The Highest Form of Self-Love Is Showing Up When You Least Want to | Maamar Beshah She'hikdemu #5

the yeshiva.net. >> Okay, today's class is graciously dedicated by Susan Weissman as a and a merit for Bena for all the blessings materially and spiritually in the most revealed and abundant way. Amen. And thank you so very much. also dedicated in the merit of banelben Esther. So we are up to in the mimer which is the second to the last chapter in the copies it's page 190 the second paragraph. So after a long conversation which started off about the two crowns that the Jewish people received when they said NASA before Nishma and an explanation of what Kesser is and the truth and the depth and the power of silence that's beyond words. The eagle hag deeper than the cal. And from there the three stages of mitz and then escafia is and then a long discussion about davening the stages of dvening the then all the way to where you say you open my lips and I will just channel your words. and how the first level is rooted in the third level and a long discussion on the steps versus the ramp on the misbayak where there's two ways of climbing the ladder of life. One is through steps and one is through the ramp the uniqueness and advantage in each one. And yet when you start a misbehaves and finally a discussion about the muted dove, the muted distant dove that speaks about when he was captured in gas by the pushim and uh Golio's brother was the king Akish and they accused they saw David. He's the kill the kill killer of Golioas and David had to s fe fain insanity in order to save himself from uh from uh pending doom from from a death sentence and that's when David composes a poem it's a it's a it's a poem it's a it's a composition that is dedicated to the distant muted dove ya is a dove we also have a dove and Alam is muted and is distant. And he explains what what what the symbolism of that is, the loyalty of the dove. And the closer you are, the more distant you feel and you experience the power of silence, but not only does it not stop you. On the contrary, it doesn't stop you, but it even motivates you because there's two states. There's one where a person is looking for Madreas and one where a person is in a state of BL. So after this whole long discussion, he comes back now to the NAS of Anishma of the beginning of the mimer which was the holy of what are what's the connection between the crowns and nasavishma. So that's where he's now going to go to. Hey based on all of this. The whole is started that whenever there's a response to something it's not just technical. You did something so you get something nice. It's like a trophy rather we create the results. So hakdamasma is what created the crowns. Based on all of this the whole explanation now we'll understand what is the whole concept of that the Jewish people said before he ostensibly at first glance the word nasa means we will do nishma means we will hear so says at the end of parish that the Jewish people said but what does it mean the meaning of the word nishma can't be just the Hearing of the ear. I'm going to do we're going to do and then we're going to nishma. We'll hear what you have to say like you say to listen to hear the audio the audio capability before you heard. You can't do anything. You first have to hear what to do in order to do it right. I say I'm going to do what you want and then I'm going to listen to instructions. First build first build the machine and then look at the manual. You see you got it all wrong. You don't do it that way. Nishma is a preparation for NASA. Let's hear. If nishma just means to hear, hear the information, hear the instructions. So it's nishma then nasa. You can't do before. What are you doing? That's pretty technical. He doesn't know what to do. So if means literally we're going to hear. It doesn't make sense to say certainly doesn't make sense to glorify. What are you glorifying? that what they're just doing things blindly without hearing what you want. When you say here, it means comprehension, attaining a grasp of the theme of the concept, right? Like we say for example doesn't only mean listen physically to the open your ears and don't put a plug in your ear, right? But when you say listen to me, listen to me. It means I want you to listen attentively to me. I want you to really tune in. You have other other it says speak because your servant hears. Doesn't just mean that my ears are working. It means that I'm I'm receptive like Yiddish. There's something called headen and deadhead in. Yeah. Head in is I heard what you said. I hear you. But then there's I hear you. Right. I hear you. I don't only hear the words. Huh? right? It changed his whole life. He heard something and it changed his life. So he says it means you hear it in a way you internalize it. You get it. You comprehend it. And the word nasa doesn't only mean technically. You're doing something like the word msa but it actually represents meaning you're challenging all the voices inside of you that are taking you away from it for example we have an expression you compel people in the community to give the system in every city everybody had to give so even it was like a taxes a tax right so the IRS doesn't wait for you to voluntarily say I want to givea means you compel you force. So the concept of nasa is not just the of doing but it's challenging yourself. That's what means I'm subduing the voices that are telling me not to do. So what's the even when a person doesn't comprehend or fully comprehend? Nonetheless, the person challenges themselves, stimulates themselves, compels themselves. The person subdues himself to do that. And this is why this was a preparation for days. What's the idea that they said before it means they established in their own consciousness of they put it on a greater higher rung than ofishma. Now this is aishimasma doesn't just mean but he's saying something here that's deeper than the literal interpretation. You could just say they understood everybody understands that if you're going to wait for yourself to be in the right mood for something you'll wait forever. Right? If somebody says the only time I exercise is when I'm in the mood of exercising. Okay? So maybe once a year you're actually going to be in the mood. maybe twice a year, maybe one day every day, but certainly in the beginning, and if you're not used to it, you understand that there's nothing productive and meaningful you're going to ever accomplish if you're going to wait to always be in the mood of it. Everybody understands that. There's going to be times you're going to be in the mood of it, and very often times you won't. And the power, it's true with every job. It's true with a company you create. It's true with any task. any task any task if it's the like I said other time the only thing you begin on the top is when you dig a hole everything else you start on the bottom yeah so everybody understands everybody understands it could be the most exciting thing in the world you're getting married if every single moment you have to be in the mood and that's the prerequisite to be able to stay in this connection everything is going to fall apart everybody understands that of course you want to go into it with a with with a to be interested to enthusiastic, right? But it's true with any job in the world. There's going to be days that are on and days that are off. It's going to be days you're filling up to days you're not. Yeah. And the way to do it is there's a discipline. There's a consistency. It's called consistency. Consistency means that the consistency itself creates new neurons in in in the brain. And when you start seeing the results, you already realize the benefits and you become more excited. And then you know even when you're not excited to do it, then you won't regret it. So when you speak about NASA in that's a pretty simple thing that NASA means that even before even if I'm not understanding exactly or feeling the full uh passion behind this nonetheless I'm going to challenge myself to do it. That's however a technical that's almost that's utilitarian. It's practical if you want to get anything done in life. Yeah. Huh. >> You got to do it. >> You got to do it. Yeah. People go in, they want to study something. Yeah. They want to master it and they want to become good at it. You think every day they're going to be interested. So, what what am I doing? But nonetheless, you know, you show up. Yeah. Every mother knows this with children. Every father knows this with his children. And anything that's meaningful, that's what happens. You show up. That's not the big kesh. That's not the kesh. Number one. another kadesh that you have to explain. I'm just doing a few disclaimers so you should understand what is the he didn't need a whole about and to say that when you know something is true even if you're not in the mood of it you challenge yourself. We we all do it every single day. And the best example is is people who exercise and they know the benefits and yet sometimes they're lazy. And if they give into their laziness, they're going to always have another excuse. Today I'm busy. Today this one needs me. That one. It's always good excuses. There's pressure. There's stress. There's a hundred things to do in life. There's always a reason. And if you're going to look for those reasons, you're not going to do it. I get that. Another important thing we have to understand doesn't mean that you do things blindly even when they don't make sense cuz then you shouldn't do it. doesn't mean that you force yourself to do things that are insane, that are crazy. Why? Just to say when you say he's not massing it, I mean, I may not appreciate the full depth of it, the full meaning of it, but I know that it's the right thing. If you're not sure that it's the right thing, then you should