The ART of A Blessing for Sincere Teshuva with Rabbi Asher Baruch Wegbreit

Heat. Heat. [Music] your sh. >> Okay. So the Mishna Buddhist says there's something called kavana which is focus focus of your hearts. Well, we all struggle with it in prayer. But then there's mitzvah, which is intention. Okay? Now, it means more than just having the mitzvah in mind. It means having in mind while you're doing the mitzvah, at least to start, why you're doing it. Why are we doing mitzvah? >> Because God said so. >> Perfect. Because God said so. Now let's just I want to explain to you how important that is. Okay. Um I I saw this in an article that Revit SV Wriggler wrote. Uh I mean it was a really sad story. The one of the top comedians in France. Okay. Guess what uh Persuasion was? Was he Jewish? Of course. There's we have a long history of comed comedians. So, one of the very top comedians in France, Jewish guy, he announced that he was Shemi Raim converting to Catholicism. Now, yeah, that's a little shocking. That doesn't happen that much. But listen to his story. Listen to what caused it. Okay? He said that, you know, he was he was farty and, you know, grew up kind of traditional, not religious, but traditional. And one time they were working walking by a church and uh Catholic church and the parents said, "Don't go in there. Don't go in there." So, not saying they were wrong. They were correct. But you know what you do when you tell a 8-year-old kid, "Don't go in there." And guess what? He and his brother snuck in. And they look and what do they see? He sees the virgin, the mother Mary, you know, and and she's like, I don't know, holding a kid, but his heart was so touched. It like he just felt so emotionally moved by it. And that image never left him. Take note, that image never left him. And before you know it, this happened. So, Rebbitson Wriggler just hit it on the head. For us, it's not easy to feel a relationship with Hashem because we can't see him, right? No images. No images. And we make the following mistake. I thought this brilliant point she made. She says, "Hashem has no form, but he's not an abstraction. Hashem is not an abstraction. How are you going to have a relationship with an abstraction?" Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead, tell me. Right. So, Hashem's not an extraction. He's just formless. Okay. So that's why you know that you can see I if we have to um make commandments for something it's always because there's a like some sort of drive natural drive to do something right. So we images are a way to relate to something as real and present. And so what is the second commandment? No, no images because I have no image. But I am completely I am so real. This is Kadesh Boru. He's so real that there's really we're all questionably real in a certain sense. One of the best metaphors for this is um somebody's writing a novel and he writes in these characters and then they have a little journey and then they're gone. Okay, we are it's pretty um deep experience to try this just to feel like you're a you know there's an author who's writing your writing you and you're in his existence and you're praying that Russer you're praying please keep me in the book again right I want another year but here's the point um since Hashem uh is not doesn't have form and no emotional pictures which are falsehood right it's falsehood but that people get prayed to what what can we do we have to draw Hashem into our consciousness we have to make do that now cuz when we do a mitzvah okay uh the old the old-timers in quotes have to sit this one out what mitzvah are we doing this moment >> learning >> learning Torah right We're doing learning Torah. Now the we we are doing that. If you ask us what we're doing, we'll say we're learning. But it's so important to state our intention that we're learning. Hashem, listen to, you know, I just brought Hashem into the picture now. Hashem, I'm learning because you told me to. You commanded me to. Okay. That's big cuz now Hashem's in the picture and you're more present. You're talking to someone. You hear like learning Torah. You don't see a a reaction a a relationship in that sense, right? But there is one. In fact, the um the nephem says when you're learning Torah there, what the reaction if we could put words on it from Hashem is this tremendous affection for us. Like you know, you see a adorable little kid, you know, and you feel like this Hashem feels so much. But we must we must do something to um to make that uh m the to realize the mitzvah is a relationship. Okay. So that's what I'm trying to do. So I I encourage you try this everywhere you go. Okay. So that's that's my introduction and it's really important cuz I just gave a a talk on Torah any time and thank god it had like 7,000 views. It just Yeah. It just went boom like this. So the