The secret to a happy life - a life full of laughter - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] we're going to start and before we want to dedicate the class first of all for Alon Josephine DIN and M bats for and for for man both should have right away struggling with a terrible disease should have right now so exactly in a week from now we are going to be dressed with costumes and with red noses and eat H tashin and read the Milla and celebrate one of the most nicest holidays of the year the reason why it's one of the most nicest holidays of the year because the whole theme of the holidays to be happy I mean other holidays you have to be serious you have to be strict I mean all the holidays you have to be happy it says you have to to be festive and happy in your holidays but por the theme is you know fun getting dressed up getting drunk having parties the whole Mo theme of the holiday is happiness now we have a very special H Custom in my school that once a month we have a class about the theme of the month the power of the month the the emotions of the month what I can achieve in a certain month each month is separate and different so you can go online and find them they're very very interesting classes so since I'm now on tour we didn't do it the Adar month next week we'll do the class about ad and we'll go online very fast for you can see but every month has a certain sense and the month the sense of the month of Adar we mentioned it yesterday is the sense of of laughter and laughter has two two places two Origins there one of them it comes from a very not good place from an impure place and that's when people make jokes and fun on account on other people and unfortunately half the humor in the world is making fun at somebody else and and people Unfortunately they they they enjoy seeing somebody else suffer I mean if you see somebody fall in a very funny way or a very embarrassing way most people laugh they actually make competitions online now who sends the most funniest video of somebody falling and and people like that I mean you go to places like YouTube and Facebook the ones who have the most views are the ones when people fall and where very embarrassing ways so yeah you might get a good laugh but that's not a good laugh it's not a a real real laugh it's coming from a very impure Place one of the famous the famous SES says a person that constantly is a jokester is like laughter and Kut is like being doing nonsense they bring the person to to do very impure things very IM modest things so there's one type of laughter that that we relate with the mou is a good joke or a good funny movie or or some situation that makes me laugh but that's not the real laugh there's another type of laugh that comes the origin comes from my soul and that's the real laugh and this is not a laugh that I actually necessarily need to sit on the floor and hold my stomach and and laugh rather it comes from a very deep part of my soul and we mentioned yesterday that there's a certain chapter of we actually read it every time we say that we say when we're going to be be returned to Israel it says we would realize that the Exile was like a dream and then we say then our mouth is going to be filled with laughter and our tongues are going to all day long just praise the Kosh means to praising constantly the Kos so thank you so much this is talking about the real laughter that my soul is so fulfilled that it's happy I mentioned yesterday that when a person is depressed it's not because life is hard and not because he has financial problems or a sickness or marital problems it's because the soul is not happy I can have all the problems in the world but if my soul is not happy I'm never going to be happy I'm going to be miserable I'm going to be heavy I'm going to be upset that's only because my soul is not happy and if I am happy sometimes you wake up in the morning and you all good energy that's because my soul is Happy must have done a special Mitzvah the night before or even that day but the reality is that everything that I experience it's my soul projecting out and I'm feeling it so when I'm excited it's because my soul gets excited my soul gets affected by everything around me believe it or not even if it's cold for me weatherwise my soul will get affected Shalom I get burned on my hand my soul will get affected from the burn but also on the negative on the positive part of it people don't really realize that you come and tell them come and pray with us on Shabbat in the morning ah it's too long it's 3 hours and the rabbi keeps talking and and then they sell they start auctioning everything it's becoming business and and everybody talks and I and it's 3 hours you want to let me read 120 pages and you find all the excuses why not to show up but the thing is that when you come even if you force yourself to come and then when you leave you don't realize that your soul just got a little bit of energy and such a powerful energy that you don't even notice but suddenly your mood is better suddenly you're not as tired suddenly you're not as heavy as you were a day before you don't attribute it to that but that's the reality that you you saying oh you know probably I don't know the weather is nice I feel better the reality is that just that the fact that you sat in a holy place for 3 hours and you saw with your own eyes the holy book of the Torah and you heard with your ears the reading of the Tor and here and there you said a few amends and you moved your lips a little bit cuz you did follow a little bit of the prayer you injected your soul with energy instead of swallowing pills that that's have what half the world do well it doesn't matter right now what type of pills but half the world is swallowing pills every day whether it's actual chemicals for anti-depression or whatever it is or people think that if you take vitamins and a pill that that's it that I'm very healthy they drink two bottles of Diet Coke every day but they take their vitamins so the vitamins are worthless vitamins are in fruit and vitamins are in vegetables they're not in a pill I mean yeah I I know doctors and pharmacists they argue with me no no no vitamins is in a in an orange eat the orange