The Rabbi That Goes Viral

Welcome to the Clappy and Frank Show, episode number 14. This is a very special episode. 14 is Yad. The number Yad, the strong arm, the Yad Kazaka, the show is getting stronger and better by the week. Happy Kaneka. Today is the second day of Kaneka. And although Kaneka is the happiest special time of the year for children, Khaneka sadly >> and adults >> and adults sadly started off very sad this year. The first place to usher in Kaneka in Australia started off with a terrible terrible horrific tragedy. the uh Bandai beach tragedy where a friend of Wabavich Kabad Shri, friend of the whole world, Rabbi Schwener, and a few other Kabad rabbis were murdered, brutally murdered, gunned down, and many of the people in the community were killed in the most barbaric, horrific attack perpetrated by Islamic jihad. They should all be wiped out soonly and speedily in our days, and we should celebrate miracles. Today we have on a very special guest, Rabbi Zman Risen, a Kabad representative, famous Shri Sia sensation, viral many, many, many times, who's to Flapush for about 25 years. And on top of that, he's the rabbi in the Bethl congregation. The Bethl congregation in Flapush, where he's the rabbi, prestigious rabbi, everybody loves him, very popular. And his wife is from Sydney, Australia. and the family goes back to Australia about a hundred years. So, Rabbi Drizzen, welcome to the show. >> Thank you. >> Nice to be here. >> And as representing the entire Kabad world of hundreds of thousands of Jews around the world, the first to be on our show after the event, tell us your thoughts. Raw thoughts. >> Raw thoughts. You know, Hashem's ways are are very hidden. He's uh he's infinite and his calculations are in an infinite mind. So when your mind is infinite, there's no way even AI is going to grasp the end of something infinite. AI also has its limits. So um we're never going to understand why a father who is preserving a nation for thousands of years despite all this type of stuff by a father with such love preserving a nation so lovingly which only love could could preserve us so many thousands of years. as you see will never understand why he could do such a thing. So the the the immediate approach is and you're supposed to you know shut up and shut up your mind and not question accept it and continue loving continue loving the Jewish people and continue loving the Torah and continue loving Hashem. That's the real real Aida. Now Mishi was on the phone yesterday. I'm in the car with him. I hang out with Mishi a lot. We do a lot of business together and Bishi was on the phone with his RV when I got into the car and he asked his RV, tell me rabbi, we know the garra talks about thousands of years ago that the garra says it >> great rabbi >> the people that are doing the dwell of hashem and you're doing a mitzvah like if you're driving on the highway to do a mitzvah usually you're not you're not supposed to get into a car accident or get a speeding ticket. I'm not saying to drive 130 mph over here. Every single person at the event was mitzvah. They were there for the mitzvah of the Torah says the way you commemorate is on the streets which is very controversy because when the reb started calling for large mineral writings around the world like all these were saying no we do it quietly which is so funny it's amiratis because the garra says we do the outside. So these people all came to spread the word of Hashem, to spread the miracles and all the rabbis that were there, the rabbi that was one of the rabbis that were killed by Schwener a few minutes before that. There's pictures of him putting on fil. So just people are turning to rabbis. I'm putting you on the spot. The garra says and over here they were in middle of a mitzvah and they were killed. So I understand we're supposed to take Hashem's way, but on a on a just on a superficial a basic level, could you explain that? Well, first of all, the gamus has a story of one of the the greatest who became not because he saw somebody doing the mitzvah of and he died while he's doing it. And the reward for the mitz and the is to have so whoever's questioning it, it's it's it's it's a big question. Um, but at the same time that you don't have a clear answer. I don't have a clear answer. It doesn't diminish the fact that when you do a smitzer protects you. It's like a metal detector in the airport. You know when you hear a plane was hijacked, heaven forbid or it blew up and protect us. So you don't say, "Hey, where was the metal detector for me?" You say that, but you'll still go into a metal detector on your next trip. So when you perform a mitzah, it definitely adds a level of protection. Sometimes there's a decree again from an infinite mind who's infinitely kind, which begs the question how it works, but since it's from an infinite mind, you know, it's like you'll never figure out the calculation. You had a public Monero wedding last night outside your congregation, correct? >> Sunday night. H >> how many people were there? >> Um probably 70 people. >> Were you scared? >> Uh in the during the during the day, I got a little worried. So I started to scramble for security. So um by the end, you know, interesting interesting thing happens. It's interesting you asked this because somebody I know who I know does not take these tragedies well. He he calls me every time there's a piece piece of news and I didn't have patience to answer him because I was busy preparing for the narrow lighting and I figured you know what this is when he needs me. I don't care what a rush I'm in. He's a firm guy living in Flatbush 50 years old or whatever married with a kid and I said I got to answer this phone call. He's not a wealthy guy. >> He brings you drama. He gets >> he's very dramatic. He's he's a zkite but like come on. It's not my first rodeo with him. And I said, I have to find time. And this is after I gave up on security because the regular security of the shaw, which we do have every single Shabas, we have hired security. Who pays the shaw? The shaw pays. It's a very special board over there. Very great people. Bethl Jewish Center, Avenue T and Homerest. It's by East 12 near Coney Island Avenue on the corner of Avenue T. So every shop is there's armed security professional former police and um they couldn't get a hold of their regular people because the whole thing was short notice between when it happened. It happened the first night of Kaneka in Sydney and here we are making an event the first night of Kaneka in New York. So we didn't have a lot of time. So I answered this fellow on the phone and first thing is he starts just crying like a baby. I don't mean like a baby. I mean to say he was crying very hard um justifi just justifiably. And when he when he finished crying, I said I I just calmed him down. And suddenly a few minutes in, he's like, "Do you need security?" >> Meanwhile, I'm running around the whole morning. I was like, "I actually do." He says, "I know a detective in the precinct here. Give me I'll be taking care of it." And before you know, we had a full of police van with sirens on. Everybody felt better. It was a freezing night. It was a very big crowd considering >> 12 12 degrees if I remember. >> Freezing night. And considering we were shocked at what a big crowd there was considering what just happened and the weather >> what's it like as a moving from an independent rabbi as a moving into a congregational rabbi position? How is that transitioning do for you? Um it it it's it's like for me it was being just an outreach yid just standing on the corners which I still do. I still put on fillin. I walked with my fillin a few days ago. >> I I have to go to the store a few days ago. I was carrying my fillin and yeah when when the weather is good but going from there it was not structured for me. There's a lot of have a very structured community. I'm you know I'm in flatbush. you know, they don't need my mikvah and they don't need me to build a new shaw and