Transcript
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when it comes to raising children
understanding boundaries is crucial
sometimes a child may do something that
deeply angers their parents leaving them
feeling like they're losing control
Rabbi WBY of blessed memory taught a
profound lesson for these moments he
asked when a parent yells screams or
even resorts to hitting their child out
of anger what's the real reason behind
it if you ask a parent why they acted
this way the common response is I'm
disciplining them
but Rabbi WBY urged parents to look
deeper into their hearts is this about
discipline or is it about
retaliation are you punishing your child
because they disobeyed you or are you
venting your frustration because they
didn't listen to you this realization
can be startling imagine an adult on the
street disrespects you would you lash
out physically likely not because
societal Norms hold you back yet with a
child who is vulnerable and dependent it
becomes easier to act impulsively
Rabbi wal emphasized that true
discipline stems from thoughtfulness not
from a place of anger or the need to
release pent up emotions if it were
truly about teaching you would take a
more measured approach speaking calmly
considering the outcomes and focusing on
what would genuinely help the child grow
the vagan also provides guidance on this
he wrote when a parent feels
overwhelming anger toward a child they
must not act on it in that moment
acting in Anger leads to actions devoid
of reason or purpose such actions harm
the child both emotionally and
educationally worse it sets a negative
example when a child sees a parent
responding to anger with yelling or
hitting they learn to mirror that
behavior with their siblings and
eventually with their own children
instead a thoughtful parent models
composure even when addressing serious
matters they stay calm deliberate and
constructive
for instance if a child lies or takes
something that doesn't belong to them
labeling them as a liar or a thief can
be devastating labels stick and a child
might internalize them if my wise and
caring parent says I'm a thief it must
be
true this can discourage the child from
even attempting to change King Solomon
in his wisdom offered a Timeless
principle he wrote do not rebuke a
scoffer lest they hate you rebuke a wise
person and they will love you on the
surface this teaches us who to correct
on a deeper level it teaches us how to
correct don't use words like you're
foolish you're bad or you're hopeless
these words only breed resentment
instead uplift the child say you're wise
capable and wonderful this Behavior
doesn't align with the amazing person
you are such words Inspire love and a
desire to improve by disciplining with
thoughtfulness and care we raise
children who feel valued respected and
eager to grow let us model the patience
and understanding we hope to see in them
shaping a better future for our families
and our communities
[Music]
