The Halachos of The Three Weeks, Rabbi Yosef Yeshaya Braun 5785

which are written in which every can get a easily certainly has it. If he doesn't have it, at least get it. And for sure is that has a we assume that every does exactly what it says and learns and knows what to do. The was focusing on those extra spiritual components of the three weeks as we will touch upon some of those things but we'll mainly focus on the we often use the expression when we talk about making special good resolutions. And we say if will be delayed when we talk about spiritual behavior that we need to increase our behavior during the three weeks because we are engul and if Mashia will be delayed we'll be doing XYZ even after Mashia will come well we'll still have to we'll continue our and all of that. So as mentioned we need to know the actual we need to know what's supposed to be done so long is not here's the associated with and mourning and the says those who mourn about will merit and be privileged to see the of the mikdash but there's also a focus besides focusing on that there's a focus on learning about those aspects of that talk about redemption and the third mdash if we want to nullify and negate and negate gulus destruction and exile it's not so much about through meditating about how terrible the exile is but more focusing on how great the gula the liberation is. We need to awaken within ourselves a desire and a yearning to gulah and therefore we'll demand that we want to have gula and that's how we'll bring about the gula and then we'll see how the golas the exile really was internally was really all good will transform the darkness into light tells us that since the negative aspects of destruction already begun that's when it was a siege that's when they broke through the wall of therefore there's some level of warning that starts already from the beginning of three weeks And because was unfortunately not built yet, we need to think about the fact that if it wasn't built, it's as if it was destroyed. It's as if it was destroyed nowadays. And if we just think about it that the effect that that will have on us is is enormous. Like the Neb once said that we know that the explains that the the destruction of the Bik is not as if it's happened once. It's a constant thing. It's not as if it happened 2,000 years ago. We're reflecting about the past. Every minute the bis becoming redestroyed again. If we would only think about that then even if aid is has a heart made out of stone when a person sees the actual bim going up in flames and it affects him he would make so much noise and such about that we are right now focusing on that idea that we don't have the b is being destroyed in front of our eyes now that can make a person fall into a person could get depressed a person how can I overcome all the difficulties all the challenges but we know in the depths of our heart that really the strong love of hashem to yen is found in those three weeks specifically in the three weeks and the nine days and in fact as an introduction to the three weeks we have the of is telling us really this month is really a month associated with positivity we just don't see it and if everything that we do even when we talk about the laws of morning we have to do that with one time the said in America we see anything that we want people to accomplish something you always have to have a smile everything is with a smile it's an American meaning we should adopt that meaning so let me go through a couple of the after all of that introduction One of the all the stuff's three weeks are primarily min and not all circles have that minig but it's been accepted pretty much amongst most of one of them accepted in kalis we don't take haircuts in the three weeks haircuts refers to hair of the head refers to any hair of the body refers to men it refers to women refers to children we don't give haircuts to children too if there's if there's an issue of that's a whole different story a woman is allowed to take a haircut if It's reasons in order to be able to cover here properly for reasons that she has to go to the mikvah even if she has to go to the mikvah after tishb but since there's a custom that we don't cut our hair three days before mikvah and she wants to cut her ear before that's perfectly fine. A woman is allowed to remove body hair because she doesn't want to look ugly in the front eyes of her husband for purposes. A girl could remove somebody here and this is even in the nine days when we talk about not cutting hair that includes eyebrows that includes mustache the unless the part of the mustache that affects the person's food it goes into their mouth that's something different that you're allowed to cut in the three weeks a if someone has a lot of hair long unckempt hair that's a problem and that's a problem throughout the year it's a one is allowed to and it's a mitzvah to cut the hair during the three weeks it is a should behave to have very long hair. It could be a question of the is not considered being worn properly. He has a lot of hair and they should cut it even during the 3 weeks. A child that turns three in the 3 weeks, we don't do his traditional upturn in the 3 weeks. He push it off till after until the day after midday. They see that would be on a Monday. But all the other beautiful hug associated with turning three making sure he and all that that should be done in the three weeks as well. If a woman wants to fix her shel, cut her shel short, that's not called haircut. That's cutting a garment does nothing to do with haircut. That's perfectly fine at 3 weeks. I will mention when I say that certain things are fine at 3 weeks. That's 3 weeks. That's not nine days. Well, believe try to have a separate cheer about the nine days. That's all associated in connection with idea of haircuts. What about getting married? So, we don't get married in the 3 weeks. Even imagine if someone wants to make a a wedding without a meal. No, we don't do it in three weeks. Even if somebody didn't have kids yet, there's the very first mitzvah in the mitzvah of having multiply and having children. And in order to fulfill the mitzvah of Puru, one has to have at least one son and one daughter. He didn't fulfill yet the mitzvah. So he's pushing off this mitzvah. No, not in the three weeks. The primary reason is because it's just not a good omen. It's not a good doesn't have a positive sign to it when we do a wedding in a time associated with morning. But if a person got married before the three weeks and the she is continuing in the three weeks then that would be fine. It's