one of the rabbis that uh inspired my work on this, Rabbi Daniel Garfinklewell, he wrote a book. So he said to me, don't stress to them. Stretch him that it's not just to have in mind the mitzvah. It's to have in mind that the boreolum the creator commanded you and you're responding to him. It's a relationship. Okay. So that's introduction. Now let's uh apply this. I want to try to apply this to Yom Kipper and then maybe after the sukus. All right. So um yeah, just give me a second. Yeah, but this is what we'll do. Uh what's the mitzvah of the day now? What's our mitzvah? Torah. >> Right. Right. But but sorry of the time period Sarah made chuva till yung kipper chuva. Right. So, first of all, all of you um in theory are doing Chuva for sure every day. How is that? So, I'm positive Ronnie is doing Chuva every day. You what? What are you doing every day? >> Sleos. Okay. Now again this is where intentionality comes in big cuz sleos and we discussed it can become an abstraction you know oh got sleos got chakras where chakras I mean if you ask me you'll tell me it's the morning service right but really um chakras should be we should describe it to ourselves as this is one of the ways to get our wrote I'm appealing to the king I have a right you just have to describe it in a new way where you realize what's going on. But here's what are you doing? What are we doing in Sleos? >> What you saying? >> Sorry. Please don't punish me. I'm sorry. Sorry. Please don't punish me. No, I know. I know I've been doing ter I know I've done things that are terrible. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me. That's Sle. Now the thing is about sleos is you're saying here's where I I am saying for sure you're doing chuva is you recite the voy okay now when before you recite the vid voy is a mitzvah dissa it's a Torah commandment to um confess you know to say confess your sins and we know that they constructed that veto even just the shamnu that we Hey, we're in there. Things we've done are in that. If you just say then to say Hashem, I right now I may not be exactly clear where it is, but I know I'm in here, right? Just be sincere. But what you should do is stop. I call this estasy. Anyone would like to be in estasy. Sty. Here's the formula to be present. Stop. Think. Concentrate. Now what what do I mean by that? Let's say you see the veto is coming. So you know vto is coming. So you say ah I have a miss it' be good to write it down but you say you stop think um I'm about to recite voy because you command me to hashem. That's your ratson. I'm going to do voy and I'm going to feel regret. Right. By the way, you know where the regret part is? The other part of is feeling regret. So right after you say the you say shavealana, we we turned away from your mitzvah and it wasn't worth it. Right? You say, "Ah, I really blew it. That was not worth speaking Linhara. It did not I did not gain from that. That was terrible. I feel horrible." Boom. You've just done chuva. But with your present now you hear this. So on your way to yom kipper let's take advantage of the sleos. I mean there's more mitzvah in there. There's crying out to shem. Okay. What you said Moshe Hashem Hashem the that's we're crying out to Hashem to save our lives and to not it's like the eagle you know not everybody made it through the eagle alive you know. So the same thing. Good. Now, um, the next thing I like to do, and you I promise you if you do it, you will thank me on stream sometime. I don't know if I'll hear you say it directly. Please God, I will. Um, we're going to do we're going to tackle one of the alates, one of the um, aas that's listed in the yum kipper vidoy. We're going to we're going to try to uh, address it right now. We're gonna I'm gonna give you an approach uh to deal with it because here's the thing. What get and again I like asking it as a question. If not I'll mention it. What's the hardest? Well, here let me go through the steps. The the minimum basic steps are um vidi confessing that you did wrong before hashem karat feeling bad about what you did and a stopping to do it. Okay? Which kind of includes I'm not an a kabala. I I'm making a commitment. I'm not going to do it any longer. So I'll repeat them again and ask you which is the hardest. Oi a um which is stopping the sin which also includes a commitment not to do it ever again. What's the hardest? >> Not to do it again. >> Not to do it again and to commit to it, right? Even to commit to it, right? Cuz we feel like we're hypocrites, right? It's just lip service. I'm never going to get angry again. >> Yeah. >> No, there are people who've done it. I I had a Rousa. He worked very hard. Rabbi Dove Sandler. >> Yeah. He just said, "I'm taking on anger." And boom, boom, boom. He just approached it with steadfast commitment. He stopped being angry. You know, he just the