The Purpose of Life Is to Become a Baal Teshuvah -Likkutei Torah Balak Ma Tovu#1

the yeshiva dotnet since the Brazil sent out on the what's up that was starting a new mind man today so we have to start a new mind man motto every way Alaska page 145 on top it says Bullock I in gimel column one motive oil archaic of Hulu 145 on top it says Bullock okay this is a mind map on this week's parsha it's from the Year Tawfik of summer days 1802 and it begins on the words that bilham says in passions but luck the famous words with which we begin Dominic every morning Metoyer oil fa Yaakov Myshkin a cefiro how good are your tents Yaakov Jacob the dwelling your dwelling places you sir all Israel Lahav in my Manasa understand with the gomorrah says cola-cola Allah from Avram overbill of Qin mo Valley Connie I'd simcha Avram LM a otaku Doleac of yakujá Kaname shiny Hasan Dada Dada Dada Crowe the Gomorrah says in messiahs broca's Duff sama attracted brokers page 60 that if somebody calls Avraham averin it's over beloved's a transgression and Toyota because Hashem tells Avram you name is not gonna be anymore Avram from now your name is going to be Avraham so because after after the bris he changes his name passions like little solo career Jim Karim Kim Avril you name shouldn't be called anymore Avram so if I now call him Avram I go back to the old name it's a violation of what the reminder Shalom says in the Toyota to Avram that your name shall not be called anymore but Avram so therefore overbill laughs - laughs says Nina louder don't call him a from and they ever met him on the wrong flag the Gemara a bazaar every Jew he says who was the third patriarch Yakko Vivino says the same thing well your courage simcha Yakko if your name should not be called the economy Cyril and yet he's more often called Yakov than you strong and calm but you have both names yackin so the more answers it's very interesting cuz harder dihydrate crow with Yakko if you see that later even after the name change the Torah calls him Yakov with Avram and Avram the moment his name changes you'll never have the name Avram again it's for always Avraham but with Yaakov and you sir all even later many times the title refers to moussaka so hard if I Shem himself of the tailor himself after the name change goes back to the first name obviously it's not a problem it's not a violation Tucker says don't call your Yaakov you call your meaning there's a new name but it's not in a way that you now letter call the first it's like a second name an additional name doesn't take away the first step the question is hugglefish ila what this itself is the quite white okay here when he says your name shouldn't be Avram it's like cancelled out he's never called Avram again here he changes his name it's not cancelled it goes back to the first name and the second for her Union so you have to say the Indian is tree every lover hola Guillemette legacy so came back the material amid this is my legacy this means that in order to get here so you always have to go through Yaakov you can't skip Yaakov you can't ignore Yaakov there's no you slow without the he neighbor Yaakov Cyr Coveney zepa Maya this is of course all an introduction because bilham uses two words my toy Royale 'aka yock rave screen a circle is strong so here is an example where Yaakov is used again in the Torah even though it's by bilham but it was a prophecy and it's recorded in Homer so it's significant so that's how this whole discussion comes in what does the name Jakov mean so we go back to Paris told us after Yakov receives the blessings from Yitzhak instead of a sub so Asaph comes in and he realizes that Yaakov hopped away Yaakov usurped the broca's so a sub says ah he Karishma Yakko if now I understand why you named him Yaakov but Yaakov a knees upon Maya Yaakov a knee is he what's the word the he deceived me like he outsmarted me he used some crooked deceptive way to get around me already twice Zepa Maya as Co Rossi laka and as beer cozy laka first he took my birthright he found a smart way to take my birthright when I was hungry and he had me sell my birthright for his lentil soup for his dish of Necedah dosa that was one thing that he did to outsmart me and now he outsmarted me again by dressing up like me and using my voice and using my and identifying himself as me to take the blessings but Yakko vainly Zepa Maya he did a crooked thing to get me that's what the name Yaakov means oh heavens that understand this sonic love and feel ma hakushi first have to one explain and answer the question which question think of some other questions about yakko's question is lumberyard on a summer Loyola Mazel Akasha lumberyard under Somaliland wasa why did the soul come into this world so some people will say it's attestation the Kaaba sky made in order for it to get tremendous reward in GaN Eden ah very good to sell buttons yet in other words the neshamah coming into this world and then it goes to grenade then it has a gavel the COS cog about the career warrant the question is we worship before she wasn't a bad place while the card immunity dosa how he supervised a better night before she came down into this world she was sickening today than we was she hanging out again and she was in a various marketplace voice anonymous of Athena she was enjoying the radiance of the divine presence we O'Malley still a daily Dussel so what's the history history means what's the oath - what's the advantage what's the benefit what is gang issue means a game like yes sir something that comments extra is right you tape our shocks what's the East Room what's the gain what's the benefit are you they read us a-- by coming down Huli coming down very very low and being in this world and everything that goes just to say to go back to GaN Eden I was there I was there so we have to pluck me out take me away from there take a little time away from there go through a lot in this world huh very risque as we know very risque the gomorrah says i love i bore a hot tub of a yak alberto cutter but say circa alibi you should come back the way you came in at least the same risky very good yeah Vahini yes all's our comity roots them there are different answers that are given this in swaram of michialva hash gopher maggiorin Cibola so there's many different answers AAHA t roots are meaty this is a unique expression of Lakota Toyota kata roots are meaty but the authentic answer the true answer is command me Rizal based on what it says in perky office doesn't pretty obvious cuz I'll say your fish are our cosmic oeuvre my subclavian by la maza Mikolka ala mambo and prickly OVAs chapter for our sages say one hour of repentance and good deeds in this world is superior it's more beautiful than the whole life of elam haba we see that there's something about alum Hezekiah Lamar with a char a curse of true ver my symptom that it's greater than all of them up or combine - ow what is this for this is another good martyr and miss Esther brother stuff Lama Dalit broca's 34 but Malcolm Shabazz each over him them said thickened water mania Muhammad in the place repel each other stand even complete wholesome subdeacon can't stand that's what I heard the sages say miss ackers broca's lama donald faheen a and ash are misguided many dozen the goof and provided said they can go modem the souls before they come into the body certainly can be dubbed they can be defined as wholesome tsadikim us completely righteous a soul is sacred a soul as holy soul is a halo color coming out to heaven so the souls for sure it's not a question every soul is it sounded come out so I used in Colombia doesn't be go this is the eastern and the benefit advantage by coming into the body SH and nice and clean is Bali true it's only down here that the soul becomes a ball Trouville sure Allah say Allah my Allah my limits are thickened which allows them to transcend and go beyond the way way above lamella higher and mile even higher from Sadiki so from all the answers that are given why the soul came into the world the real answer is to become a mulch over that's the real ends up there it's a Sadiq devout the cat sound it sounded Gummer whole Sadiq