The Shabbat Show - Episode 19: The Healthy Mind - Less Stress, More Focus

[Music] hello everybody and welcome to another edition of the shabbat show so great to be back with you again it's amazing just how quickly these weeks just seemed to go by just yesterday we were starting the show for the first time and now it feels like i am blessed to be able to have my 5 30 to spend it with you and i hope that wherever you're wherever you're dialing in from wherever you're tuning in from it's an honor that we're doing it together for those who are here for the first time welcome and for those that have been coming back thanks for coming back we've got a great great show for you coming up you know a lot of questions you know last week we spoke about this concept of shabbat and a healthy body and every week we come up with a new concept there's a new theme and it all seems to circulate around shabbat because shabbat is the if you will almost like the micro blueprint of the world we have this concept that we say in the chat we say it is the last in action but it is the first in thought meaning it was almost built the world is almost built to come out of shabbat now if god wanted to make us have shabbat we'd have shabbat so what does that mean why would god build it last if he wanted to do it like what was stopping him like he had to get like government approval like what was he doing that god couldn't just do what he wanted and the answer that i heard once is that god didn't want shabbat every day for us right now that maybe there'll be a time like that he wanted shabbat consciousness throughout everything we're doing it's not the actual day that he wanted because if it was we'd have seven days of shabbat he wanted us to have a certain perspective a certain consciousness the whole world if you will is in mind and in thought connected to shabbat that's why actually during every prayer every day of prayer there's a section of prayer in which we say the special psalm of the day and every one of the days that we say we open with this is day sunday or monday of shabbat because god is always dropping reminders that shabbat is coming that you're in some level of shabbat consciousness one of the most critical manifestations of that and you hear this again and again and again from people that come on is this sort of approach to what it does to your mind what it does to your stress what it does to the the usual shackles if you will the mental challenges that we go through which is normal and usual and typical and expected in every in living a life that we live we're we're we're tasked with doing big things we were created in an imperfect world on purpose not every kid most kids in fact probably nearly all kids aren't born listening they're not supposed to pay attention when they're little if god wanted to make kids pay attention he would have us give birth the way animals give birth to the kids come out they would like you know brush themselves off they start walking and they'll be like you know hasta luego see in a little bit they come out and like they need us for so many years and it's complicated if god wanted it to be easy in marriage he would have made men and women exactly alike that's so different why we make people alike you know it's interesting i was learning the other day about this concept that says you know you're supposed to this and not that and this and not that and then afterwards the author of this book says but do whatever your custom is i'm like what are you kidding me that means i can go to school have 10 different people do 10 different things doesn't that lead to division yet god created a very complex world god created people with different opinions and different thoughts and different desires because he wants us to navigate through complexity he wants us to build a tapestry that is not just one color the jewish people aren't one color we had this so you remember we had a show a few weeks back on this specific topic because this is exactly we're not meant to be one color one way we're not meant to be from one country we're from ultimate we didn't even come from israel israel is our homeland we didn't come from israel abraham didn't come from israel the jewish people weren't born in israel the complexities of life the complexities of being a jew the complexities of the different nuances of this world that is exactly our job to find a way to weave everything in in the way that it makes sense that's stressful it's complicated that's what we do six days a week we engage in a world where it's hard to make a living and hard to raise our children and hard to to navigate regular society and shabbat comes in many ways shabbat supposed to give us perspective it's supposed to allow us to throw our challenges up to god allow us to breathe differently and act differently and be differently it's supposed to shift our stress and so very much in connection with shabbat consciousness is engaging in a conversation about stress and focus how do we overcome it how do we grapple with it in a way in which no matter what we're doing we can get better at it because if we're gonna be overwhelmed by that it's gonna hold us back from being the people we're meant to be shabbat really is for us it allows us to be the people we're meant to be and we've got an incredible show i want to check out this video we found try to find something to throw to set the mood we found this video about just how much stress can destroy someone's mentality it's a video we found our incredible producers at the project inspired team found this video i think it was a russian commercial to stop smoking but it's a little bit of a glimpse of what stress can do to people check this [Music] out [Music] it's amazing that sometimes you feel that way sometimes inside that's what could be going on for us and that feeling and how do we overcome that how do we become positive and empowered people we're going to talk about it and we got a great show we've got great great great guests today we got dr david pelkowitz is with us right now he's going to be speaking this soon um we've got a