The Essence Of Shavuos talk part 1 - Freedom from hard work - Rabbi Yossi Paltiel - 5786

was listening to two of his friends talking. One Fred said, "If I was I would be so nice to people that they would all be because it would be just so easy." And the other one said, "If I be so mean, they'd be so afraid of getting punished. They'd all be and said, "If I would do exactly what the is doing, you can't divorce him. Yeah. Okay, girls. It says in says in that when y left m they counted the days. When y left m they counted the days. They counted the days till they got the TA. Once they got the TA, they complained that there too many mitzvah, you know, too many mitzvah. Too many mitzvah. It says in in Kazal that when Yidden left Harina, they were very happy. Why? Oh, only 613, not more. You stick a couple more days, we'll have 700 mitzvah. I mean, you girls are safe for a mitzvah, right? So, yesterday you learned three mitzvah, correct? Or four mitzvah? one >> and kiss two different days. >> Oh, you guys. You guys, I had to learn three. We didn't even learn four mitzvah. They stretched out the whole I hear I mean the stretched it out. I don't want to start with the Yeah. But one of the mitzvah, it's a funny mitzvah. It's a very very weird mitzvah. You send away the mother bed. We want to take the chicks. It's the are so technical you have no idea. Um we have 63 mitzvah. 63 mitzvah. Hashem is a nice guy. He wanted to give us many. He wanted to make us very pure. So he gave us many mitzvah. We have 630 mitzvah with the seven mitzvah that we have 620 mitzvah. I'm sure you know that that's and the whole thing I mean you know right um and they counted the days they counted the days until they will get the they would count the days they will get the TA it's like waiting to become a slave I mean that's really what it was they were waiting to become enslaved because uh Yiddish's a burden you know you need proof find out what happens to a person who wants to go through gear. I don't know if you're familiar with this. I mean either either you yourself are getting sadic or your parents are getting sadic or you know people of when a person wants to go through gear we deliberately become obnoxious. We we we we give him a hard time. We delay and we delay and we delay and we don't keep our promises. We don't People get very upset. I don't understand. You told me yeah. Why are you telling me no? Because gators is supposed to be hard. It's designed not to happen. You know in you know in an ideal world if wanted you to be a yid he would have made you one you know. So if a person wants to become a yid the the real justification according to not according to is that they have aid in from before it says in the in the but it says in name that a becomes a is not called it's called because if a person becomes Jewish that he was a Jew before he was Jewish then he had a goof so he goes to the mikvah he's mitzvah and all the other things. So he becomes a yid in his goof as well. So when a person wants to go through gear, they give him a hard time. And the giving him a hard time is a lot of parts. Number one, they just they just play around with him. They get on his nerves. They just make it hard. They make it difficult. So people quit. You don't want to help me be Jewish? I won't be Jewish. Um they should make it hard. Number two, they describe to you how hard a guy wants to become a you describe to him all of the things that you know before if you drove your car in nothing happened now before nothing happened said you you put the fear of God into him you know and then the guy said you know what that's not worth it right does anybody know who heard this and said you know what I don't want to be a Jew in As I would ask you your name, but I don't want to embarrass you. That's good. You're I'm going to go and die. Why? What does Rashi say? If I'm going to be a I make one mistake, I die. I don't want it. That the is going to kill me. It's a says, "Sell me. You can have it with both hands." Why? I don't want to die. You get close to the you get into trouble. I don't want it. Why would I want I'd be so close to the Why would I want it? You tell. And then of course you tell them about anti-semitism that Jewish people historically have suffered so much. You know and you know the way the works that when Jews are doing well materially we're not gimm that in the times of they did not take gimm at all which is why when married princesses from other kingdoms it's described as a maring and others was them was aid but in the times of they didn't want because it was hard to know whether it's sincere or I know in South America where where they where they there's no middle class. You know, the people the rich people are very rich, the poor people are very poor and usually the Jews are on the rich side of the fence. People marry Jewish for one reason. It's economic. A shika marries a Jewish boy, all of a sudden she's got a lot more money. A marries a Jewish girl, he's got to family with a lot more money. So what kind of gus is that? Now the is once you go through gear, it's gear. We don't play around. There's no there's no you know there's no standards in gear. Either it is or it is in gear. Okay. But it's a very it's a big problem in those countries do not want to do gay at all because most people are going through conversion. I mean if it's for getting married it's already a high but in most cas they're getting married is for the money. I didn't fall in love with her. I fell in love with the father's