and that's Canadian singer made sound it belongs in I made in paradise in holiness as he says nanum is ever streamer why take the neshamah out from there over there it can't be about truth down here below the neshamah could be about truven in the summer becomes about sugar what about silver means is also endless levels what it means to become a ball true ver but that's the ultimate a thing that happens to under summon down here it's transformed from what's a decanter ball true and that's what the admission er says y'all for shock us mokuba my some type in by la maza when the mission wants to describe oil amazi the first thing it says is one hour of truven why doesn't say one hour of my symptom the first thing that defines this world is the world where you could do chuhwa where you can experience truven where you can experience true and that's the oil um haza ofra haza know from holder lamar but one hour why the whole like remember one hour in item house is more beautiful because it is devoid of Trouville and that's why the gomorrah says that a mahkum somali true for him them said the kingdom can't stand so I'm just referring to two people in this world that's referring to the neshamah itself within a summer was before it was outside the Gummer with an astronomers through this world as it becomes about Ruffa and the place where the mulch over stands is completely not with its south extends and for this it was worth it for the neshamah to leave its sacred oasis it's divine cocoon and descend into alum house into the world with all the risks involved in order to be able to make this journey and transformation from what's auditable java is there much more to say hmm now what does this mean what's the difference between the sadiq and the mulch over what does it mean the place within is gonna stay in there but the process and therefore the place what happens in this world is do is that transformation in this world in a Shama could become a pin of mulch over that's what he says now Santino's Mali trova in the journey of life what's the basic difference between its addict and the Box rule we have to graduate here from the regular vocabulary he's about to ver she's about to ver right ffb versus bt Froome from birth bottles how we're talking about her because he's talking here about ffs bees also they say there was once a year by the basis straw but the game not by the life simcha huh yakima vino yeah huh mrs. snow with Bob Hoover yeah his father was it's he grew up he grew up it wasn't like a rama v no yeah okay we'll see they say there was a youth by the Gary river and he looked at him and you know he was identifying him so I don't know he told them something says Jeb Bush finish convulsive ur I'm not about to ver like don't you know why you're talking to me like that he says for vostok Enosh why not what what would be wrong if you would do chuhwa wouldn't be such a bad thing for you there's about rumor in terms of a cultural expression person who grew up without yiddish cried comes later to in disguise so you have it a culture you know this person is about true ver but really and that's of course true a person did true of a person returned the tire litter mitzvahs cuz I'll save a Malcolm Sri Balaji over him and said the community hello Mohammad Ramallah traversed and even the greatest and against an but shuva represents a concept that exists in every person's life and that's what he says even the greatest Sadiq who comes down here only in this world can he become about truth as it's sad that he could become a vulture that can't happen in GaN Eden and the any differences put on a basic level the first thing that comes to mind is but Saavik is an expression of a certain type of life a life of righteousness a life of clarity the concept of kuva means I got lost and I returned if I always stay at home I don't have to return I left home Coover comes from the word to return in other words I got lost I shifted I deviated I wandered so I returned in other words trouve is always created from a certain distortion from a certain confusion from uncertainty there's a void there's relapse there is there stumbling blocks there's failure I fell I have to stand up again there's rebirth after a person went through something that sadek represents wholesomeness your righteous you're good you're good you're good in good your holy your sacred it's a gate you're on a beautiful course you have a path the path goes straight you know like I'm a highway that doesn't turn you could be on cruise control you could take your hands off the steering wheel you could take your feet off the gas there's no sudden turn as they sudden turn as I but those highways don't really exist in Alamosa maybe I don't know some places the ball trouve is the person there is twisting and is turning to his distortions there's concealments there's mistakes dis failures there's things I have to deal with and overcome and then I could come back the common denominator of any soul that exists in this world whether you're sad the Corrib all truth in this world is there's a process of truth so Bala Tania says that process is not that there's a mistake that's the ultimate answer why the neshamah came into this world to be able to do truven to be able to become about silver to be able to experience children each day some according to its journey to so many journeys that I'm saying within trova itself we're going to see in this mind itself different levels but the common denominator is that's the experience of every soul down here which of course immediately gives a very powerful comfort and solace to the fact that any life you look at always has its struggle its it struggles its failures its setbacks things that are not simple things I have to overcome to be able to return whether it's a as a result of a person's actions or a result of a person's circumstances or a result of a person's disposition or a result of a person's relationships and so many other factors so a person could often look at it and say Lama look at their life and say Lamar soshim caca what do I have to deal with all of this but the truth is that the ultimate journey from the neshamah up there down here even in the most benign sense is to be able to go through the transformation from being a Sadek to being a bunch over yeah it's a yeah yes I'm saying that sardick represents that which is beyond struggle the ball Sherman even that sounding down here is also about Dhruva because in order to get to a place of a Libby Holoubek every we have not yet Sahara you have to go through tremendous avoid them it doesn't happen the gift of it Sadiq is that you have the potential to be exotic that some Souls can become so they can real tomates are Dickon but they still have to go through a process in the step hem in the parentheses is a few my remark I missed either my mahram and then afterwards I in gimel column to the second one he may Ashley Sherman H over but there are three types of true ver you say a bunch over what does it mean sure there's three types of Hawks are the actual Tata this true ver culture with the tongue which means the lower level of Chava the basic level of true ver in zyre it's called true Tata Tata means lower the basic level like the lower level low here doesn't mean that it's insignificant low just means it's like the first step the first basic level top thoughts on the bottom the first floor or the foundation she assumed a rabbit a colossus that a person should be the ultimate sir made some question into hilum llama Dalit sir may rava Saito the first thing is to go to stay away from rah which means to leave Mumbai - gosh Mumbai of the Buddha mice this is the basic level basic level is to have control over your mouse over you did were you - a person shouldn't blemish his life with thoughts that are that are that are that are not good with with words that I'm not good on with actions that are not good whether it's been other Mahavira been under my maken between one person other person between a person and a shrimp that a person shouldn't blemish his life he says by - gosh from interesting by - gosh man Muhammad Ibrahim eyes but sorry [Laughter] very