great great guest in sara ghana radcliff is with us right now she will be here speaking as well we've got jackie glacier who's here as well jackie glazer is unbelievable she'll be talking about a little later we got jamie geller coming up we got uh videos we've got a full show really trying to address this topic and give you what to think about before we do that i want to do a couple of things first of all i want to give a couple shabbat shaloms get this started nice and early thanks so much for those of tuning in you can always send shabbat shalom in if you're with us on zoom otherwise go to my facebook page um and i'll see you there as well to roger and erica matloff the southampton kosher kitchen shabbat shalom to you uh helene from boca shabbat shalom yaakov shalom and usual mayor and passaic the novak family in toronto shabbat shalom uh rochelle and michael kurzner shabbat shalom the propels in miami shabbat shalom and of course jamie geller's mom shabbat shalom to you and to poppy in balakinwood shabbat shalom to bonnie artelli shabbat shalom to leia silver in the citizen highland park okay we're going to do some more shabbat shaloms later before we do that i want to get a couple of things out of the way first not out of the way i want to focus on a couple of things of course before we get to our guests number one project inspire kills it all week it's not just on now it's all the time they got a great new program coming up this week it's called mind flex every year they have this every week they have this great program very interesting dr hal ganz is speaking about the cosmic puzzles he is one of the smartest who i've ever heard speak ever you gotta you want to hear him speak incredible we also have the one-on-one program if you haven't been doing that yet really important to sign up you can text one on one ninety seven thousand one on one to ninety seven thousand and if here it is there it is learn what you want when you want text 101 to 97 000 and if you haven't um yet done this please check out the show on the shabbat show.com you can get old shows you can get longer videos and remember if you if you know people that want to be watching this and don't know about it just text them like we're talking about stress and focus if you know somebody who is stressed or needs focus just pull out your phone send them the link go to shabbat show.com now and they'll be able to enjoy the show and it'll be better for us to share the wisdom with more and more people and especially people that you know and love okay let's begin our first guest is someone who i respect in in in in a way that i can barely i can barely describe how much i respect this our first guest i'm so excited to know that he's on you guys are in for a huge treat his name is dr david pelkovitz dr pelqvist holds the gwendolyn and joseph strauss chair in psychology and education in yeshiva university's israeli graduate school where he also teaches pastoral psychology courses he also serves as a special assistant to the president of ish university before assuming his position on the faculty of yushi university dr pelkowitz was a clinical professor of psychology and psychiatry at new york university school of medicine and the director of psychology at north shore university hospital nyu school of medicine dr palkovich has published and lectured extensively on a variety of topics related to the psychological impact of trauma and loss child and adolescent behavior problems parenting and the impact of divorce and stress on children it is a great honor for me i have been able to know and follow and be connected to dr peloqvitz for many years of my life and i can tell you all he is one of the wisest and kindest man men that i know so dr pelkovitz thank you so much for joining us on the show thank you it's such a pleasure to listen to you and to learn from you thank you so doctor pelicans you know we're talking about stress right if we this would be a regular year where we're talking about elections and the economy going through a little whirlwind and back to school and camps it would be stressful now we're living at a time where you don't know if the guy next to you is carrying a virus not carrying buyers masks not mass do i go to the wedding don't go to the wedding can i fly can i fly this florida okay now can i go to find israel we we're living in a time that feels like it's like a stress world and i kind of also feel that people are sick of it like we almost want to go back to not being stressful so can you give us likes a perspective like help us navigate the feelings that we have the world that we're in so that maybe going forward we can we have a little more tools in our in our in our tool chest to figure out how to stop living this way and start living less with a little less stress so number one is to um to accept it to not fight it to give ourselves permission to be human the more we fight and the more we resist it or the more we pathologize it probably paradoxically worse it gets instead let it wash over us and to say okay i'm feeling stressed now it just means my body is doing its job by going to fight or flight i'd be worried if we're not stressed at all and to name it and just by naming it and recognizing it and giving ourselves the okay to do it it automatically puts us into a place where where it could um it comes under greater control so so how does i mean when when someone feels stress and they're in this position of where they're feeling it come over them there's a sense of like lack of control and what's going to be and is this right and what's wrong with me what happens if through the acceptance process those either they they linger or everywhere you go it gets retriggered okay and some people are going to be more prone to have it re-triggered there are people about one out of six people in the population who are wired in a way that they're more anxious or you might have people who are going through a particularly tough time financially or in terms of physical challenges or family challenges um they're gonna they're gonna have a harder time and they're gonna