don't swallow a pill you want the real stance you go to the original you don't go to something that is processed and I'm not taking away from the power of the vitamin but the point is that for thousands of years people wanted to get the right vitamins they would go to the tree and take a fruit off and not crush it into powder that you don't know what's in it you might think that there's a lot of good things in it but there's not and then psychologically you think you're feeling better probably most of the times that if you would switch it you would not even notice a difference and psychologically you think you're feeling better and they tested that they tested that with many different types of medicines that they put nothing in it has a certain name in English I don't remember the name placeo righto Placebo okay I knew there in English and there's nothing there and they found out that in 50% of the cases people think that that they got cured and they just it's not it's nonsense so unfortunately half the world is popping a pill into their mouth at least once a day even in basic things people have a little bit of a headache Ty I have a little bit of pain here up another tyo so this is the she the LIE of the world that I take something small into my system and maybe makes an effect yeah if I have a headache and I'll take a taleno it will remove the headache but it didn't solve the problem it just numbed the problem it didn't come and solve the problem the inside of me it just numbed the nerve that's it that's what a Tylenol will do so I'm not going to feel the pain and voila magic that's it no more headache really if I have a headache it doesn't mean that I need to pop a pill rather it means that most likely I'm either dehydrated or I was in the sun too much or I was exposed too much to my radiation from my phone or I didn't sleep enough or whatever it is it's causing me to have a headache me taking a pill I'm just numbing the problem so unfortunately we all take a lot of pills and a lot of the pills that we take it's not in that department where other people go they go to The Vitamin Store this looks like such a good business this vitamin store you know and they buy all the vitamins and this vitamin is this this vitamin is like that and we think that the happiness or the energy that I get it comes from the pill it's not the happy happiness and the energy that I get is from my from my soul if I boost my soul with what it needs it will be happy I can be in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt problems from here till Los Angeles and if my soul gets what it needs it will be happy I might have problems it doesn't mean that my soul is going to solve my problems but at least I'm happy and this is the real happiness this is the laughter that you that comes within from the depth of my Nish and that's the laughter that I want to pull out I don't want to be laughing it's very healthy to laugh it's very good to laugh but not from nonsense I want my my soul to be so fulfilled is that the laughter comes within and the motion of the month of ad is this laughter meaning that I can tap into it if there's a certain emo emotion we talked about yesterday it's a certain energy that I can tap into like I compared it yesterday to Black Friday you have 24 hours of a sale if you have your coupon and you apply it then you'll get 90% off but this Black Friday comes once a year and you have to be ready and if I jump on the opportunity then I will get the deal same thing here comes an supicious Day a holiday pu PES kanuka something shabat head of the it's an supicious time that I only need to do is tap into the energy if I tap into the energy using certain tools spiritual tools of course then I'm able to draw some energy into my system so if it's Shabbat then I have to observe the rules of Shabbat I can't drive I can't turn the lights on I have to do kou I have to have meals I there's a lot of rules that that allows me to tap into the energy if you want to compare it into technology look at some of the wires that we use to plug into our machines so if you have a phone most of the phones today it's a one pin ER cord but there are very very different types of electronics that the pins you have two three five 6 eight so for example now we started streaming a lot of our videos so we needed a special system and it has a certain pin that goes into the computer and into the camera for the ones who might be familiar it's called HDMI so it has 16 16 pins to go into the computer now if it's missing one of the pins it's not going to work one of them will break or bend now they're making it that the pins are not too many to to save this headache for whatever reason but I'm not a technical guy I don't know why all the reasons I just see with my own eyes that this particular plug that we bought had 16 pins one is going to be bent or broken the system doesn't work so the same thing with me when I want to tap into a holy day so with Shabbat there's many pins 39 to be exact 39 forbidden labors that I'm not allowed to do because if I will do it I'll break one of the pins then my I the drawing of the energy of Shabbat doesn't come so well for one thing this is called Shabbat to desecrate Shabbat now again like I said yesterday it's not that our sages sat 2,000 years ago in a room and like okay let's see how we're going to make them be annoyed no they saw in their holy level what do I need to do and what do I need to be segregated from so I'm not going to start breaking these pins these channels that's through this channel I'm drawing into my system this energy so really when I want to tap into the energy of Shabbat I have to see what are the rules what am I allowed to do what am I not allowed to do now if I do 50% of it I'm not saying that it's bad but the necess not necessarily the connection is well maybe I'm I'm cutting half of the connection so I'm not drawing the energy of Shabbat and Shabbat has unbelievable energy that's why I said before when somebody will come to the shore he doesn't want to he doesn't even realize that when you walk into the sh 3 hours you just read some text you answered a few amen you you looked at the Torah you did a few actions you walk out you don't