money. So I can like her too. have a gear. They don't like to do gear in these places and even in America it's that way. Um so you f you make it hard. Why? Because it's a lot. And here are counting the days were counting the days till about yesterday that was so desperate to count the days. How could it be that didn't say anything to the and let him get away with it? The says that which was yesterday didn't give them any instructions because they were tired. He waited till the next day which is today. Today is called Are you aware of this? You look in any calendar it says on the second day of the day of our right. How do you say it in American? I say it in lab. The day we all became G. Even the gay we're all g. What's the proof that we're all g? Anybody know what's the proof? >> Huh? >> Okay. But what what's the proof that we're all gay? Not the everybody hates us. That's the proof that we're all g. Okay. Everybody hates us. So God said so so so the the says is are counting the days to get the they're gonna have so many mitzvah every single part of a Jew's life the mixes into there's no piece of your life says give me a piece of it whatever you do you make eat food he wants you put on clothing there's all kinds of there's shness there's sneak in certain cases everything you do the mixes in to our lives Goya seven mitzvah and the seven mitzvah are so logical. They're so down to earth. They're so practical. They're so and we counted the days. It's interesting thing we counted. Now you could say the reason they counted the days is because they didn't know how many they were going to get. Maybe if they knew how many they were going to get, they would have counted a little softer. You know, they had less kav when they made the um but they counted the days for harina. And the question is why? What is it about Tada that Yeden was so happy to receive? What is it about the TA that the Jewish people got at at Harina and that's such a big deal that people can't wait to get it? Can't wait to get it. Does anybody know the answer to that question? There's probably 50 answers, but does anyone know the answer? I want you to tell me today now. Tomorrow I'll change my mind. I'm going to do this again tomorrow with seminary ALF. I'll give a different tomorrow I learn m actually tomorrow I'm talking about sh so with that I'll give a different answer but for today what is the correct answer for today >> h purpose that's a great answer purpose gives us a purpose it's it's really true >> a way to connect >> a way connect to hashem a way to connect that's even deeper purpose is one thing connect is another actually the truth is you can argue which is deeper for us personally connecting to hashem is deeper for ful for for doing something for the abished fulfilling it. But these are very good answers, right? They're very very good answers that when we're yidden, we have a purpose. When we're yidden, we're connected to the go ahead who we are. >> It's who we are. Can't argue with that. That's a lab answer. Labavich always wins because this is a lab school. This is who we we can't escape ourselves. Does anybody else have another answer? I By the way, everything he said is true. I'm looking for something much simpler, something much more psychological, if you will. from something more down to earth. something that you could explain to a the child even >> I'm sorry what' you say >> direction >> direction okay that's that's closer to what I want so she said purpose >> she said connection to Hashem she said this is who we are she said direction what did you say I heard a voice in this neighborhood >> huh >> guidance guidance >> guidance okay that's what she said direction >> okay anybody else. Huh? >> Freedom. That's the one I'm looking for. Now, since when does being a slave with 613 rules feel like freedom? >> Because of everything else. >> Huh? >> Because of everything else that we said. You hear what she said. How is freedom? Because it gives us purpose. It connects us to the and it gives us direction. and whatever word you used if this is all true. Every single thing said being said here in this room is almis. Okay. I I it's the truth of the matter is it's very simple because we all know it intuitively. Um but but but it's not simple at all. It's not simple at all. And I'm going to explain it to you with an example that I always use. Whenever this comes up in class, I use the same example. I had a friend from Alada. We're in the same class, but of a little younger than I am. He was a genius. He was a genius in all ways, including the fact that he was completely off his rocker. Um, he was a very interesting person. I I I I you know, once in two years, I'll get regards from him. Um, he had permission from Debb to go to Giuliard music school. It was Alanik. Okay. He was he was I'm telling you the guy was a genius. He really was extremely extremely intelligent in a lot of ways. He he came to our house and he played the the violin and my mother my father couldn't believe it cuz he played an instrument like people sing. He had a real hush very sensitive man. So he told me he told me once that Gulliard music school Jiuliard music school is in Manhattan for those who do not know those who live in the country called Brooklyn and they're not aware that there's another country called Manhattan across the bridge in that other country called Manhattan there's a musical it's one of the most famous music schools in the world to get into Giuliard is very hard. You have to be whatever you have to be