The Shabbat Show - Episode 29: Confidence vs. Arrogance - A Balancing Act

and hello everybody welcome to another episode of the shabbat show so great to be back with you again what an honor to be with you i got to tell you i look forward to this all week i hope you do as well one of the great uh we've been getting a lot of emails as we transition for those who are joining us for the first time thank you for those who have been back with us before you know that we used to be on friday afternoon or an hour before shabbat around 5 30. and in that transition time there's you know people are adjusting to the new time and i got an email this week from someone who said you know she misses it on friday i appreciate that but says you know the good thing is that now shabbat just comes early and i feel that too i hope you do as well thursday night that's it eight o'clock thursday night we're rolling that's it's almost shabbat like you can like taste it feel it the colors aren't out yet but okay almost it's great to be with you again and every single week we try to pick a topic that really is a sort of the piece of our lives that we can get better we can think about and this topic in particular i think is not only relevant but it's critical definitely something that we're going to talk about on shabbat i hope at your tables and it's a topic of confidence and arrogance how does it work confidence and arrogance you know we have this i think this misperception of what the torah what judaism speaks about when it speaks about humble being humility someone being humble and when you think of someone who's humble you may think of it like the person is meek and he sits in the corner and his head's always down another there's an aspect of uh of walking with a certain level of reverence but is that humility is humility just keeping your head down and assuming that you can't is that what this is about if you look at the profile of one of the greatest leaders of old time moses you see this is a man who did anything but put his head down he went up against the most powerful man at the time pharaoh they went 10 rounds can you imagine what kind of guts you need to walk into the egyptian palace during the time in the the height of the strength of the egyptian monarch and ask for him to let out two to three million people and then to come back again and again and be like yeah you think okay let's do this you know what kind of you know what kind of person you have to be that after the jews sin with the golden calf to stand before the creator of the universe and after god himself says i want to destroy the jewish people you say if you're going to show the jewish people then erase me from your book can you imagine saying that you're playing you're blackmailing god you're saying if you destroy him and going with him how does he do that he must be very arrogant no in fact the torah says the most humble man in the history of the world was moses how how could that be leads a nation deals with issues goes up against god goes up against man and yet as the ho the most humble man there's something here and so we're going to explore it together confidence arrogance what's that line how do we draw it and how do we live lives that are confident which is aligned with our godly way and connects us to the divine source and not that is arrogant which actually blocks us from our divine source are we going to talk about we got a great show coming up thank you so much for being here first and foremost i want to talk about what's going on this week in project inspire this week we've got a new mind flex it is with a great rabbi who is incredibly insightful his name is our vietnam i've been hearing him for years you don't want to miss him his topic is is heaven a red or blue state how's that for timely topics you want you don't want to miss that that's for sure next shabbat next thursday night we have an incredible show i want to give you a sense of what's happening what's coming down the pike right next week is the annual shabbat project those who don't know what that is right we all know shabbat is a day of of of togetherness a day that binds to jewish people for generations now the chief rabbi of south africa years ago decided that he wanted something special so he picked the shabbat and he invited people from all different backgrounds to to participate doesn't matter your denomination your level of observance just have one shabbat together well that idea became a runaway success as people from all over the world started calling and wanted to be part of it and at that moment what was born was the shabbat project now from its inception it has grown to thousands of events that has that celebrate shabbat in more than 1600 cities and 106 countries that's what's happening next shabbat is the shabbat project and we're going to be celebrating it with thousands and thousands of jews and what we're doing here on the show is we are having a special so first what's happening is on wednesday night there is going to be an online holiday you don't want to miss it with project inspires very own robin marrison from scottsdale arizona you don't miss that that's going to be taking place the great halabik on wednesday night and the following day on thursday there's going to be a three hour special it's gonna be great we're gonna go get we're going to this new studio we're having tons of guests it's going to be a three-hour extravaganza the first hour is the women's power hour and then we're gonna go we're gonna have a two hour shabbat show you do not wanna miss it so please make sure you mark your calendars next week eight to eleven eight for the women's power hour nine to eleven it's gonna be the shabbat show tell your friends remember you could always go to shabbat show.com to get there so please tell your friends one other thing we've got taste of shabbat this week so check that out as well we've got taste of shabbat this week as well that's taking place you don't want to miss that here's the the ad for that there's a lot going on that's how we're all right there's a lot going on let's take advantage of it and of course we've got a great show coming up for you kahoot kahoot.id if you're watching just get ahead of us kahoot.it's coming up and like you know i'll tell you when but get ready we've got uh the attorney lynn goodman is on the phone on the on the show with us today we've been great we got the president of rockwell management corp anton mur was with us as well we've got this incredible athlete and psychotherapist you don't miss him i remember watching him on tv it was an awesome thing yamaka on it was phenomenal you could it's gonna be great well michael newman's on you we're gonna meet we'll talk to him as well of course we got jamie geller videos inspiration it's the shabbat show let's get going again and it's great to be with you again of course shout outs shabbat shalom