realize how your entire week now is different you are operating on a different energy the sad part of is you don't attribute it to the fact that you were in Shabbat 3 hours in the synagogue you attribute it oh the weather's nice Sunday a business deal closed yeah it closed cuz on Shabbat you kept Shabbat you got a little so the business deal closed but we attribute it to everything else but for the fact that I sat 3 hours in a synagogue my psychological Mind Is Telling Me yeah yes you wasted your time you warmed up a chair so the reality is that when I do a Mitzvah I draw in a certain energy into my system that's why Mitzvah in Hebrew the words in Hebrew they have a meaning to it mitvah of course you can translate it as a commandment but Mitzvah comes from the Hebrew word sa is a connection about a very strong connection which means that when I do a mitzvah I create an unbelievable connection a Unity with the master of the universe so now there's a connection starts drawing energy now I'm using the word energy because that's the word we can relate with it's not the biblical or cabalistic term to use rather the word that we use is ham that I am pulling something to me a certain Godly Revelation a certain light God is compared in many times to light not because it's looking like this it's because what does light do it lights up the room if there's not going to be any lights here it's going to be completely dark here if it's going to be dark you can't see anything I will start bumping into things I can't find my little things I'm in darkness I'm limited comes a little switch turning on up light now oh now I see everything I see clear I know where my stuff is the same analogy is that Hashem is compared to light it lights up my reality suddenly I see things how many times you come to a situation and situation is not clear you go on a date I don't know it's my wife it's not my wife she's this she's that she's tall she's short there's no Clarity cuz there's not enough light I go to a business deal I don't know have to do this business deal because I don't know he looks a little bit crooked maybe he not a good decision I'm investing a lot of money what should I do there's no Clarity and in the reality is it in almost in anything that we do we don't have Clarity so we start running to the rabbis Rabbi tell me what should I do like as if the rabbi is like has all the answers some of them maybe do but the point is that I can have the answers why do I need to run and get answers put more light in your life you'll have answers you'll have Clarity it's like a dimmer dim now the lights so you'll see a little bit of Lights you'll still maybe Mo move around like that put a lot of lights everything is clear so you put a lot of light in your life then everything will be clear you go on a date you know that's my wife it's not my wife I come into a business deal I know what to do I don't I'm debating if should I learn law should I learn medicine what should I be I know right away what I need to be I want to buy a house I don't know this the the walls there our entire life is full of uncertainties why not because something wrong with me because there's not enough light to guide me God is the is this light now how do I draw this light to me I have to do a Mitzvah because the Mitzvah is the channel through the light comes from it cannot come any other way that's what I told you a Mitzvah can be translated to commandment but a Mitzvah is also can be translated to to to a connection now I have a connection oh now the information is coming in and we see we can take all the examples from technology because technology came not only to make our life easy but to teach us about Godly Concepts so you see in technology that if I don't have any connection any data I can draw information from you and I can send you information I can have the most fanciest iPhone 7 if it's not connected to the internet it's a sophisticated camera that's what it is I need to make some type of a connection with the other side doesn't matter right now if it's the internet or or or or phone but I have to have some type of a connection same thing here the Mitzvah is my connection to the other side I can only draw this Godly light with a Mitzvah there's no other way of doing it I I can sit and meditate all day long and chant all sorts of sounds and sit in all sorts of weird positions it's not going to do anything people think that they sit for 5 hours like something's going to happen besides a a sore throat it's not going to do anything that's not how you draw energy to you you draw energy to you I said now energy because energy is we we relate to energy something that moves us you you say people have good energy they have bad energy that's a a more uh word worthly way to to describe it I more call it a Godly Revelation that comes into my system so I do that with a Mitzvah so when my life is going a little bit better I don't attribute it to the fact that a week ago I gave somebody charity and I don't attribute it to the fact that I once in a blue moon I put F on and and sudden suddenly something is working out somebody will come and tell you oh you know the business deal closed because you started showing up to the synagogue ah nonsense I'm doing it to to make the rabbi stop bugging me we don't attribute the success to the fact that I actually did a spiritual connection to the bank of energy I mean it's called God but I call it the bank of energy it's the source of energy so if I connect myself to the source of energy then I get I get this energy needless to say things will start falling more into place I get more clarity relationships start working much better because I don't see the person as an enemy I see the person as somebody that helps me you know that most of the problems and marital problems is bad communication and an ego that is out of control because if you're looking at the original couple the first couple Adam and or you know know them as Adam and Eve in the beginning Kosh only created Adam he says who needs this headache now let me just create one the zor says that the male face was here and the female face was here was one body but then sat on a big chair and Hashem brought to him all the animals to