the reason Abraov sends to that house because he knew that the girl who would epitomize who would personify and not only to human beings but even to camels keeping in mind Jacob travels to a place sukus asked I'm naming a place in doros after the fact that he fashioned the basic primitive tense huts for his animals taught the world you have to do and you have to manifest and display even the animal kingdom we're going to call a place forever because that's important it doesn't stop at human beings and it extends even to the scope of the animal kingdom. That's the epitome of is the choice candidate. So Elazu comes back he's got Rifka in tow and he tells this is the one after all there were amazing awesome miracles and Kazal tell us he had on the way there on the way back and he walked over the well and Elasa witnessed firsthand how the water miraculously rose to greet Riffon this is and he shares he transmits all that information tok and is not yet ready to marry heritz how much convincing do you need the aster did miracle after miracle of risky and his classic page 405. Don't you need any more convincing? I had water miraculously rise to the well to greet a riff and nobody else. And I had major pizza on the way there to and fro. Isn't that enough? Miracle after miracle. I don't want miracles. I don't want miracles. I want I want to when does fall in love the first time we mention love between husband and wife. Let's go to the end. And it's there that we read and then the concludes when when he brings her to the tent of his mother Sah and he sees she cites three out of the four that the Medus records the zorim fully mentions the first one. Shams the candle that ushered in kadusha shabas was miraculously never extinguished the wasyo and the wasure oh now I see holiness I see midas I see kadusha then and only then am I ready I'm not interested in miracles in the story he always reminded me of the ya the son of is once on a train with the son of and the son of the sharb turns to the son of the and he says by in the house of my theba I I see that whatever the tati says, whatever he gives. I see unbelievable all come true. I see the listens attentively and then he responds I hear but I think my is even bigger. He says what do you mean even bigger? Whatever my the says always comes true. He says here the house of go is whatever wants that's what is that's the house of says miracles galore gishmach very nice we'll put it in her biography but the woman I'm going to marry I want midos I want kadusha that's what impresses a yitzavina This is the par of perhaps parathetically it always intrigued me why is the classic across the spectrum of you name it it's pretty much classic you go to any I just came down from a girl in her young 40s just came right from that what's the braha that you give the should be everything should Yeah. Wonder where's the where do we get such what it's got to be couch in the context of the and you bet it is. So let's start with the what's well we have the back embraces the first thing and let's invoke the moral the grow of and others the rama already makes the point the first time a word or a phrase appears in that is the so then encapsulates that captures its true essence where's the first time we meet up with something that's low to the pages of bracious bases We understand the list five other things you show me and different but you're lacking to you're missing and mainly we say ah now you're getting married now you're getting your to before a man gets married he's incomplete once he's married he's finished What about the animology if you open up you'll see that in various conjugations appears but eight times and all time number eight is in par three times pertaining to defined of course as the ishmat but using again let's invoke the cl of the moral Let's go to the first time appears. And where do you think the first time we witness the appears? Believe it or not, it's in the Hashem should be what? I'm going to see if Hashem is and it'll be not just once, not twice, three times. No more than that. four times four out of eight times 50% of the mentions of including the very first one appears couched in a context of it's not at all coincidental why is the across the board it should be because introduced to couch specifically in the context of the para is doing all this evil That's everything. does everything. Yes, he does everything when it comes to it's ble it's glaring. There's nothing else to be told on but the aister is mavic the beginning told us that's sort of telling the Roman matr what is doing postcious he's spending all day being the par is where we're introduced to hence how apppropo it is it should be so what are we looking for if that is the par of then clearly the first place we look is what to find in the first pursuit of a shak and especially based on the ran and rashas the number one most important ingredient is midos and now has rifu has his wife but it all took place keeping in mind all