good question about him he wants to know there's still a lower level that he could fit into so you have to understand all these things like in every mime Arabic Lao one of the big setbacks for many people is what's called extreme isms and perfection the need for perfection and an extremism you see a person see something right and he has to live up to that and emulate it and if not is a failure and it's completely disconnected and it drives a lot of people crazy the truth is is this old expression perfection is the enemy of progress anybody who waits to be perfect you don't get anywhere it's the enemy of all progress whatever you need were person waits for perfection there's no progress and the reason is cause it's never gonna be perfect they'll always be a critic the same was true in life so yeah the ballot Anya sets air forth he says a statement some rabbit atlas so remember a person should be completely stackless means ultimately like to the end tackle as's tickler to the end ah absolute submitter but oculus yeah but that process is a process of growth called card every person the foam should a delay but that's the basic concept of Chavez and the person has control over their life what's their life your actions your words and your your active thoughts but so do classes true ver and here this is the first process of - what's over lists card it Allah over which is remorse for the past the locket has had signed him in Iran and to uproot a person's Rutzen from the negativity from the toxic and right away he touches what Sarah shallow you Tinley parted me who Davis to see his birth that's the definition of wrath right away definition of rod that he doesn't want to be separated from the true unity from the true oneness of our shop so what is this level of true ver it's like poor said I made a mistake and I regret I say I'm sorry say I'm sorry I made a mistake I experienced that whether it's in thoughts and words and actions let's say between one person another person trouvé on this level is when I was not Sameera I blemished myself i blemished somebody else I hurt myself I heard somebody and I stayed true ver what we call repentance so the first step is always does a Remora Staz a regret I feel bad and I'm a Skerritt stylist khayrat Oliver Kurata lava means regret for the past of course result resolution for the future cause if not it's not real regret it's like I'll do it tomorrow again is tomorrow I'm not gonna do it again and if he says they have a locker it's sorry and I have to uproot my will from there our meaning what's remorse what does remorse mean remorse means that my Rutzen is not in that place anymore the fact that I was there yesterday means I wanted to be there I take my will away from that place i uproot it i uproot my Rutzen from that place I don't want to be in place and what's the ultimate motivation I don't want to be separated from the true Amish Oh Commission is by Lal I'm not sure what he means commissioners Boyle L the managers began it could be that that shop is there was another mind man that he said he said about this about after Saoirse not sure the zetsubou bit filler this trooper begins in Dominic ia day I mean when a person says Baraka Tasha Maliki no shakiness alakay no Baker Bay no and all the brokers in Dominic a person begins Baraka Tosh em McClellan the blessings ready burkas a shocker at market are Shambala Cana Malachi libera Hvar similar kinda Malayalam so what's he saying you know just saying Baraka Tosh em you're blessed God alakay know it's brothers as we said many times as I'm Shaka bra camis always to draw to bend to bring forth so sure young shark witness Alec a no bigger Bay know what I'm asking is la que nous Baraka Tasha it should be la que nous it should be our God la calle should be mine jokin Oracle says that the shame of the Kim represents kayak strength in others it should be my energy it should it should become mine vous prenez my Malakal Alma this is what we called the malik element which as we know by now hopefully is what is the divine energy that that fills that is is me I wanted it is Who I am but I want to be able to align myself with that truth of after session that's the first concept and this this is how a person behaves when a person lives with the oneness that I'm one with Hashem so then my actions I'll be a certain way my words will be a certain way my thoughts will be a certain most most if not all sins most of it is in the world comes because a person is the person feels detached and in the sense of detachment they're looking for some other attachments so Mahler the sin comes to compensate and to fill that void you could look you can make a list of any evading you did and you'll see that usually what you can make a list and you ah maybe under estimating yourself we have to speak to your wife you'll see yeah usually it's coming because there is a certain sense of detachment a certain void that a person is trying to feel even when you lose it you lose your temper you get angry you get frustrated you get overwhelmed and you lose it you're in a lot of anger and a lot of jealousy and a lot of pain a lot of loneliness what's missing is Lak no God remains above like we learned with the 6 and the 7 there's no synthesis my culture Mukesh what's missing is the Lak know that it's mine in other words that my energy that the truth of me is divine there's this whole complete oneness since that totally means barakatuh national okay no could exhibit passions viola this is what my should have been assess impact is viola we have a home of share I don't know why I keep looking there he says how low alkie a Malachi Bakr be Mitsuru Neha rasa-lila so this mama she expresses this idea partials by Yael of Patrick as he says para climate I love yous ayan Austin the possum chapter 31 was 617 in Deuteronomy so moisture Boehner says the full posture kids I just want to read it for you he speaks about Hashem tells my shy I said mom tells much you're gonna pass away and this nation may follow other gods and destroy the Covenant yeah I'm going to be very upset and hurt I'm going to conceal my face o Mitsuru robbers with service there'll be a lot of distress for on my bio Maheu and the jew will say on that day hollow alkie a nelec i became its own aro sila because our sermons not bicker be is not in me but k we literally means in my intestines and my kishkes that's why I'm experiencing all this throughout all this distress how like el8 Killick I became Antonio sila well no she has to ask the Pawnee by emmawho stub a Latonya uses this plastic as a paradigm not just for negative experiences but for all type of rod that exists in the world it's because I like he anal acai back here be la car maybe up there but it's not macabbee it's not who I am I don't identify myself as being completely one with the divine as a conduit for the divine the first truth is to be able to find alaka'i Bakir be which is basically finding my mala Kalam and that's the first trivial to be able to find Hashem within you that it's moment it is you that's you when you could see yourself as that person everything changes and I take away I say I don't want to be in a place where I'm detached I don't want to be a place where there's no actors where there's no year so that's the first true ok Sivan this deposit says in your Shire 59 don't test bass him up in a safe form of Dylan beneath him the vanilla cake you Shayan avi says you're avoiding us you since separate between you and our son so he says again it's been a family bein away km between you and your god la queja in other words the oven is the perception that there is a real separation between you and allocator when a person knows the oneness that they always have with a sham there's no half dollar there's no F dollar there's no room for awareness this the juicer may rabbit oculus is the true has this awareness this awareness 24 hours a day when there's this awareness 24 hours a day it affects how I what I do how I speak and what i what i put where where I allow my thoughts to go to nimza her every new massive mouth will be not automobile alakay no the oven the sin is the curtain it's the veil that