conditioned I don't know exactly what I know one thing I'm not getting into Giuliard. I'm not even trying. I DON'T EVEN FEEL BAD THAT I'M NOT GETTING INTO JULIAN. OKAY. But he told me that you'll never ever get a compliment from a teacher in music Julian music school. Never. They'll always point out what could be better. Sometimes they'll say, "This time it wasn't bad. >> This time it was not bad. That was terrible. This time it wasn't bad." You need to understand you're talking about people, boys and girls, men and women, who are practicing their instrument between 6 and 8 hours a day. A day. And they they they they learn music like you learn or like your learn. They spend so much time on it. And the professor says, "Well, this was wrong over there. You got lazy and then you ran out of steam." that see he told me that he says kids you to jump out windows push it the pressure was so people would push it commit suicide the pressure was unbelievable and you know if you would complain it's not nice you have to be sensitive you have to be worried about people's feelings they would say this door is right here no one forced you to come here now this is the simple truth of life excellence requires constructive of criticism. If you want to do well in anything, you need to be constructively criticized. If a person wants to achieve great things, they have to take on great challenge. One of the greatest challenges of life is being criticized. There's a a little innocent. All the are little and innocent, but every one of them is an atomic bomb. Does anybody know? >> Say it loud again. How do you know by heart? You know the whole heart or it's your birthday? >> It's it's I had a girl years ago who knew the Bah cover to cover. You should love constructive criticism. It's going to put you into a place of truth. Now girls, let's be honest. Who likes criticism? We hate it. Why do we hate our parents? Number one, because they're always telling us what to do. Now what our parents are telling us what to do is good for us or bad for us. It's actually very good for us. We become very sensitive. We become particularly sensitive to our parents because our parents anything they say feels like a needle or like a knife or like I don't know what like a dagger because it's our parents. But if we were mature and we were healthier emotionally and we could take the constructive it's the best thing. It's the best thing to learn how to be criticized. I know for myself is one of the hardest things in the world. The psychology of it is when someone criticizes you, you think it's personal. You know, when someone criticizes you, you think they're criticizing you. They're not criticizing you. They're criticizing what you did. Yesterday with the I don't with that minion because it's noisy. And during musf, guys were carrying on a conversation like as if it was lunchtime. So I was sha shying until I finished musf. And when I finished musk, I asked the bakham to leave the room. They were very hurt and very insulted. So it became a sh from I had to bring in the therapist and give him medication and calm them down and make them feel better and 101 apologies and they're still upset and they're going to suffer trauma till they're 74 years old. Um I wish what I just said was funny because it it slows us down. I don't know you girls. I don't know you girls. I'm going to make two statements I believe are both true. Number one, most of you do not take criticism well. Number two, some of you do take criticism well and those who do are better for it. If you have the maturity to be criticized, you grow. You don't be you're not insulted by the criticism. The criticism makes you grow. Rabbi Yankl JJ He the great really he once a shabas he came to California there was nobody around he came for and there was 10 bakim so see the whole shabas was one of the most memorable shabas of my life j himself sat in there was it wasn't like hundreds of people the few guys sat around him and he sat a whole shab one of the things he told us was that he once said something to the waspik and the said to him doesn't talk this way. See, he said to the Reb with a straight face, a doesn't talk this way to his reb, but a son talks this way to his father. Aun and the Reb took it from him. Aun I know from his he had pictures of the Reb in every book. He he would walk in the 770 kids are selling pictures. I mean, this is you guys what pictures are anymore because everything's on the computer. He he just loved the he was a very big he served. So JJ used to speak in 77 the big fabangans. I mean this is something that they still make them but in those days the big fabian happened when the kiss was a big kiss was a fabian was a fabangan. Um I don't know when else was a faban. I mean of course later on was a faban. So when they made a big fabangan, they'd put out food, the whole sh tables of food and there'd be a big stage either in the back of the sh or in the same place and people would take turns speaking. It was the same speakers, the same mash of the same unless there were guests. And to be very very honest, most of the people got up to speak would repeat the same speech every time. Three or four times a year there'd be a big faban the same yidden spoke and they said the same thing. You know why? because they didn't prepare. It wasn't respectful. >> Reb was there. >> No, of course not. In front of the Reb was of course the Reb was there. But we were comfortable carrying on. You know what I'm saying? He was there in the kind of way that we