The Hillel-Shamai Debate on How to Deal with Your Inner Darkness - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet so the Damara the Talmud records a fascinating debate about the order of lighting Chanukah candles this is a demurrer messiahs Shabbos tracted Shabbos page 21 be the damara sites two opinions one of the house of Shammai the opinion of BAE Shama the school of Shammai and the other is base Hill Oh the school of Hillel now when we say base shamayim a similar literally means the home of Hillel and the home the house of Shama this doesn't mean a physical house it represents two academies to use Shiva's two centers of learning that were not just geographically in different locations they were actually not far from each other but they were different than their approaches in their methods in their systems in their way of thinking in their way of interpretation and these two academies of family and Hitler played a very important role in Jewish history because each of them included students of either the original Hillel Hillel azúcar or Shama hizaki now time here is very important especially as we're going to be dealing with our Chanukah argument hello was born in the year 110 BCE before the Common Era and he passed away in the year 10 after the Common Era just for those who are not so familiar with these numbers the Year Zero we are now in the year 2016 right almost 2017 what is it 2060 years of what happened 2016 years ago it was the Year Zero why did they start counting them in the secular or Christian calendar this is supposedly the year when yashka magische national industry was born if he was really bored homage back year or around that time that's a separate dispute it's irrelevant to our discussion but from this suppose at Birth they started the calendar the Year Zero the base hamikdash was destroyed exactly 70 years later in other words in the year 70 after the Common Era when we want to count the numbers in a secular calendar we do after the Common Era and BCE which is before the Common Era shammai and Hillel both lived around a hundred years before the herdmen of the second base emitter so shammai was born in the year a hundred and ten before the Common Era leaving a hundred and ten years before zero and then it would be another 70 years till the harbin so it's actually almost two hundred years before that he was born and Shammai was younger Shama was born 50 before the Common Era and passed away in the year 30 after the Common Era which means 40 years before the her Maya shame both lived under Roman rule in the century before the destruction of the second Mesa McNish they both lived less than a century after the Hanukkah story so when sama and Hill will speak about Hanukkah they're speaking about something that happened less than a hundred years earlier meaning they still have met people who were either there or were children of those that were there they had intimate contact of the story because it was less than a century before the family story occurred in the year 165 before the Common Era so Hillel and Shammai both lived less than essentially after that story Hillel was born 55 years after the Chanukah victory and Shama was born 60 years later 60 years later now they maintained opposing point of views in many areas of her life had many in effect yet because I'll say they argued with each other ferociously but with a lot of reverence and a lot of respect and they both developed schools they both developed achievers they both developed academies hence we speak about baisama and be civil in fact they miss niacin huzzah we only have three recorded arguments between sama and hello they themselves all of the rest of the arguments many many many are between the school of Shammai and the school of Hillel one common denominator one always notices us that they Shama is more stringent and miss Hillel is usually more lenient in the Gemara we have more than 300 arguments recorded between them one such argument is about Tomica says the Gomorrah Mahad Romina Mahajan those who want to like Hanukkah candles in the most beautiful and perfect manner there's an argument Kisame says yo in addition mod look smiling the kind of a headless places alone the similarity addition magnet across mechana bananas might survive the school of Shammai says on the first night of Chanukah white eight candles the second night of Hanukkah in decrease in light 7 the third night you light 6 and so you go down 5 4 3 2 and finally the eighth night of Chanukah you fill up your menorah with one container with one lamp of oil and light one candle that's the view of Hashanah the view of this hello is no the first night you light one candle the second night you light - and so you increase each night another candle and finally on the eighth night of Hanukkah you light up your home at night in other words you have eight candles burning that's the argument between that asks the de mortem what's the logic behind the argument what would be the distinction between the shaman they said oh why do you have to we have to argue about everything everything is another reason to the bed tomorrow the Jewish thing nothing could mean without an argument how many candles it's not so clear you just live the century it just happen a century ago we're still debating it but one what's the what's the smarter what's the logic mine so the governor gives two separate ways of understanding a lot the first is based on my looks at the future and may Silla looks at the presents it's a very interesting argument the shaman speaks about the oven on an awesome the days that are yet destined to come misil says not young meiosis we look at the days that we already have or have to the first night of Hanukkah miss Shammai says what do we have ahead of us we had ahead of ahead of us eight nights the holiday of eight days is beginning so what do we like we celebrate eight with each passing day one is gone but what do you have left the second night ef7 the third night you have six finally the last night what do you have left you have left one night they silver looks the reality what you have now not what you have in store not what you have in the future right now this allah says we live with the now tonight I had one day tomorrow night I had one day and I have a second one the third night I have three in the last night finally I have eight nights it's interesting the gomorian massacres bateson records another argument to be shaman is silho about how to celebrate Chavez the shaman says that when a person goes to the store on Sunday and he or she sees a beautiful piece of fish or a nice piece of meat he has to buy it or she has to buy it recovered shoppers this is the Shabbos hop it's so beautiful it's so delicious it's so fresh and so - schmuck then seven days was still called fresh it's the common phallus what happens on Monday you go out shopping and you find a better piece of fish so you say okay I'll eat yesterday's piece and this will be the coverage promises and he says this is how you do it and that way your whole we be preparing for chavez-silver the governor says Dara our Ferris high Salahi had a different director he said Borel Hashem Yong Yong today is Sunday let me focus on Sunday when I bike today is for Sunday Monday is Monday when it comes with a Thompson who could be ready Friday I'll prepare for Shabbos I'll be ready for Shabbos Baruch Hashem Yong Yong that's one difference between them but Shama looks at what is in store what is in store is 8 days and with each night I'm missing that and the silver looks not at the potential of what will be even what is or what was in reality what did we celebrate in actuality which as you can probably sense this is a profound argument which deals with two ways of dealing with reality on many different levels this is even it translates into science into psychology into spirituality into assessing yourself and to assessing people into dealing with life it's to approach not only about comment about of our life then the Gemara gives a second explanation for their argument a little more astounding a little more enigmatic says be Shammai says it's connected Parihaka it parallels the system of sodas on suitcase of the base--emitter they used to offer every day a special carbon but it was not uniform the first day of circus 13 bulls the second day 12 bulls and partial Spinnaker's eternity numerous littlest in 3rd day 11 bulls and so each day of suckas the number decreased so you had 13 12 11 10 9 8 and then finally the last day of suckers the seventh day what we call a shiner abba you offered seven bulls you went down from 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 and then by going much linearities the eighth day of circus remember ideal the energy straw we're dealing with they holiday not a nine-day holiday on the eighth day is power hub it's one bullets that unique level of announcements and uniqueness so this shammai says comic it should be just like so this just once okay you're going downward Chanukah should be the same way so when the Casal instituted how to