The Shabbat Show - Episode 15: Standing Up After the Fall

[Music] hello everybody welcome to another shabbat show another week incredible just how quickly this summer is starting to go on us this is a special shabbat because this shabbat is called shabbat khazon it is the shabbat that is the one right before what is arguably one of the most impactful serious and important days of the year which is taking place this week which is tish above tish above is the day in which we commemorate the destruction of the temple and what we're doing in tishhab is not going backwards and saying we once had a building and now it's burned the temple represented a time in our lives where we felt godliness everywhere where we lived under a certain measure of protection where we were able to interact with god in a much different way where the world operated in a much different way the destruction of the temple led us to a world that was a little darker a little where he was a little more hidden where there was a little bit less for us to see in an open way and it ushered into an era that we've been going on for almost 2000 years where the jewish people have encountered challenge upon challenge upon challenge with god inside us and god still with us but not as clear as he was before we had no choice but to dig into who we are and find a way to persevere and that's what today is all about this show is a show about what you do from challenge standing up after the fall because fall we all do this is a period of time that has been very challenging for people whether it's a challenge and loss of health or life loss of employment a challenge in terms of loss of freedom and mobility people living in different conditions the inability to see loved ones it's been challenge some had it a lot are having it harder than others but what we want to talk about today is how do you persevere where does it come from how do where do you draw it from how come some people seem to fall and never get up and some people seem to fall and get up and get up and get up and keep on getting up that's what we're going to talk about we got incredible guests this is a great awesome power packed show with wisdom that i know when we walk away we're going to have some real tools to put in our pockets meet some real heroes that have really faced challenge and have overcome it hear from world-class psychologists meet incredible people from all over the show is being sponsored by a great company award-winning courtois bridal gowns paloma blanca's flattering and inspiring designs have garnered a number of prestigious bridal industry awards canadian made paloma blanca has generated worldwide acclaim and respect within the bridal industries paloma blanca is our sponsor look them up they're incredible and they can most definitely be your solution to your bridal needs we've got a great show we've got kahoot coming up check that out get ready remember go to kahoot.it to get yourself ready for the kahoot we got dr david lieberman here a world-renowned psychologist we've got judge richard bernstein a wonderful incredible inspiring human being the only blind supreme court justice in the united states of america we will be meeting a wonderful woman elizabeth leah we've got an incredible source of perseverance and power and mrs rajelli franco coming up we've got jamie geller coming up we've got some new music videos we've got some inspirational videos it's a power pack show excited to have you on i'm excited to get into it now before we do i want to say one or two more things number one there's a great new website that was launched it's called the shabbat show.com this show now has his own website i was looking at it all week this week because what it has if you go to the website check it out the shabbat show.com if you two b's shabbat two b's if you have what's incredible is on the middle of that page is a is a counter down to the show i find myself checking out monday tuesday wednesday night i'm like it's almost there almost there almost there but it's amazing it's got all the videos from the past it's got remember time i say uh that was a great clip there's a full video coming up it's on the site it's got past shows you really want to check it out the shabbat show.com and i believe i don't know if it's this week but definitely in the future you'll be able to stream the show live from there as well so check that out remember the one-on-ones i don't know if the project inspire team wants to throw a flyer up for one-on-ones now but if you remember one-on-ones is one of the most uh impactful things that project inspire is doing they are literally connecting people from all over to learn about jerusalem here it is learn what you want and when you want 97 000 just text 97 7 000 text one on one the way it is in the screen here 97 000. we've got a great show coming up this week so this week coming up is tish above thursday is tish above the fast the 25 hour fast so whether you're fasting or not what we have been doing for years now uh me and my rabbi jesse friedman the executive director of project inspire mariachi freeman and i have been hosting a show together for years and so you check it out it's a live show it's about it's two and hours and 15 minutes it's a long time we've got incredible guests if you're fasting it is a great way to end the fast with us and if you're not fasting it's a great way to be part of the fast as we get to those final hours that are so critical so check that out this week um you can go to projectinspire.com or my facebook page to see it as well okay before we get going i want to do a couple of shout outs just to say hello to some people uh mark hoffman shabbat shalom um to uh yosef do pharaoh from pasek shabbat shalom to the simons of phoenix shabbat shalom to the propels in miami shabbat shalom ozzy from baltimore shabbat shalom to you um and we've got okay let's begin let's get this this program going over here we got our first guest coming up our first guest is a part of an incredible organization that i've been talking about a lot here i i think is really an incredible incredible one of the one of the greatest organizations that the jewish people have with 320 branches and across 30 countries olami is inspiring students with jewish wisdom around the world and introducing