zoom facebook send this to shabbat shalom because it matters and i got to tell you something one of the feedbacks that i got from the show is somebody emailed me i think i said this once in the show before if i did i apologize somebody emailed me and they came to the show for the first time and they said their favorite part was shabbat shalom i said how come he said because i just like hearing people's names and where they're from it made me feel like so proud that i'm part of this nation that it has such a large expanse all together of the same celebrating the same things i'm like you know what i tell you i feel the exact same way so make sure if you want we'll give you a shabbat shalom make sure we're either on zoom or on my facebook page and i would love to to give you a personal shabbat from over here and of course what would be a shabbat show without one-on-ones there's so many people that signed up for one-on-ones if you haven't yet i don't know why why you're holding out one-on-ones these custom bespoke learning programs we hook you up with incredible people you pick the wisdom you learn together don't forget text one on one on to 97 000 for your opportunity to gain more wisdom okay let's begin we're going to talk a little bit about confidence and arrogance now this okay our first guest lynn goodman is here lynn is the graduate graduated from bart on college in cordoza school of law she has been practicing for over 30 years specializing in wills trusts and estates and transaction real estate law both commercial and residential lynn thank you so much for joining us on the show thank you for having me it's you know i know your world i grew up in it right i was born in the world of corporate law and so i'm familiar a little bit but from where you are in your perspective you must have seen this dynamic all the time right constantly in the boardroom i know you spend time in a top wall street law firm arrogance confidence and i'm sure you've met your fair share of very arrogant uh individuals share with us your perspective on how this plays out at work it seems like arrogant people get further how does that how's the dynamic work especially in a high-powered world like corporate law i'm not sure that arrogant people necessarily go further i believe that people with extreme confidence and a very hard strong work ethic go far i think if you're too arrogant you end up tripping and falling on your face eventually um it's not arrogant to take gifts that we're we all have gifts we're all born with different abilities and i don't think it's arrogant to take those gifts and work very hard to use those gifts to do the best we can for ourselves our community our society um you know the jewish people i agree with you completely and i think at least for me when i was growing up and i was my first few years in davis poke and i remember the feeling of looking over to that lawyer who was arrogant and it seemed like you got to do that to make it and it just felt wrong and sometimes in life people think that they feel like you know how come that guy's got it or that person is making it or they seem to have more stuff and i guess because i'm not pushing myself more or i'm not stepping on that person so what has been your experience with that in terms of seeing those people and how it really plays out look to a certain extent you do need a huge amount of confidence sometimes bordering on arrogance to accomplish certain goals i don't believe you need to step on other people to make it in this world there are times that you're in a situation where that is the case and then you take stock and you say either i want to be here or i don't want to be here and you find a way to step back and refocus yourself right you know it's interesting i i understand that that you left big law and you had this great advice that your grandfather gave you about that move and holy crisp can you share with us a little bit about your grandfather and that advice that seemed to be so powerful to you oh i you know what um i started out at a large wall street firm i have three children i i downsized with every child by down by downsizing i don't mean that i did something less important but within the the world's view of a corporate structure i chose to go to less prestigious um environments that would give me the opportunity to control my own life and looking back it's the best thing i ever did but it was very scary it's very hard to be at a place and at a stage where financially intellectually and academically and educationally you have i guess arrived and then you say i'm getting off the train because this arrival is stopping me from accomplishing other things that i deem more important right um it's not fully stepping off it is changing the path yeah um maybe it takes a little bit of arrogance to have to be able to say i i'm gonna be okay and i can do this no matter what um but it's also a risk and my grandfather used to say the almighty helps those who help themselves he was a pulpit rabbi for same show for 45 years and his advice was if you want to do something you have to do it you know you have your gifts you have your abilities make your path yeah um great advice and it's very true that way and i think this is sort of part of the distinction that we're sort of driving towards and i think this is what you were saying earlier which is the recognition or at least the searching for one's own talents is not a process of reaching arrogance it's a process of recognizing one's talents and when you have a certain level of respect that it comes from somewhere and you want to dedicate it whether it's to your career or other people that's sort of the path in which allows you to do things to your grandfather's point you got to do it god wants you to do it if god wanted to give us everything he would have us sit on the couch and give us a remote control he creates six days a week for us to work with him and be his partner um and i'm sure and i'd love to hear a little more i'm sure in your story of retraining yourself and having to go into new environments you needed even more confidence maybe than staying where you were in some ways yes and in some ways you know it it you make lifestyle choices i mean i i still have a full-time career i've just chosen to do it in a different environment where i control my own time right and i answer only to my clients as opposed to a whole cadre of people who often have their own arbitrary um goals right and and rules that i don't want to answer to um you know for me i was working at a big wall street firm i was doing very large uh real estate deals i was in the real estate departments of two different firms and i you know wanted more time with my children and i realized that i could close a half a billion dollar deal in any state in the country but i couldn't draft a simple will which made me worthless anywhere but on wall street and