The Scharf Family | Moving Story

I remember the night he went to the hospital. Hatzalah came to the house and took him on a wheelchair. I still remember, actually, waving goodbye to him. I remember that on Rosh Hashanah we stayed in Manhattan so we could visit him. And he was actually able to stand up for a few minutes and he danced; he was walking around in circles. He wanted to sing the song of the year: “May this be a year of miracles…” So he sang that and another song. And, I think that was the last time I saw my father. On Rosh Hashanah 5750 – 1989. He passed away on the 8th of Tishrei 5750. I remember the funeral; a lot of parts of the funeral I remember very clearly. I remember saying Kaddish for the first time, right there, at the fresh grave. I shoveled some earth onto the coffin. I said Kaddish… The next thing that I can specifically remember is being in 770. The Rebbe gave me a dollar, and the Rebbe looked at me, and the Rebbe gave a very, very strong smile. You know, one of those smiles; the Rebbe’s whole face lit up. And that was it. As soon as we finished saying the last Kaddish on the first night of Sukkot, the Rebbe turned to the second lectern that they had set up for the Rebbe to face the whole crowd. Everyone surged forward, so we basically got pushed. All of a sudden, we noticed a little, small path from the steps of the Rebbe’s platform to where I was standing. I didn't see the exchange because I was behind all the tall people, but the Rebbe, basically, wanted us to come. So we walked, and we were just told to stand right next to the Rebbe’s lectern. The whole crowd was singing “Vesamachta” and it was very loud singing. We came right up close to the Rebbe’s feet and the Rebbe looked at us. The Rebbe gave us strong encouragement. And, at that point, like, in one second, that’s when everything changed. The Rebbe is taking me in; I’m with the Rebbe… And then the Rebbe walked to the steps to go down. The Rebbe turned around and gave another encouragement. Then he went upstairs. And that’s it: From then, we were always near the Rebbe. “My parents have departed, but Hashem gathers me in” – it was at that moment. The Rebbe just took us in. Suddenly, we were there for prayers from the beginning to the end. Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot – we were there for hours. The Rebbe could hold farbrengens for a long time; the Rebbe has a very hard schedule, especially on the holidays. We were there. The Rebbe encouraged us; the Rebbe encouraged the singing to us. The Rebbe was infusing us with joy. Just pure joy. One of the most constant interactions the Rebbe had with us was the Rebbe showing us to say “Amen” and to respond to Kaddish. The Rebbe would, many times, sometimes in an exaggerated form, the Rebbe would mouth the words: “Amen, yehei shmei rabba…” And the Rebbe made it so clear to us that it’s very important that we should say “Amen, yehei shmei rabba…” It became extra important for us to always say Amen very loud, because that’s what the Rebbe is teaching us. Until this very day, answering “Amen, yehei shmei rabba…” is such an important thing for me, because this is something that the Rebbe himself taught me, so many times. The Rebbe taught us things that really a father is meant to teach… We were sitting alone in Shul. No one was telling us what to do; no one was telling us to be quiet; no one was telling us, “Now it’s time to answer ‘Amen.’” So the Rebbe himself took this initiative, and taught us these things. I remember a very sweet and warm memory. My younger brother, Sholom’ke, he’s three years younger than me – a little over three years; he was really very young. So I was, like, always taking care of him, so to speak, in those years. In 770, I would show him where to pray, I would talk with him… So I remember, they once took out the Torah on Shabbos before the Torah reading; they took out the Torah and the cantor started saying “Shema – Hear, O Israel: God is our Lord, God is one.” We had one prayer book; we were sharing a prayer book, and I was pointing with Sholom’ke, my younger brother. I was showing him how to respond; I was pointing: “Shema – Hear, O Israel: God is our Lord, God is one.” And then the cantor recited the final verse and he finished. And I looked up, and I have this memory of the Rebbe just like, looking at us, so… He was staring at us. The Rebbe was watching this whole episode. I wasn’t aware of it as it was happening, but I looked up and I saw the Rebbe was looking. There was so much love in the Rebbe’s eyes, so much pride. The Rebbe was so approving of it, so attached to what just happened… It was a Sunday after school, towards evening – the Rebbe was towards the end of giving out dollars, and we weren’t going to go for dollars, but me and my brother Shmuel Chaim decided we were going to go get a dollar. My mother said fine. My mother wasn’t going to get a dollar, so she waited outside with my sister and my youngest brother, Sholom’ke. Shmuel Chaim gets a dollar, the Rebbe gives me a dollar, I start walking away, and the Rebbe calls me back. And the Rebbe asks, in English, the Rebbe asked me: “Where is your sister?” Where is your sister? As I was starting to tell the Rebbe, I trying to figure out how exactly I would talk to the Rebbe. So I was turning around, you know, and for whatever reason, my mother, my sister and my brother decided to come get a dollar. And they were coming in from that, from the door on the other side. So I just said, “Oh, they’re there.” She is, she is… She’s there! The message I took from that is that I have to be mindful of my sister. She didn’t have a father, so sometimes, you know, she needed, I guess, a brother to look after her… Sholom’ke turned three on the 14th of Cheshvan 5750 – 1989. So my mother wanted very much that the Rebbe should do the first cut of his hair. So we went by dollars and my mother was holding my brother, Sholom’ke. And she had scissors prepared and she pulled out her scissors. The Rebbe turned to Rabbi Leibel Groner and he pulled out a pair of scissors, and the Rebbe used his own scissors. We were drowned in the idea that the Rebbe already had scissors prepared. Good tidings. May you have lots of Chasidic Nachas – from all your children. Amen. The Rebbe obviously knew about the haircutting. The Rebbe thought about it before. The Rebbe ensured that he wanted to – not that we were requesting – he wanted to cut the hair of Sholomke. That was the Rebbe drawing us in. It was these kinds of things that gave us that message: “I’m involved, I’m in tune with your family, I notice when you’re here, when you’re not here. Like, “I'm happy that you’re here.” The Rebbe provided us with emotional Health, an emotional state of mind, a feeling of validation, a feeling of belonging, a feeling that every human being should feel, that we might have not had from another source. When a person is in the rut, the Rebbe picks you up. The Rebbe is looking at you, he’s paying attention to you and is finding a way to lift you up and elevate you. May Moshiach be revealed now! Happy birthday! May Moshiach be revealed now! Amen! Blessings and success.