them to the beauty of shabbat okay here comes our first incredible awesome guest elizabeth leia karanovsky is an integrative nutritional nutrition health coach chicago native and proud business school graduate from the university of illinois and with a background in accounting and finance and deep and a deep passion in health writing and people she's a regular contributor for the huffington post the elite daily thought catalog and oi chicago she's also a blogger behind elizabethley.com check it out a personal health and lifestyle blog about nutrition and psychology elizabeth leia welcome to the show thank you so much for having me thank you what an honor to have you on so great that you're here and you're with us thank you for all that you do talk to us a little bit about who you are give us a little bit about your background yeah for sure um so i guess where i could start is i was born in minsk belarus so my family immigrated here when i was two um and so i grew up very secular and my family fled belarus because of anti-semitism so um they didn't you know it was like discouraged to even practice anything um back there so growing up here i really was exposed to the culture um but again very just traditions like cultural traditions not really much of the understanding of it not until i went to university of illinois actually in urbana-champaign did i get more involved with the jewish community i joined a jewish sorority um i was a part of hillel and went to a bot event so it was really there that i realized we were a minority i know i'm just so lucky to say that but i grew up my junior high was 90 jewish my high school was 60 so the area was just very very jewish um it wasn't until i went to school that i realized we are a minority and i kind of gravitated towards people like me um and by chance just realized that most of my friends just happened to be jewish and i just felt comfortable in that setting um and then fast forward to now i'm a part of um jay life shout out to rabbi frankel and jay life in chicago um and you know i have done a bunch of shabbats now and been to shabbaton so just getting more involved in the community and i've loved it thus far so yeah tell me a little bit about that that journey that experience that that introduction what shabbat means to you what what impact it's having on you why when you're engaged in it you want to do more of it share with us a little bit of your of your their inner feelings as you as you you come up against the learning shabbat and those experiences yeah well i think a lot of it is just that i love people so anything that um you know garners conversations with people anything that involves just you know recounting the week and talking about maybe a lesson that we've learned here there especially around food i think is there's just no better place to do that um so i've been to you know a bunch of shabbat dinners like i mentioned and it was just my favorite thing you know to sit down to not you know be on any kind of technology to be disconnected but so connected at the same time with everybody around the table um i just you know i think it's the best thing honestly um and so for me because i grew up so secular right i had to kind of learn like baby steps you know the candle lighting and all of the prayers and and kind of the the the different events in within just shabbat alone so um so i i started learning more about it and i with my rabbi um he even said to me he's like well let's start small like can you just like light candles and for the time that the candles are lit you're not on your phone you're not on technology and i started to do that and i just really enjoyed that feeling that i got um and ever since then really i've just been connected again to more people that are jewish and have learned from kind of their experiences and what they do to make shabbat special and i've incorporated that into my own routine so yeah amazing talk to us a little bit about challenge you know you have some career changes challenges you've gone through um what what do you feel that the spirituality the shabbat that area of it contributes to people that are going through challenge in life yeah um so i have my own personal story i guess with that i uh so i'm a holistic health coach today but that was not my not my education and not my profession for the better half of a decade my background's in accounting and finance and so i did accounting and finance and tech consulting for many years and got really burnt out to the point that i actually physically was burnt out i ended up in the hospital for four days with gi issues and when i was talking to the doctor they couldn't find any underlying like physical issues with that other than or physical sources of that i should say other than it being stress related so i had four days in the hospital doomed down my throat to really like understand and and reassess my life like what direction did i want to take this what meant the most to me and with that i decided to go into health coaching it was something that i thought about a few years back but i was too scared to make the jump at the time but i knew that i had no other choice i needed to do it now um so i made that jump and my journey with judaism in the last year and my involvement with shabbos and all that um has it's been a parallel journey so with me getting into health coaching with me starting a business i've also gotten a lot i've leaned in to um just my jewish identity and the different traditions of shabbat um and so yeah so with that i've grown i've just kind of learned to let go and i don't know be more spiritual lean in like i said so um it's been a very uh personal journey for me so that's why i'm so honored to be on the show today because i just feel like this this topic just resonates with me so much so yeah yeah amazing well elizabeth it's so nice to meet you continue journeying to the greatest heights that i'm sure you will get to and you should continue to shine your light wherever you go thank you so much it was a pleasure thank you it's our honor shabbat shalom to you and thanks so much for joining us on the show that was elizabeth leia incredible this is how awesome are our people when we have people like this and this is the future and so shout out to elizabeth leia shout