light the menorah is obvious that they emulated the system of suckers when he calls for a hog the Bulls of suckers near its 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 here's so we go 8 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 comes miss hello and says no I disagree my remember code is Raymond the famous expression when it comes to holiness you ascend you don't descend you increase you don't decrease you add you don't subscribe Milan because if you go up alia in the world over you go up in college but a de Madrid in you don't go down so therefore you don't go 8 7 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 which is maybe did you go minam you go up hence Pasillas view 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 what would be a practical difference between the two ways on the demurrer understands the logic behind that so this is a little bit of communica thinking so let's give an example which of course Jews who were in Gomorrah come up with these examples constantly I'll give you an example let's say somebody is spending the first night of Hanukkah and they have one can shun the second night of Hanukkah the second night of Hanukkah and they don't have one candle they don't have two candies they have only one so what are they might they liked one candle if you don't have to you like one now on night 3 somebody gives you three candles so here's the question how do we candles to light the collectible cylinder if you say the reason is Milan but code you have to go up and kedusha last night I did only one so tonight it's enough if I liked to why because I'm going up but if you say the reason is because you celebrating the days of Hanukkah that passed already tonight if you have three candles while you're lining two handles you shouldn't buy two candles you should light only three candles because it's a third night of comedy this would be a practical difference of how you interpret how you interpret the reasoning behind our shaman is settle or an opposite example the first night of Hanukkah somebody has one candle the second night of Hanukkah somebody has two candles the third night of Hanukkah you only have two candles what should you do what should you do the third night of Hanukkah you only have two candles should you like to or not you see the difference if you say the reason you have to like three candles on the third night is because the third might have found a care how could you like two candles it's just giving an erroneous impression better like one and not three you don't have three don't might do like one but if you say the reason is my limbic a dish made my reading you don't go down so the second night of comedy in the two candles the third night of Chanukah all right one it's a pasta dish you can't go down so at least maintain the consistency maintain the number like two on the third line that would be practical difference between the two ways or the camera understands the reasoning of a shaman is hello don't worry I'm stopping with this now so it's fine I see the left brains and the right brains they are going crazy but I but it's good for you to miss that once in a while what their sons do for approximately 11 hours a day okay it's good for you to be able to empathize you had it basically for four and a half minutes you got away with murder but some of them deal with this 11 hours a day not even said it's not so simple okay they don't know they don't know have that brain they don't know how that now it's interesting different audiences some audiences if I would say this distinction and then I would add another one and then another one and then another one the smiles would grow more and more and in other audiences it's like is this where this year is going today so now as you know the halacha is like base pillow in most cases that Walker is likely sila although the result says interestingly that loss is love when the CF comes the luck is going to be like based Shama not only in this area but in most debates between mission a missile today that offers like my solo and the reason Allah has like the Silla was not just a blind conviction it's because all of the major debates were brought to a vote the tailor knowing that not every law is stated in the Bible in from a short time and many situations will emerge that are not addressed in the original Constitution had to address this problem how will Jews know what God wants in subsequent generations when new situations emerge that the turgor doesn't discuss or even new realities in Merve the aterna doesn't discuss or even realities that were there before the Taylor did not legislate these details and then understood that the sages who are interpreting the tire using their mind will be debating things will be disputing things because everybody's mining works differently ain't they a Sancho's so moisture table a new gave in the toyota the formula of how to deal with the Bates which is basically known as the pasta cafeteria and bachelors move automatically rerouted Morocco's to follow the majority so these debates were brought to the Supreme Court to the son head room for a vote and the vote followed the majority and in most of the arguments the vote followed by civil versus like versus a shaman and hence in most areas of hakalo not all the losses like to be silly the reason says that mustard lover there's going to be a new vote by the Sanhedrin and many of these all of this may be reversed with the halacha is going to be like they still not let me like Lee Sherman about this event and that's why in every Jewish home you will see the menorah being lifted first night will have one candle the second night - last night three to nine four and then finally the eighth might have comic eight candles we'd probably simple not like made not a shot here however what we want to understand today is understand better the view of the shamanism base Shammai also knows that there is something called reality not only potential but he looks at the future based a little to the present one and then in the second explanation but shaman looks at circus base it also knows about circus they sell also knows that the holiday of suckers the Toyota says clearly to decrease and yet he says Hanukkah is not Circus Circus Circus Andronicus comic it's true they're both eight-day holidays that's true it's true beginners Antiochus I believe says that that year they couldn't celebrate circus because of the Greek Syrian conquest and therefore they made Hanukkah eight days to compensate for suckers that they missed so there's an interesting parallel between the two nonetheless they still also do about circus why does bit shy might choose to focus on circus and basil--oh says you have to go up and condition and not go down in condition based mi also knows that you should go up in holiness and not decrease and yet make sure my says it's irrelevant to here but put it differently if base Hitler believes they have to go up and condition that one bye suckers doesn't turn to say to go down so you have true fear that sometimes you gotta go down in other words both understood the view of the other then you're not dealing here with the bait that come from ignorance you see there are two types of arguments in life many arguments in life come because simply one person doesn't begin to understand so here's the issue if we have to increase in holiness why does the Toyota tell us to decrease the number of bulls so that means we don't always increase in holiness sometimes we decrease so Beit sometimes you have people debating each other because they think differently and they don't even understand the other view you may I may be simply ignorant to facts many debates are based on ignorance of facts you simply or I simply don't know what is happening in another person's life I don't know all the data and therefore I disagree with you I have my opinion so some debates they're not even communicating to each other they're communicating really to themselves I'm arguing with you I'm not really arguing with you because I don't even know you I'm arguing with the you that I imagine is you which has nothing do with you it has to do with me so those conflicts are really harder to solve psychologically but easier to solve objectively because if you would just be open to reality and you wouldn't allow stereotype and bias to dominate the conversation you could solve those debates in an easier way those conflicts but when you're dealing here with conflicts when you say a lova elusive really Kim Chi the Gemara says about me shaman is silho that God said both of their words are the words of the Living God so what do you mean they're contradicting each other so how can Hashem say the view of Bashan me and then say the view of Bastila when the two views are mutually exclusive this of course means that two truths sometimes may oppose each other but they're not mutually exclusive because even though truth is truth but there is truth for one person and is truth for another person it says in desire that they shall my souls came from guru base