carry on. Uncle He always came prepared. JJ He every time he spoke said something original and I I always admired this about him. Angal was a great speaker. He spoke I don't know 20 speeches a week. He did not have to prepare a speech in 770. He came prepared and if you understand the psychology of that he was showing us respect coming into 770 talking to Anash and not just saying whatever was saying to us I respect you enough. He would go into his archives he'd find a letter from that eba or something from his past and he'd bring it to 77 and he'd read it. He'd share it with us. And I I I so admire that in him. I I butlal I do not speak unprepared. I always prepare my talks and sometimes I prepare an hour. Sometimes I prepare five minutes. But before I come here I I listen to the every week I look at what I did last week. I look at the questions and sometimes I forget what I prepare but I because I do it early in the morning. But I I you have to if you respect your students you have to be prepared. He always came prepared and he told such wonderful things. He didn't repeat the same thing because he would actually prepare. So one of the times he came to 77 told the following story. It was so personal. He he did something JJ and JJ when he was young was a young American. He was on the ball. He wasn't he wasn't from Russia without so he did something which was a little bit risque. Maybe it wasn't appropriate. I don't know. He didn't say what he did but he said that for his position he shouldn't have done it. whatever it was and he got a note from the a scathing note a scathing note the was really unhappy now you need to understand the used to write very forcefully the's style of communication was extremely forceful you got a note from the and you thought the is so angry at you he doesn't talk to you anymore person told me that when he first a young man he's a very sensitive person and two or three weeks into his job he got a note The Reba the Reba wasn't happy with his work. He was so broken. He wanted to quit. He was so hurt. Like he did the worst thing in the world. So he he wrote the Reba a note and he actually wrote in his note, why is the angry at me? And the Reba wrote back, "I'm not angry at all. That's how I talk to my employees. If you work for me, I talk straight to you. I don't beat around the bush. I'm not sensitive." that one one of the people told me that if the deba stopped criticizing that means the wasn't happy was a very critical boss but it was never personal it seemed personal because it was written so tough but the was he was never personal he was he was criticizing what you did not who you were anyway yank did something like that and he got a note from the wow he was very hurt personally so he wrote the letter are you listening that based on what he did, it's clear that he's not to work for the Reb. So, he's resigning. I mean, the guy had like 50 jobs. Anytime the Reb needed something done, he dumped it on JJ. Any problem that came to the Reb was on JJ. It's not normal how the Reb push it dumped on him. He just gave him extra things to do as if he had nothing else to do with himself. He was a very special person. It was a very big and we see and he sent into the Reb all the keys of all the doors to all the locks all the locks all the doors of every maj that he was doing for the Rebba and there were many of them. So the Reb gets this note with the keys an envelope with a note that they saying based on what I did I'm not worthy working for the Reb and I'm resigning. The took a pencil with a pencil, ran his hand across the page with such force that he tore the page. He scribbled on the note. I don't have time for Nadeskitan. Sent them back the keys and the note. End of story. He wrote it in Hebrew. I have no time for stupidity. Don't cut it out. And gave him back the keys. Now, when he wrote to the that he's quitting, he he was being sincere. He wasn't blackmailing the he wasn't daring the to fire him you know like maybe I'm not such a big but but I'm a good fundraiser you know you need me he wasn't doing that it was sincere I'm not fit to serve the you know it's it's being close to the is not so much fun I you have to understand if someone came to me tomorrow and says would you like to be the secretary the answer is absolutely not you don't want to be close to the you want you want to listen to him talk you want to tell you what you say direction but the being close to the deb as they being close to the fire. It's it's a lot of pressure. It's nish pushet. It's God's nish. The secret pressure that the secretaries carried every day of their life could have made your head explode. And it wasn't only because it was hard work. It's because you were near elus mamish. You were so close to there was no margin for error. There was no margin for error. You couldn't make any mistakes. Anyway, end of story. Three months pass. Three months pass. He went back to his job. He took his keys, you know, the whole thing. Then he had ais for his family, a birthday. I believe I I don't know this for a fact, but I'm pretty sure without knowing for a fact that had an open door by the Reb. Rabak didn't have to make an appointment. If he needed to talk to the Reb, he knocked on the door and he walked in. There were a handful of people that the Reb told just knock on the door and walk in. And we know what they were. There were people that told them in you have to wait in line and youngest brother whose name was Sydney had an open door by the and he would use it. He