out to all the teachers and all on me and everybody else who was a part of and will continue to be a part of her and her journey um a couple more shout outs here to um to shiri and mark from mountain view california shabbat shalom since shabbat shalom uh take new jersey arya max shabbat shalom so those couple more there again if you have a zoom link send it to the people that you think would want because for some reason people have not been getting zoom links but it's being um broadcasted across all the other platforms thank god so we're doing uh great over here and uh thanks so much for joining us and you know we're about to enter into this incredible day um and really one of the one of the tragedies of i think where we are right now two thousand almost two thousand years from from the destruction of the temple is that we forgot it doesn't really matter to us so much we've gotten used to life without a temple we're okay without the temple um and we've got this great video that just shows just maybe a perspective of maybe what it was like back then maybe the way we should be a little bit more today check this out [Music] do [Music] so [Music] so [Music] so [Music] [Laughter] [Music] so [Music] it's an incredible video and it really sheds light into the pain that we should be feeling we've gotten used to this life we've gotten used to a world where there's no presence of god manifest in a visible way anywhere in the world we've gotten used to [Music] we've gotten used to god being hidden and us hoping that nobody kills us versus god being manifest and us walking with a certain pride of what we are what we have what's this stands for so we're mourning for real we've been challenged but going through challenges has its strategies and we thought to um really bring out some of the greatness of how to get through challenge we went to an individual who faced it in the most horrific way before i announce our next guest if you're watching this and you want to share the zoom link it's 921-2933-8130 921 2933 8130 that's the zoom link for those who want to um to to check in on zoom if you remember about six years ago the sun it was this summer six years ago the jewish world was in disbelief three boys were kidnapped coming home from school remember that i was on a trip then 200 guys some of you may be on watching right now we actually went out to a restaurant and it just happened to be 10 feet from a idf training ground where they were training the soldiers or or they were letting them go find the boys it was incredible the country was in shock and the prayers were flowing like it was unreal the boys were found murdered and one of the boys his name was naftali frankel his soul should be right now up in heaven right now fighting for us for only good things his mother immediately was a source of comfort and inspiration to millions of people this wasn't a family crisis this was a jewish crisis and she has since been this incredible source to the world i had a chance this week to sit down with miss rachel franco and talk to her about how she got through this check this out [Music] thank you so much for joining us it's an honor to have you on the show um and i guess the question that i'm thinking and i'd love to get your perspective on is standing up after a fall someone that experiences a tragedy someone experienced something that's unexpected that could literally knock someone right off their lives how does a person do it how does a person continue on in a positive way after getting a massive challenge and um i heard wonderful things about your program so it's an honor to be here and um i hear there are a couple of people with us in our uh little kabacha vet here yes there are a few people watching a few okay um the truth is you know nobody becomes professional like this [Music] nothing's planned and it's not like you you bought into a deal and and you were you deal with things as they come right um i i can tell you what worked for me and [Music] and first of all uh i i must say it's um [Music] you're not alone i mean um there's so much support out there and sometimes um you have to you have to open a little door to let the support in uh the fact that there's so many people that are that are just there to hug you i mean corona hugs but um it it it still doesn't mean that you're you're capable of accepting it so some of the work is is being able to to accept uh what what the world the support that the world is is offering you uh i can say we experienced the most unbelievable hug that you know i tend to be a little bit cynical but i lost the ability to be cynical about what what uh what the jewish world can offer you and what your community can offer you and what your family can offer you that you really need to open within your place the place that says i'll be always there out helping people but but i'm allowed to accept i'm allowed to uh to you know they we talk a lot about vulnerability these days but difficult times like these are not times to to build these tremendous walls that have been protecting me all the time it's it's time to to to be weak to to uh to accept so that's such a great point that you make so many times in life people feel that they feel bad accepting they feel weak accepting you're making such an astute point in that many times the ability to accept is part of the strength it's part of the recognition that this is how i'm going to get through it and sometimes it's a kindness to other people who want to be part of it exactly that's exactly what i want to say it's it's not like uh now i'm only i'm only accepting a different time i'll only give it it's life is both right it's about about and and sometimes being willing to accept is the biggest gift you can give all these people that just dying to to reach out to you so so that's a big deal and it's a present to the world to to to be able to be in that place too and besides you juggle it it's not like you're only doing that you're doing both um so so that's one side of them yeah when a tragedy happens or something you know sad so so people might come into a shiva home and look the people in the eye and put a hand on their shoulder and say to you be strong and i always feel like sometimes i actually do it but i feel like you know running to them and saying don't be strong be