creates the separation between her Adam Oh been awakened oh well but makamaka news buyer in another place we explained pity ringing Alec a no the reason that the prosecutors in the word been a coma been allocation the word Alec in and also in Parsons by a look how like en la Kaiba care be he doesn't say Hashem he says Allah chi-wai shimon m'kay not shame Allah Kim DAF kahin uses the name of the Kim for hi know me penne mushroom chicken Leah Stella Kaiba care be because fella kite be in Mischa's I'll finish a Latino latina doesn't mean a god it means my god ours it relates to me you say I'm your father doesn't mean I'm a father it means I'm your father it's an individual relationship Hashem is a chemise God of everything he's God of the world and beyond the world la kindness immorality no means it relates to you it's exclusive my husband or my wife doesn't mean you're a husband or a wife that's not gonna do it it means it's mine it belongs to me it since it's exclusively mine I read the kadesha Slee like a new is about the exclusivity it's my relationship with me he nazar am sure ah osya us yeah he knows Oh F should this can be came I did symptom only from symptom I become yours by restricting myself by condensing myself if I'm flowing everywhere I'm not flowing to one place it happens to it Simpson restriction I'll debtor symptom she knows I've been a bad they are any there's an expression in Madras Meadow Schreiber says or banished and Homer says and trauma Hashem condensed he compressed his shin in between the two poles of the arm how can their skin to be condensed but that's what the between the two poles the two staves of the arc he compressed as divine presence so how lakeyanna like Kaiba care me the Bakir bees always because there's La Caille does shame Allah Kim I when I say him of the elimination Labine la que hem what makes it a lake a new is because shame on the Kim that I'm defined by you by my relationship with you the La Jolla in a move on the managers trying to answer a question Halima local are its Collider is his glory is everywhere fills the world message to my investor its animal a passage says the earth and the heaven I fill but may live Elaine is Corral's air lotion Simpson clown oh my dua gob a bad they are and I'm gonna result in something NASA doesn't say the word that term symptom he said I mean I'm everywhere suddenly by the ark you say the word Simpson you restricted yourself i thing you know gosh and mm I miss our it sunny male darkest says that I fill heaven and earth the Navi says in year me I said shamaya miss are it sunny Molly I fill heaven and I fill earth in other words everything not only the two sticks between the two poles of the our that's true but nonetheless even though that is absolutely the case in cause there ain't a mayor Burton is Gilly it's not revealed came up winners Hallam it can be considered a nickel steamer the customer ashram is called enjoy our steam of the coal steam and steam amines the concealed of all the concealed meaning steam with a costume the word Sasa means something is plugged something is first up closed here it doesn't mean plugged in the sense of plug that it's it's it's closed but Sasa means it's like someday rice it's concealed the ultimate concealment I've obeyed by the entireties but as golovkin is Guillory between the poles of the are and his light was manifested it was felt that was experienced that's why a person couldn't go into the Holy of Holies only the Kohen Gadol on yom kippur everywhere you could go in the same God who's in the Orang is everywhere else also but there's a difference everywhere in the world it's steam with the call statement Hashem is completely present but he's there on his terms so what's missing is in the Gili the manifestation the experience of it is not there necessarily but between the body ha are on over there there was a Gilly that's why this mattress has to say in Malaysia Sabah sin same screen awesome embody our for there to be a Gilly for their to be able to be expressed and experienced for the recipient for the person who walks in it's a different level of kedusha there for me they had to condense himself compress himself exposed you from the word gal leg always exposed it's revealed it's called huh Gawain i right I've been badly under you commercial customer come out here this is what's explained elsewhere chabela costs ain't shy is clouding in his telcos vistas Kia minion Helen vanilla this is a principle of the Balaton in le cose the words the concepts his stylist and his spatulas are not applicable his stylist means departed like somebody is nostalgic right mr. Leghorn on it says right the cloud departs stylist means departs an dispatch this is the opposite expansion he says the difference is a hell of angular not as stout cause of asbestos which means if you're gone or you're not gone but rather if you're exposed or you're not exposed the observer if the observers can experience you meaning Shaban missus SMI investor it's an e moly I fill heaven and earth fill means I fill it fill doesn't mean 50% you say a cup is full it means to the top so when you say I fill the earth it doesn't mean half of the earth I fill know every me could there with is heaven or earth an e male I fill it come there ana moly moly means it's you full it's filled with me with my essence with my presence rapture of Guinness Helen but it's not necessarily exposed it can be concealed concealed means that the person doesn't have the faculties of the perception to be aware of it and that's the key difference is stylist means you're gone spatulas means okay now you come back helluva gilli means is all gone Hallam is yeah the word Halla means concealed the word gila means expose revelation revealed so I can experience it okay Maya that if Marshall okay men body are no American is Gilly I'll come out that if Marshall by Adam Hamish ever be either better girl gum kinky de la cama just like by a person the brain what we call today the central nervous system the thoughts are in the entire body the entire organism is connected to the brain through the nervous system there's nerves that expand and extend and branch off in very intricate ways billions and billions of nerve cells in the body that all branched off ultimately from the central nervous system in the brain that goes more down to the spine and as a result of that the masiva the thought process of the brain is machines it's in effects its present even in the leg even in the toe Cadell the come on as we'll say so I will explain later I shall be regularly so what's the difference between the foot and the brain I should be regularly in goodness hello mammoth I hope Amaya he may either be Prima's Gilliam Amish for libel cleaners Halima Markov lava in the foot and the leg it's much more concealed it's called more in a state of Markov in the Maya and the brain he may eater the marsh Ovid the thought is revealed in the ultimate revelation and not concealed commercial customers Americas but Ibrahim a skill vehicle career after the Maya that starts vehicle for he naked a sure so the same is true with the world the he naked a show your delicacy between his Guillory EF she came I did Simpson frelich us to come out in Aggie Louie expose that one can experience it it must go through it Simpson what planet-- Simpson are restrictive Nastasia huggy lute Simpson mats Leesburg what we call Guillory is for him at Simpson when it doesn't have to be in big you Louie in other words if it doesn't have to be filtered that I should be able to perceive it doesn't have to go through it Simpson he's here on his own terms but I mean I may not be receptive to it in order for me to be receptive to it in order for it to be revealed what is revelation for me is always concealment for him because if it's not symptom if it's not compressed if it's not condensed if it's not restricted there's no way I could perceive it in my limited perception so if it's not much some--some I'll be here but I can't experience it because my eye is simply not in the position to be able to sense it so it remains by Helen it remains completely about not that it's not here it's just