start naming them so was a very holy man he would look at the animal and says that's a lion this is a this is a horse of course the words in Hebrew not in English how come cuz he saw The Godly energy that enlivens the animal and he saw the letters the holy letters that enlivens the animal so he says this is AR a lion this is a horse s and everything else not only the animals but got very upset cuz he was like how come everybody has mates all the animals they have a female and a male why come I I don't have one I also want to have a female hasm told him trust me you do not want trust me stay by yourself he's like no no I also want one it's not fair and Hashem is like listen to me I'm telling you you do not want one trust me ad was pretty persistent said okay you asked I'll give you no oh I'll give you one up until today we're paying for that oh that's not fair no we can be the women by the way see you jump right away it's not good to jump the gun we can be like I can take the side of of the women I mean I have a women's call I'm all for the women I can say we is the women and in Hebrew it would be more clear I would say in Hebrew so you would say ah in English I say we so that's a nice try the point is that men don't even know how lucky they are very few know how lucky they are now we hear something that's the reality that's anyways ad requested a wife so hasm said I'll give you a wife and the Tor says it's not good for a man to be by himself I will create for him a helpmate that will go against him he doesn't say I'm going to create for him a wife he doesn't say he says a helpmate that will go against him which doesn't make sense either she's a helpmate or either she goes against him so the famous commentary on the Tora she says if he has the Merit she will be a helpmate she will help him if he doesn't have the Merit she will be n against him what does it mean if he has the Merit if he appreciates her if he sees that in his wife is the mirror that shows him all his faults and he humbles himself and says oh that's what I have to work on thank you for coming into my life then she becomes a helpmate and she helps become make him become much much better but if he has too much of an ego and he says no she's coming to annoy me then she becomes against him so I don't even know how we srack to marriages or we Sidetrack to the fact that we don't attribute success to the fact that I get connected to the master of the universe and I said that because a lot of the problems of marital problems is they don't value what I have that's most of the problems with with with Comm with marital problems no communication and no no value to actually what I have it's very easy to point the finger and say all the bad things that's the easiest thing to do the funniest thing is that the that the period of the dating she's the most beautiful woman in the world she's so handsome and that's when you date he's so great and then after the wedding everything changes for the month of the dating he's a prince he's a genius she's the most beautiful woman in the world look how she waves her hair you know two years later it's like can you stop waving your hair already so up until the wedding everything's perfect after the weding it changes a lack of communication very bad communication and then an ego that is out of control the same way that I don't attribute my success and my happiness to the fact that I connected myself to the master of the universe so I also don't attribute my my my success or my spiritual growth to my spouse so but this is not a class about marital relations it's just an example that I do not really focus on the truth and attribute my my happiness or success to the right place you know once in a blue moon you'll see like a successful businessman that will come up and say like a speech and says I want to thank my wife for supporting me for all these years you know he says once after 10 years and she's like now he's saying that now because he wants to get the claps so the point to take from that is that I do certain actions and I do not attribute the good part to the action that's why I don't see any benefit in the Torah because I don't say oh I put filin on every morning that's why I'm in a good mood I'm in a good mood because the bank didn't call me today three times but the reality is that my happiness which is we're focusing on happiness right now is ATT tribute to the fact that I'm connected to the master of the universe and my soul is Happy n doesn't matter anything else what makes me happy is my soul and the way to make my soul happy is when I connect myself to the bank of energy to the source of information to the master of the universe just that I have some type of a separation why did I attribute that and I said that it's the same thing with marital relations with relationships because my understanding where does it come from it's communication so I gave you the example with the wire the plug that has all the 16 pins if I'm missing one of them there's no communic ation there's no change of data like two computers they talk to each other all day long you have millions of computers in the world talking to each other you're going out to a store with a credit card swipe the credit card instantly the computer where you are is sending a message to the other side of the world to a different computer to ask if there's credit on this piece of plastic and to approve and it goes to the bank to The Institute of the bank it goes through different institutes everything in a split second and up you get the authorization I can be now here in America and charge my Israeli credit card and instantly it all works how computers are talking to each other now they're not talking with words the computer not like hello tell me does aone have money on his credit card it just goes by data and it goes by information and the communication is instant and you're able to reach into different computers and the computers talk to each other behind the scenes millions of them and it's happening simultaneously all day long Millions the problem with me that I don't have good communication why because I break these pins so to say so the communication is not clear and that's i i i sidetracked in regards