be more likely to be to be uh re-triggered and again the key there is to just take a step back nothing like a normal breath in slow breath that we're gonna hear that um from from mrs radcliffe very shortly um but the key is to just um allow it in if you're going to allow all of the emotions that we feel in in a non-judgmental way and somehow figure out a way to let it in it's also going to allow in um not only the negative emotions but positive emotions i have a great quote from golden mayor who said that along the lines of having to um allow all emotions flow through one pipeline by block one i'm not allowing joy in love room so she said those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either that's the bottom line yeah that's an incredible concept and i think i'm happy that you're saying it because i i don't think if it came out of people without your background that people would believe it right i think you see someone who's stressful and someone says accept it unless most people will will think that it's just a way of of keeping them at bay but i wonder if really what you're saying to us is to recognize that we're stronger than we think and if we allow the stress to be unjudged there's nothing wrong with me there's nothing wrong with me as a human being because i'm feeling stressed i'm not more incapable because of it because that's what happens a lot of the judgment comes in and i'm not enough if you just allow it to be and recognize that you're you're stronger than you think that lack of judgment will actually not only allow the stress to pass over what i'm hearing you say is it will also make your other feelings of positivity richer because you're not constantly restraining and restricting feelings exactly exactly yeah you know the bottom line is that um we have to be kind to ourselves we have to be kind to ourselves especially at a time like this and maybe even to realize that one of the best ways to bring order to chaos is with that with that kindness i loved what you said before about the course shabbat because i was thinking about some of the recent research on the default network of the brain that when we shut our brain off for a little while or certainly for a 25 hour period one of the things that happens is the default network is triggered which is what happens to our brain when we're not thinking and automatically when that happens um our creativity goes all the way up and some of the best ideas we could possibly have paradoxically happen when we shut down so sometimes it's being able to pull back and relax and should be acceptance and the kindness is really the way to get out of some of your problems it's the stress that's holding us back from it what do you what what what do you feel about this concept of faith what i mentioned earlier about this recognition of of what shabbat really stands for which is this idea that there's a there's a higher purpose a higher power we're not in control how does that play into this whole concept of stress yeah well um there's some fascinating research about meaning making there's a lot of what faith is all about it shows that when people who are very anxious respond to that er that anxiety with faith and sort of belief in a wider power or greater meaning the anxiety centers of their brain start to calm down it literally calms us down i have some power points that i guess i won't show now but if i had that in front in front of me i'd be able to show you literally what happens to people of faith when they focus on that aspect of their connection to god or connections meaning or connection to purpose literally their anxiety levels go all the way down which to me i find amazing it's amazing it's almost as if like god gave us the mechanism to deal with the world before he made us go out and deal with the world right exactly exactly built in the cure before the illness right well doctor thanks so much for joining us on the show today and for all that you do for our people and we have to follow up because this is an issue that i think is so critical for all of us and i think the more people hear especially from your mouth that they're normal this is part of the process and to be more kind to themselves i think the more they'll be able to actually feel the richness of the other parts as well and be able to really live a more more fuller life thank you i'm honored honor to vaness thank you thank you doctor and that was dr david pelkovitz really uh an individual at the forefront of all of this uh someone who i'm honored to to know and and and i think his message is so right which is the kindness to self to be able for us to accept these feelings without judging them without judging who we are without judging that we're not enough we found this incredible video this music video that we we know you're going to love by any man named hebro and it's with two great singers check it out really speaking to this concept of recognizing that we're not perfect but it's all good [Music] hey i'm far from perfect slowly trying to change my ways it's hard but worth it yeah i can see the me i'm hoping to be i'm far from perfect slowly trying to change my ways it's hard but worth it yeah i can see the me i'm hoping to be i keep falling again and again i'm beginning to start to wonder if i'm in it to win my decision to be a man is my mission to stand but every time i slip it seem to be the proof that i can't try to walk with my head held how can i make it in this world where the quick is legit but the only way to get it is slow and humble a bit it's okay not to be right it's okay to be imperfect but if i'm looking forward you ready to search it it's worth it work is the purpose grabbing a hold of the truth that we know but what if i don't cause letting it go is inflating i'm far from perfect slowly trying to change my ways it's hard but worth it yeah i can see the me i'm all gonna be [Music] unsure what i'm looking for as i try to get by close my eyes all i know is i won't if i don't try this out of sight inside of mine and i ain't trying to find a way to take me to the top of this mountain i gotta