The Advocacy for Our Children in Torah's Perspective - Rabbi Elya Brudny

I was asked to present a Tory perspective and I tried to gear it as much as possible to some of the reasons that we continue to allow things that were eminently preventable to happen and I'm trying to figure out what the Torah says about some of these situations most of the time when something that shouldn't happen happens there was red flags out there to be noticed before hand and whether it's loving parents eminently capable educators and other people that should have noticed that something was amiss it just passed over them or it passed by them almost till it was too late and if it would have the signal would have been noticed earlier on in a process the prevention would have been such that whatever therapies would have been needed so much less complex and so much paintin much more painless so much less pain of the victim and his family would have been subjected to so why does this happen people are not people are smart a parent cares and why does one show allow for a signal to go unnoticed and unheard so I think basically there are two dynamics that come into play and how thou speak about both of them Melek initially elaborates I just want to bring that out every Tish above they're not supposed to learn gemara so we learned that we all come back every year to the gomorian hittin the three the Corbin Aviva Chilean the Holmen of tour malcor the urban debate are tremendous horrible noise that could have and should have been avoided and really little small episodes that could have been caught in the bud would have prevented that and the Gomorrah begins with a plastic ashraya done if I hey Tom it praise be the person that is always fearful apprehensive Omar chalie boy someone who's lengthens his resistance to fear and apprehension deep oberoi will in the end fall into a bad situation and the Guevara brings the famous Gomorrah I'll come so by council hardly ever shall I it was a gentleman that sent His Messenger to invite one his friend instead he invited his enemy and when he saw that the enemy showed up he wanted him to leave and humiliated him publicly and the rabbi's there Mohammed chose to let it pass and obviously for good reason at the time to avoid controversy to avoid making racine to avoid making a collage on but the Gomorrah teaches us that what evolved was the destruction of your assha lion and the destruction of the base Armytage because one thing led to another thing and this person went to Rome and he had an in sight with the rulers of Rome and the base on English came out and when you shall lion was destroyed a little thing it's true it was practical to ignore but that's without taking in the consequences the broader picture so the lack of pocket and instead marchelli boy there's a passage initially the capital y adaalat how come you're a a wise man is fearful with soul mate disarm a rod and he avoids bad situations ook sill and a fool is miserable bataye finds energies to surround himself with false bravado and he just it'll be fine it'll be good and that's it it's a human trait we don't want to get into a complex situation so one has those that inner mechanism that he could develop within himself to generate answer will be fine like in Israel they say yet off heey taupe and those are know a little bit about some of the disappointing military engagements in Israeli history some officer some general smoke Allah yet Oh it'll be good false optimism optimism based on wishful thinking so when a situation arises and a subtle signal my child starts acting a little bit out of character thus course my mind what could have happened and sometimes my radar picks up could it really be that what I noticed last week whether it's a sibling or a relative or a guest but whatever it is admitting it pursuing it the invigilator is going to upset the apple cart and a very painful way following the lead could upset an apple cart to make things complicated to break relationships it could arguably put a family into upheaval the same thing in a school child comes home blurts out something to my wife what does that mean and I have an ax Sian let it right that's easy it'll be good it's probably nothing it's probably my imagination but if I do try to pick up the signal have to deal with the signal where do I start would Y call where do I blow with so how do I've always very complicated and people make that decision time and time again to do what they think and feel at the moment is more expedient to just not notice the flag we have that mechanism within us we have the ability of chillness a variable tariff a fool develops defenses against her from uranus army right we have moksha liebe liebe Oberoi we have the ability not to be the I tahmid not to pick up the signal and we make the mistakes sometimes and by the time we can't avoid the flag because it's not a red flag anymore it's a nicole fledged explosion sometimes it's very late in the game you just heard any three the harshest of the consequences there are so many different layers of consequences that don't necessarily end up gimana let's lan that way but its misery its misery it's a lifetime of misery it's a lifetime of misery for generations some of these victims when they build their own homes sometimes that's not my job yet to elaborate hazehim arroyos an island whose a wise man who could foresee how a scenario plays out I think pirkei avos because it's coming Chavez maybe a beaut Hanuman's akka had five great disciples with Shimon was one of them and he was famous for being the eurasia shaped was very god-fearing and the meatus I hero and he's the one who says Roy is an island morale says the their description of their character missed character traits and they're me dog that they preached or parallel to each other Oh Roy is an eyelet is only if you're a person that's a massage atonement but if you have this tendency to be oblivious or you could create a facade of being oblivious you're not going to be arroyos on oil and you're not going to foresee the scenario playing out this is on the side that the clinician doesn't even see when it