question, right? Somebody comes to you and says, "You should right now, you know, take a plane and go to this in this country." And I you say, "Why?" You say nasa before nishma. Yeah before doesn't mean that you shut down your brain and anybody who tells you anything you say nasa before nishma before nishma makes a lot a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. To put it differently when did the Jews say nasa before nishma? They said it to whom did they say it? They said it to Hashem who just took them out of Mitzim. They saw the 10 plagues. They went out of mitz. They saw creasams. Yeah. They were uh surrounded by clouds of glory. They were they had a rolling stone of beer going with them in the desert. Yeah. And then Hashem says, "I want to make a I want to be in a relationship with you." They're saying, "We're in." I'm just saying people should should not confuse it that it means you you're in a cult. Yeah, I I want you should do something in life. Explain to me why. You don't ask why. First do it. Why? That's a horrible question to say that. You have to be careful. If it's your creator, if you know it's your creator who loves you as much as you love yourself, maybe more and is here for you, then yeah, of course, right? A very simple a very simple a very simple example for that was if you have a doctor right who writes a prescription and he's a good doctor he's been with you for 25 years he's helped you saved your life he writes a prescription for this particular medicine you may not understand it but you're still going to take it because there's trust and the trust is not based on the fact that you've been brainwashed the trust is based on experience if there's no trust if you heard all terrible things about say before doesn't make sense there has to be trust TR there must be trust once there's trust then makes a lot a lot of sense I'm just mentioning that too this was after there's a relationship you see how much love there is of course so that's all we can understand I mean I it's people don't often understand it that's why I'm mentioning it the word has a sentence somebody walks over you in the street with a washing machine and says, "Here, I want you to carry this on your right shoulder." And then they come with a boulder. I want you to carry this on this left shoulder. And you say, "Why?" Say, "Kabalas." The word kabalas means accept the yolks. I just put a yolk on you. Here's a washing machine for the right shoulder. Here's a rock for the left shoulder. Right? So, if I were you, I would say you can carry both of them. And it's good for your uh physique and workout plan. Kabalas. has a sentence. That's where it comes from. So it's a beginning of why do we say before the opening of course you're accepting whose yoke? What yoke again? If you have a personal trainer who's done amazing work with you, yeah, you lost 45 lbs. You're a healthy guy, you have energy, and then he suggests to you to do a certain workout. So even if you don't comprehend the benefits, the guy has done miracles for you. So you're like I trust the guy means it's your creator who knows your brain, who wants you to be successful, who loves you, who's crazy about you, who wants your success as much as you want your success and maybe more. Who knows your pimas, who knows your vulnerabilities, who knows your weaknesses, who knows your challenges, who knows your gifts. H that's a that's all not the it's very important stuff what we're saying. But these are like the prerequisites. I'm making that it's it's really simple but it's sometimes confusing. People don't understand what means. It's sometimes like a certain situations where in a school for example or in a house a principal or a teacher or a parent gives a certain rule and between you and me it doesn't make sense. They themselves know that make doesn't make sense. And then the students who are usually very smart, they're like, "This doesn't make sense, right?" And they they, you know, they they they touch something and sometimes the answer is. Yeah. And it could be very damaging educationally because basically you're using the words as a mask to cover up for the fact that you don't know why you're doing this or you haven't thought it out or you're in a bad mood or you're impulsive or you're losing control. So you're taking a sacred divine concept which is the foundation of life and you're you using it you're using it as a as a crutch. Yeah. You know you're manipul you're manipulating a very divine concept. And what that's telling the students is that that kabalas basically means people who don't have a way of explaining themselves and their method to exploit you through their power whatever that power looks like is by using the word kabalas and it's a great way of getting you to do things even though you know that it doesn't make sense. So what does that tell them about the word kabalas? that it's foolish and blind and that's a terrible terrible mistake because is the foundation of Yiddish but it's the healthy foundation of Yiddish means that not every truth in life I'm like I'm going to master fully intellectually and emotionally at every moment of my life and therefore there's trust there's trust like I trust the prescription of the doctor I'm not I didn't go to medical school I'm not a pharmacist if you want to study it go study it If you're going to wait six years to take the medicine, you know, you take it. But but it's based on a trust. It doesn't mean that a person doesn't have what to say for themselves. So therefore, do it because I said I should do it even though I I I don't even have a basis for what I said. Yeah. So we could all understand that. So comes after this. We also understand once there is that trust to wait till you're always in the mood doesn't make sense. Okay. But here the is deeper. It's deeper than all this. It's based on this of this that has a it's not just a necessary I'm not going to say evil but a necessary step in life. Of course it would be much better to exercise when you're in the mood and be enthusiastic. But even when you're not in the mood still do escafia. I get that. Still do it. It's like a necessary step to get into things. That makes sense. But the Reb says means that they comprehended that in escafia there's something great that doesn't exist even in other levels. So it's not just a technical prerequisite because if you're going to wait till you're in the mood, you're going to wait forever. But qualitatively, there's something infinite here. That's what he says. Take a look. That's already they placed in in in in the in the latter of reality in the scheme of things they placed of NASA in a greater mile in a greater location spiritually than the of Nishma. Of course, you need NASA before Nishma. If I'm going to wait till I'm in the mood, I'm going to wait forever. That's that's normal. Everybody understands that. If I make a condition with my boss, the only time I show up for the job is when I'm in the mood. Fine, I get it. We all do. We all do these things, including waking up in the morning. You wanted to wake up in the morning today. Love Dafka. I actually couldn't sleep, so I had no I couldn't stay in bed. But we all there's something called snooze, right? And you still wake up. Right. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Commanded. >> Exactly. Right. So, of course, you would say like this. Of course, nishma should be before ideally. But in life, you have to be nishma. That's just the way to do it. But of course, ideally, what's higher? Of course, nishma is higher. Nishma's internalization. Nishma's comprehension. Yeah, LMI. You're fine. We're not on that level. My mind is not always online. My heart is certainly not always online. So that's not the that's of this higher. I think he said in their hearts they they were that the is higher than and why is that such a he explains the mayh >> irregardless of the trust >> no of course it's based on trust but but you would think of with trust if I appreciate what you're saying fully it's certainly much better even if I don't if I went to medical school and I am a pharmacist and I read the prescription. I say, "Ah, now I know what when I'm taking the medicine, I know exactly what I'm doing. It's much better. Even if I don't, I should still take the medicine. You can take the Tylenol even if you don't understand how Tylenol works." But here the is that there was something in NASA that they understood is greater than what's the even though of is basically based on when you get it get it here doesn't only mean intellectually as a computer here is fully getting it meaning it's with a gishmak you understand it you appreciate it it's visceral exactly very But there's a comes with in I don't know how you say that in English. In Yiddish it's gathering. >> No, that's kibutz with a vase and and with a cough. Here it's huh. >> Yeah. When something is is like >> shrink >> shrinking condensed. So it's a very interesting word of nishma is blissful which is expansive of nasa is because that's what isafia isafia means I'm listen there's voices inside of me that say I don't see the point here back to par says you belong in so the voices inside of me say no so I have to basically there's an element of shrinking here there's an element of subduing it's not fully expansive because there's a protest inside of me that I have to deal with and I have to say no to. So there's an element of pain. There's an element of there's a challenge there. You're really stretching. Why? This is the silence that's rooted in. That's the This was the real preparation for matan ta that they accessed the crown of ta the cassid of ta because ta is really rooted in cassid and crown. So here it all comes together. The whole ma was based on the three steps that you shouldn't think of as scafia is just a necessary step in the beginning in order