would come to say knock on door walk in and talk to the and there were others. Rabi label Briski who had such a permission and there were a few others. I believe did not need an appointment. Anytime he wanted he went to the Reb but this was a family. It was a very different mood cuz this wasn't business. The Reb wasn't talking to him about the Reb was talking about himself and his wife and his children. It was very warm. It was very loving. So he went in with his said he went in with his children and there was everybody had but I would imagine that Ma was a little bit longer was a little bit warmer. The love that the Reb had for the Hek brothers was it was legendary. The Reb would see any of the Heck brothers anytime he would start to smile. Six American boys. They were the biggest labana. They weren't Russians. They had no g at all except for bi that gge they had. But the would see any of the half brothers. He would smile. One of his grandchildren told me he want he went in line with his grandfather for dollars cuz he wanted the smile to carry over to him. The would see his grandfather that big smile when he walked up to the smile was gone like it was never there in a split second. There wasn't even it was finished. But when they walked every time had such a smile the love that had for them was really very special and they had this at the end of the brings up the topic and again Rab told the story I'm telling you in public I I save the recordings whenever people send me these recordings I save them because they're really special and they're not just special because they're personally they're instructional he you know the story about about about the z about getting more years TOLD THE STORY IN 770 publicly have a tape of it. He told the story by everybody, you know, he every time he spoke, he came prepared. So he said that the Reb says to him in Yiddish, I'll say it in English because I don't have that much time. I don't understand you. Says, I don't understand you. Says to him, you should be so happy. That's a Yiddish word that you don't even hear anymore. That someone's paying attention to you. What could be better in a person's life that someone who was there to correct him when he steps out of line? Like why'd you get so hurt? I was simply correcting you. He was very hurt because the tone was probably very strong and what he did was probably also considerably stupid. You know, it wasn't that he said benching and forgot yalova. You understand? It was probably a bigger event than that. Um, but the Reb said, "You should be so happy that there's somebody who looks over your shoulder when you make a mistake, it corrects you." And that's the story going back to the story of Giuliard. If a person wants to succeed in life, they have to learn how to take constructive criticism. I I teach I teachidas professionally. Okay? I have students, I have children, my own kids, and then I have, of course, acquaintances, people that I know. casually who talk to me. People come me up all the time, ask me questions and I'm an honest person. I'm honest to a fault. Honesty is a terrible policy, but I I'm not good at telling a white lie. I'm just not good at it. I become a little bit gentler over the years. I I used to be brutal. I was so honest I would just hurt people. Um, but if you're going to say something stupid, I'm going to tell you it's stupid. And 20 years ago, I would said this is stupid. So imagine you're a book of 16 years old and you spent 5 hours learning a mime and you figured out you go up to your mash and say, you know, I came UP WITH THIS GREAT idea and he unrolls the idea and says, you know, stupid. Now that's terribly wrong and insensitive. Um, so I'm supposed to say it's interesting. I never thought of it. You know, maybe didn't think of it, but h how do you how do you you know, one of the most profound barometers of any person is how honest they can be with their own children. If your parents could be honest with you, they did something very right. A lot of kids cannot take criticism from their parents. They love their parents. The parents love them, but it just hurts too much. you'd go to your mashpia quicker than you go to your own parents. Um because your parents, however they, however well-intentioned they are, people say things in ways that if you're particularly sensitive, they're hurtful. And it's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. Why? Because our kids would grow if they could take constructive criticism. Our students would grow. I would grow if I could take constructive criticism. I'm not good at it. I'm better than I used to be, but I don't like to be told what's wrong with me. I don't like it at all. And when I was younger, I would become very defensive like I said to you because when someone criticized me, I didn't take it a criticism of what I did. I took it personally that they're saying I'm a bad person, which wasn't that was never true. That's why were looking for was going to make them slaves to Hashem. What happens to become a slave of Hashem? You have to work very hard. But what happens when you work very hard? You become a superman. Just what happens? You grow up. Mitzvah is a challenge to each person. There's 613 mitzvah. And this is the rule of Yiddish. Everybody loves some of the mitzvah and everybody hates some of the other mitzvah. And everybody has a group of mitzvah that they find boring. You know, you make a yawn when you send away the mother bird. You take the chicks. All people relate to yiddishkite, but not