climb i beg and plead with god show me the signs every soul got a place to go i'm trying to make it in time i pray with this rhyme i've seen too many fall but aside it's too many looking for a reason for staying alive when the stress presents grab a pen express and confess there's something light about the mic it's like a weight off my chest if i don't make it it ain't wasted i gave it my best yeah i fall but getting up i gave my all [Music] i'm far from perfect [Music] me oh god and that's a wrap boys all right thank you see you very much that was the famous sea lands uh for those who are familiar with old school jewish music he's a legend pinish actor in hebrew uh really the the words are so critical i think um i'm far for perfect i think the recognition that we're far from perfect is one of the most important things that we need to understand for ourselves the only thing perfect in this world is god and then me and you are just far from perfect and the recognition like dr pelkewood said is so critical for us to understand that the feelings that we have um are really to be kind to ourselves let them in i love the goal to meet your concept i love it if you if you cry with all your heart you get to laugh with all your heart this concept like that of being able to not be hard on ourselves too much especially when it comes to this period of time a couple more shabbat shaloms um linda schwartz from annandale virginia shabbat shalom to you helene and debbie from toronto shabbat shalom to you should watch them to the simons of phoenix rm thank you for your kind word shabbat shalom uh jackie shabbat shalom to you rift command sir shabbat shalom to you to deal ashby uh arya azari shabbat shalom to you eshel and mark cohen from mountain view california don't you love the jewish people we're all in different parts of the world we're all together we'll be together soon in israel i am positive and we're all going to have this show live one day i'm telling you i know it's happening top roof of asia torah building just mark your calendars we're going tamar and allah and alone turkish of shabbat shalom to you leia apparel from new york city um lori hey fitz shabbat shalom to you i hope i got that right suzanne bernhard shabbat shalom to you okay let's get let's get rolling a little bit more um we have a next guest is um an incredible person she's a psychologist sarah hannah radcliffe was psychologist in toronto canada and the author of raise your kids without raising your voice now that's phenomenal better behavior now and numerous other books on family life and emotional well-being she's a weekly columnist from magazine and holds a weekly and hosts a weekly family circle live webinar for jewishworkshops.com she is the creator of daily parenting posts a free email list supporting healthy family relationships and you can also find her on instagram and facebook sarah hannah welcome to the show hi there welcome to the show thanks so much for joining us thank you so we're talking a lot about stress and focus and you know we heard from dr pelkovitz about um about stress and we're doing introducing stress but you know to take it down to the next step which is focus how do we do that how do we get an ever-changing world right we got a stressful very complex world where things don't stop we don't leave work i once when i first got to work they told me in the old days when you left work you left work those days are far from over we're always connected all the things going on how do we increase our focus to do the things that are the most important all right this requires a little bit of knowledge of how the brain works so i'm i want to explain it because our stress comes from what we think and feel about things every thought we think actually has a chemical package to it so if we start thinking things like wow what's going to happen with the second wave you know will people die how are my kids going to do in school with that mask on all day how am i going to manage with all those carpools and school is open this hour and close this hour and all of these things we think these things we release tremendous stress chemistry through our body and on the other hand if we think more pleasant thoughts like oh wow you know i just love my coffee it's what a gift from god you know and we just think about the things we love and the things we enjoy the blessings we have those thoughts produce different chemical packages so that they're soothing um energizing and they make us happy now people think well i can't help what i think okay like i'm in a stressful world so i have to think about all the stresses around me and this is where they are wrong because the brain kind of works i use something i call the amazon.com model of the brain and it works like this um you know thoughts don't come into our mind from outer space it's not like you know i i was just you know setting the table or brushing my teeth and all these thoughts came to me where did they come from and they can't become from you because just like an amazon bot your brain follows you around to see what you're interested in and what you've been focusing on lately i mean there's an infinity of thoughts to think and the world is kind of half amazing beautiful good feeling and half scary as anything and we need to decide where we're going to focus our attention what we're putting our attention on so when our brain notices we like to think about um you know disastrous scenarios or whatever it's like you just purchased something or put it in your shopping cart on amazon when you go to amazon and they they have um they say hi sarah we have some suggestions for you and they'll list like a bunch of books um exactly the kind of books i'm looking for when i go to shop like how did they know what i was interested in to the tea and actually they don't know they're just following me around and they see that i clicked on cooking books a specific kind of cooking book a specific kind of psychology book and as long as i keep clicking on that those will be the suggestions so the brain works the same way it says oh you're just