they don't need me to build a new school or preschool. So, what is my job? Excuse me. So, my job is just to be there for yidden. So, that is my job and it still is my job and um at at the same time it wasn't structured. So, they added a level of of you know it should be structured meaning there's a schedule and every shabas have to show up at he just left his job. It's very good to have structure because then you could pursue all those bigger ideas you have >> which >> within a framework >> within a framework meaning you're within a responsible lifestyle you know where you're showing up somewhere and you're you're providing a service or a benefit to a community on a regular basis then you could go and do all your side hustles. What would you recommend if a kabad rabbi gets offered a job position in a structured like you know a typ with the board or you give them some tips you just >> a pulpit rabbi >> pulpit rabbi you used to be running around fill and suddenly you have to abort you people to answer to what's that experience like for you >> it's very healthy for a lot of the unstructured rabbis because because you know there's something called the and labavich has that that superpower of you know pushing pushing the envelope, breaking the boundaries, saying what's not usually said that's more honest and more em. And sometimes you're so like on that end of the spectrum in your style, you're sort of removed from certain people, they cannot they cannot handle you. So having this opportunity, it adds an element where you could bring down a lot of they tell you your ideas, your belief in Hashem that's firm is based belief that Hashem is infinite. Like I said, is infinite. You could bring those ideas down. You could trickle them down to regular people. Just regular people in a way that they could handle it because of your your style now. Your new style, your structured style. It has a tremendous benefit. >> How's your new found celebrity status in social media? >> You know, it's funny. When I tried to do it myself, Mishi, it didn't work. You know, when I took videos of myself here and there, it wasn't uh it didn't work. When I started to focus not on being a celebrity, that's suddenly when this story happened just two nights ago at the Mona Lighting. >> Your first viral video was about a few months ago, right? >> That was with you again. It was you, your channel, you prompting me, then I could focus on what I'm asem good at, my capabilities. When I have someone doing all that, I mean, what happened now Sunday night was amazing. I I want to just go back a step but she always says I go back to the history of it. >> The famous Drizzen family. It's one of the most popular Kabad families in the world today. >> We're not going to go there. >> You your father was a businessman. Your father was a dri correct. Your sister the famous drizzen cats in Manhattan. >> Great. >> Great. Yeah. Trying to get her on the show. It's just whatever. It's not happening. She's not. She's playing very hard to get. >> Make a long story short. Your grandparents were mister the family going in Russia for people etc etc. You grew up in Crown Heights in you. You learned a lot. You're with it. You're on the ball. You married another popular family. You said >> from Australia talking about Australia. >> Where you going with it? >> Where I'm going with this is that you grew up. You're going to be a soldier of you're going to be a soldier. You're moving out on guys moving to India, guys moving to Australia, South Africa. How did you decide that you're going to move on? 10 to 20 minutes away from Crown Heights by car if there's no traffic. How explain me the rundown. You called Americas and said, "I want to go on." No, like I just drive down Coney Island for 10 minutes. >> I'm just curious how people end up in their >> sister also was Manhattan within 20 minutes. I guess >> Manhattan probably has a lore for all the money and big buildings in Wall Street on Wall Street where all the money is. You know, >> it's a good question and um I'll answer you. First of all, I'll answer you ideologically and then technically how it happened. Okay, you ask me how how I ended up in Flat and how and why. Um ideologically meaning from my perspective why I was pursuing that was because my father was not too well. I didn't want to go far away from him. Yeah. And me personally, the ms that have that live where there's no food and no I can't handle that. That level of mish people don't realize what they go through raising their own kids going out with a with a new wife to such areas it's tremendous. I I don't know if I was ready for that. Between that and my f wanting to be in proximity to my father I wanted to be local. So um that's number one. Now technically where am I going to find something local? So, so I actually I went to New Jersey. I met a Shalik. Yeah. And uh it was considered I went back and forth. It never panned out. Great over there. Very very good kid. He really meant it. He tried and uh then I landed up I landed back searching but was very limited what you could find. You mentioned that I married a nice family. When you marry a nice family, you know, if there are some connections there, utilize it. and not being evil but utilizing connections Hashem gave you. Turns out that my wife's grandfather was the head of >> what's the name Goldman? >> He was on the board of T. He was the head of T. >> He was not the head but he was the treasure of T. He was very important. >> He said the head of it could be a in five minutes. >> I forget about the word head. He was from the heads of and uh you're right and he he was a very like trusted him with signing the checks. He was he was I spent time with him. He was like a person like a real and um and he told me that there's there's a a very benevolent heart with a big heart very close to him till today actually and uh you know he he could support you a little bit in the beginning and and and he actually supported me for more than the training. So I ended up meeting and I ended up getting the official mom's right over here. >> So you your grandfather was influential that you should move to Flapush. What year? He sort of he sort of he wasn't even so influential. What year is not just 20 years ago? >> 20 years ago to move to Flappish like live here not live in Crown Heights. Live in reside in Flatbush. >> I moved here from the beginning. >> You moved here as the official which part of Flapish? >> It's interesting. I moved to Avenue J and I moved to East 14th Street and I lived there for for a long time. It was renting house. Uh 20 years later, I'm still on East 14th Street in a house that I bought just some blocks down close to the King's Highway. Beautiful. It's all in Shamim. >> Spoke about 14 Yad. Right. Right. >> East 14th Street is my personal house. >> And I want to point out to you a very interesting thing. How do you say a friend in Lashes? I was thinking of saying the >> or Yadid, right? >> The reason it says far and why it's called Yid is because Yad. So, what's it like being a rabbi in a strongly Syrian Jewish community? They're very insular people. They have their own rabbis. How How do you deal with them, interact with them? What were your wins and losses? When I see Spartic Jews, I I I smile to them the way their Kabad rabbi smile to them in Hong Kong and I say, "Come in." And and they love it. Say, "You're a kabad rabbi of the shaw." So, they feel welcome. They came intimidated. When you came in the you were you were dinging and working out of a de mo sh. >> I was I was diving and working out of sh which is still going on now. They actually they're actually uh almost done with a new shaw there now. They're actually looking for someone to dedicate the building for not a tremendous amount of money to have the official name. So if anybody wants to contact me through them I'll >> You're fundraising money for a competition. >> Exactly. because I don't look at it like a competition. All we're spreading the greater good