to to marital relations because the communication is not good cuz I I broke some type of line of communication so I I I say A you hear B yeah but I said a but why you saying me B but I didn't say B I said a and I saw sometime a a a a uh conversation like that but it wasn't in a marital relation it was just H it was funny to see it I'm standing in the street and I see a young boy with a beard and a hat and he's holding fine in his hand and he's stopping a person on the street and he tells him are you Jewish the man tells him I'm not religious the boy says are you Jewish and he tells him I'm not religious and they're going backwards and forth the boy wants to know if he's Jewish to put fing on him he doesn't want to put the fing on he thinks that he has to be religious to put the fing and they're talking to each other zero communication and I'm looking at this back all both sides and I'm like what's going on here he's asking are you Jewish just tell him yes I'm Jewish told them I'm not religious and they're telling you the job there's no communication and most most most relationship there's no Communications you say a the person hears B is arguing you about the B the lack of communication is not because I don't want to communicate either my ego is out of control and I know people do not like hearing that that they have an ego but the reality is that we do have an ego and in most cases is out of control because I think I deserve everything everybody else is wrong I'm the perfect one I'm the smart one I'm right everybody else is wrong the other problem is that that I break these so to say channels of communication so now I don't hear well now when I finally go and do a certain mitzvah I do not attribute the Commandment to the success or in this case my happiness and like I said before I'll repeat it as many times as you need to hear I will only be happy if my soul is happy if my soul is not happy I can have five Ferraris and $5 million in my bank account and everything that I want I will not be happy I will drive with a it doesn't very fast enough the house is not big enough the TV I just spent $10 in it it's not sharp and that's coming from one place that the hint is in this that I told you cuz I said then our mouth is going to be filled with laughter and my my tongue is going to praise praise and thank one of the major reasons why I cannot draw this happiness things don't make me happy because I do not know how to appreciate it when I pray praise hem Reina is to praise hem more is to praise Reina is like more happiness of and and and of out of appreciation my problem is that I don't know how to appreciate what I have so I look at things in the wrong way I do not appreciate the fact yeah I have the to be Jewish and to put F on that's why my soul is a little bit more pumped up and because I did a few good deeds or I followed a few rules a few mitv then now my is like breathing a little bit it's a little bit easy life is a little bit more easy on me and like I said I do not attribute it to the Mitzvah because I have a problem in communication and the problem from the communication can cause many can come from many different places one of them from the fact that I'm not willing to attribute a thanks and appreciation to where it came from we have a serious problem with appreciating and thanking things so hem is going to give me a lot of money I will buy a $10,000 TV and I will complain it's not sharp enough instead of saying wow hem thank you so much for giving me parasa that I can SPO myself with such a beautiful TV we we we we take all the good that we have and We complain Shem is going to give you an unbelievable husband or an unbelievable wife he snores he throws his underwear on the floor she leaves dishes in the sink that's what bothers you the reality is that in every situation there's going to be a little bit of good and a little bit of bad there's no such a thing that's going to be only good there's no such a thing most people they look at the bad and they focus on the bad and they empower the bad they don't look at the good and rise and empower the good and ignore the bad bad is always going to be this is the world of good and bad after Adam and sinned Adam and Eve they fell down from their level and they ate from the Tree of knowledge of course theh kicked them out of ganed so they're not going to eat from the Tree of Life but the tree of knowledge in Hebrew is called but the cabalistic terminology it's called good and bad because what they brought down to this world is a mixture that good and bad is mixed together that's why the entire Torah is about separating from the good and the bad this is the the the main thing of the Torah that's why you see in the Torah you have koser un koser pure inure permitted not permitted that's the Torah separating this I'm allowed to eat this I'm not allowed to eat this I'm allowed to do this I'm not allowed to do this is to good and bad because the bad got mixed into the good with the sin of the tree of knowledge very soon Mas is going to come we're not going to have that anymore CU AEM is going to the power of impurity will be removed so we only going to see the good there not going to be bad anymore how do we see it that right now you'll take an orange it's surrounded with something bad you take the peel off the peel goes to the garbage and you eat the orange which means everything is mixed with is good and bad something's less something's more something it's only bad that's very obvious something it's only good it's not so obvious but the majority is mixed with the good and bad and I have to come and separate the good and the bad the problem with most people is that they get drawn more to focus on the bad and they bring the bad more into effect and instead of focusing on the good empowering and pumping up the good and by default it will overpower the bad the reality is that this world till mhia comes is going to be mixed with good and bad till mashia comes it's going to be bad there's going to be some type of bad things in my business in relationship in everything that I do there's always going to be a little bit of bad the has to come and put some poison in it but I have the choice of focusing on the bad or