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think about the Menendez trial I
remember I'm a little bit younger than
them so I think I was a teenager when
that trial was happening I remember the
trial and I remember how everybody spoke
and I remember it was just conventional
wisdom it was accepted by everyone that
they were spoiled brats and they killed
their parents because they wanted money
now today the so-called Tik Tock
generation or gen Z is looking at this
and they're like these kids were
terribly terribly abused it's not right
what they did they're the first ones to
say that they regret every single day
that they hurt their parents they wish
they didn't do it but it clearly wasn't
this nefarious plotting evil scheme in
the 9s it was so clear to us that it was
today people look at it and they say
these children these boys were victims
and I think from what I understand they
may even be released now for time served
I think this is sort of like an iconic
moment which sums up a lot of what has
changed just in my lifetime I'm 50 years
old about something that happened when I
was a teenager now I'm looking in the
past few decades it used to be assumed
that it's not not possible just not
possible and therefore we can't even
entertain the notion that a parent could
be so cruel and now people are accepting
the reality that unfortunately in some
cases there is such a thing and I think
the reason why that's a sign of healing
in our generation it's a positive
development is not just that we should
be able to recognize these extreme cases
of abuse obviously that's one benefit
but then there's a spillover and that is
even in the majority of situations which
are not extremely dysfunctional where
they're just sort of like normal
dysfunction I think now there's much
more willingness for parents to say hey
what I did is not okay I need to own up
to that I need to change that once upon
a time in my own lifetime parents
wouldn't even consider that if a parent
did it it was almost automatically it
was right if a parent does it it's right
they don't even have to look for an
excuse if a parent does it it's not like
to find an excuse for why it was okay by
definition if a parent did it it's okay
and now today there's much more
willingness for parents to be
introspective and to hold themselves
accountable and to say no that wasn't
okay I'm willing to take the blame and
I'm willing to fix my relationship with
my child and that's a huge thing that's
happening in our day and age and it's a
wonderful thing that's happening