to get higher. But that in this you have the that's the seed of the whole of the third level the three levels and right the first is you escape par the second is you transform the par inside of you. The third is ego death. It all begins with Iskafia. That's the seed of Mitsas. Because really, what is escapia? Iskafia is the ability of a person to say no to their mitsas. But it's rooted in mits. It's just not unraveled yet. It's going to be unraveled later. So is and that's the whole idea of the distant muted dove. And that was the whole idea of the kvish of what's the upon that how could you go up to the kvish which is of it's through the of and that's the idea of kesser which is the silence. So there's two ways you could look at escafia. One is you look at escafia in a more in a more negative way meaning yeah like I have no choice. This is the right thing. I'm so not in the mood that that's not >> dev gratification. >> Huh? >> Delaying gratification. Yeah, it would be nice if if if I had if it was fully with with full gratification. But it's not. It's okay. So do it. You don't want to lose it completely. But there's something else is really the gift of at every moment. How does it translate right now? It translates right now that I'm saying no to this particular voice. But it's representing a deep deep oneness, an intimacy that in a way is even deeper than a hapka. >> It's not just a means to an end. >> Yeah. So it's not just a means to an end so that you don't slack off because then you're going to get nowhere. You're still going to stay stuck forever. >> Yeah. That there's something in the that's much deeper even than the it's not it's not LIKE YOU'RE CASE. OF COURSE, IT WOULD BE NICE IF EVERYBODY HAD that brings you to why because that's the silence. Because real truth is higher than mitsas. Real truth is kesser. Kesser is the it's the silence that can't be communicated. In escafia, there's much more silence than inka because escafia is surrendering. And whenever there's surrendering, you're surrendering to a silence. You're not surrendering out of weakness. You're surrendering out of the deep awareness that truth transcends my identity. Wow. That makes you a foress the gave them the which is the silence the typhus. This is very uh >> it's a revolutionary idea. Huh. Shika is fundamentally connected to NASA. >> Yeah. NASA in its essence is silence. And that's really what all escafia is. It's a silence. >> Can you be could you be comfortable with silence? What does it mean to be comfortable with silence? Comfortable with not knowing. Comfortable with discomfort. Comfortable with not being in a place that I wrap my brain around it. Iska doesn't have that. Isab is an amazing gift because you're aligned with God. It's galdic. You're a transformed person. But there's no silence here. On the contrary, I don't have to surrender. I am I am permeated with it. We're not knocking that. That's going up step by step. That'safia and are in the same frequency. One is a full embodied escafia which means full ego death and one is ego death even when the ego is very powerful but it's the same frequency of bal of silence. There's a lot of humility. Yeah. It's not looking for Madreas. Scafia is not a Madre is a Madreaf. There's no there's nothing to write home about. And that's why you have to begin with it. Because with the moment you start seeing your like, "Oh, I'm a low life. I'm done." With there's something very lowly about me. Yeah. Good morning. I I always knew that. I'm fine. You're not afraid. You're not You're not in a madrega. If you're not in a mad if you're not looking for madregas, you're not afraid to the fact that there's things that are very very bothersome. They're very, very even ugly. There's no shame and guilt around the fact that there's stuff inside of me that are really, really not very nice. If I'm a bal Madrega, there's a lot of shame and guilt around that. So I have to either suppress it or repress it. You remember the difference? Suppress is conscious. Repress is unconscious. Because I'm Abal Madrega. How does Abal Madrega come to such erva? So the truth is it's not really an I repress it or suppress it because I have to remain abala or or I tak fall down from all my madregas. I end up in the abyss and I'm like I'm done and that's the end of the greatest danger after experiencing ecstasy of a revelation of God is you're going to discover your that's the la it's fascinating if people don't realize the depth of that paras is the para of matra what should be the last words of that para I know something holy something something nice something godly epis like this is the moment huh at least cheesecake but at least not not at least not cheesecake with this whatever it's holy whatever so it's like no and the garra says an expression about is that you know everything with a if you make a mistake the main thing is how you end it right how you end it you know in in a flying the landing is very important You got to know how to land. Landing is not easy. How to finish. Those of you who speak should know how you finish is very very important. How you start is also important. But you finish. What's the So what's the finish? The the end zone of parro. It seems very antilimactic to put it mildly, but the truth is that's the that's the whole here. greatest danger of mata is that you have an that you're going to discover not today tomorrow. It goes back to what we spoke about many times about right what happens after it's the same of course when you're on top it's amazing but because it's based on steps meaning I need to integrate everything which is beautiful which is malam and which you need but if it's based on that suddenly you see you're not a balad there's some very very filthy dirty ugly things this happens constantly people they work on themselves seriously. They reach very powerful beautiful places in themselves in their connections in their relationships and then out of the blue suddenly they realize that there are some very very nasty or promiscuous or wounds brokenness and wounds that are still there and it becomes very very hard because it delegitimizes apparently all my madregas. So if this stipulation was I have to be a balad either I repress or suppress or I tal lose it all and I'm done. I go into cynicism I go into depression. I disassociate the different coping mechanisms with that. But the bottom line is I'm not on this ladder anymore. I'm out of this. >> Change what you identify with. Instead of identifying it I'm awesome. You identify. >> Yeah. Means I who said I have I'm not I'm not Abuhamad. There's a ramp and I'm trying to climb. Next step on the ramp, not >> saying don't try identify. >> There's a ramp. There's a ramp. Go up it. But it takes a lot of humility. That's ble. It's a bit because it's it's it's it's almost asking what does God want from me right now? And I'm here. I'm showing up. But I'm this and I'm this and I'm that. Yeah, I have these parts. I have that parts. And there's no guilt and shame around it. Yeah, I have an erva, too. It's not going to be exposed. It's already exposed. I know. I know about it. It's not going to be exposed. It's exposed already. I know about it. >> And because I know about it, it doesn't have to be exposed because I I know what it is and I know what I have to do about it and I know where to go and what not to go and how to deal deal with it. You understand? So So that that that takes a tremendous silence. There's a surrender. There's a surrender there. When they were that in that surrender, there's a silence that comes from they was That's the kess that they had then which is the mak which is much higher than the cal that's the eagle. So the in this is in escafia you touch the eagle ink you touch the in the >> and it's so important because people get often discouraged from it's like yeah I'm having a horrible day so what should I do I'm not going to run away yeah I'm a responsible guy so you force yourself but this is a whole different vert I'm Maria, >> right? But this is inter very internal humility because it's knowing that I don't I I'm not about Madrega. It's actually being normal. When you come into a conversation with someone in a relationship and the prerequisite is, "By the way, I'm a bal Madrega." It's not going to be a no one conversation. If you're real bal Madrega, let the world figure it out. Don't worry about it, okay? God will figure it out for you. Could you just Could you just could you just be present and normal? Could you just be honest? Be honest instead of being Madrega. If you're about Madrega, don't worry. It's going to come out. If you if that's who you are authentically, everything is going to come out. You don't have to worry. >> Show up openheartedly with authenticity. And whatever there is, there is. And then you know what? then you don't have to repress anything because I don't have to prove anything. I'm not on any madas. And maybe for one hour in the morning, I'm I'm in a very very good place and suddenly an hour later I get a text or I see something and I'm in a very very dangerous place and I need to extricate myself from it. Okay. Amazing. Wow. What a gift that you know where you are and you know what to do. The va didn't shle you down into the abyss. It gave you aus. Now It's a whole different mindset, but this is a mindset of silence. There's a BL here. There's a surrender here. >> It's it's surrendering to it's surrendering your escafia is surrendering to your humanity. Surrendering to your humanity is very hard if you think you're about Madrega. I'm I'm not so human. I I I used to be human. Now I'm a Malik. Yeah. It's like the two women who were talking and one says, "My husband is a Malik." And the other one says, "Unfortunately, mine is still here. first days. So what does it mean? Right. So the here is it takes a lot of surrender. It's