gets to the clinician it spares the inhibitions and after finally the whistle has been blown or the explosion has occurred but building up to it it could be months and even years of self-imposed choosing to ignore choosing to be oblivious choosing to be ignorant and this the consequences are brutal so it's been bothering me the best parents of course if you'll blame it on dysfunction so there are there is unfortunately a percentage of society that are unfortunately not highly functional but this goes way beyond that these problems could occur in the most functional families and the best of schools state-of-the-art classrooms how is it that parents you just said pacer night virus on universal as I'm Elaine us I'm Elena a low abundant what does one live for how do we avoid I think the title of my presentation was the advocacy for our children and tourists perspective how could we place temporary comfort or discomfort in the forefront of a psychology a self-imposed psychology of ignoring of being oblivious how did that be I didn't occur to me that parents that are able to do the act of miss iris nefesh teachers principals system teachers school psychologist so ever it shouldn't be that are able to do the right thing risking relationships this can break up a family relationships risking the animosity of children the animosity of siblings the other varsity of parents risking a loss of employment as Michelle and putting that aside and only single-mindedly looking out to be the protector of my child if you look in the toyo the ribbon asylum tells us parsha is right by Martin tuyo attend release and you saw what I did to miss Ryan for sr SML can't finish it carried you on the wings of an eagle and Rashi says an eagle flies higher than all other words all other other words protect their children by carrying them down below them because the targets are above that so they're in between the target the danger and the child so the child is below that but the eagle flies higher than all other birds he's not afraid of anything above him any danger that could come to an eagle is for man from an arrow so the campaign is shortened the Eagle keeps the children on his wings so if i hate's if an arrow comes it'll hit the eagle not his children Rashi says an amazing thing that the plastic in Israel is alluding to the remaining items rattan dr. Collier all at the am so where the Mithraeum Dimitri and was shooting arrows and bullets at the encamping of Claudius troll and the V by nesha loyal Indian on a cover I took in those arrows of course it's only a vehicle it's not the Ravenna chelan taking enero spirit but it's a lesson the avoidance shillelagh ms aveeno Oliver Ackerman aveeno mal que no one in our tell Michelle a location the prototype of parent thing is the rib initially by awful the relationship with mankind and invite us of his teaching us the aspiration of parenting is the fates the arrow should hit me and my child should be protected but if we need to be by national oil on being the role model for this and they were bunch alone choosing from the birds he found the net share of can't finish Orion same thing in our Zulu canary your ear keen oil goes all over yer a cave to reverse always like inertia so obviously that's not an automatic thing being we listen that is not something that a person should have embarrassment about yet in a time of crisis in a time of tragedy we have to reevaluate what parenting is supposed to be we can't go by what we're used to or what's norm the norm out there we're not going to save our children we're not going to save our youth by I lumpkin and huddling naive by parenting like parenting is that we're accustomed to around the world today we have to revisit the toilet to see the standard of what a parent should aspire to one has to Train himself and herself to a mentality to an instinctive ability of motive che bella shades BB what it is i got us my child should be safe no matter what the cost is no matter what the consequences are my child must be safe I'm not saying this house vaishali mesmo sir I don't know if I aspire to that but the Torah does set that as the gold standard of Jewish parenting Jewish parenting is campaign and shoreham Jewish parenting is kenisha your keynote and I begged to say a Jewish teacher a Jewish Rebbe a Jewish Mora a Jewish man I'll a Jewish playgroup teacher a Jewish kindergarten teacher sheen Antonia vanitha a new atoll needham me 9 chatel medium Korean bonham Bhanumati Michelle a location Jewish education is defined by a relationship of parent a child child to parent especially in a time where so many different situations arise with families don't provide security like they used to provide a hundred years ago or so and so many times the school is the real truly base are safer it's a home away from home so if we're aspiring to be parents in the sense of kinetic a night of can't finish aren we should aspire to be teachers and Morris and rabi's on all levels of container Charlemagne konishi re kena and if we do upgrade our parenting skills that feeling of motive shaky Paula hags be we will notice red flags then we're going to be the harm your Avis armed Iran because our approach to our milena way low abundant will be one of wisdom and will avoid the pitfalls of moksha liebe ripple burrow and will avoid the pitfalls of silma Saburo botella I know what I'm saying sounds a bit utopian but verbose I the alternative we've heard I don't believe anybody I came tonight is unaware to a large extent of the scope of this great plague of suffering that we're suffering we should be thinking out of the box yes I think my words are out of the box The Times arise where one has to think out of the about of the box it's an HR early Otto and in an SRO solutions that are out of the box have to be explored pursued and the edge with sha Shan should have success I give my brother so I moved into the leadership of our mood in special bracha to revive he was putting together tonight's program and she recited shaggy road sign satish king of a my singer Dane I thought his powerful should bless our endeavors with sea otter dishmaya thank you