all of it. Parts of it. If you're a kind person, you love the mitzvah of stuck. If you're a control freak, you love the mitzvah of of law and order, responsibility, and accountability and right and wrong and all the other things, right? And if you're a person who I don't know what who likes things to be very pretty. So then you like the parts of Yiddish that are very beautiful. But very few people like all of it. Why? Because there's a part of Yiddish that hurts me. Why did it hurt me? It's against my nature. But the part of Yiddish which is against my nature. The part of Yiddish hurts me. When I do that part I grow. The aisha came to every single Jew and said, "I'm giving all of you 613 mitzvah and I'm expecting each of you to do them all." And the y says, "The first 500%. The next 50 we got to negotiate. The other 63 you got to take them off my list." And around the corner of the first 300 mitz, I'm in. The next mitzv I'm finished. The last 13 I'll let my wife do them for me. which we all have think yiddeskite is a challenge it's a huge challenge you know I say this to my students all the time and this is a conversation that comes up here right why do people cry out there's there's a lot of reasons the number one reason for because there's psychological reasons there's emotional reasons very very rarely is a person's reason for crying out theological you know they have amuna issues it happens but it's not usually the case certainly not not in our generations but I ask my students all the And what's the number one reason people don't learn TA? Does anybody know the answer to that question? What is the number one reason people don't learn TA? >> It's hard. >> Because it's hard. >> Because it's hard. And if we liked it, we would do it. The boy on the bench next to me is learning it because he's smart and he's a geek. He loves to read. So he's learning. I don't like I one of my students said to me, "Rabbi, you and I are exactly the same. You learn cuz you're good at it. I work out cuz I'm good at it. What's the difference between me and you? You're doing what you're good at. I'm doing it. But you get religious points. I get points. You understand? But if you do it, if you embrace it, if you embrace all 630 mitzvah, even the mitzvah that are hard for you, like the quote we had the other day, you become a mench. You become a mench. That's what Yiddish does for us. I I I think about this a lot. I don't even know why, but I this winter I've been thinking about it all winter. Why do people hate religion? Yidd and they hate religion. Religion is a bad word. It's the R word, you know. It's not even about God. It's about religion. Why do people hate religion? They hate God because God is a nuisance. But why do people hate religion? You know, Jews who used to practice mitz and everybody hate Yiddish guy Christians hate Christianity. Even some Muslims fry Muslim. There's no such thing, by the way, as a fryer Muslim. There's no such thing as fria Christian. There's only such a thing as a fria Jew. You know why? Because a Jew is who you are, not what you do. If you stop being a practicing Christian, you're not a Christian anymore. You're not a reformed Christian. You're just not a Christian. If you stop practicing Islam, you're not a Muslim. You stop Jewish. Why? Because it's not what you do, it's who you are. Why do people hate religion? You know why? I think because religion criticizes do it this way you're not this you're not allowed to do this you're not but I want to do it it feels good it gives me pleasure you're not allowed to do it you're not allowed to do it is is religion wrong do we think religion is wrong which says don't do this don't do this don't do this we know religion is right that's why we hate it so much because what religion is telling me to do is two things number one good for me number two finish the sentence >> hard for me if if we had an easy time doing mitzvikim not because we love God but because we love ourselves and the mitzvah is Hashem made so many mitzvah that he found an area for every Jew who will ever live that's going to be hard that's going to require him or her to stretch themselves to pull themselves to make themselves bigger that's Why yidden are so successful? Now I usually give you a different answer but for today this is what we're saying. Yidden are very hardworking. Not only hardworking and making money. Everybody's hardworking and being made money. We're hardworking in our family life. We're hardworking in our parental responsibilities. A guy gets married. Yeah. How much does he invest in his marriage? I'm sure some invest an awful lot. I'm sure. And I'm sure yo neglect their wives, neglect their husbands. Their marriages fail. But on average from yidden from yidden from from yidd are better marriages because they're from and from says work hard. Work hard and shalom. Don't say I love my wife if my life meets all my expectations. You work hard on it. You work hard because you're conditioned to hard work. And the same is true with how do you have 10 kids and raise them all normal? I'm asking you a question. In America, you have one kid in the poodle and the poodle's crazy and the one kid is crazier. One of the one of the that I know a rabbi tells me a story. He he raises money for Russian causes. He's been involved in for 50 years more. So he raises money for Russian causes and he met a lot of very rich people. He said he came to a house of a man. The man was then in the 70s a multi-millionaire worth a lot a lot of money. Big