The Fork in the Road: Dedicating a Life to Klei Kodesh & Learning Before Starting Work - R Motti N

it's always overwhelming to come back to where you spent so many years it's a humbling experience to be here and I appreciate you affording me the opportunity to share [Music] some I'm sure like many of you I myself had the question of why I'm here to give Insight perspective on a question which is the major questions that people consider at this stage of life in a which is replete with there's definitely no shortage of perspective of advice but I take solace in the fact that an outsider always has a unique perspective yro was able to introduce innovate in a way that all the wasn't able to see sometimes when you're immersed in a place it's good to hear a perspective from a person that's outside especially a topic like this discussing the future important decisions that you'll be making in terms of the course of your life often we don't appreciate the Privileges we don't appreciate the most important the most beautiful privileges we have until we no longer have them so I hope that by adding a little bit of my perspective my experiences and those experiences that I encounter on a daily basis perhaps there will be some value added asked me to speak about the beauty of a life in the beauty of a life as of cook put it of being an and to speak about that even those that aren't going to enteres the importance of setting a year or two to take a year off perhaps before entering the workforce to be totally immersed in and to be honest with you at first I was a bit puzzled I was a bit stumped these seemed like two totally separate topics one's addressed in people that are considering a life ofes and one's discussing people that are going to go out to the workforce and to try to discuss the advantages of taking years off to learn so it was a little bit of a puzzle to me how to conquer both of these topics but as I reflected I realized that my confusion comes from a basic mistake in perspective it's a mistake that we all to often make that our society makes it's a flaw that leads and as I'll mention as I'll discuss and describe do I believe tragic mistakes mistakes that greatly impact the lives our lives and the lives of our families be session and that is this notion that there are those that enter and there are those that don't this was an Insight that really hit the core by a beautifully stunning observation that rinkus made sometimes you see something that's so absolutely simple but it shakes you to the core a life altering idea and if pink has commented on the notion that we refer to as B we're all trained since a very young age that one of the greatest a a person could commit is say is the reason for the of the the says brings to says is of the greatest that could be guilty and rep his wonders isn't it a bit strange that we refer to this as B if I were to ask you to describe B I think most of us would say that we're wasting our time we're being we're not being we're wasting our time the to is just fine it's time that we were given as a from the that we're wasting but says is saying no this is B and B is not the same as B man B man is an egregious as well the length of the G is not because we waste time it's because we're and what means it means that there's a of that is going to be B that there's a of that's prescribed to every single Jewish Nish and his task his his tet in this world is to develop that of to and I'm using the term toah liberally to [Applause] in his specific way that's his that's his T and when that TK is not realized say you're not merely being you're being the there's a of the that's B that's not being developed that's not being brought to fruition there's an area of that has to be developed and the put you here to develop it to expose it to bring its light to the world and you're being says [Applause] the because that we ought to bring out still being hidden is still covered we each have we each have it was what the go tells us was given to us as we were in uo and tell us we were Tau says the it doesn't mean means to delay there's a t there's a of that you were assigned to that the assigned specifically to your to develop that's your that's your that's your and your your purpose in this world is to develop that area of We're All In we're all in there are those that will make a parosa from that as well there are those that will have a greater challenge trying to integrate that together with the profession but all too often the decisions we make in life are centered around the secondary rather than the primary centered around those areas of life which are meant to support and facilitate our rather than trying to probe deeper into personality and try to understand what is my what is my what is my what's and then try to figure out what the best way to make a parosa all too often we go the opposite route I look at my personality I look at my situation my circumstances and I try to figure out what is the best way for me to make a parosa and then after everything has been put into place now I try to squeeze tal into it then I give some attention to then I try to give some attention and try to fit it in imagine if we were to begin our lives adul and first sit down and think what do I have to offer what is my what's my and then try to fit in everything else how am I going to best accomplish that how different our lives would look but all too often RAB say the sequence is flipped and it's a tragic mistake it's a tragic mistake because all too often what I see almost on a weekly basis there people who have begun to ask this question much later in life now that my career is somewhat established now that my life is somewhat on a trajectory but at that point it's so hard to Pivot it's so hard to change my career is already established my lifestyle is the way it is I chose where I'm going to live I chose what my schedule was going to be and now I have to squeeze everything in imagine if all those decisions revolved around the first question what's my what's my but even more tragic is not when the question is asked late in life but when the question is not asked at all when an entire life is lived a person never faced himself and asked this question what's my M and this doesn't happen because people are bad it doesn't happen because people are misguided sometimes