Transcript
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I want to know how you found two minutes
to even leave the office today. Like
It's been a busy day. I've been The
cases I met with this morning, it's
horrible. I left with one of them just
They're still at my desk.
Horrible stuff. I just went to the last
case just now.
Um a young lady with a genetic disorder.
One in 200,000 people have it. It's
leads towards blindness.
Um regular person wants to go to work.
Uh impossible challenges. That was just
That's the most recent case. I met one
after that this morning. You're saying
it's impossible to go to work, right? So
that
>> She cannot work. She can't work.
>> People have this vision of an old lady
sitting in an apartment. No, no, it's a
regular person. A regular person.
Hashem said, "This is This is your
challenge." And that's what's going on
there. Right.
>> That That was the most recent, but I had
a whole string of them this morning,
straight from one to the next. I'm going
to have one when I come back.
>> Welcome back everybody to another
amazing episode of the Nunya Business
Podcast. I'm your host Michael
Greenfield. Today with me
is the leader of Tomchei Shabbos. I
would say the leader of our community
and uh in so many ways you are
uh synonymous with just chesed, helping,
and uh
everything else along with it. I've
learned so much from you, so I will call
you Rabbi. Rabbi Alan Rosenstock is here
with us from Tomchei Shabbos. Thank you
so much for being here. I appreciate the
time that you are spending with us. I
know that every minute you're with us
here is, you know, time that you're not
spending helping others. So it's very
meaningful that you're able to do this,
but this also helps others.
I thank you for having me. I'm not a
rabbi, and I'm not a leader of the
community. Otherwise, I agree with
everything you said. I'm just one of the
people who participate to the best of my
ability.
Okay, let's slow down a little bit.
First of all, as far as a community is
concerned, a community with Hatzalah and
a community with Tomchei Shabbos is not
a community without those two, right?
Like you need to have certain things.
You need to have a shul. You need to
have a minyan of people. You actually
need 15 people at least so that five
don't show up, right? And [laughter] you
have to have a I think a Hatzalah,
right? Probably a supermarket or two or
like a season's or two, you know, and a
hat box, and you know, but a Tomchei
Shabbos is really like essential in
having a community. And
to me that that's why I look at you as a
leader of a community. Um I also ordain
you as a rabbi because I learned from
you. And to me that's more important
than anything.
Um forget about your understanding of
meat and milk and the rules of
engagement in the kitchen. To me it's
more important that you're learning
something from someone and that's where
I call someone a rabbi. To me you're a
rabbi.
Um I look up to you. You're a person
that I've been following for a very,
very long time. We've had our a lot of
connections in the past with the
volunteer work that we've crossed paths
with over the years.
Um
Today though, it's really more about
getting to know who you are, what your
background is, where you're from, what
got you to what you're doing,
what your wish list is, what is
happening in the world right now, and
what to expect from the future. That's
really the conversation breakdown that
I'd like to do with you today. So,
first of all, welcome to the program.
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
>> you being here. And of course, thank you
to all our subscribers. Thank you to the
Prime Source production team and to all
the wonderful work that we're putting
out there in the world, which is
amazing. You're familiar with podcasts
already, so you know you know the
concept of what you're doing here. Um
but we try to do things a little bit
differently in terms of, you know, it's
not really about all about Tomchei
Shabbos. I think most people know
already today what Tomchei Shabbos is.
Um but I really want to dive a little
bit deeper A into who you are, but B
more importantly as well, I said I mean
just as important I would say,
is the need of Tomchei Shabbos. And when
it comes to the challenges that people
have in a community,
like what it means to help, what are the
guidelines of helping, when when should
someone help, what's enabling, what's
not,
when do you feel like it's important to
step up, when should people, you you get
involved or
the frustrations of them not getting
involved and I want to get into all that
if that's okay with you.
Yeah. You got to use this once by the
way in case it comes up and I ask you a
question and it's uh
you know if
>> [laughter]
>> something that you By the way, you know,
getting you to laugh was one of my most
important goals of today. So I'm already
good. We can shut this down and move on
because [laughter]
I know that you live in a life of uh
challenges in terms of dealing with
others and it's must be very difficult
for you. Um
where did this come from? Who are you?
Where Where are you from? Where are your
parents, grandparents from? Where did
you grow up? Give me a little bit of a
who you are.
I grew up proudly in Washington Heights
to
refugee parents in a refugee community.
And I've often felt I'm richer for it
because their perspective
is one that can't be replicated in
today's world.
It's it's a humble you know Rab Broyer
used to say that the killer was built
with the pennies of penniless refugees.
You could walk into a shul of 500 men
and maybe 6 700 ladies. Of course that
as the shul was packed every Shabbos and
you couldn't tell who had money, who
didn't have money.
We were friends. No one was trying to
show off the other one. It was the
warmest, the most encouraging way to
grow up. And my parents who both are
from pre-war Germans pre-war Germany
they were part of that fabric and I was
privileged to grow up in a family like
that and in community like that.
Wow. Okay, that's amazing. You said a
lot by the way. First of all, you said
that the shuls are filled with women.
So that's a thing in where you grew up
in the in the world because today
I don't know if it's as it was then, you
know, uh
there are women that come to shul, but
uh it's always like three quarters of
men and a quarter of of of women. I
think in those shuls in those days there
was a much bigger space for women to
come. What changed?
I don't know. I I don't want to indict
today's society. Many things have
changed, but I have to tell you when I
when I I remember I probably saying that
the reason there was a huscama minion is
so that the wife can come also. He had
little children.
Of course, there was no Arab. So, a
husband and wife both felt the need to
daven but see but in in pack Kayla.
So, they had a huscama minion so the
husband can go to huscama and then the
wife can go to the main minion.
It was pretty unthinkable for lady to
say on all of my my sister went with my
mother with the grandmother say that
Did Did everyone went? All the ladies
went to school.
Wow. I don't know what changed, but
things changed.
What do you think it was? What do you
think it is?
Society?
That That's too long for this podcast.
Um I try to live in today's world.
And then as Rabbi Simcha Shwab used to
say, the good old days weren't. I can't
live in yesteryear.
I face today's challenges in today's
world, in today's society, and that's
doesn't help me to reflect on the past.
And why we are where we are today. I got
to face the reality of today and
addressing the challenges of today. I
mean, that's what I do. Okay, that's a
healthy way of looking at it. I like
that. So, but let's go back a minute for
the way you grew up in that society in
that world.
What kind of tzedakah organizations were
there then? What can we learn from then?
Like when you said that everybody was
sort of on the same playing field and
you didn't feel that one person was
wealthier than another. There wasn't the
front of shul or back of shul feeling, I
guess. So, what kind of chesed
organizations were there when you grew
up? So, I can't say there were many
chesed organizations. Chesed was done
quietly. Um the most beautiful thing
that they
What most beautiful
method of tzedakah they had
is something we've adopted here with
their permission.
When someone is sitting shiva,
we give them a wooden box
that's locked and it's got a slit in it.
And we give them an envelope.
And in that envelope is two things.
Hundreds of dollars in cash
and a letter.
And the letter says
quotes the kids Shulchan Aruch that says
woe to the community
where someone cannot sit shiva properly
because they need the parnassa.
And therefore every single person
who sits shiva in our community
is getting this box, this letter, and
this money.
If you need the money, you take it. If
you don't need the money, you slide it
into the lockbox.
Since we have many boxes that are all
identical
and then we are only we only open them
on occasion
no one will ever know who took and who
didn't take.