and forid >> on social media did really well covering some really great topics. So if you don't mind, we dive into a few great ones. Number one from the top, could you get we get your opinion currently on today's situation? >> His sister won't come on to talk about so we're going to have to get it from you. >> Did really well on my social. I was shocked. I just walked around. >> Are you a shakan? >> I'm not aim. I but it bothers me that I don't find more time for it because I made a few when I see you know I have a special place in my heart for older singles. It's like I don't even know how to swallow it. >> I have friends in my grade that are still single 40 years old. >> My my hope is that they don't take it to heart as much as I think they are. That's my hope that maybe I'm more nervous about it than they are. Maybe. Um I want to say something I said in my show that was actually I felt it was very deep. And I'm again I'm saying this for the people that feel that they're at the end of the line and that there isn't much hope. So of course that's not the Jewish way. I know it's painful but it's people who are they passed that stage and not dating much. They sort of gave up. What's their value in Yiddish kite? It's a very important question. There's a lot of singles now. What's their exist existential value? What's their validation? Is it true be I'm just a lot of singles once they get to certain ages they're not married they like they go off to D there's a very high percentage >> I don't know um I hope not and I'll I'll tell you something that I I feel is a constellation and it's Emis and actually actually a Syrian guy Raymond comes to our every Friday night religiously lives nearby married guy he loves being by us even though it's an you know I'm ra they feel comfortable Everybody's welcome. So he actually pointed this out to me after I said a speech. It says in here are the offspring of what should it say now if you writing the here's the offspring of what would you write after names. It doesn't do that was a wholesome in his generations. Tell me come on. So Rashi has this question and Rashi answers because till the same offspring of it had are his good deeds. So that's why after saying these are his offspring it says he was what does it mean that his offspring is is his? The answer is that your off that your my you do in this world to your block to your home to your cousins to your relatives to your uh to your community they they leave you a legacy you know if if you're a wealthy person you built the sh people are going to remember you for for two three generations. So someone pointed out to me this person, this smart guy, he says, "And grandchildren, it it also only lasts for two, three generations. Who knows who has a good relationship with their great-grandfather?" So if you're single and meanwhile you don't have children, remember real acts of that you're doing for people, it's going to literally live as long as someone's kids and people are going to remember you through it. It's very important. It's not just if you have money. If you could provide a service to community, if you're if you're if you're medical prof as far as the question itself, Mishi, I was hoping you would forget. Um there's a having said what I said, how much how much it pains me and I try to help as much as possible. Um there's a there's a a lot of the singles today are just making wrong decisions. Very unfortunate of who they want to meet and why they right away, you know, say this is not for me. There's a lot to talk about that and it's it's not their fault. They didn't get any coaching, any guidance and it's a very big world now of males and females and there's a lot of exposure online. So there's a lot of warped uh approaches of normal singles towards this issue. So, what's the normal way to go about it? >> Okay, so you know, I had a I had a bucker of 31 go out two weeks ago. His is uh he went out three times. It didn't work. He's a great guy. Um and um he only went out three times because I coached him. >> I don't have time for this. I'll be very honest with you, but I have to find time for it. And I'll always try. But you don't have to be a shot today. You know, you know, you know a bucker. You know, >> so you say they went the what's the wrong approach or the right approach? You're implying They'll say no to sec first or second date based on on on on reasons that would never fly 50 years ago which resulted in a lot of good marriages. You know you don't have the experience of marriage till you're married and it's there's a lot of coaching needed like no don't worry about that it's okay meet meet him or her again it goes on both sides of the a lot of coaching that's needed my sister actually coaches very very well. So you're saying after every date there should be some encouragement to try again regardless there's no hope and no shot or is that what you're implying I once had a buck and a girl where they wanted to break the dating of three four dates or or almost break it like they were really question because he wore a sweater and and it was very oldfashioned and reflected a very old-fashioned person or something what goes on in people's minds today. Luckily, the, you know, the other side had supportive, healthy parents. >> I'm out. >> I should have not worn a sweater today. >> I wear sweater. I wear sweaters. Actually, my wife doesn't like it. So, that's why I'm not wearing one now. Um, I understand there's a concept. >> I'm wearing a sweater cuz they told me why. >> There's a there's a concept like that. You agree? Old 50 60-y old. Yeah. The 70-y old and he's wearing a sweater. You know, there's nothing wrong. >> They end up getting married after that. >> Yeah. >> But they did. Sweater was not the >> Yeah. I mean, but I had to but but I had to I had to deal with it. I had to deal with it. And that's just an example. There's hundreds of examples. There's there's people brushing off ideas and they're single. It's very tragic. >> Rich families only rich families or poor people could also marry rich families. What's your opinion of that transaction? >> I I I don't think rich families should only help a poor family. Marry a poor boy or girl and give him a good life. >> Hopefully a good life. the dynamics are off. If if one family is wealthy, the other one's poor and you think they have too much control and down the road could be trouble. >> Sometimes sometimes there's there there are issues like that, but usually you know you respect money because money could provide you a lot of in marriage. I read I read in in the papers that the shamist that come to all the shabas I read a story a few weeks ago >> that was I guess he was in the par and at the same time came to the was came to and he said that he's poor poor like a church mouse and he has three daughters that are getting older and he doesn't have any money in those days you needed cast money to support the if you had daughters they'll support the husbands and learning etc whatever so said solve your problem. You're poor. I'll let you marry. I'll let your daughter marry my son. So that's one solved. And then the other two daughters, they're married into a hot family. They'll have an easy time with. So what you just said as like a kind of joke. We mamish saw it by the house. But I think a lot of rich people today, they would be very hesitant to make a with like a poor family. They're like, "Oh, we we have a lot of money. Like we worked hard for our money. Why are we going to marry somebody?" I think that there's a lot of I saw a family in Crown Heights, two families in Crown Heights. Do not mention names. I don't want this show to be cancel culture, but they literally they're rich and every they make it's somebody 20 times richer than them. And then I see other families that don't only marry rich families. I I really think that besides the Dar Sharm test, people literally look for bank statements to see how wealthy the family is. And it's it's disgusting. I'm saying >> by disgusting