I remember sitting here in Yeshiva thinking looking at different individuals people that know better and try to understand how do they live a life that's so distant from the values that we believe not being even just not focusing on what we know is important what we know is valuable an overemphasis on the physicalities and the luxuries of life and you look at them oh they're misguided they never had the time to appreciate what life's truly about but say it's not the case this tragic mistake happens not because people don't know better the of the he points out something which is absolutely phenomenal it's a well-known but mostly for what I believe to be the most insignificant aspects I'm sure all of you have seen where he prophetically describes the downfall of European jewelry in that essay grapples and tackles a very important question he's struggling with the Vicious Cycle that is Jewish history why does Jewish history continue to repeat itself again and again and again the same cycle we were thrown into gullis into a foreign country we picked ourselves up we climbed the ladder of society we built yes and and then ultimately we begin to assimilate and the sh needs to throw us to another country and we start this cycle over and over again if mayor Sim wonders how do we break this cycle it happened in ashkenaz it happened in prance it happened in Spain it happened in Europe the same cycle over and over again what's going on over here why are we not learning from our mistakes where do we keep getting caught says I'll tell you the secret a human being was created with a drive he's created with the drive to accomplish to make a difference to innovate to add value it's an unquenchable thirst that we have to matter to feel that we are accomplishing this is the most basic human desire we're willing to give everything up for this it says of Mayor Sim when we're thrown into a new country CLA we're able to direct and funnel all of that energy that energy to bees the energy to build the energy to create we're able to direct it to [Applause] CL most of our grandparents our great grandparents came over from Europe and they had to buildas and and mik they were building and building and building and every person mattered and every Yesa was necessary every person had a tkit every person had a roll every person had an AES whether he was a rebi a ra an accountant it didn't matter there was for me and then we develop further and further and all of the sudden the needs are less and fewer there's no need for me there's no room to innovate what am I bringing to the table where am I going to satiate this thirst that I have this hunger to make a difference to matter and clausel has found all sorts of avenues whether it be communism or socialism says mayor but perhaps an our door the way we indulge in luxuries and physical life FS that need for us gives us that sees so you have a person and I see this often RAB who has enough money to support support himself and his children and grandchildren and he works with the same diligence the same passion and he's waking up early and he's traveling and in his mind it might be for the money and to many of us it might be for the money but it's not the money it's because that's where he feels he's adding value that's what's giving him and when his Tom comes it's that hour he strolls into a and he's entirely passive like every other person in the room and he's certainly not quenching that thirst with his AEM he does it as a sense of obligation but it's not because he has the wrong values it's not because he's Mis guided it's not because he's bad it's because he's a human being and where he gets that for life that ability to make a difference to be to add value that's where all his K are going to go this is where monam takes a terrible hit because if what's providing us with what's providing Us withes in life is a certain movement in the time of may may but in our times it's growth professionally or perhaps a massing more wealth it's an unsatiable thirst it's a NeverEnding cycle this what when said a person who loves money will never have enough because what gives him the in life the that which triggers his life The Passion of his life has become and say if a person redirect that passion that that he's receiving that from his if he looks at his life and asks what's my not what am I engaging in because out of a sense of obligation I know I have to be but what's my purpose created me for a reason he gave me a he gave me a of there's an aspect of that is dependent on my existence and My Success so that could drive a person that for that a person will sacrifice a tremendous [Applause] amount it's hard it's difficult it's take sacrifice whether you're talking about going into there are tremendous sacrifices there and we're talking about becoming a professional but still having your firm understanding of youres there's also tremendous sacrifice perhaps more sacrifice but we're human beings we love to sacrifice as long as we feel that we're needed that we matter we're willing to sacrifice everything for what is our purpose I had a great of being very close to one of the I remember once when I was there Wasing with his rebit and it's rebit isus had a large group of Seminary girls there we're talking about a woman who is so her husband could sit and learn a person who didn't leave Yesa during the week for from the moment after CH he came home for shab that's the level of my neish we're talking about and she asked the Seminary girls who here is willing to be Moes to be able to marry someone who's going to be a and every single girl raised her hand and she said I don't recommend it for any of you cuz those of you that view it as a sacrifice and rather than a privilege you live your entire lives bitter when it's my TK when it's my purpose when this is my Mees when this is my it's not a sacrifice it's why I'm here here it's my purpose in life it's my T so I was very intrigued as I look around the world and I see that there are those that remain in touch with their their no matter where life is taking them whether they're in or whether they're professionals they're able to be anchored to their their engagement in the Tiber it doesn't become something out of obligation but it's something that they feel a sense of purpose it's why they're living it's what makes