no longer practical this year because we already passed full week of the three weeks. But if she may be made in three weeks as long as no dancing and there's no music as we'll talk in a moment about that if you get engaged there's no such thing a person can get engaged. It's so important for a person to get engaged. will do that anytime even on maybe someone is going to be ahead of you in the game. So do it at any time get engaged even make in the three weeks. In the nine days we shouldn't make a proper meal. We should just serve some some delicacy some some small food finger food or whatever it is but not make a proper full-fledged fancy meal with but the general idea of having a even making a small that's perfectly fine in the three weeks and in the nine days as well. Moving on. One of them in hugam associated. Oh, sorry. There's one thing that I missed out. I will mention um electrolyosis or laser woman wants to remove here of her face. That's fine in the 3 weeks. I'm going back a bit. I'm sorry I missed that out before. Next in it says that writes it's good to be careful not to say the three weeks on a new suit on a new garment. What does it mean not to say? means don't eat such a fruit and don't wear such a garment. It is indeed our we don't say the three weeks even on Shabas because some people have the custom that on Shabas they do say and here's a bit of a distinction in it is our custom that's not mentioned but it is our custom that in we don't say but that does not apply to Shabas however when it comes to the three weeks even on Shabas we don't say and it has nothing to do with a with morning we don't say because of morning No, has nothing with mourning and something with morning because if it would be with mourning then it wouldn't apply on Shabas. Shabas ain't there's no sadness on Shabas. There's no availance on Shabas. It has to do with the fact that it doesn't make sense to say we've so been fortunate to reach at this time when it's not such a beautiful exciting time. So we don't engage in even shabas even the person has a fruit that they won't find after tish and they have this fruit ready in their house and you can't keep it until after it'll get ruined for some reason even keeping in the fridge won't work then you allow it in the saying of course you should make but if you could keep it at least till shabas at least to diminish the problem to minimize the problem wait until shabas will stay fresh until Shabas and make on Shabas is not that serious because there are those that say that you could make on Shabas and in this case where you have no choice you're going to miss out the mitzvah because the fruit is ready in your hand and otherwise the fruit will get ruined if you wait till after 3 weeks so at least do it on Shabas. The same thing is if if you could f if you'll have such a fruit after tishb this particular fruit will get ruined. Okay, at least you'll be able to catch up and make the afterish. The person by mistake ate a new fruit. He forgot us the three weeks. He forgot us a new fruit. He made stuck. Now o meals is a new fruit. It's a three weeks is what do you do now is no in such a case you should eat the fruit. So you have to make a if you're going to be eating it, but taste a tiny bit. If a person ate it already and didn't make then no, don't continue eating. Stop eating. And after the 3 weeks, you'll make and another fruit and you'll have a mind in retroactively on the fruit that you ate in the 3 weeks. An exception to this rule is that a woman that's expecting and she has a new fruit, she's has a that she's allowed to eat a new fruit and she should not make for some reason we're concerned that she'll have a craving to this fruit and if she'll have a craving it's going to affect her, it's going to affect the fetus and we let her eat the fruit but we tell her case is a bit of a different case. Normally if you eat the food we make also but a woman that's expecting she's not eating it because of eating the pleasure. She's eating because she just has a craving and because of her condition in s she eats it without a with a sick person that needs to eat this particular fruit which is the new fruit. So they'll eat the fruit in the three weeks. Also as part of this of not making they also developed a minute of not buying or wearing new clothing important dignified important clothing in the three weeks even those that don't make normally a new clothing. So it's not they're not going to make him anyhow. No they don't we don't buy new clothing. It's a there's a associated with buying a new clothing and we're not trying to look for opportunities of which are problematic according to if there's a need that a person needs to get something new whether for shabas whether that's just not respectful the hat that you're walking around with then in such a case we allow a person to get something in the 3 weeks at least if it's before the nine days because the nine days is much more serious getting new clothing in the 3 weeks it's only a minute best would be to get it on credit. In other words, don't pay the full amount of money if the store keeper is okay with that. And the rest you'll pay after tish. So it won't only consider that you actually bought a new garment. This is all about clothing. There's no meaning about not getting new dishes, utensils, kale. It's only about new clothing. Unimportant clothing to begin with is not a problem. You let it buy and wear from I'm not talking about from onwards. undergarments, socks, new shoes, even you might even buy a talis cotton because a talis cotton is considered a mitzvah. So again, the 3 weeks not a big deal. Buying glasses, which is a necessary thing to have, is fine. If somebody had a mazub and he had a daughter in the 3 weeks, so when a person has a new boy, they make for the good news that they had a new boy. when a person has a girl. So upon not on the news but upon seeing the girl you make on the first first time you see your daughter. So if it's in the 3 weeks you don't push that's the opportunity not to make you'll make in the three weeks also someone who's having a ben in the three weeks part of the process is to make so we'll do that in the three weeks. So not to lose on not to miss out and this is only the to begin with was never a problem in the three weeks. If a person has a new boy has a child a boy then is not a problem to begin with. One of the other minhog associated with three weeks is the meaning of which is an old pim and one is not allowed to dance are two different types of dancing whether dancing in a circle dancing one person another