flexible okay because there's something about strength that it's either you know it's it's it's binary yeah i think i'm gonna break yes i'm gonna crack now i'm gone yeah but flexible means that that you have room in your life for for everything you know uh for the joy for the sorrow for the pain for for for the wonderful things that happen it doesn't happen overnight but it's it's when you understand that you don't have to let go of your hardship in order to experience joy for instance yeah their life is about you know life is complex you do you do everything together um so finding room in your life um and and this this has a lot to do with grieving it's it it's uh it's not it's not only this or only that it's it's everything but but the one thing that is most useful for me and then i'll let you talk is um and and this doesn't necessarily have to do with with you know with tragedies it has to do with hardship also challenges is the times when you tell yourself um i can feel pain i don't have to become my pain i can feel sorrow i don't have to become my sorrow and the truth is it works for um i can feel anxiety i don't have to become my anxiety i can feel pressure i don't have to become my pressure in my inner landscape there's so much more there's you know there's the there's the the the pains and the blessings and the and the successes and the failures and the expectations and the and the dreams and the disappointments and it's all there and and it feels like a person could choose to to you know to take this bucket full of black paint and spill it all over their life i guess people wouldn't be judgemental to him but i can only speak for myself to me to me it feel it felt stupid it felt um like a terrible uh in gratitude to all the blessings we have in our life and we have so many blessings in our life so so it's it's like if you take a metaphor from from photography uh you you can you can focus on on on your wound or on your pain or on your hardship and it will fill up your frame easily easy but you can you can take the picture of of your life with a wide lens and sitting right there it's not going anywhere but you but you get the full skull and yeah and you could you know there's room for the blessings and there's room for the joys and there's room for other stuff and yeah so that's what works for me but sometimes there's a sense of betrayal if i let go of this you know of the pain for a minute and i'll and i will notice something else in my life yeah and it's not that it doesn't work like that it's i think people do feel i think people feel that if i allow myself to experience joy then i will have um betrayed the thing that is causing me the pain yeah that was the the just a piece we can't show you the whole thing because it'll be 25 30 minutes long for those who want to watch the whole piece you can go to the shabbat show.com next starting next week and you'll see the entire interview there it was really it was really incredible and one of the things that mrs frankel said that i think is so critical here to take away f from this this is this idea of that lens that she speaks about many times people go through challenge the lens sort of like circles right around the challenge it's all it's all that's in the lens and it becomes nearly impossible to go through that because all you're focusing on is the challenge and rachel frankel who went through such a horrific challenge was able to widen the lens it's not betraying the person that's the cause of the pain it just allows a lot of that power to come in um so it was powerful to speak to if you want to watch the entire episode please do so um just a couple more shabbat shaloms i'm telling what we're doing next we're going to go to kahoot next we're going to play a game um and so if i can ask the project inspire team to start doing kahoot we're going to give everybody an extra few minutes today and here's why because my mom said that she needs another few seconds to find the kahoot link and to make sure she gets the code in and if my mom needs the code like can you imagine i'm a jewish jewish mom you got to give her an extra minute so project inspire please give me an extra minute here this week is five three nine one one three i'm gonna do some shabbat shalom's as kahoot starts up over here um and uh here we go uh shabbat shalom to the schaefers epstein in toronto canada shabbat shalom to lawrence and hillary hess and fairlawn shabbat shalom to the shaffers in thornhill shabbat shalom to joseph to pharaoh from passaic shabbat shalom from new jer from deal new jersey one of my favorite places deal new jersey on my facebook page for those who are watching it on my facebook page thanks so much for doing it remember who it is now if you're listening from any other platform five three nine one one three mommy five three nine one one three shabbat shalom to rochelle jacob sullivan shabbat shalom to michael gerd she watched home to deborah cohen carolyn fetter small sharowitz shalom to you thanks so much ruth kramer parrots liran my brother liran shabbat shalom to barbary furman uh shabbat shalom to everybody who is on all the different accounts i'd love to be able to see everybody give everybody one or two more seconds for those that are coming in now to the kahoot game five three nine one one three i know it's getting competitive five three nine one one three for those that are if you want to do it on your app it's kahoot.it it may make sense if you're coming on the show for those who are here first for the first time welcome we play coot every single week i want to make a one really nice announcement for those that are watching the show thank god baruch hashem should only continue and grow we we surpassed 10 000 viewers last week so thank you so much for your viewership and please feel free to share the show with your friends and family it'd be great to have more and more more of our brothers and sisters joining together every 5 30 to to bring in shabbat together okay i can't wait any longer guys i'm gonna wait one more minute okay let's just do it because it's too much you can't wait that long let's get rolling first question here goes how many years ago was the second temple in jerusalem destroyed how many years ago was the second temple in jerusalem destroyed if you've been