I don't have the calum the vessels at the moment to be able to be aware of it in a pen amia stick away it's here but it's called maka maka fear is always an experiment something is here but it's not here in a way that I can experience in an internalized er what we call Safavieh Marco doesn't mean it's around a cop it could be in but it's in in a way that it transcends me it's not and therefore should there huh Gilead symptoms as well Kamiya did without that US Marshall so hug you llevarse Pallavi little gap in her Ralph it would be an example of speech for the teacher to articulate his profound thoughts and speech is basically descending a level it requires restricting the idea limiting it filtering it figuring out the best way to communicate it it's a harsh Paulo it's it's humbling the idea it so you read there like a bear Ralph but it's the ghillie for the Talmud if it remains in the world of thoughts what does the student have bupkis garnished de Bourgh is what allows the student experience everything without the words he has nothing so what allows them to experience it what exposes the idea speech but for the teacher it's a hush Paula it's like going through a it's a humbling process because all successful speech requires a tremendous amount of filtering and restriction to know what to say what not to say how to say sometimes people's think in their minds I have the idea in my mind you get up to speak it's a disaster you see it constantly not because the person didn't have the idea but it's chaotic in your mind it's good for you it's good you know your thoughts go you you know the problem is there's other people in the world the art of communication is the art of symptom it's the art of taking the idea and filtering it and communicating that the person who's not you and maybe incompletely specially if it's a Ralph who may be way up there in a town middle maybe way down there and therefore the Rev must go through the process of Simpson for there to become Gilly so what's a Gilly for the recipient is a helen for the communicator what is a Gilly for the communicator is a helen for the student what is more revealed in the world over there are of the rav is going to be concealed for the student because it's not tailor-made to his vessels to his to his unique reality to his faculties disclosures characteristics and the contrary and in famous conversely val Dover's there and with for this reason leah snicker le que nous mama so i did some fresh m to be called la que nous ours it's mine it's ours it's exclusive it's up it's a personal relationship you're not a husband a wife a god a father it's ours ours means I can feel the I is you and you are me I am you that relationship that intimacy of la que nous that RM is my personality my essence this is only through some soul for la Haine lane escaped in a zoo alcoa Seamus key emotional Hakeem dark that's why taking a shams name and personalizing it using these verbs you will not find any other name the name of youth cave of K how do you say it when you want to say it's ours there's no name for it the name of the Kim is pliable la car le Kim La Caille la que nous allocation how does it become so pliable shema yisrael hashem always remain such them la que Ella Kim is different Ania chemin like a sham la que nous La Caille right anally kaiba kearbey why because Allah Kim is the name of Simpson and with symptom with restriction with condensing it can become relatable in a revealed way to the students experience this is who I am that's why we call it mom on the column alcohol means the way God is defined as the engine of the universe the way God becomes the very eye the eye of my eye is a Shem is it all there is to Hashem no we're back to the Gemara who MacLean Michele oil of a no LM Akuma but there's no I outside of it so that's and when that le Quy is missing key and Allah Kaiba Kirby it's only Rasul Allah that's where separation begins and when separation begins means there's no Guillory there's no Guillory of ellicott there's no it's not be curb it's not inside of me I don't feel Who I am I don't know who I am that's when the person becomes a broken person that's what your eye is brokenness and from there your thoughts your words your actions can go of course gazelle in you nacho waha this is the first true ver that basic true ver Leo's penis La Caille Bakr B that's the first true ver to be able to re identify yourself to realign yourself with the divine inside of me these aren't this is my kishkes that's the first basic truth he calls us the lowest level of truth huh what the first level so I think we can understand this pretty clearly what moisture at what what Hashem means when he says to Moshe for our my by yo-yo ma who like el8 alloy alkenyl Akai back Abram it's only rasa-lila a person will say on that day because I sham is not inside of me therefore I experienced all these roya's all these bad or distressful things for no fee has to asked upon him i emmawho I once saw of art I think it's from the Pacifica Bingham up sister maybe the cotton it's a market one of their very great remedies in Poland one of the great Hasidic masters see he said on my bio male alkenyl ik I became him it's only rasa Ella he'll say that day he says he says before home with su rice robbers with Soros there's gonna be a lot of Soros a lot of bad things so the Jew is gonna say you know why this happened I'll candle the khyber care because God is not in me he touched the classics to this attached he said mature rice robbers with Soros they're gonna be a lot of Soros and what's gonna be the biggest sorrow that he's gonna say that God is not inside of me so that's gonna be the biggest star well my yahoo that's gonna be the biggest I saw you learn there's gonna be problems and you're gonna say you know why it is because God is not even he says that's gonna be the biggest star that you're gonna say how lucky a nelec I became Antonio sail but really it's not a boost um event Allah says well no she asked asked upon a by Emma who I'm gonna conceal my face that day so the boss Hampton says well no she asked asked upon mi mo means that even in hasta aster is also noise it's also me I'll conceal my face you know that I'm present there to the point in all of this is if it's really La Caille it's never a case of Estelle cos it's a question of Helaman Gila it's a question how much you're open to it not if it's here or not that's not the question Falco's means it's a question if it's here or not Helaman gila is how much you're open to it it's a whole different meaning in other words sometimes let's say in a relationship I'm gonna give an example that I never give from relationships let's think of relation you could talk about this a couple of times especially in today's world sometimes you doubt if there's a relationship you know let's say you once had a good friend you got into ever happened to you you're gonna end up store I saw some issue you know years later you meet somewhere and you know you look is there is there still anything left does he have anything left in his heart to me whether you're right you're wrong I'm not getting into you know who's right who's wrong but you know that happens so the question is is there a relationship is there really that level of connection what is not it once was you know sometimes you have a childhood friend and then you go different ways sometimes you had a part in a business sometimes you had a family relationship and things move on in life sometimes to the better and sometimes things get you know ruined in the in the process of life in the process of becoming about shuva that's a question of Estelle Casandra splashed us in other words is the relationship here may not be may really not be here you know water came under the bridge and you have to recalculate what does the GPS do when you get lost it recalculates the old roads are gone you left what we're saying here is a very different idea the relationship is always present it's never a question the question is how much are you ready are you ready to experience it are you ready to open yourself up to it that's a very different question in life that's not a