them take there are others as we mentioned that need to look elsewhere for other avenues to satiate that the in that need what's the difference why are some people able to do it and others unable and I believe the answer is simple so simple I think it's meish in the see we know that the K is had a very difficult time in the midbar CL in the midb was a downhill spiritual spiral the the the Mir but what began the whole spiral what triggered everything where did it all begin they were at what was the trigger that allowed for CLA to continue to have these spiritual tell us why is right after the very first ponos the trigger for everything that occurred after the words was vu they ran from the base sometimes we view children running out of school we're talking about the they just received it doesn't seem that there was any reason for them to stick around they were and where were they running they were one running to to put those mitzah into practice what was so egregious what was so Terri [Applause] it when is aren't saying that was a punishment was a and they're being punished they teaching us dark and dark the way that tah is learned is that we have we have moments we have periods in our life of har we have periods of our life where we're enveloped entirely in spiritual experience and those moments were in utero so to speak with kazal speak about the baby learning in utero because this is K [Applause] dark a person has to have an incubator he has to have a period of time where he's entirely engrossed entirely enveloped in Kad and then he's able to implement yov before going out into love a Bas love and he goes to shame there has to be these moments of incubation these moments where you're entirely immersed and then you receive all your nutrients everything you need then you're able to put them into practice when a woman the doctor's nervous that the baby's not going to stay in too long enough so you go on bed rest because we need the baby to be there need it to develop fully soal telling us is not a punishment but CL is needed to develop further they were in Udo they were at they were immersed in [Applause] the and they left too early they were born premature that led to the the and the Mir this is why every action of Li say is connected to says in I'm supposed to learn just like why because the CI is the generator which Fu fuels my entire life of my entire life ofes is fueled by that moment that experience in utero where I became developed and able to put it into practice if a person doesn't learn it's BAS because it means that you weren't in the womb for long enough when it's clear those that are able to remain focused on their and and the reason why there Bal and put me in this world are those that had the experience of being entirely immersed and the longer you're immersed the more developed you are every year is much more than a year of learning it's a year of development which will generate and fuel my entire life going forward so yes throughout my life I'm not necessarily waking up thinking about a rajb thinking about Ram but if I had that experience if there were years where I was entirely I was in in that I'm always able to revert back to connect back I know what it is I spent the time trying to figure out what my is what my mission in life is what my purpose what my tet is and that remains a guiding force in my life so I encourage all of you to first and foremost contemplate not only your and neish in terms of what should be your source of parosa but first and foremost most understand yourselves in a deep way trying to understand what it is that the put me here for what's my what's my you may find out that yes maybe I do have the talents that it takes to be a to enjoy that beautiful life of being able to up lift or perhaps your is best accessed in a different way but either way appreciate the time of incubation all too often we're running to the next stage of Life only to get there and realize what did I give UPA there's no one that described this greater to me than the Great Rabbi Dr Abraham J tski if there's a person who lived his life with a mission of for was him they found in one of his journals all chuva is personal we all have our individual shortcomings and we each have our regrets writing about regret andum Kipper has brought to mind one significant regret after by mitv I studied in yes in Chicago for several years in 1946 my uncle Thea Survivor came to the United States and opened the small yiva in Manhattan which I attended for one year I have pleasant memories of that year there are only 10 B in the Yesa myus and I had a 6 a.m. she following which we went to the Mikvah and then we D the re had breakfast together with the and his talks were very inspiring we learned until lunch and had a 30 minute break and continued the next year after we learned until 11: everything was done on a small scale what was so wonderful that we had the rebba all to ourselves we didn't have to share him with thousands of the uniqueness of that year was that I was enveloped in an atmosphere of kadha 247 even when we left Yeshiva there was no major Interruption of kadus so what is my regret Dr Abraham J tski revolutionized the way we deal with addiction saved countless lives what is my regret that I left that idelic existence I went to another Yesa to prepare for SM but it was not the same I was like an unborn child in the mother's womb whose existence is idilic but must emerge to deal with the real world yes I may have accomplishments and contributions in yish many people have told me that my books have brought them back to T and countless people whom I treated for addiction have said that they owe their lives to me I am grateful that I have been fortunate in that way but I long for my idilic existence which I will never be so fortunate to experience again but I will you have over here is an idealic existence let's not be take advantage as much as possible to be in a of to be enveloped with all the places that we're running and rushing to certainly be more successful having been in uteral till completion as Hashem with that time will be able to identify our uni that would remain a Guiding Light for all of us throughout our lives bringing to the all of some your name my my grandfather is ruane Davis oh very ni okay nice to meet you very oh sorry you recording no