value. >> But let me say something. Let me say something already. I ate enough enemies. We'll make some more enemies. If if every Tom, Dick, and Harry is able to get married 23, 24, 25. If girls that are 39 years old, like there wasn't the like like every guy was the wrong guy or the parents are really standing in the way and ruining it. I think there's some parents out there that don't want their kids to get married. So, every resume is an issue or the daughter has commitment issues and instead of them getting her the help, they like feed into it. Maybe they enjoy the kids. WHY IS THERE LIKE out of 200 girls in Brifka every year, 20 years later, there's the nine girls that are still single? Like all punk them. >> Um the right the last two things are unfortunately true. Both that the kids themselves, I'm calling them kids, the children themselves have issues and that a lot of times the parents support them with the issues instead of stopping them. That's I don't know about the fact that rich are only marrying rich. I think you have a lot of rich people. Dafka want to marry someone not rich. So he or she who's rich is the boss in the house. So it works a nice dynamic duo that that flows. Everybody knows where where the money is and where the respect comes from. So I you've seen you've seen and I think people who are wealthy will will not look at money. Maybe they'll look at no money like I'm saying but um yeah. >> Um >> interesting. We from marriage. Let's move over to Sha Zalman. Could you give us some uh Sha Bayas advice? >> Shay's advice. Um that's >> I'm hitting these top so well on my Instagram. I want to >> it's similar to how they brush offim and how divorces are happening today for for for most foolish reasons. You know there was a yid his name was a brook. You remember him? He used to come to all of us home. >> He wasn't short. No >> brooke. We waited till the blood exactly and he passed away during CO. So very wise. He told me that he >> which hospital was he in? He told me that he he told me this himself. He told me that he knew two couples a few years apart and one of them came to him that they're getting divorced and I think they got divorced and when he when he interviewed them I don't know why they came to him. He didn't tell me. Looks like he knew them both. It turns out these two couples were friends and the the one who got divorced, the lady, she complained that her friend's husband opens opens the door for her and you know just more respectful to her like he's he's more present for her and her husband is a is a klux. He's a he's a schluck. He's not a mench. So he said, I turned to to this to this woman, well-intentioned woman. I said, do you realize he's four years ahead of you in marriage? In four years from now, if you would have given it a chance, your husband is going to be there. He's going to learn how to tailor himself towards your needs and what's important for you and what's not. You're going to it's like a he told me that's a typical example of why marriages are falling apart. There give give the couple a chance to to learn each other, to respect each other. Don't make quick decisions. You know, divorces in the beginning, in the first 10 years of marriage are very scary because a lot of times they're they're impulses and things really really you know the Reb once said that he saw real bonding between I think the said seven years and up between a husband and a wife. If you if you make any drastic decisions about your wife or husband until seven years, you might be tearing with your hands the biggest brahashem ever gave you because you you know the woman eventually and the husband eventually learn how to love each other and how to be there for each other in the right way and how to how to tolerate each other and and it turns into respect and it turns into real genuine love. >> So you give us some tips on for bias assuming that you're you're Sean. >> Okay. So, one one Shaol bias tip is this is very important, okay? >> And it ties into Sydney and I was thinking about it today when when you told me which I asked you, we're not prepared for the you went over to me today to to have this conversation. >> We've been dating a while back. >> We've been dating. That's true. But I I had to figure out driving. >> We do a trick. We tell people we warm them up. We warm them up to the idea of coming on the podcast, but we know they won't sleep for a week before. So, we book a studio and then the morning off, we stop them. I w I wasn't even warmed up over here. As he's saying, he's he's he's broached this subject over the last year, half a year. I didn't expect Mishi to say, "Are you available now?" And I I I you know, I feel indebted to my I He's one of the social media people that I know. Uh Clappy, you're like that too. I'm getting to know he's he's a deeply kind person. When I was one one of the exposi is well is good-hearted in real life. He's not just a a social media when I had my travel agency. Zman was kind enough to introduce me >> to some great Syrian clients. >> Yeah. >> And other people. >> Yeah. >> Who I made a lot of friends from. >> I saw Zman in 770. He's going to be embarrassed and blush multiple times taking hundreds of dollars and stuffing it into people's pockets like people that you know have no pronounc and he didn't know that I was watching it and I caught him in the act multiple times. >> So he is a drizzheartedness. It's all pours off their face. Rabbi Heler one time said I heard Rabbi Heler say I didn't hear it but he tells it to young couples that the biggest mistake young couples do is they get married ends and they start having Shabas meals with other young couples and then the wives and the husbands see how other couples treat each other and they say I don't get treated that way and it's it's downhill from there. So in your many many years serving as a RV, do you see that? Is that a real do you see it in your own? >> Very very very unhealthy when you're building a foundation to tamper with it. Foundations have to be solid concrete. That's how you build a building. You can't play around with foundations. Later on, you could change windows, repaint everything above the foundation. If you don't have your seven years of building your relationship in a healthy way without being exposed to other people that might draw you and might make you compare, you didn't give you're just not fair. You're unfair to yourself and to your wife or to your husband. >> Oh, no tips how to deal with in-laws. >> We didn't finish the tips of the [ __ ] >> Oh, I'm sorry. >> Unless you want to hear the in-laws first. >> No, no. What's here? What's here? Or in-laws? >> No, no. Go back to the stick. So I was thinking when I when I was driving here short notice about Shan Bice and it pertains to as it pertains also to Sydney since you mentioned it um Rab Manis Freedman. Yeah he's he's actually doing a whole fundraiser now right online. It's good to know >> who's not making a fundraiser. >> No but yeah but it shows you how little money >> our competitions all do fundraisers. I think we should end the year campaign. >> But it shows you how how how little money um um influencers can make. Yeah. >> He's he made a goal of just they made a goal of 5,000 to better monetize it. I'm just telling you he made a goal of five 5,000 donors cuz he has millions of views. >> He's spreading Gadusha his whole life positivity gadia and they got a thousand something or maybe not 2,000 donors barely squeezing out, you know, the a quarter of the goal. >> We got to help him. >> Absolutely. I donated something, but I'm just saying that um when I mentioned it to somebody, so someone told me this there's two types of influencers. There's the controversial ones who are posting things that are not okay and they're into money from day one. And a Yakim was never into money. Even before his whole his whole YouTube, he was always there to teach Tida and translate Fbrangian. So, you know, he says something about marriage. He says like this