The Power of Jewish Women Part 1 w/ Rebbetzin Slovie Jungreis Wolff, Yaffa Palti & Victoria Zirkiev

this is horrible videos let's see if we can do this let's see if we can do it like that this way is better okay i'm gonna send your request roberton and then you have to accept it one second let's see if we can find you yes everyone it takes a little while to set it up but so has so glad to have you back hi everyone thank you so much for joining it's going to be a monthly inspirational uh show featuring hi eating daddy sorry it's it's featuring the females now the most powerful uh jewish woman and we're going to learn the greatness of a jewish woman i'm waiting for your robinson to log in what happened i don't hear you at all no volume here or there something is wrong with because we don't hear you i don't hear it either on zoom or on it you have to accept my invite do you see i sent you an invite on instagram you have to accept it okay let me try again let's see if we can do this again sorry guys when someone doesn't have instagram it's hard for them to log in into it um so we created a special instagram for the rob robinson to join us [Music] let's see if she'll be able to connect now and i would love to see your comments of who do you want me to feature it's going to be a monthly uh show around george chodesh and i am honored to host someone amazing as amazing as rabbits in slovenian grass wolf and i don't know what's going on with her i her instagram and her zoo robbie if you're watching can you please direct her how to connect please do you hear me now on yes i hear you on super you have to accept me on instagram yes accept me on instagram send your request okay but that is that is coming out a little bit hard for me try it again sorry do you see the request that i sent you to your instagram the instagram not no i i don't try to send me a request yourself go click onto my picture was there a way we could just do the zoom no because i have tons of people waiting to see you on instagram yeah i sent you i sent you a request now i actually have about 60 people waiting uh to watch you on instagram are you on instagram now yes okay but i don't see your request i feel so terrible do you see a picture pop up on top it says live on it yes click on that i do but i don't see a picture okay okay okay we're getting there we got it we got it okay guys wait i'm waiting for you to did you accept the invite you have to accept the invite now do you see it it says request request yeah request to be my live did you send a request yes i see it i'm waiting for you to accept accept it now i sent it again oh okay okay okay amazing placing my phone i'm okay everyone you can hear us now this is amazing i mean you need no introduction which i already did and you are so inspiring every time i hear you speak you move me to tears to be honest and uh she's a world-renowned author lecturer daughter of the queen i call her robinson young guys uh esther young rice and uh you are you lead the hillary couples division as well among other superwoman powers that you have so we're so honored to have you thank you so much for joining and inspiring all the females on my page thank you so much it's such an honor for me to be here i just want to make sure the sound is right because i hear an echo so yes because you need to your zoom volume needs to go down okay and thank everybody for being so patient thank you everyone she's amazing i'm just going to make that a little lower let's see this way we won't hear an echo okay i learned something we're good a little bit more i think you have to turn down the volume there's an echo okay is that better yes how is the sound everyone before we get into the questions how is the sound let me let me see uh what they hear they think the echo is still there is it on my side or on her side is it on my side i'm not sure i'm waiting okay they're saying it's good so we can start great i think this was just a lesson in never giving up never give up we we need you when we're doing something inspirational there's always things that is going to block us but we have to uh fight it that's that's the whole right let's go right there um okay so i'm honored to have you as i said again and i wanted to actually connect this uh month's show to the holiday of tu bishvat because uh we're in the holiday and turismo is known to be the holiday of the trees the seeds and planting and we know that when you plant a seed into the ground we don't see the results right away it takes forever to see it turn into a strong tree and you know it's something that takes such a long time and you have to be super patient what can we learn from the lesson of the seat and grow spiritually step by step when we feel like we want to see results right away how do we not get discouraged sometimes we want to just jump in and conquer everything look what just happened to us right now it's so easy you know in a second we could just get discouraged and that's life so this is a wonderful question it's something that we all go through and it's nothing new you know i want us to think about this hashem is giving us a message there's still an echo i think on your side my side so let me just the volume on all the computers needs to go up okay this way yes the volume needs to go down all the way up okay okay let's make it go all the way down is that good now yes okay great so this holiday of tube is really our holiday it's for women and it's such a strong message you know sometimes people say how do i hear what hashem wants from me hashem gives us all these different holidays and this is how hashem talks to us think about it we're in middle of the winter it's freezing cold in some places it's snowing and we're celebrating trees and we're celebrating life because we don't see what is happening right now but slowly the sap is rising it's invisible from this moment on the buds are going to start to bloom this is the moment that life is happening but to the eye we see nothing we see bare trees we feel cold we feel freezing if you would ask a person now do you see life when you look at this tree all of us are going to say of course not so hashem sends us which stands for i'm going to give you the secret you want shalom you want peace inside of you you want bracha you want blessing in your life you want one good in your life this is how it's going to happen you cannot give up in life now if you think about anything that's real okay you have to go to the torah any word that's in the torah is lasting and forever any word that's not in the torah this is something my mother taught me like take the word fun there's no word for funded the torah right why because it's fleeting is there a word for history in the torah think about it how do you say history in leshon kodesh you don't you say hi yeah right right we say see poor the see poor of mitzrian the story because our life is a story and it's really a circle everything that happened to our fathers to our mothers in mitzrayim in egypt will happen across the centuries through country to country to country to right now now there's so many people right now who feel like giving up so many people feel like saying it's terrible everything's crazy we can't you think it was different in egypt you think it was different than it's rhyme you think it was different in spain you think it was different through every god every exile that we went through absolutely not and now it could be even harder because we're so used to getting everything right away you know right away you're on instagram you see everything what's up right away you're texting somebody why didn't they answer me i see the two checks they they got it why didn't they answer me right you order something on amazon you get it right away so we want the refure now we want the yeshua now we want our answer now that's not how hashem works because you have to dig in deep and you cannot give in ho give up your hope so who kept hope alive you see once you lose hope class or shown you lose everything as long as there's hope there's life you cannot give up hope who kept hope alive in egypt in its rhyme it was the women woman this is our job this is our mission how do you keep hope alive that's the question how do you do it and i would say the first thing that we have to do is we have to look at this holiday this hag of tu b'shvat when you plant seeds you know where nothing grows if the soil is full of acid if you are a person who is full of acid of bitterness you're discouraged you don't see light then there's no way that you will have the bracha grow inside of you and you cannot give love to others and you cannot give blessing to others and you cannot give hope to others if you don't have it yourself so the first thing i would say is this the moment that we start to think something negative the moment that that line comes to your head like it's crazy the whole world is crazy i'm never gonna do this this house is crazy the noise is crazy we're never gonna make it out of this normal right there's so many negative words that are coming through our heads right now the moment the negativity starts you have to say uh it's acid soil it doesn't work no brethren could come from that i want shalom i want bracha i want tova so i have to replace the negative with the positive i can say it's hard but i can do this ain't novado we've gone through much bigger things of course we're going to make it of course every feel accounts of course hashem is hearing me so it's like you're on the highway and you went the wrong way and you hear the way saying to you recalculate all of us have to hear that voice now recalculate back to the bracha and this is my mission this is your mission this is our mission to be positive to pick up everyone you know with positivity this beautiful message wow you're right uh so many women are going through such a hard time especially during the corona and so much more responsibilities we have than ever before so this is a powerful words robertson i think every woman has to look at the positive and you're right refocus absolutely everybody has something negative in their life but everybody also has something positive in in our lives we have to put our eye on the bracha hashem is waiting to see what do you see i give you so much bracha where do you put your eye and we often put our eye on what we think we are missing or we're on social media we see what other people are doing and having and we say why not me we must come back to looking at the bracha in our lives because when you have hakara tatov when you recognize the good that hashem gave you then what do you do you say thank you and you're a happier person and then hashem wants to give you more bracha because you appreciate but think about if you're a parent and everything you give your child they just say uh or why did you give me this and why did you give me that and that's what you're doing and that's where we're going why can't we go there but i give to you more so we have to keep our eye on the bracha that's the message of it's invisible sometimes plant seeds hazarim bedima barina plant the seeds even with tears you have tears don't let your tears go to waste the gates of tears are never closed use your tears women we're all together right now use your tears to nourish our soil to bring the yeshua we can all do this we can we have this power beautiful wow i think a lot of people love your message i see the comments in in the in the thing amazing um how do we keep ourselves consistent with our growth a lot of times we get inspired we hear let's say a beautiful lecture we read beautiful book and we're like so inspiring we're full of inspiration full of fire and then it kind of like fades away how do we keep that fire alive it's such a great question it really is you know what hashem in his in his compassion