person from armor there's no dancing there's no singing there's no sorry no playing instruments and no listening to instruments including instruments that are on a recording where you're not hearing the instrument live the in the magazine called the so there was a c just a small amount of about the three weeks so one of the edited that section heavily we don't listen to music in the three weeks so someone whose business his profession is to play instruments and he's playing for a nonju who was allowed to listen to music and he needs his parasa. So whatever he needs for his paras and it's for a nonjew this no problem for him to hear it he's allowed to play instruments until from until after the says no you shouldn't play even if it's for your as well you also shouldn't play instruments now when it comes to listening to what is the definition of an instrument so we know there's a bunch of instruments out there what if we have we said that a recording of an instrument is like an instrument why you're listening to the recording ing that is that became now the instrument. The instrument doesn't have to be an original instrument. It could be an electronic instrument. It could be audio instrument. So the recording is an instrument. So what if you're listening to a person singing to a singer without a music on a recording? Is a recording a tape a audio a video of a person singing? Is that called also a form of instrument? So some are very very lenient when it comes to listening. Since the original source is not an instrument and we're listening now just to a person singing, it's not a problem. But there are those that say that's also called musical instruments. So there's definitely room to be lenient with listening to a singer with has where there's no accompaniment of music. But this today's day and age they make professional professional um tapes with it's people singing but it sounds like instrument. They call it a capella. Now that's a very serious issue because even listening to a person singing on a on a recording is a big m but that's okay. In many places they had a meaning altogether they didn't sing in the entire 3 weeks. Some people in the nine days they just wouldn't sing. So to but certainly to to override the spirit the spirit of the law and have is something that sounds mish totally like music and can tell the difference that doesn't make sense to do that in the three weeks. A person is listening to very slow neg which inspires dance. It's a very slow The purpose is not the music. The purpose you listen to who usually has an old croaky voice. You're not really interested in in the pleasure of the music just purely to learn a beautiful inspirational gag. There is sometimes a bit of background music and the background music is really totally secondary. You hardly pay attention. Every so often there's another beat there. That's not really an issue. It's not a problem when a person is driving, especially driving for a long time, especially when driving at night. You're allowed to listen to music. You should listen to music. It's obligatory for you to listen to music. That music is purely in order that you should stay awake and not fall asleep on the wheel. The idea of not listening to music, I know for many people this is the most important three weeks. So, we'll talk about this a bit more. That idea of not listening to music applies to camps. It applies to schools and applies to homes. Especially our purpose of our camps is nor to train children to have shim. A part of the training of Shama is to train the children that there's a period of time that we sad because of the B mikdash. If there's a camp with these little kids, you need to calm them down. It's kids are not yet the age of the purpose of the music is just to put them to sleep or whatever it is. That's a whole different story. That the purpose of the music plays a totally different purpose over there. If somebody hired a music a music teacher to teach his children music and if they're learning music for parasa the children are learning music because that's how they're going to earn a living. So then they could do that even the three weeks until but the learning is just a pleasure not for not let it do that is a thing that even is a general which a lot of people don't know or never heard of or negligent that we're not supposed to be playing instruments from the time and there's a lot of what people are lenient about that it's a purely certainly the purposes of so that being encouraged putting out tapes but I'm just putting this in context of so when it comes once a year twice twice a year. Three weeks is a time to be careful and and and and and focus on the fact that it is after all a time of time of that. So we have to focus on dancing music is forbidden even in a mitzvah even if even that it's not a dispensation of being able to hear music. It makes other events audit. There's no and a lot of times you realize that the the sim itself is more than anything that's accomp that comes with it. The music does accomplish a lot but sometimes is a sim itself. When it comes in three weeks you focus on the itself and not on the external aspects of one other thing associated with three weeks is the idea of being careful from danger trips etc. right these days have a potential of causing injury or harm to a person there's there's a negative omen associated with these days and therefore we have to be careful of anything which is a anything which is a concern of danger during these three weeks one of the examples mentioned how it's actually found already in one should be careful not to walk alone during certain hours of the day from the four end of the fourth hour of the day until the end of the ninth hour of the day. That's a time where there's certain demons going around. I don't know what kind of demons we're talking about. I've never seen them unless they're two-legged demons. No idea. But we have to be particularly here during these three weeks. Peter is the name based on so a person has to be careful not to walk alone, not to walk exactly between where the sun is and the shade is. We're when we talk about walking It's such a place we're talking about where there's no people around. If there's people around then it's not really a problem. Trips during these days is not the proper time for trips. One should cut out minimize someone at least taking walks and trips and things like that. A person needs this for health. If it's done as inspiring and encouraging people for learning Torah, it's done in a school in a camp. That's part of part of what we're trying