through the means of So he needs big. Yes, I know he's I know he's always called and I know he's what is the that the entire continuity of made possible in gender the what's the let's go to that not the first time and of course many bother why is Rashi citing the menish embrace Why is he signing it the second time around? That's where she cites the maybe ah what happened because Elazar had a why he had a daughter and remember he's the biggest in the world right now outside of he's a he's a grace and I'm sure that his daughter was mamish the topak girl around she was the base go around unless she went to the house of love. So she's growing up in the house. I'm sure she was right. If there's she was right cuz I mean respons says the only reason why I can't go and do the it'll save us so much time. We don't have to do it in marina or in the sheriff. We'll just have you got it right here in the house. We'll save so much money on the sh and the big and we don't have to give love on any gifts. Of course, the only reason is because he's an and is a barak and it's not the but otherwise his daughter was right. Now can you imagine here's her whole life he is of he is he is the first of the he knows his daughter's roy he knows he's worthy on a level he's certainly a better than so here all he wants in life is my daughter's going to marry and alino says no now alino is mas if the isha doesn't go with you for whatever reason then if we have no alternative then your daughter's going to you can imagine here's and inside his heart of hearts what does he want he wants nothing more in life than his precious of a daughter is going to wed the next and what he is he sacrifices say do you know yes we'll have who's in her mind at least she's thinking she's giving up ya when she gives over the sim to her sister Leia But in the other day, where's the first of his entire future as the of the my connection to and my boy said, do you know any Gomorra anywhere? Anything in you know do you know the name of Elaz's daughter? Do you know what ever happened to her? Do you know if she even got married? Wow. Wouldn't it be a different story if she married Ysekavina? And we don't know really anything about this wonderful sadas of a young woman. We don't know if she ever got married. If there was any sense of continuity in that family was like you can't be masik gave up his life, his dreams, his entire hopes, his aspirations, his longing and yearning to be his dreams for his precious of a daughter. He gave it up that that's why he is there's a total vanis total self-sacrifice. He gave up all his dreams, his hopes and his longing. all to go ahead and make sure that had Rifka. He made we understand if the whole par came about because Elzar was then makes sense like that the most important to look for in a if this is the par after all the most important mid in the world to look for in a happy successful longlasting marriage is so that's a Philippia Israel St. Romeosh asking the god of the posor what am I supposed to look for like the bells of rebel like the rash is meet us meet us meet us but out of all the myriad the sunjas which one occupies the spotlight center stage meet us havatronus and thera makes a lot of sense because marriage after all is referred to and the kazal is a cessus writes Why quoting says the woman it's called? Why? Because this is a bris and she's only co-ay bris with the one who consummates the marriage as he says asks the moral prague why is marriage defined as a criesus after all you would think muscarishian what's marriage I'm bringing somebody extra someone additional into my life into my orbit but you know what the moral says that's not true marriage is described in kazal as a mice of cries's bris what's cus cores cries is cutting off what's because you want a happy successful marriage you got to sacrifice. You have to be there. You got to figuratively cut off a piece of yourself. That's why marriage is defined as a bris will cut things in half. That's a bris. You each give up and then you forge and merge a union that lasts forever. But it's got to begin and take place on the heels of a crisis. Crisis you have to do an act of courage. The biggest decision many will make in their lives is whom they're going to marry. Robert A Lavine writes in his book of geography a time. The word decision comes from the Latin ches side. Homicide cutting off of someone else's life. Suicide not cutting off of someone's own life and fantaside cutting off the life of a child. Decision comes from the Latin shish side. Decision is you're cutting off a piece of yourself. How deal? You walk into an ice cream store and you like vanilla and you like chocolate, but your wife told you you can only get one. You better not come home with two scoops. Yeah. And they don't have any swirls. There's no bitty ever mixings over here. You got to choose. And you're a big vanilla fan and you're a chocolate fan. And you go in and you get the vanilla. What'd you do? You made