gave us with two bishfat hashem gave us half time you see after rosh hashanah and yom kippur which is the yamim noraim we come out we're all inspired we're changing the world we're changing our lives this year and everybody can fill in the blank this year i'm going to do this this year i'm going to be this person we will get so inspired and then what happens life happens corona happened you know so much happened and then we come to half time this is half a year has gone by and hashem says tu b'shvat even the word two two two two like a shofar hashem's reminding us i want you to keep that inspiration alive how do we do it so the first thing is set a goal don't just make this you know i'm gonna be better everything's gonna be wonderful i'm so inspired set a goal for yourself next make a plan you see sometimes we have a goal and we don't have a plan how to make it happen and then make it real make your goal real which means even a little thing let's say we say this year i'm going to want to be more connected to hashem all of us want that you know so how do i do that now i have to have some type of plan you know in the time of david hamelach in the time of king david there was a plague and david hamillah said what can you do israel what does god want from you don't say ma say maya a hundred make a hundred brah a day a hundred blessings a day so let's say from our talk tonight we're going to say i'm going to connect hashem through making i'm going to take it upon myself that whenever i make a bracha i'm going to stand still stop what i'm doing and not move around it sounds so little you know it is so big because listen to this how beautiful this is hashem you know what the first letters are base alif yod what is that spell bowie every time we make abraham we say come hashem come come into my life and hashem reflects me so when i say to hashem hashem hashem i'm standing still come into my life you know what hashem says if you stand still for me and you invite me into your life guess what i'm inviting you into my life i'm going to give you all the brah on the world so how inspiring is that you could say all that is is one brother more than one brother i'm not moving i'm not on my phone i'm not walking around i'm not checking after somebody i'm standing i'm saying my brother i'm saying baruch and that's how we stay inspired it's little steps choose a goal make it real and then have a plan to make it happen even with this corona we don't want to do mitzvot we don't want to do there's so many people who are lonely at home make one phone call before shabbat call somebody you know and just say good shabbos send a text send an email do a facetime make somebody smile everybody knows somebody who's home alone who's struggling hard time is it such a big deal it is such a big deal to know at the end of the day ask yourself this whose life did i touch today did i make somebody's eyes shine today if i made somebody's eyes shine today then i know that i have i have life i am here for a purpose how inspiring is that that's all i need to do make a difference in somebody's life every single day just by making them small just by saying hello just by saying i'm thinking of you you could change somebody's world absolutely such a simple thing but yet it could really change it's life-changing for another person you know this victory that and i want everyone to think about this when i was a little girl growing up my mother would tell me how the first day she arrived to bergen-belsen and how terrible was was that who who can even imagine and she was just a little girl and my zaydi said to my mother here you have a grace avoidally here you have a huge job you have a huge mission and my mother said she looked up at her father at my zadie and she said here what can i do here tatty i'm just a little girl and this is gehenna this is the most terrible place in the world and you note my sadie said here you can smile because when you smile at somebody you give them hope if a little girl can do that in bergen-belsen can't we all just find one person a day to give a smile to you can change somebody's life and inspire ourselves when we inspire others we inspire ourselves that's the truth absolutely i'm having chills robinson you are incredible wow just wow powerful very you should read the comments you are just wow i told you guys she's gonna make you move to ezra you know we're here together we are women together we have tremendous cause together this is how we got out of mitzrayim this is how we're going to get out of this we have to unify all of us together with tremendous tremendous koaches women the gates of tears are never closed but what do we cry for that's the question what do we cry for if it's never closed why do we have gates on the gates of tears because when we cry for the wrong thing then the gates are closed but if you cry for am israel if you cry for the pain of another everybody knows somebody going through something you know what it is for hashem to see that we're not only focusing on our own pain but that we're focusing on somebody else's pain what does every parent want to know that your children love each other i'm feeling right right i can do exactly we're touched when i see my children caring about each other that moves me more than anything so you're absolutely right but that's what hashem wants you know why hashem made it so much more difficult in mitzrayim before the gaulah moshe himself asked hashem lama hario salam i said why are you making it so terrible you sent me i thought everything would be great and now it's so much harder why you know why because when everything became so terrible at that moment there was this unified cry where everybody felt the pain of another and that's what hashem wants from us don't just be stuck in your own bubble cry for another that's what makes us into am israel beautiful so we have to feel each other's pain and pray for each other basically i love it great points absolutely so you know what yeah go ahead i i little point how do you feel somebody's pain so i want to give you just like a little window into something i discovered from myself you know we spoke about little steps little goals okay let's say my goal is to feel somebody's pain how do i do that i discovered in my sitter before i dive in it says harini mekabel al-atsumi right now i'm accepting on myself mitzvah the mitzvos to to love a person as yourself how do you do that every morning before i dive in i say that verse that pasuk and then i think of somebody i know who's going through something and what they're feeling it just takes what 30 seconds that's right that's it think of that person and make it feel for that person think what that person's going through somebody's going through a difficulty with parnessa with trying you know to find now so many people have lost their jobs their businesses there's so much pain somebody's going to show them bias a difficulty in their home because everybody's just on top of each other somebody's going through something with a child so many children going through things now so many children good kids good kids you know choose one person you know someone looking for a shidduch somebody waiting to have a baby i mean there's so many people in pain if hashem sees we feel for each other what does it take 20 seconds 20 seconds of our time that's all we need beautiful i think all all the people are inspired and they feel the unity and how i one second if anyone has questions i'm just reading the comments wow i've inspired myself on speechless and i've never speechless so that's that's beautiful uh so we discussed how a seed eventually turns into this massive tree and just like the theme of this program greatness and empowerment of a woman how do we see ourselves not for who we are but for our potential for who we can be not just a regular you know mom why we get so lost in all this daily life i i want us all to understand first of all that you know what you just said not just as a mom we're not just as a wife there's no such thing as just when we wake up in the morning and we say after we say moda'ani what does that mean it means so great is your belief in me god that you gave me life the fact that hashem gave me life today means that i count that i'm needed in this world i was born now i'm here now i have to then figure out what is my mission in this world so we come into this world and hashem says moshe moshe avrom avram why does hashem say it twice so our sages teach us because we come into this world and god has hashem has this vision of everything we can accomplish our gifts everything that we can do the people that we will touch and then the second time hashem says our name is what our life really has become and that for some people so painful at the end of 120 years to see what could have been and what i did with all the gifts and time that god gave me hashem gave us such a gift of time so we all have to know that we have a mission in this world number one and we have potential to do something great now what is my mission that's for each of us to figure it everybody has a gift for some it's art for some it's a personality okay for some i know how to decorate something beautiful now how do i make my shop is beautiful because i appreciate seeing beautiful things okay everybody has something in this world that can make this world into a better place everybody has an isham everybody has a soul back to tu b'shvat on tu now when you are at the seder we have all different types of fruits and all this is a hint to our potential first of all we're supposed to have something from eric's easter el why because erit israel has so much kedusha and holiness take a taste something from erchistral a fruit a wine something and you're going to then infuse yourself with that kedusha with that holiness that's number one okay now look at the fruits some of the fruits that we have have a hard shell on the outside but there's so much sweetness on the inside maybe that's some of us that we've gone through a lot and we're a little bit hard right now but you know what don't ever give up on yourself because inside you have that spark you have that pentaly and you have that nishama that will never ever go away and some of the fruits we have are two bishvat seder are soft on the outside like an olive or like a date but you know what's inside a very hard pit you know what that is that's those of us listening right now who think a mush i have but inside guess what there's something called courage there's something called hope there's something called strength and every single woman has it i have never ever met somebody who has lost their pentaly their spark inside of them i've never i can tell you the most incredible stories i'll share one very quickly with you now i was doing a shabbos program before corona mock shabbos we had a hundred women under the stars it was a mock shabbos for some women and children who some of them never experienced shabbos before at the end of the program somebody tells me there's a little girl inside and she's crying i go to follow the sounds of her tears i find this beautiful little girl eight years old i bend down she's with her mommy i say why are you crying she said i want shabbos i said you were crying for shabbos i've never met somebody crying for shabbos you were crying for struggles do you know what that is and i turned to our mother i said your little girl went shopping she said i know i i said i'll do it for her and you know this little it's too late i said why are you saying it's too late bubbala and this little girl said to me we used to do shabbos but then my father died and my mother's stuff and when you stop you can never do it again i took her in my arms i said are you kidding me do you know what's going to happen tomorrow night friday night your mom