that a boy and a girl fall in love and it's phenomenal. They just love their company. They're each other's company and they date and they hang out and they watch movies. He's talking to the broader world. And then they make a decision. >> Bobers do not watch movies. Disclaimer. >> And then and he says, "And then they decide they're getting married." He said, "Everything makes sense. How did marriage come into the picture?" He says, "I don't understand. He He's He's great. He's fun. He's providing. He's taking you out. He's spending time. He's going. He's traveling to Italy with you. Who needs marriage? I think the example he uses is I love you, you love me, so let's go ride a horse. He's mh you're going to ruin it with Why are you moving in? Everything's perfect. So he says you don't get married because you fell in love. You you get married because you believe in the foundation. You fell in love. He says not with other person. You fell in love with the foundation of marriage with the idea of marriage. That's why you get married for falling in love with marriage. What's marriage? He believed that this person is actually like the Reb said, it's one that got created in heaven and then it split. One landed in in Australia, in Israel, in Montreal, in Crown Heights, on another block and then one landed in New York City and then these two souls, these two people meet together and it gets reunited again. So you believe that your spouse, husband or wife, whoever you are, is pushed a half of you. Now you love them because of that. You love someone who's so so connected to you, just like you love a father. You don't only love a father because of what he provides for you, because of the toys he buys you, or because he took you to Florida if he's more well to do on the mid- winter vacation. You love a father. You find you find this out when you're older just because he's so so deeply connected with you. That's why you love your wife or your husband. They're so deeply connected with you. Now, this this also pertains to what happened in Sydney. You know, yen tend to love Hashem for transactional purposes. You know, it's a give and take relationship. You know, Hashem provided me such and he does such an unbelievable life he provides for us. Look at Yidden now comp look at Yidden now comparison to many years ago in Russia. He provides so much health and so much nas and so much money. Look at the look at the Jewish community. We're a role model. That's a great reason to love God. You supposed to you're supposed to thank Hashem day and night. But at the same time, that's when you get older, you find out you love Hashem is much deeper than that. You love him because he's so so part of you. Shalom bias. Yeah. Is not only because the husband is providing or because the the wife is cooking and taking care of the kids. Sha bias is because they're part of you. And if you know that Yeah. you're not running to you're not running anywhere. You want to stay home and be home as much as possible cuz you're being home with something that's so so part of you. People have that Toyota perspective. You can have tremendous bias and then you learn how to just tolerate and and be respectful because you want to maintain the closeness with someone who's also part of you. Don big personality like you. How do you get along with in-laws or Australia is far enough and very good. You answered your question. I I set it's set up in the most safe way possible. If you think about it, that's as far as you could go on planet Earth. Um >> they tried that with England, but then they almost >> they moved here. My in-laws moved here. They moved the block up two two three blocks from me. I had them in England for so many years and now we have them down the block. Baram we get along perfectly fine. >> You know what I think I think if you know that someone who's so so part of you which is your wife or husband. Yeah. Came to the world through those two people. So the reb once told you you'll respect your father-in-law like a father. So you'll get along with your in-laws unless you know you have difficult people. So sometimes the way to get along with them is by avoiding them as much as you can and just being there when it's not confrontational and when it's positive. It's a story of it's social skills across the board. It's also with in-laws. It's sometimes there's there are issues and people are trying to hurt you. You know, consult a professional. >> Just a disclaimer, a few episodes ago, we had on somebody from England. We were talking about Kabad in England over the last hundred years. And I made a mistake. I said that my in-laws came from through and they came close to kabad through kabad in England but they were always from so I don't want the great grandchildren to suffer my in-laws were always from mitzvah disclaimer >> yeah how we raise uh good kids >> someone told me that today clappy yeah you don't have to worry about that stuff as long as you have a lot of money the ga is going to come running for you could be a you could be a you know cyan before and I'm before cyan you're saying if the new currency in wab is just a lot of cash listen it's it's a joke but you know at the end of the day people want um a mentally healthy uh spouse for their children and um it's very important look out for mental health and don't be afraid if someone you know if someone needed some help to to make sure that they're all with all their faculties and they're functioning perfectly. Sometimes it's better than the unknown. So, you have to be wise about it. There's a new there's a new phenomenon. Maybe it was always, but I'm seeing it a lot. You have families. It's normal. You have families, one sibling is worth a billion dollars. One sibling is in section 8 on food stamps. One sibling is middle income class. And people would always ask me or other people whatever like it money plays a very big role in our day-to-day life. So now it's like income inequality, you know, like big topic around the world. It could have a very very negative effect on a husband or on a wife. They see like one sibling is a multi-billionaire and they're trying to buy their kid new boots for the winter. How do you get and every single family is affected by this. You know, you might have relatives that are worth billions. You do or you don't. I don't know exactly. I I don't want to look at the financials. We're not going there. But but I'm saying you're talking to a very very large crowd. We have a very big platform and people from not from and you know in theat community etc etc. I want to know your and everything you say is very very talented and gifted and you have a good message. This is a very big topic. What do you tell people that are not comfortable in their skin potentially because of another relative's major success? I mean the way to to to stand up and be taller is not by pushing someone else down. The moment you're you're you're putting down that wealthy relative to your spouse to say he's wealthy, but I'm I still have I'm validating myself. I have value. You're already in the wrong track. It's not it's not going to end well. Um if the spouse that you married is is very shallow, Yeah. and has no depth to them. So, A, why did you marry them? And B, now that you did, teach them. You know, you could teach depth. You could talk to them about me and you and I'm here for you. And honestly, I really >> But not only talking about the wife, the husband also might be uncomfortable. >> I understand. Honestly, in this world, Clappy, what what children and couples really need more than anything is you having time for them. Speaking about chalice. Yeah. If you're going to provide time to your spouse, real patient, like really be present there emotionally, that person is going to have everything they need in the world in their own mind. Even if you don't have all that money, cuz that's what people want. That's what kids want. When kids see someone else's kids have a lot of toys and everything and they start screaming