The Shabbos Yid - Rabbi Avi Oberlander ZT”L - Yahrtzeit Sunday Night - [Archives]

There's certainly a lot There's a lot to learn. I still have things on Parshas Naso, last week's Parsha I want to get to and who knows, maybe today, maybe, who knows. There's also as the year winds down, we only have a week, literally a week from this Sunday is the last day this man. So there's there's a lot there things I want to speak about with just welcoming Eliezer and saying goodbye to others that things I want to talk about. But I want to share something that's remarkable. I think there's a lot of gain. I just gave a Hesped in Eretz Yisrael, they had a gathering, right? Overlander's yard sites tonight and tomorrow in Yeshiva, we will be having a gathering tomorrow morning. This Yeshiva he built this Yeshiva. It's not exaggeration, it's not the Yid put seven years, much more really because for a number of years before we started a high school, he was working already with me as a Shul Tephillah in the Bais Medrash. The first meeting I ever had to tell Rav Kalman I'm going to take the job was I made one condition. I This is just the truth. I told Rav Kalman on condition I could I could have Rav Overlander working with me. Rav Kalman asked me to start a high school. I set a condition Rav Overlander comes with me. That's just the truth and he poured years into the Mesivta. So there'll be a gathering tomorrow. Tonight in Monsey is going to be a gathering his Talmidim are making a gathering in Monsey tonight. So I just in Eretz Yisrael they had a gathering, it's already at night, it's after Shkiah there and I just spoke at the gathering. So I could put it aside and talk about other things, but I'd rather I'd rather share the following observation that I want to make to the guys. I think it's remarkable. We'll see what you think. Not that not it's remarkable to make such an observation. I think the truth is remarkable and and let me allow me to share. I had started a high school in Waterbury and was very hands-on to the high school. I was there a lot. It was local. It was in the city of Waterbury the first 7 years. I was there night and day. It was it was a job that was it I don't think it'll be exaggerating to say 16 hours a day, 18 hours a day. I'm not It's hard to give exact times. I don't want to say an exaggeration. It was a full day in and out. Doesn't mean always back home, but I always was there. It was local. So, I'd come in middle of the night different times. It was a full-time job. There was one day Shabbos that I couldn't be there. I had a shul. I was the rav of the shul. And Reuvain Landu to me at the time it felt like an act of I don't want to say the word convenience. Like, okay. Like, shrug. Like, okay. Reuvain Landu runs. He was very capable. And for 7 years of this mesifta Reuvain Landu ran Shabbos. Now, at the time it was like it was just the way it was that like it was almost like a practical It was a practical thing. He was very capable, very able. And Shabbos was his. He ran Shabbos in the mesifta for 7 years. And again, that was like almost I I I couldn't do it. I have a shul. I can't help and I can't be in two places. I'm I have shibbudim to my shul and I was in shul every Shabbos. Yaakov walked in many, many weeks. Almost every week. It used to be the first year was not one in, one out. We actually had periods of four in and one out to three in and one out. It was not one in, one out. And weekly I would walk in for shalah shudis. That was a weekly. We went the 3 miles. Yaakov did it dozens and dozens and dozens of times with me. We I walked in with my kids. With Yaakov Menachem, Moishe, we walked in. Howdy walked in. But with Yaakov it was a weekly thing. We He in the 3 miles to be there shabbos. But the rest of shabbos layl shabbos ayning shabbos shabbos morning the davening of shabbos overlander and akiva. Now at the time that was like a thing of convenience. I want to say overlander's connection to shabbos was loyal woman. And having a year to reflect and anybody who's close to him his attachment to shabbos was like a different otherworldly. He made a beautiful ayning I was probably between 5 and 10 times to stay by him for shabbos and to be part of the ayning over the those 7 years. The ayning he ran in his house was beautiful. He would wake up he'd go to sleep in the middle of the night. The ayning was unforced and the way his family describes his own private avoid of shabbos was stunning. He would buy things from Sunday for shabbos kodesh. He had a brother to do something everyday of the week for shabbos. From Sunday he favorite safer in the world was nesivos shalom which takes everything and ties it back to shabbos. And he had a remarkable connection to shabbos. The ayning was like very elevated. He brought till he sang it I I never heard of I shouldn't have I probably heard of it. I never saw somebody sing it. The ayning in his house was a big thing for a lot of guys. He brought them into life. Even the kiddush that till today we serve