next week he said it was okay to this week. No, no anger. It's pretty big, right? So, I'm not We can do anything, right? if Hashem helps us and if we pill but I'm going to tackle a hard one and we're going to try to do um chuva. We're going to be able I hope we're going to be able to make somewhat of a a genuine commitment that we're not going to do it again. So what we're going to do now is we're going to tackle one of the alates and by the way it's very famous. This goes back to Rev Israel Salanter the um even even in his times he said for us to say I'm going to completely do everything not so realistic and he came up with the concept of kaba katana to make a small but real commitment to really stop some sin at least on some level that's what we're going to do right now okay we're going to kind of use that approach but thanks to the concept of kavana mitzvah having intentionality and this and that I discovered a way to tackle one of the hardest ones. Okay, so let me Okay, let me read the um the the alate. Okay, amongst the ones that it mentions, it says [Music] Ah thank you regarding the sin the a vera that I sinned before you senuifs anyone want to tr translate >> conversation >> right sak is to converse and what areas lips lips. Very good. >> I I aem I'm I'm doing voy about the a veras I've done with the convers with the conversing of my lips. But listen to what that means. It's not talking about lushian horara. There's a separate one for that etc. It's It's not really even focused on just speaking like waste of time stuff. It's not that either. Listen to what it says. I'm using Ra Bernum's commentary. He's outstanding. It's like this. Bot sauce devarin cavana. For words to come out of your mouth without focus. This time focus of the heart without kavanas. Keon for example we've dedu and we said oh venu a main and we said a main below cavana okay this is the classic kavana we're talking about I didn't I wasn't focused when I prayed I wasn't focused when I made brahos and I said a main and I didn't have focus by the way At some point we'll do it. There's so much you can accomplish in an Main. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. But not for now. Okay. Anybody here might feel guilty. D's not going to tell us. But I'm raising my hand. The in fact this like I said I there's no I couldn't escape the fact and and if you think about it, we make a hundred blessings a day, right? And I just realize a lot of itah, you know, I mean totally unfocused. And look, everybody struggles with it. You know, you're not like uh Hamas for not having kavana you makam. But the but the thing is can we do something about it? I I tried. I mean when I was at Satara I did a vaude muser. I I convened all the guys. We worked on it for a month. We made some progress, but not not the kind of progress that you make when you when you actually start working on intention for the mitzvah and bringing Hashem into the picture. Okay, listen to this. By the way, that again, I told you it's not just about being right now we're learning Torah. It's not just about being conscious of the mitzvah. Is that I'm doing the ratson of Hashem right now. Hashem commands me bringing him into the picture. Listen to this beautiful uh statement by Revitzson Heler. She said um and wait one thing. Give me a second. Any situation where Hashem's not in the picture is a distortion of reality. That's powerful. Okay. So, what we're going to do, um, uh, you know, ideally, uh, can we make a blessing? Uh, is everybody's probably in a shack call right now, right? Uh, I want Well, whatever. I'm going to I'm going to We're going to >> Okay. >> Yeah. Can people make a new blessing? Raise your hand if you can. >> Yeah. Can you or you have No. >> Why could you not? >> Well, because you already are in one. All right. Here we go. Um, Okay, here we go. The what we're going to do now is try to do chuva for the sin of um just the blabbing of our mouth when we're supposed to be making a blessing to Hashem that connects us. We're doing no it's not um putting our focus and heart into it. So I want to give an approach to making a blessing that thank God myself and many others that says is extremely helpful. Okay. And once we do that then we can um do a type of chuva once we know how we're going to actually stop throwing them out of our mouth. Okay. So the first thing is when you're making a blessing there's the first mitzvah. Okay. Uh here I got a glass of water. So you stop. Think what mitzvah am I about to do? Someone tell me. >> Blessing on the water. >> Blessing on the water. Okay, that's a mitzvah duraban to make a a blessing for pleasure. By the way, a duraban is really a dissa because commands us to listen to the rabbis and not a rebel. But basically, I begin with setting my intentions. I'm about to make a blessing uh because Hashem commands me