paying attention to me you will know that answer from earlier in the show a thousand and six nine one thousand nine fifty thirty three hundred fifty seven eighty how many years ago was the temple second temple remember there were two temples destroyed the babylonians and the romans the romans were number two oh i don't know if that's whatever how many times how much i just shared let's get through this okay here we go very good most people got this one right let's get let's see how we do a victor novak aviva phoenix phoenix is in the game ozzy and rm a lot of our players are back okay next one which nation destroy the second temple i hope you've been paying attention to me which nation the should i say the greeks the romans the philistines of the egyptians which nation destroy the second temple the greeks the romans the philistines or the egyptians 12 seconds left if you want some more shabbat shalom's go to the zoom link where you go to my facebook we'll get as many shabbat shalom as we can here goes the romans very good for those who said the greeks that was earlier as during the chanukah miracle but they had beat the greeks kept the second temple and the romans ultimately destroyed it okay let's see how we do let's see what our leaderboard looks like aviva to the top phoenix is right behind their rm m-fam and a victor novak okay let's see what we got question number three how is the temple referenced in in jewish scripture the hebrew word for the temple dash or beit shemesh dash betrayed how is the temple referred to in jewish scripture in hebrew for those who are interested yasee freeman and i will be live 6 30. on tissue of night here comes the answers very good beethoven awesome we got a great crowd of rocking over here let's see how we do aviva continues to lead rm right behind her thinks phoenix is almost there never count out phoenix that's a rule and fam and sheary okay guys last one this is this is the curveball who is this famous singer exiting the western wall 1971 who is this famous singer exiting the wall 1971 david bowie frank sinatra mick jagger bob dylan you can find another pattern in that group there's something else that is unique about the answer not just if you can recognize him in the picture let's see if you can figure out what makes him unique which of these things are not like the others for those who grew up at a time of sesame street which of these things very good it was bob dylan also i believe the only jew on the page over here bob dylan 1971 the coattail okay let's see how we did mfam and third phoenix phoenix arizona a strong silver and our first place winner is rm excellent job everybody r m i wonder who rm is rm should identify him or herself so that i could understand some of the players here but thanks everybody for playing kahoot remember your prizes are available at projectinspire.com we've been giving out prizes for real i believe we have so check out projectinspired.com to get your prizes our next guest credible individual i'm telling you this show thank god we've been getting some great great guests judge richard bernstein is the only blind supreme court justice in the united states of america but it's not just that he is so much more and it is an incredible incredible honor that we had a chance to interview him and he's got such great words to share check out a little bit about judge bursting and the interview [Music] being born blind i am truly blessed [Music] it's the most painful beginnings that lead to the most triumphant of finishes [Music] adversity hardship and challenge gives rise to pain purpose but most importantly connection an easy life does not always correspond to a good one i guess really my my initial my first question really is challenge you know i think when people approach challenge they try to downplay challenge they try to be like oh come on just think positively but you know someone like yourself who is constantly pushing yourself harder you're constantly going to challenge yourself right um what what is your approach to how to deal with challenge grapple a challenge and grow from challenge the way that i tend to approach it and again i can only kind of speak for myself is i tend to try to take from those experiences and learn from those but not learn the sense of okay become more knowledgeable for me it's more of a sense of okay what can i do with these experiences that allows for me to find a greater sense of mission or greater sense of purpose or a greater sense of focus or a tremendous sense of passion i think what happens is is that people that go through life and have experienced some genuine setback i'm talking about real loss i'm talking about health challenges i'm talking about genuine pain what sometimes happens is is that if you're able to kind of take from that and and focus your anger and your heartbreak and your disdain and your frustration and say that okay i now have this experience but i am gonna do something with this experience i am gonna marshal these emotions and i am going to do something about it to make things better to really have a positive impact and to lead to real genuine and lasting change i think that's the key it's funny because people like me who are blind and also i also went through a catastrophic accident where i was hit by a bicyclist in central park and spent over 10 weeks at mount sinai hospital basically having to learn how to walk again and having to learn how to you know rebuild my life and i've done 24 marathons and a full ironman but at the time of my accidents you know i had done 17 marathons and a full ironman and then i had to learn how to walk again and had to learn how to navigate through the pain of such a tremendous setback but just a quick example of kind of how i used your question which was you know while i was in the hospital i actually filed a federal lawsuit against new york city now i wasn't asking for any money i didn't want a dime a nickel or a cent from the city i wanted nothing from the city but what i did want from them was i wanted to make changes to central park and these were changes that the city could easily make that would help to prevent injuries like this from happening in the future it's not going to be foolproof but this was a situation where you could literally make things better and safer for