hill those souls came from hazard different types of souls the truth of hesse it is a different truth than the truth of guru one is not a lie it's not falsehood versus truth its truth versus truth sometimes what is true from me is a lie for you and sometimes what is true for you is alive for me we sometimes don't understand this but it comes from a narrow mindedness where we think that all souls have the same color it's not true souls don't have the same color hearts don't have the same color psyches don't have the same color so just because what is true from me is not true for you doesn't make it a lie for me and just because what's true for you is not true for me doesn't make it a lie for you a louver a new div really can come true holla holla mice I can only follow Bassanio basil--oh I can't the first night light both eight and one maybe in quantum mechanics you could but then the reality of the observer it's either eighth or one but I still must understand the concept a truth that may not be the truth of my soul but it's the truth of your soul and generally when people develop this approach in life which is the basis of tarisha of all paths there's no way of learning much niacin a murder without understanding this because it's just so many debates and conflicts so either you think it's a chicken market of just people who love fighting with each other or it's actually an expression of the infinite diversity that Judaism in its majestic appreciation of infinite diversity celebrates and not only celebrates but sanctifies and advocates is expressed profoundly in the words of the Mishnah called McCleod casillas shame shame I am so Feliz kyon for Shana mock local assumption I'm in sofala sky which means a debate for the sake of heaven will endure a debate which is not for the sake of Evan will not in there so there is the humorous interpretation any fight where you mix in God is gonna last forever because the moment God is introduced then nobody could compromise because it's not me it's not me it's not about me and whenever you hear people saying it's not about me really really what is it about your figure about the elta Bubba who is it about it's not about me it's about Hashem get suspicious cuz those McCoy person will never ever go because it's not me if it was about me if it's a know the shame shame I am okay you know you give somebody a couple of dollars and shine their quiet that's a humorous interpretation maybe not so humorous but it's an interpretation that has been said by the be honest and I wishes my others on a are maybe on a different level or a deeper level komak locos feel ashamed shame I am so full of his sky the only defeat which spells victory is when you're arguing for the sake of truth then to be defeated as a form of victory if I'm arguing because I have an agenda because I have a bias because I'm looking for a particular conclusion in advance because I just want to prove you wrong then if I'm defeated it's a defeat but when I'm arguing for the sake of heaven when I'm arguing for the sake of truth then to be defeated as a form of victory because the truth prevailed so my focus that is Lashay Mishima amidst a fully sky because even the opposing view contributes to the clarification of truth it contributes to the development of truth and that's why when you're searching for truth even if on the way you fall prey to falsehood because that is part of your search for truth that contributes to your conclusion and since it contributes to your conclusion that itself is part of the significant journey coma coitus feel ashamed shamaya Missa feliss KY so when it comes to be shaman basil--oh and really all McCoy person in all of Tyra one has to understand this it's not I wasn't listening to you I was busy yelling and therefore I could not listen to your view no it came from a deep understanding of the other person's view but nonetheless the truth of my soul is not the truth of your soul and God says both truths are the words of the Living God Ellie Kim Hyon then there's halakhah but a love a love really confined and then we see a very interesting thing the Gemara says that the reason that the halacha was established like my syllabus because notion of a Leuven ha oh they Shanghai really they were sharper intellectually they were sharper and they were more analytical so why did base hillo prove victorious in most of the votes they want so the Gemara says because noise involving how you they were more pleasant and they were more sensitive valoran teller some academia Schama delivery by civil they used to always quote their opponents before they quoted themselves so in a discussion they would say the school of Shammai holds like this we hold like this and that's why throughout all of shots most cases you will always have a sham I quoted before base Hill Oh why first of all Sam I was younger than Hillier number two the hot luck is like basil--oh shouldn't we quote base hello first the answer is because base hello would always quote base on my first that's why the way it's recorded is always be Shama comes first and then base alone the question is these qualities represent the demonstrate humility sensitivity kindness what do they have to do with the verdict of law the verdict of law should follow the more rigorous mind not the more pleasant and sensitive person the answer of course is that the two are interdependent upon each other because only when I could understand my opponents view and I can even quote his or her view before my own then I can trust my own view because then I have an opportunity to really sharp in my view against another view and that's why arguments debates disputations disagreements are so vital for a free society and for a society that prospers because whenever I maintain opinions and I don't know what the opposite opinion believes I could never be certain that my opinion is coming from a deep realization or maybe it's just coming because of indoctrination because of dogma because of no thought process but when I can hear another person's view which disagrees with me and then I could say hmm that's a good that's good that's interesting and not being threatened and the need to attack but actually considering it mulling over it shooing over it now I have an opportunity to crystallize my own view which is why for example in a spousal relationship when a spouse disagrees its reason for celebration that's why the passage says Latoya Adam Levada which means it's not good from man just to have his own opinions SLI a zurka negative which literally translated the greatest help I could do for other miss connect died somebody who says darling you're out for lunch connect die somebody who says when f Shifa carrot maybe it's the other way around they say that there was once a fellow a wealthy fellow who took a son-in-law for his daughter and the son who had this reputation of being this great great Thomas Holcomb anyway Friday night he comes to the shopkin and he says you know I'm afraid you and I know the truth about me it makes garnish that but I'm idiot I know nothing at the conversation I'm gonna have to impress my father but what do i do what do I do he said it's not a problem your father-in-law's a narcissist so he doesn't even like listening he just wants to hear himself all he needs is somebody should say something so he could prove him wrong which is what a narcissist does so while he's giving his liver eterna every few minutes just say when f chef a carrot and maybe it's the other way around and everything will go okay so the father and will start saying his brilliant words of Terror at the meal you know before the between the fish and the soup and the son-in-law starts scratching his afforded just when elsif a carrot and maybe he's otherwise ah you mean this is this toy Smith ah but I'll answer you and he gives the whole answer and he says whenever difficult ah you mean the rajma disagrees and so the whole meal was going and every few seconds he was an effort of a character and the father-in-law was in the heavens he was in ecstasy and finally given the schema calls and his wife he says as I'm gone such a brilliant genius we can you find this such a perfect man he's as an MSHA for carrots and maybes the exact opposite you know he was doing his thing and he was doing his thing but that ability to be able to hear somebody who looks at me and says and maybe the exact opposite and maybe you're making a mistake so if I'm insecure and if I'm addicted to indoctrination and all I want is to hold on to the shack that pie down my brain the worst thing I can hear in my life is somebody says I disagree with you either I run from them or I attack them or psychologically I have to excommunicate them because there's no way to deal with it but if I'm in a more of a wholesome and godly space ah deval dick now you'll give me an opportunity to ask myself how deep is this view how deeply held is this conviction how profound is it how thought-out it is so this is really what you describe is based on a culture of debate in order to arrive at a deeper truth