washing dishes that doesn't take your full brain power let me suggest what you could think about right now i notice you like to worry about what's going to happen with your kids can i suggest that to you and if we click on that go yes and we start pulling it out there what's going to be how are the kids going to cope in school i don't know what's going to be and you play with it then it will be suggested to you again when you wash dishes or when you're walking down the street and in this way we are either building um an anxious stressed and scared brain or we're building choosing some other thoughts we go like no thanks why would i want to think about that right now like if i have to do some problem solving i'll meet myself at nine o'clock tonight my appointment and i'll i'll figure out what i need to do about the carpool or about the kids or whatever problems i have i'll do it by appointment okay but the rest of the day while i'm washing dishes and walking down the street and you know setting tables and stuff like i don't want to be filled with that stuff so no i will be thinking instead about something funny something joyous something beautiful and when you lead your brain that way next time it goes hi sarah i notice you like to think about your blessings would you like to think about that now and go like well as a matter of fact i would and then this great chemistry you know fills my body and and that's how it works you build your brain i i i love what you said i love it and i'll tell you why i love it so much there's so many reasons but i want to give you one i love the fact that you just said to people and they're not going to believe you and that's why i want to make sure we highlight this you are not your thoughts meaning you just because you thought it it doesn't mean that it's it you need to dwell on it it's almost as if thoughts are like a ticker and you're saying nope xx people that get stressed what happens is they think i have no choice but to think about this thought it came into my head i'm not an actor i'm passive and what you're saying which is so critical and i hope everybody in the show hears this and tells everyone about it is you are above your thoughts you could choose to you can choose to x out if you will some of these thoughts and that's not there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with having a thought that you don't want to have like there's nothing wrong with people get this all the time they go well how did that all come in it must be true there's nothing wrong with a bad thought coming in that doesn't mean there's anything wrong there's nothing wrong with you getting rid of it it doesn't become you until you let it well the interesting thing is that you are actually why it came in to begin with okay because you clicked on it before so um this gives us a lot of control and we realize like you said we are not our thoughts we are um we're building our own instrument here so we have that choice and um it's just like i said this an infinity of things we can think we don't need to put our attention on the true but um you know unfortunate sides of life unless we want to or unless we need to for our work or we need to because we need to solve a problem and then we can do it like i said by appointment not all day in the back of our mind carrying a million negative and uh stressful kinds of uh forms of attention they're not better than the other kinds in fact we're asked god wants us to be happy that means we're going to have to choose the happy side to concentrate on and once we do our brain will generate it by itself for us it almost feels like you know dr peltwood's earlier spoke about this idea of acceptance it almost feels like it very much dovetails what you're saying which is the answer is not to get in the scuffle with their bad thoughts and to start resisting it like you would think like oh my god why am i thinking this for and now you're in the fight right right the answer is almost like a much more like i would say almost like a classier way of dealing with it like you see someone coming around it's like you have a certain confidence that i'm accepting it coming in and i can now choose what to do with it and i love your suggestion and i hope that people understand this you're talking about what corporate lawyers do every day it's called deferring taxes like we you build tax plans to defer taxes you you you constantly are deferring things so that you're in a better position to deal with them at the time that it's best for you so what you're saying is yeah you got to worry about your kids great worry about your kids but here's a way tell your brain how about this i'm doing the dishes let me have some couple of happy thoughts i'll meet you at nine we'll talk about it then exactly that is great because that's a real strategy people can use and say okay but this is really it's with my kids i gotta i gotta think about it think about it which is awesome really great well thank you for your thoughts thank you for your wisdom and i really hope that you know between you and dr peliquez i hope people are taking notes i am and they're you can really apply this because when you see the thoughts now as outside you like the amazon.com bot it's a great image that we can now take and as the thoughts come in even if you have to distract yourself distract yourself just don't allow it to take over just because it comes in awesome thank you so much and uh and i hope people follow you on check please follow mrs radcliffe on instagram on facebook find out more that she's saying i'm sure that it is so much more there thank you for joining us shabbat thank you for having me good job oh that was great that was really great okay a couple more shabbat shaloms and we're going to go to kahoot um we shall battle them to the patulski's in waterloo to the birnhams in birmingham to jen in georgia shabbat shalom to you um shabbat shalom to um rhonda in toronto shabbat shalom to recent and brian wolfe from oak park on my facebook shabbat shalom to um dorit black michael weingard shabbat shalom deborah cohen cinda cindy