to inspire them to and we give them a prize. That's a whole different story. say for the it says there that people used to take walks from until except with a small break in the three weeks. The three weeks they were indeed really sad days they kept the meaning the three week with all the with all the actual details. So otherwise other than those three weeks between people used to take a plat in the place where the big market was people would enjoy the walk and enjoy the good summer but the three weeks that's when they wouldn't take these walks. So again we're not talking about something but was this understanding it's not the regular walk time taking was not didn't take place in the 3 weeks you allow to go and swim in a pool you allow to go in the ocean until you have to be careful anything which is a concernal danger and therefore a lot of people try to avoid going in rivers and oceans and and washing themselves there the time of the three weeks a person has to travel for lengthy trip The Reb encouraged many many times that they should try to make preparations before the three weeks begin for the trip even packing a couple of starting off uh just a form of preparation. So it'll be considered that the trip started before certainly well now the three weeks have already begun but certainly if a person is traveling for any for a mitzvah for anything like that for that's not a it's not a good idea to delay something like that that shouldn't be pushed off that should be done even in the 3 weeks. people that need medical treatment, medical procedures. If it's possible, if at all possible, it is appropriate that a complex medical procedure, we're not talking about plain simple things, but a complex medical pro procedure should be pushed off to similar to what it says in not to hit students in the three weeks. It's not a good idea all all year round, but it's 3 weeks because if it's a time of sak, it's not a good time to hit children or students. We'll get to that in a moment. So certainly we shouldn't be taking one shouldn't be taking complex med doing complex medical procedures and as we have the famous rule to anytime something is delayed it's a good sign. So if we're going to be delaying the medical procedure after the nine days that's at least if it can't be pushed off till it should be done before. If the doctor insists and says no no no it has to be done. Okay. So we should try to do it at least if possible before which this year is the day before. Certainly if we're told we should be which is a matter of life and the opposite of life and it has to be done right away then we shouldn't push it off at all. We got to what has to be done has to be done. Regular normal routine treatments which don't put a person into a state of danger. dental treatments all those kind of things are not a problem at all to do in the nine days three weeks etc. When we have when we want to discipline our children our students I just mentioned that person say try to rebuke them calmly in a relaxed way no not using force which is like we said not a good idea all year round but certainly not in the three weeks. Moving on to the next topic. Buying houses, moving apartments, renovating. Some have not to buy a house in the three weeks because it's just not a good omen. It's not something then if you talk according to buy a house to live in the 3 weeks, but it's just not the best time cuz you're looking for a positive sim when we buy a house. So we wouldn't want to do that under the three weeks especially if somebody is in a situation where they want to if they don't buy the house they might not find a house someone else will get the house before them sure they should buy the house now and they could do it even in the nine days certainly if the registration the house the the signing of the the the house is only registering your name only after but for sure there's no problem to begin with there isn't meaning not to move into this that's what we're talking about buying buy a house moving into a new house is a meaning not to move into a new house in the 3 weeks even if we don't say so it's best to push it off after 3 weeks if possible should be push but again this is not how a person's allowed to expand and their property and and do renovations expand their property these in the three weeks and make that bigger until it is some people do have a main they don't build in the three weeks because they look at it again as not a positive omen if somebody began building before the three weeks you continue and there's no allowed to it's a custom which is not brought in in some people have such a light renovations for sure is not a problem painting it says that it's not appropriate for a person to paint their house throughout the three weeks if however a person already made up has a construct is going to be painting their This is coming pay and he already made up a price saying already started. Not letting him finish is not a problem. Same with a person already has a house. House has already been he already moved into the house. He already painted the house but they want to make a celebration. Not the right time to do a looking for a good time a good a time not and not during the three weeks. There's a number of that the Reb instructions that the Reba publicized specifically for the three weeks and I want to share them with you and the Reb asked for this to be publicized at large. First of all, in the days of the three weeks, we should increase in mishb and will be redeemed with we should increase now. Mishb means learning particularly learning the three weeks which we're doing that right now and we should also increase in sodaka and giving extra sodak. So during the three weeks we feel this need to push it bothers the person I got to do something because something extra more than anyone will do extra extra in the three weeks itself excuse me every period in the three weeks we move to the next period which makes it which is a more severe period we add even more so there's a three weeks until we add even more from we add even more the week of even more of But like I mentioned this year, the week of isb itself comes to which this year is going to be in a Friday. We should increase especially in and fill in the asks we should give the amount of money that it cost us to have two meals. Two meals is the minimum of a normal person eats a day. Would be best if we increase and give the amount for three meals because over here people eat normally three meals a day. And we should make the decision about this before the three weeks begin. We should already decide that