and that's why the Gemara is so full of arguments non-stop and it looks very strange it looks strange it's like they don't stop fighting and debating about everything but the truth is that it's a McCoy Khosla change of mine for the sake of truth and all of these types of debates all of these types of conflicts are not only good they're vital they're productive they're meaningful because it allows you to see the contrast and you never falter you never melt away why cause my mother sir if they're wrong ah diabla show me how they're wrong and then the rightness will be far clearer and if they're right either number if they're right then my defeat Styles victory so this is true about every McCoy because that's why the reason that workers like basilica's cuz they listen to bass Shammai and they quoted them first it actually made their view far more thorough far more comprehensive far more profound which Derick Agha by the way sometimes youngsters have questions different types of questions and many of us with good intentions probably with very good intentions our approach to questions is we look at the person we look at the teenager we look at the young woman we look at the young man and we say we don't ask questions by us we don't ask questions now they are saying of course what their father or mother told them when they ask their questions and they said they're saying what they were told when they ask their question so now there's two approaches what do you do when you hear that one is you learn never to ask a question again if you want to fit in but there's other people who say that means there's no answer that means there's no answer and even the person who will never ask a question again knows that there's no answer deep down because if there was what do you have to scream at me so sometimes when a teenager asks a question and his teacher or mentor screams at him you can threaten it another stylist sometimes with a lot of anger what's fueling the anger is not the question what's fueling the anger is that he has the same question but the way he dealt with it many many years ago was through repression and now how dare you bring up in me a skeleton that I thought I got rid of so I'm really not screaming at you I'm screaming at the part of me that made me so uncomfortable and I had to cut it out of my system in order to be Who I am in other words you're reminding me that I'm a lawyer and I've been lying my whole life that's very very upsetting so that poor child thinks that he's being screamed at or she's being screamed at and really they're dealing with a person who didn't fully come to terms with themselves they're not really honest with their religion a much deeper and healthier and Jewish way of dealing with it is I'm talking here not about unhealthy cynicism where a person is a trying to mock I'm talking about a person who's inquisitive a person who has real questions the world is a place with a lot of questions along the Gemara Milosh and Helen Allen comes to the word concealment God has concealed in this world and whenever something is concealed is questions so therefore a much godly reproach a Jewish approaches that a person looks at the question and says hmm if I know an answer I'll share it I may not know and I could say you know I don't know it I don't know an answer to that question I have to ask somebody or let's go talk to somebody who may know let me research it of course some things are not answerable but many things are this even if they're not answerable there's discussion there's conversation even understanding why it's unanswerable there's also a profound awareness even understanding why something is unanswerable so therefore the concept is when people are secure and confident they're never afraid of questions ever they may have an answer they may not have an answer but they're not afraid of the question they're not terrified by the question there's no like silent demon that's hiding that they always have to cover up for and when there is youngsters feel it immediately and the way this turns them off in a very deep way is very very profound I was not long ago at a Chaba tone and we were discussing this so a young fellow a fine Hasidic man from a particular community started to get very upset at me and he said that he also had these questions he also had some questions and he shared the question and he told him to his father when he was 11 or 10 or 13 and his father screamed at him terribly his father says this was scottson dragging those threatened us my skill and threatened us but all those were some more words I'm not gonna get into a hidden dragon a snitched hidden hidden flag in the snitch Jews don't ask so now he was screaming at me so now he was screaming at me and there was a big big crowd oh so I looked at him and I said now I'm gonna ask you put your hand on your heart and answer me very very honestly as a result of your father telling that to you that the questions disappear because eating huh banished a selfish eyeless and you're a Jew so the meat be a Jew means you don't have these questions so then the questions disappear tell me the truth or you just never dared to bring them up again cuz the abuse was too painful tell me if the questions are not there anymore so he looks he takes a deep breath and his credit he says the questions are only bigger so I said look at what your father accomplished he had good intentions I'm sure he's a wonderful man but he didn't think it through so well let me understand something let me explain something if a child has a question a girl a boy I'm talking any age of course he can't compare a question of a four-year-old the question of a 14 year old to a question of a teenager which today I think is 6 - a question of a 19 year old and so forth but if somebody comes and asks me a very big question when they came with the question in their mind they probably think 50% of the chance 50% he has an answer 50% he doesn't have an answer or maybe 40 60 or 70 30 whatever is when I scream at him and I say we don't ask such questions now he knows a hundred percent there's no answer not 50 so instead of giving him more and more now you know what I did I gave him more Fira more heresy I'm trying to give him more emunah all I told them is a hundred percent we have nothing to say about this there's no way we can defend it they say that there was once a particular type of rebel irreverent who didn't speak at the Tisch ever ever he would sit and sing and give hating and herring in in love whatever they give a sponge cake he never said anything ever never abort once he turns to the GABAA and he says what does the ovum say about me she says do people think I'm a comic haha he says some people say you're a big part of Gotham and some were skeptical it's almost ethical okay six months later he says nevis of the island beggar man what do they say yes me yes he says what he says a lot of people are starting to say you have nothing to say you really know nothing so if I may make a suggestion maybe this Shabbos of their epic an episode about ich if the rabbit could say something by the tears just to dispel the notion that you're an ignoramus so he says how many people think I'm an ignoramus is it 40 percent 50 percent or more he says it's 50 percent of the people he said if so I'm gonna stay quiet since ye says because if I open my mouth then the other 50% will reach the same conclusion at least if I'm quiet I can keep 50% guessing so so if this is if this is the case but this is a situation we have to understand what we do when we dismiss reject somebody with a question all we do is we don't dismiss the question we don't cut lens from the question we make it more entrenched forever and now in their 40 or 50 they are ready for 30 years I convinced there's no answer yeah and then they come to Rabbi why why Shearer and he addresses the question and suddenly I could see the cynicism and the anger and the pain flowing all over flowing from their brain from their mouth and they scream at me they scream at me and the worst thing I could do is take it personal because it's like a shake up of so many years of dealing with a Judaism that has to remain shrouded in strange ignorant mystery because people don't understand that God equals infinity and that Judaism is about infinite openness not infinite repression it's exactly the other way around but this creates a very profound challenge so now you'll ask me what happened with the Mona Mona is never threatened by intellect the mooner transcends intellect and wonder that's threatened by intellect is not called a moon it's called a cult it's called a cult people and cults are threatened by conversations because if you're gonna ask me something that I don't know you made this prove my cultish believes and therefore I say we don't discuss things we just believe if all of Judaism is based on that then if I would have grown up and then is a Muslim home it would have been exactly the same thing so how can even one begin to talk about truth and Munna is never threatened by intellect rather