that was a very very humbling realization because i was in an environment where the people around me all thought very highly of themselves not necessarily in an arrogant way but they knew that they were achieving certain things and i realized that what they were achieving was the antithesis of what i needed for my life right so i basically cut my salary in half joined a firm in suburbia where the senior partner taught me trust in the states i made a deal where i would do his real estate and corporate work and he would teach me the estate planning and probate and administration world um and it opened up a whole new world for me wow so and the truth is that in many ways what you're speaking about is a very important distinction i think with regards to people's decision making and how when one sees the world in an expansive way and brings out more goals they want to accomplish and has that level of confidence to go make new moves that's i think one of the drivers if you will right towards living your life leading by confidence would you agree with that i would agree and it's a very hard thing to do yeah i think that they're often stuck somewhere yeah i i completely agree and lynn thank you so much for joining us and i think that's such an important way to open this show thank you very much for being on we're honored to have you on and thank you for who you are and trying your light on the world i'm honored that you uh wanted my perspective i didn't you know i didn't think it was anything special but i'm happy that uh that it was useful for you it absolutely was and we thank you for being on and i think it's really important for us to understand this perspective because what we're driving towards in a confidence arrogance distinction really is the ability for a person to consistently grow and to expand one's thinking and to trust themselves to make decisions as they grow up through life and sometimes and i can share lynn's perspective because i had it myself sometimes being in situations that seem on the outside to be winning in the corporate world is really a testament not necessarily to one's confidence but maybe something totally different like arrogance but i think as each and every one of us struggle with decision making we have to be able to realize that we have a lot of power inside us and we can do things that we never thought possible and expand our minds to new decision making i want to do a couple of shabbat shaloms as we get to the next guest we got a great guest coming up right now and i remember watching him on tv where i got the clip the viral clip before we begin let's begin a couple of shabbat shalom shabbat shalom to the goon and bolton family first shabbat shalom of the week we thank you very much for doing that shabbat shalom to rachelle kurzner thank you so much again richard about shalom terrifica tyler who is one of our top kahoot players here to helene and boca raton shabbat shalom to the silver family in highland park shabbat shalom of course thrift commands or shabbat shalom shabbat shalom to lisa black meetings in toronto i remember that entry we had together shabbat shalom to you to lily and montreal quebec miriam david from new jersey shabbat shalom london boston shabbat shalom and of course the novak family in toronto shabbat shalom and thank you very much our next guest um is an incredible guy michael newman wore his yarmulke proudly and won a 25 and won 25 000 when he competed against a pro athlete on cbs's million-dollar milestone i don't know if you've seen this before if you if you haven't seen this clip um you just gotta google it because it's so much fun to watch a guy named john wickers rip it up um on the national stage i was loving every second of that the video of him winning the show as well as an interview about being an orthodox jew went viral and appeared on over 200 media outlets within a week of the show's airing michael is a pro spartan racer and ocr athlete competing in competitions worldwide while wearing his yarmulke he also runs a non-profit called climb for life taking kids with physical challenges through a spartan race he's a psychotherapist with a practice in miami beach and he uses sports and exercise to better apply psychological interventions he also has a popular podcast on age.com called jews and sports where he interviews jewish athletes and gets their opinion on life's biggest questions he's actually set to compete in israel's ninja warrior in season four he's an activist reshaping the response to anti-semitism uh first question michael sleep what's going on over here 28 hours what's the hack i don't understand something what's happening how many things god bless you well we're we're going to talk about it confidence is a heck of a thing you have meeting you know you go full out there's no uh there's no in between you know i'm telling you you're getting me pumped just to like i'm like i got to do more i got i got to step up my game i'm like kidding me over here this is such a good conversation for an athlete forget all the stuff that you do for a second let's focus on the athletics for a second right athletes right it's it's like earlier we had a wonderful woman on who was an attorney you know i'm i'm i'm a recovering attorney i know i know the game i'm saying like there's professions that seems to reward activity that can come across as being arrogant right athletes and thinking it's me and i can do it how does that happen because i'm sure when you're working out or when you're running you need to tap into something that's telling you i can when your body goes i can't so how do you balance between the confident i can versus the arrogant i can yeah we're all we're all confident until uh actual pain starts and you want to vomit halfway through the race and stop and then oh and then your brain starts to fire defense mechanisms and you start to make excuses to say no stop don't continue and so um you look at the connotation from the psychotherapist's standpoint right of the connotation of confidence and arrogance so for example if you're right racing or giving a talk you and i charlie we're giving a talk right we can both be confident and arrogant one can be confident one can be arrogant and then but but you would say that's that doesn't that's so you know that doesn't make sense they are both tools and things that can accomplish something so i can be arrogant running a race and i can be confident while running a race here's the difference from a psychological lens it's the connotation of the words so this is answering your question in a sense that when you when when you're confident there's meaning usually confidence isn't about you confidence usually in my interpretation is something greater there's a mission there's a goal there's an understanding to why you're sacrificing or overcoming the obstacle that's coming at you when you're arrogant it's the same skill