The Children Who Challenge You, Help You Discover the Real G-d

the yeshiva.net [Music] so we're in the middle of the mimer of the lobov discourse that was said on the at the fabrian of shabbos parishes told us the shabbos before the month of kistler the shabbos that was kislev which would be the end of 1967. and it focuses on the pasek it begins and focuses on the passage with which yitzhak begins giving the blessings to yaakov who he thinks is asaf hashem should give you from the dew of heaven and from the fat of the earth so in the first year which was last monday we spoke a lot about the name of eli kim and why these blessings come from the kim when usually entirely the most blessings are associated with the name of yut kevke like in berkshire the priestly blessings which by the way in rashi this question is raised why it says ali kim and actually gives a whole explanation it's actually many homicides it's in small letters because i think it's it's not in all the manuscripts of nashi but the question is a is a it's quite an ancient question why the word did namely kim is used and he spoke a lot about that with avraham avinu and yitzhak and gura and so forth i'm not going to repeat that you could learn it inside and review it because i don't want to uh when i repeat i get stuck often in the repetition that was the first three chapters focusing on that how the bracha from gevorah is more intense and yet the bracha and that was the brah hashem gave yitzhak after avram's death because the system of the world changed from khasa to vura but yet ibrahim gives yaakov he wants to give asa and ends up giving out was even deeper than that and then beginning from sid dallad the mymer went on to start explaining the deeper element of why yitzhak wanted to bless asaph even though he was not naive and he knew that aesop does not mention hashem's name in his conversations as we explained then he proved and it's how the the ghazal explained why how yitzhak identified that it's the voice of yaakov wasn't just the physical voice the ramban says that the twins they sounded alike or yaakov really had that ability to to to mimic ace of his voice so it wasn't the physical voice of yaakov but rather the style of language you know the way somebody speaks you know that this is this has his or her imprint and yaakov mentions hashem's name asaf doesn't so yitzhak knows this so if he knows that hashem doesn't mean he knows that asa doesn't mention hashem's name why does he want to bless him with these great blessings and that explains based on the bellatania and this is based on the teachings of thyrizal and many teachings in the kabbalistic literature the itzhak saw that asaf contains very lofty sparks very profound holy sparks and by blessing him he would accentuate he would reveal he would bring to the fore those those inner latent energies of aesop because a blessing is not just saying nice words but it's really bringing forth a great light an alien accessing and drawing down a great light which we understand this even within our own world our own relationships that by when you bless somebody meaning when you see their goodness and you accentuate it and you talk about it and you you help them see it so by you believing in them you help them believe in themselves so yitzchak here wanted to really bring forth a light that will help illuminate asa that he should be able to see himself in a new light but there was a challenge and this challenge rifka understood very well and that is if this light would have been drawn down on ace of not through yaakov one of two things would have happened either it would have been swallowed up in him meaning it would have been completely absorbed to the point that it wouldn't be recognizable it's like in the story of paris paris dream where the lean cows swallow up the fat cows and you don't recognize that they were ever there that would be one option the example i gave was you know you give money to somebody who needs recovery and you want to help them you really want to help them but they're not in a state where they can receive that help and they would just squander the money to buy more destructive substances the other option would be it would be so effective that asap would become a spiritual zombie his whole identity would be obliterated it would be nullified in this great light you know he would become so holy that he wouldn't exist anymore it would be no asap which of course you know you can undo the world and everything will be holy but that's not the objective in order for aesop to be sublimated it has to happen through yaakov through his relationship with yaakov and it may happen over it happens over a long period of history so hashem orchestrated that yitzhak should bless yaakev so that these great lights talha shamay should go to yaakov and ultimately through that he will elevate the sparks of jesus that was chapter five four what did chapter five explain what is this great light that elevates the sparks so this is a very deep idea and people had a lot of questions on it i'm going to try to explain but let's let's summarize what we learned it says in in kabbalah is that in clipper things are number things are orchestrated in the number 11. in conduction holiness it's 10. and that's why when they burned the incense every morning or afternoon in the bay samir there were 11 herbs 11 herbs that were ignited and their aroma went up we enumerate those 11 every single morning some you know saks fired and you do it twice before chakras and at the end of chakras right before eleno it's an important piece in davening because those 11 herbs represent forces connected to unholiness and we want to elevate all of the 11 as they're known 11 crowns of impurity why eleven if god orchestrated the world that the building blocks of the world are ten not eleven so why do we say in holiness everything is ten not nine not eleven it's ten of course hashem could have had eleven could have made twenty could have made a hundred but he chose eleven they're known as the ten spheres the ten building blocks of the universe the ten building blocks of the soul i got it so why unholiness number eleven the answer is because and this is very very important to understand and if you if you don't review the previous class because this you really have to integrate and i'll get it because in clipper which means unholiness we also count number 11 because we also count the divine life that vivifies unholiness everything comes from hashem there's no reality in the world that's not receiving its animation