a decision. That means that the moment you decide on the vanilla, in essence, you cut off the part of you that wanted the chocolate. The biggest decision you have to make is I'm cutting everybody else out of my life and I'm cutting off a piece of myself to let someone in Asia Caress's brisk. That's the biggest decision you have to make. Interesting. Creus cares creus cutting off a piece of yourself because in order to have a happy healthy marriage, you have to cut off a piece of yourself. You have to be mater. Someone told me years ago, my wife never likes when I quote this, but it's a yua dick. One comedian shared with the world years ago that marriage is just like a tea bag. When you open up the tea bag, it looks great. It smells great. Everything is perfect all about it. Next thing you know, you pick off the lid and you see it comes with strings attached. Marriage is like a tea bag. It looks great. Smells good. Everything looks great. You open it up and next thing you know, it comes with strings attached. And before long, you find yourself in hot water. And after a while, it just doesn't make sense anymore. But everyone here has a great marriage, is working on a great marriage with marriage is like a teaag. Why? Because you can only produce and extract the flavor when you destroy the tea leaves. When you burn them up, when you sacrifice, I but they smell great. They look great. It's a nice packaging. You destroy the packaging. You destroy and you burn up those tea leaves. And now it's what produces the great fragrance, the aroma, and the taste of the tea. And that's marriage. You got to sacrifice. And the more you're willing to sacrifice, the more beauty that's going to come out. It's a great story of a shinpinkus. And he was a big masid in his time in yeshiva learning by rapinkus. And then he got married and all of a sudden he's married now and he figured okay I finished the parash I finished all the dating I finished the chase he found this missing rib he's good to go that's why parathetically writes anyone who doesn't who's not is not looking to get married his bones are going to blow up. Why is that? If you're not interested in finding the missing bone, then the remaining bones are going to have to fill the void, the vacuum of that missing bone. Hence, that's what you finished. You finished the dating. The tot comes over pink and he says, "Rabbi, I finished the dating and what? I thought I was such a masman. Now I got married and my wife says we still need date night once a week. Wednesday night, we got to play Scrabble and if we don't have time to have a scrabble, it's got to be bananagrams." I don't understand. And I used to learn nights and then shava it's got to be pizza ice cream monopolies whatever the games they have today and I know the game is all this I can't believe I'm such a and now I got to spend all this time with these games you didn't learn the olive if this between the husband and wife. Then is there a provides the provides the figurative that's the and of course there's 13 if there's going from and it's reciprocated accordingly going from to it's 13a from toala 13 to 13 and 13 is 26 here kovk you bring into the bias. He says that's not when you're playing ble or you're playing bananagrams over the banana split. It's a rendevu. You're bringing the but you got to give up. Yes, you want to learn every single second. Who doesn't? But you got to make time. That's sacrificing. And the woman, what does the woman love more than anything in the world? Her husband. And then eventually he met Hashem her children. comes to twice and watch their VIP pass into sends the people she loves most in the world I know her husband her children and she doesn't want to let them go and she sends her husband to the base marriage to learn and sends the children out to learn nikra taking the people that she adores admires and loves and cherishes more than anything in the funeral and she parts with them and sacrifices lets her husband go to learn as I sacrifice that's why we fingers when I was learning in the mirror so years ago he used to tell the guys cell phones were first coming out don't have cell phones and if you have a cell phone make sure you don't bring a cell phone into the bish because not only the but the wholear of your wife is that she's letting you go before 9:00 in the morning and you're not coming home from Second Ser until 6:30, 7:00 at night. But if you go with the phone and she knows that she can reach you and text you and email you at any moment in time, then she still has you on a leash, then she never let go of you. And she never let go, right? Oh, it's only for emergencies. Emergencies, right? You better stop and pick up the gallon of milk and the eggs on the way. Emergencies, right? Don't The whole idea sacrifice that she's letting them go. That's Kesa's a breeze. The woman sacrifices for her husband and the man sacrifice. You have to be bound. You have to let things go. That's the key to a happy