to be able to overcome that obstacle but now it's all about me it's all about everything i want it has no mission or meaning so when you are in pain on a race and actually i had this halfway through the wall on the show when i wanted to quit wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait slow it down for a second don't don't run too quickly what happened on the show like the enemies slow down that part so halfway through the wall okay there's a 15-story wall vijay jones is the one of the greatest speed ocr world championship champions ever and we're at the end i'm trying to get my 25 000 and more importantly win for the jewish people with my yarmulka and i looked down and there's vj jones you know two seconds behind me right flying he's flying up that wall this guy eats people like me up for breakfast okay i'm a jew who you know couldn't play on shabbos because it's sports like what it i love it i love it and so the defense mechanism in my brain goes you have no you have no chance you have no shock it just doesn't make sense and i literally said the words it's over it's time to quit put down your hands i had the thought of putting my hands down i was in tremendous pain like i never knew that if you max out your heart rate and then pump your arms full of blood it's a pain that's not really fun to have okay time out time out one second before you continue on this is critical everyone who's watching this i want you to hear this okay because when you watch him on the video which you're all gonna see he looks totally cool up there like nobody could have figured he's not going oh my gosh right when you're watching the video you're thinking the guy's cool is a cucumber he owns this so the fact that you're saying this i want everyone to understand if you're ever feeling nervous scared challenged i can't do it any of those things going on in your head welcome to the club that's called being normal okay back to you michael you're back take us back on the wall no it's a beautiful point to make because and i claim it and i say you're normal that's what confidence is i love that confidence is an ability to say i'm a normal human being it's the human experience uh a great a meditator once said everyone wants enlightenment everyone wants to be great all the time it's not happening in your brain right your brain is firing on a certain level so confidence is to be able to say i am a human being accept it say this is the situation i'm in there is a greater purpose how can we push ourselves to do what we need to get over because it shouldn't be easy and so when i was halfway through that wall that's what happened the arrogance was i can do this when i started the wall oh my gosh i have 11 second lead on the guy you know this we should be able to pull this out and then halfway through the wall when everything went crazy what got me through was to be able to take a deep breath i started talking to hashem and got in the moment where i realized this isn't about me there's a greater mission and purpose and i had that conversation before the race this is mindset setting confidence is a mindset you said that and my rebbe and i discussed we said what happens if the yamako falls off this is a crazy story because i lost a spartan race once because the yamaka fell off i wanted to go back i went to go back for it and he said well michael let's walk through it really quickly he said hey what's the goal what's the reasoning for for for the omaha what you know what's the reason i'm being on the show i said to make it he said great he said what's the reason he said um what does the yamaka mean to you and i said rebbe well there's a study that shows that when a phone is in your pocket you're constantly thinking about the phone so so too the yamako means a connection to me at rebbe so he said more importantly than sending the message to the world because there are tam that you can move on you know and go back for your yamaka after you said more importantly what message not the world what are you sending yourself beautiful and i said oh that's so interesting i basically be saying eh you stay there hashem my yamako you stay over there i'm gonna go do this i'll come back confidence is meaning confidence is realizing there's something greater than yourself you're not here arrogance is about yourself so confidence is what can i do what are the skills and things that i need a mindset kobe bryant doesn't go into mamba when he shoots the the basketball it's years and and practice before that makes them have the instinct of shooting it so that's what happened in that moment on the wall where was the confidence kicked in from the arrogance and said there's a greater purpose let's let's go get it that i think that's a great point i i love what you said and i want to i want to just slow it down because i never want to get it that when you are running as fast as you can to win that race you click from about me i got this i own this it's about me arrogance to there's something greater here i want i want to represent my people i want to represent my god and i'm not giving up not because like i'm pounding my chest i'm not giving it because i believe in something greater than myself many people don't appreciate that when you click into mission mode you're actually doing much more and you're pushing much harder because mission mode brings out so much more of yourself than me mode and so you'll see somebody that may look like he is or she is acting uh with a certain level of let's say confidence and you won't appreciate that what could be going on in his or her head really is they've clicked into mission mode and they're connected in a deep way and so that what's really driving them even greater than arrogance is confidence and i think if people understood that myself included the more things i attach a mission to the more things i more things i take past myself the greater the greater i can become because it is the confidence that brings the best in us not the arrogance because the arrogance is a self-defect is a self-defense mechanism arrogance arrogance says i have control right when in good quality there's way too many variables to have control in the world you're not in control i ran a race blindfolded because i have a foundation we would take kids and one of my athletes was blind and so i put a blindfold on and i you know got to see that when you take away sight you're really not in control and the only person to you know go ahead the guide you have to trust the guide so confidence saying we have to trust other people i don't have all the skills because arrogance is saying no i am in control when in essence you're not it's a self-defense mechanism our brains put together you know it's interesting i think last week or two weeks ago um i don't remember but i think it was last week we did a show maybe it was two weeks ago we did a show on shabbat in business