its vitality its existence and its continuous existence from the level like we say in the davening every morning you give life to everybody and to everything but there's a difference between kedusha and clipper and this is the key by kedusha the definition of holiness is integration the definition of clipper is dissonance okay important statement caduceus integration clipper is dissonance cognitive dissonance and all forms of dissonance why because if clipper wouldn't experience dissonance it wouldn't be clipper if you're aware that you're connected to infinity so then you're not clipper the challenge of clipper is it doesn't know who it really is in other words there's a dissonance between me and me between me and who i think i am right and essentially all dysfunction is that i wasn't planning to talk about trauma today but what is trauma trauma is you don't know who you are you really don't know who you are right one of the better definitions of trauma that's given today is that your core beliefs about yourself are damaged and they impair your productive functionality in this world as a dignified citizen of humanity may have happened because of one event it may have happened because of an accumulation of events trauma doesn't just mean that something challenging happened to me it means something challenging happened to me or is inside of me may have not happened you know maybe epigenetics but it compromises a very core belief about me you know and i'm damaged if you would know me you would never be my friend i am essentially essentially unworthy now these are things we may not be conscious of but they may be driving so much of my habits or instincts i may be binging on food constantly between chocolate potato chips and black and whites because of that it's an escape of that very very profound um notion that is deeply embedded but what's the point of it the point is there's a complete dissonance between the truth you're not damaged i mean you're damaged the terror the gemara says the mission says in sanhedrin 38 that a person has to say the whole world was created for you so god created the whole cosmos for a damaged for a damaged hopeless loser but it's my core belief you could quote me a missionary from today till tomorrow it's not verbal it's not that philosophically you came to a conclusion that you're worthless people don't come to that philosophical conclusion at least it's very rare to have people who have reached that conclusion philosophically you know cajella struggles always with the vanity of the universe and the vanity of a person but i'm talking here about something that really convinced me i may have been there in fifth grade i asked a question and everybody started to laugh or i was bullied and i felt like you know and everybody laughed and as a result of that i have been crushed and i'm still crushed i don't tell myself today it's because i was bullied it becomes already my belief it's not any more connected to the bully and it's so important because people who are don't we're not impaired by this don't understand it but what's the common what i'm trying to bring out is this is all part of clippy you know we talk about clipper as some mysterious evil it's not just evil clipper means anything that covers up your true vibe your true music anything that eclipses your glorious divine reality is clipper any thought any word any action any habit any addiction any behavior any instinct any emotion that eclipses and denies and belies the truth that you are a derivative of divine love and oneness is covering up your true identity there is a dissonance the definition of kadusha is transparency therefore in kedusha the divine energy is integrated that becomes my identity that's why it's holy that's what holiness means talk about shabbos we say shabba is all that doesn't mean there's a holy it's a more transparent thing the inner holiness of the universe is more manifested on the day of shabbos you say a holy place a holy item a holy person would mean a holy person it's a holy person woman we know that he's an ish kaddish we mean a holy person there's transparency there's no blockage he he or she is a conduit for the divine so by definition of kedush is that the divine energy is integrated it vivifies in a conspicuous and revealed way the holiness because there's no dissonance that's why it's holy it identifies itself as a manifestation of divine oneness but in clipper if it was integrated it would be clipper clipper means that it's concealed the divine energy is completely not integrated in a way that clipper identifies with divinity because if it would it wouldn't be ecliptically it means it's a cover-up what allows for the cover-up is that the divine energy is aloof it's in in in kabbalistic and hasidic language it's called makif in kedusha the energy is pinemi panimi means it's integrated it's internalized makif means it hovers over you the word market means it surrounds you but we're not talking here in spatial terms around you we're talking here in existential terms it's around you means it's not internally integrated so you're not conscious of it within your conscious self it affects you but it's like a super conscious reality it's known as kesser it's the crown above the brain you have the brain the conscious brain kessler is the super conscious brain in other words that's what's happening in my brain that i'm unaware of it's very effective in fact what is super conscious is much more effective than what's conscious because it's much more powerful but i'm completely unaware of it i may spend my whole life not being aware of it why because my conscious brain never detected and became aware of it there's a dissonance that's why in conduction there's so much self-awareness in cleepa there's little self-awareness self-awareness is the idea of transparency you could see what's happening so in kedusha everything is 10 why because the reality or the person is one with the divine energy and the divine energy is categorized choreographed in 10. conception comprehension application love um boundaries strength empathy victory gratitude or submission bonding and confidence leadership royalty those are the ten building blocks of the universe everything is made up of all those of each one of the ten it's like the spiritual chemistry of the universe this this the the spiritual cellular structure however the divine energy is completely one so there's ten but in clipper the energy of the divine that animates it it's called citra the other side can't be integrated because if it