is going to light chaba's candles and the angels in the heavens above they are going to be dancing and clapping and singing and they're going to say look who's back look who's back look which little shamala is back there's no such thing as a neshama that is not alive so we cannot give up on ourselves we all have tremendous potential and don't discount the potential of when you say just being a wife just being a mother just being a woman because we bring the goo la the future of am israel depends on every single woman listening right now this is our mission in this world and it's huge it's huge but we cannot give up hope what do you tell the women who are have so much potential but are afraid of failure they want to do something and they have so much talent but they're scared of failure they're they're scared they're not good enough that's such a great question i will say this sheba yi pulsatic seven times a righteous person false it's not a big deal to fall it's not a big deal to fail you know what is a big deal not to have the courage to pick yourself up again correct we're not malachi and we're not angels and we're not supposed to be angels why does hashem give us yom kippur every year why because hashem knows we make mistakes for human beings but then we have to pick ourselves up and say okay i made a mistake where do i go from here david hamelech himself made a mistake and you know what he gave us the most beautiful to him to say look up the tehillim that david amelo said after he made his mistake it's so beautiful where he asks hashem to forgive us to forgive him and he said i'm going to give you my words so never be afraid of making a mistake be afraid of not trying that's what we have to be afraid of the full answer today means that we wear a lot of hats and it's hard okay we're uber drivers we're therapists we're cook we're we're homework tutors i mean what does a woman not do today what does a woman do and if you're listening and and and you're not married you have tremendous roles in life there's so many people counting on you looking up at you that's the message of tu bishvat the roots are hidden but we have to work and know that we have to work on our roots and if the roots are strong the biggest storm can come but the tree will not fall sometimes we'll bend here we'll bend there but the tree will stand never be afraid if you know that you have strong roots you never have to be afraid in life beautiful answer so last question i know maybe we'll take some questions from the audience but how can we as women internalize this idea of greatness of a woman how can we remind ourselves of this on a daily basis to keep this important message in our minds you know a lot of times a lot of people say that you know they get so sidetracked with all the other stuff that they do that they forget they forget their yeah you know sometimes we're our own worst enemies and we put ourselves down it's women women are incredible okay hashem gave us which is super wisdom that only women possess which means we look at something and we see depth okay we don't give up we're the azer conegdo we have so many gifts we have so much in our spiritual dna from the women who came before us so how do we remember this every day i would say that number one when we darven there's one brah in particular that i'd love us to think about right now and that is don't forget when we say we invite hashem to come into our lives which is tired but did you ever realize that we're saying ya if what does that mean do you know what it means to be spiritually tired we ask hashem every day please hashem give me energy not to be spiritually tired do you know how many women i've met they're exhausted physically emotionally spiritually mentally they do not give up one word to heal him one more i mean you know i have my mothers to heal him i have her book of some the pages are tattered from tears this is our secret weapon this is what we have and tu bishwat comes to give us this message i'll tell you how what is rosh it's the holiday that hashem gave to women okay why why rosh which is really it goes according to the moon right giving us a message every time we look at the moon and listen carefully because it's so custom-made for every single one of us the moon does not stay the same sometimes you're going to see this huge golden gorgeous moon it'll take your breath away and sometimes you'll see a crescent and sometimes you'll see nothing do you know what that is that's me that's you that's all of us because sometimes we feel so emboldened and so empowered we feel like we're that golden huge moon and we can do anything and everything and then sometimes we feel like you know i'm not feeling so strong today that's right sometimes you don't even see the moon sometimes i don't even see myself i don't even feel myself invisible i have no more strength but you know what hashem says this is your holiday rosh hodesh and tu bishwat comes exactly when in the middle of the month when the moon is the largest and the most beautiful hashem says women i love you the future of am israel is depending upon you when you feel that you have no strength ask me i will give you the strength look at the moon and know that even if you don't see the moon the moon is there even if you don't see your co-op your co-worker is there it's there i promise you it's there that's the message to each of us every single day we have potential for every single one of them wow wow i think i'm inspired to to do more but is it okay if we take a few questions because a lot of people have absolutely so uh there's a one question how do we connect more to tahit uh one lady lady says she tries so hard to connect to the words or maybe because she doesn't understand it what she's reading so it's hard for her to connect to the words and also i know a lot of people as myself i have a struggle to find time to pray to but i you know i have so much going on throughout the day and you know if i do pray it ha it goes on you know it loses its meaning how do i connect to my prayer okay so let's first think what to hilum is you know why is it so important for us you know david hamillah king david wrote to hillam it's like let's say you have this wonderful wonderful beautiful coat to put on you could either buy a new one or you could buy a vintage coat that you know was made so well and so beautifully he's given us his words to put on because sometimes we don't have the words to say to connect to reach hashem and david milk is saying i've gone through it all okay he he did he went through everything that's right assam it's a hellum for everything so first of all we have to know the source it's coming from our zaydi from david hamillah second of all for every situation there is another psalm there is another tehillim to say so it's important to know you know sometimes it's a thank you to hilum sometimes it's a time of danger sometimes it's a time of sickness i mean there are so many to him to say so i have to know the right one for the right time and to know what i'm saying is really important exactly as you say there are some to hilum that were put out that have tremendous translations that it's much easier to say and understand now wednesday i'll i'll give you a little window again in my life you know growing up my mother's to hillary any time would be anywhere the car the doctor's office five minutes here red light whatever it is out comes the tehelem and what can i say what can i say i can say this what is tehillah don't wait for things to go wrong to say to hillary okay think of it that you're opening up a spiritual account in shamayim in the heavens above and every time you do a mitzvah every time you say it to helen even a few words you're making a deposit into your account it's the most beautiful thing who knows who knows what power your tehillim is going to have for you for your future for your future generations for i'm israel so everything counts you don't have to sit for hours even one capital tell him and you know what the more you say the more you're going to love it that i can tell you you will be inspired it brings you closer to hashem you know when you see the words when you see when david hamillah writes how he made a mistake the vote lebat sheva when he when he went together with baksheva and he made a mistake not a sin but a mistake and he has shown to forgive whenever we make a mistake whenever i make a mistake that's the to my go-to nun aleph which says no please please hashem please hashem connect to me lay the harbrelia look him hashem you created me such a beautiful heart [Music] don't send me away from you don't cast me away there's so many beautiful words that come to my mind into hillary you just you need to turn off your phone when you say to hillary don't be distracted and if you're with people in your home let them know this is my time right now don't disturb and you'll see that this will become the most precious gift that you have might to heal him or my best friend beautiful so uh people are loving your answer by the way a lot of people had this question how to connect it to helen so i'm happy to see that you answered it let's see if we have any other questions anybody else wanna okay the tele let me see i also want women who are listening not to be hard on themselves you know you don't have to walk around to hillary 24 7. okay you know what does hashem want from us hashem doesn't want us to go up onto a mountain and starve ourselves you know and and and just sit there meditating hashem once says part of this world hashem said to abram be abraham be a blessing so we have to have balance in our lives we have to heal him we have food but we make a brothel we take the physical and we make it into something spiritual we have our families whatever you have in life ask how is my today better than my yesterday and if i ask myself that question then i can know where i'm at make a hashbone make an accounting for yourself and if you feel that today wasn't such a good day it's okay because you know what the ezra hashem with hashem's help tomorrow is another day and i do better tomorrow as long as i'm honest with myself that's what i have to do be honest i'll fall down you think we're all angels you think of course not but then i have to say what can i do tomorrow that will be better than today and how is my today better than my yesterday that's how i lose my potential inside of me absolutely so we just have a new day new beginning and we shouldn't look back we should look forward beautiful rabbits absolutely everybody should be having a beautiful table look at the word for table there's so much secrets in judaism kodesh okay the word for table is what it comes from the word shaliah messenger because my shohan my table is my messenger for what for because when i sit at a table i don't want to just sit by myself what does a steak taste like if i'm just eating by myself i share with someone oh now it's delicious right it's absolutely my fun i make a bracha i say bowie hashem come into my life i bring my family i talk i share okay if i can do all that i've changed the life that's that's it that's what hashem wants from us so i'm asking everyone listening let's not be hard on ourselves because women are very hard on themselves see the bra see the good that you do there's so much good in this world that comes from women absolutely wow beautiful words people have so many questions but i think we're going to have robinson back some time again because i see we have so many questions everybody is just in love with the robinson like i knew what people would i love this is the only part not the only but it's hard but i'm not able to go into different communities and speak because we have such mika israel we have some incredible women so i'd love to come back and actually uh followers