it was a great show we met some incredible people that were willing to risk their business success for their beliefs and at that point they felt that they wanted to take on shabbat and that was their personal decision and they were willing to do that even at risk of financial loss and it was fascinating to hear from the different people each one had the different reasons and connections i want to delve into that with you for one more second which is you said it in passing and it's very big which is you were willing on national television to lose a race that you've trained for for i would assume months if not years to and you're not going to roll into tv next week for the next game right like this you're not playing you're not a professional athlete every week going and playing a game in front of 50 000 people you're you're on national tv and you went in and when you went in you had already already prepared yourself for the potential that your yamaka would fall off right we're not saying you'd have to eat pork right a yamaka is a representation of godliness and it is incredibly critical and there are rabbis that may have said to you well based on jewish law you can keep on going and you would have been okay with it but yet you decided that the yamaka on your head would have been more important to you than winning the race can you give us this for one minute because i know we got a full show left we just i but i don't want to lose this give us in a minute the thinking behind being willing to sacrifice your goals for your faith it's very interesting some people have asked me why why why and it's and it's very telling in a sense that real meaning real understanding of who you are because that's where meaning does come from you have to know who you are judaism is not a religion of robots there has to be identity and purpose understanding of who you are and then it's not even a decision it doesn't even become beautiful don't you understand who you are and that's a part of a greater collective you have mentioned your meaning i i am serving a life of hashem it's not it's not hard i had you know it's not even a question of it's a sacrifice you don't see it that way the same way uh you know when you don't compete on shabbos you know and spartans world championships i qualified wasn't it and this is and this is the point my running coach said to me well smart world championships just go ahead run in it he'll look the other way i said but that's not what a relationship with god is beautiful and you have to do that work this fact this thing that i know all the answers that that charlie you know all the answers we have understandings and concepts to psychologists to be able to you know in my private practice to guide and assist you are the one who has to say i want to be close with hashem i want a life of purpose and then everything doesn't it's not sacrifice anymore you're living your life to the fullest beautiful michael thank you so much for being on it such a great message when you know who you are everything around becomes easier and that is that underlying nugget of confidence and arrogance because the connection you have to more really drives you to mission thank you so much we got to do this again i'm gonna we'll figure that out but ch and by the way if you we don't have it here because nbc whatever we don't have it here because of copyright aifoundation.org you'll see two videos bottom you see my video ji foundation.org will be the race at the bottom jifoundation.org inspirationfoundation.org jifoundation.org i have the video up there of the race with the kids and i have a video of me do of doing the race you'll love it amazing thank you so much for being here thank you for uh sharing your light with the world okay we're back here i love that i love it this is awesome jewish people such great people in our nation a couple shabbat shalom as we get um we're gonna try kahoot and then we'll see if the videos are working we can go back to the videos before we do i want to just expect i want to just dedicate this what we're doing today for the refuse leima of rebits and dr aviva weiss board aviva bas shaynachaya um she's an incredible person she's a family uh she's she's a relative of a close family friend and we've had the opportunity to really pray for her for for a few weeks for now she should have a refuse leima um she is the niece of rabbi noah weinberg who is the founder of and her and her husband and her whole family have been such tremendous pillars of the baltimore community so she should have a real real quick and wonderful for shelima and everyone should only know only good things uh it's now it's time i mean we're getting there hopefully we'll get to the videos later on in the show but before we continue i can't go any further without kahoot so we're going to go to kahoot now and along the way we will uh we'll give some more shabbat shalom so let's do it let's get kahoot going over here and while we get that rolling let's get some more shabbat shalom here it is the kahoot number for this week is four two eight four three four zero four two eight four three four zero let's get everybody rolling kahoot.it uh if it's on your app wherever it is make sure you're you're you're tuning in um shabbat shalom to the novit family shabbat shalom friedman shabbat shalom terrific man so shabbat shalom um oh wait linda leland said she met her one-on-one partner last night via zoom that's phenomenal eliza mervis shabbat shalom from the mervis family in silver spring maryland shabbat shalom terrific tyler shabbat shalom two let's see who we have here thank you send in your shabbat shalom right now to um leslie joseph of orange county new york helen from toronto fager from los angeles shabbat shalom to you mark and michelle mandelman the honorees in the project inspired dinner this year shabbat shalom from montbell new york the sobels from thornhill shabbat shalom joyce from kansas shabbat shalom mike sokolnik from saint louis hope i got that right shabbat shalom to lay apparel new york city shabbat shalom to the rosen family shabbat shalom to sheila from baltimore okay all kahoot we got one more second before we bring kuden give us one more second patriots rock is on all the rags are showing up shabbat shalom to beth from durham north hampshire shabbat shalom to okay let's get rolling here one more uh to kushner of cleveland shabbat shalom to you thank you so much and let's get rolling with kahoot first question here it comes talking about being humble this is the lowest location on earth dubai sonoma valley california the dead sea israel in va i'm sorry if any if i if i pronounce that wrong if anyone's from kazakhstan dubai sonoma valley the dead sea and that place in kazakhstan hillary block from norfolk virginia shabbat shalom the wasserman family shabbat shalom sarah srag from silver spring maryland shabbat shalom and the answer