when it comes we're going to give money the amount of food that the amount that it cost us to have three meals a day. If a person didn't manage to make this decision before the 3 weeks it's already now the three weeks. So make the as soon as possible the earlier the better and in moment every moment early you do that just itself because we have even the itself by Hashem is considered as if we already did it. So once we decided we already have that extra mitzvah and whoever didn't do it any of these any of these instructions if you didn't do it in the right time so make it up afterwards. Another thing about the three weeks we should put an extra effort in all the having a house full of extra effort that often the spoke about is that we should try to get rid of the reason of the cause which brought about gullus. came about because of people hated each other for no good reason. We should increase in the opposite of not only loving one another but feeling like one in a way of even if there's really absolutely no reason to love the person. So if we get rid of the cause the effect we don't we no longer have the effect. If we is no longer sin is then we have we as part of this we should make sure that we do within all the things the more we do the is better our today is has a new focus it we used to say that is to get rid of the cause of gullis gul came about cause of hatred so we're going to get rid of the hatred and therefore have is now the cause of gul is already gone we had so much obvious now we're standing on the threshold of gulah the spoke I believe was now focus on the more as a taste of gula we're already entering into gula getting used to the idea of gula start to have a taste of of the way we'll feel in the time of gul the time of good there won't be any k of attack no jealousy no competition we'll feel a tremendous act and a beyond any division they won't be felt noticeable any division between one and another. We're already having a taste of that. Now, that's what should be our focus on. And of course, when we talk about the three weeks is the idea that during the three weeks, we should learn about the Bikdash which is something relevant to men and it's also relevant to women and relevant to children. when he was told how the third mish will look like he said why am I teaching people when they're going into golas why am I teaching them all about their own gulas why am I teaching them what the third will be like so hashem said because my children are in golus they we my the building of my house will be put aside teach them about the m let them learn about it when they learn about it as if they're actually building it we want to bring about the building b we should actually start learning about it and now that we're in the threshold of ga also the learning is in a total different way. It's not as if we're learning because we feel sad. We have such a strong feeling of a we want to fix up the the the shortcoming that which is missing. So we learn to make up for that. No, we are learning because not only to get to fix up the problem, but now because we have such a strong desire a such a yearning to the advantage of the third even if there would still be the second and there wouldn't be a we we would say yeah but we want to have something even more than the second we want to have the third. So now we're learning not because of the but because we want to have the mile of the third and of course nowadays when we learnd it's also not in a way for the future will come it's going to be relevant the very next moment. So we learn in such a way that with a knowledge and understanding is with absolute certainty that this is going to be relevant immediately in the three weeks once made of and he said that make in the three weeks I was worked very hard to find for myself a an exc a dispensation why it's okay for me And I found the best that I found that says that people need to play music for their Allah play music in the three weeks. No my says to so he found since he really wanted before the nine days come in to give that boost of and tell us to encourage us how we should add in our to bring. So therefore he found a generally the ask we should find any opportunity we can make a fab in a way that it's find the do when it's connected with something else turn into I said I will focus a bit in the of the nine days but there's one of the nine days which is relevant before the nine days in the nine days we don't wear freshly laundered clothing except for undergarments which a general custom is that people are lenient about that. There's not not everybody agrees with that. But the general custom is that people are lenient with undergarments, socks and things like that. If so, you don't put on any freshly laundered garments in the nine days. If however you wore it once before the nine days, then you're not going to wear it in the nine days because the sim that a person has is when they wear only the first time. So therefore, the nine days are coming up and we're planning as if we're going to be in G. So what states are people find themselves in a hot place? It's extremely hot, a lot of sweat. They need to change their shorts. What do they do when they can't put on freshly loaded clothing? So you wear the same shirt for nine days. So the pis say that before the nine days put on a bunch of garments before for a short while. So now it's considered non fleshly laundered clothing. This applies not only to adults, applies to children, women and children too. Once a person, a child reaches the age that they know what it means to mourn your unfortunately a lot of adults don't know that either. Pet is already the age of not just making but it's the older age of where a person could appreciate the idea of sadness and mourning then they should be taught the idea that we don't refresh any longer clothing and they could prepare for these clothing before the nine days which is on of a Friday. So one should prepare these clothing by putting them on. Ideally we should a lot of can say you should have put on a bunch of clothing one on top of each other because the idea is to feel like you actually were you put 10 shirts one on top of each other you don't really it doesn't lose its new newness freshly laundered kind of feeling. If for some reason if you did it that way and it's it it just loses its freshness then it's okay. How much time do you wear it? you wear a significant amount of time, then it no longer has that feeling of something new. Another way of of defining that is if a normal a normal person would mind if someone else puts it on for