would be integrated one of two things would happen either it wouldn't be clipper or the energy would be completely swallowed up and it wouldn't be able to do its job so it remains above so you count it separately so you have number 11 you have the 10 the 10 attributes of clip of the 10 crowns but you have the 11th crown which is the divine energy now it's not about numbers this is about a very deep understanding of clippers so this means that klippe has something that is superior to duration because in kedusha the divine energy is condensed it's limited because it is integrated with structure and clip of the divine energy remains above it never has to integrate because it can't integrate because it wants to animate the clipper so it needs to allow for the clipper to do its own thing to be its own thing to function as a clipper as a shell as a husk so many ways the divine energy of clipper is much higher because it has that infinite bohemian uninhibited component to it which lacks all structure there's something very intense about it because it doesn't go through filters because it remains above great question why when the energy of a vela course of godliness is integrated in gdusha does the energy not get swallowed up and the answer is because kedusha is about being a conduit for that energy the definition of kedusha is that the i is part of the divine eye any thought or word or behavior that is basically a manifestation of the truth that i am an ambassador of the divine in this world i am an ambassador of love light hope compassion authenticity wisdom healing redemption that is holiness holiness is the experience of oneness i am part of oneness all arrogance insecurity and unhealthy toxicity and fear is the experience of loneliness separateness detachment and the worst the terror of the first thing that terrorist says is not good is it says that god saw the world every day he saw the creation and it was good every day good good good good friday very good tuesday two times good because there was no good on monday every day it's good it's good it's good it's good wonderful and then the next the next chapter god says there's one thing that's not good lloyd what's the first thing tyra says is not good it's not good for men to be loved alone detachment today they call it attachment disorder as childhood we have attachment disorders the attachments that i needed i didn't get the caretakers who were supposed to give you that experience of attachment the four s's to be seen to be soothed to feel safe to feel secure i didn't get so i'm trying to compensate but this is not just a psychological idea it's also very deeply spiritual idea we are attached and therefore we crave attachment not just an evolutionary idea because we have evolved and the only way we could survive is through teamwork so therefore embedded in our brain is the need for attachment and when there's the attachment disorder we can't function well it's not just a random mistake because of evolution because the foragers could only survive when they were together it's a very deeply from a jewish perspective it's a very deep spiritual idea attachment is so important because that is who we are we are attached and the more attached i am the more individual i can be because the more attached i am the more confidence i have the more i'm at peace with me so that me could be me i can be i i can fulfill my unique function and be the unique derivative of god's light the way it's manifested through me or through you or through every individual in their own unique way so kadusha is all about attachment it's about vacus his cashers vegas with yourself vegas with other people vegas with your loved ones vegas means oneness and vegas of course with the core of reality with hashem kadush is about the vekas where there is oneness there is kadusa where there's actually right it says there were 70 souls but they're considered one nephesh by ace if not there's multiplicity there's fragmentation why because the closer we come to the source the more we identify with our source the more we recognize our oneness it's also true in science the deeper science get to the deeper science and physics and astrophysics and cosmology gets to the core of reality the more we recognize the oneness of the universe if i look at the universe from a surface perspective everything seems separate fragmented but if you study chemistry and you realize everything is made up of similar building blocks right if i look at myself in a banana i'm very different i like banana but i'm not a banana i'm not an elephant i'm not an ant but if you get to the dna level if you study dna molecules you see that we share 50 percent of dna with a banana in other words there's actually a debris is one and the deeper we go the more oneness we see because the more you go away from the layers the cover-ups the more transparency the more oneness so in kedusha the divine energy doesn't have to get swallowed up and squandered it's like when you give money to the healthy person he'll go to the dock they won't use it for destructive things i spoke before but asap why because the divine energy is what makes you tick it's who you consciously are so you don't swallow it on the contrary it becomes your identity but in clipper if the energy was integrated with it one of two things that would happen either clipper would cease to be clipper it would just dissolve in nothingness like we said before the bronchus could have caused ace of just to melt away in ecstasy and there was no ace of left or the other way around ace of would swallow it up and there's no caduceus there's no theos left there's no energy so the divine energy always remains aloof separate and clipper knows super subconsciously that it's connected to it but it has no way of identifying with it so it completely distorts its own reality and identity into thinking that it is what it not what it's not and god is still giving it fears but that fierce is number 11 because it remains aloof you know the standard baron yeah there's 10 there's there's 10 building blocks and every single one is a conduit has gets its energy from hashem but if the energy was in a revealed integrated way the clipper wouldn't be clipper either the clipper would swallow up the energy and it wouldn't be able to lift from it because it would just dissolve and get lost or the clipper would cease to be clipped in order for the clipper to be clipper the divine energy that animates it remains aloof it hovers above it so to speak i don't mean spatially i mean existentially