from all over right now from all different states and countries watching and listening in which is amazing how we can reach so many people and inspire all at once thank you robertson it was such an honor to have you thank you for inspiring me and everyone else you are just the true inspiration and honestly am i the only one who was moved to tears thank you so much i want to end this i say one more thing yeah custom it's a min hug that when you have your hebrew birthday it's like you're born again you have the power of braha it's like as if you're coming into the world again tonight is my hebrew birthday so i want to give listening abraca and the bracha is that we should all be ezra hashem see the fruits of all our tears of all our tiffi loads and we should have the yeshua and the bracha we should have real shabbat we should have shalom whoever need to shallow peace in their homes with their families in their hearts hashem should give us all shalom hashem should give us this means so much to us to be able to see the brach in our lives and tovah we should know what's good in life whatever we ask for should give it for toe for good we should see the yeshua very very quickly bim hera and we should be in your shalayam irha kodish very quickly i thank you so much happy birthday rabbits and thank you for the beautiful thank you hashem bless you at 120. may you be healthy and strong surrounded by thank you beautiful descendants and you keep inspiring everyone around you thank you you are amazing victoria thank you this is a wonderful project thank you hazak thank you hozza thank you robert it was a pleasure we'll have her on again guys so now we're going to have java palti who is one second i have to connect her is actually also very inspiring and you can learn more about her i don't know if she's there let's see i removed it how amazing is the robinson slavy young guys wolf honestly every time i listen to her i'm just speechless i'm just so moved by her and wow her words so jafa she's joining us she's collecting i'm so excited to have her on hello i'm so excited to have you okay hold on let me just love you give the zoom you gotta move backwards because of the two devices i just want to make sure that i am in the center okay ah where are we hi hello now i we finally we finally met in person for the first time yes we did in miami on my instagram is completely on your zoom not on the instagram do you guys hear an echo is it completely like the lowest setting i think i shut it off completely let me see how you still here now slightly um i heard an echo almost the whole time before with the rebelton i don't know if other people did i didn't know but maybe the other people did maybe we should turn off the zoom volume does that even make sense no but then they won't hear you right it'll be a problem problem right okay now my zoom volume is down for me and my instagram volume is on okay perfect echo guys on instagram can you give me a thumbs up if you if it's an echo um oh wait somebody said good oh oh we just see you fuzzy yeah we don't see you so so well so i'm fuzzy yes we don't see you clearly is this better yes slightly not so well ah why is this happening i don't know all this technical difficulties i know um someone's saying oh okay they're saying no echo just blurry i also see blurry you know what let me let me get off and come back on okay okay and let's see if it's better uh yes yes let's just only see a drop of my face yes a lot of full face i just feel like this part okay that's that's weird let me let me okay yes request me again request me again yes okay sorry guys this is live so we're constantly having difficulties but we'll get ahead give it a promise we'll have jaffa back on i'm just waiting for her to request again let's see if she's going to request me put her back on there she is okay okay tell me if this is better much better right much better right yes okay you see my face and i'm not blurry and there's no echo slight echo not blurry we can work with this it just i'm sorry that's what i hear myself twice let me make sure yeah they hear it echo you'd think i would know i mean i've been doing zoom since march like you'd think we would know how how to do this this is too confusing for me i'm getting old this is ridiculous okay hang on ridiculous okay okay put my volume up and i'm putting my volume back down i have an echo i think i'm better now yes yes okay i have an echo that's weird i you know what maybe oh wait you have an echo they're saying they're telling me that i don't have an echo do i have an echo i think i'm better now no no you don't have an echo oh okay that's good okay we're good we can start good first of all hi hello today yes i'm so excited to have you first of all people still have more patience after after all that it's hard to be the second person it's hard to follow also as well yes yes exactly but i've been watching you for a while and i think you are so inspirational so entertaining you're so unique and however you know the way you express your message and i'm just um girl crushing on you so that's what i have to have in the show and i have i have to tell you that my middle name is the alpha so it is oh we have that soul connection now now we see why we're connected thank god i'm so excited do you want to tell my followers a little about you so they get to know you a little bit sure okay first of all hi to everyone that i don't know on instagram hi to everyone that i do know ghana thank you for that also hi everybody on zoom okay bro everyone on zoom can i challenge you all to turn your videos on i would love to see your faces no videos are on and i feel like i am talking to a chocolate bar i even forgot about a bunch of black boxes i even forgot that there is a participant sorry i was totally focusing on this but hi hi recipe coming right up okay so anyway so um a little bit about me you said yes where do i begin i am my name is jafapaldi i live in miami and we just met in miami last week the two of us are you still here are you back home i am back home oh you're back home okay oh that you're in your house okay yes yeah you'll come back soon um and i am a wife that's my number one i am a mother that's my number two i am a torah educator that's my number three and i'm a motivational speaker which means i am unemployed gulp and uh no that's fine no you're not you you're you're inspiring souls that's that's the biggest issue yeah thank you yeah i just don't make money on that but that's fine um not in this world and make all my money in the next one yeah the next world actually i'll take it i'll take it that's because yeah so so that's a tiny bit about me and um and yeah i'm just so excited to be here i'm excited to have you i've been trying to get you to speak for razak for a while like corona hate and all this craziness but i had to have you on my first show because who else would i you know you're incredible i'm so honored really really i'm so honored and i'm happy to have you part of the ambassador for the lush and horror campaign as well of course we'll be back we'll we'll get we're we're gonna get into that later yes i'm excited so let's collecting a little bit of tuba spot and we have a tree and it's trying to grow but the winds are blowing too hard and there's so many things going against the trees trees growth same thing in claudia israel a lot of times we want growth in our lives and there's just so many distractions so many tragedies so many things going against us how can we get past those distractions and hard times and push ourselves for the real growth ah that's a good question that's um i guess it's hard to answer on one foot because it's all encompassing there's so much to get into on that but it's really a good question and especially first of all in general in life but especially for those on social media this could be really difficult and i'll tell you why because we consume so much information we consume and we consume and we consume and sometimes we don't know is what i'm consuming um something that aligns with my soul's purpose is it something that aligns with torah what is it that i'm consuming where is this message coming from who is the the messenger giving this message what movement do i join what bandwagon do i jump onto what hashtag do i use exactly right there's so many distractions there's also a lot a lot of negativity um and the the first thing that i would say is that i would suggest over here is try as much as possible to stay away from any negativity if you don't have to watch the news don't watch the news i never watch the news i don't know the news exists i'm anti news some people tell me oh i i don't watch tv i only watch the news the news is the worst part of tv absolutely go watch some non-existent show some comedy that's fine the news is awful this is horrible yes i agree so i stay within the news if there's something i need to know about i end up finding out about it but i find out about it from a non-biased way right i do my own research i learn about it from sources that i trust so number one stay away from negativity don't watch the news stay away from negative people don't you know surround yourself with as much positivity as possible that's the first thing i would say because we have to develop we have to become mentally strong we have to come become emotionally strong to become spiritually strong the thing is connecting to tuba shrap that um the the the strongest part of the tree a tree is only as strong as its roots are and you know that uh we as human beings are compared to a tree but compared to a tree why is that so there are many different reasons we could understand we have the same growth process right that a soul first has to get external nourishment and then assault by the way i didn't hear a lot about the representative before i hope i'm not being redundant in anything if i am you can let me know okay so you're great okay so um a tree so we have this external stimulation that's a tree yes it needs the rain in order to start growing and then he goes through an internal change where the sack begins to rise and then all of a sudden you see this change happening and the blood and the fruits blossom the flowers blossom a human being is the same thing we need the external stimulation something to inspire us but then we got to take that inspiration and internalize it right and then and then create that change within so we have a lot of similarities in our growth process between a human and a tree um but the most solid the a tree is only as strong as its roots are so the idea is to make sure that there are solid roots if you are afraid of getting distracted of being pulled into the negative being pulled into things that don't align with your soul's mission and don't align with torah don't align with your hash right then um this is what we need to solidify and ground that would be a good word when talking about trees we need to ground ourselves um and in our roots so that means we have to do things again surround ourselves with positivity surround ourselves um create things an environment where we become mentally strong emotionally strong and spiritually strong absolutely and cut out all the negative distractions just focus on yeah you know things that inspire us a tree has to be pruned why do you prune a tree you prune a tree because eventually there are some branches on there that become sick that become wilted that become dysfunctional and in order to create a healthier tree you have to trim those branches off so sometimes we have to do that we evaluate our lives and reassess and say what do i have in my life that is causing me to be sick whether it's physically whether it's emotionally the levels of anxiety that we live with today right what's causing me my me as a tree to be unwell and we gotta trim those