herring was his initiative. He would created the kiddush and what we served. He had a beautiful attachment to shabbos. It surprised no one that he was nifter on shabbos. His neshama was very attached to shabbos. The last many weeks of his life he thought it was shabbos everyday. Say good shabbos good shabbos. It was shabbos. It's interesting he was just very very attached to shabbos. Now I ask myself and I have no idea all of a sudden like hits me that one second like here you have like a just like a chance as for shown like coincidence as for shown. It looks like a convenience he ran Shabbos then like you have time to reflect he was Shabbos and he was connected now you could claim and I don't know the answer that maybe this helped form his connection to Shabbos. Maybe that responsibility is what created his incredible attachment and it might be that alone amazes me. I don't know. I just know there's a Hashem running the world and I find it remarkable that he knew at a beautiful time in Shabbos was and Hashem arranged he ran the Shabbos days. And I want to say like this that Shabbos is right Overlander is what he was known most is tremendous emunah which is beginas Shabbos. He had an emunah that was very real. He went through a lot four years before he was nifter. He went through a serious sickness during COVID. He was in the hospital. He was on I think he was even on machines. Is that is that true? I'm not sure if he was on machines. He was deathly ill in the hospital and throughout he maintained a tremendous faith that was very much who he was. He was a tremendous in emunah person had tremendous faith when good hands. While he was sick it was hard to get him people around him protected him and maybe pushed people away and but what you got out to the world I'm doing good. I'm doing good. It's good. It's good. It's good. And there was a real space of faith. He was an person who had tremendous tremendous emunah. His father is like that. His father spoke at the levaya. It was not believable a father losing a son. It was remarkable a man who's loyal to Hashem were in good hands. Hashem knows what he's doing. A person of tremendous faith. His father was known like that. I I know his father. Should live many, many years. And Rebbe Olan, the working closely with him was somebody who had tremendous emunah, real practical emunah. He trusted Hashem. He lived with Hashem. He spoke about Hashem. And faith was a guiding It kept him calm. It kept him present. He was a person of tremendous emunah, which is b'chinah Shabbos. I spoke the Chida writes that erev Shabbos the big challenge is akiva with anger. Many homes erev Shabbos, mom, dad, there's a lot of anger. The shallow person thinks stress preparing for Shabbos. It's a bunch of hot wash, no shai. It's not not the p'shat. There's other You have stressful things. I'm not saying that doesn't exist. That's not The The p'shat is a spiritual p'shat. The Chida writes that the main yetzer hara for ka'as is erev Shabbos. And the only mikap p'shat is ka'as is a space of my power. Ka'as anger Yisrael is when people feel my way. It's like all my way. I want Ka'as is an expression of my way. The six days of work are kocho v'eitzem yado, a person's power, my power. We work hard. Shabbos you give it up. A yid is not creative. Hashem's the creator. Friday afternoon is the deepest, the most strong in the deep waters of the work kocho v'eitzem yado. That's the most ka'as erev Shabbos. You're the most distant from Shabbos kodesh Friday afternoon. And a person is seeped very deep into my power, my work. So it's the most likely to have ka'as when it doesn't go your way. The three Chazal that ka'as on erev Shabbos, the Gemara in Shabbos lamed aleph that speaks about Hillel that the person tried to get hello angry. Rashi says Arab Shabbos Aya. The Gamorah in Gittin that the advice for Shabbos, the directions of Shabbos say Shara to me rab to me because I'm there. Through the memory of the sea, you have to say calmly. Don't say with anger. Gamorah later in Gittin says that in Reb Meir's neighbor, in his in his neighborhood, there was a couple that would fight Meir of Shabbos lair of Shabbos. They'd be because they would fight. Says Eliana Rebbi stopped coming to Reb Meir until he calmed them down. But you see Arab Shabbos is a tremendous the sign of cass. The Chida writes that the avoid of the year while learning brachas, the brachas it speaks about Rav Davin Shabbos the Arab Shabbos. The avoid is to be Mekabel Shabbos earlier person is to have to save Shabbos is in the deepest spaces of the void is to bring the moon of Shabbos. But it's in a Talmud Chacham is supposed to be bechina of Shabbos. There's a maiseh with the Bal Shem. You know this maiseh with the Bal Shem once so chill Shabbos and he was tremendously destruct. Why did Hashem make me see chill Shabbos then? He was destruct. And he did a nefesh and he concluded that he was pagaya in the cover of a Talmud Chacham. A Talmud Chacham is bechina of Shabbos. So Hashem was