that amount of time. Person puts it on for a second most people. I'll wear it now. But if a person was wearing it for a while, hard to give a number, it's less than an hour. Doesn't say price to give a number. I would say it's probably more like 20 minutes, half an hour depending on the garment and depending on the person. If a person put on a garment right before the nine days and it came and he only wore it for a second, he doesn't have to take it off. But if a person put on in the nine days a newly freshly laundered garment, you don't have to remove it. Once you put it on, he put it on, he can keep it on. If a person didn't prepare before the nine days their clothing. So some are lean. It's not the ideal thing but some are lean if you're stuck to put it on the ground. The ground does not mean on the floor. Put it on the real ground earthly floor proper ground. Then it's considered if it's no longer fresh but that's the second choice. Ideally want to put it on before the nine days. Another it that people give for someone that didn't manage to change their clothing before the nine days is to give it to a have the lot where almost all the that we keep the entire nine days a lot of the is only the week of which this year the week of is itself so there's no such thing as nine days for them this year because they don't have the week of tish which is only itself if you give it to that he should wear okay so it's now the worshkazi in the nine days now for the Ashkanazi go wear it also talking about the nine days the says that when the month of comes in we decrease in but is limited we don't decrease in everything there certainly that imply even in the month of is something that has to be at all times even in the month of we have the mitzvah of serving hashem with happiness minimizing that certain things it says certain things we're supposed to act in a nons because of this doesn't apply across the board isn't a place of happiness where Hashem is this happiness. So if we want to make a place for Hashem then we need to have happiness because otherwise it can't be a place for hem is always in the place of happiness. And that's why even at the time that it says we decrease in we always still have to have a limit a limit a certain a measure because since we always have to make a dwelling place for hashem at every single moment the entire goal of a person in this world is to make a this world and a person's mission in life we were only created to serve hashem so at every single moment we have to be happy because that's how make a dwell place for hashem And even though we say that at sometimes we have to act the opposite of which is of that to remove the idea because we were in exile. So that's not how we make to Hashem. Don't forget we're not going to make a dwelling place for Hashem through the morning. That's to prepare for the apartment. We're making a dwelling place for Hashem. The dwelling place for Hashem to preparation stuff. We need to do other things too. the actual dwelling place happens through and that's why was so not so particular not so they didn't go out of their way in doing because the the minimizing happiness is a secondary thing in ourem and that's why like we said it's limited that we always have to have number one even in a time when we decrease we still have to have and two the idea of not having is not the focus that's not the so there are those that are very very and they get very why we're demanding people to have for some reason even before the month of of starts already saying well it's already almost the month of we already had so you still have time it could be 25 36 hours till the month of and even when it comes the month of it's also only what does mean when we contrast it with the when we contrast it with the that will be when comes So compared to that the month of has less but of course we have there's a which is not the but mentioned it several times that mentioned primarily in the name of the instead of interpreting the literal meaning we minimize our we minimize and cut down on all the negative things. You know how you'll cut on all the negative things through doing when we focus on doing that will cut on all the negative things and it's actually mentioned in in conjunction with meaning the not having is the same idea of having extra because the purpose of of minimizing the month of is in order to transform the darkness into light transform the bitterness into sweetness. So it's ultimately the same purpose as we increase. Now obviously we're not talking about in a way that's not permissible. We're talking about a way that allows us to have we can have through makes our gladdens our heart is make us have makes to the poor person literal making during the nine days that's perfectly permissible making hearing every single place every single day we make a down and that makesove so that's just introduction the spirit of the nine days. The week of is when starts selling things that are from the to the basic things that forbidden the week of some things are forbidden in the week of only and our meaning is a lot of the things that are problematic in the week of tishb already start from the beginning of the month which is why like I said you'll find people that don't know of special manhag for the nine days because they don't follow and they keep only these menhagim or these in the it only mentions the week of and as mentioned a number of times tonight already that during this year this year we don't have the week of is the week of when I say the nine days what does the nine days mean the nine days mean from sunset the until the we actually continue start from sunset and we continue the nine days until the 10th of until midday one of the things that is mentioned in this case it actually says from the beginning of not the week of from the beginning of the month of has a court case a legal issue with he should try to avoid this legal issue in the month of he should try to wait until the month of it's not a good time to be involved in a legal issue with dispute with a guy because it's not a good masle it's unhealthy masle the month of is mas has a healthy masle and the month of Today a Muslim has a no good Muslim. So keep away from interacting with a non-Jew cuz he might win the court case. If you can't push it off to at least push it off to one of the things in the month of we do different than other months is that we don't do before because it's a time of a time of warning is considered receiving the we only receive a state of happiness. So we don't do the the we leave the kishana until is an