successful marriage may we quoted the ram before in his rush and now we turn to the yet again this is in the in his beer on the riff and shamas in the first paria rift where the rift takes us to parakeet why is it called the writes the one of our gdm comes from vatishko to our vatishko is conotes the sense of serenity and tranquility. How do you have tranquility? The husband's got to be and has to give up on things. And the woman likewise has to give up. It's got to be a crisis. It's got to be giving up and sacrificing vatis. And that's the crucial ingredient to a happy healthy gishmaka marriage. But it's not just in it's in all of life. You want healthy successful relationships then you have to be willing to be matured years ago a fascinating work called and he says he takes us to a mission and perish and the mission tells most famously homer that's what belongs to me that's yours what's yours is yours that's what what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours okay that's the average that's called and that's again rabbi so we could spend all night in then according to the if what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours is still labeled it's still under the rubric of because really everything then what's there is no me why in kite you can't be a average is not for did it. The go they could work on being average. We're not average. We don't live lives. Somebody gets up after 120 gets a bitty evol am looking for shortcuts, right? You want to lose weight, right? We don't go to the the drugs. If the doctor says it's a different story, you exercise. Oh, we want shortcuts. A person's depressed will take the antib sure go. No, you exercise, you eat right, you sleep right, you get you get the right help again if you need a doctor there need but we're not looking for shortcuts. There is no measure. You got to step up to the plate and you got to be willing to live a life giving over everything. That's it. You have a nice car. You just bought a Tesla SUV. Okay, now let all your neighbors use it whenever they want. Ah, you got a nice watch. Okay, so lend it to your friends. Lend it to your neighbors. Whatever is yours, it's there. You're just a to share the wealth and to share with other people. That's this is what we have to do. And he says, that's what it means to be av when somebody insults you, somebody embarrasses you, someone hurts you physically, mentally, emotionally, and you just let it go. That's to the end degree and he says that's good for the in the moral who writes in the beginning of he says what do we see from the moral that is you think is oh every time and Harry were engaged in that means what mandates it's that we all have to make ourselves what's is the tell us repeatedly is the one who goes always going above and beyond the letter of the law. That's what we have to work on. We all have to be we all have to be you want to pass by your vis if Hashem seeks that you're letting go and you're being when other people hurt you and insult you and you might be right and you might be justified and you say you know what they're going to be mat then hey says I'm going to let it go and that's what it means and that's the that's That's what it means. There is no me for there's no we all want to be and we all want to go. We turn to kineski and this appears in a number of they asked the golad the saraty and what is the single biggest thing of after laying the groundwork here we are with the shil of tonight we're in the midst of right now and we're all seized and we're taken over by the and we're all searching we're on an incessant quest we need things how we going to How do you have to learn how to learn? You learning to learn more. Where's Frank? For example, we get up in the morning and we talk about where is we don't have to spell out Tyra. Torah is aiomatic that Tyra is the foundation of all. Torah is life. Torah is it. So said Torah is not the oxygen that we breathe. Torah is life itself. Okay. So Tyra is it but if you're not if you're not the biggest what can I do? He says what do you want from me told us the single biggest olive tells us at the bottom of the different call. There's one thing you get out of tonight. Besides the fact that Rabbi Finer speaks way too fast, but as they told me in the show years ago, Rabbi, if you would speak as slowly as you do in Davin as fast as you speak, then we'd be in really good shape. Uh, but you could always put it at the slow motion afterwards. There's too much entire to cover up by side. But this line has got to be put in your back pocket, in the forefront of your minds. Who is Hashem going to forgive? He's going to let the go to if somebody insulted, someone hurt you, someone robbed you, someone stole, someone embarrassed, and you let it go and you say, "I'm going to be a always works measure for measure." Amos says if you let it go I'm going to let it go the same says life comes down to okay but not everyone could be learning 18 19 20 hours a day