It's a beautiful way of giving tzedakah.
And I was so touched that not only did I
ask if we could bring that to our
community and Tomchei Shabbos does that
but I actually asked to borrow one of
the boxes and I built the same box and
we have maybe a dozen such boxes and it
goes to everyone as as as as as as as as
long as we know about the shiva. That's
a beautiful thing. Wow, I never knew
this. This is very cool. I love it. So,
someone sits shiva, you have a box that
gets delivered to them and there's an
envelope with it. How much money is in
there? Do we
Hundreds. It used to be 500, now it's
300. It's a token. It's not going to
make it and no one has to this day I I
go I'll give it to a millionaire and he
says, "Alan, this is insulting." He
said, "Do me a favor. If you didn't take
it then we'll just be giving it to
people who are struggling. It'd be
embarrassing." So, everyone has to have
it.
And they read the letter and they accept
it and we put the box there and the
letter, envelope money.
>> Wow, what a cool concept. It's a
beautiful thing. Uh take me back to
where you were growing up. I like that
you went through it so quickly, but I
also want to go back to it a little bit.
So, you know, what schools did you go to
afterwards? When did you get involved in
Tomchei Shabbos? Did you work for a
company? Like, what was your life like
as, you know, post teenager and you
know, your your definitely an
entrepreneur type of mindset person
because you're a a you're on the move,
you're a networker, you're you're you're
responsible for what budget a year?
Uh the budget is we raise between 10 and
11 million dollars a year. Okay, so
you're running a over 10 million dollar
organization, right? That's a big feat
and that's something that doesn't come
lightly and it's a lot of responsibility
and it's something that comes from
experience of dealing with something or
you know, you have in you a certain way
of thinking or doing. So I would like to
tap into who that is. Who are you? Where
did that come from? What did you start
off as?
>> It's actually simpler than you can
imagine.
After high school
uh I went to college at night working in
the jewelry industry during the day.
In 1993, I opened up my own business. As
you mentioned, I'm entrepreneurial.
One business led to the next and I was
vertically integrated. Um I was
traveling frequently to Asia. I started
manufacturing there.
It was one day that someone when we were
carpooling, a group of my friends were
driving to Manhattan. That's where my my
uh company was located and everyone had
to drive in all the employees.
One day I was in the off I I know in the
car on the way back, I still remember it
was the George Washington Bridge
and someone said, you know, there's
someone in our community there's no
food. If any of your wife would maybe
want to drop off some food, make a cook
or something, just drop it off on the
lawn.
I was stunned by the comment and when I
got home, I
I made a phone call to two no one knew
anything about it. So to tell you how
long ago that was, I took my Ford Taurus
station wagon
and I drove to Pathmark. Now neither of
those exist anymore.
And I loaded up the back of the car with
food and I drove over to the person's
house and I just put everything on the
lawn and drove away.
Um the next morning I found out that
some of that food went to waste because
the family's electricity had been shut
off. They didn't have refrigeration.
And I just made some phone calls like
anyone else from the office on next day.
Just how is it possible in today's days
early 90s? How is it possible that this
family without food? The money you know,
that sounds like the old style ghetto.
You know, Eastern Europe 1831. Not in
the 1990s and uh I found out that they
had some people doing different things,
but there was no unified effort.
I started doing homework, looking into
it, making some phone calls.
And I think my yeshiva's background
helped that what I did is all I did is
put some people together and said let's
if you all would work together,
we wouldn't have people sliding through
the cracks like that. So, What community
was this? Monsey. Oh, this was Monsey.
>> Monsey. I was living in Monsey. Moved to
Monsey in 1984. Oh, got it. Okay.
>> I got married.
So, I banned people together and I said,
you know, I'll take care of the money.
Just do what you have to do and at the
time I could write the check. It wasn't
a big to do.
And once we had
unified and we'd created the the
organizational name Tomchei Shabbos of
Rockland County,
well, people started coming out of the
woodwork. We started hearing about other
people. So, you created the name Tomchei
Shabbos
knowing that Tomchei Shabbos is a known
name? Like how did that happen?
>> Tomchei Shabbos of Boro Park, they
weren't I they weren't many of them.
They had Tomchei Shabbos of Boro Park. I
don't know if they had other So, we
created Tomchei Shabbos of Rockland
County.
>> Your own little 501c3, but you're using
the name to be
>> even have a 501c3. Let's go back to when
we first started. We didn't have a bank
account. We didn't have an
organizational name. We didn't have a
501c3. We had nothing.
And what we did is there was a tzaddik
called Rabbi Paluchik who was living in
Williamsburg.
Had I don't know if he's alive anymore.
His organization's name is Tzedakah of a
Chesed.
And he used to give to the needy
leftover food from the bakeries and
butchers, whatever they can with
anything left over.
And every second week
a volunteer, remember Shlomo's Army? He
was a bus driver for the Monsey bus
lines. Not in this exists anymore. I'm
sure he's around somewhere. He would
drive after he dropped off his route in
Monsey,
he would drive to Williamsburg to pick
up whatever was left over from their
distribution
and he would bring it up to us.
And we would go ahead
and distribute it.
The accumulated effort at the time was
about 24 families.
Like everyone.
And I often wondered if we're doing them
a favor or not. The The challahs were
hard as a board.
There was There was nothing You know, we
did this every second week. Well, I was
busy with my jewelry and
I just suggested that, you know, we stop
stepping it up and maybe we should buy
our own challahs. Well, we didn't have
any money. I said, "Well, it's not a
problem." So, remember when I asked
people, if I couldn't write the check
myself because it started growing, I I
would ask people, "Can you write a
check?" Well, they wrote the check to
Bais Feiga
and to get a tax deduction and Bais
Feiga wrote a check to the bakery. So, I
still remember Marsha Eisenberg, a
non-religious woman on First Avenue
working for like a a council over there,
Jewish Council.
She got us tax First we recuperated from
the sales tax in the county. She got us
tax deductibility.
Um Well, that was like winning a
lottery. People could write checks to
us.
And then we had volunteers who would
take the checks and deposit them.
Initially, I was doing every check I
would deposit in the bank. Every Friday
we'd go to the bank.
And I would make the deposits myself.
So, while I was doing my business on the
side, I just kept stamping checks for
deposits
and write a deposit slip. 100% of the
time the bank would send back the slip
the following week correcting my
mathematical errors or whatever it is.
I still remember those days. There were
no employees. There was no one. There
was just my shirt pocket.
I would go to the bank and every week
they taught the staff to
greet people by name.
I remember they would say every weekend,
"And have a wonderful weekend, Mr.
Schwartz."
And after maybe two, three months of
this, I said, "You know, I come here
every week. You can call me just Just
call me Tom Schwartz. That's fine."
I You can be on a first name basis with
me. It's all good.
>> Um so, then when I when I when I was
getting everyone wrong, so then this
volunteer picked it up for 6 months,
that month, etc. We just We did the best
we could.
And it slowly grew. I guess the biggest
change occurred
I was sitting in my company in the in
the jewelry office. I said, "Wow, what a
failure.
We are the most embarrassing
organization out there.
Every box of food we send out represents
a failure.
It represents a failure of Israel having
found that person a working job during
the week.
Why we patting ourselves on the back for
delivering a box of food? We're not
heroes.
We can and must do more.
And so, what I did is
I started advocating for the first
person job, then the next person. We
started doing job placement. And it
became very taxing. I was doing that at
the same time I was running my business,
and we had employees, and it was like
when I was traveling to Asia.