question of Estelle Casandra splashed us that's a question of Helaman Gilly in other words I'm always here I'm waiting the question is are you ready to show up I'm here you say yeah but I did this and I did that and I you don't know how bad I am I know everything but I'm still here I'm here I'm waiting that's a whole different idea the question is are you ready are you ready to be vulnerable are you ready to be honest are you ready to confront your traumas your fears your stories your issues everything you're going through are you ready to regret are you ready to say I'm sorry are you ready to be able to experience it that's a whole different question of life and the difference of courses heaven and earth the difference is gan eden and Gehenna the difference is Toivonen ah the difference is where a person is so that's the key the key issue the first level of trivia means understanding this there's something called la chi chi means god is not just the god of infinity he's also the god of finiteness he's mind the god of my if i want to say it in simple English the God of my kishkes literally Bakir b means kishkes right core volume the whole kara vocalizes Amrish maha we say initial most what's care of the kishkes the intestines right here inside here Chloe's the kidneys caravel close I'm Beaucaire be the reason we Cuba means inside is because it's the intestines how likely a Malachi so doesn't mean the intestines here means inside of me but that's the cancer in other words it's it's yours calcaneal acai Becky ribbit sonia ruseler drew has a moon of people believe that God exists but that way in a laconic here be it's not who I really am there's no real real intimate relationship it's not who I am I'm I happen to be floating in the world that's where the rock comes from all there are all those disassociation loneliness and all all trauma all trauma if you won't even speak psychologically comes from this Nakota there's a part of me that I have to be ashamed of ultimately you have to lock it up and put it in a safe and never let anybody see it including yourself because it's frightening that's what trauma is that's what traumas and it's an incredible idea because how much a person suffers from this that there becomes this belief that you have to disassociate yourself from a certain part somebody sent me a book it's called the body holds the score the body holds the score the body keeps the score from a scientist in Boston a therapist a scientist in Boston so my wife showed me on Shabbos a picture that the author made somebody drew a patient drew up drew a picture a fascinating sad picture this patient was abused as a child and she drew a picture of herself that basically her body she has a picture of a body and then a picture of a mind a face a soul and it's completely detached and it's watching the body and she explained that basically as a result of the pain she couldn't remain present because if she would remain present it would be horrifying it would be too much she was too sensitive so her solar consciousness so to speak detached from her body it's like death when you're alive detached and she watched it happened to somebody else it's like you're watching somebody else experiencing pain in order for you to be able to protect yourself so now for the rest of her life she's not present in her body she's special not present in her body there's like two separate people there's an observer who always remains in a safe distance you know the observers on top of a bleacher watching life happen but there's absolutely no connection so when you're speaking to me who are you speaking to which part he's speaking that part is away it's been dead for a long it's looking gone and the part that's actually down here is completely divorced it's like empty from its consciousness and the pain that it causes and the results of challenges and causes are very very powerful that's just one example of what happens is with a person has to almost lock up their inner security their inner life their inner consciousness put it away because it's too painful down here but there's so many other manifestations of this and the common denominator of all of it is whether it's shame whether it's fear whether it's pain whether it's loneliness is ain't la Kaiba Kirby what's ain't Allah Kaiba can be that I can't really really really really and do really another few times you really believe that that I that that I and its core is not a piece of shame that that I at its core is a manifestation of the divine what we call mama local almond to be able to negate that void that void that I have to run from that have to be embarrassed it's clear what I'm saying we're not so clear your purse line my first taste huh then apply my he's waiting yeah the relationship is always there the question is how much I'm ready to be aware of it and this is not about judgment this this girl didn't do they didn't do this by choice she's it there's a little kid she did it probably as a four-year-old as a six-year-old it's not about guilt or judgment but it's about awareness it's always about awareness you know it's never about judging oh so now I'm such an idiot for not doing this that also comes from the void the void tells you I'm an idiot that's part of that's part of what you have to do to before to because it blocks you and always blocks whenever you go into a judgmental mode of yourself you're not in a place of growth you're just in a place of loshon Hara right comforts Khayyam says you know let us speak lunch not about other people and he says yo Sanaa let us speak a little about yourself and by the way sometimes it's harder because let's not about yourself is even by my shava but what's less not about yourself just bad bad things and less and harder by the way doesn't mean it's a lie might see shame remains it's why you defame somebody washing our amines it's true mana doesn't mean it's a lie gossip is not a lie the best gossip is true gossip everybody knows the juiciest gossip is mms whether you're making lies big deal can make a mighty shame now you open up you you you stumps a lies lotion our is truth about yourself is the worst lotion articles you know who the truth better than other people but you have to be careful it's called washing our eye trova troopers not watchin hard on yourself Hoover's recognizing la Kaiba Kirby but that's who I really am and there's always it's always present what I need is I need to make it from hellim to get away from the hell I'm turnin in tequila so this is a tremendous source of hope and that the connection was always there the question was was I capable of it and can I tell myself that deeper than all my fear and all my trauma and all my pain is my connection my divinity because if at the core of self is really the divine then ultimately I don't have to run anywhere but this is not easy I'm saying words to experience this is sometimes very difficult if you've those of you who relate to what I'm saying on an experiential level I should say unfortunately maybe with the trauma and everything know that the experience of it is not a simple experience because the experience of it comes with you know it's easy to talk about things it's easy to talk about things after that some of you could talk about things but experience it to be able to really experience it in your life often when the situation comes in front of our eyes we just revert back to our instinctive survival skills you know we just you just fall back into it and that ability to be able to stay there with a new consciousness with a new paradigm is sometimes very very scary to be able to be present and to be able to say God is present I can also be present and the two are not separate of course that's a good question he says his god part of the escape - yeah so that's why it says Varanasi has there a stir hosta asked us at the Baal Shem Tov said that the Hester is B Hester the Hester is Bester the escape is also part of the story we understand it gets very deep but the escape is also he's then escaped - yeah which means in other words that which means that healing is always right around the corner you just have to turn if he