like 22 at the end of the day I'm looking for the single greatest in school and it's right here in the single greatest thing if you want to forgive all of your forgive everybody forgive and forget to let it go. There was a comedian who once quipped years ago. He said, "I grew up I wanted a bicycle so badly. So, I prayed and prayed and I prayed to God to get a bicycle, but I didn't get a bicycle. So, instead I stole my neighbor's bicycle and then I prayed to God for forgiveness. Hashem's not going to forgive you." You know when Hashem's going to forgive you? If you could forgive everybody else in your life, if you could just let go, let go of all the no for we all want to be and is not itself. We want to go we want to be and that is number one. We have says all the safe is crowned to the choice for the beautiful magnificent embraces. But what about the other is called why? Because of one is for God's because of one. And what's that? Why? Because that's how you walk away from because that's the essence of life. You want to be a happy ender said forgive and forget to let go. But it's very hard for adults to do that. I'm going to share with you in you heard it a powerful he said you know the difference between children and adults says I'll tell you the difference. He says when a child gets into an argument with a parent and the father has to give a little patch to the child. So, and the Tati gives a little pouch on the hands of the child and the child starts wailing and crying and he looks up and he says, "Tati, you're the worst Tati, the worst daddy in the history of the world." And he takes away his lollipop from him that he just bought yesterday. Takes away his lollipop as a punishment. You're the worst daddy that Hashem ever made. I'm the worst party in the history of the world. And then a half hour later, the father comes over and he gives an even bigger lollipop to the child. He says, "I gave you the patch, you got the punishment, and now I'm going to give you an even bigger lollipop, and I'm going to take you to your favorite outing, your favorite vacation spot tomorrow, and all of a sudden, from one half hour to the next, you're the best tati Hashem ever made. You're the greatest tati in the world. And yet, you get into a into a conflict, an altercation of sorts, with an adult. You get into a fight, two adults, and then you try to forgive. No way. No. Just ju just make up and just forget. No way. I'm right. I'm right. Why does it take so many weeks, months, years for people in a fight to make up? Because children know it's better to be happy than to be right. An adult would rather be right than be happy. The profoundity. I know of a case of two relatives that got into a fight and they didn't speak to each other for 35 years. three and a half decades they didn't speak to each other and you can imagine a Vades expected it's inevitable it's going to trickle down to the next generation the next generation and families had nothing to do each other because of one silly argument 35 years they didn't speak to each other one Sunday and I heard this from one of the balisa one Sunday he says the man was already in his 80s and he says what am I going to I'm going to go I have to 120 and I'm going to go in there till the cap we don't speak to each other says you know what I'll just take the blade And one sunny Sunday afternoon, he walks over and they lived in the same neighborhood. Can you believe it? 35 years. Avoided each other, ignored each other and the families. No shas. And then all of a sudden, one Sunday, he says, "I'm going to make up." And he knocks in the door. He says, "Yes, yes. What do you want? I'm here to take the blame. It was all my fault. I'm sorry. Can we now get along?" He says, "Sure, sure. Yeah, it's all your fault." Okay. Great story. After three and a half decades, they made up Gavaldic. and they were very friendly on wonderful terms for the rest of their lives together. Is that a great story? It's a terrible story. All it took was a knock on the door when he was already in his 80s to just knock on the door and say, "It was my mistake. Just forgive. Just let it go." 35 years they had damage in that family because of one petty argument. Just let it go. But the tear said it. What's the difference? Children and adults. It's a great newser came out just recently by he sends me his farm and I hope he listens to this because I love Yeshua pess and I love his gabaldum. He sends them to my office at the white jewel. I try to go through them cover to cover. This is one of my summer gems. Great. We have to live our lives. We emulate the ways of the almighty above. We follow the says in someone who gets shamed, embarrassed, and doesn't respond. You get shamed publicly. You get embarrassed and you don't respond. You just swallow it. You just let it go. Uh we say that's the says where do we get it from? The says even what does he do? He just lets it go. And we know he just lets things go. Again, not but and we know