Up to my my record of seven times in 1
year. I was manufacturing right there.
It
But that I started
counting our successes by how many boxes
of food we didn't send out.
Today,
if I can jump ahead a little bit, our
job placement division,
person Rabbi Markowitz, is placing of
average of four jobs for unemployed
people per week. I am closest with him.
That is a success.
A box of food is not a success.
But then, when we were doing all this
job placement, we found people who had
zero job skills.
They were a diamond setter. They were a
bus driver, truck driver.
They're not going to be the finest of
family
with us finding them such a similar job.
So, I started contacting people to say,
"Can you teach a course?
Can you teach this man?" Actually, I
said, "Can you teach this man? I spoke
in in
two of these men in one Shabbos morning.
After speaking, some guy came to me and
said, "Can I speak to you privately?"
Which is standard. Either means he's
broke or he's going to give him a
million dollars. There's no way to know.
Same face. They're all like poker faces.
And he said he was in the jewelry
industry, and I know this man. He's not
alive anymore. He said, "My business is
gone.
It collapsed. It's gone.
I'm going to have to find a job, and I
don't know how to use a computer." And
the following week I spoke in Rabbi
Shabbos issue, and I repeated that
story. I said, "Someone here can teach
that man how to use a computer."
And that shul had a meeting
run by Dov and Leiwand,
the orthodontist.
They put a Sunday to put a meeting
together, and they said if there's one
there's got to be a bunch of them. We're
going to teach every single person
how to use a computer, anyone who needs
it. And we formed classes. And now we
have
uh
QuickBooks classes. Okay, so that feeds
directly into job placement. Now,
there's some people there's nothing you
can do.
And that's where the food box comes in.
Today I met with
uh
this woman who has a genetic disease.
It's leading to blindness. A single lady
wants to go off to work.
She can't work. Yesterday I met with a
single mother
who doesn't have a car. Can't get to
work.
And we're working on all sorts of
things. We're trying to put the package
together.
And there's some people who we're
dealing with now with uh a man
who had uh a kidney a liver transplant,
but things have gone wrong. He hasn't
worked in weeks
weeks. Hasn't worked in months. I Before
Pesach, there was a man in our community
who had a massive heart attack. As we
speak,
he's on a trache.
He gets dialysis.
He was the breadwinner there. The wife
has a menial job.
Impossible. They can't afford a thing.
So, there is a place for food,
but only if there's no other option.
Wow, I
I'm I'm blown away by what you're saying
because before I had you here today, I
had questions that you know, I started
asking people in my circles when I see
them in the mornings or you know, um I'm
speaking to them and I'm like, "Oh, I'm
having a guest. What's a good question I
should ask?" And one of the questions
that I got when I told people that I'm
interviewing you was
is totally Shabbos maybe enabling people
you know, is giving away food to people
just showing them that their mindset is
wrong and you're just you know, you're
feeding into their challenges.
I didn't even have to ask the question
to you when you answered it to me
already. So, we have a psak
um that from my brother-in-law Zev
Telsner
if someone is not doing all they can do,
we have no claim to give him tzedakah at
all. Period. End of statement. One more
time. If someone
>> is not doing all that they can do
>> How do you know what all they can do is?
Excellent question. That's a qualified
excellent. But first of all, that goes
back to the Kli Yakar.
Also of Tosaf Yom Tov, he says, if the
only says he can't find us me and
doesn't work to help themselves, no
chiyuv.
And without that, we had a family whose
electricity was shut off. And this man
nothing. He was busy with investments,
which means
going to Yankel to return money to to
Shimon whatever round and round.
Nothing. Completely meaningless. Nothing
that we did not turn on the electricity.
I know that man
and I saw the orange and white and truck
pulling out. He begged me for it cuz his
grandkids were over. Now, that may
strike you as home as heartless. We have
a psak
and that goes back to the Kli Yakar. So,
we need I always tell people I'm looking
for a partner and you are my partner.
What are you doing? We will partner with
you. So, if they let let's say we can
find them a job at $60,000 a year. They
can't live on $60,000 a year. We'll help
you.
But I need to know you're getting up in
the morning going to work. And after 4 5
6 months here, let's see if you can move
up in the company or get a different job
and we're going to help you cuz Leiby
Markowitz of job placement will step in.
But you I'm going you to do all you can
before you come to us.
I have a couple, wonderful couple.
The wife is medically challenged, hasn't
to work. Husband was earning the
princely sum of $65,000 he was a
bookkeeper. Before Pesach he had a
triple bypass. What's the plan? He's
doing all he can.
They they they really don't make it.
They just juggle everything.
And then he's out. Okay, so we have to
provide them with food for Pesach.
But that's what they do what they can.
That's what it's supposed to be. No, we
don't enable No one wants to be able to
point to get a box of food at the door.
No one.
I don't care who you are. How do they
How are they paying their clothing? How
are they buying their kids clothing?
How do they pay medical insurance? How
do they get and keep their kids in
school? How do they get gas for the car?
I'm curious, did your mindset change
over the years that you learn as you got
involved in this? You're you're quoting
like, you know, Halachas and Rabbonim
that are have given you, you know,
authority to do certain things, you
know, What is it Did it shift for you?
Was it a mind change for you because
like I'm curious like in the beginning
if it was like, "No, no, no, everyone
needs to get in
How was that mind shift for you as a
leader of this organization? Had I not
shifted my mindset, that would have been
the greatest failure of time. I'm a
different person today than it was 10
years ago and I hope I can say the same
thing again in 10 years. The most
important thing I've done is
document all and shiva so no I
can't show it to you. Um all and
shiva for last 30 some odd years. And
they've been riveting, fantastically
interesting, fantastic.
I'm gone as far as I can get to see all
the others and fantastic.
>> Can you share a question? What are those
Oh, many of them. Um one of them is
fantastic. Um I was I was just
recounting it this morning at the
office.
Uh
A well-known wealthy fellow called me
up. He must meet with me.
It's an emergency.
But in private. Okay.
So we agreed that that night we we came
up with a place. It was a back of a
whatever. And he looked down and said,
"I I don't know how to say this, but my
business is about to go bankrupt.
You're the only one who can save it."
I had no idea what this man was talking
about. I'm a jewelry manufacturer, and
he was in an unrelated line.
I said, "How can I save it? What can I
do?"
And he slid across the desk to me a
check for $5,000. He said, "Get this to
the Nium.
It's the only thing that will save my
business."
Now, my Rebbe is Dayan Doner in London.
I called the Dayan and I said,
"Fantastic story. You got to hear this
story. Great." Sunday, he called me back
and said, "I discussed the shidduch with
Rav Chaim Kanievsky." I said, "Shidduch?
I told you a story." He said, "No. It's
a shidduch. If someone's going bankrupt,
do they have the halachic right, that
means his debts exceeds his assets, does
he have the halachic right to take money
and give it to tzedakah? That was the
shidduch that was presented from Dayan
Doner to Rav Chaim Kanievsky
based upon that story." Now, it's so
interesting. I would not have thought
this a shidduch. I thought I was telling
a story.
And Rav Chaim Kanievsky paskened number
one, yes. Number two, he asked for the
name of the person so he could daven for
the person's parnassah.
That's a true leader.
Now, it's interesting. When he paskened
yes, what he was saying is, if I told
you you can advertise
your product in the New York Times, Wall
Street Journal, whatever, and you'll
have an ROI, return on investment, you'd
say, "Sure."