all people to use and enjoy in the city because of inertia wasn't doing it and what was funny was that i actually filed the lawsuit from my hospital bed you know i was in horrible pain at mount sinai but i felt this was so important that i filed the litigation from literally mount sinai hospital and the week that i did that and it was funny because i think that the doctors and nurses kind of understood that this was actually important to my recovery removed that feeling of just this kind of sense of oh wow that this was like a just a sad thing that happened or this was just a sad state of affairs or a sad thing of chance and instead it allowed me to kind of say okay i had this sense of like inner strength that kind of emerged as a result because i was able to say that all right i am now going to have to live my life totally different you know i've been born blind i've been an athlete now i have to live with chronic pain for the rest of my days but i was able to say i am going to experience all that and i am going to live with all that but as a result of that central park is going to be made safer central park is going to be made better yes are people still going to get injured yes there's still going to be accidents yes are these things going to happen absolutely but am i able to take a situation and make it a little bit better and if i can say that i took a situation and made it better than it was then ultimately what that does is when i wake up in the morning and i have to face a tremendous chronic pain that comes with this injury i'm able to say that it was for a purpose or it was for a reason and it was for something bigger than myself it's an incredible approach and it sounds to me that what i'm hearing you say is recovery almost feels like you're going backwards it almost feels like you were won something right now that if someone goes through challenge they've been taken off what they were won so they have to recover and get back to what they had and that doesn't always happen what i'm hearing you say is recovery really is sort of filling in the past and making up that which was lost what you're saying is that is not the approach it's not about recovery it's not about going back to normal right about going forward to greatness it's saying okay this happened and now i gotta adapt i gotta make i gotta make the world better and there's gonna be something that i may now be aware of appreciative pretty appreciative of that i may not have ever had before so there is a sense of loss that uh is going to be the price for my new adaptation and that mentality will it makes a person more resilient because they're always moving forward into a world that they didn't know about before that's exactly right and the most important thing is you have to mourn for your old life and you have to mourn for the life that you once had or the person that you once had or the way that you lived or the way you experience things you have to mourn for it but after you kind of are able to kind of work through that morning phase and you're able to get to the acceptance point then it's about trying to channel it and then saying okay i'm going to now focus on adaptation and then figuring out with through that adaptation what your next step and what your next move is going to be and then what you tend to find is that's usually where hashem will tend to help you because an opportunity will present itself a circumstance will come along a situation will be encountered that your new life experience is now going to be just perfect for and it's from that experience that it's going to kind of take you into a different direction in a direction that you hadn't anticipated or counted on but a direction that's going to really move you in a very powerful way that was a clip of the interview with judge bernstein if you want to watch the whole thing you can go to the shabbat show.com um and he said so much in the larger interview that i wanted to make sure was clear what he really was getting at um he's incredibly articulate this idea of what he sitting at your your hospital bed was really the driving force of this concept of when something happens we don't go backwards where can i find good where can i make the world better how do i adapt how do i mourn adapt and make better there's a lot of research behind this and i'm sure dr blumen is going to have this conversation coming up pretty soon but it's a great approach towards life which is you don't go back you don't go back to normal you go forward to something bigger and sometimes the thing that's coming your way is even bigger than that which you anticipated and if you go to the full interview you're going to see he speaks about this concept about many times in life after you're done recovering if you will and adapting you now go back into your life and see an opportunity you didn't see before a couple more shabbat shaloms here to miriam dabba shabbat shalom to you uh refuge shabbat shalom to you and congrats um so shabbat shalom a few more times uh and of course we're up to our partner jamie gail everybody loves jamie every single week we have the opportunity to see one of her incredible incredible creations so without further ado jamie going thank you charlie so so much and hello everybody i hope you are all well these are such challenging times for all of us my boys actually happen to be in quarantine right now along with the rest of their school and we as the jewish people find ourselves in the midst of the nine days in a cute time of morning where historically we do not eat chicken or meat or drink wine during this time so we in the kosher culinary world are tasked with coming up with creative ways to help you feed your family so this week i'm sharing with you zoodles zucchini noodles zoodle alfredo so what this is is a low carb but super creamy decadent way to kind of get in those like cheesy pasta cravings we originally developed it both for passover and for the nine days at the request of people who are looking for low carb ideas in addition to fish this is a great recipe to add to your repertoire not just now but always i hope to see you on the other side of the nine days where we have reason to celebrate and i want to wish you all a shabbat shalom using a good quality julian peeler julian cut your zucchini