intellect takes you to where it can take you and it has to take you there a mind is an infinite divine gift the mind takes me and should take me whatever the mind can take me but the mind must also appreciate its limitations there is a doorway that the mind can take me to and then the mind says I cannot pass through this doorway because some reality is beyond mathematical equations and intellect and here is where a moaner comes in and wooden is like the sixth sense of the soul the Munna is a skill it's a skill that when cultivated allows you to experience ultimate reality not to understand ultimate reality but to experience ultimate reality so therefore the culture of debate is essential to Judaism eluveitie Davila Kamiya now we come back here to comic if so let's understand the two truths that Bassam am basil--oh are espousing even though they each listen to the other one it's not coming from ignorant it's because there are two perspectives what are these two perspectives and they're both true and yet the halacha is like Miss Allah get you're with me so I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna develop it in my own words vazaha Shem I want to tell you where I first came across the nucleus of the idea and it inspired a whole ray of thoughts there was a Jew I just have it written here there was a Jew who lived in Vancouver he was the rabbi of Vancouver which is a British Columbia he was a calm in mover they dedicated student of the coffered sky in there be strong mayor Hawaiian Kagan in Robin who passed away in 1933 this man's name was Rob Ryan Bear Ginsburg the Bryan berry Ginsberg also headed a yeshiva in large and Poland ultimately left when there was time arrived to the u.s. in 1941 and became the rabbi of Vancouver the kala Vancouver and he was a real student of the coffered sky he passed away in the early 60s 1962 and he was I believe seventy years old there's a very interesting correspondence from the 1940s when he arrived to America he went to Vancouver between the Lubavitch Aruba and this man rabbi hiyya berrigan's with the Talmud of the coffin sky and in one letter from Hanukkah time 1943 there's a long exchange between them about this conversation this discussion and in this exchange of letters very interesting ideas emerged and I'm gonna share with you one idea that the lubavitcher rebbe was shared with reply and bear Ginsberg the Talmud obukhov it's Khayyam about this argument between by shaman vasila briefly it has to do with this question how does one deal with the anxieties the stress the inner tension turmoil and darkness that people have within themselves the pus success AIT's a big buyer it's actually a survival oh yeah there's no man there's no human being there's no tablet in the world that's not lacking something yet that doesn't only mean doesn't sin the real word of Heth is not sin you know what that means in Hebrew avoid right what does it say about Saul I'm Ella the way he shot arrows Kolya Alice IRA the law yes he always hit the target and he never misses yes demeans bash ever tells mm Ella remember tonight Malaka Roja you are new you whoo nice slow mo hot toy him Napoleon does me we'll be sinners we will be missing that is a void and it's a much more accurate translation than a sin because when I tell you it's a sin okay if I tell you it's gonna create a void ah now you said something when I told you it's a sin you feel like a helpless victim when I tell you it's a void now you're a partner in the journey you can do it but it's going to create a void in you object is really avoid avoid when I can speak about qatal him in terms of voids and what's the definition of a Mitzvah the opposite of ket so we translate the midst as a commandment the Gemara however says the word Mitzvah in Hebrew doesn't mean commandment it means command would also mean something else Samsa means a link a connection so Mitzvah means to connect that means avoid you create an openness you know Hashem how do they translate it in school desecration but it's not the translation Google comes a word hallo what's hollow empty space hello ashram means you believe that there's a space that's empty of a shell that's a little harsh up him wash up means you create a hollow valori Sakhalin lowest rain country don't create an empty space where you believe that God is not present all that comes from the fact that I don't feel that Hashem is with me and in me and full filling my life at every moment completely I create a tunnel I create an empty space therefore desecration of our sin really in a deeper way means you're creating a hole you're creating a void but those voids exist in a person's life what is the approach to this generally the tehilim says Samira vas a toy Bacchus all and Virata fail me are you sure cause I admit solution from Erasmus epidemic Samira means go away from ROM and what does it Romney and he translated out they translate round school bad really doesn't mean bad ROM means broken then Gomorrah koi suru a means a broken wall at shaky right and Kyle Hollis it says I saw everything member coelus everything under the Sun a coil heaven loose Rua it's fragmented for ruthless when you believe you're broken that's wrong the greatest draw is when you feel that you're broken you're on you're not home you look in the mirror and you say I'm a broken nobody I McCoy salir oh oh I'm worthless that's the source of wrath why do you feel broken because you're not one with infinity infinity is always wholesome because the ain't safe pervades everything so nothing is broken infinity encompasses all whenever I'm part of infinity I can't be broken how can I be broken if I'm part of the whole why am i broken but when I say God is not here Hillel a sham so now I'm broken and now I actually become a fragmented person from my own perspective Shiva doesn't mean repentance Trueba means return return to that space where you're not broken your host all these translations say the same idea but they say it in a way that speaks to a person's soul to a person's richness to a person's imagination to a person's understanding that a mitzvah verses ahead is not about repression versus obligation but it's about an opportunity to be connected rather than to be broken and fragmented so it's really a very internal journey so what happens first sir mayor or I say toys what happens first this was a big argument between Vaishali imbecilic and it expressed itself in one more debate the Gemara says exude was a very strange debate Kate's out miraculous narikala remember the song Kate said me wrapped and live in a color how do you dance before the cow interesting Mike Lakers so the song they decided to delete one opinion that's why you're not gonna know what I'm gonna say now but if you look of the original gomorrah service page 17 it's there they Sammy I'm Liam Carla cam I see every caller you praise according to who she is Marcus can bomb Isis spoke about who she is don't start making me resumes of Columbus of homework a demonic aid him by the shots in which is Russia Tavis checker diver case of nibel speaks lies and takes money say the truth Carla kamaishi base Hillel says no it's not gonna work we need a generic it'll stuff for everyone Carla Norva Hosoda she's beautiful and she's gracious Casal said the Pacer so Bashar matrons to be civil and says doesn't it earnest to you now that Ally what if she's not mama shots at scre what if she's not mama chakra saboteur some of your grandmother's would say feel few people know the word okay pens what type of grandmother you're at what if she's not mama Scala Novica so that let's put it this way whichever's is what are you lying find something else find something else you can always come up with something her cheese blintzes are one of a generation the columns is that she makes unbelievable Ababa Boston Meho do that cush ever may invest in whatever you find something his family says while you're lying so what is this Hillel say if somebody goes if your spouse goes to the store and buys an outfit and comes home and that's her husband is it beautiful or horrible what does he say he says it's horrible it's beautiful unless he wants to go out with a head shorter he says of course it's exactly what I thought you should get that's what my solo answers as they rush oxide it's only if she can't return it if she could you have to say the truth okay it's a funny argument but Shama says you now that a lie they say loses everybody lines people give compliments they don't mean it they don't think it so that's why you're a lot along what's the what's the nature of argument the truth is that there's a profound argument here but I want to take the argument and look at that idea explains the argument on a spiritual level Carlo refers to a soul every soul is in a state of kala kalah comes from the word cloister nefesh yearning miksa fava gum cold stone off see the catchphrase base a sham leave me you've started around the world high collars yearning King law it means yearning every soul yearns but Kate's of my racket in my rap it means to dance we wrapped in