What he's saying is what the Memorbuch
Hazal
uh have presented us with as guaranteed
assurances with Gabi giving tzedakah,
that is stronger than any advertisement.
That is an investment with an
unbelievable ROI. That's what Chaim
Kanievsky was teaching us through that
pasuk. Now, that was just one of many,
many. It's very interesting. That's
beautiful, and I appreciate you sharing.
I want to I want to um
go over this topic for a second simply
because
two things I'm thinking about, a few
things I'm thinking about as you're
talking, and uh I want to get into it
now is that you're a parent, right? You
are a father and you have
responsibilities of being a father.
You're, you know,
a husband, a father, you know, you're a
person that has a lot of
responsibilities at home as well on top
of the responsibilities of the
organization and I'm reminded by a
conversation I had a few years ago with
Hatzalah member's wife who told me, "I
wish my husband would run as quickly to
our needs
as he does to the community's needs."
And it just blew me away and I was like,
"Wow, that's that's sad, you know, but
it's it's something that's alarming at
the same time." We should recognize
that, you know, "Chesed starts at home,
right?" That that old adage. How did you
figure that part out? Did you figure it
out? Were there challenges to you? I
happen to know one of your children and
you know, he's a phenomenal person and
just a personality and you know,
easygoing but at the same time vivacious
and just a, you know, a person that's
very, very successful in his own way and
he speaks so highly of you and every
time I speak to him and um
so I know you did a great job with one
of your kids cuz that
>> My wife did a great job. You know, you
know what's interesting? My children
have been part of this and but by the
way, it is a
it was something that took some work. I
it's very difficult. It's a natural
impulse to help others before you see
what you
need at home. I used to have a rule,
you're not allowed to volunteer in the
in the rare house until you've helped
your mother / wife, whatever the case
may be, make Shabbos. Don't come on down
here and be a hero before you're a hero
at home. But it's easier said than done
and when the children were
active, it was very hard because yes,
you can prioritize a family but then
there's an emergency. You told your wife
you're going to go shopping and you find
someone living in a car, now what?
Someone's right now in the car, it's
Thursday night, you need to go shopping,
what do you do? That takes a hero of a
wife.
Because it falls upon her shoulders.
Now, the kids were too young to drive.
But since you bring up family, I'll I'll
bring you I'll just tell you what I used
to do. The ultimate board of directors
always were my kids.
At the dinner table, we had formal
dinners.
I would present them with a singular
challenge I faced that day without any
names and said, "How would you have
handled it?" Well, well, you This is
awesome. Hold on a second. Break this
down for me. How many kids do you have
at the table?
>> seven. I have nine children. Nine
children?
>> Yeah, but they they were not all Right.
So, they're not all at the same time
eating dinner, but No, no, no. We all
ate dinner at the same time, but my
oldest daughter got married before my
youngest daughter was married. Right.
Before she was born. Was born. Right,
right. So, I imagine they're all not But
that's how I would present them with a
singular
>> you ate dinner at at home? Yeah, of
course. We all sat We all sat down
together.
>> You're saying every night? Yeah. Uh th-
There there's one thing that you've you
did right, in my opinion, is My wife did
right. Well, you made sure to be home at
night to eat dinner.
>> we all sat down together. And then I
would present them with a singular
situation that happened that day. For
example, I had a great one. This was a
an amazing story. Um Now, we had a rule.
You cannot vote to indict unless you
hear two You can envision two sides of
the story. I want to hear two sides of
the coin. A firm mind.
Man, husband and wife came to my door.
Four children, they're living in a car.
They lived in a van.
Do we help them? They said, "We have no
money. We need Now, I happened to know
the husband cuz I once hired him to do a
project. A talented man. He's also very
lazy. Comes late to work. Do you help
them or do you not help them?" That's
the question, straight up. Straight out.
Okay? You start the rule Maschlin min
hatzad, if you know what that means.
It's the same thing in Sanhedrin. The
youngest has to opine first, so he or
she is not influenced by the older one's
opinion. So, the youngest one could be 5
years old, 7 years old.
>> Anyone that can have an opinion. But
it's You Maschlin min hatzad. That's how
That's how the Sanhedrin used to do it.
Came to dinay nefashos.
It
just The greatest sage was in the center
and it
So, that you always started with the
least experienced who could opine so
that they're not influenced by the by
the case we started let's see what I
thought and we'll go up there and the
basic mask on the family is the two
sides to this debate. Number one, you
say we are not here to help lazy people.
Let them figure it out. We're here to
help widows, orphans, not lazy people.
What's the flip side of that coin? The
Gamora says
that 40 days before the deepest formed
boss call Yoto's from Maris on the
ocean.
Boss call emanates from Shamayim and
attributes to this person that will
either be wealthy or poor. Maybe he's
not poor because he's lazy
but he's lazy because his boss call was
poor. That flips around cause and
effect.
But I like fertile minds and so first we
had the debate and then I called Iron
Donner and he consults with Kanievsky.
Kanievsky quoted the time and I saw it
in print
who says if the only tries to work who
pours lead in his bones, he can't do it.
That challenges us every time we meet a
situation
we have to ask we don't know what this
person's boss call you was. Is he doing
everything he can to go ahead and be
able to finance his family? And we're
looking to partner with him and
sometimes you see people continually
losing jobs
and they don't want to and you start
hearing the boss call.
You know, it's not an absolute. I can't
say that I would ask what your boss call
is but it added a dimension. You asked
if I changed my perspective over the
years. That added a dimension. That's
fantastic. All these things have added
dimensions. I'm a different person today
than I was when we started 30 something
years ago.
>> Yeah, no, I I absolutely love that and I
appreciate what you're saying. First of
all, you're skipping it over like it's
normal and maybe it's because you're
Yucky or because you're so regimented.
>> Proudly Yucky. [laughter] Write that
down. Yes, proudly Yucky. But having
dinner with your kids every night at
home is something that I think a lot of
people skip and uh you know, don't
realize the uh I loved it. Those were
wonderful times.
>> Yeah, those were wonderful times. And
and I think there were I've heard this
before from uh very well-off people that
talk about how they have discussions
with their kids at night and they bring
up a debate and they want to see how the
responses go back and forth. So, kudos
to you for bringing that up and having
your kids grow up in an environment of
thinking. Just, you know, logical
thinking and just back and forth. And I
I love that I love that for you. I have
to apologize to you for something. Um
you know, when when you
when you do something to someone or
speak about them and they don't know,
there's a whole idea that you should
apologize to them, right? You know, and
I So, I never thought to apologize to
you about this, but I'm thinking I
should. You came into our shul around 15
years ago. So, I guess, you know, it was
like, you know, I guess it was before
the time that you learned things also,
right? Cuz you said 10 years. So, you
made a comment in the shul that bothered
me. It just it irked me. And when I went
out of that um that prayer that day, I I
just the davening, I just like I was
turned off. I was like, "Ah,
I don't know. You know what? Let me see
what other organizations need help."
>> right. I don't know what I said, but
>> No, no, no, no. You think probably I
want to tell you what it was and I want
to break it down for you because I want
to I want to talk about it for a minute.
I think it's important. You got up there
and what you said was is that you guys
are in your beautiful homes with your
swimming pools and your Shabbos kiddush
and we have people suffering. You need
to help them. I know exactly what shul
you were davening in and I remember
saying it. That was Rabbi Weinberger's
shul.