focusing on the good if I focus on the good then what I do is I empower the good and suddenly The Good overpowers the Bad and I'm able to overlook the the good saying okay it's not so great but okay whatever look at all the good and when a person focuses on the good he pushes away and diminishes the bad and the way to focus on the good is to appreciate the good most of us do not appreciate what we have yes the other day one of our student my students came and she told me you know my husband is so annoying and I was like why is he annoying you he told me today that even though we have a lot a lot of problems I should smile I said your husband is a genius bring him over let him teach here in our Institute but you know we have we we don't have money we could just got kicked out of our house we're not going to have where to live I'm sick my husband's sick this is wrong this is this this is that and my husband is annoying me he's telling me to smile I said he's very smart because who cares that you have problems you still have to smile and she was like I can't smile with all these problems and I told her maybe if you smile then the problems will disappear but I told her you know you look how look how probably annoying you are in the eyes of the kadosh you know how much good is in your life and you don't even appreciate that you come and tell me your husband is annoying you know how many women don't have a husband I told her drive 15 km where we are there's a grave there this grave is called amuka all the single people go there to pour their hearts out to get married this is a very special grave of a very big sadik that all the single people go there and they pray there I thought they just go there for one day people there cry their hearts out they want to find find their other half and you have a husband so you're already much better than tens of thousands of women that are single or men and I told them more than that your husband is a nice guy he's polite he treats you nice he tells you to smile you know many women come to us and tell us my husband beats me up my husband cheats on me excuse me my husband does this my husband does that told her you lucky your husband is nice so already you know you can look at your husband as annoying or you can look at your husband as like he he doesn't hit hit me he treats me nice and I have a husband I told her you know anything you're going to tell me now I'm going to I'll turn it around anything because the problem is that we see something negative in my life so I focus on it and I complain Shem doesn't like people who complain Shem likes people who turn the other way around and says oh I don't have here but I have here a lot and I appreciate what I have and I not only that I appreciate I than thank what I have how many people come to their boss and thank him zero probably maybe one or two actually I didn't count so I'm I'm just saying zero because the reality is that most workers they come to take the check I don't think workers come to their boss and tell them thank you thank you for hiring me I appreciate that you you you're accepting me to your job and that you're helping me have parasa thank you who does that most employees they come and they complain I want a raise I need a parking spot he doesn't appreciate me I give my heart to the business he doesn't appreciate me say thank you that he even hired you he can throw you out and get somebody else like that in most cases I don't think there are many people who walk into the bus once a month thank you I appreciate that you hired me how many people come to to anybody in this situation I'm not talking about running out relationships because husbands and wife usually don't thank each other it's like take it for granted you have to cook for me I don't have to cook for you it doesn't say here cook it didn't come in the resum who who says who made the rule that the wife has to cook to the husband whatever I mean I know men usually men are better Cooks but no offense that's true that's true wait a minute that's true Chef most of them are men I'm not Shalom saying I'm saying not go taking gr I'm just saying in most cases men are very good Cooks the point is we're not going to start fighting who's better Cooks the point is that even if the wife stays at home and she cooks and cleans the husband at least has to come and say thank you thank you for folding my underwear Thank You For Preparing Me the meal to me or for being home or whatever it is the point is that we don't thank so often we don't think we just complain in most cases very few people have the the knowledge of thinking how many kids come to their parents and thank them thank you for you know I live in your home I lived in your home for 20 years kids just take it for granted give me money I need get money for gas I need this I need a new phone I need a new this what look to you like at Le say thank you and very few people I mean kids I'm kids I'm also a kid I have parents B I thank them after I did sh my my my mind got sit well in my brain I started thanking them came to my father and told him thank you for for supporting me for so many years unbelievable you're M like like a sadik you supported me for 22 years it's unheard of I I don't even know how I'm going to repay you ever again you know what I'm going to I'm going to mention your name in my I'm going to read for you I'm going to learn Tor for you you supported me for 22 years my father was like what's this drug that you're taking but that's the reality I'm not talking about the time how many times I apologize for all the trouble they made for them but we don't understand how good it is how what powerful it is to come and thank somebody no offense I'm not saying it to anybody in any bad way but I have this that many people come to ask me questions and they want my advice or they want my anything I'm not pointing at anyone but the majority is that 95% of them never even say thank you okay thank you I mean they don't say thank you they just leave most people they don't thank I mean not that I'm doing it to get a thanks I I answer or I take give my time not I don't need an appreciation but most people they don't appreciate what you're kicking me out I'm sitting