and he Barroso means to what to sift me rocket because when they used to sift flour you ever saw ult Bubba they were dance today Hasmukh solemn to do these things you just go to the hotel but when they used to sift the flour there was a dancing mode so recut but really the truth is much deeper when you dance what you try and doing this dancing is a form of sifting you sift out the brand it's like a sieve you sift out the brand the sediments from the flower that's why dancing spiritually and psychologically is a very therapeutic thing because when you dance in an unconscious way not self-conscious there's people who dance it's part of their resume that's not dancing that's depression but people who dance and they let go when they dance without thinking too much about who they are who they're not they're actually allowing themselves to be sifted kate's of me reacting with their column the column needs to be sifted how do you do it but Shammai says colic Alicia you have to evaluate who you are in a brutally honest way and you got to confront every demon every skeleton every ghost every fear every insecurities don't even begin without us there's no sitting if you don't confront exactly who this neshama is with everything the good the bad and the ugly this Hillel says no common Navasota you have to look at an ashram if you look at yourself and you have to say you're beautiful and you're gracious what's the argument there it's a very deep argument but Shama says if you ignore stuff they will remain there if you don't deal with them they will remain there you must confront everything you don't bring in the beautiful furniture into a house if the house is full of dirt you say yeah we're good knowing the dirt you'll bring in couches you'll bring in your kitchen set to begin me dining room table you'll bring in the art but you know what's gonna happen somebody's gonna pick it up one day and say no that's all right based on my says Sumeria always precedes us a tithe you got to confront the bull by its horns and deal with it that's how it works once you clean up and commend your it to how much you clean up you'll bring in the light of the color base Hillel says this will not work for most people and the reason it won't work for most people is first of all people can get stuck there people can get stuck in their darkness they analyze themselves more and more and more so now they understand everything about why they have this and why they have that and 50 years later they're still analyzing themselves without a day of spunk light clarity or joy people can get stuck there and Lil Sis says not everyone is capable of making their journey and getting out on the other side darkness is a maze and skeletons are a whi winding maze and demons have a tend to be inconsistent and you think you reach the other side and you just stuck somewhere in the middle that's one thing basil--oh says another thing is a person could discover so many things they get into a depression they lose their motivation they end up with a recognition of the sphere everything is bad and what did you do you accomplished nothing so be civil says for these and other reasons that's not the approach you have to start off and say Carla and all the Hosoda there is tremendous beauty in you there's tremendous kindness in you there's tremendous light in you because that is truly Silas's it may be buried it may be inaccessible it may be buried behind lots of layers of toxicity but the aside is itis of yudish kite is don't make a solution don't believe that you are a void you're not a void there is a void in you so if you can discover the wholesomeness in you you can access it you can identify it you can accentuate begin with that when you begin with that what you accomplish is the person is not focused on their negativity they're focused on their beauty on their splendor and their goodness and their holiness and they don't get stuck and vasila says and the more you do that the more that positivity will ultimately the spell the darkness they say a mice very deep story the ballet Tanya came to study by the maggot of miss rich his rebel the magnet of misery she had a son whose name was above Rama malar about ROM the angel you can understand what that the person he was that they called him an angel when he was alive it's not like a woman who told her friend my mom is a mala and the other one started to cry and said I know what you mean mine is I finished camenisch mine is also not a human being no there's a mouth after this camenisch they're both not people but the question is why okay kya Sukhoi dish could mean mile off him and could mean kya Sukhoi - holy cows all the animals so it's depends but wolf is our koi dish now the truth is one guy is comes from the other Caillou's what's a separate pouch so he used to learn they were have looses dibala tanya was a gone island with limited by brahma mama and they would learn for many hours and there were six hours a day for a long time dibala Tanya to go home his wife gave him permission to go for a while and he was time to go home so he gets into the he got comes to the coach to the Baliga he had whatever he had over there and he's looking at the horse he's looking at the horse that's gonna take him on from his rich which is in the Ukraine to his city he lived in Liana which is Belarus it's a Muhammed sits in a sea of it today it's not a far Nasir but then it was was a Stickle machine from the Ukraine to Belarus he's looking at the horse so the above Rama Malik is out there and he looks at the ballot Anya and he says in Yiddish she says far for cooking east of the fence you go and go don't look at the horse so the outer episode ah he has to stay here longer to internalize the message okay he can't go home yet What did he say he was telling him something in our discussion in an ideal world everyone has an animal in them an official Bahamas everyone has a fared in them a horse now a horse has a lot of my lists a horse has tremendous - but a horse could some of them those of yours especially when it gives you a kick there was one saw polish it's sad that he was on a train and he met a Jew - Shalom alechem was to tear and the Jew says it handled it fair I deal with forces of the Lepidus out poked me it just like on me so sometimes you look at the horse and you scrutinize in and you analyze it you dissect it and the meantime you become paralyzed he said far-far cooking stop the ferret you have to go you can't always stay stuck and say but I'm this and I'm this and I'm so full of problems and I hate the world and I'm jealous and I'm insecure and my mother and my father and my brothers and my sisters and my marriage and the shrink and the eldest Reagan Delta bumper and the world in the community and the achievement that everyone is against me somehow God chose me to be the damned enemy of society I could never have it good everything is a problem and you know what maybe you're right maybe you're wrong maybe you're exaggerating but where are you you're stuck in a dark place far far you have to acknowledge always that under all circumstances is a state of you that is well well being is not conditional it's not circumstantial it's a condition that is permanent a person's core is indestructible there's a space in you which is no ibaka sudha it's wholesome it's beautiful it's confident it's optimistic it's joyous and it's fearless and it's secure because it's since it's a helical akame mouth the soul is a part of our sham just like a sham is invincible there's a part of you that's invincible and just like God doesn't need compliments to make him and criticism doesn't break him the same is true on that level of your soul this doesn't mean there's nothing else it means identify with it and live from that space even though there's a lot of other issues going on and that itself will help you slowly reduce the darkness less and less and less Bashar bhai says it's delusional this is fluffs I can gee this is inspirational stuff it's not the real thing we got to go into the thicket of things you can see here be shammai who's right we say a lavell adrylek anion there's no right and wrong you know buddy some ways point very well and yet the halacha is like bishop not because we Shama is not saying the truth he's saying the truth but it's a very profound truth and sometimes the halacha how love that comes from the word what we translate halakhah as law what's the real translation of Aloha movement how many people associate psychologically law with movements think about it halakha Alta Carya Lukas Ella Helios don't say I love to say I'll leave us if you don't see how locker as an impetus for movement you don't understand the halacha we translate a look as rigid warp tarnished really it's a form of movement it's a form of expansiveness again it's all about translations they create shifts in the brain so eight halakhah is like me Silla tell you a story I heard from the person it happened with which I think illustrates it in a profound way and they'll be able to come back and brave there I shall bring