is the dead sea people knew this very good the dead sea can you imagine israel's got the lowest place on earth how about that awesome okay let's go to the next question let's see how we did patriots rock welcome to the leaderboard winner ghana who killed it last week adlers yuri shai and the novak family okay let's go to the next question now how do you tell how do you say self-confidence in hebrew self-confidence how do you say self-confidence in hebrew see how we do this self-confidence in hebrew here we go nine seconds left six seconds five seconds self-confidence in hebrew not smee excellent lots of people are getting this correct i'm loving the excellence here let's see how we do adlers are climbing up khanna stays at number two yuri shy is there hillary's moving up in the rivers family let's go to the third question what country started the shabbat project if you were paying attention you know south korea south africa south america or the united states of america where did the shabbos project originate for those who are joining us now next week is the shabbat project it is a time where we keep shabbat with or in any which way with thousands of people around the world we're going to be having a three hour special next shabbat night let's see where it started from south africa chief rabbi warren goldstein south africa i was there actually in south africa you can't imagine the level of inspiration that's taking place down there okay let's go to the next and final question if you want more shabbat shalom please feel free the adlers are on the top the mirvis family on fire over here moving up hillary patriots rock back on the board pmg let's see how this thing closes out final lap last question who said arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand winston churchill nietzsche menachem begin or metallica who said arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand churchill nietzsche bacon or metallica here goes metallica whoa whoa whoa metallica very little a lot of churchill i know it was like a pump fake to put in like the the politician when nobody thought it was the rock band that's how we roll over here we're always throwing curveballs let's see how we ended let's see how we ended this may have messed up the leaderboard let's see and the final the third place is the adlers good job adlers number two go providence and the number one winner of this week's show is saint louis rocks saint louis rocks providence st louis the adlers hillary and the mervis family congratulations please check out the prizes go to project inspire dot com to get your prizes and thank you so much for playing with us and now it is time for the one and only jamie geller thank you charlie so so much hello everybody it is so so good to be back always okay so talking about confidence this is a intricate looking recipe it's become very popular in the shock here in yerushalayim in jerusalem it actually originates in hungary but we're going to show you how to make this like new shook craze and trend in a very easy way with a little bit of a hack with equipment that you have at home and even though you might lack some baking confidence i think that you could easily make this special treat after watching the video so before i say shabbat shalom i always like to say hi to my parents who are always watching sending you guys lots of love and make sure to ask your questions i'm here every week to answer them shabbat shalom everyone [Music] jamie's a magician jamie's a magician now she does that i mean she makes look awesome check out her stuff um jamie geller.com facebook instagram pinterest that's phenomenal uh youtube twitter tic tac you ever wonder how things are made you ever as i'm reading i'm going wait that just doesn't come out of nowhere someone has to actually think how to do that um j at jamie geller at jewelish by jamie and of course if her mom is watching hi mom and continue shopping nachos from jamie thank you jimmy for all your partnerships she's going to be rocking it next week for those that are going to be joining us on the shabbat show on the shabbat project just to give you a little bit more about what the shabbat project is it's so powerful check out this video just explaining how to drop over the years jews around the world have drifted away from their heritage and from each other we even define ourselves by what divides us so we ask what could bring us back together shabbat is a day when we stop all creative activity from sundown to stars out it's one day in the week to disconnect from our busy lives and reconnect with one another warren goldstein chief rabbi of south africa asked what if we could get an entire community to keep one complete shabbat together we started at home in south africa the community took on the challenge to experience one shabbat in full most for the very first time which brought us together like never before what a dream to be here soon jews around the world wanted in on it and so the shabbat project was born one shabbat kept together all over the world a social movement sprung up overnight thousands of volunteers worked around the clock awareness spread and we helped people organize their own shabbat project experience there was a mass movement it was a people's experience this was the jewish spring where the whole campaign went viral and that people owned it it took on a life of its own communities prepared for the annual event and we guided them with the ins and outs of keeping shabbat communal hula bakes rolled out across the world bringing jews together to prepare traditional shabbat bread and abdallah concerts were set up to mark the end of shabbat the response has been amazing people heard about it they came in their droves there was a very special spirit around something i hadn't felt in a long time today the shabbat project is driven by thousands of volunteers in hundreds of countries and thousands of cities in 10 languages we entered the guinness book of world records with the final measurements 20 feet our biggest ever khala bay united 8 000 women in buenos aires we shut down five city blocks on pico boulevard for a shabbat dinner our abdullah concert became the biggest stand-alone jewish event in melbourne's history the project has clocked up millions of online media impressions we captured the world's imagination the shabbat project keeping it together all right imagine four thousand women connected to religion and baking one service and we keep on growing our social movement has grown into a global social phenomenon divided communities have been reunited and jewish pride has been restored there's a world before the sharpest project and after the shabbos project and it's not the same world most importantly an estimated 1 million jews around the world came together to reconnect through the magic of shabbat and this year we're doing it again join in by keeping this shabbat