like a bit surrendering to the fact that actually am I comfortable? It's not so easy for many of us especially for Jews. For a lot of Jews am I comfortable with the fact that I'm really human like really human with all the vulnerabilities of a human being. And that's actually my beauty because to be God there there's already one God. He doesn't need a second god. You know when we read in the Hashem says there shouldn't be any other gods. We look at it almost like there's no other god. Don't make yourself a god. But in many ways it's the beauty. It's basically saying I don't need you to be god. I already do that for a living. You know what I need you to be? Human. Ah wow. That's actually the only thing I could give to God. If I'm God. Okay. You have another God. is already one. He does the job. He knows what he's doing. He's already infinite. You're not going to add to his infinity. There's only one thing you can do and that is be human. That That's yours. That's yours to do to you only. Yeah. >> Huh? >> Don't compete with God. >> Right. Abal Madre is competing. You understand? Another step. Another step. Another step. The is not competing. That's my humanness is divine and that includes everything human about me. There's going to be beautiful things. There's going to be challenging things. And of means it's all part of it. That's what it really means. >> Huh? >> Jealous. >> Don't be jealous yet. Don't be jealous. And it's not so easy because we have a god complex. We have a god complex. You know why? Because to surrender to humanity takes tremendous ble. tremendous bit. Now we should explain a real bal Madrega is also tremendous B. You're not talking about a bal Madrega living in La La Land. You're talking about a Malik Kalman. But nonetheless over there, it's all about integration. It becomes one with me, internalized with me. And when it's not, there's a very big challenge. And that's the beauty of escafia. Escapia is rooted in of kalman. You understand? That's what it's rooted. Don't think escafia is rooted in the fact that you're a low life. That's not what it is. We look at escafia, I'm a low life, so I could have a choice. I have to force myself. I really want to speak to this woman. I really want to build this fake relationship. I really want to eat this food. I really want to steal this money. I really want to la whatever it is. But I'm going to do the right thing for whatever reason. I'm afraid of consequences. I'm scared of punishment. Maybe I'm smart. Maybe ah >> whatever it is that's not is that that NASA is in a higher space than I isma it's actually a much deeper there's a deeper relationship there it's a relationship of silence it's a relationship of surrender relationship of silence means I could just say I don't know I don't know I could be present without any form of ego. I can be present in surrender and therefore I can be present with discomfort and I can be present with unknowing and that's the essence that's the energy of escafia. >> Yeah. >> It's there'll be other myk is higher. It's not a it's not a he says this is and this is it's a higher step in it's not a contradiction ultimately ultimately the two come together one leads to the other and one gleans from the other but there's a there's there's a there's a here that the nasa has something higher than that's why they gave them the ka gave them a crown this kafia gives you access to the silence of the of God. The silence of God, the eagle, that's what is a form because I don't have to know. That's what silence is. Silence is that whatever the it knows that there's much more that it doesn't have. And that's what is kafi really is I don't have to know. I don't have to feel. It's fine. There's silence. I'm comfortable with silence. I'm comfortable with surrendering my feelings to a transcendent silence. And to stay there, >> God's hug, >> God's hug. >> To God's hug. Yeah. You say, "Yeah, but I want this. I want Okay, I know I want this and I want this. I want this." And there's something even deeper. And that is God's hug right now. And I'm surrendering into that. And I'm fine. That's what it is. That's the energy. And that was the of when we're nothing then we're having >> Yeah. Yeah. This is we say every morning after if you look into the is pronounced as we belong to him but is lay with an olive not us. Now practically there's no difference because lie with an olive and le with a v are pronounced the same way. But the the meaning is opposite. Loy means not and with an olive means no means to him. I belong to him. So this explains that it's the same thing through the with isn you belong to him. The scafia that's what you mean. Yeah. Where did you see that says it some? I know says it. I think he says it. I think it's somewhere al of a lot of ideas from the the of the creates the so it's both true. It's the and the you understand the B of is not a B of like a B. That's the deoy with an olive creates the he says the three lines in the bottom even though it says and here you're saying it's it's no in the he spoke earlier about the wings of the angels And then when they stand they're silent the wings grow weak and he spoke about being the silence the seizes for two reasons because the in such a place is not and the other reason is because you feel that he's so over there says he hears a voice above the heaven that this refers to the sound the voice which comes from above the firmament which is which interrupts. He explains the says my tongue will respond or answer after your sayings. So literally it means means my tongue will say your sayings. My my my tongues will speak to but the word tan means something else. The word means means you respond to somebody right like you say the Gar says you you you say after the actually means I'm saying after somebody the real learning of is you're not saying the you're repeating it it's Hashem My mouth is a mouthpiece. That's the it's a request that my tongue should actually just say after you. I'm not saying my own words. Like he said before, you say from the word, my mouth is just like a g. It's like a vein, an artery that's channeling your words. That's it. live in Yiddish the said anigong. That's how he said it. An uppigum means a reflection like a mirror is called aigel. And when you see yourself in the mirror, you see an uppigalong. You don't look at the image of the mirror and say that's me. No, that's not you. This is me. The mirror is reflecting. So when you're speaking, you're just mirroring God's words. That's what you're doing. That's the real limit. You go into a frequency of divinity and you're just channeling. It's coming through you, not from you. Like we learned in par it's God speaking through that's why we say I'm going to give you rain. How am I going to give you rain? Remember in the we learned in the last I'm giving you rain you surrender to so then the very eye is just a channel. So that's like the expression of because usually everybody tes means my tongue says your words but then says he should have said other words. Why say is that's the expression of somebody's reading and then I respond AFTER THE SO IS THAT I should respond when I'm learning. I shouldn't be speaking. I should be responding. That's the request. It's a different type of learning. You're learning. You're opening up a safe and I'm learning. I'm actually not learning. I'm just I'm I'm I'm repeating. Who are you repeating? Nobody else is here. The answer is you're tuning in to the divine divine flow. I don't understand. Here's a question. This is true about every single word. Is there any word that's not reflecting divine energy? any what is saying here? What is the Reb saying here? He's quoting the all our words are continuous words that continue the creation. And every time we speak, we're continuing that process. God speaks the world into creation and our words are essentially reflecting those words because really whatever you're talking about. Yeah. It's an energy. What you know we don't we we don't we take for granted the miracle of verbal communication. But we shouldn't take that for granted. The miracle of verbal communication is basically I mean we so take it for granted it's like almost like like what's there to talk about? But the truth is if you think about it even for a few minutes simply the ability yeah of a person growing up looking at the world communicating it talking about it right talking about who you are talking about your experience essentially this is all divine words that are now flowing through me so what's the everything is that way I'm only repeating after God everything is repeating God who answers it's true All the words are repeating from God, but it could come through uninterrupted a buffer. There's a veil and there's a curtain. So the words on the other side of the veil don't reflect anymore the quality and the purity and the truth of the words on the other side. You know, it's like when you're listening to a conversation of your parents on the other side of the door when you were a kid and you hear like interrupted words and you concoct you concoct a message. There's something there, right? But then when you hear the truth, you realize you understood mom was the opposite. You know, they said they're you decided they said they're getting divorced. Really? They said they're going on a vacation. Whatever it is that you heard usually representing your fears. So that's the that comes through the in other words everything is God talking but how is he talking how is he talking is he talking through and paris so the words that I'm communicating are also his words but they're so distorted they go through so many contractions and filters that the words already on the other side are are not the same word so it's true you we're all using the the letters from which the world was created. Everybody's using the energies