it together as a Jew whom I know his name is rabbi manis Friedman who heads a school in st. Paul Minnesota called base kana it was I think the first yeshiva was created in the 1960s late 1960s for a young Jewish women who wanted to return to addition and after the whole hippie era anti-establishment movement in the 1960s many people became ballet chuhwa both men and women saw you she was opened up etc and this was a yeshiva Minnesota school like a Semin and I summon a like us even for girls or young women that came so I read from him with this story he says there was a young woman there who was having a lot of social issues and it was already she wanted to get married and her dating was very very complicated and she came to speak to one day and she says she's been in therapy for years and years and years and the greatest of the great psychologists psychiatrists diagnosed her as being a narcissist and they explained to her why she's a narcissist she became a narcissist as a child to protect herself the world wasn't here for her so she had to become a narcissist because sometimes you're the only one who could protect yourself and you can't even acknowledge anybody else's existence because if I acknowledge your existence that could mean a threat to my existence and therefore the safest way to live is everybody is a mirror everybody is here for me as they say the famous joke if you want to drown a narcissist you put mirrors on the bottom of the ocean okay where somebody once told me about a particular individual he said he's a self-made man and he worships his creator so she was having a lot of challenges and nothing was helping cool the advice garnish garnish so he suggested if I'm honest even as a Habad nix he said why don't you go visit a little Babaji up in New York and share with him the problem okay she takes a flight she goes to New York and she schedules her you see this an appointment with the lubavitcher rebbe which would usually happen the middle of they would see people during the night throughout the night and she comes in and she comes in with a report 60 or 80 pages that she had professionals write-up on her condition and she hands it to the lubavitcher rebbe she takes the papers now he was a speed reader but not Stano speed reader I mean I've seen him myself he read literally could read a page in two or three seconds and it was fascinating I don't know exactly how he did it but the amount of mail he got he had to do it so I don't know if he learnt it how he learned it I'm not so familiar with it but he was not much a speed reader so he takes the the paper and he goes like this puts on his glasses and he was a page-by-page slowly we'd scan through the page so she thought he's being polite you know sometimes a person gives me an article of 100 pages they say you have to read it you have to read it I'm like yeah sure seems brilliant so she thought he was just being polite but it was a strange thing because he went through the whole thing like it like this like this he finishes and he turns to her and he says so what's the problem so she says you read it you have to read it it's very serious I rent I don't understand the problem says what do you mean understand the problem obviously you didn't read it I read it she says don't you see my history my mother and my grandmother and my aunt and my father and my brother this addiction that addiction this house that house and because of he says no that's your history I understand your history I want to know what's the problem now she says the problem now is I'm narcissistic I think only about myself so stop thinking only about yourself this is what she came for I have an issue you see well who I was and how it the case I know I know you became but I'm saying if you want to change so start thinking about other people so she looked at her she says let me tell you what to do you study in base karma how do they serve dinner or breakfast or lunch so they have a counter or smorgasbord they set up the food you take a plate and a fork and you take your food and you go to your table so he says when you come back at the next meal go over to the girls sitting at one table and ask every one of them can I bring you something from the counter now look at you but somebody say I need a spoon a fork more chicken more rice more vegetables more napkins a drink there's not on I can't do that I don't do that he says if you want to think about other people this is what you do you ask people what they need so she argued back and forth back and forth this is what I suggest you to do and then you'll see that you're not on our system she listened there be freedom to told me she went back and it was so awkward for her because in her perception she doesn't think about people that's who she is she is the sick dysfunctional self-centered insane narcissist so she starts doing it the girls are a little you know but fine somebody watches me me from the counterman why not and so every meal she does this what happens is they start relating to her differently so she starts relating to herself differently within a few months she was a different person she was a normal kind sensitive considerate person he said she dated after that she got married she built a wonderful family she's a fine person this is what basil--oh argues and says you could look in the mirror and say you're a narcissist you could look in the mirror and say you're miserable you could look in the mirror and say you hate everybody you could look in the mirror and say I'm a jealous person I'm an anxious person I'm a person but forgiveness I'm a person who has this I'm a person who has that I'm traumatized I don't exist I exist too much whatever it is and you know what you're probably right - you're right if you say that or you could say column Omaha soda what's this ideal life that you're looking for be that life being the person you're dreaming about in somebody else be that person be it in thoughts in words and actions and you know what will happen that itself will bring out from you that part because it's there it's there come on Omaha suit is real it's not a fake thing it's real is it covered over a sheriff and the greatest thing that covers it is your thoughts that it doesn't exist your thoughts that it doesn't exist that's what makes sure that it doesn't exist there was once a couple the night before the bridge they got into a big fight over what of course the name of the baby they come to their of three in the morning says what's this she says I want my baby's name to be Marcia after my father looks at the husband and you said I want the baby's name to be moisture so what's the fight he said I wanted for my father so the robe says what's the problem make Russia she says not my father my father-in-law was a wishlist I would say that there is some idiotic Ghana that Gosselin a codependent alcoholic gambler with Sugarman saying Russian Revolution and sick person I've never made naming my baby after my father more and the father says maybe she's we're not gonna argue with my wife about my father but my father what do you do if you were rabbi what do you do so the big questions the rabbi's have to deal with the rabbi says I need 10 minutes go out come back 10 minutes later it gives a clap he says here's the verdict the name of the baby shall be more Isha brilliance they both scream out after the rabbi says for that we have to wait till he grows up wolf he himself will tell us who he was named after either will see was named after your father's you named after your father these are choices ultimately you create the image of yourself that you want to be and the possibilities are endless you can go into that space that's what this Hillel says still a lavell ethereal Kim Chi and why because sometimes if you ignore baisama you can't even begin to work sometimes you have to go into certain spaces and deal with darkness because you cannot identify your goodness because there's too much excess of thing and furthermore even when you can you always have to have Bashar mies view as a reminder that things are gonna come up and don't get depressed sometimes people's expectations drive them crazy it's not the problem it's the expectation that is not supposed to be a problem a huff Sunanda color could be under there hope everybody feeds them the kool-aid the kool-aid says it's the happiest moment in your life right remember that just trying to bring back sweet memories if it's not sweet I apologize I apologize okay but that's the hope it will be a happiest moment engagement but we flying high sometimes under a couple people are full full of issues full of issues but the expectation was it's perfect perfect so I'm the only meshuggener so I can't tell anybody for the rest of my life I'm the only miserable person bhishan my says even when there's a lot of joy and a lot of goodness things could come up it's all right sure you ever go to great adventures to have these games with things pop up and you gotta shoot it down you know those stuff shoot it down tell it nicely as is so what people have to