branches off agree a thousand percent let's say about that i i love the answer beautiful i agree with you a thousand percent every day when i wake up i evaluate whatever doesn't give me purpose whatever doesn't give me positivity whatever you know causes me stress has got to go um hundred percent get rid of it and you know what else i want to see something else that's really the power of us as human beings um in this comparison to a tree so if it's fascinating the way a tree grows is it breathes in it has to inhale carbon dioxide which is a poison correct right but it inhales the carbon dioxide and what does it exhale oxygen it exhales oxygen how crazy is that right it breathes in carbon dioxide which is a poison but it doesn't exhale carbon dioxide it takes that poison and it turns it into oxygen and the message in that for us as being compared to trees that's a power that we have as human beings the power that we have is that we are able to take in so much poison so much negativity so much hate us as humans and especially us as jews right the anti-semitism and whatever other hate we're taking in but we don't exhale hate we inhale hate we exhale love absolutely we inhale violence we exhale peace right we inhale poison negativity we exhale nourishment we exhale positivity beautiful power so no matter what we hear no matter what we're exposed to first i'll try to be only exposed to positivity but even the negativity that seeps in we don't have to let it turn us negative we can take it and turn it into something positive and exhale the positivity and nourish the world with the oxygen especially as women we are all about nourishing and giving love and positivity no matter what even if we're having a bad day you know how it is we put our happy and we do our thing so that's yes part of us yes uh how can the woman of coliseum help uh our fellow jew in such a time of pain and suffering how do we make a difference and help out another jew another female how do we lift someone up because as we all know corona affected so many women i'm focusing on females now sorry boys um women are having much more responsibility much more stress handling so much more and sometimes we feel so hopeless so how do we help how do we lift our fellow jewish woman in this time okay so first of all um there's something that we all really need to become familiar with two things actually the first one is empathy it is so important for us to develop the media of empathy of being able to look at another person and see them for for who they really are and not judge them by circumstances not judge them by specific behaviors not judge them by external appearances every single one of us has an entire inner world that no one knows anything about right and we walk around with that inner world and sometimes we have the biggest smile on our faces and we're in so much pain inside and sometimes we're struggling so deeply and we're struggling in so many ways we could be struggling um emotionally we could be struggling physically we could be struggling financially we could be struggling in our relationships there's so much or in parenting whatever it is so much struggling we need to develop the media of empathy which means when we look at another person our immediate reaction should be one of love and not one of judgement absolutely right and i mean this is something to work on i'm talking about an ideal but of course we work on it step by step right so that's the first thing let's work on being empathetic towards other people um another thing is we need to um fortify ourselves as i said before work on our own roots on creating emotional health emotional strength mental strength um and then we also have to help other people with that and and something that's super important that we can do for others is give them hope encourage people show people how resilient they are and and i'm sorry i don't mean anything um any kind of offense by this at all to anyone but we do live in a society of where we're taught so often that the most important thing are our feelings and our emotions and they take precedence over everything and over everyone and and that we have to allow ourselves to to feel um inadequate if that's how we feel don't we can't give ourselves pep talks we can't tell ourselves how resilient we are because we're not allowing ourselves you know this is a culture that glorifies victimhood and it glorifies staying in your slump and saying that we get validation for being a victim there is no possible way for us to be successful in life for us to be happy for us to have healthy relationships if we remain victims in life we need to know how resilient we are how strong we are and even when we're in pain and even when things are difficult and even when we're scared and even when we're anxious and uncertain we have the power we have the ability to grow to make change to create our own certainty within the uncertainty we have the ability to have a better life we're not we can't always control the circumstances in our lives but we could always control our quality of life we can decide we get to determine what kind of life we're going to have even though we can't control other circumstances in it absolutely and right then that's our power don't let anyone take that power away from you absolutely absolutely i agree with you a thousand percent so many people are struggling and it's just a matter of picking yourself up and not being a victim and don't making yourself don't be afraid get up and it's don't fight absolutely and fight fight for whatever it is and fight for yourself absolutely exactly because there are so many people throughout this entire pandemic who who i know have been encouraged to allow themselves to wallow in their anxiety if you don't feel like getting dressed today don't get dressed just stay in your pajamas let yourself feel now i'm not saying everyone has to get dressed and i'm not saying there were plenty of things i said in my pajamas it was just so comfortable right that's one of the great the great parts of of being on zoom and being out alive instead of in person i'm wearing my slippers right now like this is amazing right you do right absolutely of course i'm i'm dressed from here up all the time you know so of course be comfortable but wallowing you know in your it woe is to me and and and excusing yourself for for feeling um you know whatever negative feelings you feel is very detrimental to growth and to health every type of health so the thing is that mindset is so important over here my this this mindset is everything and and so many of us fall into two basic categories right we are people who could either be in a fixed mindset or in a growth mindset a fixed mindset is someone who thinks that they already know whatever there is to know i know all the information i know how to do everything i don't do that you have somebody in your mind with a fixed mindset right i'm sure we're all picturing someone that we know right they're never going to be inspired by anything they're cynical about everything i know all there is to know that's a fixed mindset okay then we have a growth mindset growth mindset is the opposite it's someone who always wants to learn something from someone else always evolving always wants to be inspired always thirsty for knowledge thirsty for yes agree yes exactly or it doesn't have to be to that extreme of like always wanting to know if it's somebody who lives life with a mind that's open to growth they learn something from messages they learn lessons from things that happen in life this is a growth mindset i don't need to tell you which one of these mindsets is going to be more successful in life and happier right and have healthier relationships right obviously a growth mindset but here's the cool thing you want to hear this this is something that i that i um an observation that i had over the pandemic okay people in a fixed mindset tend to spiral down on two words people with a growth mindset tend to elevate on two words and they are the same two words they are what if in a growth in a fixed mindset what if becomes all the things that might go wrong in a growth mindset what if becomes all the things that might go right right exactly all the opportunities what ifs yeah it's incredible so in a fixed mindset what what a what if what if i lose my job what if i never get married what if i get sick what if someone what if i lose that what if what if what if a growth mindset is well this didn't work out but what if there's something better for me right what if i'm having someone better for me than this guy what if i lost this job but that's because there's another part of me that i need to get to know now and there's something better for me out there so our job really if we want happiness and if we want um contentment and success in life is to take the what if and flip it from anxiety to possibility absolutely right and recognize that there's a there's there's a certain bracha in the uncertainty right because if let's say vicky let's say in march okay the beginning of march at the beginning of the whole pandemic if you were told you personally if you were told that you are going to have to be in quarantine for the next year plus and then wear a mask for the next year and be socially this what what would you have done would have done i would have been i would have been in this belief i think we would have gone out of our minds absolutely the fear would set it we would be terrified and we would have been i don't even know how many people i don't even know what happened we would have been like this is impossible that's right it would have been yeah absolutely but how many people um but with the fact that we were told that you have to be in quarantine for two weeks let's just stay over two weeks two weeks just three weeks and then another two weeks just one more month one more month and it will all be gone we'll be fine we were able to do that because there was a blessing in the uncertainty right that sometimes uncertainty scares us so much it's so frightening because we don't know we're treading water by the way are you a swimmer vicky you like to swim i actually can't swim you guys win no people who people out there who enjoy swimming okay swimming is fun it's enjoyable i don't i personally don't love to swim but there are people who do and and you get into the pool and you love it and you go you swim to one engine to the other end and it's an enjoyable activity but let's say you had to tread water have you ever had to tread water that's probably what you do in the water because you don't swim right right treading water is so difficult it is absolutely exhausting it is very scary because you just have to exert so much energy to stay on top of the water so that you don't drown but you're not going anywhere and you don't know how long you're gonna have to be there for my friends 2020 was a year of treading water that is what we were doing okay we were just there trying not to drown but it was so tiring and we didn't know where we're going and we didn't know how long it was going to take and it was so difficult right that uncertainty is is so frightening and this is what what caused so much anxiety for people and it caused so much extra pain and so much extra difficulty in people's lives right but it's it's interesting to understand that uncertainty is something that as a child children thrive on surprise on the element of surprise the element of not knowing am i right absolutely for my kids it's right it's incredible they love surprise parties do you would you prefer surprise party now would you want to be prepared for a party i need to be prepared for it at this age you don't want surprise parties exactly as children we thrive on it usually of course there's exceptions to every rule generally speaking