at you, you think it's because you're not providing all those toys, usually it's because you're not providing this kid time. If you would have been providing all the time a child needs, sitting with them, singing stories, looking them in the eyes, singing songs with them, answering their questions, they wouldn't even feel, they wouldn't feel that they need all that money of their friends. >> The gems are finally coming out of this podcast. You know, getting a little more normal. >> So, you're talking now. >> So, this is what you're waiting for. Exactly. >> So, a girl a girl in Flap was 32 years old. Her husband's working com making 687 $74,000 a year. The kids are like a com making tuition. They're selling raffle tickets to get the kids to go to summer camp. And they live in a three-bedroom. That's most of their money. And then she has another brother-in-law, some rich Syrian guy, has a construction company. And they make $23 million a year. They're in deal. They're on flights first class Hanukkah vacation. And your kid has to go to Ellis Island. You know, he has to go on the boat for a Kaneka vacation and go to Bravo Pizza. You know, that's his vacation. You're saying as long as you show your kid love and you're there for them, they don't care about the other guy's private jet. That's not what that's not what's talking to. >> They only care about it. They care about it, but it's a passing it's a passing need. Oh, I wish I did that. I wish Tati, you could also take us to that vacation, but it would be passing. It's only pressing because there's a void. But if that void will be filled with you, Hashem gave you all that capability of providing everything your kid needs all in your own home. It's emotional needs. That's what kids and a wife and a husband. Even a husband, they won't say it. They're too they're too proud. The husband needs a wife to be to be present for them, too. But a woman especially needs it. And and children, their children especially need it. Provide that real like don't rush. they'll feel like they're on top of the world. >> What happened in the from Jewish community that every single guy thinks he has to be a multi-millionaire and if you're not a multi-millionaire, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GO GO BE A CASH ADVANCE GUY. There's a you go to you go to shul the conversation changed that everybody's supposed to be a multi-millionaire. There's not supposed to be a guy that does 9 to5 and do do you feel that as a rabbi? Is that what happened in the firm community? >> They're right from wanting to be millionaires. Parasuma BB came out in 770 in front of the cameras and he said that every Yid has to do what he can to have gold and silver. It's this day and age. Hashem provided an abundance of opportunities. So they're right for wanting to be to be wealthy. I don't know about wealthy but for wanting to have a a abundance of everything. They shouldn't have to worry. They're absolutely right. And Hashem absolutely provided tremendous opportunities pretty much to almost or everyone to be very successful which is a whole very painful subject. Why people are not utilizing opportunities again brushing off opportunities just like and just like issues in marriage brushing brush off is like the biggest plague these days. this brushing off impulsive response to things, you know, um but they don't make vessels for it, you know. They they're talking about money. They want to be they want to they want to have a lot of money. There's there's certain you have to you have to refine a skill. You have to provide a service in the world to make that money. Just to want to make to make the money is not going to get you far, you know. Um, you know, I want to say something interesting, you know, because this applies to to brushing off opportunities in business and and to sh something called impulse. It's a very impulsive generation. Maybe yen especially are impulsive because we're emotional. I used to think that my first impulse to a question to an opportunity is correct. And whatever I decide that flies. Yeah. And I'll prove it. >> Intuition. As I got a little bit older and I went through life and a little bit wiser, I realized that usually my first impulse is wrong. >> And if you think about it and you digest it, >> you shouldn't trust your gut >> at the beginning. Absolutely not. If you thought about it for 10 minutes, for an hour, even give yourself even an hour, you could trust your gut at a certain point. But there's so many there's so many impulses that are controlling. And that's what the Reb meant, I think, when he said everybody should be full of gold and silver. There's there's so many opportunities that everybody has and they're brushing it off and people asking him to do this job and things that could open doors and oh, that doesn't fit me or or the wife doesn't like it or the husband doesn't like it or it's not it's not and they're branded living miserable without all the cassif that's waiting for them. So I think you kind of said that every single person should become a multi-millionaire and like people that are you should at least try and if you're not you're giving up on opportunities because there's there's certain people who are really capable of teaching children very very well. I don't think there are to become a millionaire. I do think like it says in that if they're going to do what they're good at which is teaching in hala let's say a whole day they have amazing teachers now really do um and and the kids love them and they're and they're taking soaking in everything as a sponge. I do think that if they're going to make some side hustles to make money, Hashem is absolutely going to provide it for them because they're doing their real capability. >> Say they finish at 4:00 in the afternoon, they go to bed at 1:00 in the morning, they could they could have a great side hustle evenings. >> That's right. >> Right. Then there's some people who will go and be a teacher in some school only because they didn't want to push the envelope. They didn't want to make themselves because they brushed off good opportunities. So it everybody suffers then he doesn't become rich and the kids don't have such a good teacher. >> What's a common denominator? >> It's in every job not just in education. Yeah. >> What's a common denominator of people you see that are wealthy? What's the personality type? I think today um you have the most gentle, humble people in the wealthy genre that ever existed. In the old days, someone wealthy was a very big arrogant uh boss. Today, it's just a bunch of regular people. Like happy said, Hashem sprinkled money like just between a bunch of regular people. Today, you can have a regular person with money. It can it could get to him and change him a little bit and it could alter certain things, but overall it's regular people. today, the person with the money, you know, I I I know some people with money and I know some people with big money and they're regular people. I'm just regular people. Um, they the only thing they're not regular about is they didn't go by impulse. They made calculations, you know, how to make the money and they also made themselves uncomfortable. They didn't let all these these these hang-ups that make people brush all opportunities off. They didn't let that get in the way at all. You know, there's a statistic. Like I heard this from my brother-in-law that when you when you squeeze your when you bite your lips in a trans in a in a conversation or you know for your benefit whether it's financial that's usually when the money like the oil is squeezed out of the olive whenever that's what I'm saying don't judge your impulse oh my god tells me it's not for me it's usually I don't know about you I could short to talk for myself but I could show you quite a few people who by impulse too many people uh will right away brush something off and usually know that's absolutely just perfectly right to bring them a lot of braha Not only that immediate braha brahas