wasn't in their escape then you'll say okay come back no right you just have to turn the corner you know yet the corner Karen's ax and Omar there's a lot of times in the corner yeah yeah why would all this someone else say you're asking a good question of Yaakov you have an answer yes sword and a shield yeah yeah is on the swing right before your six what they say here about my ability to be like myself it seems like yeah Portland yeah the only thing I would add is you're right I would say the word hard is there is a true word but it's hard because we make it hard which is understandable right right really it says enjoy your troopers but shy to cut the oberliga süd it's a split second of awareness cuz cuz everything is here the only thing that was not here was my perception so yeah you're right that can take like a lifetime to change your perception but that's the only thing that's missing a couple of lifetimes or one mine mine look at the Tyler there's an expression in pre-k of us by saaremaa Morris never ha olam my family Mahalo mind me record your chili Boris so there's an old voice by Sidon what do you need a certain my mother's myth ain't mine man came in by shaft oval remind me record with one mind me luckily Boris you can you canoe you can create a world one saying of course one mine but sometimes in order to perceive it you have to go through so you're 100% right yeah yeah yeah yeah success is a pill something some cheesy but I think I real calling is to be able to appreciate this some success not only from a place of of of need than desperation a place of success right I think the Atticus vadym ah rock-bottom halloki a nelec I became its own ero say Allah so it's not just a raw use of history bad things its derive a person the brokenness of a person the toxicity of a person the the destructive behavior or immoral behavior person really every type of evade in the world is Shas omits was lysis very nice and then there abana from a thing like refuelers to a thing like loss Shannara from stealing from from lying even all lying with his lying come from why would a person ever lie only Cain Allah Kaiba Kirby on a basic level it's you know if you knew that God was what was was listening to you so you wouldn't lie cuz he knows Mohini I Shem need several of my local or it's quite there ma Battle of American Chloe's well they've moved the car I he's he's in Tania Perry my mother if they made a now you have a he nee Asha so so what's trad Vania minutes of a love again people get traumatized from these statements you know God is here like leave me alone does go to somebody else but really I think a much of much more appropriate understanding is God is like hanging on to every word of yours you know like like somebody who's crazy about you and they will not leave you alone it's like every word they're hanging on like Mohini I have myths of a love he's so in love with you like what's next like and you can't say anything wrong you know when you're crazy about somebody it's like every breath is precious every word you hang on to it's like I don't want to let you go Malakal are its core they were my Battle of a voice and Claudia's will lave your relationship with me is so valuable that it's like it's too good it's too powerful so a person recognizes that their words are different on a deeper level it's the reason I'm lying is I'm trying to run away from reality why am I trying to run away from reality last week I came pretty late one day so I apologize for coming late so somebody said you were probably in traffic so I said no I live like two blocks from me I can't get into too much traffic I mean in the show you could get into some traffic I should say but it wasn't traffic I mean it was a minute of traffic but not the parking yeah it wasn't a half an hour of traffic let's put it that way whatever was 20 men so I thought why do people I'm stuck in traffic I'll be layaway what do you have to say that uh eka I'm stuck in traffic ah well why doesn't the person say I actually left late I woke up late I overslept I left late I ie it's always disassociating from reality I'm ashamed with three of my reality I'm ashamed with my reality what does it mean in spiritual words God is not here he's not in reality so I substitute it that's what it really is and you know what if I made a mistake because I was supposed to leave an hour earlier okay so that's what truth is but by this is so simply by blaming other people by making believe it didn't happen you're not taking responsibility for it you're not gonna grow from it you'll continue lying next time oh so a lie with a lie in it they say what Lincoln President Lincoln said that lawyers need good memories because you have to remember what you said yesterday they said the definition of a nudnik is you ask him how he is and he tells you that's there's an expression in Yiddish a ligand terminators Argand mm Mustafa Mauna ala Moana saga the big difference I'm not let a lie doesn't mean I have to tell everybody the truth not every person I've seen show by the way let me tell you who what happened this morning and what happened last night and let me tell you about this issue they may not be Kahlan for it and it may not be appropriate just like you don't tell you child everything about your life but that doesn't mean but I don't but that's not saying a lie I'm not talking a life or Pico nefesh or sometimes it says in a local motel Hashanah is etc irenna clan y a-- i have sha love it's not stopping that's a little half soccer I once heard the Lubavitch Rebbe was once wobbling and he finished the Fabri again and there was like it was very very powerful stuff it was a certain void so the never said that the Maharaja was the fourth Obama she never had a daughter her name was de Vera Leia and her father bought her a toy or something and it fell and it broke so she started to cry and they couldn't console' her not with words and not with candies and out with prizes and her father came he said I'll buy another toy no and she was screaming and she had a tantrum and it was going for hours and hours he said and the whole house was nobody could relax she was screaming and screaming and screaming after a few hours she got exhausted so she stopped crying but she's turned to her to her family and she said he's on this main and if he revena it's an M not half soccer don't think for a moment I stopped crying I'm just taking a break we're gonna resume a little girl don't think for a moment I stopped crying I didn't stop it's a deep story by the way ah now sometimes people in life they don't stop crying they just took a break ah they don't stop crying they just took a break huh candy thing I don't stop crying I take a break so the episode would not stop in the fab Lane and we're taking half soccer and it could be because for those who don't stop crying so therefore there's also the antidote of that the fab Lane won't stop having challenges and he made his challenges into a very positive development that's always finding God inside of you yeah anal acai Beaucaire babe if I run away from the mistake it means I feel in other words I'm so ashamed I'm a lost case Trueba means I learned from the mistake I made a mistake yeah all lying is detachment I detached from reality and it never brings you anything what's what all every evaders that denial detachment alienation it's living in a fake fake world fake look why don't add it's always lie Isaak addict it's always lie right addict people already always lie they can't live in the real world and it's all SH and how much shame does that caused them it's coming from shame and it brings more shame when you're always lying you look in the mirror you know that you're lying you can't live with yourself so what do you do you become more addicted ain't Laird I'm for the person himself McKenna's ultimate but you become so good at it that you create a double life it's like Saddam Hussein had a double you remember Saddam Hussein it in case that you know so that that guy you know in case assassination attempts yeah yeah yeah so what's the concept of a double psychologically you're not you anymore you become like a double