giving him mussar. He was seeing chill Shabbos cuz he was part of chill Shabbos. You know what chill Shabbos the chill of a Talmud Chacham the Talmud Chacham is bechina of Shabbos. And Reb Aryeh Overland there was a bechina of Shabbos. It's like clear like that. He was somebody who had a deep attachment to Shabbos. The emunah that like that that really emanated from him. He somebody had a beautiful attachment to Shabbos. I think it's cool through him. I think about the hashgacha that he ran the Shabbos in our mesivta. It's like crazy. At the time it's just like oh convenience And then like later you have a little time to reflect that Hashem ran that all. And Hashem put somebody to bring Shabbos to our Khabura, to lead Shabbos, to encourage Shabbos, to run the Shabbos davening. And hey, one second, he's bechinas Shabbos. He had a tremendous attachment to Shabbos. The Hashgacha of that, like it it it get I was I I I I I've been obviously it's topic on our all our minds this year. All of us who were close to him and talmidim of his and friends of his, he's on our mind this year. And this occurred to me over the year that that which looked like an act of like, okay, I'm stuck. Rebbe land the wrong shop. Kailish, Hashem's running the exact things. He's putting the ones where they're supposed to be. Who's supposed to do what? I think it's remarkable that Hashem put a person who had such an attachment. It could be this helped build, I'm sure it did. I'm sure it helped his attachment to Shabbos. I don't think that was the start of it. It sounds like even from from young there was an yediah to Shabbos Kodesh. Every Yid has. To say that created a Yid. But he had a tremendous chiyus in Shabbos Kodesh. And the Hashgacha that he's the one that ran Shabbos and able a big mark of many talmidim. Many of his talmidim are married and and have their families their own and they all strive certain type of shmira Shabbos. To have good candy in the house, that it's a freilich, that Shabbos is like joyous, to learn Torah of Shabbos, to learn Torah on Shabbos. He would go to sleep incredibly late cuz the einik went 2:00 3:00 in the morning. He'd wake up very early Shabbos morning. Wanted to learn Torah early in the morning and he wanted to be present to Shabbos. He did not sleep a tremendous amount. He really cared for Shabbos. My father had a a very close friend, Dr. Feibish. They were They were in amazing friendship. It was my father's best friend in the world. What's fascinating is Dr. Feibish's name was Yeshua ben Menachem Mendel, and that's my father's name. Same name, same father's name. Like something like not from this world. These two best friends, who are both together in Olam Haba, had the same name, the son of their father's name. They were both big neshamos and and and very dedicated. They were accomplished people, big workers. I remember I twice in Hervey. This friend of my father, Dr. Feibish, who didn't have the opportunity to go to yeshiva like us. I believe he went to public school, but he was a tzaddik of a yid. He wouldn't sleep for about 15 years. He didn't sleep on Shabbos. Stay up the whole Friday night, didn't sleep. He didn't want to miss a minute of Shabbos. He says, "Go to sleep? You're kidding me?" He didn't sleep on Shabbos. Stay awake. He wanted to be awake the entire Friday night. He was learning, singing with his kids, schmoozing with his family. For many many years, he didn't sleep on Shabbos. He just didn't want to miss a minute of He wanted to be present and awake. He didn't want to lose one minute. Right? Overlander had this attachment, this unique to do something all week for Shabbos Kodesh. To then open his home in a beautiful way. I loved that the one had a very high, but it was not intense. His kids, Kiki, would do magic tricks. He was giving out challah. The people were enjoying. It was not like this He's trying to make this intention. They were plugged in to Shabbos. It's beautiful. Johnny, you were there You were there, Johnny. Who else? Yaakov, you were there? Yehuda, you ever there? Rabbi Ezi Shlita was there. Yehuda, you ever there? No. Once you were there? Somebody just told me they were there once, one of the Rabbi Ross. Were you ever there? No. Yaakov, we were there many You probably there much more than me, cuz there were times you'd be there Shabbos. Michoel, you were ever there? >> We are in the same >> What? >> We are in the same >> At the Eynayim, right? At the Eynayim. Very beautiful the [snorts] word the Hayom a heavenly a uplifted matz it was a very special this whole on hug this whole attachment the davening of Shabbos Kodesh that were very important to him. Yeah. Yaakov and I both have a sensitive I want to tell this to the guys very important to me and Yaakov and I both get upset who I'm very protective during the week is obviously now I have a I like different people davening for the amud it's very I'm very protective. I don't experiment who davens for the amud Friday night Shabbos davening. First a big thing it brings