of creation to speak but it comes through all the veils on this says that this is a that comes from above the is it's also God's words but it's a flow it's in flow. So the lower words reflect the words. That's the that's the definition of what makes something and what makes something not. So there's so much wisdom in the world. And the answer is it's means it's tuning in to the divine flow in the world and it's capturing it. The words of are capturing that flow. If it goes through the it means it goes through a symptom. still using divine energy but it goes through a distortion. So this means that even when comes into it never interrupts its flow. It always has the which is the silence the so even though it's rooted in and to access the crown of the silence of the what was the what was what what allowed them to experience that that's what gave them the crown the two interpretations of crown mach and silence That's the B of NASA even though it was not yet integrated because that B of NASA that B of the that's rooted in that's rooted in the that's the that's the that's the furthermore the G says in the same about the crowns one of the very fascinating things say is it says by they stood below the mountain under the mountain. Now it should have said they stood near the mountain. So the Gmorra says very famous Gammor Shabas. Hashem took a m the mountain he overturned it on their heads like a gigas. A gigas is a vat like a big big barrel. It's called a gigas. So he took the mountain and he overturned it like a gigas. Like an overturned vat and he put it over their head. So now they're under the mountain and he said if you accept the good and if not this is your burial place and the garra says maid means thank you so much means if somebody forces me let's say to sell their house a mafio he comes to me he says if you want to live you you sell me your house legally I'll give you a million dollars here's the house so there's something in called me means you call in two witnesses and you have them write down a document that it was forced. So ra says from THIS is a statement that the whole title was forced on the Jewish people. It was and then the Gmorrah says only in the time of did they finally agree. It says, "So this is what the Gmorrah says. The day of he takes the mountain, puts it over their head and threatens them. Yes, you want it. Great. If not, there's a quotes. If you look ask question right at the end of so I don't understand they already said yeah according to Kazal on they saidishma they said yeah we're going to do it we're we're happy we're happy even BEFORE WE UNDERSTAND WE'RE HAPPY THE NEXT DAY HE'S LIKE IF YOU DO IT GOOD IF NOT I'M KILLING YOU THEY SAID yeah Can we just recognize that it's exciting to get a tariff in the bos? >> Of course. I just want to >> of course the whole bosani you forgot bosani the whole of the bump. >> Mom, dad and wait till you see what the ta is. You think you're excited now? Wait till you see what the bos said. What does Typhus answer? Toys answers, if I'm not mistaken, Typhus says that Hashem was afraid that when they see the fireworks by Matra, they're going to back out. They said, "Yeah, until they saw the whole, you know, the whole spill." That's what says once they see the kas the oh no, no, no, no, NO, NO. AND THEREFORE WAS COVERAS. YEAH. >> RIGHT. But still, it's right. Of course, the question includes also a deeper question. What's the value of choosing a nation based on threatening them with their life? Right? That's the real that's the that's the that's the question has a technical side and has a soulful side. The technical side is they already said yeah. The deeper layer of that is and even if they didn't say yeah like what type of relationship is this going to be? I mean, imagine it, right? A wants to propose to his kala. He proposes to his kala with a bottle of champagne. She says, "Yeah, I'm so excited about the relationship. I don't even have to know what you're interested in, what you're going to go because I just want you." Amazing. The next day, he brings her under an elevator shaft, right? It's a skyscraper, so it's like 199 floors. And he says, "Okay, here's the deal. Here's the deal. If you say yes to my preposition, I love you. I want to marry you. Great. If not, the elevator is coming right down. Okay. Right. Right. Till the hears about that one. Yeah. So, we take it for granted. Okay. So, it's a very like and and so you have a question. It says they were under the mountain. Okay. to find another explanation from this. Kazal had to make this idea and what does it even mean? Is it a physical thing? But he pushed it to he pushed picked up the mountain like and just like the greatest one of the greatest miracles. Why it doesn't say he picked up the mountain three million Jews were now under the mountain. What's the idea? So the is going to show the of the he's going to show that the whole is this of the unbelievable verse from the bos which answers all the questions what it meant and why it was done and even though they said so take a look said the reason he did this was not because they weren't interested they were interested like said to teach there's going to come a time in history and a time in people's life where you're not you don't have you're not interested you don't have the enthusiastic passion the person shouldn't then feel that they're disconnected and therefore they're just free to just to let let it all go because I'm not there I'm not emotionally present was empowering people to give them the ability to be able to challenge themselves when they don't feel there should be at least even though in their emotions there is conflict. In other words, what the is saying here is was a pivotal moment. It was a pivotal moment. Why >> was a threat? >> It wasn't a threat. It was an tremendous empowerment. The question is going to be as follows. By they were flying high. It was complete ego death. When you have ego death, there's no escafia. There's no escafia. There's no there's nothing separate. Great. Here's going to come. Come 2,000 years later, 3,338 years later, a Jew is sitting in the morning. Not only does not have an ego death, he's experiencing all of these different voices inside of him. So maybe maybe he's going to say, you know what, I'll do it anyway. But certainly he's going to feel this is not the real Hashem. This is not what Mata was. Mata was full integration, full synthesis. is Hashem was saying is not this is not just avid because we're a bunch of losers who have big iss in that moment of he already put in the DNA of that's the gigas not because they weren't interested he was showing them that in the relationship there's There's different phases. There's different modes. And when you're going to be in a mode that you have to do, don't think that this is like AV IT'S LIKE, OKAY, WE'RE ALSO CONNECTED. We're also Jewish. This is how mata happens through. It was almost like this IS HOW I'M GIVING. I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE TA WITH HIS I'm going to give TA with his kafia. So that ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DOING IS you're experiencing mata you're experiencing. Even though in my system that's not registering as it's registering as a difficult challenge as a difficult war but that's what it is. This is how mata had to be. In other words, to put it in different words, the of the first day of had to be even by maid even in the third level. Just like we said in the beginning of the mime that the niss of mim already has the seed of mitus is in escafia. Here's the opposite. When you AT THE HEIGHT OF MITZ, he said now let's go back to escafia. You have an ego death. NO, NO, NO, NO. Let's force ourselves. What? You crazy. WHY SHOULD I FORCE MYSELF? I'M IN. I'M NO, let's go to so that whenever you're having a moment of escapia, it's an experience of this was by they already said they were in God said it's not enough. You're going to have a grandson. You're going to have a granddaughter. There's going to be struggles. There's going to be struggles. What's with them? Let them have an ego death. They're not always going to have an ego death. Some days they'll have, many days they won't. Let them have a sap and many days they won't have a sap. They're going to be a mess inside. So what's that? No mata. This is how mat it's happening through kafa THROUGH ESCAFIA. THE WHOLE MAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE OF ESCAFIA. But not because they needed it because he wanted it. They didn't need escapia. The whole had to happen through escafia to show that incafia you have the whole so to put it in different words in every person's life let's say a person is very enthusiastic about something and they're involved in it and their soul is there and their body is there and everything is there at that moment why would you want to ruin it with saying I'm going to force myself to do it. You don't have to force yourself. You love it. Like you're ruining you're ruining the the the euphor the the the euphoria. You're ruining the ecstasy. Why ruin it? >> Yeah. Yeah. Imagine under a kupa right in the room the and kala are in love and there's a tremendous energy and then it has to be you speak about words in which we're forcing ourselves why the mahal says why do we break a glass under the it says yam he says why we break a glass under the because the first were broken so to the under the you'd have nothing better to do. It's like because the first marriage with God was broken. Okay. So what? So that's why what we're planning on we're planning on breaking the marriage. But there's a very deep var here by introducing that moment into the very experience of ecstasy. You're actually guaranteeing the power of the relationship, the eternity of the relationship. The kafale gigas was a message that this is really eternal. Because there's going to be a moment where you're not you're not feeling it. P you're screaming you belong. Will you be able to empower yourself and say even though I don't want I'm forcing myself to do it. Why am I forcing myself to do it? Not for myself to do it because I'm a robot. I'm forcing myself to do it because I know that the eye is much deeper than the eye that I can experience at the moment. I'm trusting my infinity even though I can't feel it. Is there that ability or no gave them that power and it said it's not avail you're not just a dumbed down version of Judaism because you're a spiritually spiritually lowly person so okay we'll give you something so you don't end up in this is and the reason is because is really the essence of that's what its essence is and that's the so here suddenly you see not only are the two not contradictory but the that was that was the of that itself was the of that's the answer of the now Think about it in visceral terms. If you're standing by mountain, you see God face to face. You don't want anything else. Which by the way differently. He says is a metaphor for love. He says the love of Hashem was so palpable that they were forced into the relationship because when you feel such love, there's no way you could resist it. Of course, you're forced. That's what he says in the because you can't not result is the same. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He says they were forced because you see anoid it's like checkmate. The moment the moment the moment we see a certain level of reality everything is over. All the stick is over. The only reason we play games for many years is because we're blocked. The moment opens it up. You see the truth. It's like over. So, you're forced. So, in that moment, everything is so present. Comes and said there had to be one missing link. What's the missing link? The missing link is that you should understand that part of being human and part of serving God is that there's moments where you don't see this. You don't see the truth and you're stuck in a place where you can easily surrender into to anxiety and despair and shame and guilt and negativity and doubt and confusion and depression. And that's the moment that you can lose everything or you can realize that that's the moment where you have an opportunity of escapia which is and it comes of and that is in a very primal way. It's the seed from which the tree comes from the mat where there's complete complete unity. The way it's translated in in some days is just simple escafia. What's es is scafia? Scafia means there's a thousand voices in me screaming not to do it and I do it anyway. Or the other way screaming is to do it and I don't do it. To say it and I don't say it to think it. He says I says there's a very strong words. There's a part of me that wants to yell. There's a part of me that wants to curse. There's a part of me that wants to disassociate. Means that my thoughts, my words, and my behaviors are going to be aligned with godliness. I My HEART IS SCREAMING. NO. NO. OKAY. The mountain is over your head. What's the big deal? God did it by mountain. You could do it to yourself now. The mountain over my head. And what does the mountain say? What does the voice say? If you accept it, tell the good and if not for what's a death sentence. That's part of escafia. Isafia is knowing that the alternative is an emotional death sentence. I could give into my emotions and it's a death sentence. That's what you have to know. That's very, very powerful. He's not mincing words. What's the motivation of his kafia? Why not go back to the answer is you're going to be buried. This is a death sentence. You can know it. I could follow my heart now. I could follow my mood. I could do this. But it's I'm going to be I'm burying myself or burying my loved ones. AM I FEELING IT? NO. That's why there's a mountain over my head. And this is one of the most empowering things in life. And not to be dejected by it, but to understand that this is only >> Yeah. fully. and then choose and not choose it like oh this is sick this is like like like I'm a I'm a dead robot on the contrary it's understanding and appreciating that this is of you're in the most powerful relationship unless you're looking for madres but for this you need the surrendering and the silence and the humility >> could you also say that know for short you have to forget don't forget the whole structure of the mimer >> the structure of the m was that has three stages niss is escafia but that's not afterwards is not escapia is integration as you said use your intelligence and the main thing is allow it to be experienced in your emotions and in your body and that's and that's which is a higher state In it's called and then it's which is integration which is precisely using all of your faculties and then there's which is where the self is just a complete channel like so the essentially stage two is an evolution after stage one that's why the he went up on a ramp but later as you were getting closer there steps, right? So that's all very very true. But he's saying don't think that in the first state it's just the first state a mitzvah this has in it of BUT IT'S NOT OF COURSE you have to use use your mind he's not saying wake up in the morning do everything forced whatever that's why came after it wasn't a substitute n forget about forget about being interested let's just force Of course not. It's the ability to understand that even in a moment when I'm transcending everything and I'm surrendering it to silence, it's not a defect in the relationship. In fact, there's something in this moment of relationship that is even higher than anything else. >> Yeah. It's it's not it's not it's not a weakening of the relationship. It's not a weakening of the relationship. We think when there's a scaffi it means it's not a real relationship. It's like fake because half of my heart is not here. So he says it's not fake in a way. It's deeper than everything else. It's deeper than everything. It's not fake. Huh? >> Let just to put it in maybe in these words will help. What does bbsus mean? Bitsus means that my home mitsus is divine. Yeah, that's really what escafia is. Escafia is trusting that my mitsus is divine essentially. The difference is in mits is there's no voice that contradicts it. And incafia there's a little par inside of me who denies it. Okay, that's it. and I don't have to identify with them. You see the vert the same thing and mits is the same thing in mits just nobody's contradicting it and in scafia there's a little guy his name is par and he says you're not one with god it's not true I'll prove it to you look at your mood look at your mood you're not one WITH GOD LOOK AT YOUR tya so he has a tya and HE SAYS YOU'RE NOT ONE WITH GOD THAT'S ALL HAPPENED that's that's the whole vertition >> in beth is no opposite position. So God was saying, "You think I'm afraid of opposition by I'm going to tell you there's going to be the relationship doesn't have to be so limited that if there's A VOICE SCREAMING, IT'S ALL OVER." So what? You're in a in your car. Yeah. And somebody's sitting saying, "You're an amazing driver. Continue. Go." And then you're in your car and there's a backseat driver. You're mug. You don't know how to drive. if you're the worst driver in the world. So now you what you have to go into an accident to get into an accident cuz somebody is screaming. You to go down a ditch cuz somebody is screaming. SO YOU'RE STILL NOT you're not a good driver. Why? Because there's a backseat driver who's having insecurity issues and is traumatized from cars and he's screaming at you. So that's why you have to become a bad driver. That's what Scafia is. You're still one with God. You're an amazing driver. Here you have a backseat driver who says you're you're sick. You should quit while you're head. You don't know what you're doing. You're going to kill YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. OKAY. SO, STRAIGHT. >> Stop listening to the voices. That's what real est >> Yeah. Or or at least don't over identify with the voices. >> Acknowledge them. >> You You can acknowledge them because they're there. You don't have to not acknowledge it. That that doesn't help not acknowledging it. It makes it worse. But you don't have to get into guilt and shame and the hundred stories and it proves it up now. You are one with God. Not only you're one with God, you're completely one. There's a voice in you that says you're a horrible driver. You don't know what you're doing. YOU WANT THIS. YOU OKAY? SO, SO WHAT? SO par is screaming. I'm not afraid of par screaming. God is not afraid of par. So he's screaming. What? Why are you afraid of it? Escafia means you identify with the truth of your infinity acknowledging the fact that there's parts in you that didn't get the memo doesn't take away from your hashm and that's why that makes the relationship the strongest ever what makes marriages successful that everybody's flying high 24/7 that's ridiculous I mean if you could do that what makes a marriage successful is when people could look at each other and say we're having a moment moment of tension there's there's a disagreement is a pain but we know that our connection is deeper than our discord we have TO WORK IT OUT and we should work it out it's not a mitzvah to be kafa but that's what makes a marriage powerful when you know that the voices that are screaming I can't deal with this person are just voices and the relationship is deeper than that that's it that's what makes a marriage successful so by mata he did that he was like there's going to be voices and you know But we're still in a relationship. Don't don't be afraid. How do you know? I forced it. In other words, it was a part of you. So even if you don't want to, we're still here. IT'S FINE. SO YOU DON'T