appropriate time to do kishana. That's when it says that mashia was born on and because it's called mashia's name is and and he was born in the month of on the day of and to recognize the idea of the birth of mashia. So wait without until then there's another explanation because the the is considered the it's considered the defect of the moon compared to the moon and that's considered the defect and only after the when it's after do we have the idea of we'll mention a few about the nine days but primarily that will be in the next mention something that we don't We cut out on business. We don't see nowadays people should follow this because today most business that we do is consider it's just considered paras. It's not just business for luxury. And because everything is considered today see we don't have this idea of cutting out of business in the nine days. Otherwise, when we're talking about buying, one should avoid buying silver dishes, nice expensive furniture, things like that, spoons, plates, things they need for the house is not a problem. But clay, precious, exciting things, including even a car or or a washing machine or a dry, which you don't need. If it's a car for and it's not a problem because if that has to do with the idea that we cut out of business with nowadays and we don't cut out of business but otherwise you shouldn't buy these or things except for regular stuff things that are not so urgent could wait until you go to the store and find out the price it's not a problem. So if a person bought new furniture by the way and this idea is even even if we don't say it it's still part of the if you bought new furniture before the nine days and the furniture arrived in the nine days. So try not to bring them to your house at least try not to use it until after you seat above the 10th above when it comes to to clothing. So we mentioned about a minute in the three weeks but that was purely a minute. When it comes to the nine days it's a much more serious issue of buying or doing clothing in this case even not important clothing is included in it. New shoes shouldn't be bought in the nine days. Even if there's a sale, even if there's a loss, even if you're planning to leave it and not put it on until after tishb it, it it it shouldn't be bought in the nine days is okay. NF is done for a mitzvah, a talis and a talis cotton even though it's done only for the mitzvah, but they are considered garments and therefore you're not supposed to buy a tal. So earlier I mentioned earlier in the year that buying in the three weeks it's okay to buy a new talis a new talis but that's in the three weeks it's not considered a garment it's very not in the context of the three weeks it's not so serious when it comes to the nine days is a thing that we don't buy new garments fill in is okay is not considered a garment in that context but a talis and tal cotton should not be bought in the nine days tishbuff shoes if a person doesn't have any other tishbuff shoes they only have regular leather shoes and they need to wear tish sneakers listen to buy them for the very first time in the nine days on because they don't have anything else. That's fine. I'm talking only about buying. We're not talking about sending gifts. Sending gifts. You send a gift to someone in the nine days. The problem of sending gifts is only on itself. There's a few details here about this of buying stuff in the nine days. First of all, you want to order furniture, that's fine. ordering furniture and the delivery is only going to come after tishb that's not really considered a sim he didn't really do any purchasing that's not really a problem secondly glasses I mentioned all kind of clothing glasses like an in between thing in the 3 weeks you said it's okay to buy glasses but in the nine days you should avoid buying glasses unless you really need glasses so it depends the glasses you know there's different kind of glasses there's glasses that you need glasses that looks beautiful could you fix your glasses is there a new frame frame is new lenses. So, this is what the type of thing that we should really try to avoid doing in the nine days. For kids, there's room to be lean into buying little kids clothing until they turn six, at least if it's not in the week of when we mention that if it's a special sale, then even so, you shouldn't be buying clothing in the nine days. If there's an exceptional unusual crazy sale and the sale finishes before the nine days are over and you would buy this garment even if there wouldn't be a sale and it's a really unusual sale and you're not going to be wearing the garment till after then there's room to be lenient until the week of tishb because of this absolute ridiculous sale but again don't wear the garment until after don't even wear it on shabas certainly if you won't be able to find this garment ever again of course you could be lenient best would be that you to pay for the garment before the and don't use it don't use it until after people that are getting married after really they should wait and not buy clothing until after tishb sometimes if a person is going to wait until after maybe it won't come a time for the again that's a case it could be lenant a kid that turned three and you need to buy him a new pair of tal that's a whole different story you buy him yamaka Of course, ideally you should get him to wear tits already before and you won't have any other problem. They said with someone who's talis ripped, you can't borrow a talis from someone else. There's no one to borrow a talis or he's extremely hyper sensitive and he can't wear someone else's talis. That case is an exception to the rule. He's allowed to buy a brand of talis. Another about the nine days is the idea of says In the beginning of the month of we minimize building something associated with happiness what's considered a associated with fancy stuff drawings paintings engraving things we take that to being practically that's what it says in the what does it mean any building that you don't really need for living you're doing it only what we call just for extra for luxury so a person has a house. He could live there. He just wants to make the sides bigger, wants to make it bigger, higher, taller. That's a problem. Person has a small house and he he wants to make it bigger and now he started demolishing it. Now you can't live there and he's stuck and it was raining. Yeah. Okay, that's a different story. Then he's allowed to build even after we usually wait after Z of but it's much more monts will get ruined. That's again that's a different story. But here we're