into thin strips just like spaghetti place the julian zucchini in a single layer on top of a double layer of paper towels and let it air dry for four hours the zucchini emits a lot of water when heated so you don't want to skip this step the air drying will keep it closer in consistency to pasta over medium heat pour about a tablespoon of olive oil into a large nonstick saute pan add the julienne zucchini and cook tossing the strands occasionally with tongs but don't overcook it and set aside eat one tablespoon of unsalted butter over low to medium heat when the butter is melted and looks just foamy add a large clove of finely chopped garlic and one teaspoon of finely grated lemon zest cook for about one minute until the garlic has softened whisk in two teaspoons of potato starch and cook for about one minute gradually pour in one cup of low-fat milk whisking the ingredients constantly until the sauce is smooth and has thickened add two ounces which is a quarter cup of philadelphia cream cheese cut into half-inch chunks and the philadelphia cream cheese really gives it that great texture that you're looking for in a pasta dish [Music] four tablespoons of romano cheese and four tablespoons of parmesan cheese whisk the ingredients until the cheeses are completely blended into the sauce stir in three tablespoons of fresh chopped parsley add the sauteed zucchini spaghetti to the sauce and toss just until well coated this is a super duper delicious riff on classic fettuccine alfredo but much lighter than pasta with a little bit of fresh parsley on top fresh cracked black pepper this is when i say i love my job thank you jamie for that as always an incredible recipe as part of the our custom starting from last week and entering into tish above that we refrained from that meat we allowed to have as much meat as we want on shabbat which is always a period of time that includes no mourning whatsoever so thank you jamie for that um insightful insightful and great recipe during this period of time for more great videos go to jamiedela.com facebook instagram pinterest youtube twitter tick tock at jamie geller and at jewish by jamie our next guest is an incredible guy um dr david lieberman ph.d is a noted speaker and an award-winning author with a renowned insight in the human into the human condition his 11 books 11 11 books which have been translated into 26 languages include two new york times bestsellers he has sold more than 3 million copies worldwide beside blending the wisdom of torah with cutting edge research dr lieberman dr lieberman's writings and lectures captivate both scholar and layman alike and are enjoyed by people at all levels of all backgrounds dr lieberman welcome to the show thank you charlie it is an amazing show mom is really first off i am so inspired i also feel like the biggest wuss in the world hearing from mrs frankel and judge bernstein about the experiences and you know it's like you know we go to the bagel store and they don't have our everything bagel they give us garlic instead and we're ready to you know it's it's it's the i i i took so many notes while they were speaking i had my own notes and i'm gonna throw them out because what they said was so much more valuable and maybe i could offer just a psychological perspective on it but they have the recipe awesome so tell us the approach that you would from your mind how do you see what what they spoke about because you'll be able to articulate for us things that we may be missing sure look i i think they articulated just uh so amazingly so just a couple things here like uh mrs frankel spoke about the importance of support and you know we have a mitzvah to carry someone else's burden to share their uh obligations and and to ease their pain from a psychological perspective when a person is in pain it's very isolating and we feel alone when you connect with that person you as you know offer a shoulder to lean on to cry on to touch you build a connection a bridge and whatever pain was exacerbated by isolation and loneliness is alleviated so when you reach out and get support you are transforming your your diluting some of that pain because whatever isolation was was adding to that pain it now gets alleviated so far as you have a connection to someone else so from a psychological perspective isn't amazing it's like the idea about support and about you know slow mo hamilton king solomon the wisest of men uh i think you come in a close second by the way just you know if it comes up on the next trivia question i don't think i'm going to be on the board are you kidding me i'm out of the i'm on the planet so i appreciate your kindness right so he says a problem shares a problem have so the therapeutic approach you know in therapy you can go to therapists they may be lousy a lot of them are but you know simply talking it out can be very very effective and that's you know that's something she spoke about she also spoke about the idea about being strong and she said you know she preferred the idea about flexibility and i think if you pull back the lens we'll see as you know as you certainly well know i know you speak about this that you know to be flexible is to be strong if you have a tree that doesn't bend it's you've got two options either it doesn't move or it's going to break so you know and also even with the human body the the more flexible the spine is the stronger we are physically speaking more flexible muscles are the stronger they are so that flexibility the ability to zig and zag and to meet life's challenges um and to embrace the unknown uh is a flexibility that really is part and parcel something that gives us a tremendous amount of strength knowing that if we need to shift we're going to be okay we're not locked into this narrow myopic focus amazing amazing what did you take from uh from judge bernstein the judge bernstein was so amazing you know he speaks uh a lot about you know finding purpose and about finding meeting and you know he's he's the kind of guy who no matter what's going on like you just want to give it to him because you know you know visually impairment aside he will get it done uh and he you know spoke about what uh victor um i'm talking about he's a victor franco i'm sorry franklin yeah okay oh yeah man search for meaning uh about you