eckert dory dorian houseman shmuel shiowitz and of course my family here josh brody to shabbat shalom to my family in faraway okay it is time for kahoot turn on your um your computers everything that's going on 390 487 turn that on we're going to get ready for kahoot 390487 here they come i see patriots rock is already ready to play the burkhaus from toronto shabbat shalom to you rivka tyler patriots rock is ready shabbat shalom shabbat shalom to the blooms from brooklyn now we've got some more invites coming in from debbie for rooftop hosting in jerusalem so everybody keep your plane tickets getting ready we already have hosts lining up to invite all of us to jerusalem we're gonna have i'm telling you now i'm telling you now we're all of us birmingham waterloo georgia texas and brooklyn wherever you are i'm putting it on the calendar now we're all going to have shabbat in jerusalem together telling you just get ready for it so when i when i when i throw down the date you're going to go oh he said he said it we're going to go david and ahmad shabbat shalom to you going to wait for just a couple more seconds for kahu to finish up here give people one or two more minutes to join um elise and eric hirsch shabbat shalom to you they're on the way home from binghamton okay let's get going on the kahoot game let's roll first question here goes competition begins how do you stay stressed in hebrew you kind of know we're going with these questions notice my israeli accent in me reading this shabbat shalom to esther diamond elisa mervis and the whole mirvis family shabbat shalom to you karen goldstein from st louis shabbat shalom to you here goes good good good good let's see how we did adler j goldie's ad adlers are dominating today rochet is that rachel or michelle okay there goes number two these foods are known to be positive for focusing except for what are good focused foods except for blueberries coffee cheese or salmon i'm telling you this questions here travel the world we're going from hebrew language to science shabbat shalom to adam leff to marty martin rosen kaufman shabbat shalom to you okay the answer is cheese wow people know this did not expect that much goldie's bro jamie jay jamie's mom maya weiner and leia silver okay the leaderboard is changing here here it goes in 2020 while the u.s ranked number 19 in happiness israel came in at what number 4 13 67 or 163 this is 2020 2020 13 67 163 how happy is israel how happy in israel linda schwartz shabbat shalom the dukes and thornhill shabbat shalom here it is 13 i think it used to be four a while ago it is now 13. 13 mayor wiener goldie's bro leia silver sherry and friend linda b look how this leaderboard is changing so radically this is great the competition is increasing let's go to the next question okay on the life stress rating scale which one of these is ranked the highest which is the most stressful vacation marriage detention in jail or other institutions or changes in residence which of these thorough things will lead to the highest amount of stress rifka stark shabbat shalom yeah meet later shabbat shalom helen laner of manalapan shabbat shalom okay detentions in jail i love that marriage had the most people i just want to note that for the record that i got to tell you just just to get a little background here i thought this question was too easy i almost pulled it in our pre-game meeting and look i can't believe this i almost pulled it and our massive producer yaakov ginger is like i'm telling you they're not going to get it i cannot believe marriage ranked higher than jail marriage ranked higher than jail you got it here i hope everyone's enjoying this moment as much as i am we believe that marriage is more stressful than going to jail awesome okay let's see who won i can't believe i got this one wrong let's see who won i thought they would be too easy okay here it goes mitch third place welcome to the leaderboard goldie's bro number one let's see what we got maya wiener congratulations meyer weiner please call or email projectinspire.com to get your goodies i am loving the fact that marriage somehow found a way to get higher um than the detention okay before we go to our next guest i want to play this incredible video about what stress is and just how it impacts us even if it may not even be real check this video out [Music] foreign [Music] stop [Applause] is foreign [Music] there's [Music] foreign [Music] that last is [Music] [Applause] a fascinating commercial don't you think torturing people to prove the point but i think it's a very important message look at the level of stress that took place on somebody's life for something that wasn't even real how much of that happens to us how much of our lives is emotions and stress for things that aren't even real it's what we see what we think how much of our lives are we just handing to stress for environments and for circumstances that aren't real question that's what stress can do for us but we've gotten some great answers and we've got another great guest coming up right now name is jackie glazer jackie had a private practice in sydney australia and worked as the resident psychologist on the national today show her background includes working with youth off the streets consulting to private and public hospitals and facilitating therapeutic groups jackie also consulted and did organizational work for the police media personalities and other non-profit organizations she was the keynote speaker for three consecutive years at the national young leaders foundation in australia jackie engel is now the director of leadership development olami director of the jew of jewish leadership foundation director of sold a jewish women's empowerment program in manhattan and a regular teacher from or manhattan jackie welcome to the show hi hi how are you welcome to the show thanks kelly now you have been leading this program that has caught fire i've heard about it by only i don't know a million people it's about jewish meditation and mindfulness now when you when you speak to someone that's not familiar with these concepts they think