children they don't care my when your kids were younger right um or any anybody out there right how excited were they to like that to discuss um what they wanted what do they want to be when they grow up right oh they have every answer in the world this is one of the the milos of children okay and this by the way is um just to bring in a source now from the torah uh avram's wife sarah when sarah was being introduced to us and the torah tells us these were the lives of sarah and it tells us her age how old she was when she died um she was 127 but the torah doesn't say she was 127. how is it written out it says she was a hundred and twenty and seven right like cut up and you look at that and you're like that's weird it's almost like you know when you write um a term paper and it has to have a thousand words so you can add in all the words and make it like right exactly the torah is not a term paper it doesn't need extra words and it doesn't have extra words so why is it written that way so rashi saves the day and he jumps in and he says it's because when summer was a hundred it was like she was 20 in her youth and in her purity and when she was 20 was like she was seven also in her youth and that sounds beautiful and romantic but then you think about it for a minute and you're like what why is rashi praising youth like we live in a society that worships youth right exactly but what rashi he's in that like level what's so good about youth and this is this is what i was thinking of maybe what rashi means about that when he's praising her youth because there is something so special about youth about children they have a curiosity for life right anyone here who's ever met a young child how many questions have they asked you all day every day and also children also have no fear exactly right children are generally not afraid and and children are so curious they ask questions sometimes the questions are ridiculous and they drive you up the wall right mommy what's that a dog why you have a question and question of the question by the way just just a little tip it's very tempting to push our children away when they ask us too many questions sometimes we just want like enough already and we just push them away we don't want to answer them or we're just kind of like uh-huh they're like that wasn't a question um but it's very tempting to push them away when they have all those questions and i just want to emphasize that if we don't want to answer our children's questions when they're four they're not going to want to ask us questions when they're 14. absolutely right so let's have that in mind how important it is to give them that time uh when they're four um but the point is that they're so curious they want to do everything they want to be everything my kids always you know when they're younger what do you want to be when you go up everything i just want to see everything they can't choose remember one time when my youngest was five i remember and he always had these crazy things he wanted to be when he grew up and one day i said to him again i said so what do you want to do when you go up and he said i think i want to be a doctor and i was so proud you know i'm like finally a normal response and then he goes or a dinosaur okay the point is though that that i think is what what rashi was referring to sarah was so full of life she didn't get jaded by life even as an older woman she was so enthusiastic about life so curious because here's why children are so curious because they know that there is still so much that they don't know there's a big vast world out there and they want to know everything about it right they want to know as much as possible about that world so they're going to ask and they're going to get to know something happens to us as we become adults we just we our curiosity turns into anxiety anxiety we fear knowledge we fear right we fear life we feel like we feel fair uncertainty right as a child they don't care that they don't know what they want to be when they grow up they change their mind every week as an adult it's petrifying that we don't know what our future is and i think that this is some a lesson that we really need to understand that we have to let go uncertainty is abraham for us it's hashem saying i got your back you don't have to know everything you don't have to be in control of everything that's the brother and uncertainty i like it beautiful answer well inspirational uh i'm afraid do we have like an hour i don't remember the question anymore we went way off one second i'm just worried it's gonna turn off does it i never did this before instagram live has like an hour that it shuts down not anymore oh okay so we can go on all right great let's go on but by the way you know how to save this right are you gonna save it yes i'm gonna save it yes so people can't watch it absolutely because a lot of people ask me to save it yes i will okay so save it afterwards okay well so another question i have is in other agriculture there's a concept called greenhouse where the plant is stuck inside the greenhouse and it protects you know it's for from uh you know outside dangers so too during the pandemic we're stuck in a greenhouse for example in quarantine and we're with our families more than ever how can we take advantage of this opportunity to improve our relationship with our children with our husband what can we do ah okay first of all i would like to take the word stuck and replace it with something else can we do that absolutely because the word stuck has a very negative connotation right we're stuck at home it's almost like we're imprisoned we don't want to be here right now i know we don't want to be in quarantine but when we start off with the negative mindset then it's hard to change into something positive right and we're really not stuck in the beginning of the pandemic i used to say all the time we're not stuck at home we're safe at home right now i don't know if that's still the same accurate you know because in the beginning it was really you know there were differences in what's happening now in the second wave and the third wave and whatever also it was kind of exciting to spend two weeks with the kids and the husband but you know now it's getting kind of you know trying not to kill each other or lose your mind i know exactly and the truth is relationships are always hard even when you're not thrown on top of each other you know 24 hours a day relationships are hard so now on top of this you know it's interesting because for many years i was actually a life coach and relationships coach and then i stopped doing that because when i started becoming when i became a motivational speaker um i was much more stimulated on the stage in front of hundreds and thousands of women than i was doing one-on-one i almost felt like i was like bored or i didn't have the time for the one-on-one because i was so busy doing bigger projects so i kind of outgrew coaching and then the pandemic started and i got right back into well first of all i wasn't traveling anywhere but also um i the phone didn't stop ringing the phone didn't stop ringing everybody was like are you are you coaching anymore i can't imagine my shallow bias you know has gone down four levels it was just so difficult my kids i can't handle them and i got right back back into coaching over the past year because i saw so much so much struggle in relationships and all different forms of relationships so it's so so this is a really really good question right so the first thing that i want to say is that we all have difficult relationships in our lives and we have easier relationships in our lives right and i want to i want to go back we spoke about avraham and sarah sarah and now i want to continue this is a very interesting observation okay you ready for this i know you're probably so tired because you've been on this live for an hour before i came on are you good you're okay i'm good i actually had meetings like seven meetings today so i'm good i just lost my voice a little but i'm good you're so busy always but you're doing such good work you are shining your light in this world as i said hazak wanted me to do this for a while and i was like you know what i do it now what i'm gonna do just do it you're amazing you're actually amazing thank you um go ahead let's hear the i can't wait to hear you actually still awake okay yes so um where was i oh so here's an interesting observation abraham his main media was hesed was kindness so he married sarah who was gevura she was the strong one in the relationship and that way they had a proper balance in their marriage okay then we have yitzhak yitzhak was what was his main media his main characteristic was gevura his was strength so he married rifka rifta was and they had a nice balance in their marriage then we have yaakov yaakov was tifaret which is the balance of present and gavura just saying something is going to who does he need to marry so he needed two wives he needed raphael and leia wow okay right to create a balancing a much bigger yeah a much bigger balance in everything right now here's what's fascinating i want to talk a little bit about rachel and leia right now rachel and leia these names listen up this is for you everybody knows everyone always talks about how leia was raphael was the beloved wife and leia was the hated wife right but we also know that if you really read through the sukkim you see that she was not hated at all jakob loved her very very much there's also a misunderstanding in the word sin ah that people interpret it to mean hate but really really it means rejected doesn't mean hate like the term athena right which is what we're very familiar with baseless hatred between jews but when we hear that concept we think doesn't apply to me i don't hate anyone and we don't most of us don't hate anyone it doesn't apply to me but it does because sin atrium doesn't mean baseless hatred it actually means baseless rejection it means when you reject people for no reason just because they're different than you are okay um getty just told me that i'm fuzzy does everybody see me funny yes i see you fuzzy too but i'm so concentrated on what you're saying yes you're you're fuzzy i don't know why that happened and i don't know if there's anything we can do about it should i just wait and see if it gets your wi-fi uh you have a good connection let's see now you're kind of disappeared on oh yes uh is it better not really a little better i don't know what what what does everyone else see guys do you see me okay oh forgive me so sweet she's like but we're listening okay i don't know am i still very blurry guys so we need to hear what you're better i see you better i don't know what everyone else is okay ah i don't know what to do okay let me know if it gets a little bit better okay all right i see a thumbs up okay ah no still fuzzy okay let me finish this this idea and see if it's getting a little bit better okay i don't know oh i'm sorry okay so here's the thing so it wasn't that raphael and leia that raphael was more beloved by yaakov and that leia was hated or rejected by yakov right it wasn't at all that he loved both of them very very much the thing is that rachel was a more lovable person she had a very lovable nature she was she was sweet she was cute she was easy to love and i'm sure we all know people like that in our lives people who are just easy to love leia was a more complicated person it was harder to love her right it was harder work she was more complex she was darker rachel was light and fun and enjoyable and lovable leia was darker and more complicated so she was just harder to love but yaakov worked on loving her and he loved her and loved her and loved her but it wasn't easy to love her and that's really what it meant between their two the two wives