it's not consciously aware of what gives it life because if unholiness would be aware of what gives it life how can it be unholy right what allows let's talk about it psychologically what allows a person to be able to go on living with core beliefs that are that are broken that are fragmented that are erroneous is because there is a dissonance there is a separation there is a majitsa between who i really am and who i think i am and sometimes my whole life i live in that in that bubble it's a bubble all clipper is a bubble it makes me biased it makes me fearful it makes me insecure it's what self-consciousness is we often spoke about self-consciousness yes some of you will understand this very very well what is self-consciousness i mean self-consciousness in a in a in a real in a way that appears it appears me or impears you it's like coming into a to an event and you can't be there because all i'm thinking about is right what they're thinking about me anybody knows what i'm talking about you come into a shirt you come to abba mitzvah you come to a hassan you come to asheville brothers right they say that israel the self-consciousness levels are better because there's more kedusha there emotion is not true i don't know that you lose it completely but that's what they say that in historical it's a little better that's what nahman writes no my point is when somebody's experiencing self-consciousness i'm in a bubble i'm stuck i like get me out of this place the problem is i can't get out of this place because it's my thoughts and i'm like trapped in them right and when i get out of it i'm just getting i'm trying to get out you know that feeling you're trying to get out of it but it's like pulling yourself up by your ear you're never going to pull yourself up by you you're not going to be able to pull yourself up by your hair you need somebody else to take you out of it because the thoughts that i'm trying to employ in order to get out of my self-consciousness those thoughts are stuck in self-consciousness so when you're using thoughts to get out of self-consciousness you just perpetuate the prison so i i become in a bubble i'm like locked up and for those of you who experience what i'm saying you know how difficult it is because what are the tools to use if i use those very same dysfunctional tools i remain stuck in the same place so here's so here is right so think good thoughts but sometimes the experience is pre-verbal so i have to go to a place that transcends thoughts my brain is not going to be able to do it sometimes that's where you have to shut down your brain your conscious brain because it's it's driving you crazy you just can't go to that place in koshers we have an experience an idea the way it came in is the way it goes out so if it came in from a pre-verbal space it's not going out through verbal uh conversation so now so now yeah so that means that you have to also help the traffic good good that's a good question so asap has tremendous sparks so what's our relationship with aself so here's the point aesop has that number 11 and remember that that's the superior quality of ace of riakov because the divine spark in asap has a certain infinity to it because it never came into structure its flaw becomes its virtue right clipper has a certain intensity that is bohemian that is infinite that is uninhibited because its relationship with the divine is number 11. now what about holiness does holiness have number 11 does holiness have number 11 or not of course we call it kesser that's kessa it's called attic it's the macheth but there's a difference by kidusha number 11 is not what gives life to the ten spheres because the ten spheres the life of the ten spheres are integrated in the ten so it's number ten number 11 is completely aloof it's independent so it's not counted with the 10. in zayar there's an expression anto you're one and it's not part of the judgment of the calculation of ten that's kes but in sitra akhira the makif is what gives it hyus so you have to include the market in the number because without the number 11 it doesn't have any vitality kedusha the vitality goes into the 10. and the 11 is completely beyond so now how does kedusha bring out the holiness of asaph how does yaakov find the holiness of asaf there's only one way if he finds his own number 11. if kedusha cannot find its own number 11 it's never going to be able to excavate and bring out the kedusha of asov because the kedusha of asav is in number 11. so if yaakov goes to asap with the 10 it's never going to find the market of asaf so yaakov has to find the number 11 in him and that's why the bracha of yitzhak to yaakov is dew of heaven which in zarya it says that's attic the dew of heaven represents kesser because if you want to excavate the sparks of asaf you have to access your own number 11 which transcends structure now this is a very profound point so i'm going to illustrate i'm going to try to bring it down now what it means in life in real relevant life so we'll we'll be able to understand what this means we have our friend from pakistan here welcome she always begins her comments saying how beautiful and real thank you it's good so the holiness i'm quoting a question on zoom so the holiness of clipper is really untouched because it remains above and it's not distorted and it's never integrated into the ten so therefore it remains pure yes very true is this the idea is this is this connected to sava versus mamali yes it's connected to cyber versus mammalia mammalia is integrated save is makif absolutely next question is the whole point to integrate the divine into the ten spheres and ultimately become one with the divine by elevating the ten spheres does that mean that clipper gives something to kedusha because it challenges kaducha to go to number 11. absolutely you're getting it good next question it's like one it's like if one is unconscious of the existence of hashem and all of a sudden hashem somebody sees hashem either you will die of a heart attack or you will become it will be an utter shock and you're going to go into a coma and you're going to melt away into nothingness yes okay so let's now let's now go to the next step there's a story to to explain this is a story that the laboratory ever shared you based thomas tufts of base 19 summer of 1962 out of hebrew and the story is very relevant to understand this point he told the story that uh he told a story that it was once a fabregan with the rebel ashab he heard the story from his father-in-law it was and asked what is the definition