that it will bring open doors if you're uncomfortable. These wealthy people I know they're regular people but they knew how to bite their lips and and do what's what's um >> out of their comfort zone. >> Absolutely. >> You also you're in business in the business world right? >> I don't I don't I don't invest money into things. I'm not a a business but I bring people together in real est. How do you balance that? Is it >> I I you know I was in a meeting in Westchester a few weeks ago. Uh you had a lady a lady over there who's on the like one of the executives of the UG. She has a a big piece of land. Yeah. and and there was a there was Yiddish investors and this lady was obviously Jewish and her her her son was there and her and her brother was there and you know I was there with my fillin and I made such a good atmosphere because the Jews and and I made myself a goal. It was a long meeting and it was after waiting a few months and I made myself a goal that I got to get these people to put on Finland. Looks like Fillain is not in their their order of the day at all. It's not even on their list of to-do things, you know, when you're older. And my my main focus was on the brother. He's like the owner also of the whole all the property. And and I was like, how am I going to get such a like Manhattan type of Jew 60? How am I going to ever get him to put on film? I made it so warm and I said something beautiful about Yiddish. Every once in a while I made them laugh and and then I had a I had a chance in the middle of the meeting opening. >> I had an opening. I was like I was like I don't want to say his name on because it's still relevant. So I I said and we're gonna get you to put on fill in at the end and it was so light he was quiet and he was >> closing at the closing. Um and by the end >> subject to the closing, right? >> By the end he and his no it was just for a contract and by the endem and by the end he and his son-in-law he and his and his nephew they both put on film and he told me it's his first time putting on film since his bar mitzvah cuz here I am in a business setting am identifying as a rabbi who's also facilitating people coming together >> well so he has respect >> English in English broken deals. Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm on the contract they're calling me a consultant on the commission agreement. That's broker is like a title. You know, >> the biggest addiction in the entire world today, the biggest addiction that plagues everybody, all denominations, is the cell phone addiction. It's part of our body. We're holding on to the thing 24 hours a day. We're eating with it, sleeping with it, going to sh with it. Sash is taking too long. >> There's there's a study that there's certain chemicals that come out of a come into a person's brain when they're in bed with somebody. Yeah. So, you know, wife, etc. And that those those same Rabi Shagal said this psychologist those same chemicals come out when you lay down with your phone. How scary is that? >> Wow. So >> it's very unhealthy. >> You're a spiritual adviser. What do you recommend? >> Um you recommend dumb phones? >> No, not at all. I'm a big fan of smartphones. >> You are? >> Of course. >> Why? >> Hashem gave you a tool, an amazing tool. Why? Two nights ago, one lady uh come came to the mineral lighting. She took a video of my speech about expelling darkness. And today, how many views is it? >> Over 100,000. >> Over 100,000. And and literally dozens of comments of positivity. We need more Jews to spread more light now in the world. It's unbelievable. Yidden from Australia, from America writing, it's all because of a smartphone. What do you mean? I I'm not a fan of giving a a smartphone to to teenagers because again, it's the foundation. Don't tamper with foundations. But what's wrong with a smartphone? >> No, the issue is is that it used to be that if I wanted to go to a computer, I would have to log into a desktop. So, when I wasn't going to a computer room to play with my computer or do a business deal, it wasn't I wouldn't walk around with this big computer that weigh 20 pounds. Then, I got a laptop a little bit easier. Today, my iPhone is my calculator. It's where I do business. It's where I check tracking for my customers. It's where I bid on auction sites to buy stuff for my customers. It's where I get money from investors. It's everything is the smartphone. that little few inch piece of things. So, if you're not like actively giving your kid a bath or changing a diaper or preparing dinner, you're on a it's 24/7. I'm talking about myself. I'm terribly addicted and I'm sure another five billion people are. How do you separate like Okay, >> we do very well with addictive people. >> Um I'm going to answer you what I think is a little piece of advice. Um when you're with your kids, put your phone in your jacket in your dining room or in your kitchen. When you go to sleep, also put your phone in your dining room or in your kitchen. I I most nights I do not take my cell phone upstairs to my second floor. >> But you're paid to be a rabbi of a congregation. I What happens if God there's a massive emergency with one of your congregants? How are they supposed to reach you? >> Come knock on my door, start ringing the bell. >> They should come knock on your door. >> What What happened before cell phones? You know, and uh people have a home phone also in emergency. Uh if you don't publicize the number Yeah. So people could call you if it's a true emergency, but uh I'm a big fan of leaving the phone. I don't always do it. Uh but most nights I think I I I leave it on the first floor. I go up and for the first 5 10 minutes because of this constant which you call an addiction which is true to a certain degree by everyone and you feel a void like you can't check up anything but but clabby 10 minutes in. Yeah. You forget about it and you look for a book to read and you look to talk to to a family member. You look to take a nap. It's great. It's phenomenal. You take you read a story book. You have to adjust. You don't have that instant instant instantaneous gratification of colors and media and multia. I right now is now usually >> black and white. >> Black and white. My phone's black and white. >> Makes it more boring. >> Makes it more boring. Believe it or not, >> I didn't even know it existed. believe it or not. So, so you have to learn how to how to adapt it to that like that you utilize it mainly for good things, you know. I when I when I was sitting on the couch last night with my kids after Manet, I I put my phone in what I need my phone for. So, if you do that, so yeah, okay. At a certain a certain degree, you're right. There will be a certain overusage. >> On the social media viral videos, he's a lot more animated here. He's like trying to act way too normal. >> He's being PC. >> Oh my gosh. So >> another thing another thing is a little few hits. >> We had one >> if he hit if he hit the right nerves. >> We had oneuya we had one that became extremely succ >> he became a real a real popular deli owner. He owns a deli 70 80 100 customers come in a day. That was by far one of the best podcasts with Robbie Jackson that I've ever watched and one of the only podcasts that I I I listen to from beginning to end. It's one of the reasons I came here that is providing such a service to the the community. You guys don't even realize it's turning into a big way goes around with his shorts trying to poke my buttons over there. Eh, no. No. What is it providing? It's making way have his fun and it's entertainment. This is not just entertainment. This is inspiration. the things he said working so hard he's full of you could tell it's very very special podcast >> one of my favorite >> then the other another podcast yeah of course it's true it's very special I think I think it's a big >> another one is for 50 years and he realized in the middle of listening to >> how gifted and talented he was so he went into publishing books >> so you were on for 