Wow. I said yes. Um I regretted the
statement afterwards. I don't believe I
sound I didn't intend to sound that the
way. Before I speak, I usually say it's
okay. I have no idea. I speak
unscripted. And the statement was meant
It It was It didn't come out the way it
was intended, but you were right to Yes,
I did it one time. I know exactly one
single time in my whole entire career.
>> way, I'm I'm shocked. I I thought it was
just like your MO. Like this is how
you're trying
>> One time I made that statement, it was
the second US spoken by Rabbi Viner. The
first year I spoke when the show was in
Russell
down there in Horowitz's house. You
know, I have to tell you, I feel
terrible because you're here's a guy who
left a jewelry business, uh started an
organization for our community, walks on
Shabbos for hours to speak in the
community shul, and I felt this and it's
unbelievable that
>> you did the right thing.
>> No, but it's it's all honestly, I I grew
from that and I said it doesn't matter.
He must At the end of the day, what I
said to myself ultimately like a few
weeks later is that you're in it and
when you're so deep in it, I felt like
you were in the quicksand and there was
so much going on around you of people
that needed help and it's hard for you
to walk to a shul through swimming pools
and houses and just and I'm like, I
don't want to swim pool. What do you
want from me? I'm not, you know So, it
was it was a mistake to make the comment
and I'm sure I made other mistakes, but
I remember that single time I made that
mistake. I know exactly what it was.
First year I spoke in the new shul in
Rabbi Viner's, I made that statement. It
was a mistake. I regretted it almost
immediately and it's difficult to all
day long meet with people
who can't afford toilet paper
and then try to relay
their anxiety, their fear, their
loneliness, their helplessness to people
who are living so well.
And nonetheless, I got to have to be
more regarded, after be more done the
costs with people I send them some
money. Let them live. I know exactly
when that happened. One single time I
made that mistake and I've been walking
for 20 years. I've been speaking in
shuls or I walk as far as Chestnut Ridge
Road to to Chestnut Ridge by the lane. I
walk all the way out to all the way my
furthest ever walk was 7 and 1/2 miles
each way to the top of Pomona up on
>> You're kidding. 7 and 1/2 miles on a
each way. Came home 5:00 in the
afternoon. Been walking for tens of
years. That was my singular biggest
mistake, that comment I made at Rabbi
Viner's shul. Only time I ever made the
comment
and regretted it thereafter.
>> How would you say things differently
now? What would you say to to penetrate
my heart?
>> say anymore. What would you say then?
What I do is I go from shul to shul, I
share with them what's going on, and I
leave it at that. They can do with it
whatever they want. The Ponevezher Rav
used to say when he knocked at a door,
he hoped no one answered.
How was that week that Shabbos when I
walked Rabbi Wein's shul? How was that a
success?
I have to do my histalkus and walk.
And then I walk back.
That's all I had to do.
The fact that I spoke a few minutes,
fine. Messed up, but I still did my
histalkus, and that's enough for me.
I walked for hours and hours and hours.
It doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't
bother It's I I celebrate. It gives me
yishuv hada'as,
clear my mind, think of the cases, how
can we make a difference, am I doing
enough, make a cheshbon hanefesh.
Everything's going on out yourself,
totally by yourself. There's no cell
phone, there's no one to see. If you
leave your house 6:00 in the morning or
early, it depends how far you're
walking, and you just walk. And the
streets are quiet, and you're just left
to yourself, and it's wonderful. And so
I made a mistake at that talk.
>> often do you
>> [laughter]
>> By the way, I love that your your you
remember it because it obviously
impacted the
>> One time, made that [clears throat]
mistake.
>> Right, and then you learned from it, and
you and you move you move on. How often
do you do the Shabbos walks?
Um I used to do it as a summer sport, um
but it's very very hard when it's
80-some-odd degrees walking for hours.
>> And how many shuls do you cover a year
when you say that? I I want to know.
Whoever Any shul that have me come, I'm
going. Wow.
And so I I I have to I have to pause you
there. I have a tremendous amount of
respect for you for the things that
you've done, and I'm learning now about
it.
It's so mesmerizing to me because, you
know, when you see an organization, you
don't really realize the person behind
it had to drop every success that he had
financially and his and on his way of
entrepreneurship and in terms of doing
this. So kudos to you, and thank you. I
want I want to move to the other topic
that I was thinking about is that you're
seeing so much pain
and it's difficult. You just said it a
minute ago cuz how can I, you know, walk
by? What do you do to remove yourself
from that pain? I'm I'm on a practical
level. First of all, do you go on
vacations? Do you do you go away? Do you
watch television? You don't You don't
have a smartphone, so how do you
disconnect?
Who is your person? How Everybody in
trauma that deals with things, I always
say like all trauma members need someone
to debrief to unwind with, you know,
there's you're seeing a lot. You're
seeing the depth of a lot of negativity
that goes on in this world,
unfortunately. And that bus call that
you referred to, you're the one that
gets to see that and it's very, very
challenging. I can't imagine how
how tolling it is on you and your, you
know, just in general, your lifestyle.
When and how do you disconnect? So, I'm
going to need a few minutes to respond
to that. Let me first go to why am I
here today? Why did I take off time to
come today?
And that's related to your question.
Every challenge
is addressed by a hero.
I focus on the most amazing people whom
I have met who quietly do heroic things.
I remember um a man who gave me $10,000
to give to his ex-wife. His kids were
out of the house.
It wasn't for his kids. He just said, "I
once was married to that woman and
she doesn't have it easy. Please give
her $10,000. Don't tell her it came from
me." I remember a family who was saving
up for dining room set and there was a
house fire and the neighbors were
collecting and the the husband and wife
turned over all the money they'd saved
from the dining room set that's they're
they're fine with a folding table and
folding chairs. I remember
two brothers in Fields who had raised a
small amount of money for Purim and I
asked to meet with them. Why did they
want to The parents couldn't understand.
I'm coming up, maybe they had raised
$40. I don't remember what it was. Why
they coming up? I want to meet them.
And I challenged them. I said, "What
more can you do?
Think big. Let's do it together.
And they started Kids with Feline.
People who cannot afford basics can't
afford bikes for the kids. So, they now
they run it, by the way.
Um they run it with the family, Kids
with Feline. That's one of our
divisions. It's We we partner with
anyone.
Then the two hero ladies who started a
gown gemach.
Then there's a Steifman cruel families
who run Bobby's Place. I'm asking you
what your outlet is and how you
disconnect and you're telling me how
much more you connect. Because that is
my outlet. The heroes keep me going.
Everyone has a talent. Everyone can and
must do something. I'm surrounded by
people and encouraged by people who rise
to the occasion. There are no great
people.
The common people who do great things.
And I feel bad that in one misstatement
I misspoke for all of them because these
people are heroes. The kid who holds who
runs the lemonade stand to raise money.
People who who open gown gemachs. People
who teach courses. We have an education
division.
Volunteers teaching courses. People who
calling in with jobs. That's my therapy.
These people drive us. They encourage
us. I took the time to be on a podcast
because every single person can
and must. Everyone has a talent.
Some people can help financially. Other
people have a talent. Imagine if every
person listening to this podcast called
in with one job opening. That's what
encourages me. I live a charmed
existence. I meet challenges, but then I
meet the heroes who address those
challenges. It's the most incredible
life. I can't describe to you what it's
like. I'm a kind of know-it-all in this
world.
Every day I feel like I've won a
lottery.