deal with depression with other stuff they emerge but you identify what it is and you choose the person you're going to be now so that's why in the background you always have to have bhishan eyes view base hillel doesn't tell you deny repress that's never healthy when you deny and repress you're infom misery but it's gonna haunt you don't deny and repress but don't allow toxicity to eliminate the truth of kaolin or Vasudha that's why their dialogue is also like vasila if this is the case we can see how thousands of years before this argument developed in psychology you already had it between my shaman vasila throughout the Kazama it's rather tomorrow in the last century two divergent views developed of psychology I'm not gonna elaborate on this but generally you have the view of dr. Sigmund Freud whose real name was Flamel of Freud who died in in 1939 versus dr. Boris Frederick Skinner who's known as BF who died in 1990 who wasn't Jewish maybe characteristic Freud is the father of psychoanalysis and he advocated to dig deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper until we discover all the schmutz and only then can you extricate yourself from neuroses that people have because of repression you'll be able to confront the demons Skinner and more and more rest Arabists in recent years focused more on behavior the behavioral approach alter your behavior and the inner workings of your psyche will figure themselves out in the process as Skinner once said happiness is found in do's and don'ts happiness is found in do's and don'ts this is what I do this is what I don't do how I'm feeling about this one and that one and that one really on some level I have no but in the source of it the average shaman is alone now this is the whole argument about Hanukkah this is the entire argument about Hanukkah and here we'll see how it develops in this argument that we discussed before the cosmonium come into a base emitters that is ransacked soil contaminated which spiritually speaking represents a condition where your system is ransacked violated Tomic they find the drug of oil a little jug of oil and they light it they light it and we commemorate that victory and that miracle and that light every year but how do we do it but um I says the first night you start with 8:00 and then you can go down and down and down and the last night you liked one camp and basil--oh says the other way around what's the McLucas because on a psychological level the narrative of Chanukah represents our own Kanaka our own commitment and dedication to battle to battle those forces within us that eclipse us that darken us that dark and purity integrity idealism godliness goodness and how do we overcome this darkness and the spiritual or emotional onslaught on our life so base um I says ooh you gotta go in with all the tanks you gotta go on with all that munition there's no way you've got a take on the worst of the worst you got a deal with the crux of the issues you got to confront it and therefore who do you need a lot of lights you need so much light you need so much energy you need so much power you need so much creativity needs so much honesty you need so much sacrifice you need to come in the first night with eight candles in order to confront all of the darkness and fight it then battle it and cleanse yourself from it you know will happen the second night there's already less darkness so now you can come in with seven tanks you don't need eight tanks just look at cyka cyka maybe open the door about you need an extraordinary dosage of light in order to confront everything I you have to confront so the first night of Hanukkah when you're just beginning the process of rekindling your own light after its desecration you need eight candles but every day the inner evil decreases so you don't need as much light as much ammunition as the first day when you reach eighth day the eighth day now you need one flame one flame suffices in order to finish the process of Hanukkah where do you have such a pattern interior bass Shammai says look at Circus Circus we went from 13 to 7 which make up the number 70 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 makes up 70 you could trust me unless you want to do the calculations yourself the 7d represent the 70 nations of the world what's this idea of going down and down and down the answer is when we look at the world there's endless multiplicity every nation as its culture its ego its territory its issues and that's why there's conflicts and Wars each day of circus what you're trying to do is you're trying to that banished to dispel more and more darkness and therefore automatically there's more unity so 13 becomes 12 11 10 9 8 7 your mash maniac series is one in the ultimate vision of a Hashem lamella how colors by emoji yarmulke - Maya HUD the more Hashem Akkad is revealed in civilization the more all the nations become one becoming one doesn't mean they're not diverse becoming one means they're not threatened by diversity because God is the author of diversity so the idea of circus's I start off with confronting tremendous amount of conflict and posters of hila the resistance becomes less and less and less why does the resistance become less because the first day I attacked the Niagara Falls of the Texas City the second day ayat accent the third day I attack further symptoms and then at the end I just have that little piece that's left over one candle is enough comes base Hillel and says don't start with focusing on darkness you know why it's very vicious and it's very tough and you can get stuck in you can get the press a me never gonna come out of it and you have to know how to do it let me tell you what to do light one candle light a flame you say flame I don't have any light I'm full of darkness I don't have a lot of light missiles I know you don't have a lot of light but one candle you have you don't have a lot of light you have one candle base Shama who's confronting the darkness has already eight candles base Hillel says I know you don't have eight candles of one candle you could find one little spark of light you can find light it up make it present make it manifest breathe it live it internalize it believe in it let it cast its glow around you let its halo-halo let its halo encompass your environment hold up that one candle which is surrounded by an enormity of darkness you know what will happen it won't all go away but a little light dispels a lot of darkness will be dispelled so tomorrow night you'll be able to find two candles and the third night you'll be able to find three candles and the fourth night more darkness will be the spell you'll able to find four candles and the last night you'll be able to find eight candles a whole different approach based on my papa's mihaela Base Illinois silver Hollow so of course base Shama is ideal they Shama is the perfect manner that's where Bashir comes now lockers like this Shah my it's ricotta Mojave minarets in our world they Shama is the words of the Living God but that lava is like this hello don't ignore the negativity but don't make that your priority your priority is to celebrate that you're a kala Nava hassle you want to stop being selfish don't analyze yourself for years do a favor to somebody every day do a favor somebody you want me solve it no really I am and I'm doing it to myself could've difficult good I need please occurred I need this enough okay that's all part of your doctorate and nothing is real your idealism is your greatest source of paralysis don't figure it out but one thing you have to know you have to believe that somewhere there's real kindness if you don't have that then you'll always defeat yourself you have to know it's there you live it you'll ultimately access it you say you want to get rid of your fear what exactly are you afraid of making a call to this in this person call call that no I can't will you say what are you gonna think they're gonna think I'm right I'm wrong they're right I'm wrong I'm gonna speak to them for 20 years though whatever was gonna happen to me and my mother yeah make the call but I'm so scared what are you scared of McNichol so make it light a candle light a candle access that light I know the darkness is there don't get rid of anything tell your darkness Brooking my boy and Bechet my shell it's a pleasure to have you make yourself comfortable in my house in my life in my psyche I know you'll be here for very very many years like every summer wish on employers I wish you well but one thing you're not gonna be given a meal anymore I'm not gonna feed you I'm not gonna build you I'm not gonna worship you you'll be there one day you'll be a little hungrier one day you'll be a little fatter one day we'll be more satiated okay people have ups and downs I'm not gonna feed you and when your light starts burning the darkness decreases and before you know it you're monody is shining brightly filling your home and your life with light have a wonderful Konica this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot a yeshiva net slash donate