here for an hour and a half yeah there's other people too but I have more questions yeah but I give you hour and a half of my time so most people don't even appreciate that very few people come and say thank you thank you so much I appreciate the fact that you gave me some of your time hearing all my my my nonsense and again I'm not saying it in a bad way I'm not expecting a thanks but it's the it's a point it's a concept that that people do so much for us and we don't appreciate it when I don't appreciate it that's what triggers the fact that this line of communication in my life is get Cuts so if there's a a problem in communication then later on I don't attribute the success or the happiness to the right place and one of the components it's not all the components but one of the components that doesn't allow me to have clear communication is the fact that I'm not willing to thank somebody and to appreciate somebody's effort and sometimes in cases like that in certain cases I do not say thanks because I think that person owes me something or that that person has to do it for me nobody has to do anything for you now I'm not talking right now thanking AEM that's a whole different thing that's a whole lecture in itself nobody thanks hem very few people I'm not saying that's not thanking hem that's what they teach third graders if you say sh you're thanking hem you're not say that you're not thanking hem when you're saying sh what you do when you say is you extract The Godly that's in the food that's it it's not saying thank you for the you you are allowing the waste to come out of your body that's what it does based on the teachings of the when I say people think that oh I'm thanking a doesn't need your thank like that what do I do is I I basically dismantle The Godly spark that is hidden in the food and I'm able to release it and later on at the night when I go to sleep I take this Godly spark up to its source now what happens is I have food in my body it has to be waste if I say whatever it is I'm allowing to the dirt the toxins the waste to come out of my body that's why when most people come to me and tell me I have a certain sickness start saying why cuz it allows the toxin to go out and is if you say now you drink water I finished a cup of water I have to say this is there's always a first and a second if it's it's then I say so the same same thing with in the beginning I will say after that I have to say there's always a front braa and an end braa the last braa the last braa is to allow the toxins to go out of my body go to any doctor dietician and it will tell you most of the sicknesses because the toxins are in the body that's why I said before with a headache you take a taleno the tal doesn't do anything there's toxins in the body the blood is toxicated in some type of a way that it causes me a headache or I have some type of toxins in my body it will come out in a rash in our generation you have a rash you go to the doctor it gives you a cream so the cream pushes the r the toxins back into the body that's it it didn't get rid of the toxins I know doctors get very upset at me when I talk about these things but the reality is that they didn't fix the problem the toxins go back into my body now either they'll try to come out from my saliva or my urine or any other way if it doesn't come out any natural way it will start coming up here I get a rash here I'll get a pimple the toxins they need to go out somehow so the allows the toxins to go out that's what it is so anyone who has some type of physical problem start saying very simple the only thing that we don't say that in something that we derive something out of it is if you notice not because it goes through the nose because there's no toxins in the smell if I eat an apple there's a Godly spark that needs to be released out of it but there's waste it has to go out so there's a in smell I only take in there's no toxins so I don't have to say I only say whatever I smell so the thing is that I don't thank Hashem by saying I thank Hashem when I tell him thank you that's it most people don't do that you know when you do it I told you yesterday when a semitrailer is about to hit you and you're like thank you but on a day-to-day base we don't thank Hashem when I get a check a paycheck thank you it worked I worked for a few hours I got a I got a check I mean we don't thank hasem the point is that I'm not talking about thanking Hashem right now we have to thank Hashem one of the points that is making me have such a huge deficiency in my life is that I don't appreciate anything that Hashem does for me and all it takes is a thank you hem is doesn't need too much you know kissing up thank you and with your own words but that's a whole different Thing Once we'll talk about that but I want to more emphasize the fact that I need to thank you and I need to thank you and I think everybody owes me so why would I thank you that's the reality people think you owe me I came to to do something for you you have to thank me no I have to thank you and the more you thank other people it means the more you acknowledge their their importance and the more you attribute to your success or your happiness or to somebody else then you're allowed to have a very good line of communication and whatever you do starts being much more clearer you know that I can guarantee to you that there are very little amount of parents that thank the kids thanks for cleaning the dishes thanks for giving helping me with the with the bags because we think the kid has to is my worker clean the room do the dishes and my kids don't work for me so unfortunately in Our Generations the kids answer back you clean it but that but the reality is that I I I my kids are not my slaves that's first of all second of all you know where I learned the most not from my Rabbi me not any me not from my Rabbi and not from I well I don't go to YouTube to watch videos but I don't the ones I learn the most from is my kids I look at my kids I observe everything that they do and I get all my information from my kids and I attribute that to them and I thank them because kids are real they're no no fake I mean they might be mean to other kids they might lie here and there they