what someone who makes himself just like the because what do we find nefarious blasphemes And hashem is stay silent. Hashem listens to doesn't respond. You got to do the same. If we have to be mah. So too we want to be open. used to say you want you want your children to get married you want children and then get a bra from someone who was insulted publicly and he doesn't respond and he remains ever quiet and says that's someone who has the power and the potency of from him take it from and that's going to be so what do you think is One of the most popular games in the world today. Most popular games, Lego. Who hasn't heard of Lego? Uh, scientists even estimate that at some point every person on Earth will step barefoot on a piece of Lego at some point in their lifetime. Uh, first introduced in 1949. It was invented by a Danish scientist, Old Kirk Christensen, and it is one of the world's most popular toys with more than 400 billion pieces on the planet. 60 billion bricks now being produced every single year. Who hasn't heard of Lego? You ever wonder why is it called Lego? There's a Lego land. You having your children, your grandchildren, maybe some adults are still playing with Lego. I in the end, why is it called Lego? So I looked it up. I looked it up and it's from the Danish phrase which means let go which is play well. Play well. But the fine diet there by side. It's not about play well. That's why the guy called a Lego. You know why? We're going to step on a piece of Lego some point in our lives. 400 billion pieces and growing by the second all over the world. Cuz when you step on that Lego don't forget an important lesson in life. And you see your kids playing Lego which many post can say yes the children can play with even on chab and many post can right that's not let it go just let it go be out there because like the said the kids got it right imagine your father your son said you're the worst tati the worst are you the worst parent in history buy him the nicest set of Lego and you'll be the best the kid will say you're the best why just let it go let it go a kid know it's better to be happy than to be right. But you can have an adults who don't they don't show up to children's weddings. Family members who don't go to each other sus who don't speak for years by look at the game Lego just let it go. Person's going to get up to Shay after 120. Ahaldic Tyra check from Dino this year from the dead. So if you're not the world's biggest mid we could still add on if you're giving stock after all once twice. If there's one single thing every single person here could do is the best way for the a church to just forgive your aus your if you want to just let go he works be a kid get back into that game of Lego forget the bananagrams forget to scramble with your wife this shabas when you're eating love you know what you should take out with your family take out a game of Lego and build something together. There's a little boy in the in my sh and a few months ago his father came over and said, "Rabbi finder, my son built a basos from Lego and he wants Rabbi Farer the rough to see it." I says, "When I was a kid, I had these big Lego pieces with I got to go with the base of Mikdos." Turns out they ordered a Lego set from saw tiny little pieces. He spent several weeks this young boy and mama miniature modeled on the base of Mikdos out from Lego to my side. And you know what? I was thinking of this young innocent boy who understands it's better to be happy than to be right. He understands you now you rebuild the bikdash with Lego with letting it go. That's what you got to take out of tonight as here we are at 10:00. Hit the buzzer. The one thing to put close to your heart this l is what is neighbor to want ani give him your ani selflessly be about give everybody your honey just let it go let it go and that's how we'll rebuild the bastodos that's how you'll be nit but then that's the key of m said we will build the bas if we do it right we don't even need the Lego we don't even need the actual building bricks all we need is tyal and olive binishi coming down the A shalom. If we pursue relentlessly shalom, then the binishi and will come down. spoke here two weeks ago for inspiring Josh for sponsoring tonight for support of the support of tonight once again tonight she is dedicated in honor of the of daughter of Mr. Mr. potass tonight should be they should see much from the young couple where whoever wasn't able to be for the annual dinner of August 18th can still join and come up to the front as a credit card machine of throughout the year or you can call or email isth.com become this great the not over the sh of continue throughout the year every Sunday morning Smith speaks in the stolen the shul at60148 street at 10:00 a.m. in English and during the week Monday through Thursday at 100 p.m. There are serum in Yiddish daily serum and serum from different every day. Amazing. [Music] Amen. [Music] Amen. [Music] trick. Another one.