meditation are you kidding me i'm busy i got stuff called come on meditation like maybe if i had a week to like go on some hill somewhere what what is meditation and mindfulness the way you see it and how can that actually help regular people like us great question okay so i was the same by the way i was like you gotta be kidding me i'm not one of these spiritual people and essentially that video that ad you just showed is was such a perfect segue to this because that that really is a snapshot about what we all do right which is when we're stressed we can get stressed over something that's completely fake doubt ourselves live in that insecurity keep looking externally to define ourselves right which if i if i look in 20 years of experience of psychology and i look at if i peel back all the psychological emotional stuff and look what are the roots or the common denominators of most stressors today and most senses of disease right i would say there's two things and one thing is that we define ourselves externally just like that that ad showed right we look to society to other people for approval from others norms bosses institutions schools to define whether we're okay and successful and the second thing which has become so apparent with covert which is exactly why i started this program called olympic connect this jewish global meditation and mindfulness program is because we implicitly trust other things outside of ourselves that are not in control we implicitly trust politicians and doctors and bosses and whatever it is whatever institutions that we give honor to empower which we should listen to we shouldn't dismiss them but they're not in control and i think covert has brought that out really obviously for everyone that everything keeps changing every day right so we we always feel this anxiety now because we really don't know what the full truth is at any given day and it's changing based on information we're finding out and those two things together if you can nail those and when i say nail those i mean find a way to define ourselves internally number one and number two have a true relationship with a higher power a creator uh a divine source you can call it whatever you want to call it if you don't want to call it god that's fine but having some sort of connection to the fact that there is something bigger running the show and when you can truly go to those two places there's the deepest sense of inner calm and peace and stability that you will ever experience in your life and that's what the program teaches everyone wow that sounds awesome just for anyone who's interested just go to olamide.org backslash connect to find out more but jackie we're not done yet so those who want to find out more go find out more it's it's ripping through the world i i mean so many people are talking about it so so get us started okay as you're talking i'm thinking i'm in when morning i can't do it at night maybe i'll do it on the train so so tell us like practically how a person because you're exactly right right the ability to over rely on external factors that have anyways proved in many cases to not have the information that we want even though they're trying their hardest and the ability to connect to the higher power is absolutely in line with what dr palkwood said what mrs radcliffe said and exactly what you're saying this is exactly the path we need to be going on but can you give me a way to get started can you give us something to do and you know be a great time to do it shabbat like like this would be perfect like we're walking in to like shabbat now so give us something to take with us as we go into shabbat when we come out of shabbat we're gonna all go to olamide.org backslash connect but because just double check that it might be forward slash slash connect olamide.org forward slash connect yeah but give me okay it is forwarded right it's going forward if you can give everything's backwards backwards are following your israeli right give us something yeah tangible to take with us the shabbat okay so perfect shabbat is a 25 hour meditation why is it so much more powerful on shabbat because we get access to a higher level of our soul it says right in torah so in torah also what it refers to is it says isaac dug lots of wells right and that was an allusion to the fact that we have a whole internal world inside like a well and we don't know how to connect to it often especially in this day and age because it is so um distracting everything's so distracting we're pulled out of ourselves so if you're if you're brave charlie can we try something now yeah can we try something if if anyone watching doesn't want to do it that's totally cool take a nap you're probably tired or go get a cup of coffee so like you don't have to do this but i think what's more powerful than me just chatting and talking especially because i talk fast and i have an accent which doesn't help is if we just stop and try it for like one minute let's do it for one or two minutes okay so i'm gonna do it with you and i'm gonna talk everyone through if you're willing to just try this guys even if you're like skeptical that's fine just try it and you don't even have to fully be on board with a higher power yet you can just do it as an experiment okay so stop and get comfortable there's no right or wrong way to meditate it's about just being with the moment of whatever is going on and i just want to say two things that are important meditation is about connecting into that inner well like comes calming everything down quietening the noise mindfulness is about channeling that essence once you connect into everything that we do okay so they're the two differences because we often use them interchangeably but they're they're two distinct different functions so just get comfortable close your eyes as soon as we close our eyes we go internal right as soon as you close your eyes and you shut out the world you focus internally and i just want you to imagine a wave going from the top of your head just literally a wave moving down your body of and as it moves past each part of your