of a khasit so the rebel the fifth of baby never responded to him a lamplighter and he explained that in the shtetlach in the olden days there was no light but they had on the streets they had poles pillars and in the pillars there was the ability to light up a wick a lantern and there was somebody at night somebody hired by the city by the shtetl by the municipality to go he had a big staff a stick and on top there was a fire and he would light all of these lanterns so there was brightness at night in the shtetl it's called a in in hebrew they call it a pansai somebody who who's a lamplighter right right so the debbie said that's a hassett akase to somebody who walks around with that fire with that flame and he lights up he lights up all the lanterns that's his job in other words every soul is a near hashem every soul is a potential is really a flame of hashem but sometimes it has to be kindled so that's a cause so this fellow asked that ever ashab he said what happens if uh [Music] if the lantern is in a desert so he said so you go into the desert and you light it up so he says what happens if you don't see it you don't see the potential for the light so he says that's because of your own crassness if you would be more refined you would see the light in somebody else so he said you have to work on yourself so he said and what happens if the person is in the ocean so the rabbi said that you go to the ocean you take off your clothes you jump in and you light them up in the ocean so the man looked at him and said this is a hasid that's a hasid so that ever went into a meditation rebel asham for a while and he picked up his head and he said yeah this is ah now it's a very very deep story i'm not saying it exactly i don't remember exactly all the details the way he said it but this is the thrust of it but what what was this point so the dev explained one of the points that's what i want to bring out here the person says what if the lantern is in the desert what does it mean it's in a desert in the desert means that sometimes it's a place where there's no civilization it seems like the person is beyond hope they're lost in the wilderness so he said you go to the desert then you light it up over there what happens if the person is in the ocean you can't light a fire in the ocean if you light a fire in the ocean it's going to be extinguished right you put a lit a wick and a flame in the ocean you're not exactly going to have a fire so you said you have to jump into the water but he said you have to first take off your clothes and that ebb explained as follows if i want to save somebody in the water and i go in with my clothes it's not going to work it's going to impede your ability to swim and navigate your body in the water to save somebody sometimes there's no choice but you take off your clothes and you jump and what did they never mean by that so the laboratory have explained what the rebel shop meant was as follows sometimes when somebody is drowning in the water if i go in with my clothes with my garments i'm not going to be able to touch them i have to take off my garments what does that mean garments he says represent the structure of a person's life the way i present myself but these become my comfort zone these become the way i dress people have the way they dress the way you carry yourself or to put it more abstractly the way you see yourself the way you identify yourself if i'm going to go into the sea with those garments i'm not going to be able to accomplish what i want to accomplish why because the person who's there doesn't have a relationship with that style with those garments they won't get it they won't understand the language he says you have to be ready to take off your clothes and get to your own headset get to your own core get to your own soul card and then your core will touch his core or her core because the core they have it can't be a relationship based on garments it has to be a relationship based on your beer self your beer self means the self that is unaddressed and not camouflaged and not decorated with all the garments that's an example of what we mean by number 11. what does this mean practically there's a therapist here in muncie he comes to a lot of our so he told me once that there was a teenage boy who was struggling and he came into therapy to the therapist with his father and the father started to speak about the boy's schedule the therapist told me i'm laughing you'll see why so the father is telling the boy he says learn from me i wake up six in the morning i have a shear i learn i go daven after davening i go to work i put in a productive full day at the end of the day i feel good i feel accomplished and that's the beauty of having a structured day and why don't why don't you emulate that wake up early in the morning put in a good day it'll be a fulfilling day instead you schluff and you sleep till three in the afternoon you do nothing you waste your night if you would only have a good meaningful structured day then your life would be so happy so the therapist tells me the boy looks at his and he says it was obviously coming from pain but the thrust of what he said is wow you're teaching me something brilliant that i don't know that if i wake up early and i put in the full day of study or prayer or work i'll have a structured day do you think i don't know that that was the end of the conversation and he laughed of everything his father said now what happened over there the father meant well father was encouraging his son to emulate him right there was one challenge what's the challenge put it in the words of this miami the father wanted to remain in the number 10. he couldn't go to number 11. you're not going to be able to speak to this boy if you don't go to number 11. obviously there's something in your structure that's not working for him it's very nice to tell to tell to tell somebody just get into a structured life and everything was going to be amazing but there's something in your structure that's just not working for him completely not there's something broken there's something not functioning you know tell the car just drive or tell the person running the marathon just run the problem is his leg broke learn from me i'm running you also run it's great if both legs are working you encourage the person to run you give them an incentive but if a leg is broken if your car broke down you tell her just drive i can't drive learn from me all i'm telling you is basically that i don't know anything you're going through i don't understand