Horrific challenges. Right now, this
morning I'm at with There's a husband
and wife who have major shalom bayis
problems. It's due to finances. If we
can address those finances, and I'm
talking about It's a young couple.
Get the man a solid job.
Help his parnassa. You can save a
marriage.
And someone's going to do it. The only
question is who it is. And that takes
place all the time. I don't get down. I
get up. I'm encouraged. It's It's the
most amazing thing to see klal Yisrael
band together in most beautiful way.
Absolutely beautiful. But I'm still
going to push you for an answer. Do you
read books? Do you watch movies? Do you
listen to music? Do you go to the beach?
Do you go for walks?
You're telling me that you the walk that
you go to on the shul for Shabbos to
talk about those That's the That's what
I'm trying to extract something more.
>> Okay, yes. Maybe I need to get your wife
here. I need to get her on
>> no. I do I love reading books. Okay.
There we go. I'm a voracious reader and
I've grown from a lot of them.
>> Sure. I just I keep reading. Do you have
any favorites? The one that impacted me
the most was a book on Steve Jobs. Steve
Jobs taught me how to run Tomchei
Shabbos. No way. I just had to read his
book. Um what he did is Apple computer,
you heard of Apple, right? You heard of
the iPhone? Good. Well, do Okay, I I
don't know what it is. I don't have
either one.
But
he was he walked into a meeting and they
were discussing something called an app.
And they said, "Obviously, we're going
to be the only ones create to create the
apps."
And he said, "No.
Anyone can create an app as long as it's
approved by us."
If I read
nothing else but that, I realized in an
instant
Tomchei Shabbos is not about what we can
do.
It's an open forum for involvement.
It's a platform, not an organization.
Anything you want to do
to help your fellow Jew, anything at
all,
call me.
I'll give out my number. No problem.
845-356-0202,
extension 304. I want to meet with you.
Let's do this together. That's what I
got from the Steve Jobs books. It's a
platform. Anyone can do anything. And
you have talent, do it. I love how
everything I'm going to ask you leads
back to your Tomchei Shabbos because
it's really your life. It's really
everything It's amazing. It's
unbelievable. It's the most beautiful
life to live. I I have to tell you that
you know, I've met with a lot of leaders
of different organizations and um
this kind of answer I've never gotten
and I I don't think I'll ever get it,
which is everything that I ask you about
what you know, kind of release you have
release you back to that. Um
but I like it. I like what's happening
here. I like that you know, you read and
you learn something and you adapt it to
your organization and you grow from
that. What else? Do you go to the beach
and learn from that? No. Do you bike?
Yes.
>> Oh, okay.
>> I love biking. Really? I love biking.
Okay, do you bike for high? Have you
ever done that?
>> No, it's out of my league. First I bike
only alone. Gives me time to be alone.
Sure.
And I actually turn the phone off during
that period of time unless there's some
emergency going on and I'll keep it on.
Um and I'll just bike sure you slowly
not the none of these bike for high. I'm
not in that league. Got it.
>> My bike is I spent real money on it. It
was somewhere between $350 and $500
about 20 some odd years ago.
Um it's real money and the longer I use
it if I amortize it, it's less per year.
Um and I actually I said okay, I'm going
to try these fancy bikes. Yeah. I might
borrow someone's $15,000 Italian bike.
Didn't work for me. No, didn't like it.
I borrowed someone else's $3,500 bike.
No. So I took out my old bike and said
that's good. Um that's the bike I use.
Um it's great. That's it's a great uh it
gives you time away.
And depending on what's going on that
day, if I could I could take as little
as 15 minutes to ride. I only do it in
obviously nice weather.
And
the longest I'll ever go is a 31-mile
route on Heritage Trail, which takes me
3 hours and 10 minutes. I'm
I'm a slow rider.
But it's beautiful. You're away. You're
refreshed. It's amazing. Wow. Okay,
good. I'm I'm I'm actually happy hearing
this that you do have those outlets.
It's important. Um anything else that
would surprise me as far as your outlets
are concerned or things that Do get away
Do you do you vacation ever? Do you go
away? Yes, but it's not you know it's
what what do you call vacation? In the
winter we borrow someone's a dear
friend's house in
Boca. Okay. But I take for 10 days or 12
between a week and 10 days. I take my
computer with me.
I respond to respond to emails and I
have my phone.
But I'm working from there. Right. Okay,
I can go for a bike ride. It's
wintertime it's January February I'll go
for a bike ride, come back, respond to
emails.
>> it. I think [clears throat] I think it's
important for for
for me to know, for people to know that
when you're you're leading an
organization you want to run First of
all that anyone can do anything. That's
a great message that
everyone has a talent within something
that they can contribute. Is there
something missing
that you see in the world right now in
terms of a need? I I like what you're
saying in terms of if there's someone
that has something that you can adapt to
it. Is there something that you say to
yourself like, oh I wish this and this
was
you know, you know,
available or out there? I can't say I
can't give you an answer there because
the greatest ideas right now
are in the minds of people who have not
yet contacted me but will contact me
after I publish my number.
Um I don't know.
My greatest concern is that we seem as a
society to turn a little materialistic
which means turning inside. We're
turning a little inward and Klal
Yisrael's
survival through the galus has always
been
that we not only daven b'loshon rabbeinu
but we live b'loshon rabbeinu. We look
after each other and yes people do but
maybe we can do more for each other. If
we could get more people involved and I
want to hear their ideas. There's so
much need and I don't have every
solution but they do and they can run.
They can share whatever initiative they
bring to us and we'll help them. We'll
partner with them to any extent they
want. I love that and by the way it's a
funny for me to say this but
congratulations on what you've done
because it's a big it's a big feat. It's
shiyachid deshmaya v'siyata.
>> Creating creating that it's it's you
you know,
you can call it see after the smile. I
can call it your status. You know, you
have to put that effort in in order for
that see after the smile to happen and
boy, do you put in that effort? It's
it's amazing to me. Astonishing. So, you
know, there's there's all that that's
going on in your world of from the
Shabbos and there's a lot that we can
learn from. So, I want to, you know, ask
you this. A young couple comes to you
and they're starting their life out
and they live
Monsey, Lakewood, you know, a place
where a house would be a million
dollars, taxes would be $20,000 a year.
You know,
what do you suggest? What do you tell a
young couple that comes to you now and
says, "Please help guide me.
What should I do?"
In fact, maybe you can tell me even No,
it's better for me to address a teenager
or
so it's a it's a double question. At
what point should or could you advise
someone young in what direction to take
for success in our world that we're
living in with the challenges and the
you know, the Pesach and the private
tuitions and all that stuff.
And what would your advice be to them as
a couple growing or, you know, heading
in a certain direction? Would you tell
them where to live? Would you tell them
how many kids to have? Would you tell
them what schools to schools to go to or
careers to follow?
>> people come to me, I do caution them
that Monsey's one of the more expensive
places in which to live and I ask that
they plan and do it as a couple. They
have to plan as a couple.
And what they have to do is try to start
working in an industry where there's
potential for either them to go out on
their own or make a very good living.
There has to be a hobby in it. There has
to be some plan, some trajectory.
Because if they take a dead end job
going nowhere, it's
they're going to they're going to be
struggling. Let's go deeper into that.
You mentioned before earlier before we
were
just when you walked in about AI, you
were joking because you don't have a
smartphone.
So, AI is a big deal these days in this
world and it for all intents and
purposes, it It means that computers and
technology is taking over a lot of jobs.