know giving purpose and about giving um a a a definition refining what it is you're going through taking that pain and using as a catalyst a platform while he was in chronic pain and i was it's awful to hear he still is in acute pain is while he's in pain he says you know what let me go ahead and take this galvanize it and so many of us would go ahead and wrap us a wrap up in this blanket of self-pity and say you know what i'm i'm done you know what i fought the good fight but it's time to call it a day right whereas he says no taking off this blanket you know what i'm moving forward i'm going to use this as momentum as fuel to do something positive and then so he gives meaning to a tragedy and he ends up see the more meaning something has the more pleasure it is so even though the pain exists he's able to look at the wider lens and bring some sense of pleasure if you can call it that into the experience because with meaning comes that pleasure amazing that's a great thing that i want to make sure that we're all hearing clearly um where the more meaning something has the more pleasure it has and so as a result you're now increasing the meaning and then now contrasting out the the pain of it that's a parting word before you know the end of the show i wanted to make sure that you know just leave us with something if the if you have a um how you put this whole together in terms of how you stand up from the fall and some of the things that you're thinking about with that sure beautiful look you know actually i should i give credit where it's properly due i think you're on mute did you did you mute yourself oh someone muted you no i want to hear what you have to say but for some reason maybe i'm not hearing it so why don't you why don't you go on um okay let me know you're back you're good there you go okay fine um so yeah rabbi knock weinberg actually was where i learned that from about you know the more meaning something has more pleasure it has so you know he gets the the credit for that but you know in terms of just a party message the rabbis teach us that i thought like a righteous person falls seven times and gets up seven times they don't say if he falls they say when he falls meaning greatness requires falling down you just have to get up one more time extra then you fall and you're going to succeed we all get banged around brew is knocked around to different degrees but it's the person who gets back up looks at their goal and moves forward knowing that hashem that god is behind them like like the wind behind their back are the ones that are going to stay focused and the ones that are going to build momentum and move forward you have to know also as rabbi north weinberg said is that if god wants you to do something you know that he's going to help you and we all have a mission we all have a purpose we all have our own spiritual dna we are wired to succeed and we can't do that while we're busy feeling sorry for ourselves take make the decision there's nothing more powerful than the decision to move forward and watch what god does for you amazing oh dr you rock have a great job shabbat shalom thanks for what you do for our people and for all people your wisdom is very much appreciated keep up the great work charlie thanks so much thank you so much keep shining your light that was dr lieberman and he he nailed it what could be a better way to end the show with what he just said right recognize that the feeling sorry for ourselves is really draining our our emotional capacity everyone falls everyone goes through challenge and maybe that's really what we're getting at here remember one-on-ones if you want to have a one-on-one go to ninety seven thousand remember two that uh this week thursday is tish above 6 30 p.m we'll be doing a live show me right by yasi friedman you can check that out go to projectinspired.com for that and remember you can go to the shabbat show.com to see the show again to see the full interviews and to watch this live coming next week so let me just end with this um this i think for me the the most important piece or of the most important things that i'm taking from the show is this idea really is that failure is not failure and challenge is not an option it's part of the package when the temple was destroyed that was the new reality we were gonna live in challenge but the recognition that there's a there's a piece of god inside us and god's with us you may not see him as clearly but he's with us if we keep on thinking that way and know that there's going to be an end there's going to be a redemption there's going to be an end whether in my family there'll be an end to this problem or i'll get somewhere the ability to find meaning and purpose to keep on pushing is where the greatness lies greatness is not when you stand on the podium and they put the gold medal around your neck greatness is when you're on the floor with mud in your face and you find the strength to just pick yourself up that's greatness and that's what your bot i think is about it's about giving us the perspective looking back in the week and saying i will be stronger next week i'll do it better next week looking back at a moment we can breathe and reinforcing that faith and reinforcing that commitment to being better every single week this shabbat should be a shabbat filled with comfort as we enter into maybe the saddest week in the jewish calendar it should be a shabbat filled with wisdom a shabbat filled with strength we should appreciate what we have we should appreciate the moments where we've been given a gift appreciate our gifts we should appreciate our challenges we should recognize that even if we feel like we can we can or at least we gotta try because we'll never know until we do and so for me and mine to you and yours i wish you shabbat shalom a good shabbos and i hope and pray that next week we do this live in jerusalem but if not with god's help i hope to get to see you again next week [Music] all of this world that you've forgotten when you went out and you lost you lost your way you [Music] to what lost said stuck in your head [Music] forever [Music] relax unwind you won't believe the things [Music] [Applause] [Music] you lost [Music] don't you listen foreign what they said [Music] i [Music] will oh [Music] is [Music] you