mansion. He had one son, one boy, and the kids was literally bouncing off the walls. He was like chicken from candy. I don't know what it was. He was nuts. So he says to this man, "You employ 1,200 people, 1,200 workers. They're at your beck and call. Whatever you say they do, you discipline them, you control them, you direct them, you manage them, and they cooperate. Why can't you discipline your own kid?" So he said to this, "Ah, he's a little boy. Let him have fun. He's a little boy. Let him have fun. And every time you would meet him, which is once every year or so, this conversation would come up. And this was usually the He's still little. And then he became a teenager. And he put in earrings and tattoos and colorful hair. And he became, you know, outwardly cuckoo. And he says to him, "Why don't you raise your son?" He says, "Oh, he's an adult. He can make decisions for himself." So the says to this man, you know, I've been coming to your house for 10 years. I've asked you this question five times. You always said to me, he spoke in Yiddish. He's young. Let him play. He's an adult. How much time is there from the end of He's still young? Let him have fun. And he's an adult. Let him make decisions for himself. You know what the correct answer to that question is? Zero. So where's >> toys, vacation, nice clothes? Maybe the threat if you take drugs I'm not going to give you the second car because the first guy you smashed in other words he doesn't have a value of is a religious value is hard I know I tell people my my my firm belief is that the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life is not raise kids is be married it's very hard to be married to another person especially since their men and women are so different it's an amazing the greatest thing you'll ever do. Second, no question about those are the hardest things you'll ever do. Okay? You do them well because you grew up in a home where your parents did it well. You watched people work very hard. You watch people make mistakes. Think about it again. Correct it. Make mistakes. Yiddish guy gave us that. Yiddish guy gave us the idea that we don't only work hard at making money. We work hard at being righteous. Are we righteous? No. But boy, WE COULD BE WORSE. BOY, COULD WE be worse left? Understood this. Yidden left. They were slaves. Slaves are hef. Slaves do anything they want. I've told this story before. It's one of my greatest stories. And I have to say it in Yiddish. If you don't know Yiddish, I said you because it doesn't go over well in English. There was a Jew named Rubishv was he was a real g okay not just because of but because of his you missed the beginning of this class it's everybody's g um which of course defeats the whole point everybody's gbody's g I have to be better than somebody his name was Zman he was named named after the alterb. He got himself kicked out of at 14 years old for reading goes books. The guy was a genius and he spent a lot of years of his life literally as an appetus. He didn't believe in God. He was one of the principal thinkers of the secular Zionist movement. He wrote books and books and books and books of I once saw his books years. By the time he passed away, he was 100% fum he put on film. He ate kosher. He kept shabas. He was the president of Israel. He built a shul in betanasi in the president's house. Shazar built it. Shazar became warmer over time. In 1948, he came to America because they were worried about the partition that there should be after killing six million Jews to give us a strip of land that was impossible to defend if the Jews would be given. I don't know if you understand what happened when they made Israel state. They gave us statehood, but they gave us the kind of state that the Arabs could run over by mistake. that we survived. 48 is such a nest. It's such a nest. It's such a nest. It's such We didn't have weapons. We won that war with noise makers. We made a machine that made sound like a lot of bullets and the Arabs ran away from the noise. There was no guns with no bullets. Nothing noise. Anyway, I digress. He came to America, Shazar did, and he went to the to ask the governments of the world should agree to be state of Israel. And he knew that the Reb was anti-ionist. And the Reb surprised him and gave him the and he said to the Reb, you know, you always against. And the Reb said, "Then I was against Satown." When he walked, the first words were said to him knew him. Was the principal who poisonly kicked him out of 50 years before said, "Zin, how are you?" And Z said immortal words. Immortal words in Gim. There's an expression. A slave wants to remain a slave. There's a rule in if I do something that's good for you, do I have to give you notice before? If I find a wallet, I say I'm picking up this wallet for Miriam and then I come to Miriam, they say this wallet is yours. I picked it up for you yesterday. If it's it's good for you to have that wallet, I can't change my mind once I picked it up because but if I free my slave, my slave is not there. Is my phrase slave free or not? Is yeah, but no. Why? Because slaves want to remain slaves. Because slaves are totally fry. They have no have more mitzvah than a in certain a free man and woman has certain that are slave. So so a a slave wants to be fried. So he says I am so fry and I'm not happy. The asked him how are you? And he said to the rebrea, I am so fly, but I'm not happy. That's why you didn't count the days for M. Okay, we had a class. Thank you. You're welcome.