might steal here and there but the reality is the kids are pretty on yeah exactly straight to your face but not only that kids really our kids came to educate us I just came to give tools to my kids to prepare them for this horrible world but the kids came to educate me so I don't know many parents that come to thank their kids thank you forget about R thank you for helping in the house or thank you I mean I know we take it for granted what I give you a house I buy your clothes I pay your tuition clean the dishes but no I have to thank them for little things that they do try that to thank your kids more often you'll still get a much better respon from your kids when you thank them for doing little things so the point to take from today because I can go on and on and on and on is that I have to start empowering the power of appreciation in things that are around me and I start appreciating things that are around me then I'm able to create start creating very good communication with the person around me because the person's like hey wait a minute I'm not a specimen I'm a I'm I'm a spouse and I'm not like a like a stranger you know just try to one day thank the person in the convenience store and the person in the bank and the whatever it is the point is that the power of appreciation and thanks allows me to build a very strong communication line to realize that where I'm getting my happiness because the reality is that again we talked about kind of two different things but they're interconnected my happiness can only come from my soul p is next week why did I mention Bim because Pim has the power to arouse this in me I can tap into this Black Friday and get this energy that allows me for the rest of the year to carry this happiness this real happiness because I connect to my n to my soul I feed my I I'll feed my soul when it needs to I'll be flying on cloud n doesn't matter what's my situation in in the world I'll be able to deal with my problems at least with a smile on my face I'm not going to be depressed I'm not going to be taking 2 hours to fall asleep because my mind is occupied with so many problems I'm going to digest my food much better because my stomach is not nervous people don't understand a lot of their problem is coming from the they're so nervous their stomach is nervous they're not digesting things the right way so a lot of things are interconnected but the point is that I need to reach out to my soul when my soul is getting its substance and there's a good line of communication I need to have communication from my soul too my soul is this poor soul stuck in this heavy body and it can't even talk imagine being in this world for 70 years and you can't communicate imagine these poor people that Shalom they become paralyzed of vegetables and they're sitting like this can you imagine what's going on in their mind now a lot of times people say don't worry they don't feel any pain they don't feel any they don't communicate I know of a person who was a vegetable for a couple years and when he woke up he says I was a 100% I I alive I heard everything I knew everything can you imagine being stuck in a body and you can't even go go like this a person can go nuts that's how my soul feels my soul is stuck in my body it can't move can't do anything can't communicate cuz I don't allow it to talk I don't allow my soul to move just imagine what suffering my soul is going through and then I'm wondering why I'm suffering cuz my core me my me is suffering my body is nothing the body is external the body is like a coat it's my soul that's suffering all I need to do is just feed it a little bit try to not fast for two weeks you can't you know we just now this Thursday we're going to fast for 12 hours that's it andever it is not you wake up at 11: you don't have to fast so much once that's what I used to do I would go to sleep 5 minutes before the fast stuff myself up and then wake up at 2 in the afternoon fast day I got to sleep but the reality is try to fast for for a couple hours you start getting all uptight and and stomach aches and we are putting our souls on diets we don't feed our soul and you don't have to do this people look at me and they think this is the menu That's not the menu you have to give something couple mitv every day I mean I'm not telling you just to do a little you have to do everything but you start I mean people look at me and they're say no no no no no no no no no no but this is my choice the point is that I have to give my soul some injection something 5 minutes here five minutes there you don't have to be Super Jew but I have to feed my soul and if I'm not going to feed my soul it's going to be miserable I will be miserable and more than that if I don't have any type of communication with the outside world nothing will work and the communication comes there's different components it's not the only one with appreciating and thanking so B we should learn to thank everybody around us we should learn to thank the K should learn to appreciate everything that hem gives to us we should learn to appreciate what everybody else gives to us to appreciate my wife and my husband and my boss and my kids and my neighbor and the people in my congregation and anyone I need to have appreciation when I learn to appreciate it means in other words I'm humbling myself I'm making myself a little bit more hum humble if I'm not humble I have an ego I'm not going to appreciate what you do for me I'll take it for granted should bless us to have constantly just laughter in our life and happiness in our life and appreciation and love and communication we should carry this laughter till the second that Messiah comes because then we'll have the re the real laughter but still since his wait I don't know why must be a very good reason since m mashiah is stalling his arrival but in the time I have to do initiate something I wish you all great success and always to be just happy and always to be appreciative and always to be successful in everything that you do have a beautiful week and I'll wish you already already a happy porm if you have any questions we'll take a few minutes of questions cuz we got to go but the rest of the questions we can do tonight [Music]