with jews all over the world we would also love you to partner with us to get your entire community keeping it together how's that for awesome how's that for awesome a million jews around the world next week check it out join us join the party that's taking place across the globe to keep shabbat that's the beauty of our people our next guest incredible guy alum of my high school mr etan mervis is the president of rockwell management corp rockwell owns and manages commercial and resident residential properties in the greater houston area etan and his wife valerie grew up in the east coast they relocated to houston in 95 where they raised their children for the next 17 years then they moved to teaneck new jersey while he continues to commute back to houston they're actively involved in both the new york and houston communities eitan thank you so much for joining us on the show you're still on mute perfect i've got you now there you go so thank you so much for joining us on the show now i understand that busy life running around large business and you've recently had a very scary episode in your battle with kovid and that ultimately really pushed you to the brink and it was a very scary experience sure share this a little bit about what happened during kovid and and some of the insights that you glean from that sure so uh in march i was in the first wave of victims of the virus [Music] living in t-neck i went to englewood hospital it was a friday morning my wife dropped me off at the emergency room and um i i didn't really think that i was gonna be there for that long really had no idea what to expect but soon thereafter uh my breathing became more difficult and they admitted me into the hospital and over the next 24 hours things started to get really really bad and saturday night i had tremendous difficult breathing and back then they wouldn't let anyone in the hospital i reached out to my family and i was very scared things were getting worse very quickly i was hooked up to one of those nasal cannula oxygen machines and my oxygen level was at 80 percent my fever was at 103 and um by sunday morning already my doctor another yeshiva flatbush alum uh dr joey schatzkis who i had never even met and who happens to also live in teaneck um told me um i my lungs are filled with covered pneumonia we need to put you on a ventilator um and the nurse was telling me that they were just waiting for a bed for me to be transferred to the respiratory ward and i was sitting there with sunday at about noon and i'm in bed and all of a sudden something miraculous occurred i took i took my first deep breath in days and then i took another and then a few minutes later i sat up for the first time since i was admitted into the hospital and then i broke out into a drenching sweat and then my fever was completely gone i immediately called dr schatzkis and i told him what happened and at the end of the conversation he thanked me he said i made his day because at that time i was the only patient he had in the hospital that actually had a turn for the better i called my wife and i tearfully shared with her this incredible news and i told her that it was nothing short of a miracle but little did i know how miraculous it really was that night when i was lying in my bed i i found out what as paul harvey said now you know the rest of the story unbeknownst to me on saturday night while i was struggling to breathe my 18 year old son created a whatsapp group to say to hillam for me he reached out to family friends and he's captain of his basketball team so he reached out to all of his teammates and before they knew it 250 people were were on that whatsapp group and it filled up and another whatsapp group was started and another and another and another by by noon on sunday over 1 000 people were on those five whatsapp groups saying to hillam for me around the clock wow and that was the exact moment where i took my first deep breath and i really believe that it was from hashem i'm completely convinced of it seven months later since that occurred all five of those chats continued to be active with 700 members saying to hillam still 24 hours a day six days a week four scorers of helium you know i worked my entire life to raise a beautiful family build a successful business be a torah observant jew be charitable and make a positive contribution to call you sorel but i i never took my amaze but i but i i know and i never took my amazing life for granted i never imagined that in a matter of days everything that i had everything that was meaningful could be taken away so quickly perhaps in a way i was close to being arrogant having not prepared myself for the ones i loved for the unthinkable when i got home i made vows to even further improve my mind my body and my soul to make every moment count and i wish i could tell you that those vowels have been fulfilled it's still a work in progress but when people ask me how am i feeling and do i have any residual impact from covid i say most definitely yes i'm 110 better a few weeks after i came home from the hospital a rebbe of my 18 year old son told me that while i was in the hospital many of his students were saying to hillary a few days after i recovered one of the students told him rabbi i never realized prayer actually works wow the rabbi said to me that student's life was changed forever and my life was changed forever i never imagined on the verge of being put on a ventilator that lives would be positively impact by my experience i am incredible i'm incredibly thankful for the opportunity to double down on my confidence that hashem has a plan for each of us and not take for granted every opportunity to personally grow and grow even closer to hashem wow what an incredible incredible story um and and and we thank you i think it's it's it's so powerful and i just want to ask you one more question though we're getting to the end of the show i wonder what it must have felt like when you build you spend your time building like you said you're building a business you're running around and at the end of the day what you really want more than anything in the world is take a breath what is that that transition and i like if you can take us into your head when you went was that a moment where you said i will never be the same was that a moment where you what what what goes through one's mind at the moment where you can sense there's a turn clearly it was euphoric and and i had that discussion with multiple people saying something like this should never happen to you i mean but it changed my life forever and we i don't think that there's anyone that doesn't want their lives changed positively forever is that not what we strive for in life and and i happen to have had it um and i do the best i can to make it uh my own life different and to continue to be a positive influence on other people to share that experience and