to listen to the rabbis and they say make a bra before you take pleasure. Okay. So now I'm focused in that way. Now that's that's mitzvos. All right. Then we have now kavan which means to focus on the words coming out of our mouth and to reflect on them. Now, the reason it's hard what I what we're going to do, and by the way, if people are um listening, they would like this card, just email me. [email protected]. Okay. So, what we're going to do is I'm going to do a shak. People here are going to do other brahas. But the trick is this. There. Why is it hard to maintain focus? Because you're bored with the repetition. You say the same thing again and again. And the classic approach to improve is to look for beautiful insights into the words which works but it takes some stamina and commitment to keep finding new things or keep twisting it. All right. I came up with um this is there when you make a blessing there are three Torah commandments in the blessing itself and each commandment requires you to be in a certain state of consciousness or or or to move into a certain emotional state that helps in other words if I know I have a sentence and I have to move myself into three different states while I'm doing it. I have much more task involvement to keep me engaged in what I'm doing. That's the that's the secret. The more you have to do, right? If you have and and this work is great because it's all about um awareness and emotions. Okay? So, in every braha, I call this the art of a braha. You have awareness that you are in the presence of Hashem speaking to him. reverence for Hashem's names and gratitude, thanks. That's art, awareness, reverence, thanks. And the blessing breaks into this. Okay? And translate. Well, I'm going to just I'll do it for us. You are the source. That's what I'm saying. You are the source of blessing or shea. When I say you, guess what? the the way I get everybody into the awareness state. Okay, most all of you are have not while during this year have not been in paying attention to your breathing. Correct? All right, take a second right now. Notice that you're breathing. Okay, that all you it's happening. But when you focus presence of Hashem is the same way. We're we're in Hashem's presence right now, but we're we're listening this to this. We're not maybe conscious of being in his presence. But when you say you have a this is the mitzvah of a no of ama and hem that Hashem exists and you're speaking to him, right? So the instruction number one is when you say draw Hashem into your awareness realize and and and realize you're speaking to him and that's a mitzvah of amuna. Okay, good. Then Hashem's names, Hashem, Elohu, there's a mitzvah dissa of Urus Hashame. How do you translate ashem, >> right? Fear of the name, reverence for the name. So when you say hashem's name in a braha, >> you're you're you should have in mind, it's enough to have in mind adonacle. He's the master of everything. If you translate that in your mind, you're showing respect for his name. You're not just saying it. Okay? And that's a mitzvah of your hashem. Elou means mighty totally capable and in control of all forces. Okay? If you think about those meanings, see you have a task. Again, when I say Hashem's name, Hashem, I'm going to think ado because I want to fulfill his commandment to have reverence for his name. And then mela, how do you translate Olam >> world. >> No, wrong. I know it seems like, right? He said world. No, give me a give me a a more accurate translation. >> Everything. >> Uh, but okay, but ol. What's a good word for everything that's olum? >> Universe. >> Universe, right? The spir the physical universe, the spiritual universe. He's the king of that whole thing. So that inspires uh what we call Urus aroma, a sense of Hashem's exaltedness. This is all a mitzvah of Urus Hashem. So first I get into the awareness state. I'm speaking to Hashem. I'm already going to be there. Okay. Then when I get to Hashem's name, Adon, I'm translating the I'm treating the name with all and awareness. So I just fulfilled another mitzvah. And finally, it's my favorite uh story is there's the rabbi who um it's Shabas Roes. He's at the meal and it's right before benching he knocks. By the way, when you're benching, don't forget to thank Hashem. You realize you could bench and you can be focused on the words every word and you're but you didn't feel gratitude. Okay, that's Rabbi Miller makes it clear the purpose of these type of brahas is gratitude. So, so you get all gushy, get all gushy mushy in when you say sh if you're making a shro everything that I love he makes. Just feel some gratitude. You hear? Or he makes delicious cakes. It's it's all through him, right? So you feel it. What have you done? You've just taken a journey in one sentence through three major states. Awareness you're in the presence of Hashem speaking to him. Then having realizing who you're speaking to fulfillments of your of the shame. Okay. And then finally gratitude. So this all right. So let's do this and then and then we can complete a type of chuva. Okay. That will be more sincere maybe than in the past. Okay. So try this at home. Try this wherever you are. Okay. [Music] Slow, slow. Focus on what you're doing. Art. Do the art. Feel you're speaking to Hashem. Think about the meaning of those words and feel reverence. And then feel gratitude as you as you're making those bramanas. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now, uh there is a mitzvah to enjoy the food. Okay. All right. That's uh I'm >> okay. >> You got that down. >> Have in mind your Here's a good mitzvah. While you're eating or drinking, have in mind the mitzvah that I'm doing this to to have strength to serve you, she or to be in a good mood to serve you. Okay? All right. Okay. Now, I gave you a format. I gave you a card. And again, you can contact me if you want a card. I gave you a format. I gave you a card. Now if you uh here we're going to now we're going to try to do an initial process of chuva which you can continue the rest of the week till yum kipper and then on yum kipper you can really get into it please God and Hashem will give you ma kapara you say okay ready >> here we go so um this is what I suggest is that um first of all everybody should do voy okay you can just focus on the words I'm saying is let's take a minute uh I'm going to give you a simple process of karata for regret we're going to say voy with the whole idea of admitting the sin to hashem is really also you have to feel regret such an important thing when you're saying the voy feel like Shem, you're so good to me. You get you give me a hundred reasons to bless you a day and I go, you hear you say, you're so good to me or you know I could be so much closer to Shem. I could have so much more blessing in my life. You can think of how it's affected you. What you know what Yuria says in a in a nutshell that Ravena says is for Chua. He says, "What have I done to myself?" You could say that what have I done to myself by not doing Hashem's will? What have I done to myself and what have I done to the relationship? That's that's karata in a nutshell. Okay. Okay. So, I'm going to recite this slowly and I'm going to myself have in mind the mid everybody have in mind the mitzvah of the vidoy and chuba meaning we're going to confess that we've done this. We're going to feel regret about it. Maybe I'll go slowly so you can really think about how regretful it is. And then we're going to we're going to do the third step of beginning the process to stop sinning to stop making blessings without kavana. Okay. So here we go. And I'll translate for those. I have in mind the mitzvah of doing vid and chuva for the um sin of making blessings without kavana on the sin we've done before you. That means again draw into awareness. senuum with the conversing of my lips which means hashem I made many blessings I said a lot of amazes I dve into you without kavan sole without focus on what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to and uh I realized that you're you're such an important part of my life and I I treat the I've treated my uh this conversations with you so I so lightly and I'm really sorry about it. I'm really I really feel terrible what it's done to myself and to the relationship with you. Kashu I am going to I think you still say bleeter bleet kashu that you opened my eyes that there's a process to make brahas with gavana that's really helpful the art of making a blessing so bleer I'm going to use this card to remind myself to kaj I want to start in a way that doesn't um overwhelm me. So, I'm going to at least do one blessing a day. I recommend to people to make it the first blessing in the morning. You have to set a reminder to yourself that you're going to do this. But I'm going to start with this and it's my intention throughout this next year. You should please give me an all class of life. I'm going to continue to infuse this into the blessings I make so I can say to you, Hashem, I'm I'm I'm aiming to abandon this. I know I'll need your help, but this is my start and I mean it utterly sincerely that I want to put my heart into my conversations with you. Okay, I believe that's a good start. And uh >> shouldn't the first brahap you washing your hands >> in the morning? >> Okay, we'll discuss that. That's a tech a practical. I just Yeah, let me just finish this off. So I want to wish everybody kiva kasima tova and thank the the listeners um at yen and toan time and uh and the incredible uh yeshiva rabia kiva yesa um for um and may we all mamish uh continue to experience the visas and may cause Israel have a rafua nama and a gulma. My birthday [Music] tomorrow