And you're aware of that?
Okay. So,
having that in mind and also the
expenses of living in a certain
community,
now re-answer that question. How do you
go into a business knowing that you
could it could be your own? And I think
that was your suggestion. Like just go
into something that you can start your
own. Is that
>> First of all, I'm not concerned about AI
taking people's jobs because I remember
when they started with um
Easy Pass. You're not going to need
tollbooth clerks. ATM, not going to need
a bank uh
teller.
Uh the post office. In fact, you never
interact with people anymore. You push
three three plus six down on your
headset. Okay. At the end of the day,
more people are employed in America than
were before they started this because
people are employed in the industries
that create all that those functions.
And I what I've lived through this
cycle. I remember when they invented
calculators. I remember do
When was this? My brother Michael, he's
65. For his bar mitzvah, he got a
calculator. It was But my bar mitzvah
was 2 years
So, okay. So, 52 years ago, they they
had just he got a cat. We were
fascinated. We sat around the dining
room table as a family looking at this
machine. Now, we were taught, my father
was big in all of us doing math in our
heads. And we found that this clunky
machine, it wasn't so small, was able to
do its math as fast as us.
We're fascinated. So, and and as we go
on, then came the computer and the cell
phone and the ATMs and Easy Pass. And
so, it's like, "And everyone's going to
be unemployed." So, given what you your
concerns with AI, everyone should be
unemployed now because everyone has
machines doing everything. And it's
like, "You call You used to be I
remember you go to a company that had a
secretary in front." I remember one of
my clients at J.C. Penney. I was so
annoyed. You go to the corporate office
and instead of
the receptionist greeting you,
at at every floor, there's a telephone
on the desk. And you have to dial into
the extension of the person you're
meeting with. I'm thinking, "This is
horrible. They just replaced every
receptionist for every floor of J.C.
Penney. Okay, at the end of the day,
employment is greater today than it was
back then.
So, that doesn't concern me greatly.
Interesting point. Okay, so back to
where we were with the couple. The
couple's coming to you. So, okay. So, if
there's there's no one answer. I usually
call Rabbi Markowitz into the meeting,
who is Job Place. We talk about
different positions that might be open,
industries. Some are very dangerous,
like Amazon. Amazon shuts people off
like that.
Um on a regular basis, I have people
come to with hundreds of thousands of
dollars in credit card debt and
inventory that's worth far less than
they paid for. So, that's a dangerous
thing, but there are some I know
Walmart's like a big the people have
gone into eBay.
Something people forgot about. But, we
sit down and discuss different
industries, and it's
hopefully they're going to other people
besides myself and Rabbi Markowitz,
because there's no one true answer. What
what Listen, Markowitz says I'll tend to
ask them, "What are your interests?
Where's your heart? What What focus do
you have?" To help guide Let them guide
themselves a little bit. Then we might
be able to pick up the phone and partner
them with someone, introduce them to
someone with in that field.
>> Got it. So, that's for the career. But,
what else do you tell them? What other
advice do you give to young people that
telling them to look out for for their
life, to live a lifestyle?
>> They have to learn um the the word
budgeting is not a good word
because it's it's a restrictive word.
Fiscal
um sanity.
Fiscals fiscal stability. At any point
in the in the economic range, they can
and must make wise economic decisions.
I'd like to highlight two organizations
doing marvelous work. One is Mesila.
Mesila was started by an outstanding Jew
called Shmuly Margulies. And he's the
one who invented the concept of you have
financial coach.
You sit down.
A husband and wife have to do it
together and keep an a spreadsheet. And
this way you don't fall into trouble.
You don't run into trouble. You don't
fall into into a hole. The other
organization is called Living Smarter
Jewish.
It's an all you initiative. I'm close
with both organizations. What's the
difference? They both have cultures. Um
Mesila charges, Living Smarter Jewish
does not charge. But if someone has
financial ability, let's go to Mesila.
You know something, if you pay for a
service, you're going to take it more
seriously. For our education division,
by the way, we used to charge $100 for
the full semester. If they attended
every class, they got a full refund
because they had something in there. So,
in a similar manner, if they have a
financial coach, they learn to live more
carefully. I remember meeting someone in
Brooklyn once who was a young man told
me he was in significant debt. When I
met him, he owned two rental homes
besides his own. And he said Shmuli
Margulies coached him in the early years
of Mesila, and he was he was fine. And
he's now has investments.
>> Beautiful. We had someone here from RSK
also that does something similar.
>> Great. The financial coaching. So, your
advice really is financial coaching.
Financial coaching is so important.
Right. And someone doesn't have the
ability financial ability to hire a
coach, go to living smarterjewish.org.
Right. That that is good advice,
actually. So, you know, and and you're
you're saying so many smart things in
terms of, you know, lifestyle and
living. And I threw that question at you
that you got a little nauseous from when
I said, you know, do you tell them how
many kids to have? I I I asked that
question because it's something that I
think about in terms of, you know, you
have a mitzvah to have kids and to bring
them to this world.
>> Yep. Did this question ever come up to
go all the way to my wonder, which is do
you keep having kids if you know you
can't afford it? If you have a if you
have a disability, let's say you're the
kind of husband or wife and you're
sitting together and you know that you
have the max capacity of bringing a
certain amount of income because of
whatever, you know, thing you mentioned
before that you know, your your boss
called or whatever it was. What do you
do then? Is that a discussion to have?
Is that something that you ever think
about? Each person has their own rub.
I'll share with you something Rub
told me. Rub, I forgot to say his
full told me that when you
someone has a baby in the hospital, they
send the mother home with a care
package. And he says "A kodesh baruch
who does the same thing. There are a lot
of challenges that the parents are going
to have, some of which can be financial,
but a kodesh baruch who sends along a
care package." I will not answer that
question on this podcast or to any
yochid,
but people have come through with that.
And I refer them to their own daas
Torah, not mine. Their daas Torah, and
it's I get it, but do you have an
opinion on it? Nope.
My opinion is you defer to daas Torah.
>> Okay. It's not my place.
>> I hear. So so that's not something you
want to get into in terms of
>> So because obviously it's a lot of money
to have a lot of kids in the private
school.
>> for a moment, Yeah. had I had the number
of kids I could afford. You know, when I
was starting my business, there were two
years I made almost no money. The bank
was trying to take my house. Had I cut
back, and they were tough years.
You said, you know, one of my children,
ask them. They were tough years. Had I
only had the number of children I could
afford, what happened then afterwards
when baruch Hashem I was matzliach? So
that's my personal take on that. Right.
>> But I'm not going to opine for someone
else,
but I'm baruch Hashem very pleased that
it was impossible. We didn't We couldn't
afford food. We went through the
toughest of times.
But we kept moving forward, and the care
package came with each child. And baruch
Hashem, life turned easier. Right.
That's actually beautiful. I You know, I
I resonate with it a little bit, I have
to tell you. Uh when I started off also,
there were times that was like, how are
we going to make Shabbos? That's
correct. You know, I shared this once uh
on the podcast. It was it very difficult
for me to share it then, but um I
already shared it once. I'll say it to
you so you hear it, is that we we didn't
know we were in such a bad situation
that we were thinking, it's getting
close to Shabbos and no one's inviting
us for a meal. What do we do? And that
feeling I carry with me for the rest of
my life. It's the most horrific thing.
And so I met someone who told me that he
and his wife were debating they could
afford one of two things, either a dip
or a salad. Didn't know which one. They
didn't have enough money for both.