you i don't tune in to you this is where clipper where asa challenges yaakov to go out of himself and take off his own garments to find the number 11 within himself as long as my holiness is defined by structure which is amazing by the ten spheres it's beautiful but you'll never be able to help asa find the holiness within himself because your holiness will not speak to his holiness because his holiness is rooted in infinity because he is number 11. only when i have the courage and it takes a lot of courage to connect to my own number 11 which means i have to go out of my own comfort zone and i have to find the god head which transcends the ten spheres in simple english it means i have to take off my garments and jump into the water with my etsy with my core then i can trigger the kedusha that is in you as long as i want you should come down to my level you should accommodate my level you should come close to my level which means look at the beauty of ten everything is structured everything is categorized i won't speak to you because your your idealism is rooted in number 11 and you know it and you know it so you need the infinity so kedusha gets elevated through asaf ace of needs yaakov but yaakov also needs asap aesop needs yaakov because asap is lost asap is broken but yaakov needs asap because yaakov on his own is number 10. and ace of challenges of challenges to find his own kesser to find his own super conscious to find his own transcendence if you want to put it in more in in in in relevant language that's very relatable to many people today is sometimes when a family has somebody who deviates from the family structure that child helps the parents grow in a way that nobody else would help the parents grow because you're forced to say goodbye to the religious structure that was functional and working but now it stopped working and because it stopped working if you're going to remain stuck in that place you'll never be able to reach that child so you have to go to a much deeper place in yourself you have to strip yourself from every element of ego including a spiritual ego and every element of a comfort zone where godliness becomes structured in your schedule and personality you have to say goodbye to your old god and welcome a new infinite true pure unadulterated undiluted divine infinity which touches your essence you have to get in touch with that and then you could touch your child's essence or somebody else's child's essence and we resist this we want to remain in our comfort zones does anybody know what i'm talking about huh rabbi litzman doesn't know what i'm talking about okay [Laughter] i get it i hope somebody knows what i'm talking about every real relationship demands this work no question but in order to but especially when you're in a relationship with somebody who's struggling and that's what asap represents asap is very holy and yitzhak knows that holiness but asap's holiness is not integrated within him that's the tragedy of asap you know it says that aesop at the end of his life he was beheaded and his head was buried in the bosom of yitzhak targa you know that his body was buried in the field near the cave in hebron but the head of asap was in the cave of yitzchak racial days with winter that means who's buried right in the race right now yitzhak in the bosom yaakov is buried in a separate plot but you know there's a halal here you now let it bury outside russia you know there's a story in tanakh in 13 of kings 2 i think that there was a false prophet and he died and the jews were digging were preparing a plot for him to bury him and troops of moab came in to take booty to steal jewish grain and the jews were afraid that they're gonna they're gonna beat them or kill them so the corpse of this false prophet they didn't have time to give it its own burial plot so they cast the corpse into the cave of elisha the prophet and this corpse touched the bones of elisha and he was a big russia this false prophet and he was resurrected and he walked out of the cave and he fell somewhere else and they buried him somewhere else so the gemara says in sanhedrin because hashem did not want a russia buried near sadiq so there was a miracle of resurrection so that alicia should remain alicia should remain untouched asov his head is buried right in yitzhak and yitzhak's bosom what happened the answer is the head of yitzhak represents number 11 the super conscious the higher brain of asaf the core of asap is holy it's sacred it's right near yitzhak it's one with yitzhak and that's why yitzhak wanted to bless him so that asap should be able to find unity he should be able to find his holistic integrated kedusha the tragedy is there was separation there was a separation on gulf between asap's head and asap's body between asap's higher self super conscious of and ace of his manifest itself when ace of cries why did yakov take away the blessings those tears exist on two levels they exist on the level of here's a thief who takes everything from me but they also exist on a deeper level he's crying for healing that never happened why did i have to be this person why do i have to be this criminal there's that inner soul of ace of that weeps and says i wish i could have been somebody else in other words i wish i could have been who i really am but i don't know who i really am anymore you have to be able to hear those tears of ace of the gomorrah says the famous uh explanation of the illusionary that meshich is going to come the gomorrah says that uh that the murder has tears in shushan was because of ace of stairs in height israel delusion it says is going to come when yaakov is going to dry up ace of stairs what does this mean sheikh is going to come you're here when yayako's in the dryer ace of stairs what it means is every everybody is holy yeah asap is also holy there's the famous vilnigan vest ace of sannesi it's the s of asap that i don't like it's the toefl of asaf it's the body of asia that becomes disconnected from the head but asap is also sacred and yaakov needs to dry up those tears that's why yitzha gave him the blessings for yaakov to drive the tears of asaf yaakov has to find his own infinite godliness and to make it very very real we have an ace of inside of us everybody we have the ace of inside of us the ace of inside of me is the part of me that is filled with that this it's the part of me that is broken that is fragmented that experiences dissonance that experiences dysfunction and trauma and i'm not going to heal that part if i'm just going to come from a place of