and exactly and here's the thing we all have raphael's in our lives we all have layers in our lives we have people in our families who are so easy to love they're light they're enjoyable they're fun they're lovable and it's easy to love them and then we all have layers in our lives the people that are just harder to love right and these are the people we need to work on loving in the end by the way leia was the mother of the future mashiach okay let's have that in mind okay coming from her because that's what happens when you when you embrace the leia in your life right you're able to create something super super powerful and i just want to point out something also if there's someone in your life who doesn't bring out a good part of you okay you have some and again i just want to emphasize by the way in everything here i'm not talking about any severe mental illness i'm not talking about personality disorders i'm talking about in the regular um you know rational relationship of life okay regular human behavior because there are exceptions when we're talking about severe personality disorders and certain you know um high levels of mental illness okay um here's i just want to point out something really interesting when you have a light in your life when you have someone who who doesn't make you feel good right you know those people who just they make you feel insecure or they make you feel inept or they need make you feel inadequate not good enough insecure right when you have someone in your life who makes you feel like this this is not about you the one the way a person makes you feel and i want you to to remember this in your head right now remember the way i'm quoting it to you okay the way a person makes you feel exactly the way they feel about themselves so somebody who makes you feel not good enough it's because they don't feel good enough and they project that onto you so when there's someone in your life who makes it really difficult for you because you just don't feel good around them stop for a minute and realize this is not about you don't take it on yourself don't feel that negative feeling this is not on you this is a window into how they feel about themselves and this by the way goes back to what we said before about learning empathy because if we are able to look at the windows of people's lives that they give us to see them through and if we look forward it's always there then instead of taking things personally and instead of getting offended or insulted or feeling negative in any way from these people we are able to look at them and say oh i feel so bad they feel so insecure that's why they're making me feel insecure maybe there's a way that i can boo help them feel better about themselves maybe there's a way that i can give them a little bit more love right so just to have this this mindset switch and to understand this is not about you but we're not here to be victims okay this is this is about seeing how we could create more positivity and more light so let's so let's work a little let's have that understanding and just to answer your question let's work on something practical now okay the number one way for us to really build our relationships before covid during covet after code okay all the same hold and save okay all the same is we need to learn to focus on the things that are going right and not on the things that are going wrong there's always going to be things going wrong the house is always going to be messier than we want it to be nobody has a perfect life no matter how good it looks on instagram right i cannot louder for the people in the back please and because this is a huge problem i know so many people who have destroyed their lives but not on purpose it was a progression of believing everything that they see on instagram and and trying to live a life that doesn't exist because the people that you're comparing yourself to are not either living those lives nobody has a perfect life nobody no no matter how good their life looks in 15 seconds they have so many struggles so many everyone there's not a person on this planet earth who doesn't have struggles or issues that has to be understood and that's why we're on earth because we're here to to become the best versions of ourselves and we need to overcome those struggles that's why we're here right absolutely so right so it's important to understand there's always going to be things going wrong you're always going to burn your dinner your child is going to misbehave your spouse is going to say something that gets on your nerves there's always going to be things going wrong we can focus on all it's okay we can focus on all the things going wrong or we can look around at all the things that went right today all right look how beautiful my child did this look at look what my husband did for me today or for the kids today or what there's we we need to make a conscious effort every day to sit down and make a list of all the things that went right and not all the things that went wrong and i just want to point out right we were talking about rachel and leia how everyone has someone in their life that's a rachel and someone that's a leia right i want to tell you something abigail thank you and thank you to all of you i'm loving your comments thank you so much um i want to point out something else listen carefully okay not only do we all have rachels and leia's in our lives but we each have a raphael and leia within us right absolutely we each have a part of ourselves that is so lovable and that we enjoy and that's easy to love right and then we have the parts of ourselves that are the layers they're so much harder to love we don't want it there we don't like it and we fight it and then we're angry at ourselves and then we're we feel guilty about things and whatever it is every part of ourselves that we were given we were given from hashem because we needed to reach our mission and life to fulfill our potential in this world every part of us there's nothing bad it's the good the better and the beautiful that we have inside of us so we have to learn to not only embrace the rachel in us but we have to embrace the leia also that's our job okay i like that true words okay i love it beautiful you said it girl i don't know you're just amazing i'm like listening to her like yes yes um thank you so much how can we as women internalize this idea of greatness of a woman how can we remind ourselves of this on a daily basis to keep this important message in our mind i know i'm asking this title but every woman has its own advice so i want to hear your uh okay so i want to make sure i understand the question you said how can we internalize the idea of greatness so yeah yeah how do we internalize the idea of greatness of a woman how can we remind ourselves of this on a daily basis ah okay and to keep this message in our minds every day you know yeah okay so first of all um this has you know we have to start from the beginning of um thank you everyone i'm just i i'm trying not to focus on all the comments but i i appreciate that they're writing the comments so really thank you i love you all i told you you will love her thank you um i did not write a book yet but it is in the plans because they're asking okay anyway so um so the first thing we need to understand is that we do have greatness within us because you said how can we internalize it the first thing to know is to recognize the greatness that we have within us okay each one of us we were given this this this an incredible unique you know even the fact that we are in this world do you know how many people didn't make it to this world right we were born we were selected do you know what the chances of you have been being born in this generation to your family in your exact life situation do you know what statistically how rare that is it's like one in 400 trillion or something like that like crazy exactly and you were chosen you were chosen for a reason you were chosen every single one of you watching this right now you guys at instagram you guys on zoom every single one of you you were chosen you were selected to be in this world right here right now and sometimes you know it's so easy to again as we said before compare ourselves to others we have things in life that look we have disappointments in life right we're disappointed sometimes in our families we're disappointed in our life circumstances disappointed in things how many of you out there are living your plan a life right the life that you planned from the minute you were 10 years old when you planned your life for the future another one i'm telling you i think anyone here above the age of 30 for sure maybe even like 25 right we're not living our plan a lives every day we're not leaving our plan lives forget about since we're kids exactly and and that can be something that's very frightening for people we had a plan or we had an expectation and it didn't happen and sometimes you know it actually is very scary what do i do now i didn't i i didn't this is not the vision this is what i wanted you know we have children please god those of us who are blessed to have children right um do you know what children are i hate to say it like this but it's the truth children are an accident at birth because you have no idea who you're giving birth to you have no idea you don't know what kind of personality they're going to have you don't know what kind of physical looks they're going to have you don't know um what their health is going to be like their mental health emotional health physical love you don't know their level of intelligence you know anything and you're giving birth and yet by the way if you ask any expectant mother when she you know she's pregnant you go over to her and you say excuse me ma'am are you going to love your child be careful with boundaries whatever are you going to love your child what's that mother going to say of course what kind of question is that and you say to her yeah but what if your child turns out to be a brat like the neighbor's kid you know like one of those runny nosed children you're still gonna love your child what's she gonna say of course it's not even a question right most mothers again i'm talking about in the normal healthy rational realm um most mothers every mother loves her child before she even meets them right and then we have this child and sometimes we have greatest expectations or my kid is going to be the smartest and prettiest and the most talented and then you have the kid and they're wonderful in many ways but they might not be that right every kid is a surprise every kid is a surprise exactly and it's amazing it's fascinating and then you have also in relationships you know how many times i taught brides for many years how many times i would get phone calls you know a few months later or a year later yeah i think i married the wrong person right why did you marry the wrong person mostly because the expectation they had for a husband is not who this person is and you and i tell you didn't marry the wrong person it's just time to make an adjustment of expectation right now we gotta figure it out right so we have all of these um disappointments in life you i wanted to own a home by the time i was the stage i wanted to have a car by the time i was at edge i want whatever right and we don't always things don't always go the way we want them to and the problem is that often when this happens we feel like we're living our plan b life not our plan a life right and not even b by the way it could be c d e we got all the way till z pick your letter all right absolutely yeah exactly and and and and what happens when you feel like you're living a plan b or c or d first of all are we really living we feel this is going back to uh victimhood we feel deprived we feel gypped we feel like