WANT TO. SO what the Maharal writes, it's interesting. Maral of Prague writes without without is very hard to understand it. He says like this. This is what he says. He says he saw a medish. They never saw it in the medish but the moral quotes a medish they saw a medish there's a den in in in in par is a den of maes what's a den of maes man is somebody who forces he violates a woman a single girl he violates her into a relationship it's called ma right in English is called a rapist and uh what's the is that if she wants if she wants she may say nobody nobody body's going to marry me. Nobody's going to marry me. So forces him to marry her. Even if he wants to give a get, he can't give a get. If she wants, she doesn't have to marry this guy, but if she happens to maybe I don't know what we're not going to get into the psychological stuff, but if she wants to be with him and and he says, "I don't want tough luck. Tough luck. You eat the kasha that you cooked." That's not of Okay. So the maral says God knew that one day he's not going to be may not be interested in the Jewish people and he might divorce us. So what did he do? So Hashem became a he FORCED US INTO THE RELATIONSHIP he can't give a get because he's bound by it says whatever the mitzvah he gave us he also has to do. So because we have a mitzvah, so he PUT HIMSELF, HE FORCED US. NOW YOU FORCED THE GIRL. YOU'RE STUCK with her. Even if you're not in THE MOOD, YOU'RE STUCK. TOUGH LUCK. SHE'S YOUR GIRL FOREVER. That's what the man writes. Now you look at it. Really? That's the whole Maida. He became a man. Amazing. Wow. God, that was the way to figure it out, huh? You needed a relationship. Was a joke with this mime. You understand the art? It's a much deeper V. It's basically saying the connection between us is so powerful that there's nothing in the world that can stop it. Not even the most powerful temptation, downfall, mistake, betrayal. There's nothing that could be more powerful than the relationship. If I exist, then the relationship exists. There's no me outside of the relationship. That's what means, right? If you want to now put it in psychological terms, when you when he did that to the girl, what happens is there's no her without this relationship. So there's no him without this relationship. In other words, God says there's no space where I could be without this relationship. So nothing can happen. You could betray me. You could run away from me. You could not be in the mood of me. I could, so to speak, not be in the mood of you. It's over. Why? Just like you can't get rid of yourself, you can't get rid of your partner. Wherever I am, you're also there. We're connected essentially. It's like two halves of one one two halves of one soul. It's an essential connection. Say, but I'm not IN THE MOOD. OKAY. SO, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. AND IF I'M NOT IN the mood of my genes, I don't have genes anymore. If I'm not in the mood of my brain, what happens? My brain disappears. What? It's a cup of coffee. I'm not in the mood of coffee. You're not in the mood of your DNA. Shakayak. Okay. Brilliant genius. So what do you want to do? I'm not in the mood of myself. People do that. So they numb themselves, right? I'm not in the mood of myself. Well, figure it out because you have to live with yourself. So escafia means simply recognizing that the relationship is essential. It's innate. It's eternal. It's infinite. There's nothing anybody can do to destroy it. Not even transgressions, betrayals, including not the fact that I'm struggling with it doesn't take away from the relationship. This is who you are. This is who you are. You're in the grip now. Figure it out. So why you run away? So don't run away. That's the So it's just the way it's translated in a way that there's a backseat driver screaming that he doesn't agree. Okay, he doesn't agree. And that happened by Mafigas that this relationship is non-negotiable. absolute and therefore under all conditions you can trust your infinity. You can trust your infinity even if there's parts of you that don't feel it. Now that's an empowering message. That's what everybody needs. You can trust your infinity. I know that in human terms it doesn't always work right but in a marriage right if a husband and a wife worked out their stuff and a husband knows that he can trust his wife in the deepest deepest place and a wife knows that she can trust her husband in the deepest deepest place that means that even if there's problems and challenges and letdowns and disappointments and grievances deep down she's the most important thing to him and deep down he's the most important thing to her. The power of that is under is unbelievable because what that means is that even if there's a hundred debates and arguments and issues they know that and once they both know that that's what you want to fall back on and that's what means means this mat relationship is not based on ecstasy it's not based on honeymooning it's not the fact we're both on a honeymoon in the beautiful Sinai desert right which is a great place for a honeymoon because there's no distractions no phones over there even if they had cell phones doesn't pick up it's a dead zone. So it's a great place for a honeymoon and therefore that's what it's based on. No, it's based on atmus. It's based on it's based on but even if in a thousand years from now or 3,000 years from now, 3 and a half thousand years from now or 3,338 years from now to get it right because mata happened 2448 and now it's 5786. So I think it's 3,338 years for mata, right? And a lot of water came under the bridge to put it mildly. A lot a lot of water and a plenty of reasons to fall apart and plenty of reasons to separate. Jews had good reasons. God had good reasons. And I could if I may add with God, all due respect to God, Jews also had some good reasons, right? It worked both ways. This relationship has not been smooth for anybody. Right? The said was the God put into the DNA of this relationship that nothing is going to break it. Nothing because it's it's it's it's truth. Wherever I am, you are like Roose told Naomi. We just learned in Roose where you go, I go. There's no separation anymore. And that's two people which over there it's not eternal because people are people. But here it's even deeper because it's so that's what and that's what means when you're and you're not in the mood of it and you're having struggles. It's not you're a low person and therefore there's no choice. No, it's this is the this is it. The fact that you have right now my heart is screaming. I want to do something that's as promiscuous. Okay. So, it's screaming. So, what what what's the big deal? The relationship is bigger than that. It's more powerful than that. If people would know this message that you don't have to be afraid of any emotion because there's something that's much deeper than any emotion, that itself is a very liberating thought. There's no emotion in the world that can take you away from your truth and you don't have to be afraid of it. You could let it be and not surrender to it. That's a very powerful message. What's a more powerful message for people not to be afraid of their emotions? You know what that means? You know what it means if all these boys won't be afraid of their emotions? Is this too early in the morning for you? Yeah. I see. You don't have to be afraid of being tired either. They were probably up till 4:30 in the morning. Yeah. >> Got back like 2 a.m. >> Okay. So, everybody's exhausted. They slept you out of bed this morning. Kaleigus kafigas. We were looking for examples. Yeah, that's the advantage of giving a shir to married people. Nobody's forced to be here. So, whoever comes, they want to come. But when you're still in school, it's a little different, right? Yeah. I get it. I get it. I was also in school. This is Kafigas. Unbelievable. Shakayak, right? But you hear you hear the vert not to be afraid. The bos is saying don't be the bos who is the great healer of of history and of Jewish history is telling us you don't have to be afraid of any emotion craving addiction wound that emerges at the surface and tries to take over. You don't have to be afraid of it. Your infinity is something you can trust. And because you can trust it, you don't have to be afraid of anything else coming up. And you don't have to go down that rabbit hole. That's basically what he's saying. We are so afraid of our emotions. I'm angry at you. Okay. So you're feeling angry. I don't want to talk to you ever again. Okay. So your emotion is saying that you don't want to talk to me ever again. Okay. You're still infinite. Kalam is not afraid of the fact that your heart just went crazy for a few minutes. That's it. You saw something very very attractive and you're overwhelmed. Okay. So, you got overwhelmed. So, you the the neurons in your brain started to fire messages. Okay. So, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid of it. It has a space and you don't have to repress it. You don't have to suppress it. Just don't try to be a balad. That's it. That's your safety. The moment you try to be a balad, then just get out. Then you're not then it's not for you. Then you have to make sure that you really really worked out then it's probably not so >> about finding the coordinates. realize I'm thinking this I'm thinking that but realizing that >> of course >> that in itself is not >> of course it's a gift and and and we should say one thing that's what he keeps on saying in the from you come to it's not that you stay there forever you don't stay in the car with backseat drivers giving you migraine headaches forever sometimes doing this work in 20 minutes it's going to change or in a day or in a year it's not that you stay it's not that you stay in the anxiety no From here you t come to mitas. This is the