talking about the idea where a person doesn't really need a bill. It's just for luxury. Painting is forbidden from wallpaper on the walls should not be done on on who does that these days for beauty should not be done from hanging a picture. Hang a picture not called building. Some people have a meaning they don't even wash the floor in the nine days. I'm not sure if it applies to house which is full of children. Certainly if it's dirty is no problem but polishing a floor that's already a that's extra pleasure there's really no need for it that's similar to what it says se fancy stuff fancy stuff we don't do in the nine days so polishing the floor shouldn't be done the same washing a car unless the car is extremely dirty washing a car is already considered a tanuk an extra pleasure and that should not be done in the nine days buying a new carpet No, we shouldn't buy or put down a new carpet in the nine days. When we talk about not building in the nine days, that means even flew a But if a person hired a before the and the go is a contractor and he's already on the job. So now the is working for himself. The difference between a contractor and a day worker is a contractor gets paid a set amount. You don't pay him per hour. When you pay him per hour, that means he's working for me. When you pay him for the job, now he's working for himself. So once you hire him before and he's a contractor then he's allowed to continue working even on the same thing if the guy's painting but when it comes to painting the price can say if you can go and and appease him giving something small give you a few dollars just wait person that will have a this is the which is something which is beauty it's not building so there's building extra something which is not necess which is a smaller problem of painting which is considered a luxury over there we say it's better to give the go wait until after the person's in building so he's allowed to build or paint even a go's house these days allowed to be built is allowed to be painted a micro fence which is for sak reasons to protect from danger is allowed to be done even on tishb's wall is going to fall down even if it's not a sak but it might lose money and it might have sim attached to still build it. You're not doing it for for simp beauty, flowers, all those things should not be planted in the nine days. If you already planted, you want to water it, that's perfectly fine. You're allowed to buy flowers in in the nine days chabas. A person knows that every single chabas he wants to buy flowers, that's perfectly fine. We spoke earlier about making in the nine days and we said getting engaged is perfectly fine in the three weeks and in the nine days and making but a suda was a problem. Getting engaged is something better at all times you should encourage people getting engaged. So if we all make a suda even if it's on shabas you do a small thing. Now making a a sudas a party where friends are getting together is a problem in the nine days. A lot of people don't know about this. It's a problem to make a a sudas, a get together, a party for friends, a birthday party which doesn't involve a suda. It's just a it's an event. You know, there's some nash a potato chips not a suda. That's okay. Especially if little kids, even friends getting together, but it's not a full proper suda. That's not a problem in the nine days. It says inkim that if a person a miracle happened to a person he should make sure the day that a miracle happened to them every single year he should get together with friends. Think of first of all himself between him and Hashem and thank but get together with friends make a suda talk about the nest and show happiness. So what happens if this happened to someone he had a nest happened to him in the past and it happened in the nine days. So his sitting alone and thanking that should be done that day. another thing we spoke earlier about not making a special in the three weeks we said because it's not a good omen to do in the three weeks but that was only a minute when it comes to it's actually even if you're not going to be serving me and wine this is part of the making a special event for the consecration of the home a suda for the consecration of home that's a problem in the nine days also there's many that we have to talk about about washing clothing about freshly laundered clothing is associated we're going to talk about the shabas associated with eating meat drinking wine cutting nails taking showers that they plan to do all these in in the followup we talk about we'll talk about sewing clothing also but at this stage I do want to mention is basically about to be finished about the idea of in the nine days asked that we should publicize all over the meaning of making in the nine days and Since is a continuation to we should continue until including including making and by the way this year the three chapters they include learning of in the nine days. The reason for is we should add to a permissible way to do when we do we negate things that are the opposite of when we make a we make a on the golus we make not that we try to get rid of golus no we want to finish golas finish golus means we take golus and turn to gula by putting the alf into ga and it becomes gola and this should be done in with many people there which have men women obviously not together with children. We get together we hear the person see him and then a suda is made and it's a beautiful thing of and we try to connect every one of these human with the idea of shabas you give spiritual say nice word to someone after so it's good by the time before the middle of people should put money and if you can make a withan this is not about eating meat and wine we'll talk to it's about the idea that it's okay to eat meat and wine on certain occasions could include too under certain conditions. But the idea of him making is just to increase in the would make in the nine days even though he didn't eat meat or drink wine. So and if a person can't really hear directly being in the place where the is made you can hear a seim over the radio over the phone you can hear through other technology methods and that's also considered being part of the sin. So it's important I'm just mentioning this before we start the nine days just to encourage the idea of making those hearing and putting it as part of your program and that all these nine days should be transformed that's nine days the week of the three weeks should all be transformed we should see the true that the m of the narrowness is really part of the of the broadness of taken