number 10 you have to go to a place of number 11. it's like when you're dealing with that child or with that nephew or with that niece or with that student or that other person who is broken who is fragmented and you insist that you're going to remain within your comfort zone and let them let them come close to you and you're going to lose them you have to be able to strip yourself from all your garments you have to discover a yiddish guide that is not defined by your spiritual structures and comfort zones in order to be able to trigger number 11 you have to find the god that is infinite now this is very very pr somebody says please be practical i don't know how i can be more practical either you get it maybe you have to think about this a little more but the real point here is that it's so easy to become what's the word to become smug this is who i am and this is how i function and this is how i operate and this is how i'm going to connect to you and i'm not ready to go out of that i'm not ready to transcend that and you know what it works for me because i'm in a very holy environment and in kadush everything is integrated but you'll never be able to touch the spark of asa and in that sense you will also remain in prison asap needs you but you also need asuf because he helps you find yourself there's an amazing void from the altareba that uh it's amazing word from altareb that when yitzhak tells asaf to bring him the food he says bring me the food and i'm going to bless you i'm going to bless you so asav tells so asif goes to bring the food when rifka repeats the words of yitzhak to yaka if she adds words that her husband never sent she said that her husband said hashem i'm going to bless you before god yitzhak never said that never said that he said i'm going to bless you rifka quoted him wrongly she said he said i'm going to bless you before god so rashi says what she meant was that god is going to agree to these blessings and it was maybe rifka's way of explaining to yaakov why it's so important to get these blessings because god is going to endorse them valtteri says in toyota's and this mind me that is quoting something much deeper leaf hashem means before god it also means life nay is before above like something that comes before there is life hashem there's youth okay and then there's life the ten spheres come from rifki is telling yaakov this bracha is left hashem it's higher than yutyke this brach is from it comes from the infinite transcendence that's why asap is getting this blessing because yaakov needs to reveal number 11. so it's coming from lifne hashem and therefore yaakov if you want to be able to take these blessings and give them to asap you have to go leaf hashem you cannot only connect hashem through yutake wafkee which is through the structure of the tennis virus you have to become achilles you need the bittle you need the humility to be able to go out of your own divine structure and open yourself up to the true experience of infinity because only then will you be able to be the one who transmits these blessings to asap if you will remain stuck in your yutake even though it's amazing it's beautiful it's holy it's godly but you'll never reach the left hashem you will not have a relationship with these blessings this is so this is so profound because you see in the morning we say every morning we speak about the 11 herbs right remember and what's the last statement if you took away if you didn't put in one of the herbs you're deserving of the death penalty i always wondered really the death penalty why because he didn't put in it's like i tell you you know make me an egg okay i need in the egg pepper i need some vegetables i need some cheese i need some salt a little butter a little spices and if you risk if you delete one of the ingredients you get the death penalty okay so i understand it's not my breakfast it's hashems tyrus fine so you're missing you put in 10 herbs and you're missing one of them if one of these is missing if even one because it's the there's 11 and number 11 is what gives the heels to all of them so if you take out one you deprived the energy from the clipper you took away their life force because it's that number eleven if you took out one that number one that which is number eleven because you took away from it it's energy you took away from it you gave it a death sentence if you deny from the clipper number 11 you you gave it a death sentence and each one is essential and it's not just number 11. it's all of them each one is essential to its functionality in very very realistic terms this means that in every situation that i confront that i'm confronted with in life especially situations that are difficult situations where i'm confronting asev the last thing you want to do is lock yourself up in your bubble the last thing you want to do is put on a bullet prep bulletproof vest and go like this and don't let anybody close to you i understand the emotion we want to resist anything else because we want to fortify ourselves and go back into our comfort zones where we're going to be safe but that's very very destructive that it's uh that's coming from your own ace or from your own trauma what you have to do is you have to allow for openness you have to allow your heart to get open you have to remove the bulletproof vest you have to tune in to the tears and to the cry of asap you have to be able to identify the holiness the sparks in asap and then you have to let that touch you in your core and go out of or go transcend a godliness that is filtered through your finite tools and open yourself up to the divine calling right here right now in relationship to this person you have to ask yourself not what god can do for me but what i can do for god and not what you can do for me but what i can do for you and it's easy it's not easy because if i'm the lifeguard i want to sit on the throne and say get out of the water but as the rabbit shop said you have to take off your clothes and jump in and when i take off my clothes i don't recognize myself because i always walk around with these clothes you know i have my tie i have my suit i have to let my vulnerable core emerge in the relationship and when that happens asap has turned you into the person you were capable of becoming ace have allowed you a much deeper relationship with hashem before yom kippur i sent out a story there was a clip i sent out i said it in one of the shirim i think there was a jew here in muncie some of us had the privilege of knowing him rabbi ronnie greenwald you remember