the tzibbur place I'm very protective. Johnny's davening who that I'm not like explore a guy I have to know he's going to get up and bring the tzibbur places the davening right over there and it's very protective. Who davened in yeshiva it was not just open it wasn't exploring experimenting the davening was very precious and big and important there was a big value to them. Who davened for the amud was very specific as is here we're protective there've been guys over the years Rabbi can I have a chance I did the guy is not a I love the guy he should daven and if he works and gets to a space where he loves the davening where where he where he could do it professionally it's and there's a space somebody could say why don't you give a guy a chance to try to see to learn I hear I hear. He should practice on his own practice for a few years. The davening is very it's very important and very big and who davens affects a lot. It affects a lot. It's interesting growing up I had very bad stage fright. And like paralyzing stage fright. And specifically singing was very hard for him. So davening for the amud, I'd lose my breath. I would choke. I couldn't breathe. I'm not talking about stage fright nervous. I'm talking about I'm talking about you can't breathe when you when you literally you need to call Hatzolah at stage fright. And I wanted to daven for the amud Shabbos. My rebbe held I should try to break it. That's What's that called? Exposure therapy. But I never He never would let me daven Friday night. I would never daven Friday night. I'm not good at it. Friday night. So I would daven Shabbos mincha. There you're not hurting the tzibur. Shabbos mincha. And even there my rebbe trained me how to know the nusach. And when I did it wrong he called me over. You didn't get it right. He was very makpid my rebbe, very. And who davens Friday night Shabbos morning? He never would have let. That's not a place to work on your stage fright. That's a It's a different so you Shabbos mincha that feel is not a lot of singing. But I would I would work Shabbos mincha to to conquer stage fright but not Friday night or Shabbos day. But I wanted to share this There's a lot to speak about Rav Olan and we'll have a chance. We're going to gather tomorrow. Rav Silverman is a talmid muvhak. I hope Rav Silverman speaks. I hope Rav Usnisky speaks. They're both talmidim. Rav Usnisky is a chaver. Rav Rav Silverman is mamash a talmid of Rav Olan and I want them both to speak. Could be we'll get some others to share recollections. Could be Rav Ezzi will speak. I don't know. Can't promise so but I I do want to I want to make a minyan at 11:30 tomorrow on his yahrzeit that in his yeshiva that he put so much effort that should be that should be drashos. I want to say that that I have tremendous gratitude to him. Tremendous appreciation. This yid. I appreciate that Hashem sent him us and I appreciate what he did. He He has a tremendous chelek. I look around the yeshiva today. I was around them. Still I'm walking around and I love this yeshiva. It's a makom of beautiful growth. He has a tremendous scale. Avi, were you ever at a Friday night? Wow. You would have liked it a lot, but you are you are because it lives and he lives We're we're we're trying to keep going, but he brought something here. He brought something here. The Yeshiva that Avi has given tremendous amounts to and gained tremendous amounts. True. That's true. That's true. >> [applause] >> There was an Avi who came before this Avi. And he he put He just put tremendous It's it's it's it makes my mind It's like wild that Hashem sent him here. He's to me one of the great principals in the country. He was like born to be a principal. Somebody could say Kalish hyperbole. Maybe you're I One of the up and growing schools in the country, a very formal school, hired him and he was a huge powerhouse there for 3 years for close to 3 years. So, it's not just a claim. I knew when he was here. I said this. He's one of the great principals in the country. He was confident, put together, talented, wild. And Hashem sent him to us like in a wild circumstance. He was an older He was living by It's like It's like a Just all everything was heavenly. Everything was directed by Hashem and apparent. Very apparent. The Nisan that we had him that he formed our Yeshiva that we be in and gain from our It's our base medrish. He was one of the formers this base medrish. Tremendous Hashem. It's cool to see Hashem through him because that's what he was a He was a A you see Hashem. And in his own story, he ran here. It's like ran like It's like crazy. You would look for a Shabbos Yid run Shabbos, and Hashem like arranged it all that a Shabbos Yid ran Shabbos here and brought Shabbos here. If I could ask if I could ask and we'll gather tomorrow and people could respond in their own ways. Anybody who likes the Yeshiva, you have a gratitude to him. His Yahrtzeit tonight and tomorrow, the specific the specific anything in it terms of Emunah. Somebody could learn