we're like a failure you feel like a failure exactly or we feel like we didn't get what we deserved we deserve more we deserve different and we start having a lot of resentment resentment towards our spouse we sent towards our children resentment towards our parents resentment towards hashem right because we're not living we don't have what we feel we deserve by the way deserve is my least favorite word okay i hate the word dessert i'm gonna use the word hate that's very strong deserve is so dangerous because we've we keep feeling like we deserve we deserve we do what do we do why do we deserve anything everything we have is a blessing and a gift that we did nothing to deserve we just we got it because hashem loves us right and when we start falling into this pattern of deserve deserved deserve then we never feel like we have enough we felt like what we need but we deserve more and but i don't have this okay i have this but i don't have that right and we always want more and more and more we're never satisfied we could never just be happy so we start feeling resentful we start feeling bitter we're never satisfied with the things we have in life we just keep wanting more and more and more right so this is this is something so important for us to understand this this this level of of feeling like we deserve something constantly okay be super careful with that the world owes us nothing it was here before us remember that okay we hold the world the world doesn't owe us exactly right everything is a gift you're right a lot of people feel entitled for to get the best of everything in life absolutely yeah absolutely basically this definitely leads to entitlement a hundred percent and now i totally forgot the rest of my sentence because i interrupted myself when i went off on a tangent without deserve i don't remember what i was saying too but no no i interrupted myself by getting into dessert the whole concept of dessert i don't remember what i was saying let me see if the comments will remind me i was talking about expectations yeah focus on gratitude all of that is good i don't remember if it comes back to me i'll i'll finish my sentence but um but yeah but the idea is that um that the greater the oh that's what i was saying about living a plan a versus plan b right so um so the thing is here's what what's important to understand okay again i want you to remember the way i'm quoting this to you guys okay remember i'll be writing this stuff down remember this okay if you are living a life that you consider plan b okay or yes hannah just said or plan z okay you're living a life you think that you're not living your plan a and you're living your plan b or c or d the life that you're living is the life hashem gave you and that means and that means that your plan a was completely irrelevant it didn't even exist because your plan b is hashem's plan a does that make sense your plan b is hashem's plan a so now we got to take the plan b and flip it into a plan a exactly right so we're going to flip the what if from anxiety to possibility we're going to flip the plan b into the plan a okay that's our job and i want to point out and i guess we can end with this because i know it's getting late i want a point unless there's something else you want to say of course but i just mean i'll end this with this um i just want to point out that as women okay especially we have a superpower and um we're quite a few superpowers one of them is um right this is how we were let set free of egypt we didn't focus on being victims we focused on being free and taking control of life later on right and um one of our superpowers is resilience we have this power to get up and resilience by the way it doesn't just mean um jumping back up it actually means jumping forward okay that's real resilience but another superpower that we have is um brought down in asia you're familiar with asia kyle of course okay you got serenaded friday nights every friday night every friday night right it's beautiful so many of us get serenaded every friday night with this beautiful poem of isiah okay that's okay and i want to say something for a minute because the word a chef hail is very triggering for people okay asia kyle it's like this word we were always taught growing up that we have to be like this this 19 perfectly yeah housewife you know always in the kitchen with the apron and mixing the batter and you know with the barefoot and pregnant or rather if it's in the 1950s with heels and pearls but like you know this this ideal asia style exactly and the problem is that we think that that's the goal that we have to be that perfect perfect wife and mother all the time and then we're not so then we feel like a failure and we feel like i am i'm not an asian kyle so i'm i'm a level lower than i'm supposed to be you know that we live in that in that guilt right which it has which is it has a terrible vicious cycle to it so we we but that's a misunderstanding of aisha kyle the national style is not that woman it's not that woman with 17 kids who teach it in every school and a woman who's always cooking and baking no no no can i tell you what anisha kyle is you ready ready how i define asia kyle in asia kyle is a woman who knows when it's time to buy takeout i like that right that's an asia tile it's someone who lives in the pool sorry she's a woman who lives in the presence of her reality she knows what are her priorities what are what are my needs what are my family's needs and what is my job what do they need from me right now what can i do for them she prioritizes that's initial kyle and every single one of us can be that and i want to end off with the first verse of ishaq khail which is aisha khan who can find this incredible woman of valor sorry just plugging in my phone because i got the message that i'm low battery who can find this incredible woman of valor right who is she does she exist sorry guys fix the zoom now there we go okay who is this incredible woman of valor um then the the rest of the verse her value is so great that she's greater than pearls and this is very empowering right you read this and you're like look at me right my value is greater than pearls but if you're anything like me and maybe like you vicki tell me if you fit into this category you read this verse and you're like she's so great her value is greater than pearls hello pearls what about diamonds i like that yes you're telling me i'm so great and you compare me just to a pearl hello seven gardens so here's the thing that i have here's how i understand this what's the difference in how pearls are made and how diamonds are made so diamonds i'm not a diamond expert i mean i'm an expert in wearing them not in making them so maybe someone out there knows you know some of the technical terms but they're made under high pressure they made it to my chest but it's a it's a stone it's a stone that you find in the ground and then someone who knows what they're doing takes it and cuts it and polishes it and creates this beautiful gem you get so many diamonds from one rock right it's just it's it's they're never ending there's they're an endless amount and of course it takes work but it's it's relatively easy to make the diamond how are pearls made you know how pearls are made under water no either yeah it's because you know freshwater pearls right so there's an oyster which is a sea creature okay there's an oyster who swims around and around and around the water and this oyster has a shell now the reason it has a shell is because underneath this shell there's like raw materials like whatever you have under your nail okay obviously it's not pleasant it's not comfortable and the oyster what happens is as he's swimming along the water a grain of sand gets stuck under the shell now it could be one grain of sand it could be two it could be three it could be four could you imagine the discomfort of having a grain of sand stuck under his shell right but he goes and he carries it around with him and he swims around and he swims around and he is uncomfortable he is irritated right he's in pain it's very difficult for him but you know what the oyster does i'm going to tell you what the oyster does what keeps going yes and you know what i'm going to tell you right now the oyster becomes a poet okay he becomes a poet and this is the poem that the oyster says are you ready i want you all to memorize the poem okay the oyster says if i can't remove it i'll improve it do you think of that boom if i can't remove it i'll improve it powerful because there's nothing i can do about it so you know what i'm going to do i am going to take this grain of sand and i will turn it into a beautiful pearl that's what i'm gonna do and that's why pearls are so valuable and that's why this is the superpower of a jewish woman this is the very first description of the aisha kyle this is a woman who can take what life gives her the parts that are difficult the parts that are painful the parts that are irritating the parts that are complicated and she will take all of that and instead of being a victim from it and instead of being weighed down instead of living in the pain she will take it and she will turn it into a beautiful pearl love it and that's our silver power wow wow brilliant i love this never heard this before it's not it's my own interpretation but it's beautiful i feel it so strongly i feel it very strongly i love it now this prayer is going to be different every time my husband sings it to me i'm going to thank god good that's the point good good have this in mind absolutely oh thanks for all the hearts yes thank you everybody you're so amazing so inspirational i love the way you interpret things i love the way you look at things and the way you give it over you're just unbelievable thank you totally love everything about you everything thank you it's really just um um i'm projecting the inspiration off of you no i'm i'm just interviewing the most amazing woman the most amazing jewish woman i'm so happy that you enjoyed that you're part of this and for inspiring so many people and you see everybody love the interpretation yeah i'm loving that thank you for all the messages i'm seeing them all come through and i really appreciate them thank you please follow yafa you're gonna be so in love with everything she puts out and uh again thank you so much for joining me thanks for inviting me thank you all for joining thank you for joining please send me a recommendation who i should post thumbs up on zoom and for the hand claps thank you thank you and thank you instagram people thank you it's been a pleasure again yes thank you everyone all right people i'm going to save it i'm going to share it on my page but i want everyone to please send me your recommendations who wanted to host again thank you marina thank you margie thank you thank you i'm sorry okay so yeah you know how to save it on your page right yeah i think i think you follow the instructions you do the x and then it says save as ig tv okay so you click save do i download it also up to my phone you can if you want to you have to if you have space on your phone you know i don't know if you can do both i don't know if you can do both if you have space i'm not going to risk it i'm just going to share it away just your igtv and just write the right you have to write the title in it so you can just write the interview with your alphabet you have to write it fast so we don't lose it i'm always like i have this trauma because i've lost them before okay okay thank you love you thank you everyone for tuning in i really appreciate it and i hope that you were inspired like i was with these incredible women and send me your suggestions and i'll we'll do this again next month thank you okay so yap is off thank you everyone and have a good night enjoy my tea