20 years and you got very close to a lot of people and now you also became became the rabbi of an official congregation. >> Right. >> So, I asked the last few schlookim that we had on, what's your message to the 5,000 brothers and sisters around the world? How do they know if they're tapping into the success that they could be tapping into or they should start >> vesting out, moving out a little bit into more stuff? No, it's a very big topic. A lot of asking me like where could I nothing about this, but messaged me, Izzy, what could I do more in my area? I don't know. I have to work with Americas maybe to how to help. It's a very good question. It's a very good question. It's a very important question. They say today in in in the world of commerce, e-commerce business, only the companies that are learning to adapt are the companies surviving and thriving. >> The person selling schmatas still in Empire State Building in an office. Yeah. They're not making anything. They say a lot of the Amazon guys and I'm not in the business. Yeah. were continuing the whole excitement of you know the Amazon of 10 years ago are not making any money to survive. The ones who are adapting and they're realizing where where there's unsaturated new frontiers in business that's that's >> we're creating new product >> creativity today is no different. If you're going to stand and do the same the same job that have doing are doing 40 years ago financially successfully if you're going to draw a crowd I don't know but if you're going to adapt to what attracts people what message they want to hear and what programs they want to see so definitely you should use your yeah >> would you encourage to get on to social media and do more videos and talk to the tom to the world >> um Not everybody's good at it. Mi um you guys are not good at >> I'm gonna add something for especially and really it's also foratimi. He came up state and he was he was he was crying to us a few summers ago. >> He came up state where where >> he came to inner circle. >> Oh you're the gambi in the inner circle too. >> Yeah. >> The most hottest was in the world. My friend Lucy Sturber. >> My friend Lucy Sturber is great. here for he had me treated me like a king. I love Nusi. >> I love Nusi too. >> And it's Mameish the most beautiful colony. >> I love Nusi cuz he's kind. It boils down to a person who really cares about other people, especially kindness. >> I ask a question. If I get invited to inner circle one and I dive in inner circle too. Is that like is it okay? >> Yeah. I think sometimes they come to us, sometimes guys from us go to there. >> I hear there's a lot of actors lately. >> Yeah. >> But a second came to inner circle too. >> He came he came to inner circle too all the time. his brother-in-law Moherska was so two two summers ago he was begging us like you know it's the end of galas yeah hashem it's according to textbook textbook it's it's big darkness the way to communicate with with big sadikim now is going to their graves for you know you have a a massive sadic write to the sadic all the things that you're doing everybody has good news to report it's above my that a person in kani it's going to hijab thinks that he doesn't have good things to report he says Write down on a paper with your name and always constantly give it to a big you know to us it's you go to the you give in a paper that's how made it before comes right by the oil >> right >> so when you go to >> I mean there's no one who knew better than him about how to connect to the and he's begging us to write I think that I know who write tob and they're making proper pragmatic real kumm for money, adapting, thinking, things that work, things that make money, things that bring people to your between writing to the Reb and that you'll see such miracles like tremendousness. But gosh, the Reba has your your back. He knows you. He's aware of you. The Reb knows everybody. Thank you. But you're >> well, the natural tendency of people is that when something is bad, they call you up to complain and say how bad it is. Things go well. >> The Reb once wrote to a person that the reason why something bad happened to you is because you didn't write to me anything good. And Hashem wanted us to have a correspondence. So he gave you something bad. I saw the letter. >> So >> they printed it in a few months ago. It's a year ago. >> You have to write to the whoever you are. You know, >> you still do the tableabling on >> if if the summer of the weather is well. >> The thing I was so impressed the first time in I live with a group of that this fancy drizzen branded rabbi is sitting on King Kings Highway. >> We're going to forget. We're going to forget. We are a cor corporate sponsor corporate sponsor of the Clappy and Frank show. Our longest consistent sponsor is CH Butcher. Last Thursday night, >> I went to the restaurant. They also have the beautiful butcher restaurant on Troy Avenue. Better food than the Top Man restaurants. I didn't have to pay for babysitting for 10 hours. I didn't have to pay $80 for parking. I didn't have to fight in traffic. >> Congestion. >> No congestion, nothing. It was two blocks from my house. Top service, well heated, marble floors. The food was amazing. Price as maybe even less than I'm gonna have to restaurants. Amazing. >> Maybe even less. >> Maybe less. >> But the food was good. I remember you five star. I have no tips for the chef there. Everything is perfect. Perfect. In Nothing is perfect. The food in the butcher restaurant. Perfect. If you have to Google it, it's on Troy Avenue. Butcher in Crown Heights has the best food. I don't want to become flic my coffee it's only at two in the afternoon but the beef jerky every flavor is amazing um who protein >> oh FFH the best pes program in the world I'm going to be there this pesak they're 70% sold out don't forget it's only two and a half hours from most of Brooklyn >> you for what >> I don't know what you get but you get to see me all pesak I'll be there it's going to be amazing we have Sha Ta Morai Dinner from JLI we have Gatsy Marowitz from Montreal Young Jewish Center professionals soup kitchen whatever else he does there. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be Benny Freezer is going to be singing there this year. Wow. >> It's going to be crazy. It's going to be crazy. It's It might even be sold out in the next few days. I don't know. Don't cry later. FFH PES program. It's upstate New York. >> Thank you very much. Rabbi >> Zenabbush East Midwood. >> If you live in Flatbush, go to >> Kingsway Bethl Jewish Bethl >> Jewish. You're accepting more members. >> Absolutely. >> How much is membership a year? >> You have to I'll give you the context. But we don't if someone can't pay we we work with them. >> He's a lot more animated in person today. He's trying to act normal. I don't know why. >> One second. >> Smash that subscribe button. >> People have to subscribe. His mama said smash that subscribe button, like button, forward button, share button, comment button. >> Also, I want to put a question. One of our sponsors suggested we should go back once in a while to just me and you. What? So, a few viewers have an opinion about the matter. Do you think we should do once in a while just me and CL? Also, I got a cardigan. People told me I have to look more sophisticated. I got a beautiful cardigan. I'm not going to say who. They didn't pay. Um, but yeah, comment if you like the cardigan. >> How do you How do you join your unemployment? >> It's It's not unemployment. I always worked 24 hours a day. It's self-employment. I am the artist of my own creation. >> Three. Three days unemployment. How many front? >> Who's counting while you're having fun? >> M. We're going to the gym now. We got to go. >> Okay. Thank you very much for listening. Comment below if you think once in a while me and Clappy should do a show without a guest. >> Make sure to go to public monero lightings and not be intimidated by the terrorists. >> Thank you. Thank