Sefarim on Emunah. There's beautiful Sefarim on Emunah. Any chizuk on on on self-talk to oneself to remember amidst turbulent things. We all have complicated lives. This world is An Neshama on this earth is a journey. But to really be mechazek ourselves to really connect to that space Hashem runs the world. To be mechazek whether it's learning Sifrei Emunah, whether it's being mechazek in minyan. He had tremendous seriousness to minyan. We're trying this year. A big goal of mine was to get the minyanim nicer. I love how Shacharis is going. I like Shacharis a lot. Mincha is much better. Even Maariv is getting more of a form. Rebbi Nachman likes the davening. We have to be mechazek to that come to prayer. He valued a lot tefillah. He had a certain dignity. He ran the minyanim for years in the high school. He cared a lot about the minyanim. I'm asking by the way right now I'm davening for the Amud. I want good ba'alei tefillah. I'm going to get up there and daven loud and put your kishkes into tefillah. Rav Overlander brought up beauty. He had There was a dignity to his minyanim. He was tough. He didn't want talking by the minyanim. He wanted a certain dignified beautiful minyan. A minyan of people praying to Hashem. A beautiful minyan. Our Shacharis is stunning. I appreciate it a lot. It's a beautiful group of people praying to Hashem in a beautiful way. I want to say that he the minyanim the Shabbos were big aspects that he brought to them in Yeshiva, I want to reclaim and make sure that we're loyal to the type of davening that he envisioned and created here. There was a certain There was a There was a class and a dignity in Yidden praying to Hashem. It's a dignified matzev. That's It should be a beautiful matzev. So many youngsters are forced to pray and it becomes a different different thing. It could actually be a beautiful the Yidden a matzev tfila and he had created a beautiful minyan and ran a beautiful minyan. It's something I want to be mechazek. Any area that we can work on Shabbos, any area. It's interesting. I call I've been calling over bachrum. I like I I just I I like our guys. I I called over a bachrum in the dorm. He's walking around, believe is walking around. I called him over. Said, "You came You came about a year and 2 months ago. And I said, "You're here now." The guy Wait I don't tell me inside what's going on. What's the change?" The guy who walked up into the Yeshiva. He said, "It's interesting." He said, "I like Shabbos Kodesh." Said, "I came here Shabbos and" Said, "I like Shabbos today." It's interesting. He said he likes Shabbos and I become closer to my dad. I'm closer to my dad. He said, "Me and my dad learn together and I like Shabbos today." He's very careful about Shabbos. So beautiful and an introspective person. I like Shabbos today. Reb Olander was a was a big force in creating the Shabbos this year. Our beautiful Baruch Hashem we have two in a row now. Bezras Hashem this Shabbos will be an after party. We're going to do Duffy's the the oneg the last two. It's the oneg is going to be in the dorm. Right to the dorm. Everyone bringing the whole Yeshiva to the dorm. Starts the last 2 weeks that. It's more of a zman but um but really the beautiful Shabbos this we owe to Reb Olander and I I stand in awe that Hashem put somebody who had such a beautiful attachment to Shabbos to run the Shabbos says you wonder I wonder in my life how many things that just happen that you think like well convene one a second as I share I'm running it exact. Who's running? When they're running? How they're running? There's an exactness. There's an exactness. Yeah. Yeah. I see because of I Overlander and that like nice I appreciate we share years and years lying in the yard that I live here being here. I share my great to us things look like oh worked out. As I share I was not just working out as I share I was running who's preparing who's creating who's making who's organized. It's not just working out like whoa okay that worked that worked. There's a who's making they go who's sending people where they need to be where they need to go who's organizing. Sometimes in our life we could pause and notice that and tap into that and even gain a strength and a from that in our own decisions and our own choices to gain a certain comfort to gain a certain energy that to know we're in good hands. I share I'm guiding guiding well. So I wanted to share this with the I wanted to invite everybody here really to invite everybody here tomorrow at 11:30. I will try to arrange again I want to ask I Silverman I want to ask I was sneaky I'll try to arrange it could be tonight I'll ask one or two tell me them to come. Actually I do that after this gathering in Monsey I'm going to try to arrange a town to maybe my screen will come to town to to share the collections he's certainly a worthy person to talk about to think about to remember so that's what I'm going to try to do over the next over tomorrow have an outstanding day and slap a hand. Thank you all more.