way. This is the path. It's not that we want to keep you under a mountain forest. This is the path through which through which you open everything up. >> The highest form of self love. >> Very good. Very good. Beautiful is the highest form of self-love. Beautifully said. All in overidentify highest form of self-love. >> Somebody was listening. Iscafia is the highest form of self-love. Yeah, it's true. Real self-love. Not loving my addictions or my distractions or my pain or my wounds. Real self- loveve. It's the highest form. You don't see that self-love because you don't want anything else. Here you're actually choosing self-love. You're choosing self-love. That's the add that's the that's the audition in is you're not choosing self- loveve. It happens to be that you love yourself which is good. You you want good things for yourself. You don't want garbage. Isafia there's a part of you that hates yourself. There's a part of you that's telling you go bury yourself under the mountain. But the highest form of self-love is escafia because you're actually choosing selflove. You have a choice. You know why you have a choice? Because this voice is telling you bury yourself alive under the mountain for and you're choosing self-love and that says that was the gift that happened by matra that you can always so now we could put it these words in these words was saying the gift that happened by mata is that you can always choose self-love even when there are voices in you that want to take you away from self-love if it would have only remained with the Jewish people saying yeah Hey, yeah, of course. Of course, OF COURSE. WE LOVE IT. We love it. We love it. We love it. Then 3,000 years from then when you don't love it, you won't know that you're capable of choosing self-love because you would think it's only when I'm feeling it. So the gigas was the empowerment that even when you're not feeling it and you have to choose it because there's another way. Choice means there's two paths. You can choose the path of selflove even when there's another path that's more available to you. That was kafigas. It's always there. And now you could see why the it was the bos who said this. People don't usually associate the bos with escafia, right? It's interesting. People usually associate the BMP with love and bliss and and and uh and simplicity and passion and idealism and avis and everything is love and beautiful and you know in a very beautiful way. But that's not that's that's dumbing down. That's not the truth about the bos wasn't just a simple guy who liked simple people and spoke about that when you're milking your cows just say and when you say and you say to him you're at best and that's it. That's a very that's that's a very very dumbed down version. The bos speaks about escafia as much as anything else. This is all about escafia. But but how the bos speaks about escafia by the bkafia is also a form of self-love. And not only that, it's the highest form of self-love. And that's that is what the bos revealed about escafia that when you're when you're forcing yourself, you're not forcing yourself. You're loving yourself and you're challenging the voices that are actually telling you not to love yourself. And that's really what a scafia is. And that's okay. Let's just finish the last paragraph here. It'll be another five minutes. So now we understand why before brought the two crowns because the B that comes from Kaser. That is what Kesser is. The B that comes from Kesser. Isafia is not disassociation. It's so important. People think escafia there was a who was learning with us many years and he texted me a few days ago he said for many years I really dislike the word escafia people don't like it they want to learn they want to learn my whole life I was told do do you'll get a good you'll be aim you'll be aud whatever it is you'll get and he comes to learn he wants passion he wants idea suddenly back to for this I didn't need to learn for this I could have told do But that's that's that's not understanding that of redefineses too is scaff is escafia is trusting your infinity or as you say it's ultimate selflove and it's so powerful that you can choose it even when there's so many forces that are taking you away from it and that's the greatest gift in the world to be able to choose these things when there's so many other options. Not thinking that God's >> huh >> not thinking that just because I'm in a bad mood, God is like, I'm not interested in you. What's the worst thing that happens in mar forgive my metaphors here? What's the worst thing that happens in marriages? One of the spouses gets into a bad mood and the other person interprets it as you don't want me anymore. You don't want me. I don't want you. I'm not going to want you if you don't want me cuz that's going to hurt. It's going to hurt. I want you and you don't want me. So, how long can you do that for? A day, two days, a week. That's what happens. What if you could say maybe they're just having a hard day? Can you actually be a powerful man and be present? I'm not going to get into the whole masculinity thing now, but what part of being a man is so somebody else is in a bad mood. So what? What happened? Nothing happened. When your kid is in a bad mood. Oh, you're not my child anymore. When my kid says, "Tati, yeah, you're not my Tati." Three years old. Okay, I'm not your Tati no more. And you're not my son. Healthy fathers don't do that. Why? A three-year-old screams. So, so what's the big deal? Right? That's exactly what a scafy mean. means there's somebody okay I'm in a I'm in a bad mood. God God didn't run away. He's not afraid of bad moods. What are you so afraid of? We're already interpreting that God ran away from me cuz I ran away from him. If you ran away from me, OH, YOU DON'T WANT ME. I DON'T WANT YOU. OH, YOU DON'T WE'RE DONE. WE'RE DONE. LET'S GO TO A GET. So says, "Relax. Calm down. We love you. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. It's fine. God didn't run away. He's not afraid of your moods. You don't have to be afraid of your moods. You could be present. It's fine. We love you. He loves you. He's here. You could show up. It's fine. He didn't run away. That's why God is called a husband. And the Jewish people are called a wife because that's the job of a husband. I just said something very important. It didn't come from me, but that's the job of a husband to be present and confident. Even when somebody is having a hard day and in a bad mood, nothing happened. Be present. You don't run away to China. Don't go on your phone. Don't disassociate. Don't like attitude attitude. Be present. You're a powerful person. Don't worry about it. You don't have to run away. You could be present and loving. And you'll see that in a few hours the waves are going to move on and a beautiful ocean will emerge and you'll jump right into it. Okay. So that's the nuda. So that's what means it's the ability to choose this even when there's other voices. And this is what say when this happened. Hashem asked who revealed to my children the secret. What's the big secret of saying beforeh? I told you before anybody who starts exercise you say if you're going to wait to be in the mood you're not going to what's the big secret of what does it mean? It means I'm going to do it even when I don't fully understand it. The truth is the whole is a secret. It can't be spoken. So Hashem says it's a secret because a secret. It's silence. It's that which can't be communicated. It's trusting a relationship that is beyond words. It's a secret. It always remains a secret. Even if you talk about it, it's a secret. You're never talking about that frequency of trust. It's something that is experienced but it remains a secret. Somehow they had an intuition means there was just a voice inside of them that said this is the way to go. This is it. They kept the secret. It's not a a secret you can't share because if you're sharing it, it's not a secret anymore. It's not that secret. So how do you know a secret? The answer is you don't know. You either know it or you don't know it. Right? If you are the secret, then you know it. If you're not the secret, you don't know it. They capture the secret. It's a secret that the trust of Hashem inside of you. And your trust of Hashem is non-negotiable. And it's a secret because there's a lot of voices that say the opposite. Now comes the last piece here. You could think now that this is it. This is where you stay. So he says even though it's about the is not that it remains in that world it comes into the even though comes from a light that is beyond comprehension. The point is not that you have an ego death and you don't exist and you integrate it into your thoughts into your words into your actions. The to the master of the will affects you that you elevate yourself to a space even though on your own you're not too inseparable friends. says the heart, the understanding is the heart. Like we say explain the mag asks a question. How do we say is one of the faculties of the brain? It's not emotions. Yet says Mavenina. So the mag says there's two types of bina. This bina is an intellectual experience. The real bina is the bina that becomes visceral. It becomes embodied bina. So when you say comes from it's comes into the heart that's the sphere which is the 49 gates. This says you begin with the 49 gates. What are the gates from Bina into the mid? Bina has 49 gates that allow the flow into the midas. If the gates are closed, not. But if the gates are open, that's you start with that's the second then is the third level. And that was and that's why they got their two crowns after the two crowns. There was the actual experience of the mat. They received the with joy and with inwardness. Have a beautiful day. >> This class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.