rabbi ronnie greenwald and he once went to hotel for him kipper there was a program for jews for yom kippur and right before kanidre there was a group of teenagers let's call them ex-hasidim who arrived to the hotel simply they wanted a place to chill on yom kippur they didn't realize that there's a whole program there and a whole minion there and romney spent most of him kipper either at the swimming pool or in the lobby with teenagers who came from religious homes they were drinking beer but he spent the yom kippur with them he probably darwin in his room when he can but but he spent much of him keep it with them that's an example for this because you know most people would say i can't give up mayam kippur to be with these guys you know let them get their act together it's jim kipper but he understood that you have to take off your clothes and jump into the water who says what jim kipp is supposed to look like maybe god wants that you should spend him kipper at the swimming pool so you say no no no it's not jewish it's not structured like it's jewish structure it's not communal life but it's authentic that ability is the ability of real flexibility where you don't worship an image of kedusha you you worship god you don't worship religion that's the difference in number you can worship religion now some of you still don't understand what i'm saying so i'll say something else the next time somebody says something to you and your initial reaction is to attack to criticize to explain to them how wrong they are try to resist it and really watch why you have to respond that way are you responding that way because you really really feel this is what's going to help them or you're responding this way because you were caught off guard and you're feeling threatened the moment you're responding a certain way because you're feeling threatened it means you're in prison and if you're in prison better not to respond if you can get yourself out of prison your own prison then you respond not based on what is going to make you feel more comfortable or what you feel is the right thing based on you being so uncomfortable and queasy but really tune in what they need at this moment this is an example of going out of your structure and tuning into something much deeper now here we're talking about a holy structure we're not talking about here the 10 spheres are not arrogant the 10 spheres are holy but still they define god in a limited way and to touch ace of you need number eleven and that's what rifka said lif nash and we gotta go beyond yut kevke okay we're gonna take a break here and we'll continue and i hope to finish the mimer by the next year and uh we'll bring it all together by azir hashem so that's gonna be thursday morning 7 30 a.m somebody asks is this the concept of mysterious nephesh yeah in a way what does mysterious nephesh mean mysteriousness means it doesn't only mean to kill yourself mysteriousness means surrendering your soul surrendering your structure surrendering what you experience as your identity and opening yourself up to god's calling of you which is always much deeper it's your real identity it's your infinite identity yeah that's what real self-transcendence is it's responding from a very deep place of freedom you get it it's responding from a very deep place of freedom a deep place of freedom means i do not respond from a place where i'm just trying to guarantee that i am good i'm comfortable i'm safe i don't need to i don't need to if you need to then you can jump into the water but the real lifeguard could take off the clothes and jump into the water and go into that place you can ask a question about it or anybody listen you want to do you want to communicate in a way that speaks to the other person you never want to alienate the other person now you have to always be careful because some people can take this wrongly and say you could start breaking go out of structure and you could break the halacha right you don't have to follow god's structure so you have to be very careful with this he's not talking here about the structures of halacha that a person has to follow because the ten spheres are ultimately where it's at but itself can become a trap it becomes all about the structure of not the infinity of it you understand we need structure we need structure in our lives structure is not bad structure is very good but structure is a tool to get to infinity you can't use structure and turn it into a trap that just keeps you uh keeps you cloistered and and and and you become allergic and you become defensive and you become dismissive and you become judgmental when your structure is divorced from number 11 from kesser so your halachic life your ritualistic structured life is severed from pure infinity and then there is a smugness that sets in a certain arrogance a certain holier-than-thou attitude a certain judgmentalism a certain dismissiveness fortunate as the person who never allows number 10 to become divorced from number 11. the finite is a tool to access infinity the structure is a tool to go beyond structure so you need structure because if there's no structure in life there's chaos the bohemian life that's not based in structure becomes chaos that's why we have chakras time for kriya time for davening grant us shabbos there's yamthev there's morning there's night the sun rises the sun sets very important it's the rhythm of life it's like a body if you tell your body no structure just chaos every cell do whatever you want you're dead the lungs have to do what the lungs do and the the right and the urinary system needs to follow the urinary system and the digestive system of the digestive system suddenly confuses its role with the respiratory system or with the circulatory system what happens we're dead right the sequence of dna is meticulous and if somebody says who cares about structure we'll just change the sequence that change of sequence wreaks havoc and that's the idea of spheres so this has to be understood don't misunderstand this sirius is a divine structure but hashem is not defined by structure he's beyond it structure is the way godliness expresses itself in the world and expresses itself in a person's life and the tragedy of clippers that it has that number 11 that's not integrated but that gives you the challenge that the structure becomes a tool to always be able to touch infinity this is based on the maya material the lab explains it here but it's based on that this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot the yeshiva.net slash donate