body that part of the body gets permission to relax and let go of tension right whatever tensions is there just as it moves down behind your eyes and down behind your your in your face and your neck just imagine you can imagine it however you want light or energy or just a wave moving all the way down your neck and taking a deep breath into your belly and on the exhale just allowing ourselves to be here for the next minute with nothing else to do just be here present allowing that quietness just notice what you experience when you tune in to yourself is it uncomfortable is it awkward just just notice without judgment just be aware and observe it and let that wave move down your neck and your shoulders and your arms and as it's moving through different parts of your body just letting go of any tension just giving permission for any tension to just release moving down your your chest your back your stomach moving away waving all the way down just letting go easily and effortlessly down into your hips down into your calves your legs calves just tracking your body all the way down to your feet into the tips of your toes and just noticing which parts are holding on tension and which parts aren't just giving more permission to release and let go and just being conscious and aware and being in the moment is often a new experience and just be aware of how that is for you and it's in this moment that it becomes a little bit more easy to imagine to entertain the possibility to connect to the idea that there is a higher power divine source actually in the room with you personally right here and right now in this moment and just imagine or just connect if you already believe that but there is a higher source running the world that cares about you personally very very much and wants you to succeed and be the best you you can be he's involved intimately with your life and is right here right now with you personally and just notice what you notice when you notice that and it's from this place of slightly more calm slightly more connection and actually letting ourselves connect with a higher power even bringing the consciousness in that there is a higher power is a massive shift for many people that's from this place we can then move into our lives and aim kivun aim kavanagh intention into everything we do to be present and to connect much more deeply and we can bring this presence into shabbat if you try this on shabbat it will be much more powerful and i highly encourage everyone i invite everyone to try that was awesome jackie thank you so much for that i recommend everybody trying that as well shabbat even if you feel uncomfortable about it push yourself it's even better right because i think you told me early once life begins at the end of your comfort zone exactly right exactly right and check out uh we have it on the list here check out olami.org forward slash connect jackie thanks so much for joining us enjoy shabbat shabbat shalom and thanks for who you are and the light you bring to the world that was jackie engel really awesome you should try it i gotta tell you i think it's a great shabbat exercise um not during the dinner table afterwards um take a breath and get into a deeper piece of who we are it's now time for jamie geller we love having jamie on uh jamie geller comes every single week to to brighten up our show please turn your attention to the one and only jamie geller thank you charlie and hello everybody so you might notice things look just a little bit different here this week that's because we're on vacation or staycation here in jerusalem my favorite place on earth as the summer's just winding down we took the family for a few days to rest relax rejuvenate and allow us to properly refocus god willing for the coming year but just because i'm here it doesn't mean i don't have something super duper special for you this week we're sharing blueberry baca and not just because it's delicious and not just because blueberries are in season but did you know that blueberries can help maintain brain function and improve memory so i thought this recipe was pretty apropos given the subject matter of the show this week i hope that you enjoy it and i want to wish you a shabbat shalom with love from jerusalem [Music] so [Music] thank you jamie always incredible jamie's awesome for more great videos go to jamiegallow.com facebook instagram pinterest youtube twitter tick tock jimmy gallery and jewish jewish by jamie thank you jamie and special shout out to her mom and her dad all right that's our show for this week and i just wanted to wish everybody um really to have an incredible shabbat you know this is an opportunity for us shabbat's the time that god gives us as dr pelkowitz said it's the ble it's really the the it's the the solution before the problem god built the world that was meant to operate in a complex way for us to do in a way in which we can navigate these feelings of stress these drillings of of focus so what could be better than having this conversation literally as you can almost smell the challah and you can almost taste that the shabbat food as shabbat comes into this world this is the best time for us to put some of these in practice and really commit ourselves to accepting who we are and all of our imperfections accepting these thoughts like the amazon.com model give ourselves meditation and mindfulness to be much connected to our stronger core and become the people that we're meant to be that's what shabbat is here for shabbat is here to help us be the people we're meant to be so on behalf of me and mine to you and yours i wish you a shabbat filled with rest focus lack of stress clarity mindfulness and connection and i hope and i pray that next week we get to do this live in jerusalem together but if not with god's help i can't wait to see you next week 5 30 eastern time good shabbos shabbat shalom and with god's help i cannot wait to see you again next week it for that master goal we don't forget wherever we may go there is only one place we and if know feel like you're [Music] i will outnumbered you down [Music] you