tell them don't wait until you can't imagine what life is going to be like for the ones that you loved and never having had the opportunity to express yourself and share it with them amazing well thank you so much for joining us on the show what an incredible story and an incredible lesson from that story and um we appreciate it and continue shining your light on this world thank you wow what an incredible perspective that and is so important for us to understand and i think what's special about what we just heard is what ethan was saying at the end as well which is don't wait don't wait why should we wait for a moment that pushes us before we can introspect and gain that confidence that perspective that understanding of the meaning and purpose of life so really very powerful and thank god he's okay and he should continue to be okay until 120 years as they say the next uh video we have which is another individual who went through a certain level of soros as they say hardship we learn from everybody and this individual really has done something very interesting for the world there's an interesting interview that we want to show you from somebody who you may have heard of before and his perspective on overcoming challenge and what that does to his humility check this out how does a man spend 27 years in prison put there by an oppressor and come out of that experience with not a heart of stone not a cold heart but a heart that is willing to forgive and embrace how is there no bitterness well i hated oppression and when i think about the past the type of things they did i feel angry you have a limited time to stay on earth you must try and use that period for the purpose of transforming your country into what you desire it to be and therefore you had to reject all negative features in your own soul in your blood system and focus your attention on the positive things i wanted to be known as mandela a man with weaknesses especially because i knew it was not that the contribution of an individual which would bring about liberation and the transfer peaceful transformation of the country and my first task when i came out was that to destroy that myth that uh i was something other than an ordinary human being i had said that you're one of the most humble the most humble person i've ever met i will tell you that when mr mandela arrived today he uh said that the producer met with him in the room and he said what is the subject of today's show [Laughter] and she said nelson mandela you are the subject of today's show oh all right you are not even not not modest but uh a very humble man i wanted to ask because i think that is the the characteristic that stands out for you above all of them that you are a peacemaker inside yourself and how do we begin those of us who aren't leading countries but are just leading our own lives leading our families come to a sense of truth and reconciliation with ourselves to be a peacemaker how do you do that the first thing is to be honest with yourself you can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself and one of the most important weapons in changing yourself is to recognize that peace i mean people everywhere in the world want peace but humility is one of the most important qualities which you must have because if you are humble if you make people realize that you are no threat to them then people will embrace you [Music] i think that's the point and i think that's how we should close before we do which one remember the one-on-ones if you want that remember next we've got a great show coming up um three hour special don't don't miss it the shabbat project check it out be part of this incredible movement to celebrate shabbat with thousands of jews around the country i think that's the point confidence arrogance it comes down to who's the most important person what's it all about me or there's something bigger than me you can take all the talents that god gave you take all the health you can take the ability to work at a high powered career or be an athlete you can take everything that we have in this world and if we take it and use it for myself even if we look like we're being uh humble we're really being arrogant but you can take your talents and your opportunities and your weaknesses and your strengths and tie it into a greater mission to help people to honor god to to contribute to bring value when we attach something greater to ourselves and when we recognize that the strengths that we have are given to us on loan one of the most powerful moments to me in the show was seeing a healthy individual say he landed in an emergency room and within 30 hours couldn't breathe and was ready and didn't know yeah it's from god unleash life is a gift on lease we don't have to go through it to appreciate it but when we take that perspective we take a deep breath we realize that i have something to give to this world when we do that like michael said we actually push further we do more it's the confidence that god is with me that i'm going to do the most that i can to make a difference in this world it's not about me it's about what i can do for others that's the secret to moses the most humble man in the world and look how much he accomplished that's secret to our lives there's so much more we can do in this world if we realize that we are endowed with a piece of the creator god has the confidence in us he made us his partner in this world he's inside us he confuses us so much power every day and says go change the world just don't think it's about you along the way if you just remember me and do it for others there is nothing we can't do and so on behalf of me and mine to you and yours i wish you shabbat shalom may this be a shabbat of peace and understanding humility confidence may our dreams get big may we realize how much we can do if we tap into the source of all power and we focus our minds on giving not taking and being able to contribute may we put god in the center and just watch what we can become so i wish you from the bottom of my heart a great weekend a good shabbos shabbat shalom next week i hope and pray we get to the shabbat show in jerusalem if not we're going to be at a special studio i hope you tune in going to be live at 8 with the women's power hour and i'll hopefully see you with god's help at nine o'clock for a two-hour show and until then have an incredible week with god's help can't wait to see you again next week shabbat shalom [Music] bring me back to you back into your loving [Music] in ours are you listening i don't know where i am i don't know where i've been all i know is that i'm standing here begging you bring me back bring me back into your loving nose so take me back take i can't do it alone [Music] bring me back to you back into your loving arms bring me back to you back into your love [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] higher [Music] you