there's you and there's somebody else the real you was buried away somewhere and and and and the the view that everybody sees is like a fake you that's what happens after a while like your soul dies because you're not present anymore then why and I llamas there's so much shame I just run away and this saw that the self that's functioning is not the real self so what's missing my molecule almond what's missing is the connection this is the source of healing the connection the ability to be able to stay present and realize that the eye is not shameful I don't know how many things happen because of people's shame how many things don't people don't do because of shame or their bicyclist ofus that's the alter rebbe sucked Alamo the MS alum of the amis huh well that's why the MS has to be given in a sweet way just no such symptom is not a lie symptom is not a lie Sensa means being sensitive to your audience that's not a lie yes you can call it a lie but it's not really alive relative to ultimate truth it's a lie but the question is what's the point of it the point of it is not to lie the point of it is to give the truth in a way that can be heard that's why it's not called a lie if I'm doing it to pervert to cover-up then it's a lie but the teacher is communicating through Simpson because he wants to give the truth not cozy wants to hold back the truth he's giving it in a way that the person can hear that's already there's an expression cuz I mutter lashana sniffing a darkish solemn you louder deviate from truth for peace it doesn't say much love shocker it says Mutola shameless there's a big difference right LaShonda is not with shocker so I once heard from their neighbor he said the difference is Lusaka means you're making up a lie well Shawn nice means you're not lying you're revealing a truth that is very hidden but no it's very different it's very different you understand what I'm saying it says in obviously I'm on their errand right used to tell her husband's to tell her wife the person is so hurt that he's not in a relationship with you either guy cursed him out yesterday he's so hurt really Wow so he regrets it why did he do it that way so you say it's a law it wasn't a lie Iren know that he's hurt he just doesn't know that he's hurt but so last night at the kiddush how he was drinking why was he drinking why was he drinking because he's hurt by the relationship so ayran served as the person who revealed that now you have to know when you're allowed to do that even then it's not that I can always just you know but but but there's a depth there it's not that you're lying you're not going away from reality you're trying to help reality a husband and a wife who don't have someone by is you're trying to tell each of them things that we'll be able to bring them together you're not trying to fake to create a fake life to create a fake relationship on the contrary if conflict is coming from fakeness from a cover up and you want to reveal a deeper truth where they can connect but by the way the baal shem tov once said that the true ver for somebody who lies is never to say anything that's not true for them even for the best intentions and even in the ways that has all said you're allowed oh because like you know when when motion where the brahmam says in hookers days when you go to one extreme the only way to fix it is if you go to the middle you're not gonna fix it you know when the paper was bent you know for a few weeks you have to bend it the other way you have to go to the other extreme to be able to straighten yourself out what do you say okay so somebody who's been through trauma must have must have helped that person needs assistance to be able to to help them navigate between the world of lies in the world of truth they really need help with this but ultimately the point is to always to be able to come to a place of truth like everything growth has to be step by step incremental a person goes to one extreme you know they could burn all bridges and then you know what I mean sometimes those things will happen sometimes a person has to go to an extreme just to let go of the chains and then they could straighten out there's a lot you know sometimes that has to Sun it has to be an outburst because it was too much there's too much you know lies in me after I have to let it go and and you know let the pieces fall they fall then maybe I'm gonna have to say some I'm sorry's but that's sometimes part of the process but it's very hard a person who lives with lies is just too hard it's the brain can't deal with it that's why they make doubles the concept of a double is I can't be present in my life because I had to have to check out it's too much like like that abuse victim she had to run away from herself too much pain and once I get rid of my once I'm not here then I can live forever I once saw a line somebody said there's 2 ways to be happy either to have a clear conscience or to kill your conscience one of the two either just get rid of it you're good or have a clear one only two ways to be happy kill it or make it clear there's an old thing I once searched for my year there's a big topic our cameras are posted Russia we say he's a very airless a person so he told me that there was once they said a nanny that about her of who was at a dinner there was a court case and one of the sides slipped an envelope you know under the table he slipped him an envelope and he took it and by the break he looked at down below $5,000 and suddenly the arguments started to go in that direction and the verdict was like that person who bribed his opponent comes over to the other says listen I saw what happened and I also know my guy he bribes everybody yeah but I have a question you're a harsher heat I understand you need money I understand you're for sale a lot of people are for sale maybe most people are for some but $5,000 a guy like you with your name and your prominence I would say less than a hundred thousand you don't even look his way five thousand dollars he got you to sell you in a summer become a lawyer thanks I said I suppose I mean a man of prominence sell you soul but force a couple of dollars not for five grand in you did she says us for clothes dinner Sharma for $4,000 you sold yourself a $5,000 Felix never says number you don't understand I sold my soul thirty years ago for a million bucks it's been a faculty neshama now everything is just a river now everything is is just extra profits thirty years ago I sold my soul but you understand it's gone it was for a good price you know it's cool dividends who cares what's thanks that's what happens to it lives man see then that do you stuck there you're a double so it's always about going back to the to the truth Anil a Kaiba Kirby yes a might be it's all the same I did not so like Fleming wants exercises he wants exercises this frustrates you if I will just walk away with idea of no way of achieving tenth maybe that's part of the process ask me what exercise is this and that's it just there's something new just do anything just do something you'll feel better go for a walk stretch go jump in the lake drink some water to something something and then they come back two weeks later what could I do anything that I recommended no they did they went out and they bought her a cheese danish and they drank it which is doing something practical it says it's for reduce and go to the mikveh and Domino with qivana and doing affirmations and like red pencil self you go to nature and turn off the radio and listen to the nice inspiring music and singing and be with inspiring people and learn casitas you know we're bunnies we bribe each other example rivers themselves yeah commissar zhang yeah i think it's just a joke but it's a good joke let's hope it's a joke maybe it's not a joke cuz they don't know you they told that problem of that guy is he doesn't know you during times of war truth is so precious it has to be protected by bodyguards of lies mr. Churchill truth is so precious it has to be protected by bodyguards of Lies in times of war the hessed ah this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot they ueshiba net / donate