Um I don't have an alarm clock. These
things keep me awake at night. I get up
very very I just can't stop thinking
about these things. The stories drive
me.
>> Yeah. Yeah, as they should. I need to go
back to the question you asked before.
>> Oh, please. Yes, you asked me what's
missing. Oh, yes. Of course, the biggest
thing that's missing is I'm waiting for
this and this someone is going to come
up with a solution. The challenge is age
discrimination
is a lot. I know so many people in their
60s, talented, successful people, no one
wants to hire them. Age discrimination
is out there.
I'm looking for someone. I'm challenging
anyone to come up with a solution. I
need to change the traject We need to
change the way we look at these old
people. When I used to work in Asia,
back in Asia, they respect the elders.
They defer to the elders. Here we
respect the youth, the cool guy with the
Ferragamo belt. He's got the answer to
my company. He's who I got to bring in.
I just spoke the other day to someone in
his 60s. He managed real estate for 30
years. He's a master at it. They sold
the portfolio. He's unemployed now. Last
night I work I was working in the
warehouse. A man who's got to be high
50s, young 60s, he came over to me
quietly. He said, "I still don't have a
job. Is there anything you can do?" That
was last night. It happens every day. I
got to be honest with you. I wish I
speak about this with my friends
sometimes that we can open up a company
that doesn't make money. It doesn't have
to It could It could flat even out, but
just gives people jobs. Correct. So you
know, so
I implore the world to answer that
question because that can answer that as
well. You can give a job to anybody. You
could be 60, you could be 70. I
experienced what you're talking about by
the way. I'm I'm currently speaking to
people that are over 60 and are having a
hard time. Terrible. And one after the
hard hard There's no no one will hire
you. Then what's supposed to What's
supposed to happen? I can tell you
stories from that you more than you have
time in this podcast for people who have
died, poor people. I know a man 80s, the
horrible stories. By the time he was he
was poor in a home. He was a a decent
man. He was if I'm not mistaken, he had
a PhD or something. A successful No one
wants him. What do you mean no one wants
him? Is that the best we can do as a
society? No one wants you? But I have
one thing I can tell you. I believe with
every fiber of my being that Hakadosh
Baruch Hu takes notes. And one day I'm
going to be old. And if I stop for one
second and realize that it comes around,
I think I'm going to have a different
perspective. Yeah, very well said. I I
appreciate where you're coming from. Uh
the idea of the discrimination thing,
it's it's it's difficult. Um I I wish
there was some sort of company that we
can all, you know, chip into and and and
run and have those jobs available. But
we the definitely the idea of thinking
about it and discussing it is a step
further. So, I'm happy you're bringing
it up.
>> I once built a business plan. I wrote a
business plan for a co-oply owned matzah
bakery. You can't outsource that to
China, one of the few things you can't,
which is why I scripted it. Co-oply
owned by the employees. Um it was I
simply don't have the bandwidth to
create that. Again, the concept is what?
That there's a They themselves that not
age discrimination is not going to not
present. Each of these people will own a
half of the business and it'll be
disproportionate, which means the people
at the top can own more whatever it is
it's run run a matzah bakery, own it,
it's completely yours. And then they can
tell Arbaminim
uh six months later. And those two will
be a parnassa. It cannot be outsourced
to Asia and um there's no age
discrimination in the business. That's
what I wanted to do. I actually wrote a
business plan for it, but I just have
that much bandwidth. Right.
>> But I'm looking Someone out there is
going to have a solution. If they can
hire someone older. That That's the most
intense thing.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu will take note. Yeah,
now I appreciate that. The idea of a
business plan that you wrote, I mean,
that's those are good ideas to do, but
uh finding those people to take
ownership of that that's the challenge,
but to
>> with anyone. Anyone wants to do
something, my phone number 845-356-0202
extension 303. We will partner with you.
So so and we'll put the number on the
bottom but what I'm saying is so so the
idea and the concept that you're saying
is if someone has the ability to take on
the project yes then let's do it. I'll
partner you'll partner up with them.
>> 100% And I love that and I love
everything about you and what you're
doing and I appreciate you being here so
much and and and just taking the time to
explain to us who you are the background
of Tomchei and and everything that's
been done with it. It's it's just
fascinating. Do you have any questions
for me? It's just something I like to
ask my guests. As a matter of fact I
don't. Okay. I apologize. My mind my
mind is I have to know the truth. Your
mind's on Tomchei. My mind's going back
to the office. I got I got 1 million
cases since I did the questions.
>> what questions do you have? I got to go
back to work.
>> I got to get that.
So many cases every I'm going to go
right down to the to the office right
now. Wow. Okay. I appreciate that.
Before I let you go though I do ask my
guests also another question which is if
you open the pod cast tomorrow who would
you ask to be your first guest? Is there
someone that comes to mind? It's an
interesting question. I'm going to give
you an answer you don't expect. A man
called Mickey Montel. You know who Mona
Montel is? Yes, I do.
Her husband is one of the most fantastic
people you'll ever meet. He shared a a
room in a hotel with a man called
Kalbach.
He's been around the block experienced
more than you ever might imagine. He's
had one of the most fantastically
interesting lives anyone yet the very
but completely different than any other
person I can't wait. I I have no social
tool to ask him. You're going to
[laughter] ask him. I'm going to No,
you're going to ask him. And then you
can you can mention I mentioned it. He's
the most interesting person you'll ever
meet.
>> Yeah, someone actually was here who
recommended Mona so you know
just she's a busy woman. She know Mona
is very I'm very close with Mona.
>> Yeah. She's very busy. And but we'll get
her we'll get her husband. I like this
idea. I love the concept. Look I I
appreciate everything you're doing and I
I now understand better you know, the
world of Tomchei. The volunteer part
that people can participate is mostly
the Thursday night time.
>> First of all, we changed it to Wednesday
night.
>> Okay. Ladies come to the warehouse
Wednesday during the day. Okay.
>> And they bag up produce. So, Wednesday
is available for anybody in the monthly
community once the
>> But the the real volunteer volunteers
can be teach a course, get involved in
the family. You want to save a family? I
can partner you with a partner with a
family. Amazing. I met a another man
last night at the warehouse. He came to
me, his business is struggling. He told
me you need to business coaches. We have
volunteer business coaches by the way.
Okay. Can you save a man's business? Get
involved in something. Go ahead.
Volunteer in that way. No problem.
There's 1 million ways to volunteer and
we'll set you up with the right thing,
whatever works for you. I love it. I
think that's going to be the title of
the podcast. There's a million ways to
volunteer and that's uh And before we
sign off, I want to apologize for the
the statement I made in shul.
It was a mistake, but you learn from
your mistakes. You know what? The fact
that you're owning up to it like that is
so it it it's just amazing to see you as
a person and to get to know you. Every
time I see you, you're you're jumping
from one chesed project to the next and
if it's not your family you're busy
with, it's that, but
you are a person that's a man of your
word. When you say something, you do it.
I've had a lot of experiences with you
and you're on top of everything and
there's so much going on in your world.
Hashem should continue to bless you to
have koach to keep going and of course
we shouldn't have the need for Tomchei
Shabbos, but we do need people in the
community that step up and get involved
and you as like I said in the beginning
are a true leader of our community and a
friend and a person that I will call
Rabbi. So, Rabbi Al Rosenblatt, thank
you so much for joining us. Thank you
for having me.
>> That's a wrap. That was really really
amazing.
>> [music]